Sober Girl

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thanks, Parker
2008-02-21 19:45:00
Thanks, Parker , for commenting. You win a (yet to be determined) prize for being the first person to comment!I have been mulling over your thoughts and I'm glad that we can agree, disagree and even agree to disagree - and yet still be members of the same lifesaving group. (That's AA for you kids who aren't following along!)I don't agree with everyone in AA. I don't have to. I bet I'd love hearing Parker's lead, or to hang out with him and his pals at the "meeting after the meeting." As long as my heart and mind are open, I am going to learn something from him.Anyway, I still feel like a stickler about the traditions and how I see them sometimes being twisted and bent. But I also know that the line between alcoholism and drug addiction is getting thinner and thinner.I've sponsored a few women who didn't identify as alcoholics at all - one was a heroin addict and another a crack addict. Neither of them are sober today (to the best of my knowledge) - and that's not my fault. ...

is "a drug-a-drug-a-drug"?
2008-02-13 18:49:00
When people tell me, "a drug is a drug is a drug," they are almost always defending the notion that AA should be open to people whose "substance of choice" is a drug, not alcohol. You know that I think open meetings should most certainly be open to those who aren't yet sure, or who might have a problem with alcohol... that sort of thing. ("The ONLY requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking.")Last summer, I had a Big Book study group at my house. The participants were newer members of AA and lived at a local recovery house for women. They got upset about the singleness of purpose once, telling me such things as: "That's discrimination!" and "It's segregation!" and "If it helps drug addicts, they should be able to go, too!"So I started to list some existing and made-up "-isms" and said, "Should those people feel free to attend closed AA meetings, too?" Do you think you can help the person with food issues? Sugar issues? Heroin issues? Sex addiction? Perhaps a grown ma...
More About: Drug

the only requirement for membership...
2008-02-11 05:05:00
At a recent meeting, a new woman introduced herself as an addict. In fact, when I was introduced to her before the meeting (like "New Girl, meet Sober Girl - she's been around for a few 24 hours...") she told me that she's not actually an alcoholic - she smoked crack."Aah," I said. "Have you been to any NA meetings yet?""Well, a few," she answered. "But I like AA better."I suggested that she keep trying NA meetings -in addition to OPEN AA meetings, just in case it turned out she might also have an alcohol problem- so that she could meet people with her same problem. She shrugged and said okay.Up in the meeting, she suggested the topic: She felt like she was suddenly so angry, how could she keep from erupting at her mother and two small kids?Because she introduced herself as an addict when she spoke and (probably) because she mentioned in her share that crack was her drug of choice, it was pretty clear to anyone paying attention that this girl considers herself not an alcoholic, bu...
More About: Membership

there is a solution
2008-02-02 01:02:00
As many times as I've read the Big Book (of Alcoholics Anonymous), I'm always glad to read it again - from start to end, or picking it up anywhere in between.I was just looking at the chapter, "There is a Solution ," and this stood out:"If you are as seriously alcoholic as we were, we believe there is no middle-of-the-road solution. We were in a position where life was becoming impossible, and if we had passed into the region from which there is no return through human aid, we had but two alternatives: One was to go on to the bitter end, blotting out the consciousness of our intolerable situation as best we could; and the other, to accept spiritual help. This we did because we honestly wanted to, and were willing to make the effort."(You can see it for yourself here.)Let's hear it again: ACCEPT SPIRITUAL HELP. Accept. Acceptance is key.According to my Big Book Concordance, accept is noted in 23 places in the Big Book; acceptance is noted 15 times.Think about it.

the only thing drinking ever fixed...
2008-01-30 03:55:00
...was nothing!A brief bedtime message from Sober Girl.
More About: Drinking , Thing , Fixed

steps one and two
2008-01-28 18:12:00
In my last post I just talked about step three - that's because I was so impressed with that analogy the presenter gave about turning things over to God's care being like turning your money over to the care of a financial adviser/broker.The first two steps are, of course, important. Can't get to three if you don't work one and two!I'm a strong believer in working the steps in order. Exceptions can be made with the 10th step, although I think that people in early sobriety should always check with their sponsors before marching off to make amends. We get so anxious to fix everything!So of course, step one is so powerful: Not only are we admitting the nature of the problem (powerlessness)and the outcome of that problem (unmanageable lives), but that ever-important "we" is right up at the top.Lest you should forget that you are not alone, just look at the first step! WE are powerless over alcohol; OUR lives had become unmanageable.Step two, "came to believe that a power greater tha...
More About: Steps

over to the care of god - as I understand him
2008-01-27 21:53:00
I was at a conference recently and attended a panel discussion of steps one through six. The three presenters did an incredible job of all 6 steps, but what I keep thinking about is step three: "Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him."What I liked about the presenter's perspective is this: He compared putting one's will and life into the care of a higher power to putting one's finances into the care of a broker. The broker takes your money and works on your behalf to make your money grow.The presenter asked, "Now that the broker has the money, is it HIS money? Or is it still your money?"The audience hummed with, "My money!"The presenter continued, "So if you take that same idea, but instead of money, make it your will and your life and instead of a broker, make it your higher power, it's the same thing: Whose life is it? Whose will?"Again the audience agreed, "My life! My will!"He said, "Exactly! God isn't TAKING your life an...
More About: Care , Understand

first sober post
2008-01-27 19:53:00
This is the first sober post, but not my first-ever sober post. I've been sober for 11 years, so it's not a new deal. The purpose of this blog is to provide (myself) a place to share thoughts (maybe even experience, strength and hope) anonymously. So here we go... just wanted to get it started. More from me later!-SG
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