A schizoid personality

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Over the week-end
2008-04-28 23:47:00
Turns out, I am harder to leave than one might think. Apparently, my other half cannot imagine her life without me dixit herself… So I guess all is patch-up for now. Just so you know, that puts me pretty much in same mood than the day she announced she wanted to leave. It is just one of ...
More About: Week

The D word
2008-04-25 04:18:00
Here we are at that crossroad again… I have picked-up witting, and noticeably those past two weeks I have put a few urban poetic texts together (mostly in french, sorry).  In one of them called “double nationality” I express my trouble coping with the changes to come, like “double nationality, feels for me like being a ...
More About: New York , Word , Familly , Inner thoughts

Instinct
2008-04-23 21:08:00
Song Lyrics (electro / dark)   I can no longer fight The power of the moonlight. Your sent is so distinct It triggers my instinct   [REFRAIN] Run, if you wanna live… Run, for a tomorrow… Run, if you wanna live… Run, for a tomorrow…   Let me share my secret: You need a silver bullet To survive to this night, Or I’ll kill you on sight   [REFRAIN]   My claws are so sharp I ...

Boogeyman
2008-04-23 01:55:00
Song lyrics  (electro / dark ) Deep in the belly of the earth Is supposed to be the hideout of a beast Living in the darkness beneath who could engulf us all in a mist.   Or so goes the legend, But he monster is long gone He had no needs to stay and pretend. Not after human kind was born   See, he was aiming ...

A simple thing
2008-04-21 20:44:00
Song Lyrics (electro / dark) So simple, yet complex : Are you with me just for sex? Why does it have to be a mess? I just asked for NO or YES.   [REFRAIN] NO or YES, YES or NO, it’s you that should know YES or NO, NO or YES, seems you don’t I guess   The choice is binary: I’m asking if you love me. With ...
More About: Simple , Thing

Trouble de la personnalité : schizoïde
2008-04-16 07:56:00
Un bon post pour les francophones: Le trouble de la personnalité schizoïde est un trouble de la personnalité grave. Cette personne vit seule sans ressentir les conséquences de sa solitude. Elle ne manifeste aucun interêt pour les relations sociales. Elle n’est pas touchée par les marques de sympathie ou d’affection et n’exprime quasiment jamais ses émotions. Ses ...

Idiosyncratic activities
2008-04-16 06:55:00
Well, I think you?ve all been witnessing what « Idiosyncratic activities » can do? Come on think? Well you?ve at least witnessed it right here, right now! Me ?off line? for over six weeks => idiosyncratic activities. I?ll explain: People with SPD are prone to idiosyncratic activities ? don?t feel bad to look it up http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Idiosyncrasy , I ...
More About: Work , Activities

Of the existence of God
2008-02-26 20:50:00
I’d like to simply share a theory that is both a scientific process and a leap of faith: If God [a] is omnipresent (he can be in any and different places at the same time). And if God [a] is omnipotent / Omniscient (he can do everything and anything conceivable or not by humankind). Then obviously if you ...
More About: Existence , Inner thoughts

Consciousness
2008-02-26 04:43:00
 I have been asked if schizoids were conscience they were hurting people, not just buy not giving enough attention, but more especially while leaving their close ones…I can’t answer for them, but I can tell you this about me: Yes I am conscious I “hurt” people’s feelings (I would not hurt a fly), and that ...
More About: Consciousness , Familly

New York, New York
2008-02-23 18:21:00
Well, a week in the big apple, and I must say I was delightly surprised! I could live there! Well, there are a bit too much people still, but I mean, the atmosphere, the architecture, the culture… It’s a lot like Paris with taller buildings…Lots of cafés, in which you are served and not plundered ...
More About: New York , York , New-York , Encounters

The day I almost visited liberty island
2008-02-20 03:50:00
I am in New-York for the week, for pleasure. So my curiosity brings me face to Liberty Island , and of course, ticket in hand I go for the ferry. Before boarding goes the whole security measures thing that are now everywhere in NY it seems. I understand how two planes crashing in two of your biggest ...
More About: Moods

The risks of miscommunication
2008-02-18 02:59:00
 Communication between two people goes: What he/she thinks What he/she wants to say What he/she believes he/she says What he/she actually says What you want to hear What you believe you hear What you actually hear What you want to understand What you think you understand What you actually understand That’s a lot of reasons for miscommunication… Two schizoids communicating will be more like: What the schizoid says ...

Why me?
2008-02-15 21:34:00
If you have read the article about the causes of SPD, you might remember I promised to dig a little more in details about my case. If you did not read it, I suggest you do it now: http://schizoid-personality.110mb.com/inn er-thoughts/we-know-the-effects-but-what- are-the-causes/ On the genetics front: My dad was definitively an introvert. I clearly remember him enjoying working in is wood shop, all alone (he re-made both apartments we lived in, integrating furniture, closets, putting separations and such). When he was not in his shop, he was reading, and after the death of his parents, he was in their home (40km outside the city) all week-ends, gardening and doing handy work by himself. I remember him murmuring to himself, stopping when he sensed another presence in the same room. He also had some body language (eyebrow rising, slight shrouding…) completely off topic with what was happening around him (especially around the dinner table), and I know now those were responses to ...

Vivre avec toi
2008-02-14 19:08:00
Je suis comme un électron et tu es mon noyau, mon centre. Sans toi j’errerais sans but comme un bateau sans son ancre. Il est certes peu d’endroits où je me sente bien, mais l’un de ces havres est au creux de tes seins. Et si je suis froid, souvent distant, j’ai aussi mes pulsions par moment; Dans la cuisine au détour d’un comptoir, ou au sommet des escaliers, comme un promontoire, c’est une main dans le cou ou un simple bisou qui révèle en cet instant ce que je ressens vraiment. Alors à ceux qui te demandes si ton mari t’aime, dis leurs qu’il t’aime plus que tous ces maris bohêmes. Dis leur qu’il ne boit pas pour t’oublier et que jamais il ne t’a ni ne pourrait te tromper. Et s’ils te demandent s’il est tendre est attentionné dis leur que non, mais qu’il a le mérite de le savoir et d’essayer. Dis leur que ça le ronge, dis leur qu’il a mal et que même s’il pleure à...

The end of World records
2008-02-13 20:06:00
My wife was thinking (yes she does that a lot too) that at one point there will be no more sporting records to break. I mean human physiology has its limits, and our physiological evolution is way slower than our recent learning pace. So at one point all training techniques will not be able to make a human body go over its physical limitation… At that point all sportsmen/sportswomen of a specific discipline will just tend towards the ultimate goal of the maximum record attainable for a human being, knowing it could not be break anymore. Turns out, researching a bit the subject, that this theory is actually right. The IRMES (Institute for Biomedical Research and Sports Epidemiology in Paris) backed by four other university and medical research facilities produced a report stating than: in 1896 (first modern Olympic Games) 75% of the human integrated muscle biology was used to break world records. In 2007 Athletes are using 99% of the physical maximum potential. Half of the...
More About: World , Records , World records

Sold!
2008-02-12 19:32:00
Yes, the house is sold, after 35 visits in 6 days… Honestly I was not home most of the week-end; we went to lunch out on Saturday and stayed out. And on Sunday while my wife and my daughter went to two birthday parties, I went off for one of my legendary movie day (only 3 movies though, so pretty slow day, I had no car so was forced to stay in the same theatre). Actually I came back home by -26C (a 25-30 minutes’ walk), that’s how much I needed the movies after this week… Yesterday we reviewed the offers, one could not be passed on, so we concluded the deal (420kCAN$, very good, actually the standing record, for a three bedrooms in our street). I finished this endeavour with irritations on the right hand, some kind of eczema most probably due to all that agitation in my own home for the past days (see even if I think I did pretty well psychologically, my body reacted to all those peoples like they were an allergen ). My wife was ecstatic (she was thinking ...
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And you call that a school?
2008-02-11 20:02:00
This week-end, well there was the nightmare of all the visits, but that’s not the point… My daughter was reading a comic to me. In one picture there is a kid entering his school at morning. You can see kids playing ball in the background, some other playing marble on the left side, and, a little girl seated against a wall and reading a book. My daughter stops and says “whoa, she’s lucky; she can read in her school…” I am like “well of course you can read in school“. My daughter looks at me and tell me “No, it’s forbidden to read outside the classroom in my school“… I am like, no way, I misheard that, so I make her repeat, and explain what she means. Turns out the kids are not allowed books outside the classroom (even their own personal ones!!!) That’s not all; while discussing what they were doing outside, it was clear they are very pushed towards physical and group activities (ok she needs to get socia...
More About: School , Call

Apathy? Did you say apathy?
2008-02-10 16:35:00
When it comes to doing nothing, feeling empty, even worthless (since there is nothing you can do that will make a dent in the universe anyway, so why bother?) I had my share. The apathy is a very serious problem (probably the main cause of depression for schizoids), yet it’s pretty normal that this will occur in the course of that condition… When you spend your life introverting, you cannot do otherwise but foreseeing things, playing with theories, “what ifs”, and when you do so, believe me, you cannot turn optimistic, at all… You see the world around you, you analyze it, you try to make sense of it, but when you are schizoid, few feelings are entering into the balance to dazzle you like the others, and you can just see it for what it is: A huge mistake spiraling down the drain exponentially! Well the Universe I am fine with, the problem is human kind, mind you… Anyway… At first it was “I see it, I can make something about it&rdquo...
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Please do not turn American
2008-02-09 15:14:00
French have the nasty habit of copying the US. Usually a few years down the road, and sadly, usually not copying the better sides of it… They got trash TV, fast food, credit cards, people magazines… But It still takes 3 years to create a company, any invention finishes in a drawer or is ultimately ...
More About: American , Moods , Turn

Our extrovert friends
2008-02-08 20:51:00
A word on one of my « coworkers ». He is the database administrator at work, in fact the best damn DBA I had the pleasure to work with. He is self taught in this field, changed career several times. He is also pretty handy with systems (Windows / Linux) not just Databases, does some neat programming too. ...
More About: Friends

The Hell House
2008-02-07 20:46:00
No it?s not Amityville, it?s my home? I was not prepared? Four to five visits yesterday and the same the day before? Now I can deal with the occasional repair guy checking the furnace or the meters, as I am aware long in advance of his coming, and he is usually in one place of the ...
More About: Society , House , Hell , Familly , Encounters

The fear of going crazy
2008-02-07 07:50:00
(Nancy, this one’s for you) It’s time for me to post about something that I think even professionals are underestimating. There is little reference about “the fear of going crazy” for schizoids. And yet it is of capital importance, at least for me, I’ll explain why… My mind is like one of those little spring toys that ...
More About: Crazy , Fear

Those are YOUR values, so assume them?
2008-02-06 19:22:00
Oh, I never told you, but I work for a CATHOLIC school board, see how open minded I can be? Plus I can use the occasional fun of it like today: We are pretty much a full DELL Computers shop here (servers and workstations, over 2500 PCs). But during the last tender, voices have raised that ...
More About: Society , Religion , Values , Assume

Why do you have a brain, if you don?t use it?
2008-02-06 16:37:00
(Names have been changed to protect the stupidity of people) Context: We have installed an “Adobe Connect” server to be able to produce remote trainings and virtual meeting rooms across the school board. Departments and people that will be using it have been fully trained on its usage. A true work story: January 31st Norbert emailed the IT ...
More About: Brain

Back to France
2008-02-05 23:03:00
 Well the North America adventure was great but we decided it was time to go back. We’ve been talking about it since last summer. And we finally decided that for our daughter it is best to do it during summer break, for evident schooling reasons.So next summer we’ll be back in France . We already put ...
More About: Work , Back

For Sale
2008-02-05 22:08:00
This marks the first thing toward going back in France; yep we are selling the house… I hoped for a quick private sale, but it did not take. So now it’s agency and… oh horror… As the house hit the market, hordes of people visiting the premises… Just writing it makes me feel nauseous… Tonight there ...
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Back to ?normal?
2008-02-04 19:34:00
Well, my wife and I finally got that discussion. Turns out I was right; she did make some reading on SPD. So I explained to her those were “clinical” symptoms and where I was located in all that medical mambo jumbo. (she was quite worried about the lack of sexual drive usually tight to SPD, ...
More About: Back , Normal

We know the effects, but what are the causes?
2008-02-03 17:37:00
Well, again there is no definite answer to that question, and not just because I tend not to deal in absolutes, but simply because it’s still not known what are/is the cause(s) for the schizoid personality disorder. There are only theories, and no founded research is available, only speculation at this time. So before I ...
More About: Effects

Snow Storm made in Toronto
2008-02-01 21:56:00
Today is the definition of a Snow Storm in Toronto (15 cm in the whole day)… Seriously, no School bus, the afternoon off to get home early for those that actually came to work in the morning, the whole shabbam… Well right now I am in the office, I look outside, it’s not snowing anymore, there ...
More About: Society , Made

Filial bonds
2008-02-01 20:14:00
It’s not easy to be schizoid with a child. I am not a monster and I perfectly know what my daughter needs in terms of affection. Since I cannot provide on a steady pace in that area, I came up with some strategies: First: The “silly” Dad: It’s easy to jump, say silly things, and do weird dances ...
More About: Bonds , Filial