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Bullets! With Butterfly Wings*
2008-04-10 05:51:00
My favorite post titles come from songs. Like this one. It’s a spin on Bullet With Butterfly Wings * by Smashing Pumpkins. You know, “Despite all my rage I’m still just a rat in a cage!” My spin on the lyrics would be: “Despite all my whining I’m still just a pregnant ...
More About: Mommy , Stuff , Lists

For Those About To Pretend To Rock, I Salute You
2008-04-08 00:22:00
Julia actually took a nap today. A NAP! Alright, it isn’t as WOOOHOOO!!! as it sounds because she’s not feeling well. But that didn’t stop me from drooling and convulsing over the prospect of a little time all by myself. My mind was frantic - what would I do? Finish ...
More About: Rock , Mommy , Stuff , Salute

Sweet As Honey
2008-04-06 02:27:00
Today was picture day at Julia ’s dance studio. It will be a few weeks before we get the professional pictures back, but here’s a shot I snapped in the parking lot of my little bee in her recital costume. This was one of the few moments she wasn’t sticking her butt out and threatening to ...
More About: Photos , Mommy , Stuff , Sweet

Me And My Uterus: Menaces To Society
2008-04-04 22:44:00
My pregnancy is almost over. I am scheduled to see my doctor three more times, the last of which I will return home with a baby. Yay! But, I am scared. My reasons for being afraid vary from day to day, sometimes even hour to hour. Last night, I spent a good ...
More About: Society , Mommy , Stuff

A Post In Which I Am A Jerk And Julia Puts Me In My Place. You Know, The U
2008-04-03 19:10:00
I love to be right. It’s one of my worst qualities. Over the years, I’ve gotten better about it. I don’t enjoy being right any less, I just keep my little “I WAS RIGHT” celebrations to myself now. For the most part. Still, I enjoy hearing, “Leslie, you were right.” Except for today. Last night, as we were winding down for bed, Julia was doing a real good job of being three. She was running around like an animal, swinging one of her sock monkeys as she went, blazing a trail of destruction. Additionally, she was suffering a temporary loss of hearing as she was the only one that wasn’t affected by the high-pitched squeals she was emitting and she was unable to follow any type of instruction I gave her verbally. So, by the time we were ready to head up to bed, my nerves were pretty raw and I was a little on edge. The last thing we do downstairs before bedtime is feed the fish. It’s been very important for Julia to do it &ld...
More About: Post , Jerk , Place

How Do I Know When It’s Love?*
2008-04-03 02:33:00
Fifteen years ago, if you would have asked me how I would know if I were really in love, I would have spewed a bunch of crap that included phrases like “soul mates,” “feeling complete,” “grand gestures,” and “it’s just a feeling.” I may have talked about “growing old together,” without even really understanding what it means to get older. I definitely would have said something about “romance.” Because I was kind of dumb. Today, having reached the point in my pregnancy where I am so big that I can’t reach my own ass to wash it, I have a better idea of what love is. I now know the approach I’m going to take with Julia as she gets older, wants to date and dreams of falling in love. I’m not going to blow smoke about that magical moment when her father and I met and I just knew we were meant to be. I’m not going to sum our relationship up with tales of our first kiss, how he rescued...
More About: Love

Mr. T Says, “Quit Your Jibba Jabba! This Is Motherhood, Fool!”
2008-04-01 06:31:00
It’s a wonderful opportunity to meet some brilliant mothers; to celebrate, learn from and be inspired by our differences, while drawing strength and support from the common ground we share. I am so proud to introduce you to April’s featured mother: my very good friend, Amy Hicks. I was absolutely delighted when Amy agreed to write about her motherhood experience for This Is Motherhood . Although she doesn’t have a blog…yet (hint hint, double hint), she has a wonderful way with words. What is more, she’s an incredible mother, a generous friend and a beautiful, open-hearted individual. She is down-to-earth and genuine, and makes the best chocolate chip cookies I’ve ever eaten in my life. I’m grateful to know her, and I believe you will be, too. So be sure to click and read her column after this friendly little interview. Leslie: What is the best parenting advice you’ve ever received? What is the worst? Amy: I don’t know that ...
More About: Fool , Quit

Full Term Pregnancy: A Haiku And A Poll
2008-03-31 05:56:00
Labor contractions kept me up all night last night False, but still painful. I’ve finished my 37th week of pregnancy and Lucy is nice and big, which means this pregnancy is considered full term. My body is whispering: this baby is almost ready to come. I’m having a lot of false labor; it’s irregular, but ...
More About: Pregnancy , Mommy , Stuff , Poll , Haiku

You May Say I?m A Dreamer*
2008-03-30 05:58:00
It’s another Buck The Monkey weekend. There’s chocolate peanut butter monkey love exploding all over the place here. So, I’ve got photos. Check it out. How would you feel if this showed up on your doorstep? And then you opened it up and realized, “Holy Heck, those are Leslie’s Buckeyes!!!” Would you totally love that? ...
More About: Photos , Mommy , Stuff , Dreamer

Mamaaaaa! Oooooo.*
2008-03-28 23:08:00
So, I’m “Mama” again. About a year and a half ago, Julia officially began calling me “Mom.” I blogged about it. Back before I had readers. Or even knew how to center my photos. Now, we’re back to “Mama.” I know this because she repeats it exactly six times before she’ll ...
More About: Mommy , Stuff

Need To Resuscitate Your Love Life?
2008-03-25 23:40:00
Check out Dave’s guest post over at Smoke & Mirrors. Advertisement: Leslie & Julia’s Favorite Things Store Buy the stuff we like best.
More About: Life , Love , Love Life

The Bizarro Mommy
2008-03-25 03:38:00
This morning, Julila woke up and came stumbling to the table where I was working and said, “I had a dream last night.” “What did you dream, Honey?” “I dreamed that you sold all my Easter treats.” “Well, that sounds like a bad dream.” “Yeah. It wasn’t very nice.” “No, it wasn’t.” “You should say sorry.” “Well, it was a dream. I didn’t really sell your Easter treats.” “You should still say you’re sorry.” “Okay…well, I’m sorry I sold your Easter treats in your dream.” “That’s okay. You won’t do it again.” Now I know how Dave feels. Advertisement: Hey Cool Kids! Get your My Mommy ’s Place Gear here.
More About: Bizarro

Ew! Ew! Icky-Poo! Yuck!
2008-03-23 23:28:00
At this point in my life, I have few illusions about my appearance. I look how I look and I’m pretty much okay with it, save for one particular feature: skin tags. I have skin tags. On my neck. And I dislike them very, very much. The first one popped up when I went to college - I gained the freshman fifteen and some extra skin. Another appeared after I got married. When I got pregnant with Julia, all hell broke loose. And now? It looks like I have about fifteen tiny brains growing out of my neck. If only they served to make me smarter. I visited the doctor prior to getting pregnant with Lucy about having them removed. She took a look and said, in layman’s terms, “Dude, those are so freakishly big and plentiful that you need to see a specialist.” So I did. The specialist told me, in layman’s terms, “I really don’t want to remove these from you because, first of all, you’re kind of fat and as long as you’re fat...
More About: Yuck , Icky

My Radical Little Feminist
2008-03-22 14:36:00
Julia has declared that she will no longer listen to music sung by boys because she only likes songs that girls sing. She’s in a very Pat Benetar kind of place right now, musically. I pointed out that her current favorite song - Build Me Up Buttercup - is sung by boys. She responded ...
More About: Mommy , Stuff , Julia , Radical , Feminist

The Fine Print Of Wish-Making
2008-03-21 19:14:00
Last night, my parents took Julia and me out to dinner. On the way home from the restaurant, Julia was looking out the car window, admiring the full moon when she noticed a star. “Mom! Mommy ! There’s a wishing star! A wishing star! We all need to make wishes. Okay? ...
More About: Stuff , Print , Fine

Ups And Downs
2008-03-20 05:28:00
Yesterday, our playgroup visited one of our local nursings homes. The kids dressed up as princesses, ballerinas and football players. They sang If You’re Happy And You Know It and played Ring Around The Rosie for the residents. They handed out a combination of tissue paper flowers we had made at a ...
More About: Mommy , Stuff , Julia

And It’s All Thanks To Doubting David And His Infectious Incertitude
2008-03-19 04:34:00
A few weeks ago, I asked my doctor if there was any chance that I’d get to have another ultrasound before Lucy’s birth. She said, “It isn’t likely. Your pregnancy is going along wonderfully. We will only do another one if it is medically necessary.” At my last baby appointment, I asked my doctor to expound upon the phrase “medically necessary.” She talked about “risk” and “problems.” And I said, “So what if my problem is that my husband’s life is at risk if I don’t get another ultrasound to double check the gender of this child?” She laughed. I didn’t. When we were told that we were having a girl at my 20 week ultrasound, we accepted it as fact. The ultrasound technician said she was certain it was a girl and I saw proof of that with my very own eyes. From that point forward, we called our unborn child by the name we’d chosen should she be a girl: Lucy. We purchased littl...
More About: David

30 Days To Go
2008-03-17 04:38:00
Advertisement: Hey Cool Kids! Get your My Mommy ’s Place Gear here.
More About: Photos , Stuff , Julia , Days

Cause They Don?t Know ?Bout Us, They?ve Never Heard Of Love*
2008-03-16 03:37:00
Four years ago today, Dave and I stood in front of the Mayor at City Hall and made our agreement to be joined for life legal. I was pregnant with Julia. I had been divorced from my first husband about a minute; Dave had been divorced about a minute and a half. ...
More About: Love , Mommy , Stuff , David

Now We Are Civilized
2008-03-15 00:49:00
Dave and I now have a bed. Don’t get me wrong - we weren’t spending our nights in sleeping bags on the ground or anything. But, we have been sleeping on a mattress and box springs resting right on the floor since we broke our metal bedframe on Valentine’s Day, 2004. (Yeah, ...
More About: Mommy , Stuff , Civilized

I Am Not A Superhero. I Am A Human Being.
2008-03-13 17:03:00
I am 35 weeks pregnant and feeling completely useless. Oh, I know. I’m growing a baby. I’ve got the big, important job of baking that bun in my oven. But that’s about all I’m doing right now. I am tired like I’ve never been tired before. Yet, this doesn’t stop me ...
More About: Human , Mommy , Stuff , Superhero

Never Underestimate The Power Of Knocking On Wood
2008-03-11 23:22:00
You know how making bold statements that begin with words like, “I never…” is kind of a bad idea? Well, so is saying that you’ve prayed for the health of your children, because right after I wrote that in my last post, there was an injury. It seems praying for the health of ...
More About: Power , Photos , Mommy , Stuff , Julia

Perspective
2008-03-06 22:40:00
I saw a man I will never forget as I checked out at Wal-Mart yesterday. He was tall, handsome and hurried. He had a bluetooth headset hanging from his ear and an armload of items in his shopping cart, which is why I chose to check out at that register; it looked as if it’d be a short wait. I quietly distracted Julia from the candy display and listened half-heartedly as the cashier chatted with the man. They seemed to know each other. He was nearly checked through and I had begun unloading the contents of my cart onto the conveyor belt when the cashier asked him, “Aren’t you guys expecting a baby?” I looked up at that word: Baby. Now they had my full attention. The man was going to be a Daddy. I wanted to look at his face. I wanted to give him that knowing smile. But he didn’t look my way. He hung his head and said, “Um, yeah…we were.” The smile faded from my face as I listened. “The baby came early, around six mon...
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There’s No Place Like The IGA
2008-03-05 21:30:00
Julia: Hey Mom, when are we gonna be done living at this house? Me: Well, hopefully not for a long, long time. Actually, this is where I’d like to live for the rest of my life. Julia: Oh…’cause I’m tired of living here. Me: Where would you rather live? Julia: At the IGA. Me: Why? Julia: It’s lots of fun there. They have everything at the IGA. Me: Your toys aren’t at the IGA. Julia: I could play with the food there, before I eat it. Me: There’s no television at the IGA. Julia: That’s okay. They play music all the time. Me: Where would you sleep at the IGA? Julia: On the floor. Me: Wouldn’t you be lonely there all by yourself at night? Julia: No. You can come live there with me. Me: I’d rather not. I’d rather live here. Julia: Ugh…okay. We’ll just live here. Advertisement: Got opinions? Take an online survey today for a chance to win $5,000.
More About: Place

On Why Our Marriage Works
2008-03-04 23:15:00
Some people say that there is a child living inside each of us; psychologists refer to this childlike aspect of our personality as our inner child. My husband’s inner child is about twelve years old. I know this because he has a special sort of radar, which is activated in every boy upon the onset of puberty, that enables them to pick up on every word with even the slightest potential for crude or sexual meaning. Here are a few examples of the radar in action. I say: “You know, that was a difficult time in my life. It was really hard on me. Dave says: “You said hard on.” I say: “He felt like it was his duty to carry it out.” Dave says: “You said doody.” I say: “That’s on oldie, but goodie!” Dave says: “You said butt goodie.” I always laugh along with him, because honestly? It’s funny. But, it’s always been his thing. Then, the other night, Dave was in a bit of a funk. There was n...
More About: Marriage , Works

Into The Great Wide Open*
2008-03-03 17:25:00
Today is a big day. I feel a lot like I did while interviewing for my first “real” job out of college. I’m excited, yet terrified. I want this opportunity to live up to every expectation, but am fearful about the change it will bring. I barely slept last night. ...
More About: Open , Great , Mommy , Stuff , Julia

Everytime The Phone Rings, I Pray To God It?s Not* You**
2008-03-02 19:34:00
Every day, I get a phone call, if not phone callS (did you get that plural?), for someone I do not know. She doesn’t live at my house. She has never lived at my house. But she was the previous owner of my current phone number. Her name is P****a M****r. ...
More About: Phone , Mommy , Stuff , Rings , Pray

Motherhood According To Suz
2008-03-01 06:13:00
It’s a new month, so that means there’s a new edition of the feature column: It’s a wonderful opportunity to meet some brilliant mothers; to celebrate, learn from and be inspired by our differences, while drawing strength and support from the common ground we share. I am really excited to introduce you to this month’s ...
More About: Motherhood , Mommy , Stuff , Place

Who Needs American Idol When I?ve Got This?!
2008-02-28 23:25:00
Ever since her date with Daddy at the library a few weeks ago, Julia has been singing “Build Me Up Buttercup,” a song from a CD they borrowed together that day. I finally caught one of her performances on video. It’s one minute and forty four seconds you won’t regret watching. Especially around 0:53. Advertisement: ...
More About: Videos , American Idol , Mommy , Stuff

Your Butt Is Wide. Well, Mine Is, Too. Just Watch Your Mouth. Or I?ll Sit
2008-02-28 05:36:00
One of the benefits of having to have a planned c-section is that you know exactly when the baby is coming. And that means, you can have a countdown. Julia and I made our own Countdown to Lucy the other day. All it took to make it was two pieces of cardboard to serve as a ...
More About: Watch , Mommy , Stuff , Wide , Mouth