skinbeatergreg skinbeatergreg Stories from The Big City as told by a daytime suit and a nighttime drummer. Articles
Tossed Polymer Salad
2008-04-09 01:19:00 Marketers througout the years have sought to captialize on the popularity and success of films and TV shows through the utilzation of product-tie ins. At my old ad agency there was an entire division devoted to placing products in shows and arranging agreeements for tie-ins. Hard to believe they pay people money for that. Most tie-ins range from bad to horrible, although I think these are exceptional:For a long time I thought that this represented the worst of the worst in product-tie ins:But now I have found one even worse. Capitalizing on the success of the show and the potential success of the movie set to be released at the end of next month, an enterprising adult toy manufacturer has come up with this:It's Sarah Jessica Porkher in all her scatalogical glory! The fact that the product is itself a really crappy pun makes that much more an effective tie in, considering all the poor writing SATC fans have had to endure at the hands of the aneorexic horseface herself. Even th... More About: Salad , Polymer
Wanna be on...Top?
2008-04-07 23:08:00 It's no secret to my Dear Readers that I am a full-on, uncloseted, say-it-loud-cuz-I'm-proud America's Next Top Model fan. Tyra AND her Vajayjay got it goin' awn without a doubt (see pic above)! But I recently found this show which, although derivative, I feel eclipses the original in so many, many ways... Sorry, Tizzle...C-Town in da hizzle! More About: Tyra Banks
In Memoriam
2008-04-07 01:32:00 Kurt Donald Cobain, February 20, 1967 ? April 5, 1994 More About: In Memoriam
Heroes
2008-04-04 23:33:00 "This business of burning human beings with napalm, of filling our nation's homes with orphans and widows, of injecting poisonous drugs of hate into the veins of peoples normally humane, of sending men home from dark and bloody battlefields physically handicapped and psychologically deranged, cannot be reconciled with wisdom, justice, and love. A nation that continues year after year to spend more money on military defense than on programs of social uplift is approaching spiritual death."--Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr40 years ago today, the Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. was assassinated.Today there have been millions of words both written or spoken that have memorialized him in every concieveable way, so I won't attempt to summarize the life of a man who singularly had the most profound effect on my life and the lives of every member of the post-Vietnam generation. Were it not for his successful efforts to create change in a culture that abhorred it I, as a mixed-race in... More About: Heroes
Google Image Search: April Fools Day
2008-04-02 02:13:00 I HATE clowns! More About: Google , April , Search , Image , Google Image Search
Video Killed the Radio Star
2008-03-27 19:18:00 Since posting the Barack Obollywood video the other day, my inbox has been getting scads of messages linking other political vids that are out there. It would appear--Excuse me just one moment... HEY KEVIN S! RON PAUL IS NO LONGER A CANDIDATE! HE'S NOT IN THE RACE! QUIT EMAILING ME! WAKE UP AND FIND YOURSELF A NEW JESUS!Ok, sorry about that. I'm back.Apparently there is an entire cottage industry of presidential candidate supporters who are making these viral videos and putting them up on YouTube. And I thought 2 Girls 1 Cup pushed the medium as far as it could go! In the interest of fairness, I have posted all three candidates and what I judge to be the best efforts from their respective supporters herewith:OBAMA GIRLThe Madonna of the genre. Her latest effort calling on Mrs. Clinton to give up the ghost. It's like when you're drowning someone in the bathtub and they feel the need to kick and thrash about and get water all over the floor! I hate when that happens! It's ... More About: Video , Radio , Star , Killed
Barack Obollywood
2008-03-26 02:05:00 I just watched Shahrukh Khan in Paheli last nite so this really hits the spot. Thanks to the special ladies of SAWCC who sent this to me. Hey, you! Put on your bangle bracelets, shake it to the bhangra beat and make a $25 donation to our future! Click Here! Be a Winner! More About: Barack
...But Ugly is to the Bone!
2008-03-25 23:48:00 "Prithee, highness, doth the lewd bite of th' leech an' the prick of the barber's keen edge restoreth thine humours so?"Demi shares her beauty secret here. The Superficial shares Demi's beauty secret here. I've waded through many a swamp and come out with these little buggers stuck in every nook and cranny from the neck down that you can imagine (must be why my butt is so soft!) but I got news for GI Jane, her beauty secret is bullshit. All it takes to look as good as Demi Moore is lots and lots of money which as one of the Hollywood Elderly-l33t, she will see less and less of going forward. I guess she doesn't see that Art imitates Life: You're old enough to be your husband's mother, so therefore you are reading for parts that cast you as your husband's mother. Will someone get Ms. Moore a brain? Quickly!Her newfound secret ain't nothing new, either. Here is an excerpt from Micheal J. Cummings, The Complete Shakespeare:"For modern audiences, Shakespeare is a window o... More About: Ugly , Bone
'Twas then when the Hurdy Gurdy Man Came Singing Songs of Love
2008-03-25 18:38:00 I promised an update on some of the things on my mind from last week, but it really doesn't make sense right now to drag out the rusty old anti-war squeezebox and play another tune or two.I wonder just how much more this weary world can take?I will say that last week was the anniversary of the My Lai Massacre and you should go to my friends blog for a very good post on the subject here.And this country also hit the 5 year mark of it's illegal occupation and invasion of Iraq. I'm sure you all have heard enough about that.Also, the PBS series Frontline devoted an entire episode to the Haditha massacre, and in particular the role of the patrol leader Staff Sergeant Wuterich here. (Don't take the quiz, no one can ever get it right.) You may know that Woody was in my platoon as a fresh-faced pre-pubescent looking Private First Class and Lance Corporal back when I took over my first infantry command as a lieutenant in Kaneohe Bay, Hawaii nearly 10 years ago. You can find some of the... More About: Songs , Love , Singing
Craigslist is fun: Moving Edition
2008-03-25 14:53:00 Unbelieveable! Free to a good home: a home!Story here And here's another one a month earlier.Story here I'm always amazed at the ingenuity and inventiveness of folks who just flat out have an axe to grind. Back in the day you would put someones phone number on the bathroom stall at the all nite bowling alley. Nowadays there's the internet.My favroite biatch ho Razzy has an interesting firsthand account of being on the recieving end of such slander, but bear in mind that truth is the ultimate defense... More About: Moving , Craigslist , Edition
Happy E. Stir
2008-03-22 02:54:00 I've been too busy for updates this week(workin' for The Man every nite and day, as Tina would say), but so much has gone on that I really must catch up. Unfortunately I'll be out of pocket most of the weekend, so look for a mondo-update come Monday.Until then, have a safe and happy Easter holiday. More About: Happy
Halle Doin'?
2008-03-19 05:00:00 Now she's gone from being the hottest actress to being the hottest mom!Story Here Confessional: Halle Berry is my "Chuck-It-All Girl." Everyone has someone out there that if given the chance they would chuck it all and run away with them forever. I first saw her when she played Frank's wife, Debbie on Season 13 of Knots Landing, but decided she was chuck-it worthy when I saw her in Jungle Fever.Ever since then she has never left the top of my list.Halle and her former boytoy Billy Bob will be in Tulia together. Maybe they'll have another Monster's Ball.
Bargain Bear Hunters
2008-03-17 20:23:00 + = To my brethern at Bear Stearns I hope you make it through your Monday.And as we discussed last week over what could possibly be our last nite of bottle service in a long, long time: Fuck Loyalty. It's hard to hear sometimes, but it was much better advice for B/S shareholders than the verbal diarrhea that Cramer the Clown sprayed all over Mr. and Mrs. America like some scatalogical Jackson Pollack!Photobooth with Jim Cramer and Eliot Spitzer courtesy of Dealbreaker More About: Bargain , Hunters
Bondage, Bosses, MacBeth, Hookers and Falling Cranes
2008-03-16 17:08:00 Finally! A few moments to sit still for an update. BOTH my bosses were in town two consecutive weeks, so I've been embroiled in corporate numbercrunching, gossip and intrigue (aka "Networking") along with being tourguide and all around fun pimp. I took my boss and operations leader to The Delancy Friday nite to watch my favorite gals, Cheap Perfume play and make the rounds with all my other freinds. He held up well for a guy in his late 50s with a quadruple bypass under his broad belt. Afterwards we spent a few hours at Motor City then capped off the night with hotdogs and knishes at Papaya Dog. I think it will really give me a leg up when performance review time rolls around, dontcha think?The $1.99 Heartstopper special.All this fun amidst a week that's seen Spitzer quit (The Man gets his...Finally!), his fucktoy become a multi-millionaire, and the uncontrolled, unregulated, unsupervised, and unrestricted construction growth in this city cause a crane to drop 300 feet from t... More About: Hookers , Bondage
Any Landing You Can Walk Away From...
2008-03-04 05:39:00 ...is a good landing!I have buddies who fly fastmovers. They say landing on an aircraft carrier is one of the hardest things a pilot can do. One of my freinds likened it to running down the hall, doing a swan dive into your living room, sliding on your chest and coming to a stop with your nose touching the center of a postage stamp on the floor.Drunken "carrier quals" notwithstanding, NATOPS rule #1: If you call the ball and ain't gonna make it, you have one half second to point the nose away from the ship and throttle out. (Then worry if you have enough fuel for another approach!) Like this:The same idea worked for this pilot. He straightened the nose and punched it. The big difference? A commercial jetliner is like an 18-wheeler compared to a fighter (Audi TT maybe) and this guy just parallel parked it! Damn!Mar. 1 - A Lufthansa plane escapes disaster during a landing attempt in stormy weather. The flight had more than 130 passengers on board when it was pummelled by crosswind... More About: Walk , Landing
Inexperienced experience
2008-03-02 16:31:00 Much ado has been made in the current race for the democratic nomination about experience. Clinton has it, Obama doesn't. Clinton's experience qualifies her to be a political wonk, Obama's makes him a political hack, so on and so forth. But what really should be looked at is not the experiences (hell, I've experienced flying in a plane, but would you trust me to land that thing?) but the relevance and the results of that experience.So, Gentle Sunday Reader, I have taken the pains to look up in The Congressional Record the results of Clinton's and Obama's legislative experiences. It's up to you to decide how relevant they are in fixing the myriad problems our country faces going forward.First, Senator Barack Obama. Since entering the U.S. Senate, Senator Obama has written 890 bills and co-sponsored another 1096. There is a ton of info in The Record, so I'll categorize to simplify:During the 8 eight years of his elected service he sponsored over 820 bills. He introduced:-... More About: Experience
Love...Exciting and new!
2008-03-02 00:34:00 You would think that collectively, as a people, the WTC tragedy and 5 years of brutal war and occupation would have taught us something about the nature of violence, pain, forgiveness and redemption, but apparenty we have missed the boat, so to speak.Story HereInstead of using this steel to build new low income homes, playgrounds, hybrid cars or to shore up the failing infrastructure of this country, we pour 7.5 tons of it into a ship of war, designed to deliver men and materiel to whatever distant shores we choose to invade in the future. And to invite the 9-11 families to bawl over the ship like it's some kind of statuary or memorial is disgusting. This is a ship of war. It is not a floating memorial or something that embodies the spirit of 9-11. It is made to do one thing: to kill people. And I guarantee it will do just that. It will create more widows and orphans than the attacks on 9-11 ever did. 10 times more. 50 times more. 100 times more. And will that be enough to sa... More About: Love
Google Image Search vol 7
2008-02-29 23:58:00 "Leap" More About: Google , Search , Image , Google Image Search
Pirates of Penzance, No. 19: TRIO
2008-02-29 23:28:00 Today is Leap Day, February 29th. Although you don't hear much about it, this day is not a day without consequence. I look upon it with abject horror and gird myself with every available fetish and juju charm moreso than Friday the 13th. Don't believe me? Look up the reference in the title of this post here and you will see how horrific this date can be. It was to poor Frederic! The novelty of an added day every 4 years has produced many traditions and explanations as to the reason it exists. But being an ex-catholic and a divorcee, this one tradition carries enough gravitas to always makes me stay indoors on February 29th with a Netflix, a 40, and a Two Boots "Earth Mother" Pizza:Leap Day Traditions - No Man is Safe...While leap day helped official timekeepers, it also resulted in social customs turned upside down when February 29 became a "no man's land" without legal jurisdiction.As the story goes, the tradition of women romantically pursuing men in leap years began in 5th ... More About: Pirates , Trio
Buddy Miles, 1947-2008
2008-02-28 04:31:00 Another master has moved on and there is a much bigger hole in the center of the universe...(story here)One of my earliest musical memories is listening to a copy of Band of Gypsies (Hendrix's live New Years concert recorded at the Filmore East) and listening to Buddy Miles on the drums. After that I began banging on mom's pots and pans with wooden spoons and my die was cast. It was kindergarden. I vividly remember because my hippie teacher Miss Williams (I was so crushing on her it wasn't funny) used to play her own records on the classroom record player during our naptime, and before and after class. She also taught us TM and pranayama exercises. (Hey, all you parents out there shaking your heads, it was the 70s in the Bay Area. Whatdya expect? Baby Einstein?!?!?) Buddy's sense of timing, his groove, and his ability to play for the song were all early lessons I learned that became mighty influences in my playing. I remember showing my mother an album cover with Buddy Miles... More About: 2008
Thunderballed
2008-02-23 19:13:00 There's a man who leads a life of danger To everyone he meets he stays a stranger With every move he makes another chance he takes Odds are he won't live to see tomorrowI'm not much of a comic (comix) fan, but I love DangerGirl. I just got another one of J. Scott Campbell's fantastic compilations and have been enjoying it immensely. The comic reads like a detailed storyboard; heavy on the action and light on the dialogue. The story itself is a GI Joe meets Indiana Jones meets Austin Powers. The colors are bright, and the artwork is fantastic, although it isn't the kind of stuff you would use to explain anatomy to girls with body acceptance issues. It fits the campy, over-the-top, supersexy theme, though: Long legs, round hips, tight asses, no ribs and enormous breats that defy gravity all work for me...In the context of the book, of course. Ahem...It's not such a departure for me. As I kid I used to read my mother's Robert Ludum books and always enjoyed Sherlock Holmes myste...
Freudian Missiles and Freudian Cigars.
2008-02-20 21:03:00 A freind of mine sent me this email today:Does anyone else have an uneasy feeling about that fact that our multi-billion dollar missile defense system missed its first window of opportunity to shoot down the satellite falling out of orbit due to weather? I?m not military strategist but if I were other countries I am pretty sure I would make a note in my procedures to wait until there is bad weather over the Pacific before I launch a strike.Story here I replied:Good point, Doug. It's obvious that the military just wanted to be sure be sure they hit it. The US is a bully and bullies only fight when they can win (I remember the phrase, "at a time and place of our choosing"...). This was a Show of farce...I mean force. Its a Dog and Pony show directed at both China and the US. China shot one down this time last year and the military has since declared that China's missile technology makes it a direct military threat to the US that we will need to counter blow for blow (read: Doll... More About: Missiles , Cigars
Musical Interlude: Hangover Edition
2008-02-18 08:59:00 UHHHHHHHHH...[EDIT: I was so hungover I didn't realize that Sunday had already turned into Monday...Yeesh!] More About: Musical , Hangover , Edition
Google Image Search vol 6
2008-02-16 09:33:00 Crack Baby More About: Google , Search , Image , Google Image Search
Tagged!
2008-02-16 08:30:00 Plain Jane over at Mundane Harangue tagged me, and since I am an attention whore (even if it requires me to work for it) I'm all over it!This tag is called Open Book and here are the rules:1. Pick up the nearest book.2. Open it to page 123.3. Find the fifth sentence/phrase.4. Blog the next four sentences/phrases along with these instructions.5. Don't dig through your shelves for that very special or intellectual book!6. And, when you're done, tag your friendsWell, shit fire and save the matches! If I would have been tagged with this a few years ago when I was the struggling literary NYC Bohemian-type it would have been much easier. Since I've gotten a great day job and settled into life in the NY Rock scene, I'm far less likely to have anything interesting within arms reach. Usually a copy of New York Waste, or the tab book I'm putting together on Jerry Nolan's drum parts while he was with The New York Dolls...As I write this now there are 2 books the same distance from eithe... More About: Tagged
Destined for Greatness vol 3
2008-02-16 03:47:00 Finally! An ad written with me in mind:DRUNK DRUMMER WANTED----------------------------------- ----------------------------------------- ----Reply to: comm-575337840@craigslist.orgDate: 2008-02-15, 5:51PM ESTfor loud post punk rock type of shit. it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interestsPostingID: 575337840
The Fat Lady is Singing!
2008-02-16 01:38:00 A great recap on Salon.com of the WGA David vs. Goliath saga that will come to an end as soon as the new 3 year contract is ratified any day now.The power of collective bargaining has once again been proven in one of the most writer-unfriendly industries in the world.Congrats, my brothers and sisters! Solidarity!Fuck The Man! More About: Lady , Singing
The Way We Were...
2008-02-15 19:16:00 An interesting 1930s historic recording video from YouTube. Of particular interest is a glimpse inside a studio gig with Duke Ellington.We've come a long way from the days of analog, shellac, copper plating and 78 RPMs...
Destined for Greatness vol 2
2008-02-15 18:34:00 Yet another band on the fast track to both commercial success and the satisfaction that comes from creating beautiful music in a collaborative atmosphere filled with mutual respect and understanding:WHITE LOBSTER NEEDS A DRUMMER FOR ROCK BAND, BITCHEZ!--------------------------------- ----------------------------------------- ------Reply to: comm-571987954@craigslist.orgDate: 2008-02-12, 5:07PM ESTWhite Lobster aka La Langosta Blanca is looking for a skilled drummer to add into our mix of extremely talented musicians. You should not be a fucking douchebag. Other requirements: Know how to rock properly. Have mad nice drum skillz. Be able to do lines while drumming. Be able to drink a fuckload. If you had a vagina and looked good, that would not suck. Be able to fuck shit up. That is all. Holler at us if you don't suck.
Happy Valentines Day
More articles from this author:2008-02-15 00:47:00 I betcha the fact that I find this clip hilarious is one of the reasons I sleep alone... More About: Valentines Day , Happy , Valentines 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 |
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