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Articles: 1, 2

Because I Love You
2008-04-05 07:40:00
He came and handed me a cone shaped box. I checked it's base knowing he had hidden the actual thing there, and I couldn't believe it!! I was searching for that for the past few months and it was unavailable everywhere. The moment I saw it, I realized he must have taken great pains in finding that for me.I asked, "Why did you do this for me."He looked in to my eyes and said, "Because I love you."Till then I never even had the slightest idea that he actually saw me in that way. We were just close friends, that's all the importance I gave to our relationship.He leaned towards me to reach my lips and I didn't try to move away. The next moment, we were lip-locked. It was the first kiss I had ever experienced and I was totally consumed by the power of love it had. The furniture faded, the couch faded, the walls faded. I felt that the whole world was centered on him and all I was able to see, was him. We hugged and I felt like we became one, our souls connected and the weight I carrie...
More About: Love , I Love You

I've Got Mail!
2008-03-30 07:31:00
Hey! I am 23 year old female lining in US, I find your blog very interesting. I have a Desi gay friend who is not out but I found out he is gay by accidentally reading his chat conversation. Well, not accidentally I intended to read it. Lol.. Anyways I know he is hurting and I want him to know that I am there for him. I don't know how to approach this matter. I want him to feel free and open up to me. Your comments will be greatly appreciated. I have changed my name just in case he visits your blog as well.First of all, thank you very much for your interest in my blog. I'm really happy to know that and it's so nice of you for wanting to help your friend out.When I read your mail, I couldn't help relating your friend's situation to that of mine, during the time when I was out to nobody. The secret in me was causing so much hurt to such an extent that day and night I was suffering. That's when Phoebe noticed my uneasiness and she asked me what was the matter. I chose not to tell...
More About: Mail

Yet Another Shout Out!
2008-03-19 14:37:00
Mark Leslie Woods at Mordechai Razing Ziggurats remarks:Crazy Sam's Bloginess is apolitical casual male sex with easy conversation blogspace. From time to time we post our web surfing finds -- thought you all might enjoy this unassumingly gentle gay gem.Unassumingly gentle gay gem? Wow!! I'm flattered! Thank you Mark! It's very encouraging to see you guys are actually finding my blog interesting. Nope, I'm not being modest. Ask my friends, they will have hundreds of instances to prove how narcissistic I can be. One even told me that I might be suffering from delusions of grandeur. Lol!Mark's post also has a screenshot of this page. I always wanted to see how my blog would appear on a widescreen and thanks to Mark, I got to see that. Click here to read the Mordechai Razing Ziggurats post.
More About: Shout

Gays And Mothers
2008-03-13 16:37:00
Recently one of my friends, who is from Mexico had to come out to his mother because his ex-boyfriend threatened him that unless he got back together with him, he would let my friend's mother know about her son's sexual preference. Even though he wasn't planning of doing it in the near future, but in order to take away the power from his ex-boyfriend of hurting him and his family, he came out to his mother. But this turned out to be a blessing in disguise instead. She accepted the truth and told him if that’s the way he chose to live his life, and if he was happy, then she didn't have anything to say about it. She also said to him that he needn't worry about his ex-boyfriend contacting her because she just wouldn't let him get to her.And after reading RambWS's come out (his very first!) to his mother, I thought I could share here some experiences that happened with my mother.One time my mother was talking to me and a folder suddenly popped open and there she sees all the sc...
More About: Gays , Mothers

iPod Which One?
2008-03-08 19:53:00
Ever since I decided to buy an iPod, I am confused. I am not a spendthrift, so I feel like I am entering uncharted waters whenever I decide to spend more than the usual. I want to take a sensible decision so that I may not regret later for splurging on something that didn't give me what I expected. Or even worse, when I learn that I could've had an even better one at a much lesser price! I am a hardcore audiophile, so the quality of sound is of paramount priority to me. And iPods have proved again and again that they are always an audiophile's best friend. But then again, Apple presents you variants of iPod that trigger questions. Why is one priced lower than the other, is it because the sound quality of the former is lower than the latter or is it because the former has lesser features? Which one is easier to handle, more comfortable to fit inside the pocket of a jeans, more work-out friendly, more dapper and so on..Thanks to Digit, they have helped me to narrow down my choices ...
More About: Ipod

That Guy!
2008-02-29 04:47:00
I was exhausted after the day's work and just wanted to relax for a while before heading to my apartment. I stopped the car at Heaven. The truth is I didn't feel like going to my place. Nothing but only walls are there to welcome me. If walls could talk, they would have had millions of words to describe about my loneliness. They see my solitary life every moment. They see how I try to console myself hugging the pillow during the nights. They see my tears whenever I look at the photo of my parents.I ordered a beer and started thinking about all those good times. I was the only child and my parents brought me up centering all their love towards me. They didn't suspect when I didn't have a girlfriend. They didn't feel suspicious when I put wallpapers of Tom Cruise in my room. They didn't get the hint when I told them I didn't want to get married. I had determined to keep it as a secret till I find my other half. But fate had decided something else. The truth had to come out beca...

The Mostly Unfabulous Social Life Of Crazy Sam
2008-02-19 03:24:00
It's been almost 6 months since I really liked someone, someone with whom I can be comfortable with. Although I had determined not to fall for him, he made me fall with his charm and words. But since we knew that this couldn't work anyways, we both decided to take the friendship route. And that added another one whom I cannot romantically get along with. And thanks to my fate, none of them are now anywhere near my vicinity!! Six months have passed and still I am single. What am I doing wrong? I am asked why have I chosen to be away from guys when so many of them are circling around. Hello? Do you think I wanted to be like this? Hell No! Do you have any idea how desperately I am wishing that romance to enter my life? And they say I am not trying hard enough. Well.. let see what's trying hard. To meet every single guy that offers you "fun"? To continue chatting with one whom you are not interested? To just discard the fact that you are not attracted to him? To succumb to do erotic ...
More About: Social , Life , Crazy , Social Life

Coulda Shoulda Woulda Prada
2008-02-12 17:08:00
Last weekend I was at Goa with my parents. Not to any touristy areas though, b'coz I was there to attend a family wedding. The bride's brother came to the railway station to pick us up. He looked exactly the same since I last saw him years ago. Handsome and so charming! Everytime I see him, he makes my heart skip a beat. I don't think we ever had a comfortable talk. It was always a hi, or something of that sort. I get tongue-tied and the words even if they came out would be totally out of order that would make no sense. I still remember that day when I made a total fool of myself while trying to make a conversation with him. That was 10 years ago. May be he doesn't remember all that now, but I do.The fact that he is married doesn't stop me from fantasizing about him. He is absolutely crazy about cars and loves his own like a.. I don't know how to put it, but you should've seen the way he was washing his car the other day. It was almost like he was caressing it! Gently touchin...
More About: Prada

Gaydar For Sale Anyone?
2008-02-05 16:32:00
First of all, I must thank Orangeorka for prompting me to do this post. His posts on gaydar made me want to share my experience with this highly discombobulating (try saying it?) thingy. When I say I doubt whether I have gaydar, I am told to watch guys, how they talk and interact. But unless they are feminish, I don't think I will ever identify one. (And I'm not stating that all such guys are gays.) Anyways, truth is I really don't bother to know who's gay and who's not. If at all I get a vibe from someone (yeah right.. like that's gonna happen!), it's still pretty much the same because I don't see myself going towards him and initiating a conversation.But one time, the unthinkable did happen. I was in a lift with a cute guy. There was something in me pushing to talk to him. This is the first time I'm seeing him and I didn't get any gay vibe what so ever. Well.. I initiated the talk and we had a brief two minute conversation while walking towards our destination. At the en...
More About: For Sale , Sale , Gaydar

The Cosmopolitan Tales
2008-02-04 04:51:00
Few weeks before while I was at my cousin's place, I had the opportunity to read Cosmopolitan (I think it is the closest thing I can get here that goes as a substitute for a gay magazine.) Since I know no one would expect a guy to read Cosmo, I was very careful not to get "outed". Every time his wife passed by, I made extra-sure that she wouldn't see me holding the Cosmo. But I had a really fun time reading it. You know how these magazines are, right? Perfect poison for a shallow guy like me with all the peppiness and glamour. In fact I was so hooked on to it that I couldn't stop myself from reading until I reached the last page. Felt like I was eating chocolate ice cream - you just don't want the bowl to get empty.Since then, I wanted to grab one copy to keep it for myself. Every time I go to the bookstore, I could feel it calling me, "Take me home, allow me to satisfy you.." But what would the people think if they see me buying Cosmo. I don't pass off as a married man so that...
More About: Tales

An End To A Video - Quest
2008-01-24 15:33:00
Years before, one fine morning while I was channel surfing, a video on MTV brought me to a screeching stop. It was so tempting that my eyes practically lost the power to blink. For a moment, I forgot where I was. I didn't feel like switching to the next channel. Then I heard my parents talking from the next room and I realized that it could cause an uncomfortable situation if they knew what I was watching. So reluctantly, very reluctantly I changed the channel.Even though I saw it only for few seconds, from that day onwards there was an eagerness to see that video once more. And ever since I got broadband I was searching for it far and wide. Finally today I found what I was looking for. First I thought, this couldn't be it. I had only a very vague memory of what the video was like. But after some time I knew, I have finally hit the jackpot!Well... what was this video all about? I never practically cared to give attention to the music because of the visuals. So can't comment about...
More About: Video , Quest

Men N' Music
2008-01-20 08:14:00
This has been hiding under my collection for so long and I thought it would be great to share on this page. Though the music is nice, not all men featured are my type. Beefy men don't turn me on that much. I usually like defined guys and the-guy-next-door types. Make sure your speakers are on before clicking to watch the video.As you might have noticed, the photographer is Pat Lee. I had downloaded this video years back from his site Axius Photography, but now I see this is not hosted there anymore. So I uploaded it for you! *wink*
More About: Music

Launching New Blog
2008-01-01 17:55:00
Music is such an integral part of me. In fact, it has such a profound effect on me that it can lift my spirits up when I feel down, it can give me strength when I feel weak, it can even make me forget where I am. Last week I was at the Music World and I was kinda dancing to the song that was played there. How I wish I owned an Ipod! Then day and night I could listen to songs. Although I am not a gadget freak, Ipod is one toy I definitely want to possess. Anyways, for the past few days, I was browsing through YouTube and I was glad to find the videos of music that I liked. That got me thinking, wouldn't it be cool if they all be at one place, together! I do not intend to put music videos here unless it had something gay-worthy to drool about. Also, if I start posting music videos here, I think this one might end up turning into a music blog. So today I finished setting up the new blog just for showcasing all those music I like. If you ask any Indian which music director they like th...
More About: Blog

The Last Post For 2007
2007-12-31 14:58:00
While most of us would be bidding farewell to 2007 on a happy note, cherishing all the good moments that the year presented, I would not be joining that bandwagon. 2007 saw the lowest points of my life.It is the only year so far that makes me feel wasted. It is the year that saw stagnation to my growth, the year that gave me agonising pain, the year that made me feel insecure, the year that questioned my believes on true friendships, the year that raised doubts on my capabilities, the year that proved the decisions I took were fatal, the year that gave me unrealized hopes, the year that made me frequently ponder about the purpose of my life.Through the throes, I was given a new vision to see this world. It was no longer colourful. It was no longer pleasant. My rosy eyes had to be shut. My heart bled understanding the reality. New realizations emerged from the ashes. And the way I see this world would never be the same again. Even then I am holding on to the words that Oprah once sa...
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Another Shout Out!
2007-12-29 05:33:00
Although pretty much nothing exciting is happening on my side (that just explains why this blog is seeing less of my personal life nowadays), I am once again happy to make another shout out. Erik has selected Crazy Sam's Bloginess as one of the gay blogs he found interesting in 2007. In his blog, Best Gay Bloggers, his post links back to the one in which I describe my very first coming out experience. Thank you so much Erik! To all my readers out there, I am very much grateful for all the support you guys are giving me. Hugs!!Click here to read the Best Gay Bloggers post.
More About: Shout

Mambo Italiano
2007-12-23 05:18:00
God! I Luuurrved this movie! From the moment you hear the narration of Angelo's life from his pre-born days to the present when he talks to the guy at the Gay Helpline, you will know that you are guaranteed to have a fun time till the end. Angelo is gay and closeted who happens to be bestowed with parents who act crazy all the time (which is real fun!), a sister who goes to the anxious mode every now and then and a hunky (and yummy) boyfriend who feels insecure about his sexuality. Together they all present to you, what I can say, one of the funniest movies I have ever seen. The dialogues are so witty and f**king hilarious!Angelo: There is no fate worse than being gay and Italian. All the lead actors have got some attraction factor which makes you sit there like a moth attracted to the flame. Angelo (Luke Kirby) is cute and has got beautiful eyes which I was gazing the whole time whenever his scene came up. His boyfriend Nino (Peter Miller), handsome and smoking good body! His face...
More About: Mambo , Italiano

A Shout Out!
2007-12-19 13:27:00
I am happy to announce that the guys at LMGTS (LetMeGetThisStraight.Com) found Crazy Sam's Bloginess worthy to be mentioned in one of their posts. Thank you guys! I was totally surprised and honoured when I saw that post. I am glad to know that people are liking what I am writing. It is always a boost to your ego at a time when you see other blogs which you feel are far more superior and you question yourself, "If people are used to reading such quality stuffs, would they be liking mine?" So this just proves that you guys can tolerate what I am dishing out here. Lol!Click here to read the LMGTS post.
More About: Shout

Amorously, Sam
2007-12-14 14:43:00
Don't know whether it is because I listened to too many love songs, but I am feeling romantic. A hope that something good is bound to happen. The whole day, the dreamer in me was feeling happy for some unknown reason. Rarely do I care to buy albums from music stores. "Tera Mera Pyaar" (Mine And Your Love) happens to be one of them. A nice romantic album capturing every colour of the romance. The songs are definitely worth hearing again and again. It's been 3 years since I bought it and I play it even this day. Some how I don't feel tired of hearing it, but still remains fresh every time I listen to it.What you see in the music video below is actually the picturization of one of my dreams! How would you feel when you go to the movies or cafe and you find that special person that makes your heart skip a beat! How lucky would you feel when you get to know that strange connection is felt by the other person too? Would you desire him or her to be yours? What happens next? Is this some...

More Blah!
2007-12-02 18:15:00
Warning: This post and the below one were originally written together, that's why both have the pompous taste. If you don't like pretentious talking, you should not read them.Phoebe tells me that I shouldn't be worried about finding the right guy, that he will find me. In fact I too like the feel of it, gives me the role of a hidden gem waiting to be discovered. :p Today I just wanted to see how the guys at the gay-dating site would respond to my new look (Enough of your look already! We get it, you became invincible!) And the result was comforting. Those people who earlier rejected me, this time actually found me worthy to proceed. Well, I know there is no need to be surprised. Looks do play a crucial role in this hunting game. But as X points out in Boy Culture, there is so much energy put into cruising, socialization, fashion, months at the gym ... and finally you get laid.. and never hear from the f**ker again. Then you invest all your energy and money back into grooming, wor...
More About: Blah

The Blah!
2007-12-02 14:57:00
The wedding went fine. For me this was nothing like I've ever attended because the wedding had a mix of Northern and Southern cultures put into it. I was actually planning to surprise everyone on the wedding day about the new look, but had to give away the suspense on the night before the wedding itself. As you see in Hindi movies, the night was filled with music and dance. I had a wonderful time, because everyone's attention was on me. They were all just in awe seeing me. During 'Dhoom Again' and 'Dard-E-Disco', I really got the chance to show off. My moves dumbfounded many and some asked me whether I had previously learnt the dance. Truth to be told, the only sessions I had were those that I do daily in front of my comp with the speakers blasting at their maximum. And most of the steps are so gay that could dizzy my parents if they ever see me performing. (Put me some Britney tunes and you'll see what I mean.) So I was taking extra-caution not to make those queer moves duri...
More About: Blah

Loving My New Look
2007-11-22 03:01:00
When my parents came home that night, the look on their face was priceless! Mother exclaimed, "This is not my son!" And my father had a grin on his face. He didn't say anything but I could see what he was thinking, "Was there any need to have this done?" Although I know the style is quite out of fashion, getting my curly hair to be straightened was a dream that I was yearning all these years. A year before, when I exposed my desire to the styler, he looked at me and said, "Not possible, not enough length!" Damn! That time, I allowed him to cut my hair short.This time, I decided to fulfill that wish and I had been growing my hair for the past 6 months. Yeah towards the end of it, I looked really atrocious with the enormous bush that's crowned on my head. I wanted to get this done before the wedding that I mentioned earlier. One of my uncle hinted, "I heard you are going to cut your hair." I told him that I never said that. Obviously everyone is worried that I might screw up the wed...
More About: Loving

Bhool Bhulaiyaa
2007-11-16 17:54:00
Whoever said Bhool Bhulaiyaa rocks must not have seen its original version, ‘Manichithrathazhu’. I normally don’t watch Hindi movies from Priyadarshan. But what raised my curiosity to see Bhool Bhulaiyaa was, it had my all time favourite, Vidya Balan. Knowing that she is handling the core role made me even more inquisitive to see how she matches with Shobana, who acted Vidya’s part (To say, Vidya acted Shobana’s part would be more appropriate) in the original Malayalam version of the movie.The gifted bharathanatyam dancer and actor, Shobana.I still remember those days, years before when I was in school. It was a routine that on the evening of the last day of my exams, I and my parents would go out for movie and dinner. I loved those evenings. I used to feel such a relief, because I no longer have to worry about the studies, the exams are over and going out with my parents in our car to the city used to be a big deal for me. I would be so excited that during the drive I wou...

The Home Is Silent
2007-11-15 03:22:00
They look at me. No anger, but I see the pain. I know they are trying to swallow it down, trying to accept the reality. Yesterday, the last of the pups also found a new home and now only Papa-dog and Mama-dog are realizing that their children have been disappearing one by one.But the good news is that all four of them got nice homes, people who care for them. And the best part is, they won't be put in kennels. All four of them will have the freedom to roam around inside their houses just like ours. That's one thing we were concerned about; their freedom. It's amazing how different one's character can become if their freedom is snatched from them. I mean, when my parents went to bring home Papa-dog from my aunt, there was also his brother. All these years, my aunt raised him inside the kennel, and we brought up Papa-dog giving all the freedom he needs. Now if you see both the brothers, you would be amazed. His brother has become this tempestuous one where as Papa-dog has turned o...
More About: Home , Silent

The Sherwani And My Wedding
2007-11-13 18:31:00
Do you ever experience guilt after shopping? Well, I do. Especially after I shop for clothes. I will become this ferocious critic for spending money on them because I know pretty soon, I would lose interest in wearing them. Then, isn't this all just a waste of money? That is why I rarely go out for shopping. Also I'm pretty bad in choosing clothes that look good on me. But some occasions force you to go for shopping, like when you got to attend a wedding and that too especially if it is your cousin brothers'.This time, I chose to buy sherwani. It has been in my mind for quite a long time now to own one of those. I went there with the prospect of buying one, instead I came back with two! We checked out lot of sherwanis and ended up liking two of them. One had very nice artwork while the other was a rare colour with neat design and I couldn't just decide which one to reject. Wearing sherwanis is a different feeling altogether. They do give you a different look, a noble look. I al...
More About: Wedding

Blog Reviewed
2007-11-08 17:29:00
Crazy Sam’s Blog iness has articles written on a variety of themes. I was very pleased with the amount of pictures of good looking men on the site! The articles were well written and of a good length. There were a lot of film reviews and also general observations about life. I found it interesting and this sort of blog is not normally the sort of thing that I would read. I liked the layout but would have liked to have had the articles split into categories so it was easier to find an article on a particular subject.- Our Blog ReviewThank you Rachel for reviewing my blog. I was quite doubtful while submitting this blog for the review because I saw mine is not the type you had done the reviews on. So obviously I was surprised and excited when I saw your notification about the review. I am glad that you liked my site and its contents and I really appreciate for taking time to go through my blog. About the articles to be split into categories, I had thought of doing it. But what is put...

Tattoos And Piercings
2007-11-01 11:37:00
Pheobe messaged me asking about which ear if the guy do the piercing denotes him as gay. I messaged back saying 'right.' Out of curiosity, I asked why all of a sudden she wanted to know that. There is a guy in her office who pierced his left ear, so she was just inquisitive. I told her, now I am bit confused because I actually didn't know whether my answer was correct. Earlier during my pre-coming out days, Pheobe had asked me to wear a ring on the ear. And when I wore it on the right, she including my friends laughed and said that I was gay. I got the shock of my life then, but it was all fun, so nobody took it serious.The guy in her office, Pheobe says, now looks so uncool with the piercing. I personally distaste piercing and tattooing, especially the piercing. I think it is utter insaneness to have them. (Ever read about the harmful outcomes of having them?) But Phoebe loves tattooed guys. According to her, tattoo projects a statement about the person.. Huh!! Whatever that mea...
More About: Tattoos , Piercings

Chak De! India
2007-10-27 14:49:00
Some days before, as I was immensely immersed and enjoying the soccer match in She's The Man, a thought strike me. Would Bollywood be capable of creating a film which not just shows the game, but actually make the viewers feel the game. Of course there was Lagaan, but what about a full fledged sports movie? Bollywood can easily breed emotional dramas, but what about one that is an entirely sports-dedicated? Of course, the challenge would be then to make the audience engulfed in the game because the ending is already known and there is no point in watching if the game didn't appear exciting. Then that requires superb script, equally matching cinematography, sensitive direction, skillful acting and brisk stunts - a delicate combination because in such movies what matters most is the pace. If the pace is fast, the scenes can become leery. If the pace is slow, then it becomes a ho-hum.When I first heard about Chak De! India and what was it about (a coach determined to give the Indian ...
More About: Chak De India

The Realization
2007-10-18 15:38:00
The Year was 1998. Month, June. I was in 9th standard then. Another ordinary day and the class was going on. Then a new face stood on the door. He was so charming! I kept looking at his face and I couldn't just stop gazing at him. The teacher told us that he was a new student and she asked him to take a seat. Even though there was no space on my bench, I kept wishing to make him sit next to me. In the end, his eyes caught the vacant space on the bench behind me. "Damn it!"The class resumed. But I couldn't just concentrate like before. Something very different just happened inside me and it longed to look at his face one more time. So with much difficulty, I looked at him, but soon had to send my eyes towards the book. Again that strange feeling. God.. What is happening?? He is a guy for heaven's sake! But I had to look at him. This time he saw me. Busted! He didn't smile and I quickly buried my head in the book.During the break, while others were busy getting acquainted with him...
More About: Realization

A Love To Hide
2007-10-14 07:50:00
Last night, I cried myself to sleep. Those scenes kept on playing in my mind and I could feel the trauma that they must have experienced. I thought, how could man be so barbarous, how could anyone even have the nerve to think such sadist deeds. And before I knew, tears came rolling down my face..I usually don't cry after seeing a movie. Even if I feel down, it is very rare that I cry thinking upon it. But this one, I couldn't just pass it off as another emotional story. I know though the characters were fictious, the events weren't. Un amour à taire (A Love To Hide ) deals with the gay holocaust during the Nazi era. This is one truly amazing, heart wrenching and powerful film and as one viewer rightly puts it, "conveys much of what is worst and best of humanity set in 1942 during the upheaval of Nazi-occupied Paris."Honestly, I didn't know what this movie was all about because I never read the summery of movies fearing that I might bump into a spoiler and wreck the whole experie...

Is Internet Becoming Homophobic?
2007-10-08 16:03:00
Today I received a mail from Erik from RestoringLove.com that their web hosting provider closed access to the blog saying that there were indecent photos of men. According to me, those pics were truly eye-candy but never ever were they sexually explicit. They were all artistic, voguish and beautiful. In no way they were pornographic. So this is just yet another evidence of homophobia that is sweeping across the web for the past few months.To many people out here, there is no secure way to express their homosexual desires and blogs are supposed to be another medium representing the freedom of expression, giving people the opportunity to express their emotions to the world. For most of them, their blog means a lot. Their blog might be the only source to vent out their feelings and these blogs bear all the support and encouragement that they got from their friends. I have experienced it firsthand. I used to have a guilty feeling in me because of being a homosexual. But now, not at all,...
More About: Internet