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New post on Anti-Racist Parent
2007-12-31 17:16:00
Read my new post about black girls and beauty image on the blog Anti -Racist Pare nt . Those of you who have been reading What Tami Said since the beginning will recognize some parts of this essay from an earlier post I did here on my decision to wear my hair naturally.
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A Year of Living Consciously
2007-12-29 21:44:00
I think our society is being done in by desire. We are surrounded by so much more than plenty, so many bright, shiny and super-sized things to sway our attention from our personal goals and the best interests of the local and world community. It is easy to spend our whole lives grasping at pleasure and instant gratification, until we realize that the things we truly want are no longer within our reach.A man dreams of retiring comfortably to a houseboat in Key West to write the great American novel, but he buys the expensive SUV, 3,000-square-foot house with a big, hi-def flat screen in the living room, and takes expensive vacations to keep up with the Joneses, underfunding his 401k and saving little. Eventually, he is working simply to maintain his lifestyle, wondering if retirement will ever be possible.A woman counts on an active, healthy body to carry her to old age. But nothing feels better after a stressful day at work than collapsing in front of the TV with a three-piece meal ...
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WAOD's African American Women: Where We REALLY Stand series has begun
2007-12-29 12:35:00
The first post is an essay that I wrote called The Black Women I Know. Check it out and look for the rest of this series. You all know Gina's site is a must-read.
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Consumer companies sell self esteem to women
2007-12-29 11:00:00
I told you I was skeptical about big consumer corporations like Unilever and Proctor and Gamble promoting self esteem to women. Why? Check this out:Corporations exist to make money, period. And smart advertisers know how to capitalize on zeitgeist. Today it is in vogue to talk about real beauty and women loving themselves. You know I am down with that. But I am wary of companies that want to "sell" my self esteem back to me, while inferring that my "real" beauty is dependent on a bar of soap, cellulite-smoothing lotion, make up, perm relaxer or shampoo.Michelle Gillett said it best in a Boston Globe op-ed:"Unilever is in the business of selling products, not values, and thatmeans we, the consumers, are being manipulated, no matter how sociallyresponsible an ad seems." SOURCEUPDATE: Mes Deaux Cents alerted me that Unilever also sells skin-lightening creme to women in India and Africa. Check out this sickening ad below for Fair & Lovely. (Sorry that the blog has been so video heav...
More About: Women , Companies , Consumer , Self Esteem , Sell

It's (the last) feel good Friday!
2007-12-28 18:15:00
It is the last Friday of 2007 and the last ever Feel Good Friday on What Tami Said. I began this regular feature as a way to ensure that my blog didn't descend into a morass of negativity. But I think the blog has evolved since its early days (really just four months ago) and I am more balanced in the topics I cover. (Thanks to Hochma and Musar's Week of Positive Blogging for setting me on a more enlightened track.) I don't think it is necessary to designate Friday in particular as a day to share positive stories and insights.   So, as my final Feel Good Friday post, I thought I would share a favorite passage by Walt Whitman from his preface to Leaves of Grass. When I first read these words, I was exhilarated. This is how I want to live my life! The quote is printed on a magnet in my kitchen. The old rubber looks dull against the bright, white refrigerator, but I can't take it down. The words are too important.   "This is what you shall do...

Unity, women rule in Kenyan village
2007-12-28 03:26:00
Have you heard of these courageous women?Learn more about Umoja Uaso's Women 's Village here and here.
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Pakistan ex-Prime Minister Benazir Bhutto assassinated
2007-12-27 18:32:00
BENAZIR BHUTTOJune 21, 1953-December 27, 2007"It was not the life I planned, but it is the life I have. Myhusband and children accept and understand that my political responsibilities tothe people of Pakistan come first, as painful as that personally is to all ofus. I would like to be planning my son's move to his first year at college laterthis month, but instead I am planning my return to Pakistan and my party'sparliamentary election campaign.I didn't choose this life. It chose me." -- Benazir Bhutto, former prime minister, Pakistan, in a blog post on Huffington Post, prior to her return to her home country.I am sad for my brothers and sisters in Pakistan today. Watching the turmoil in the streets following the assassination of Benazir Bhutto, I couldn't help thinking how difficult it must be to live in constant social and political chaos. Imagine being a child listening to a car explode just outside your door. Imagine being a young woman living in the part of the country now ...
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Why we gotta be so mean?
2007-12-25 16:25:00
I have expanded the mission of my Year of Consuming Consciously, which begins Jan. 1. Not only will I attempt to be more thoughtful about how I spend my money, I will also be attentive to what I consume with my mind. I've been noticing that a lot of what passes as media and entertainment these days causes me psychic pain. Maybe the change is in me; I just notice it more. Maybe the change is in the world. But when did we as a society get so mean?Oh, I know meanness has been around since the world was born. Dark is the natural companion to light. In a world history that includes the crucifixion of Jesus, the Spanish Inquisition, the Crusades, the genocide of Native Americans, the Salem witch trials, the Holocaust, ethnic cleansing in Bosnia, the enslavement of generations of Africans and black Americans, and other atrocities...well, let's just say my generation didn't invent coldness, selfishness, hatred, spite and evil. But nowadays, we seem to take special joy in negativity.The I...
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Peace on Earth
2007-12-25 15:36:00
Happy Holidays to you and yoursPhoto courtesy of Cayusa at Flickr. Image protected by Creative Commons license. Click here for usage restrictions.
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Family is beautiful
2007-12-24 17:29:00
...especially the bond between mothers and daughters.We learn how to be women from our mothers and they learn from theirs and so on and so on.I think Mommy learned from Grandmama (Accent on the last "ma." If she were here, she would want me to make that distinction) how to be nurturing and loving, how to be an unbeatable cook, and how to make every member of the family feel special, especially around the holidays. I learned from Mommy how to be smart, independent, a reader and a good writer. (The cooking and nurturing bit, I'm still working on.) But a lot of the things I love today and the things I love about myself, I got from my mother.Today, being Christmas Eve, is probably a good day to say thank you to your mom, wherever she is. She may be slaving in the kitchen, cooking up collards and cornbread dressing for tomorrow's dinner. She could be out battling the crowds doing last minute shopping for the kids and grandkids. Chances are that she is somewhere being selfless. That's ...
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Listen up!
2007-12-22 20:33:00
Writers' strike got you down? You know there are other places to look for entertainment besides the boob tube. How about some aural pleasure in the form of podcasts? Since I got an iPod and logged on to iTunes, I've been hooked and amazed at what technology will allow amateurs to create. Here are some of my favorites:Hometown TalesI get tired of podcasts easily, but not this. It was the first one I ever downloaded and it's still a can't-miss. Every town has local legends, folklore, ghost stories and odd culture. Hear the latest bizarre news and tales from around the world from Gene and Bryan.Black Women's RoundtableIf you are a fan of the blog What About Our Daughters, then you know how Gina the Warrior Princess does it. You'll always find great information and debate here, and you can hear some of your favorite bloggers, including Symphony of Essential Presence, Attorneymom from Character Corner, DJ Black Adam, Professor Tracey, and sometimes, even moi. You can hear this broa...
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Erasing race
2007-12-20 22:20:00
Where racism is concerned, our attention has the disturbing tendency of being confined to transgressions against "our own." Many black bloggers took Andrew Young to the woodshed over recent comments about Barack Obama, but how many mentioned Young's insensitive description of Obama's Indonesian stepfather as "a Chinese?" Where do white feminists stand on mainstream hip hop's denigration of black women? How vocal were Latino activists during Nappyheadedhogate? While black folks lament the poverty and despair in the urban ghetto, do they care about the poverty and despair on the reservation? How much compassion do American-born people of color have for the men and women in underdeveloped countries, who manufacture our clothes and trinkets for a pittance? Post 9/11, when irrational voices slandered American Arabs and Muslims, did Asian Americans speak out against bigotry? Or are we all largely silent when the preju...
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Would you kiss a Republican?
2007-12-20 03:26:00
Or, if you are a Republican , would you cuddle up to a Democrat? What I'm really asking is, how serious are you about your political affiliation? Are you die-hard in your beliefs or fluid? Does race help dictate your choices in the voting booth? Do you consort with friends from the other side?My political beliefs are progressive and 99.9 percent of the time that leads me to vote for a Democrat. Surprise, surprise, I'm a black woman who is a Democrat. But really, it's not about race. I don't believe in being a knee-jerk anything. I pay attention to where candidates on both sides weigh in on issues that are important to me. I watch the debates, read the papers, visit the Web sites, debate with friends. As a public relations professional, I think I am pretty good at cutting through the spin and bullshit to extract the real story. I like to believe I am an open-minded and informed voter.Here's the thing though, I find myself becoming less tolerant of Republican and conservative beli...
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Increase your vocabulary; feed the world
2007-12-19 02:04:00
When I heard about www.freerice.com this morning on NPR's The Bryant Park Project, I knew this was a Web site for me. Imagine, a chance to feed the world's hungry and become a big smartypants in the process. This addictive Web site quizzes visitors on vocabulary words. For every definition you get right, the site donates 20 grains of rice to the United Nations World Food Program (WFP). The rice is paid for by companies who advertise on the site. To date, freerice.com has given away more than 9 billion grains of rice.Freerice.com is the sister site to www.poverty.com, which explains:About 25,000 people die every day of hunger or hunger-related causes,according to the United Nations. This is one person every three and a halfseconds. Unfortunately, it is children who die most often.Yet there is plenty of food in the world for everyone. The problem is thathungry people are trapped in severe poverty. They lack the money to buy enoughfood to nourish themselves. Being constantly malnouri...
More About: Vocabulary , The World , Feed

Leadership in the post-black era
2007-12-18 02:39:00
Check out "The Obama Effect" in the December 31 issue of The Nation, where Gary Younge contrasts new generation black politicians like Sen. Barack Obama, Massachusetts Governor Deval Patrick, Newark Mayor Cory Booker and others, to the old guard: Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, et. al.Younge says today's black leaders differ from their forbears in that they have no first-hand involvement in the civil rights movement. In fact, they may not even have a real connection with civil rights touchstone events. (Barack Obama was just two years old when Martin Luther King gave his "I Have a Dream" speech). Unlike Jackson and Sharpton, new leaders are not rooted in the black church or other organizations that have an "organic link with the black community." Today's prominent black politicians are drawn from "academe, corporate America and elite universities." In other words, rather than being part of the civil rights movement of the 60s, the new guard are products of that movement.According to Y...
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Rebuttal to Jezebel's "Michelle Obama is not a lighter shade of 'trophy' wi
2007-12-16 16:59:00
I'm not sure how I feel about Anna's recent post on Jezebel, titled "Michelle Obama is not a lighter shade of 'trophy' wife." Like the author, I am thrilled to see Michelle Obama , a beautiful, super-smart, powerful black woman, gaining attention on the world stage. I think Obama would make a wonderful first lady--a true role model for the nation's girls and boys alike. (I say this even though Barack Obama is my second choice, behind John Edwards, for the Democratic nomination.)Here's where the Jezebel author perplexes me:It was an awe-inspiring show of celebrity, but, looking over the manyphotographs of the duo's three-state tour on Saturday and Sunday -- somethingother than Oprah's outfits stood out: The fact that Michelle Obama, thepersonable, whip-smart 43-year old Harvard law grad and take-no-prisoners wifeof the senator from Illinois... is black."Black" is both a commonly-accepted and extremely loaded description ofskin color in this country. (And no wonder: used as an ...
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It's feel good Friday!
2007-12-14 12:59:00
I was fortunate to see the African Children's Choir in person last week and they were amazing! Seeing their spirit and energy made me feel good, so I'm sharing one of their performances with you.
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Am I pretty, too?
2007-12-13 19:20:00
Reading on Just Lisa how my fellow blogger was wrestling with whether to ?go natural? with her hair got me thinking (again) how non-European features are rarely celebrated in our culture, which can make it difficult for women of color to embrace their true selves.In at least three recent conversations with white friends, someone has remarked on the perfection and attractiveness of a newborn baby by exclaiming ?She?s got blonde hair and blue eyes!? Flaxen hair and light eyes can be very beautiful, but there is something about the way the statement is made, as if these features alone always bestow beauty on a person. Sort of, ?Of course the baby is beautiful, it has blonde hair and blue eyes.? I understand that these qualities are prized by mainstream Western society. But what of the baby that is as brown as a chocolate drop with a shock of soft, kinky hair and brown eyes? And what about the adult that baby becomes? Where is the praise for other types of beauty? I have never heard any...
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What does the black community owe the icons of the civil rights movement?
2007-12-11 21:18:00
Andrew Young, former U.S. Congressman, mayor and first African American ambassador to the United Nations, is a civil rights icon.He encouraged African-Americans to register to vote in Alabama, and sometimes faced death threats while doing so. He became a friend and ally of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. at this time. In 1957, Young moved to New York City to accept a job with the National Council of Churches. However, as the Civil Rights Movement gained momentum, Young decided that his place was back in the South. He moved to Atlanta, Georgia and again worked on drives to register black voters. In 1960 he joined the Southern Christian Leadership Conference. Young was jailed for his participation in civil rights demonstrations, both in Selma, Alabama and in St. Augustine, Florida. Young played a key role in the events in Birmingham, Alabama serving as a mediator between the white and black communities. In 1964 Young was named executive director of the Southern Christian Leadership Confer...
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