Antonia Stuart-James' blogAntonia Stuart-James' blogAntonia Stuart-James' personal blog with ideas, news, opinions, photos, jokes etc. Articles
Chocolate
2007-12-07 19:01:00 Heard on Stephen Fry's QI:"If God was a woman, sperm would taste of chocolate." More About: Chocolate
Wembley under Tarmac for Race of Champions
2007-12-04 13:26:00 I was astonished to hear that the hallowed turf of Wembley Stadium in London will be covered in 1,800 tonnes of tarmac for a motor racing 'Race of Champ ions ' on 16 December.Retired seven times Formula One champion Michael Schumacher has confirmed his participation while organisers said Lewis Hamilton, the 22-year-old rookie leading the standings for McLaren, had expressed an interest. "I hope that my participation can help the event organisers raise even more funds and awareness for the Institute for Cerebral and Medullary Disorders," Schumacher said in a statement. Drivers include David Coulthard and Jenson Button."It could be a unique occasion, the only occasion to see him compete against Michael Schumacher," said Fredrik Johnsson, founder of the event which brings together champions and leading drivers from across the world of motorsport.The Race of Champions, previously held at the Stade de France in Paris, will have a rally-style format with knockout heats on a two-lane asph... More About: Arma
Jokes
2007-12-03 14:12:00 I'm told these were Tommy Cooper's jokes:1. Man goes to the doctor, with a strawberry growing out of his head. Doc says, "I'll give you some cream to put on it." 2. 'Doc I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home' "That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome. 'Is it common?' "It's not unusual." 3. A man takes his Rotteweiller to the vet. "My dog is cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?" "Well," said the vet, "let's have a look at him" So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then he checks his teeth. Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down." "What? Because he's cross-eyed?" "No, because he's really heavy". 4. Guy goes into the doctor's. "Doc, I've got a cricket ball stuck up my backside." "How's that?" "Don't you start." 5. So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me "Can you give me a lift?" I said "Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.' 6. Two fat blokes in a pub, one says to the other "Your round." ... More About: Jokes
News: Chocolate lorry goes to Timbuktu
2007-11-30 13:42:00 Two British adventurers are setting off on a journey across Europe to west Africa in a lorry powered by chocolate. Andy Pag, of London, and his co-driver John Grimshaw, of Poole in Dorset, were leaving Mr Grimshaw's home town on a cross channel ferry on Friday. They are travelling in a Ford Iveco Cargo lorry powered by fuel that began life as chocolate, in a bid to raise awareness of green fuels. The 4,500 mile (7250km) trip across the Sahara should take about three weeks. The pair will take a small processing unit with them to convert waste oil products into fuel, which they will then donate to an African charity, along with the lorry. "If we can make it [to Timbuktu ] with bio-fuel there's no reason why motorists can't use it on the school run or on their commute to work" said Andy Pag. They are taking 2,000 litres (454 gallons) of bio-diesel made from 4,000kg (8,818lb) of chocolate misshapes, the equivalent of 80,000 chocolate bars, to fuel their adventure. But they will not be... More About: News , Chocolate
Bill Gates' Life Rules for the Real World
2007-11-29 18:04:00 I saw this on a blog today and wanted to share it. Even if Bill Gates did not really say these things, they are true.Bill Gates recently gave a speech at a high school about 11 things they did not and will not learn in school. He talked about how feel-good, politically correct teachings created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept set them up for the failure in the real world. Rule 1: Life is not fair - get used to it!Rule 2: The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, s... More About: World , Rules , Real
Which Sports Car are you?
2007-11-29 16:44:00 You're sporty, yet practical, and you have a style of your own. You like to have fun, and you like to bring friends along for the ride, but when it comes time for everyday chores, you're willing to do your part. Take the Which Sports Car Are You? quiz.
Christmas Spending in the UK
2007-11-26 11:05:00 According to Stephen Fry's source on "QI", * we spend £20 billion each Christmas * 1/3 of all books, clothes and toys are sold in the 8 weeks before Christmas* 150 million Christmas cards are sold* we decorate 7.5 million Christmas trees* we use enough wrapping paper to giftwrap the island of GuernseyThat is ridiculous. Consumerism gone mad but we love it.Harrods excel in beautiful displays and extravagance. If you can, visit Harrods during the Christmas season. Book ahead for Santa's Grotto in the Toy Kingdom.Visit EuroTravel for travel to and within Europe. More About: Spending
England exit Euro 2008
2007-11-22 14:34:00 Well people are certainly passionate about English football. As Bill Shankly said, "Football is not a matter of life and death. It's more important than that."McLaren is a nobody who was trained by Sven and that should have set warning bells ringing. I blame the FA for appointing him when the choice was obviously made because preferred choices said no.Sven played a disasterous 4-5-1 with Rooney on his own which cost us the World Cup. What made McLaren think it would work with talented but non-speedy Crouchie on his own? Where was support on the left? Look at the film. Time and time again, there was no one on the left.Yes, he was unlucky with injuries but England failed to qualify over 12 games, not just 1.Choosing a new inexperienced goalie? Please. My 9 year old could have done better. This was no time to drop experienced Robinson. All credit to Scott Carson for trying and pulling off two very good saves but the pressure of the night was too much to ask.The injured Owen ... More About: Euro 2008 , Euro , Peter Crouch , Vinnie Jones
My Domain Names for Sale
2007-11-22 13:31:00 I have a couple of domain names for sale:www.loseweightnow.bewww.bestinfo4lif e.comso I checked on ebay to see whether they offer such items and of course they do. Some start at just 99pence whilst others run into thousands of pounds.One is being very optimistic www.milliondollarnewpage.com is for sale. The price is a cool 8 million pounds...yes, £8,000,000We can all live in hope.If you are interested in either of my domain names at a very reasonable price, just send me a comment with your email address. More About: For Sale , Domain , Domain Names , Sale , Names
What's So Wrong With TV?
2007-11-15 10:13:00 I am fed up with people decrying TV as a bad thing to be avoided.What is wrong with TV? I watch wonderful documentary programmes on history, art, travel, National Geographic programs on animals, natural wonders, building megastructures and biographies to learn about other people's lives.My husband also watches programmes on cars which he enjoys. It is better than wasting thousands of pounds buying them and polluting the atmosphere more.We watch all sorts of films to amuse us, challenge us or just entertain. It is healthy to laugh at comedy and much British TV comedy is excellent.Our children watch their favourite characters then play with those toys and recreate stories. My son has even created his own Doctor Who site http://www.squidoo.com/asj_doctorwho/We watch intelligent quizzes like Stephen Fry's "QI", topical satire like "Have I Got News for You?" and learn new facts. We watch channels in other languages.We watch football matches if England or Liverpool are playing, rugby i... More About: Wrong
Don't Take Your Man Shopping If He Doesn't Want to Go
2007-11-14 20:31:00 This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.DON'T TAKE ME IF I DON'T WANT TO GO...........After Mr. And Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs.Fenton insisted her husband accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was like most men - he found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was like most women - she loved to browse. One day Mrs. Fenton received the following letter from her local Wal-Mart.Dear Mrs. Fenton, Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may be forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras. 1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.3. July 7: Made a trail of to... More About: Shopping
Jokes
2007-11-13 17:56:00 I was told these were Tommy Cooper's jokes but I cannot say that for sure.1. Two blondes walk into a building....you'd think at least one of them would have seen it. 2. Phone answering machine message - "...If you want to buy marijuana, press the hash key..." 3. A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Clingfilm for shorts. The shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts." 4. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any5. I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, "No, the steaks are too high."6. My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.7. A man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He shouted,"Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't, I've cut your arms off."8. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a muscle.9. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. They lit a fire i... More About: Jokes
Stick Your Chewing Gum Here
2007-11-10 14:00:00 I saw this board adjacent to a traffic light crossing in Kingston-upon-Thames, Surrey. What a good idea! More About: Chewing Gum , Stick , Chewing , Tick
Absolutely Priceless re House Title
2007-11-09 18:08:00 Part of rebuilding New Orleans causes residents to often be challenged with the task of tracing home titles back potentially hundreds of years. With a community rich in history stretching back over two centuries, houses have been passed along through generations of family, sometimes making it quite difficult to establish ownership. Here's a great letter an attorney wrote to the FHA on behalf of a client that is absolutely priceless.You've got to love this lawyer and it is good enough to share.A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA loan for a client. He was told the loan would be granted if he could prove satisfactory title to a parcel of property being offered as collateral. The title to the property dated back to 1803, which took the lawyer three months to track down. After sending the information to the FHA, he received the following reply (actual letter):'Upon review of your letter adjoining your client's loan application, we note that the request is supported by an Abstrac... More About: House , Title , Priceless , Absolute
Laughter Videos on-line
2007-11-09 18:00:00 A new page of comedy videos has been added to the Laughter share website and there is a huge selection of free gifts at the bottom of the page. The free gifts include hundreds of ebooks, MP3 tracks, product samples and vouchers (the last two are US only). To collect your gift simply visit the link below:Click here for Laughtershare More About: Videos , On-line , Line , On Line
Another Death from a Brain Tumour
2007-11-08 09:45:00 I have just heard that Sarah Wattyn, daughter of a work acquaintance Christian Vermeire, died from a brain tumour on 6 November. She was just 26. Christian had sought help from every neurosurgeon in Belgium then found someone in Munich who said he might be able to help. A fund raising benefit was organised but it was all too late.I have had two brain tumours removed, each time saved by a life-threatening operation. My heart goes out to Christian and his family. More About: Death , Brain , Tumour
Book Recommendation - "Stars and Bars"
2007-11-06 15:01:00 I just read a fun book by William Boyd called "Stars and Bars ". It is the story of Henderson Dores, an English art historian who has been transferred to a Manhattan auctioneers. He is still feeling out of place in America and desperately wants to make his mark. His chance arises with the prospect of the sale of a private art collection. All he has to do is pop down to Georgia and make arrangements.Is it that simple and straightforward? The book is very funny and you must feel sympathy for Henderson who is only trying to do his job despite most unusual circumstances.ISBN 0-14-007596-8 More About: Book , Recommendation , Dati
Russell Watson
2007-10-28 13:38:00 As someone who has had two brain tumours removed, I was very sorry to hear that the classical tenor Russell Watson is in hospital after an emergency operation to removed a benign brain tumour. He is "in good spirits" after the five-hour operation. The tumour was pressing on his optical nerve and would "almost certainly" have ruined his sight had it been left any longer. He had been developing severe headaches and impaired vision. The tumour, called a pituitary adenoma, was removed through Watson's nose. "They had to be very careful the way they did it, because of his vocal cords, we had to ensure that there'd be no damage," said his spokeswoman. "Russell wishes to pay his sincere thanks and appreciation to the entire medical team at St George's Hospital who successfully carried out the operation," she said. "He is obviously very relieved that the operation has been a success and is in good spirits. He is now resting and we are told by the doctor he will make a complete recovery...
Some One-liner Jokes
2007-10-28 12:51:00 I met this bloke with a didgeridoo and he was playing Dancing Queen on it. I thought, "That's Aboriginal." This lorry full of tortoises collided with a van full of terrapins. It was a turtle disaster. I told my girlfriend I had a job in a bowling alley. She said "Tenpin?" I said, "No, permanent." I went in to a pet shop. I said, "Can I buy a goldfish?" The guy said, "Do you want an aquarium?" I said, "I don't care what star sign it is."I went to the local video shop and I said "Can I borrow Batman Forever?" He said, "No, you'll have to bring it back tomorrow"Batman came up to me and he hit me over the head with a vase and he went T'PAU! I said "Don't you mean KAPOW?? He said "No, I've got china in my hand."I bought some Armageddon cheese today, and it said on the packet. 'Best Before End' I went to buy a watch and the man in the shop said "Analogue." I said "No, just a watch." I went into a shop and I said, "Can someone sell me a kettle." The bloke said "Kenwood" I ... More About: Jokes , Some
Speaking the Queen's English
2007-10-06 15:43:00 Speaking English with accents, dialects, dropping the 'h' and 't' all seem to be the norm these days - unfortunately.I do not claim to speak with a plum in my mouth, far from it, but I do appreciate English spoken well. Poshly, some would say. I was therefore amused to see the elocution lessons on this year's Big Brother. The housemates had to read lists of words, many of which are of French origin eg.Chablis, dauphinois, croquet, canapés, rendez-vous, au pair, faux pas, cloche and some names which are not obvious eg Shrewsbury, Waldegrave, Fenwich, Chomlendely, Bicester, Leicester, St John, Cockburn and Featherstonhaugh.They also had to practice their 'h's in:"In Hertford, Hereford and Hampshire, hurricanes hardly happen" and the old favourite,"The rain in Spain stays mainly on the plane".It is not very PC to say so but I am all for it. More About: Speaking , The Queen
IQ Test On-line
2007-10-05 17:58:00 I was invited to take an IQ test online when I was on Facebook. Here are the results:"Your IQ score is 124. This number is based on a scientific formula that compares how many questions you answered correctly on the Classic IQ Test relative to others. Your Intellectual Type is Visual Mathematician. This means you are gifted at spotting patterns ? both in pictures and in numbers. These talents combined with your overall high intelligence make you good at understanding the big picture, which is why people trust your instincts and turn to you for direction ? especially in the workplace."I then had the option to download a full 15 page report and a 7 days trial membership with tests such as The Brain Test, The Career Makeover, Is Your Coworker Crazy?, The Social Networking Test and What's Your Summer Dream Job? It's all a bit of fun. You can take the tests here. More About: On-line , Line , On Line
Cows Around the World
2007-10-04 09:45:00 I just received this tongue-in-cheek summary of international business in an email.SOCIALISM: You have 2 cows; you give one to your neighbour.COMMUNISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.FASCISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.NAZISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you.BUREAUCRACY: You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away...SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessonsTRADITIONAL CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want... More About: World , Around the world , The World , Cows
My Favourite Toys Catalogue
2007-09-27 16:41:00 This is just a plug for one of my favourite mail order companies who will ship worldwide.Hawkin's Bazaar offer a bizarre selection of toys and curiousities, from pocket money toys for pennies to more substantial items. Just receiving the brochure is a delight as there are so many items from days gone by and funny joke items.At Hawkin?s Bazaar they source unusual toys, gifts, gadgets and curiosities that appeal to all ages and tastes. There is something for everyone, even the most difficult to buy for: from retro space hoppers, wooden toys, clockwork toys and musical instruments, to games, puzzles, science kits, party paraphernalia and grown-up gifts/gadgets? the list is endless! Christmas is 89 days away! More About: Toys , Catalogue
Largest Indoor Skipiste in Europe
2007-09-19 19:57:00 Last weekend, Snow Valley in Peer, Limburg, Belgium held an open-door weekend when children and adults could enjoy one hour FREE ski-ing including hire of equipment. This was an offer too good to resist.Apparently the indoor skipiste in Snow Valley, Peer has a piste of 235 m long by 30m wide served by 3 poma style lifts and a kids' piste of 100m with a conveyor belt. For snowboarders, there are kicks with rails, big air, fun box and quarterpipes.Visit the site of SnowValley, BelgiumMy photos of Snow Valley on Flickr More About: Europe , Largest , Large , Rope
Kids and Advertising
2007-09-16 20:20:00 In case anyone doubts the effect of advertising on kids, mine can be heard chanting,"L'Oreal Kids Shampoo, because we're worth it too".My 6 year old also asks me why I am not interested in Sheila's Wheels car Insurance, the one with all the women in the stretch pink limo. More About: Advertising , Vert
Scots Weekend in Alden Biesen, Belgium
2007-09-12 19:40:00 I was astonished that over 20,000 people visited for the 21st annual Scots Weekend (7-9 September 2007) in Alden Biesen, a sort of castle in Limburg, Belgium . Even the lousy weather we are having did not put people off.We visited on Saturday and heard various pipe bands (bagpipes), shopped for Scottish produce on the market, drank Gordon beer, sampled Scotch whiskies and the children tried their hand at archery before burning off energy on the proverbial bouncy castle.My photos of the Scots Weekend on FlickrI met a group of young men in matching T-shirts and kilts, one of whom was dressed up with toy armour. I asked them where they were from and discovered they were Belgians on a stag party weekend. Apparently it is traditional for Belgians to do this! I saw a group of women in matching costume when we were leaving so maybe they were on a hen party.I was pleased to hear that the Belgian group of monitors at my fitness club, Olympia in Hasselt, won first prize in the Highland Game...
Economist Pocket World in Figures 2008
2007-09-12 15:47:00 This is the new edition of this annual bestseller of fascinating facts and figures about the world we live in. The 2008 edition has been completely updated, revised, refreshed and expanded. It contains rankings on more than 200 topics in subject areas as wide-ranging as geography, population, business, the economy, trade, transport, finance, industry, demographics, the environment, society, culture and crime. This annual bestseller has the answers to all these questions and more. It contains data on 182 countries and profiles of more than 65 of the world's major economies, together with special profiles on the Euro Zone and the World . The best level of human development and quality of life overall is to be found in:1. Norway2. Iceland3. Australia4. Ireland5. Sweden6. Canada7. Japan8. USA9. Netherlands, Finland & Switzerland12.Belgium & Luxembourg17. UKWorst quality of life: Bottom 5: Niger, Sierra Leone, Mali, Burkina Faso and Guinea-Bissau. Standard of living1. Luxembourg2. Bermud... More About: Economist , Figures , Pocket
Schooling in Belgium
2007-09-12 15:25:00 From 1 September 2007, junior schools in Belgium are to be "kosteloos", ie without costs. Children receive the following items from the school:- books, atlases, dictionaries, notebooks, diary- reading books,picture books- pencils, ballpoint pens, rubbers (erasers in US)- paint, art paper- glue, scissors, ruler- compasses, set square, protractor, calculator, compass- photocopies- balls, rope, tricycles, climbing equipment- cardboard, wood, tools, building blocks, puzzles- computers, internet, software- musical instruments.What is not free ie for what must parents pay?- Swimming costs (except first years who receive free lessons, the 6 year olds)- Trips out such as theatre, walks in the wood, sports activities, school journeys.- Sport clothing, newspapers (if necessary).The school may ask a maximum annual contribution of 20? in nursery and 60? in the junior school.The school may also request payment for activities and services outside normal school hours but children are not obliged t...
Are You Blessed?
More articles from this author:2007-09-11 15:11:00 - If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof overhead and a place to sleep, you are richer than 75% of the people of this world! - If you have money in the bank and in the purse, you are among the top 8% of the world's wealthy persons! - If you wake up this morning with more health than illness, you are more blessed than one million who will not survive this week! - If you have never experienced the danger of battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture or the pangs of starvation, you are more blessed than three billion people in the world! - If you hold up your head with a smile on your face and are truly thankful, you are more blessed because you can offer healing touch! - If you can read this message, you are more blessed than over two billion people in the world that cannot read at all! Count your blessings and pass this message to remind everyone else how blessed they are. ... More About: Blessed 1, 2, 3 |
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