skinbeatergreg skinbeatergreg Stories from The Big City as told by a daytime suit and a nighttime drummer. Articles
Thumb Twiddling
2008-01-14 19:09:00 Thanks to all of you Dear Readers who emailed me and posted comments while I was gone bitching and moaning about having nothing to do until I returned, leaving without saying goodbye, pulling chocks, etc. I feel the love. Really.A special thanks to my brand new BFF who sent me text messages all hours of the day and nite. Yes, you're funny. [SLOWLY BACKING UP] Yes, you are very nice. [DIALING 911 ON CELL] Yes, I would like to meet you when I get back to NYC. [WATCHING YOU PALM A STEAK KNIFE FROM DINING TABLE] Yes, your breakups were not your fault [BUMPING AGAINST LOCKED DOOR] Yes, YES! YESSS!! YEEEEESSS!!!! AAAAUUUGGHHHH!!!!!!! [SLOWLY SLIDING TO THE FLOOR IN FETAL POSITION]Anyhoo, I'm back in town washing the sand from my buttcrack and nursing the rugburns on my knees. I apologize; I'm still trying to clear all that crazy corporatespeak* from my brain, so my writing is a little discombobualted.*(worst corporatespeak word of the week? "Glolocalization"--too boring to even link)... More About: Thumb
Where's the Skinbeater?
2008-01-11 13:13:00 I'm in Get it? Sandy Eggo...San Diego?Anyone? Beuller? Beuller?Thanks to the bartener at The Sandbar for showing me the ropes!I love my job!!! More About: The Man
DrunkBlog
2008-01-05 09:16:00 hey dear readr--a litttl too mudh good times tonite to tyhpe.i hav your number but xant rememmber th name...shit!Oh well, I wish it woud be "alwasy saturday:V
SBG Groovy Moovys: Extended Edition
2008-01-05 03:04:00 Saw lots of flicks since my last installment, including a doubleshot of Guillermo del Toro. Let me know what you thought of these: More About: Groovy , Edition , Extended
Thanks, but no thanks
2008-01-04 04:38:00 Them: "You were in the military?"Me: "Yes."Them: "Which one? What were you?"Me: "The Marines. An infantryman."Them: "Were you in combat?"Me: "Yes."Them: "Thank you for your service."1) If you ever voted for George Bush or voted to re-elect George Bush, don't thank me for my service.2) Unless you've called, emailed AND written all your representatives asking why they continue to fund an illegal occupation that has turned the entire military into international war criminals, don't thank me for my service.3) Unless you have found a local family with a parent deployed and cooked them a meal, babysat their kids, done their laundry, mowed their yard, or showed up at their door with a car full of groceries, don't thank me for my service.4) Unless you have attended rallies or fundraisers and asked the current candidates hard questions about ending the occupation and bringing the troops home, don't thank me for my service.5) Unless you have volunteered your time at the local VA and help...
Hai!
2008-01-02 21:23:00 I ran across these Zuiikin' English videos while looking for some language instructional videos on youtube. These videos explain why every Japanese tourist I run into on St Marks is jumping around while asking me "Where is it the BAMN to please?"I lived in Japan for almost 2 years and am a HUGE fan of Japanese pop culture, particularly JPop music. But I find elements of contemporary Japan quite disturbing.Despite outward appearances, the cultural gap between Japan and the US is immense, and the Japanese are driven to participate in all things western. Whether or not they actually process the experience and draw meaning from it is usually irrelevant. They are compelled to DO, not UNDERSTAND and thus more often than not become the embodiment of the stereotypical (my asian friends call them "fobby") Japanese Tourist (note: Fobbiness is usually indicated by any combination of thrown up peace sign, fake smile or blowjob face.)The Zuiikin English videos are scenario based and provide a...
Musical Interlude: New Years Edition
2008-01-01 16:08:00 Happy 2008! It's going to be a FABULOUS year! More About: Musical , Years , Edition , New Years
Not Prince Hamlet
2007-12-31 22:30:00 Happy New Years Eve, y'all! (I learned a new word while down in Georgia...)I shant be particpating in the Times Square Throng this year (NYE 04...Never again!), or standing nut to butt while being groped in a Model and Bottle club (NYE 05), or party-hopping (literally from rooftop to rooftop) in Thrilliamsburg (NYE 06). No, I decided to downsize the party this year. I am getting ready for a nice dinner at Angelica's Kitchen with some veggie friends then it's off to another small private gathering with a little bit of booze and buddies.When 2008 hits it's likely that I'll alone and wandering the streets of my favorite city watching the silver-grey clouds as they slip silently past the tenement cornices and breathing in the cold winter air that makes my boogersnot freeze. Let us go then, you and I,When the evening is spread out against the skyLike a patient etherized upon a table;Let us go, through certain half-deserted streets,The muttering retreatsOf restless nights in on... More About: Prince , Hamlet
Surge Shampoo Really Works!
2007-12-27 05:18:00 More evidence here that the lives of my buddies are being washed down the drain...4 years later and you can't even get a haircut! Sheesh! More About: Works , Surge , Shampoo , Urge
Christmas Rolls
2007-12-26 19:11:00 I am at my Sainted Mother's office this afternoon and found a logged in computer! (Hooray! Civilization!) So I was going to give y'all an update on my Georgia Xmas comings and goings, but it appears we need to leave in a few minutes. Mother has a giftcard burning a hole in her pocket and the mall is calling...(For the love of God! Not the mall again! Someone please help me!)Oh. Mother has just informed me we will be going to the Outlets in Commerce. A small reprieve.Since I've done nothing but eat since arriving here a week ago (see top of post of a picture of me in the bath yesterday), it makes sense that I find this the most compelling Xmas story in the news:Zoo Probes Deadly Tiger MaulingI don't know what folks expect when you take a 1/4 ton cat and put him in a cage. It's only a matter of time before it gets out and Shere Kahn's someone's ass! Yummy!Even Siegfried's boytoy Roy Horn got his comeuppance back in 2004! (Although Roy believes that the tiger saved his life.... More About: Christmas
Merry Glad Yule Tidings of Joyful Good Happy Cheer
2007-12-20 21:00:00 I just put up my Out of Office message, so it's official: I'm on vacation! First one in YEARS!I'm spending the holidays with my Sainted Mother down in the hinterlands of Georgia. My flight to the ATL is tonite, and I still have to pick up my laundry and pack! I'm SO good at this non-work stuff--I think it's called "life", but I'm not sure... I'm taking a wild guess and hoping they've got wireless down there so I can keep abreast (great word) of real world happenings. But if I happen to wind up in a digital black hole, let me take the time now to wish you, Dear Reader, the happiest of holidays! More About: Cheer , Happy , Good , Yule , Merry
Holiday Gifts I Don't Want vol 5
2007-12-20 02:30:00 To help celebrate the newly passed MTA fare hike, I bring you a special MTA Edition of HGIDW. With these new fare hikes, you might want to save this post for gift ideas next year.--sbgThe MetroCard MiniMetroCocktail DressDIY MetroChristmas OrnamentMetroBikeMetroplayingCards (great for 52 Card Pickup!)MetroWallet (larger size for higher fares)MetroPythonMetroConEd CostumeMetroChrist on a Cross**(MetroTerrence and MetroPhillip Farting Doll sold separately) More About: Holiday , Gifts
Bah, Humbug!
2007-12-20 01:44:00 Oh! but he was a tight-fisted hand at the grindstone, Scrooge! A squeezing, wrenching, grasping, scraping, clutching, covetous old sinner! 'Tis the season to be giving, and H. Dale Hemmerdinger (yes, his real name) and the MTA Board has given it right up the butt of every (metro)card carrying New Yorker by voting to raise fares for the third time since 2003 (with no improvements in services).I am sure I have always thought of Christmas time, when it has come round -- apart from the veneration due to its sacred name and origin, if anything belonging to it can be apart from that -- as a good time; a kind, forgiving, charitable, pleasant time: the only time I know of, in the long calendar of the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely, and to think of people below them as if they really were fellow-passengers to the grave, and not another race of creatures bound on other journeys. And therefore, uncle, though it has never put a scrap of gold or... More About: The Man
Train Wreck
2007-12-18 20:30:00 Speaking of stoner rock...AP LONDON - Singer Amy Winehouse was arrested Tuesday on suspicion of attempting to interfere with a court case involving her husband. Winehouse, 24, recently canceled all concerts and public appearances for the rest of the year on doctor's orders.Winehouse, an admitted marijuana smoker, has been dogged by reports of continued drug use amid a flurry of canceled concert dates. She was recently spotted walking outside of her London home wearing a bra and jeans, with no shoes, looking distressed.------------It's always amazed me when musicians forget they are entertainers. Sure, there's the whole Sex, Drugs and Rock and Roll bit, but when you are too hammered to even make it through a set you are really shitting all over the people who care enough about your creative talent to attend (and spend money) on seeing you perform.To see more of Amy Wine-o House, go to youtube and search "Winehouse drunk". You can watch close to 150 clips of this sodden songstress... More About: Train , Wreck
Destined for Greatness
2007-12-18 15:14:00 These guys are on the fast track to New Jersey rock and roll fame:STONER ROCK BAND LOOKING TO RE-GROUP-GUITARIST NEEDED----------------------------------- ----------------------------------------- ----Reply to: comm-502153731@craigslist.orgDate: 2007-12-07, 6:43PM ESTMy guitarist is in jail, my drummer is going to detox. So I'm basically screwed for the time being. Right now, I'm really looking for a new lead guitarist, but would be open to jamming with new drummers, since the one I have is simply just a jack-ass. We play all original material, mostly instrumentals. Our sound has been described variously as "The Ramones playing James Brown" or "Futuristic Oldies Music" (still trying to figure that one out) Our influences are: Queens of the Stone Age, Kyuss, Monster Magnet, Black Sabbath, Parliament-Funkadelic, Bitches Brew era Miles Davis and ZZ Top. I'm looking for a guitarist who can enhance the groove that the bass & drums lay down, not play a million notes and distract from the...
Hecho en Queens
2007-12-17 23:31:00 Yesterday I make the trek out to the Queens Museum of Art. Braving Nor'easter predictions (that never came to fruition), my partner and I helped celebrate the opening of our friend Jaishri's first solo exhibition, Reconciliation. Really great stuff. The juxtaposition of the architecture and environment of seemingly disparate locations revealed the similarities and commonalities of different peoples, showing what could be if they could find reconciliation. The images also compel the viewer to become engaged and solve the riddles they present, thereby reconciling the images themselves to bring them into focus. An architectural Single-State Solution in JerusalemRamallah; the glitter of unrestrained greed found in NewYorkTokyo; the triumph of communist concrete in HavanaPyongyangHighly recommended. Go check it out!After the exhibition, I was wandering around the museum and walked into a darkened room and found the most amazing thing: a 1:1200 scale panorama of New York City--all l...
Google Image Search vol 5
2007-12-17 07:27:00 McDonalds More About: Google , Search , Image , Google Image Search
Musical Interlude vol 3
2007-12-16 08:50:00 I LOVE EuroPop, and I LOVE Gunther! Umlauts are so sexy...Seriously, I think I saw this guy at Marquee last weekend. Check out this non-holiday Gunther eurotrashy classic.Ausgezeichnet! More About: Musical
Homework
2007-12-15 18:08:00 It was a stupid creative writing assignment. The kind designed to make the students feel they have the capacity for creative thought and supposed to give the teacher some ?insight? into his pupils. Mr. Fitzgerald had written it on the board yesterday almost as an afterthought right before the bell rang.Keith had endured many such tasks in his 11 years of formal education, and had managed to elude the thought police; not writing anything too good as to belie his inner voice, nor anything too personal as to betray his inner self.Keith found that he spent much of his time with his inner self. Today he had eaten his Frosted Flakes alone, and heard his voice speaking of music and snow and girls as he left the house and cut across the yard towards school.He had been getting himself off to school ?like a big boy? since his mother started working 7 years ago. That was back when the term ?latchkey kid? wasn?t around. Back when his parents? divorce had sent waves of murmuring and furtive glan... More About: Homework
Come On Down!
2007-12-15 06:45:00 LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - The price was all wrong for one contestant on "ThePrice Is Right," who claims the TV game show and its authorized auto dealershiptried to pass off a rehabilitated wreck as a new car she won.Donna Tillman said she won the 2004 Pontiac GTO Coupe during her June 28, 2004, appearance on the game show. But she was told after she paid the taxes and license fees that the vehicle that appeared on the stage had mechanical problems, according to a lawsuit filed on Thursday in Los Angeles.When the car was delivered about eight weeks later, it was not the model that had been displayed on the show and it had more miles on the odometer than the car she had been promised.Several months later when Tillman took her prize for a service at a dealership in her hometown of Puyallup, Washington, she learned the car had major damage to its frame that had been repaired and concealed, the lawsuit said.Lawsuits? Lies? Coverups? Bad blood? Whatever happened to the good old days of ...
Holiday Gifts I Don't Want vol 4
2007-12-14 17:53:00 The Peter Petrie Egg Separator Available at one of my favorite online prison crafts stores here.I love to cook and am a HUGE kitchen gadget addict. I have been known to spend hours in and out of those restauraunt supply stores on Bowery, or rummaging through funky SoHo boutiques looking for acrylic spaceman corn cob holders, or touching everything in the "Wall O' Gadgets" bins at Williams Sonoma.I just bought the perfect garlic press a few days ago. Ah...Bliss!But, dude...Come on. This is just too much. Here he is in actionEWWW! It looks like a coffee mug, but it "snot"! [RIMSHOT] More About: Holiday , Gifts
Holiday Giving YahooPersonal Style
2007-12-13 03:33:00 Yahoo asked the degenerates at YahooPersonals for advice when it comes to giving gifts to your significant other. Now, common sense would tell you that the audience sampled for this poll PROBABLY aren't the most experienced folks in giving great gifts or in making a fellow human being happy, thus their need to be a user of an internet dating website.And when has "gifting" entered the holiday nomenclature? (Never mind. If we're saying "w00t" now, I guess it's a freaking grammatical free-for-all!) I always GAVE people gifts and experienced the joy of GIVING. A gift is a NOUN, not a VERB. It cannot be conjugated (remember this, all you people who want to "MySpace me")!I'm a GREAT gift giver. I'm extremely generous (to a fault I've been told) and I love shopping and love giving people stuff--sometimes the gift is lavish, sometimes it is simple, but it always says something about what that person means to me. But be that as it may, here are the disfunctional YahooPerson... More About: Holiday , Style , Giving
And They're Off!
2007-12-12 21:14:00 The finale of America's Next Top Model is tonight, and all will be revealed...So best nobody better try and blow my cellie up when the Ty-ray-ray is awn!(Sorry, I was channeling Oprah from the other day...)Typically, as with most reality show final episodes, ANTM is a little like a standardized test: Pick the response that BEST answers the question. Since none of these really make the cut, I'm going with the best of the three finalists. And the nominees are:ChantalSaleishaJenahAnd the Official Skinbeater Selection is:Yeah. My choice suprises even me. I'm not much into the California Beach Bunny Bleethed Out Douchebagette look. I like my women like my coffee: Dark and bitter!At any rate, the best thing I can say about this season is, IT'S OVER! Better luck next year! More About: Tyra Banks
Google Image Search vol 4
2007-12-12 06:18:00 w00t! More About: Google , Search , Image , Google Image Search
In the Beginning...
2007-12-12 04:37:00 Merriam-Webster has announced the much awaited Word of the Year for 2007. It's a word that I think reflects the true nature of where we are as a people--Nay, as a civilation as a whole. It encompasses the human drama of athletic competition as well as the rush of glory that sweetly overcomes us when basking in victory.This word? This amazing product of thousands of years of civilization and written communication? This word that speaks to our souls? This word of the year for 2007 is:'w00t'Sweet mother of god, what did we do to deserve this?-------------By STEPHANIE REITZ, Associated Press Writer Tue Dec 11, 5:55 PM ET SPRINGFIELD, Mass. - Expect cheers among hardcore online game enthusiasts when they learn Merriam-Webster's Word of the Year. Or, more accurately, expect them to "w00t." "W00t," a hybrid of letters and numbers used by gamers as an exclamation of happiness or triumph, topped all other terms in the Springfield-based dictionary publisher's online poll for the word... More About: In the beginning
Thoughts After Sex
More articles from this author:2007-12-11 05:22:00 I don't believe that Good and Evil are cosmic forces engaged in an eternal struggle, as so many fantasy stories (Star Wars, The Lord of the Rings, the Bible, White House press releases, etc.) keep proclaiming. They are mostly the doings of simple humans going about their arbitrary business within their own flawed man-made institutions. Morality is the byproduct of social adaptation. Those that fall outside the norm are criminals, lunatics and Evildoers, while those of us who navigate the maze with fewer mistakes are thought of as successful. Just because the rat figures out the Skinnerbox doesn?t mean it ceases to be a rat. I'm sure no one is looking forward to facing the realities we all are doomed to have to face when once we reach the culmination of our lives. I for one am certainly glad to know that's all still a few years away. And who knows, maybe it won't be so terrible by the time we get to around to throwing on some old Kansas record or whatever we have left of our... More About: Thoughts 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 |
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