Mrs. FlingerMrs. FlingerKnocked up mother of an active toddler wishing for a glass of wine ...or ten Articles
Six, That’s right, Six posts in one!
2008-05-09 04:00:00 © Mrs. Flinger 2008. This is a Russian roulette of blog posts. Take your pick! 1. Baby O takes his first step! 2. Baby O is diagnosed with his sixth double ear infection in four months. 3. Snacks on a plane: The perils of traveling with Cheeze-its. 4. The “ultrasounds cause autism” myth debunked: Via demonstration: 5. Spray tanning: How to create half moons of white flesh where your boobs lay across your chest during the mist. And, finally… 6: Why I’m going to Arizona with my “normal” three year old for four days and possibly missing my sons second step and seventh round of antibiotics and bringing snacks-on-the-plane with half moon white spaces from mystic tan: Totally worth it? Totally. Infant, traveling, first steps, OMG I’m Going ON A PLANE WITH A THREE YEAR OLD WTF More About: Posts
Laughing until I fart
2008-05-06 22:52:00 © Mrs. Flinger 2008. I just got my first, er, fifty-first piece of hatemail. The IP of 71.63.41.222 writes, “Dear Mrs. Fliger. I’ve known you wanted to be just like Dooce for years but you couldn’t hide it any better? Your web designs suck and your coding is awful and now your stealing ideas from Dooce’s website. Pathetic. Get your own fonts.” Hang on… Hang on… :: PPPPFFTTTTT :: Sorry, I’m laughing… so.. incredibly.. hard.. right… now.. I fart when I laugh. Didn’t you know that? My closest friends know that. I figured I’ve told The Internet that at some point or other. Or maybe I should show you video evidence? So thank you, 71.63.41.222, for reminding me to not work so much on those sucky designs that I don’t take the time to share ass-gas with The Internet. Thank you. P.S. Your is possessive. You’re is a contraction of YOU and ARE. Please take notes. P.P.S. I&... More About: Fart , Laughing
Baby Showers Everywhere!
2008-05-06 00:06:00 Happy Number Five to Mrs. Fussy Pants. Please go shower wonderful thoughts on Ali as she prepares for Boy #5. She’s a supermama fer sure, y’all. I’m honored to know her. Shower love and don’t forget there’s a tip jar for baby stuff, too. Who can say no to tips? (That’s TIPS, Internet. With a ‘P’. Get yer mind outta the guttah!) And our very own Her Bad Mother, Mrs. Chicky, and Mrs. Chicken are also having another baby, too, which comes with another shower. Go participate, ok? All the cool kids are. babyshower, More About: Baby , Showers
Adding ShareThis plugin to Advanced Typepad Templates
2008-05-05 12:42:00 © Mrs. Flinger. This is one of those nerdy posts I share that is based on experience and research. After looking for some answers and being very unsatisfied with the amount of information out there, I decided to share this here. If you’re looking for Brutally Honest Monday, I’ll be posting that in a bit. If you’re looking for my laugh-out-loud sense of humor and amazing writing ability, let me know if you find it. I’ve been working on that for years. Let’s get started. What you need 1. You’ll need advanced template access in Typepad . 2. A Share This script for your registered blog. 3. Some HTML knowledge. Basics The Typepad foundation uses Moveable Type tags. You’ll see a tag called that surrounds your posts. These tags are what list the posts on the page. There is an tag to close the post area. You’ll need to use these tags to place the ShareThis script in each post. If you look in your Main Index Advanced Templ... More About: Templates , Plugin
The Uncool Post
2008-05-01 16:53:00 © Mrs. Flinger 2008. How cool is it to talk about how you can’t talk? Or blog about your Not Blogging? Or talk about how busy you are at work but can’t talk about Work Stuff? If a blog post posted with nothing on it would anyone read it? Let’s find out. Things are, in a gigantic understatement, both busy, wonderful, and terrifying. I find myself buckling under stress put on by my own self and challenging myself to push through it. It’s a wonderful scary combination of personal growth, professional growth and change. I have my weak moments. I have my strong moment. I’ve cried in the coffee shop because of an IIS server and I’ve laughed out loud with Karen as we tackle jobs together. My children are changing as much as I am. They’re growing and learning and becoming their own people. LB now has the most hilarious things coming out of her mouth instead of the tantrums, hissyfits and grunts (we still have plenty of drama, to be... More About: Post
Seattle Copy Cats
2008-04-29 23:46:00 Seattle? We need to do this. WORD TO YER MOTHAH. (Cough) More About: Seattle , Cats , Copy
Keeping up with the Jonses (or at least the JCPenny Catalog)
2008-04-29 22:12:00 © Mrs. Flinger 2008. I like to think I’m a modern feminist. I’m all for equality. I believe in having choices, in being a Mother, a Wife, a Sister and a Daughter. I believe in having girl friends and in enjoying the people in your life. I believe in equal pay for equal jobs and I believe I can program a website even though “women don’t do computers.” I guess I believe I can have it all. I’ve come to realize something very upsetting. I can’t have it all. This should be obvious with the balls that get dropped or the dishes that don’t get clean or the emails that go unanswered. It should hit home when my daughter grips my arm to stay home instead of leaving her while I work or when my son lights up when I get home. I should catch a clue when my husband pulls me to the couch just to grab a moment in front of the TV together, to relax, to just BE. It should. Instead, it was the JCPenny catalog that really drove this concept ... More About: Catalog
Brutally Honest Monday: The One Where I Spill Family Secrets
2008-04-28 04:57:00 © Mrs. Flinger 2008. They say a family who eats at the table has children who don’t fall off the deep end, do drugs, become cereal killers and read three times faster. Or something. But I’d like to give you a teeny tiny glimpse in to the lives of The Flingers. This brutally honest Monday I ask for a peek in to your REAL life. And then I do the same. I was raised flipping off various family members at dinner. The Dinner Table was a place to fart, belch, flip off and cuss. We actually laughed. Sometimes we’d flip each other off, laugh and fart all before Mom could get us all dished up. Right between prayer and clearing the wine glasses, we’d talk about the day and then, inevitably, someone would say something and someone else would flip ‘em off. The tradition? It continues: And even Baby O played along, in his own way: And this, Internet, is why we don’t often have dinner guests. But if you come over? BYOB. (Bring. Your. Own... More About: Family , Secrets , Honest
Who’s yer daddy? (Er, Mommy?)
2008-04-28 04:56:00 Go nominate your blog hero! today. Yes, go go! I am! blogher, blog hero, blogging, mommy More About: Daddy , Mommy
Goonies, Baby, Goonies
2008-04-25 17:41:00 © Mrs. Flinger 2008. This week’s Friday Flashback comes to me in an email reading: What was the first movie you ever saw? What was your first notable movie memory? And what effect did it have on you? I wasn’t sure at first. I didn’t know if I’d get to play this week because how many people want to hear about how I sang “It’s a Hard Knock Life” to my record of the Annie Soundtrack when my Mother made me clean my room. (Oh, the horror! The ghastly angst!) Or how I lied and told people I was in the movie on the bus to school one day. They made me sing the entire soundtrack, which I did, and said I was the girl with the lisp. (Anyone care to tell me why I’d want to be the girl with the LISP? Seriously? Way to achieve, Leslie.) But then I remembered The Goonies. Remember The Goonies? Unless you lived, or live, in the northwest, preferably in SW Washington or NW Oregon, you might not. Having grown up in Houston, I’d never th... More About: Baby
The Real Stories
2008-04-23 18:34:00 © Mrs. Flinger 2008. I’m postponing today’s scheduled post. You’ll understand after you read these: Catherine replies on behalf of all mommy bloggers to those who hate. Erin talks about journalism and mommy blogger perception an the power of Web 2.0 after being blocked by a “techie”. The always amazing Jenny makes me spit out hot coffee when reading her recap of Puerto Rico and promises (Vowes even) to have a drink with me the next time I get to Houston. (That last part isn’t in the post itself, unless you read really closely, like Divinci code, in between the lines where it says, “Leslie? You and I are going for Margaritas the next time you come to Houston”. Didn’t you see that?) On Blissfully Domestic I post about the diets I’ve been on. Anne gives us a glimpse in to her daughter Emma’s insight. And finally, as we all watch and listen, we find out the power of the media and how we have the impact... More About: Stories , Real , Real Stories
Kids Art Auction for Charity!
2008-04-22 21:46:00 I think that sums it up nicely. Go forth! More About: Kids , Charity , Auction
The Flinger Family Goes Carbon Friendly
2008-04-22 20:41:00 © Mrs. Flinger 2008. Here are some fun ways The Flinger family has decided to embark upon “Going Green.” I think you’ll see that being green really isn’t as hard as Kermitt led you to believe. 1. Stop bathing your children. We are now only bathing once a week to save water, soap and the ecosystem. SMELLY FOR AMERICA! It’s written in grime across our children’s foreheads to spread the wonderful word of global consciousness. 2. Wear the same clothes more than once. I now do a quick sniff test. :: sniff sniff :: Yup! The clothing stinks less than the child! And away it gets packed in the drawer for use again. Save water, soap, the water system and energy. 3. Bonus to not bathing #2: Save on hair products! Forget Ozone-depleting Aquanet! Go enviro-friendly with your very own home-grown grease! Ponytails are held in place starting around day #3 without a wash. No gooey mess just all natural oils. 4. Go green with your food: Can’t... More About: Family , Carbon , Friendly
Brutally Honest Monday #3 Bring your opinions and snark
2008-04-21 20:11:00 © Mrs. Flinger 2008. It’s that time of the week again! Time for you to get judgey and tell me your opinion. (Yes, this is different than any other day of the week. See? I’m ASKING for it.) This one is easy: Keep? Or Toss? Exhibit 1: Old Navy sweater Circa 2000. Lime green with thick banding on waist and wrist. Comes to just below navel. Looks fab with high waisted pants. Except that I’m afraid the short preppy sweaters and high waisted pants aren’t in anymore. Unless you’re 56 and working in the principals office at the local elementary school. And then it’s hip if you were your white sneakers so you can walk on your thirty minute lunch break. Dude, I can know fashion. Exhibit 2: The Banana Republic “The Only Thing I Could Ever Afford There” shirt: It’s black, waist length (again! what’s with that?), with three quarter sleeve. If I lift my arms, mah VERY SEXAY belly pokes out just a wee bit. Hel... More About: Opinions , Honest , Monday
Can Someone with IE6 let me know if my site is ok?
2008-03-01 23:51:00 The site should look like this. Does it? If not, let me know. Thank you ooodles, dahlings. XO More About: Site
Being a mother changes you
2008-03-01 18:49:00 © Mrs. Flinger 2007. There are a few standard Saturday Morning experiences Mr. Flinger and I tend to dwell on: “Remember when we didn’t wake up at 6am on a weekend?” “Remember when we used to go out on Friday nights?” “Remember spending money on ourselves?” “Did we used to go hiking on the weekends?” “Didn’t we use to have sex /go to dinner / see a movie / shower every weekend?” Then we usually laugh, “Buhahaha. No, I don’t remember.” Perspective changes as often as the months of each year. Very few experiences in life truly and profoundly have the impact to change the steadfast ways of your rutted thoughts. Some days come in and out of memory blurred with every other and change is slow and gradual while other days grab you like the baby fist reaching up from your arms. Reading through Jessica’s account of her flashback, reminded me of something I’ve become a little ... More About: Mother
Don’t forget
2008-03-01 04:21:00 © Mrs. Flinger 2007. Don’t forget tonight is Blog Hoppin’. After this week? I’m all over it like rice on fly paper. Or something. Blog Hopping, Busy Dad
Flashback Friday: How Tiffany Changed My Life
2008-02-29 09:32:00 © Mrs. Flinger 2007. Remember those angsty years known as “The Eighties” and possibly “The Decade Following The Eighties” or even “The Decade Before The Eighties”? Because, frankly, if you remember The Eighties, you’ll remember they were loud, bossy, full of ozone-depleting sprays and makeup and really quite full of themselves. And now? We’re bringin’ it all back. (And by “we” I mean Sweetney and Her Bad Mother had a brilliant idea and let us play along.) Your first assignment (should you choose to play along and face it, you will) is to let us know how (obscure old pop rock band) changed your life. Mine is a story, of a girl, with a song in her heart about what could’ve been. As a typical eighth grade girl in 1988, I pined over a certain typical eighth grade boy: Steve Nelson Martin Jr. That’s right, I was in love with Steve Martin, only not the one with the big nose, the other much less f... More About: Life , My Life , Tiffany , Friday , Flashback
This is what you get if you have a wee wee bit of an obsessive personality
2008-02-26 17:10:00 You know my obsession with peeing on things? And you know how if you read me for more than, oh, three months you’ll come to a post that says something-ish along the lines of “man my boobs are big” and “boy I’m nauseated” and “so .. sniff .. emotional” and “Oh, woah, so tired...” and you know how you all collectively roll your eyes, point and laugh? Oh, you’re new here? You’re officially caught up. So, here it is: Your quarterly “I think I have to pee on a stick” post because,"boy I’m nauseated” and “hungryhungry hey, are you gonna finish that?” and “sniffsniff sobsob” and “oh, woah so tired...” Which can all be explained away by “too much coffee” and “diet?” and “nine month old not sleeping through the night.” But peeing is so much more fun. Stay tuned for the answer you already know. (Now is a great time to ... More About: Personality
Inspired
2008-02-25 17:24:00 © Mrs. Flinger 2007. This post comes just in time to remind me why I love my children in spite of our struggle. More About: Inspired
Why, thank you! Thank you very much!
2008-02-25 07:21:00 © Mrs. Flinger 2007. Guess who learned to clap? It’s like having my own personal audience all day long. And boy, I’m really impressive with cherrios in my teeth. And banging my forehead on the table. And barking like a dog. And… *it’s only 20 seconds of this because, seriously, it’s only cute for about 23 seconds if he’s not your own kid. Maybe 32 seconds for Grandma. *Also, one day I’ll write in complete sentences. *Not today. kids, video, parenting
For the last three people on the Internet who don’t already know
2008-02-22 23:14:00 Amy is pregnant. And I’m so happy I am teary. That’s what the Internet does for us, people. Resume your collective rejoicing now. amalah, pregnancy, sucky blog friends that don’t read because they work too much More About: People , The Internet
The problem with labeleling and google, which is not at all related
2008-02-22 03:39:00 © Mrs. Flinger 2007. We’ve hit a portion of time known in our circle as “the three-and-a-half-year-old” stage. ohdearmotherlivinghell. The “terrible twos”? A warm up. The teenage angst? Being foreshadowed. My mental health? On the wire. Tuesday we had what could only be referred as “a throwback to Rambo” There was yelling, fighting, dramatic throw-downs. This all in the first ten minutes of the day. She literally turned in to a fish out of water gasping for air because, ohgodforbid, her mother asked her to wipe her own bottom. That’s right, Internet, I forced my child to use her own toilet paper. IknowIknow. I see you shaking your head. Trust me. I disappoint many. The trouble with this behavior is that I don’t so much like it. And the trouble with not liking the behavior is that it’s not much of a stretch to feel like I don’t like the kid all that much just then. And the problem with not liking the kid jus... More About: Google , Problem , Related
Feminism barefoot in the kitchen
2008-02-16 04:40:00 © Mrs. Flinger 2007. I’ve been rolling around ideals about my identity for some time now. Struggling with my decision to stay at home. Struggling with the images I put in my daughter’s head. Struggling with a place for a strong, empowered woman in a traditional home context. I’m educated, I’m strong, I’m willful. I’m also a woman who cries, gets irrational and stays home to clean the house and care for her children. And I no longer think these things are mutually exclusive. I’ve recently started reading The Red Tent and find the role of women almost empowering. The community of females working together to care for the families; The work, actual hard labor, it requires to be in this role of caregiver: That alone is empowering. But to find a group of women, online and in person, who share your views, help raise your children, walk through life with you: that is where empowerment becomes confidence. And while I appreciate, and admi... More About: Kitchen , Feminism
Phat Mommy on Homeschooling
2008-02-15 17:42:00 © Mrs. Flinger 2007. Loved this comment on homeschooling. More About: Homeschooling , Mommy , Phat
V-day is for Valentines not Vagina
2008-02-14 17:54:00 © Mrs. Flinger 2007. “Mommy what is vagina meaning?” That’s the private part of your bottom. Nobody touches it except you. Where did you hear that word? “On the music in my room.” *** Mental note: Remove 107.7 from her pre-set radio stations. **** It’s the day of Love! It’s the day of chocolate and roses! Of which I got none! It’s not a big deal, really. We usually boycot V-day. But this year, feeling the joy of giving, I got Mr. Flinger one of those tiny boxes of chocolates. His reply? “Do I have to take it to work with me?” Uh,whu? So far this morning, I’ve done pretty thankless jobs. I’ve done things like let people in line, bow to others whims (can we say three year old drama queen?) and planned things for other people to feel loved and special. In return, I’ve not had a single “thank you” or “I love you”. So yes, take the farking chocolates with you. ... More About: Vagina , Valentines
School Rulz
2008-02-11 21:35:00 © Mrs. Flinger 2007. The assvice, it never ends. This morning I called a preschool to request a tour. The following is based on a true story. (Perhaps loosely, but still, based non-the-less) “What age is your child?” the lady on the phone asks. Uh, well, that’s a tricky question. “It is? What’s her birthday.” Well, see, it’s not until October but she’s really very smart and she’s already in a threes class right now and I’d really like her to continue on to preschool next year because she’s freakin’ brilliant and can not only spell her name and the name of all the presidential candidates but can also create hydrocarbons from fluoride. “We don’t believe in allowing children to go in to the level above. It’s per WA state guidelines. Think of High School !” (Here’s where I scratch my ass a bit and look around at my daughter running circles in a cinderella outfit. Hig...
Lucy, you have some ‘splaining to do: Or “I have no idea what a caucus
2008-02-09 06:24:00 © Mrs. Flinger 2007. When trying to figure out our events this weekend, we over-heard someone say the Washington State caucus was going on. “Caucus ?” I giggle. Heh. You said CAUCUS. No, really, I’m twelve. I actually do care, you know, about politics. I care deeply. I have my :: ahem :: opinions and I want to voice them in a dark room or behind a closed curtain with a #2 pencil and a bubble sheet. I remember voting in my younger years, basing a huge decision like WHO WILL RUN THY COUNTRY on things like, “well, this guy has lovely hair...” I know it’s silly. I’m aware that it’s not really helpful, but there’s a rush that happens when you think, for one defining moment, that you can change the fate of the world. The (echo THETHETHE) World (echo WORLDWORLDWORLD) So imagine my disappointment when I found out it wasn’t true. Did you realize that the little piece of ballot you submit for the primaries in Wash... More About: Idea , Lucy
Tonight I am thankful for my job
More articles from this author:2008-02-08 03:24:00 © Mrs. Flinger 2007. I’m grateful to have so much work to do tonight. Because the Man Baby, he has the RSV. THE RSV. The Really Snotty Virus. The Runny Shit Virus. The Rotten Stupid Virus of DOOOOOOM. I’m doing everything I can to not google “RSV and PREEMIE and NOW GIANT MAN BABY” because I’m afraid of what it’ll tell me. I’m hearing the nurses in the NICU rail OnAndOnAndOnAndOn “Don’t let him get sick” “Don’t let him get RSV” “Start praying to God now that he doesn’t get RSV” “You’ll shoot your eye out” It’s ok. We’re ok. He’s ok. In fact, the Doc (McHottie) thinks he’s had it for a while. So much so that he’s no longer contagious and should be out of the woods in a week or so. A week is a very very very long time in Baby Years. At his nine month “well” baby check he came in at 80% height (29 inches!) and 40% wei... More About: Tonight 1, 2, 3 |
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