Tiffs DayTiffs DayThis is a blog where I will talk about my life. Music, Life, Dating, My son, kids, love, Cell phones, cars, movies, video games, the internet, my job. You know. What ever seems to be taking place in my life on a day to day basis.
Articles:
1, 2
Articles
new Signs for My blog
2008-06-06 21:53:00 Below are a bunch more signs made for my blog! please... MAKE ME ONE. I seem to be lacking guy submitters! More About: Blog , Signs
I want to kill my neighbor
2008-06-06 14:47:00 For you long time readers, you know I bought a condo; one of those two bedroom redone, old building, way overpriced pieces of poopie.But, apparently the people next door like to play their music really loud... and have lots of sex... and have what sound like nightly "stilt, knock-me-over, battle-royals, while dropping marbles and moving tables". So here is my plan...Tonight, around 2am, I am going to put on black shoe polish and a ski mask. It is a little cold in my apartment right now(the mask will keep me warm) and my shoes are all scuffed up. Next i will get my gun. Unfortunately it is a super soaker, but it is one of the models with a backpack water supply. Then, the work comes.....I will drink 72 gallons of water and peeeeeeeeeeee and peeeeee and peeee. The urine will be collected into the super soaker. I will place the gun on the floor, take off the ski mask and put away my polished shoes.... THEN!!! REVENGE!!!!!I will scream (or maybe just say in a semi-louder then normal whi... More About: Kill
Ways to get me wet
2008-06-05 14:54:00 Here is a short list of ways, you... yes you, can get me very wet. Some of these things you can accomplish electronically. Other suggestions you must be close enough to touch me with a 10 foot pole. Please note, if the ten foot pole is located between your legs... I am not interested, I can't handle that.1. Cover my face with your juice- yes, if you take, say, a glass of OJ or Apple juice and toss it on my face, I will become wet. Really you could toss that juice anywhere on my body and I would get wet. I supose if you got it in my hair I would be a little mad, cause I just washed it.2. Lick my pusssy cat- You might get hair all over your tongue and in your teeth BUT, if you lick my cat, you may indirectly get me wet. She always comes over and rubs herself on my leg when i am sitting around. So, if she was all wet, I would get wet. She is a good little kitty cat.3. Toss me in a pool- Pretty self explanatory. Pick me up. Hoist me over your head and toss me in the pool! Maybe after ...
Barack Obama
2008-06-04 19:14:00 I understand you may not vote. I understand you might like McCain, I understand you may support the war, I understand you might believe a lot of things Bush told you, I understand you might like to put fluffy animals in shallow graves and cover them with your own feces. That doesn't matter to me. I am not going to talk about politics or how the primary is over and Hillary can't mathematically win but she isn't going to drop out until she gets a VP nod.I am not talking about any of that. I am just asking you to watch this very cool Barack Obama video... I don't think he authorized it, but I don't know.And, how long until Barack Obama shows up in my spell check.damn Microsoft.
I met a girl I'd like to know better
2008-06-04 19:08:00 Yes, i'm back, really back this time. like not he fake time that you thought I was back but really I wasn't back but now I'm back. not in the way that J lo's got back or i hurt my back lifting the piano... I'm back like, I'm back like, back in black. Yeah ACDC.. it makes no sense, but nothing makes sense does it! Who said it has to makes sense; I didn't... and have you seen a duck billed platypus?I'm back! More About: Girl
Snowballing
2008-05-29 15:19:00 SnowballingI hate my plow guy. I hate my plow guy; you know, the guy who comes to plow your driveway free of snow, well... we have a guy who plows our parking lot at my apartment. He is a jerk, pig, jerky pig.... you know, mean. Just plain rude. I would love to call him pighole.The other day we got a fairly big snow storm. The rules are "move your car to lot B by 7:00am on snow days and then move it back the next day." This means they plow one lot and then the other. Well, my car was in Lot b as I was trying to clean of the large amounts of snow. It was actually 7:01... then here comes the plow guys... ZOOM.. 3 feet of snowbank behind my car blocking my way. There is no way i would be able to get out.The plow comes back around and I wave him down...."what can I do for you pretty lady"-ugly plow driver"you just plowed me in, can you help me out, I don't have a shovel to get out" -Me"nope, can't help you out... you know the rules, you have to move your car" Ugly plow driver"But you ...
I peed in the snow
2008-05-28 16:50:00 I peed in the snowI took my son out and we played in the snow. We built a little fort and we ate some snow and we tried to spell our names in the snow. The problem was, he is not a great speller and I am not a great aimer. So I ended up with pee all over my snow suit (if you really think I peed with my son you are wrong)One of our neighbors came out with his kid and we all played together. My son gets along with his kid... but the guy always sort of weirds me out. You know when guys think they can use their dog to "pick up girls" I feel like this guy is doing it with his son.hey, if the guy was cute... maybe it would work.... but mister, who uses your kid, please keep your pee pee away from me. i am not interested in you trying to spell your name in my vagina. More About: Snow
Tips for guys: first dates part one
2008-05-28 16:20:00 Tips for guys: first dates part oneOk, so, I get asked a lot "what do you look for in a guy" Well, I am not really sure what I am looking for, but here is a list of what I am NOT looking for. These are things that you should NOT do if you want to F(*^ me on our first date.1. Don't answer your cell phone. You really don't need to be talking to anyone else. You don't need to act all cool, and pretend like you have lots of friends. Unless you are answering your phone to get away from our date... voice mail has a purpose.2. My breasts are big. I know that. They are very big. I know you like that. They are not however a place that you will stare every time you think I am not watching you. I am watching... if you stare; you'll never see them uncovered...3. As I have said my boobs are big... don't ask me what size they are. If you really need to know, don't ask, check the size on my bra tossed in the corner of your room at the end of the night. if you don't see my bra there; then I ... More About: Dates , Tips , Guys , Part
Tips for guys part two
2008-05-28 16:19:00 Tips for guys part twoIf you have not read part one.. go here now... NOW I SAID!!!tips-for-guys-first-dates-part-one .html6. Don't order for me or tell me what you think I should order. Unless the restaurants menu is all in a language I don't speak; I'll be fine in it is in English or Spanish... or Latin (I've dated a few priests). I have been ordering food from restaurants most of my life. You don't need to tell me what is good at applebees.7. Don't ask if you can kiss me... just come in for my lips(upper ones). If the answer would have been no, I'll duck out of the way and toss a kidney punch your way. If you are unsure if I want a kiss or not... then I don't want one. Take a risk. Your attempt for a kiss won't change my mind if I will see you again... I already decided that hours ago.8. If I say "no, I'll pay my own way" that means; Offer one more time to pay. If I still insist on paying my own way, it means... "I don't want to owe you anything, you are not getting into... More About: Tips , Guys , Part
all my old posts
2008-05-28 15:10:00 Wednesday, December 12, 2007Tips for guys part two If you have not read part one.. go here now... NOW I SAID!!!tips-for-guys-first-dates-part-one .html6. Don't order for me or tell me what you think I should order. Unless the restaurants menu is all in a language I don't speak; I'll be fine in it is in English or Spanish... or Latin (I've dated a few priests). I have been ordering food from restaurants most of my life. You don't need to tell me what is good at applebees.7. Don't ask if you can kiss me... just come in for my lips(upper ones). If the answer would have been no, I'll duck out of the way and toss a kidney punch your way. If you are unsure if I want a kiss or not... then I don't want one. Take a risk. Your attempt for a kiss won't change my mind if I will see you again... I already decided that hours ago. marketing8. If I say "no, I'll pay my own way" that means; Offer one more time to pay. If I still insist on paying my own way, it means... "I don't want to owe... More About: Posts
ok... time to bring this baby bback.....
2008-05-20 14:40:00 i'm going to start posting again More About: Baby , Time
How to poop
2008-03-10 18:15:00 First... or should i skip right to number two? That is right folks, I am reduced to poopy jokes. POOP. I don't know why, but poop is so freaking funny to me. I guess it isn't funny when you actually see it, like floating in your bowl after a friend used it... that is just sick. But saying poopies or poop or even Bum, is extremely funny. Don't worry though, i will not be posting pictures of my More About: Poop
i cut myself
2008-03-07 14:57:00 So, i was about to shave. My pits, my legs.. further up my legs... and umm... yeah. But that is not the story. I picked up the razor. This is an activity that should not require much talent. I mean, I have opposable thumbs; any monkey-brained fool could do it. Or well, not a monkey, but ya know what I mean. So there I go, all set to grab the razor and I loose focus. I start thinking about Spam.
Snow removal
2008-03-06 14:12:00 As I sit here in my room, I am looking out my window. Ok, I lied, I am not looking out my window right now; right now I am looking at a computer monitor. Ok, I lied again. I am actually looking at my hands as I type. I was never a good typer and I don't follow the correct technique. Pinkies are made for picking your nose, not for hitting the "a" and "l" on your keyboard. But as always, I am More About: Snow
ANA
2008-03-05 22:59:00 I am going to be bloggoing again... daily.. tell your friends. No fiends? OK, don't tell your friends. tell strangers. Run up to them and say "hey, tiff is blogging again" then run away. they may call the cops on you, or put you in a small padded room... but hey, satisfaction always comes with some sort of price. I mean, the Rolling stones could never get any and look at how long they have been
CALL ME
2008-02-26 20:45:00 and leave me a voice mail!!! 1(641)715-0101 then *5942893 More About: Call
The Doctor
2008-02-26 15:13:00 The Doc I have is really nice. I can't help but think though that he gets off on saying "when I come back I want all your clothing on that chair and you should be wearing 'this'" The "this" that he hands me is always smaller and smaller and more translucent then the last one. Why can't they have johnnies that are like burlap sacks.... and warm. OR. let me keep my damn clothing on. You are More About: Doctor
Sorry
2008-02-25 16:44:00 So, I've been very busy lately. So I have not had a chance to post. I was actually in the hospital; Or well, not in the hospital but NEXT to the hospital. It had nothing to do with my cancer... I got my wisdom teeth out. Wa hoo. I have been on perkasets (spelling?) whatever it is... lots of drugs and stuff. I was in a drugged out coma for the past few days. It has been fun.
bad news
2008-02-15 17:51:00 90 bad news; very bad news... the worse news. I have been trying to decide since yesterday what to do. I don't think I will be able to really decide what to do for a long time. I quit my job. (sort of.. extended leave of absence) The doctors had very bad news. The cancer, that appeared to ONLY be a small section in my ear canal and localized... was not. it grew up past my ear canal into my More About: News , Bad News
I sing
2008-02-13 17:32:00 i am a singer.... sort of. yeah.. sort of. I cover my singing inabilities with a nice rack. Here is a short clip captured by a Cell phone... yeah, I know. Great quality. So, what do you think? Can I sing? yes no, maybe? Do I suck? More About: Sing
I have Cancer
2008-02-12 16:37:00 I went to the doctors yesterday. I have cancer. Yippee! Isn't that grand! And no, I do not have a cool cancer like; breast cancer or colon cancer or brain cancer or anything that has people doing special "walks" to raise awareness. I have ear cancer. Cancer of the ear. In my EAR!!! What? exactly. Huh? Some of you may be saying "how do you get ear cancer, can i get it by touching you? bad eating
How to dump your Boyfriend
2008-02-08 18:36:00 How to dump your Boyfriend or Girlfriend and then date me!!!! a complete idiots guide with step by step instructions please note, some steps are dangerous and some steps are missing... and other steps are more complicated then the two-step or a side step or a stepsister. I even would almost compare them to a step aerobics class with Richard Simmons... i would ALMOST do that comparison... but I
Ways to Get *&(*&ed
2008-02-07 18:24:00 Here are a few rules on how to score a man... or a chick... whatever. 1. First Don't have high standards. High standards will always reduce you ability to bed a fellow. 2. Panties were made to be left at home. You want your man to know that you mean business. If he sees a pantie line; forget it; He already will have his hands all over your roomate, even if you don't have one. 3. Flirty Eyes.
I lOVE myspace
2008-02-05 18:27:00 I am not sure why but I have become addicted to Myspace . I spend a good 20 hours a day on it.(ok not that long really) but I still LOVE IT. I think it is all the guys that don't ask to see my boobies and acutally hav a conversation with me. Either that or it is the way i can make friends fairly easy. or the questions revolving if I am a T girl. come be my friend http://myspace.com/tiffcomi More About: Love
Help the Environment
2008-02-01 17:35:00 tiff2000.info/google.html tiff2000.info/google.html tiff2000.info/google.html tiff2000.info/google.html tiff2000.info/google.html tiff2000.info/google.html CLICK THE LINK!!!!! This Google page uses black instead of White as a background! (follow that link) an all white web page uses about 74 watts to display, while an all black page uses only 59 watts. I thought I would do a little math and More About: Environment , The Environment
I won the lottery
2008-01-31 14:40:00 Seriously... this is not a joke. You know, I didn't win the BIG BIG prize BUT I WON!!!! A slightly smaller prize then "the millions." But when you win money you can not really be picky! I don't normally play the lottery or any gambiling type thing but I thought... ok, ok lets just play this one time. Then, there i was sitting on my couch and I am screaming!!! My mom was there and thought maybe More About: Lottery
not feeling well
More articles from this author:2008-01-30 18:42:00 I am very sad today. Normally I deal well with all the hate mail. i don't let it bother me.. but today... I've gotten a lot. People just telling me how pathetic I am. How much people don't care about me. How, if this is my life, I need to kill myself. Well... I don't know what I did to them. I've never been anything but kind to almost everyone. I am really sad. Depressed...lost... crying. tears More About: Feeling 1, 2 |
 |
|
 |
