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Trinkets, Treasures, and Thank Yous....
2008-01-16 20:24:00
Much thanks to Nick of Personal Paranoia and Strange Corridor for finding and customizing a delightful "Crystal Ball" feature for my blog! It's such a blast, I played with it for hours last night, giggling, clapping, and gasping at the results! I love the new "trinket and treasure" and hope you'll have fun with it, too. You can find it in my sidebar under my profile. Thank you, Nick!Spent some time this morning catching up with a few favorites, which included a visit to Coffee Sister's blog, Drink Deeply! Oh, the treasures I found there this morning! She'd posted a few personality profile tests, as well as a fun quiz for finding your quote. I've posted the personality test results in my sidebar - but not before deeply pondering the timing and purpose of the discovery. This helps with my process of rediscovering myself. But as for the quote quiz, here's the results I received, which I think are both timely and accurate for my current state of mind. Thanks, Coffee Siste...
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Unchained Thoughts
2008-01-15 07:19:00
It's been a while...and it'll likely take me much longer than usual to get these thoughts out of my head and into words as my thumb is still in wicked shape. But, the thoughts are here, they want to come out, and so I'll peck my way across the keyboard until I've either exhausted the thoughts, or have become too frustrated to keep semi-typing. I'm accustomed to typing between 80-120 words per minute, so this one key at a time crap could get real old real fast (*smirk*).The thumb. It was supposed to take one week to heal...stitches in on Sunday, December 30th; have stitches removed one week later on Sunday, January 6th. No such luck.When I first got hurt, I didn't even want to know how bad the wound was. When I regained consciousness, one of the first things I said to the manager was, "Don't tell me, and don't let anyone else tell me." They all thought it was comical that I refused to acknowledge the severity of it, but I knew I couldn't handle the knowing. Even at the hospi...
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Mystic Vision
2008-01-02 17:19:00
TuesdayJanuary 1st, 2008The mystic vision I had regarding my addiction isn't the first time I've had a premonition. In fact, I've had several premonitions in my life time, occurring in various forms. They aren't always immediately clear. Sometimes they come in the form of dream that needs to be de-coded. Sometimes it's a feeling of deja vu, or the awareness can come in flashes of synchronicity...A license plate that "glows", a song that holds a certain "echo". I'm thirty five years old now and have been experiencing these mystic visions all of my life and I still don't have a firm grasp on how or why they happen...but because I know I've experienced such things all my life, I've learned to trust them.The premonition regarding Mary Jane was a bit different. It came in segments, small awarenesses that I tried to ignore calling it paranoia or coincidence. The first "flash" came when I was talking to my mother about the cravings and how I plan to put in a call. Yes, my mother k...
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Enchantmonths - The Magick of January
2008-01-02 01:28:00
Relax in your inner sanctuary, a garden of tranquility and peace. As you nestle into your innermost being, breathe in the enchanted scents of carnation, marjoram, and holy thistle. As you breathe in, feel yourself filling with uplifting energy, strength, and balance. Know that you are protected here and take in the healing energies.Exhale. Let go of negativity while embracing the memory of divinity and learned experiences of yesteryear, without guilt or fear of self-imposed punishment. Enjoy the tranquility that comes from being surrounded by pinecones, nuts, crocus, and snowdrop.Inhale the scents of sage, musk, and mimosa while swaying in the kaleidoscope of white, blue, and violet colors amidst a black canvas of Universal wisdom. Follow the stepping stones in your path as they appear to you now in the form of garnet, jet, onyx, and chrysoprase.Exhale. As the chaos of recent holiday festivities fades into the shadows of the past, give your Self permission to be tired, in need of re...
More About: January , Magick , Mont

A Dance With Mary Jane
2008-01-01 07:01:00
Monday12/31/07Before I can go into too much more about looking forward to 2008, I must be honest about one more thing 2007 represented.Endings are often seen as a bad thing, but there are some endings that are cause for celebration. I am proud to say that 2007 saw the end of a thirteen year addiction. Growing up in Las Vegas, Nevada - and having chosen a career as a bartender - I was constantly exposed to a plethora of temptations. Though I experimented a bit with a variety of mind altering substances, I was able to walk away from most of them after one or two trial runs, knowing that the high was really a low. However, I had an entirely different reaction to marijuana. One dance with Mary Jane under the "right circumstances", and I knew I'd found my drug of choice.I was able to justify my addiction in a multitude of ways. Of all the drugs I've been exposed to in my time, marijuana seemed by far the least harmful. I considered it to be an all natural herbal remedy for a condition ...
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Spilled Blood
2007-12-31 16:28:00
SundayDecember 30, 2007Suffice as to say that 2007 held one final surprise. Tragedy has a strange way of jolting a person out of one reality and into another. Dimension hopping...A stroke of fate, a change in destiny. Blood has been spilled.The day unfolded as any other, stop short of the fact that I took time this morning to write a love letter on a simple note card from the break room at work before my shift started...The beginning of unspoken, unbroken promises.Clocking in five minutes early, I set to task with a mission of improving myself, even if only by a little. While I'm all too familiar with the efficient routine of food server, I've recently decided to expand my experience and potential by cross training as a prep cook.I went through two half days of training, then was set loose on my own. Today was my fourth solo shift...And I wanted it to count. Though my first three shifts weren't bad, they also weren't competent. By the end of each shift, they were still several t...

A Year Ends...
2007-12-31 16:06:00
Dut to reasons that will be explained shortly, this post and those following are being typed by Nick from Personal Paranoia and Strange Corridor...He is taking dictation for me by phone, so these are my words and his typing.These are being hand written in a diary I've stated for 2008Saturday12/29/07There's not much left of 2007 except a short amount of time for reflection. This has been one of my more difficult years, and one I did not record in hand written journals. In 2007 I turned 35. My eldest child who I'll refer to as Atlas turned 19. My middle child now known as Rhythm turned 16. The third child, the baby, who I call Stinkerbelle, completes her thirteenth year and prepares for her fourteenth birthday in January. How fast they've grown before my very eyes. 2007 saw the end of a marriage, the dissipation of friendships, dying dreams, and a broken spirit. But it also introduced me to true love, saw old embers of friendship renewed, and created a springboard for rebirth.I'v...
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Away...
2007-12-28 14:43:00
I do believe it's time for me to take a break... I've got some soul-searching to do.*Sparky*

Musical Meditations - Don't Cry Out Loud - Melissa Manchester
2007-12-27 17:40:00
Don't Cry Out Loud by Melissa Manchester Baby cried the day the circus came to town'cause she didn't want parades just passin' by herSo she painted on a smile and took up with some clownWhile she danced without a net upon the wireI know a lot about 'er 'cause, you seeBaby is an awful lot like meDon't cry out loudJust keep it inside, learn how to hide your feelingsFly high and proudAnd if you should fall, remember you almost had it allBaby saw that when they pulled that big top downThey left behind her dreams among the litterThe different kind of love she thought she'd foundThere was nothin' left but sawdust and some glitterBut baby can't be broken 'cause you seeShe had the finest teacher-that was me-I told 'erDon't cry out loudJust keep it inside and learn how to hide your feelingsFly high and proudAnd if you should fall, remember you almost had it allDon't cry out loudJust keep it inside and learn how to hide your feelingsFly high and proudAnd if you should fall, remem...
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Understanding...
2007-12-27 15:40:00
Granted, the thoughts I'd displayed here regarding Christmas were a tad on the gloomy side. Yeah, more than a tad, I know. But there's something I feel obligated to explain here.This blog is a safety zone for me, a place where I can put my thoughts - the good, bad, the ugly, the insane, the profound, the poetic, the loving, the maternal, the monotonous, the mundane, the magickal... all of my thoughts -- without concern as to whether or not my thoughts and feelings are right, wrong, socially acceptable, or "pleasant". Some days I laugh, some days I cry.I write what I write because I feel compelled to let the thoughts out rather than keep them in, regardless of how ugly they may seem to the reader. The reason I do this is so the thoughts are out... meaning I no longer have to carry them around inside, allowing them to fester and swell. In regard to Christmas, I let the cynicism out here so that it wouldn't cast a shadow over the holiday for my children. I had to have somewhere to "...
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... not a creature was stirring...
2007-12-25 12:20:00
I'm not sure why I'm awake just now, really. Quarter after five in the morning, and you'd think after the schedule I pulled off this week, coupled with the amount of drinking I did last night, I'd be passed out in a semi-coma 'til well after sunrise. Such is not the case. Here I sit, prisoner of my own thoughts on Christmas morning, waiting for the sun to shine down on me.Found my Comfort the Southern way last night, something I've not done in many moons. I felt it brewing for quite some time, the need to tie one on and let loose the tears and frustration I've been carrying. Gives Holiday Spirit an all new meaning. But, there was a method to my madness, in Sparky fashion. Mom bought wine for Christmas and I knew I'd get tipsy, and I figured if I was going to be an ugly, sad drunk, it'd be best to be that way in semi-solitude the night before rather than get her Christmas soggy with my depression. So, I drank a pre-drunk drink (or six) and let the ugly out, surrendered to it...
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Scared Awake - Home Invasion!!
2007-12-23 10:28:00
The night was slightly different than most, I'll give you that. Rather than staying up 'til the wee hours of the morning, I choked down my night time cold medicine like a good little girl and crashed before 9 p.m., knowing I've got a fourteen hour day ahead of me at work, doubling back at 8 a.m. Monday morning. Already sick and pushed beyond my limits, I knew not to push anymore, so I bid goodnight to my true love, wrapped myself in my blankie, cuddled up with my pillows, and off to dreamland I went.I woke once at ten p.m., slightly startled and fearing I was late for work. Night time medicine will do that to ya. But, in no time, I drifted again into dreams. Dreams were strange and plenty. I was travelling... both astrally and subconsciously as my dreams found me journeying over the Grand Canyon. Ghosts of my past haunted me as I found my dream self abandoned on a road-side, not knowing how to find my way home. Heaven only knows how long I actually dreamed, floating on luc...
More About: Home , Scared , Invasion , Awake

Which of Santa's Reindeer Are You?
2007-12-21 15:43:00
You Are CometA total daredevil, you're the reindeer with an edge!Why You're Naughty: You almost gave Santa a heart attack when you took him sky divingWhy You're Nice: You always make sure the sleigh is going warp speedWhich of Santa's Reindeer Are You?

Musical Meditations - Send Your Love - Sting
2007-12-21 15:26:00
Send Your Love by Sting Finding the world in the smallness of a grain of sandAnd holding infinities in the palm of your handAnd Heaven's realms in the seedlings of this tiny flowerAnd eternities in the space of a single hourSend your love into the futureSend your love into the distant dawnInside your mind is a relay stationA mission probe into the unknowingWe send a seed to a distant futureThen we can watch the galaxies growingThis ain't no time for doubting your powerThis ain't no time for hiding your careYou're climbing down from an ivory towerYou've got a stake in the world we ought to shareYou see the stars are moving so slowlyBut still the earth is moving so fastCan't you see the moon is so lonelyShe's still trapped in the pain of the pastThis is the time of the worlds collidingThis is the time of kingdoms fallingThis is the time of the worlds dividingTime to heed your callSend your love into the futureSend your precious love into some distant timeAnd fix that wounded pla...
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Double Ugh...
2007-12-21 14:53:00
Well, here it is Friday already. I worked my double on Sunday, again on Monday, then was sick as sick could be on Tuesday. Went in Wednesday to work a short shift (short being 7 hours without a break), then came home and passed out on the couch, where I remained until now. And now? I'm up, having coffee, thinking of the day ahead and the days I've left behind.Wednesday was horrid. I worked in the kitchen as a prep cook on my own. It was my second solo shift as Sunday turned out to be not a training day as I'd suspected, but my first day on my own. Sunday wasn't so bad because they kept my list light. When I felt I wasn't going to have time to finish everything on my chart, I notified the manager and they sent in assistance. I wasn't so lucky Wednesday... I made a few minor mistakes that I didn't become aware of until after I'd already left. I ended up having nightmares about them. I was going to go in yesterday to pick up my check and new schedule, but felt so bad...
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Ugh...
2007-12-19 11:40:00
It's gonna be a quickie...Did thirteen and a half hours on Sunday, backed up by another twelve and a half on Monday. Was looking forward to my Tuesday off, but woke up Tuesday morning sicker than a dog. Laid in bed most of the day, managing only to wash uniforms and take the kids to the grocery store for the bare minimum groceries. Got "drunk" on night time cold medicine and passed out... and here it is 4:45 a.m. and I'm up, sipping coffee, preparing for another day. At least it's a short one... 7:30 a.m. - 2:00 p.m. in prep, no serving. Off tomorrow, then 1-8 p.m. Friday.Kids go on holiday break starting tomorrow; today is their last day.Will write more later when things have settled and I feel better.*Sparky*

Oooh, Snap! Tagged again! - Crazy 8
2007-12-14 02:24:00
Summerwitch at Summerland has done the honor of tagging me with the Crazy 8.1. 8 things I'm passionate aboutBeing a mom Loving my manMy puppy palsFaeriesMagickWritingNatureMusic (*newly found fascination)2. 8 things I say often GroovyI know, right?Shut up!Nunh unhYou betAre you ready to order?I don't understandI love you3. 8 books I've read recentlyWell, I don't have time to read quite the way I'd like, but I do have books I "use" often or refer to in research, so that'll have to do:Animal Speak by Ted AndrewsAnimal Magick by D.J. ConwayA Witch's Guide to Faery Folk by Edain McCoyEnchantments of the Faery Realm by D.J. ConwayA Witch's Book of Dreams by Karri AllrichMoon Magick by D.J. Conway*Ishmael by Daniel Quinn*Conversations with God by Neale Donald Walsch* The last two are among my top favorite "fiction" books of all time4. 8 things to do before I dieThis one is classified, top secret... Finish my historical fiction trilogy and see it to publication.Start and finish a q...
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A Star is Born
2007-12-14 00:05:00
The company I work for is one of the rare few who offer food servers promotions. We work on a tier system, each level earning a "star". New servers are known as, well, we'll say "Shining Star s" for the first 30 days, then take a test to earn their first star and a nickel an hour raise. Then, they have to put in another four months before they're eligible for their next test that could earn them another star and another nickel an hour. Six monts after that, we can test for level 3, and 7 months later, we max out at four stars. Prior to taking each level test, we also have to pass an evaluation. There are other benefits as well, such as employee discount increasing, holiday bonuses being higher (my holiday bonus this year, no joke, was a ten dollar gift card for the company retail shop), and employee insurance being cheaper. Today, although it was my day off, I spent five hours in the training center taking tests. The company recently re-did their training systems and in orde...

Dimensional Intersection
2007-12-12 17:02:00
I'm not sure where my thoughts are this morning.As usual, the dogs woke me early. When the kids leave for school, the two little dogs, Honey and Beltane, cuddle up to me for comfort. Bella Beltane burrows under the blanky and tucks herself between my ankles, licking my feet. Honey bunches rolls herself into a ball on my tummy, then groans and huffs as if impatient for me to wake and pay her some attention. The big dogs behave... Sirius lays himself on the floor just below me, and Odin finds a comfy spot anywhere in the room from which he just stares at me with a lonely expression.I followed the usual morning routine... brew coffee, put in a load of laundry, check email, and bounce around to a few blogs of choice - but even still, I felt "absent". My body is present and accounted for, but my mind is out wandering somewhere, probably holding up a cardboard sign at some dimensional intersection that reads, "Will work for soul food."I have two articles I wanted to write that I started ...

Birthday of a Miracle
2007-12-11 16:05:00
Most definitely, it was a tumor. My mother agreed. The lump was about the size of a golf ball, and was only visible when I laid down. It had been there for months, always in the same spot, and seemed to be growing. Slightly below and to the left of my belly button, we were certain it was a tumor, and the irregular bleeding sort of confirmed our suspicions. Mom went with me to the doctor to hold my hand while the news was delivered.Following a routine exam, the doctor opted to do an ultra-sound, agreeing with me that this "growth" in my stomach was reason for concern. Right then and there, he hooked up his ultra-sound machine and began waving his wand over my tummy. I held my breath."Well," began the doctor, "it would appear as if your tumor has ten fingers and ten toes.""I beg your pardon?" I said in utter shock.I'd walked into the doctor's office with a tumor, and walked out five and a half months pregnant!I hadn't missed a cycle, although things had become irregular. I had no m...
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A Day in Prep
2007-12-09 15:17:00
I wasn't as nervous training for prep as I was when I trained on this job for server... but when I went through server training, I was brand new to the company and hadn't worked for four years. Now, I'm re-accustomed to working, I know the menu, the floorplan, and all the people I work with, so training as prep offered a certain comfort level I didn't have before.When I went into the kitchen at 8:30, Maria was already hard at work and had twenty pies in the oven, ready to come out. On the counter top toward the left, near the sink, were thirty heads of lettuce in a great big tub. Maria was finishing off adding the mix for an additional half-dozen apple pies when she smiled up at me and said, "What chew wanna do firs?"I smiled back, "Whatever you need done most, I suppose" I replied.Maria answered, "Good. Chew start wit da lettuce. What chew do is dis. Chew peel off da ow-side, like dis. Chew pull off any ting dat is brown. Chew smash da lettuce on da counter like dis, den...
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The Crack of Dawn
2007-12-08 12:54:00
If my kids were awake, they'd have laughed hysterically at my own stupidity. My sleep was deep - deep enough that I was none too pleased, even sub-consciously, when the alarm clock started blaring at 5:30 a.m. this morning. But that's not what woke me up... what woke me was the sound of my own voice saying, "Do something... hit mute, snooze, turn it off, punch it... something!"Punch it?No wonder the dog was looking at me like I was on crack when I finally stumbled across the room to flip the switch.So why am I up at five-thirty this morning? Ugh. I got to work yesterday just early enough to scope out the new schedule. As it turns out, they've managed to fit in my prep-cook training immediately. I work as a prep-cook in training this morning from eight-thirty through three-thirty, then clock out and clock back in as S.A. (Server's Assistant), and work from 3:30 - 9:00 p.m. tonight. The scheduled out time is 7:30, but the out times are never accurate, especially on the week...
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When Friday and Monday Change Places
2007-12-07 15:56:00
It's Friday for the rest of the world, but Monday for me. Here comes another set of four long shifts.I had a lot I wanted to write over my days off. In fact, I spent the whole of Tuesday doing research for two articles I wanted to write for my own benefit... but I seem to have gotten stuck in the research phase and never finished the work. Fortunately, there are a few weeks left before said articles lose their potency and timeliness, so not all hope is lost.I did a lot domestically... baked white bread, cinnamon raisin bread, vanilla sour cream bread. I made dinner all three nights, which may not sound like a big deal to some, but for me - with the recent grocery budget and physical exhaustion, it's a big deal. I've also got the crock pot goin' today so that when the kids get home from school, even though I won't be here, they'll have a hot supper ready to go. Got all the laundry finished, sorted through a few boxes of miscellaneous crap, and with that, the days off are ...
More About: Change , Places

What do the Holidays Mean to You?
2007-12-07 15:53:00
What The Holidays Mean to YouFor you, the holidays are about celebration. You enjoy all the fun and fellowship that the holidays bring.You celebrate the holidays in a minimalist style. You are likely to only give one great present and decorate your house with a few special items.During the holidays, you feel magical. You love all of the decorations and how happy people are. You like to sit back and take it all in.You think the holidays should be nostalgic and sweet. The holidays bring out your inner child.Your best holiday memories are warm and intimate. You remember special moments more than gifts or parties.What Do the Holidays Mean to You?
More About: The Holidays

How Much Do You Know About Christmas?
2007-12-07 15:50:00
You Don't Know Much About Christmas You only got 3/10 correctSo you don't know all of the history and trivia of the holidays...As long as you remember to put out some cookies for Santa, you're still ahead of the game.Random Christmas fact: "Jingle Bells" was originally written as a Thanksgiving song.How Much Do You Know About Christmas?

Coffee Thoughts - Monday, December 3, 2007
2007-12-03 16:02:00
It's Monday , but it's Friday. One more long shift, then I can enjoy three days off. I say "enjoy", but I think I use the term lightly. Granted, I won't be working serving food, bussing tables, or rolling a butt-load of silverware, but I will be working at home -- organizing, deep cleaning, re-arranging, and tending to long over-due tasks.There's so much I want to say... so much I feel inspired to write about this morning, but the time just isn't available. Maybe tomorrow.*Sparky*
More About: Coffee , Thoughts , December

Musical Meditations - One - Alanis Morissette
2007-11-30 16:31:00
One by Alanis Morissette I am the biggest hypocriteI've been undeniably jealousI have been loud and pretentiousI have been utterly threatenedI've gotten candy for my self-interestThe sexy treadmill capitalistHeaven forbid I be criticizedHeaven forbid I be ignoredI have abused my power forgive meYou mean we actually are all oneOne one one one one one oneI've been out of reach and separatistHeaven forbid average (whatever average means)I have compensated for myDays of powerlessnessI have abused my so-called power forgive meYou mean we actually are all oneOne one one one one one oneDid you just call her amazing?Surely we both can't be amazing!And give up my hard earned statusAs fabulous freak of nature?I have abused my power forgive meYou mean we actually are all... oneOne one one one one one oneAlways looked good on paperSounded good in theoryLyrics Source
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Blowing Kisses
2007-11-30 16:05:00
Congratulations to the following blogs who have each been granted the "Faerie-Kissed" award from A Faerie's Tale:~*~*~*~*~Presented to:LordManilaStoneofThe Native Sentimental ManiacAn exclusive award granted byA Faerie's Tale~*~*~*~*~Presented to:Sara EastofSmall WorldAn exclusive award granted byA Faerie's Tale~*~*~*~*~Presented to:TerryofMysTerry's MansionAn exclusive award granted byA Faerie's Tale~*~*~*~*~Presented to:TelofLife is a Gift...An exclusive award granted byA Faerie's Tale~*~*~*~*~... And of course, the original recipient and creator of the award,Presented to:NickofStrange CorridorAn exclusive award granted byA Faerie's Tale~*~*~*~*~Presented to:NickofPersonal ParanoiaAn exclusive award granted byA Faerie's TaleWhat makes a blog worthy of a faerie kiss?Regular updates with stimulating content. A blogger who knows the value of responding to viewer comments, and returning visits/comments to the blogs of others. Blogs I visit often that I find interesting, well p...
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Trinkets & Treasures 2
2007-11-30 15:55:00
I've added a few new tidbits here, mostly for my own benefit, but free to be enjoyed by all. Thanks to PaganNews.net, I've added the daily correspondences for each day, as well as a learning center that includes a tarot card, herb, rune, and deity. These are automatically regenerated each day. These are located in the right sidebar of my blog.In addition, I've added a free horoscope, and just for fun, I've added a "fortune cookie" widget to check daily fortunes.For those who are into this sort of thing, enjoy the new trinkets and treasures! For those who aren't, kindly ignore. *soft smiles*With that, my work week begins again... long day today, Saturday, Sunday, and Monday... and then I'll roll into another set of days off that I'll hopefully use much more wisely than I did this set.*Sparky*
More About: Trinkets , Treasures

Enchantmonths: The Magick of December
2007-11-30 14:54:00
December is frosted with a variety of flavors ? Turquoise skies sprinkle glittery snow flakes, red Poinsettias pop with vibrant Christmas cheer, Mistletoe and Holly present promises of luck and kisses while invitations are extended to partake in celebrations of hot chocolate, eggnog, and presents o? plenty. Pine trees glisten with sparkling lights, twinkling tinsel, and shiny ornaments. Pretty packages wrapped in ribbons await unveiling moments while our smiles are warmed with holiday cheer, and Yuletide carols allow harmony to float on the chilled winter air. Yet, on the other side of that candy coin, there?s a sense of frozen existence. Bitter cold needs for solitary reflections border the realms of depression while we search through our shivering souls and credit card debts for a way to gracefully accept change and bravely face the approaching New Year. The holiday season represents a sense of coming together ? and yet, we cannot deny that life all around is hibernating, dying, a...
More About: Magick , December , Mont