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Fog
2007-06-16 06:35:00
It has been incredibly foggy due to the cold. Last night was atrocious. I could barely make out objects a few metres in front of me. I could barely discern the outline of the lady walking in front of me; the fog threatened to swallow her whole any minute. I could not make out the outline of cars, only the fuzzy images of their headlights which were feeble attempts to penetrate the thick fog. It was quite eerie. I realized then, how dangerous it was to drive in such poor visibility, and it would be foolish on my part if i decide to ride my bike to work tonight if the fog continues. The photo on the right was taken in the city when Sapphire and i were taking a quick rest and sharing a danish pastry between us. It was so cold, it ain't funny.I was walking home from the train station with Sapphire. We had used the whole day to dish out a sheaf of resumes that i had printed out in the morning, to the various Starbucks, Gloria Jeans Coffees, and Hudsons Coffee outlets. I am applying for ...
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Hole in the welfare system
2007-06-16 06:17:00
A couple of weeks back, i was walking along an Italian street with Donkey, Dumbo and Ashley. We were going to have dinner. As we were nearing a traffic intersection, we noticed a commotion upfront. A 2 year old kid was bawling her eyes out, and her frazzled mother was trying her best to reason it out with her. All very normal, except that the mum finally shrieked in hysterics that she could not handle it anymore.I looked at the parents. It's quite unusual to see a mother lose her patience in public like that and to such an extent. The dressing of both parents were not the usual type you would expect; it was the kind of attire you would associate with people who live on the streets. The dad looked drunk, and he was smoking a cigarette, puffing out the carcinogens all over his daughter. The mum's eyes looked a bit glazed, she looked drugged.The dad took over. He tried reasoning with the child but to no avail. Without warning, he lost his temper and hit the kid on her legs. The kid f...
More About: Life , System , Hole , Welfare , Fare

Reconstruction
2007-06-13 04:28:00
I haven't been updating and this despite it being the holidays now. It's been crazy, heading out to hang out day after day, night after night. The days and nights blurred with one another and often i found myself confused about which day it is. And i thought that should happened during the exams!Major stuff going on in my life and loving them, though i still crave for peace and quiet for some days where i can just settle on the couch with a good novel, or just watch DVDs with my dogs. Some quiet is good for the soul.I have decided that since i have settled into the Townhouse quite comfortably with my dogs and Tiara, and i can now focus on the other aspects of my life. I have decided to focus on my sports, and just abandon music. It just takes too much effort on my part to learn music, considering i have never played a note in my entire life. Try as i might, sports still beckon and i cannot resist the calling. I have contacted the University's soccer club, and they have since repl...
More About: Reconstruction , Const , Econ , Cons

Ears freezing
2007-06-10 00:26:00
I never knew the purpose of ear muffs till this morning.I rode my bike back from work, and it was freezing. I was clad in a thick windbreaker with a long-sleeved Nike shirt underneath, windbreaker pants and a pair of cycling gloves and i still felt very cold. And my ears! They went from cold to numb to pain. Holy, i thought they were going to drop off or something. And the gloves were obviously not thick enough because my fingers were aching from the biting cold, and they too went from numbness to pain. I kept thinking they were going to drop off from frostbite (can't get the image of how one of the Chinese pirates in Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End snapped his own foot off because of the blistering cold).Anyhow, i am warm and nice at home now.Work was a little eerie. The doctor had taken off for a holiday; and her elder brother was supposed to be staying over. Except he took off for another state earlier this week, so i was all alone with Liz last night. It would have be...
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I would have if you hadn't said that
2007-06-09 09:15:00
Last night, i went out to The Casino to hang out with friends. The Casino as its name implies, consists of a huge gambling den and several pretty posh restaurants and cafes. I have never gambled because it doesn't interest me. I just do not like the ridiculous trepidation as i wait (in agony) to find out whether i am going to win or lose some money, and i find it quite pointless that my earnings are not directly determined by me, but by some dumb machine or dealer or whatever.Anyhow, we went to have some sumptuous cakes in a cafe. Marvellous. I had a strawberry cheese cake, beautiful. But i only only managed 2/3 of it, because it was so incredibly rich that if i had to stuff the whole thing down my throat, it would have just ruined everything.We were walking home along the river when this young woman approached us."Does anyone of you speak English?"I looked at the woman, but i did not say a word. There were 5 of us, 4 of us are Chinese and one of us is Indian. Lippy is a local-born...
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"Candidates, please put your pens down."
2007-06-09 01:58:00
With that, my heart palpitations stopped, and my heart sang a song i never heard before.An indescribable overwhelming joy flooded my heart, and a smile i thought would never come, remained fixed on my face, as i stared at the dear chief invigilator with much happiness.It has been an intense week, one examination after another, with no breather in between. This whole semester has been hectic; i doubt i have ever read any more medical materials in my whole academic life.I have been getting left-sided chest pains starting 2 weeks ago. At first i assumed that i had an unsuspected hole in my heart (or Sudden Cardiac Death in Athletes), but i had a listen to my heart sounds, and they were well-defined and strong. Also, Dumbo started complaining of the same thing, and Donkey concluded it was stress-related.I thought i have been in a holiday spirit since the start of my study break because i was certainly not cramming as hard as most of my medical counterparts. Hence, with the conclusion of...
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Pain relief
2007-06-05 09:20:00
I just got home from my first exam. Today marks the day we hit the exams, hard. The 100 MCQ (Multiple Choice Questions) paper was gag-inducing.After the mere first few pages of answering the questions and already getting thoroughly sick of the exam, i found myself biting my nails. I do not have a habit of chewing on my nails because i hate broken jagged ugly nails, but today was sweet relief. The pain induced from chewing on the quick of my nails was a welcome distraction from the uproar in my head as i stared at the questions in front of me.The facts that i have remembered blurred into one gigantic mass. I ended up confused with some of the microorganisms. I took a look around me, the other med students were slumped in their seats, some with heads in their hands, some chewing their pens, others just stared at their papers. That brought some comfort, comfort that it ain't just me being confronted with a killer paper, but the consolation was short-lived because it is after all, each...
More About: Life , Pain , Pain relief , Med school , Relief

The Second Waltz
2007-05-31 14:56:00
A second classical piece i fell in love with whilst studying.Updates are going to be scant this couple of days. I have been studying madly; i think realizing that there is no way i can continue on my procrastination and expecting to pass is ridiculous, helps.Went to the State Library to study today. 5 solid hours of classical music blasted over my iPod. I must say classical music does encourage one to study, something about the music and brain waves (i read an article about it before).Anyhow, i got to run. Have got a physical examination practice with friends tomorrow and 3 weeks of notes to complete by midnight!P/S: My return ticket back to Singapore has been confirmed on the 9 of July. I will be set to return home if i am able to secure a ticket from Singapore to Melbourne on the 13 of July. Am supposed to be purchasing the ticket online now, but i have no time. Need to resume my viral studies. Hahaha.
More About: Videos , Workload , Econ

Humoresque No 7
2007-05-29 10:00:00
Have been listening to classical music to help me concentrate.One of my favourite pieces. I am not a music person, so i am not sure what all those expressions on the musicians are.I just like the music, especially the middle bits, around 2:00.
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The Bad Guy
2007-05-29 06:09:00
I guess once in a while, you have to be the Bad Guy and give it to someone straight.I have done it once or twice or maybe more, and i have a penchant of making people cry. Believe me when i say i would have very much preferred to avoid such a nasty affair, but i guess if you really care, then you have got to do what you need to do.I just played the role of bad guy just now, and honestly it wasn't fun. I would have liked to cut it short, and i could, but i didn't because i did not want to run away.Maybe i had enough. Had enough of seeing someone i care for being tangled up in unresolved issues and inner conflict all the time. Enough of playing the sympathetic friend, enough of being the patient encouraging one. Enough of all these positive reinforcement crap, if that is what you call it.So i gave it to that person straight. Stuff that has been on my mind for some time now; i just laid it all on the table. In other words, i was practically yelling through my insanely calm body langu...
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Money goes rolling out
2007-05-29 03:06:00
My last few entries haven't been about myself, but more about new-sy stuff. It is just 'cause it is faster to blog about other stuff other than my life. It can take up to an hour to blog about myself, and that's time i cannot spare at the moment.I have been under-studying, and now i am starting to feel the heat.This entry is going to be short, because i am not in any particular inspiration to blog at the moment, and i do not want to bore everyone to tears.Remember my broken bike and broken helmet? Well, i have decided to get new pedals and new helmet. And i did not mop around for too long either. I figured, if i was going to have to fork out money, i might as well be happy about it. And so my misery was kind of short-lived. Couple of hours later, i was surfing the net to find out which helmets are cool, funky and safe. My excitement was bubbling to tell you the truth. Although i have always wanted to get a new helmet, and i could not find a legitimate reason to get one, since my ...
More About: Money , Rolling , Goes

A good website on sexual issues
2007-05-28 03:21:00
This website (Your Sex Health) won the Best in Class award (Education) in the Prestigious New York based Interactive Media Awards.I had a quick browse, and i was really impressed with the design. It was all very funky and very nice, certainly quite appealing to the younger people, and definitely the population that this website is striving to gain the attention of. I particularly like how the little human figures move when you hover your mouse cursor over them.Content is really accurate too. Below are a couple of screenshots i took.P/S: Got loads to update. May post of some photos later if i have the time (read: if i managed to get over my holiday spirit and get the required studying done for today!) Also, i am about to KO soon; i finally caught the flu bug from Tiara i think. This is her 4th cycle (of getting the cold) for this semester, and each time i managed to not succumb to the spread of transmission. Don't think i am lucky this time round, because i woke up with a coughing f...
More About: Website , Issues , Sexual , Good , Issue

I had to put this up
2007-05-26 08:50:00
Too accurate.Some people are just so astute at picking up the behaviours of Life, and then articulating them so clearly, so succinctly."Wealth without work" - Playing shares in the market? Paris Hilton maybe?"Pleasure without conscience" - Sleeping around despite being in a marriage? Drug trafficking? Sex trade?"Knowledge without character" - Nuclear bombs?"Commerce without morality" - Enron?"Science without humanity" - Abortion? Too expensive drugs or treatment?"Worship without sacrifice" - Taking religion for granted? Terrorists?"Politics without principle" - Kim Jong II? Suu Kyi?It's impressive.And yes, i have printed this up, and it is now on my wall facing me.

You can tell i am not studying
2007-05-24 15:07:00
I was reading through my radiology notes when i read this line:The mammogram is basically an x-ray. However, compression is added to get better soft tissue definition.My jaw nearly dropped. You apply force to a fragile part of a woman to check whether she has breast cancer. Now i am highly curious whether it was a man who devised such a devious method.I did a Google search and i was right. If a man is suspected of having penile cancer, he does not undergo an X-RAY + COMPRESSION. Tell me, why exactly is that then???But i admit, amputation of the penis if the cancer is too aggressive might be harder to handle than a mastectomy (removal of an entire breast). Whilst cosmetic reconstruction can help a woman, it is a different story for an affected male, because he would still not be able to have an erection. With a mastectomy, there would be no sensation in the nipple either.By the way, whilst i was googling about penile x-rays, i stumbled upon this site (i was quite surprised that no po...
More About: Med school , Studying

Boopies
2007-05-24 12:57:00
Practical sessions can be quite hilarious especially when Dumbo, Donkey and i are working as a group.We were looking at mammograms, and histological slides of the biopsied tissue taken from the breast.Squinting heard at mammogram,"What's wrong with the breast? It's look normal to me," i said."I don't see anything wrong either," Dumbo replied. He was falling asleep first. Only Donkey's persistence in staying for the practical session prevented him from dragging all of us for a cup of coffee."Is this the abnormality?" Donkey asked tentatively, and pointed to a white mass.I looked at it. "Isn't the whole breast sort of whitish? So the whole breast is cancerous?"Donkey and Dumbo snickered good-naturedly."We don't know anything!" Donkey said.We turned to the histological slides."What's that?" I saw lots of cells but i have no idea what the hell they were."They are the ducts," Donkey replied.I scrutinized the ducts. There was something in them. Before i could think of what i was sa...
More About: Friends , Med school , Pies

I could look at the funny side of things except
2007-05-24 11:30:00
my funds are still at an all time low and my exams are really close. I really cannot afford to have such hick-ups in my life at the moment.I have been wanting to save some money since January, and it has not happened yet. Far from it.The dog kennels finally arrived today, and i am done with paying for all my purchases. Just when it looks like i am all set to start putting in some money in starving bank accounts, disaster strikes.For no reason that i can fathom, my the clip on my Prowell helmet broke. Actually, it disappeared. I only noticed its disappearance with horror when i was trying to put my helmet on to ride home from classes. I could not believe my eyes. I had to wear a broken helmet, or i have to push my bike. Getting a fine for breaking a traffic rule is the last thing i want. So i wore my helmet without the strap, and all the way home i was terrified that the damn thing would fall off. To further add to my woes, it was extremely windy today, and i was already trying my be...
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A different crowd
2007-05-23 15:38:00
Today was the last lecture of the whole semester, and quite possibly the last lecture ever for me in University in Med school . After this, it will be a whole year of research in hospitals, and then 2.5 years of clinical studies. Woo hoo.As the exams are drawing closer, i have been feeling quite squeezed by the time. Honestly, i have actually been in quite the holiday mood. I have not been studying since last Friday and have instead been hanging out with friends and watching DVDs and movies. In fact, i just came home from the movies (i watched Zodiac, a really interesting show if you are the kind that enjoys thinking and analyzing, but it was quite long so i don't think i will be inclined to watch it twice) with Sachs and Tiara. It ain't that i am not frazzled. I have been stressed, and i have this certainty that i won't be sleeping on the night of my major papers not because i have to cram, but because i am too pressurized. I am particularly anxious about my clinical examination,...
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What a riot
2007-05-22 17:54:00
Today was my last Health Practice (HP) tutorial. Many students were guilty of cutting this particular class, since it was the last one, and we can afford to cut one HP class and not be penalize for our fixed compulsory curriculum time.I went for the tutorial because i quite enjoy these tutorials. It is unlike the Problem-Based Learning (PBL) tutorials. These tutorials are more discussion on ethics, debates on hitches in the medical system. I like it. I like listening to the opinions of others and expressing mine. Plus, it is a healthy diversion to an otherwise stoically biological subject.This article was the talk of the day.Doctor slept with sex patient's wifeAn Excerpt:The man told the Victorian Medical Practitioners Board yesterday that only months after helping to deliver the couple's first child in March 2004, his family doctor, Gregory James Wilks, began having sex with his wife.The board heard that a short time after the affair began in late 2004, the woman's husband visit...

Knots in my mind
2007-05-22 06:16:00
So i have been thinking a lot the past few weeks. Well, technically i never stopped thinking. I just shoved whatever Life issues i have to the back of my mind and hope they will go away, but they never do. But at least these issues have been easier on me lately, coming out in trickles, easier to handle packages, rather than as a whole load at one shot, which can be quite depressing i reckon.And sometimes, i get the answers in the most uncanny of places. I got my answer to one of my most troubling questions during a Radiology lecture today, and hell, i was not even daydreaming. I was paying utmost attention to the professor (more about this later). The answer was quite simple. I think i knew the answer all the while, just that sometimes it takes a little while to be convinced. All those synapses in the brain need time to connect you know?I sort of know what is flawed in my thinking now. It is like this graph of hope.Let me explain this graph that i have drawn up, before i apply it t...
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A very telling sign
2007-05-21 16:38:00
So i was late again for my tutorial. It is the second last tutorial of this semester. I get a week of study break after this week, and then i hit my exams, full steam ahead.I knew today i was really late, and i actually entertained the thought of not turning up at all. But i did, because i figured since i was in Uni already, i might as well go for my lessons, late or not. I may get penalized for being consistently late every single session, but at least i retain the minimal knowledge that goes on in that class.I walked into the classroom, and the tutor looked at me."You are late even by your standards!" She said this without a hint of sarcasm or annoyance. She just meant it good-naturedly."It was windy," i replied.It is winter now, and it has been predicted that this winter is going to be colder than usual. I can tell. I am freezing my ass off. I am already switching on my heater, something i did not do last year, except for the few days when i was down with the cold. My dogs and i ...
More About: Med school , Sign

I'm sorry but i can't help it
2007-05-21 09:55:00
I came home from classes, shivering my ass off as i sped on my bike. It is a ridiculous 12 degrees today, and my thickest hoodie is not sufficient to keep me warm (i haven't pondered the question of what is? then).I came home, and Tiara came out of her room. She looked pale. She had complained of a sore throat the night before, but other than that, no additional symptoms. I glanced at her."Are you all right?""I will be fine. I am always like that after taking antibiotics."I frowned."Antibiotics? You went to see the doctor?""No i didn't.""Then where did you get the antibiotics from?" For one split second, i was stricken that she had took some of the prophylactic antibiotics that the doctor had prescribed to me for my burns, but which i staunchly refused to take. I thought Tiara might have gotten desperate and attempted to self-medicate."I have tons of antibiotics," Tiara said and laughed."What? Don't you need a prescription?""My dad gave me a whole bunch before i left for Taiwan."...
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Level of talk
2007-05-21 01:58:00
Tiara and i went to rent a car the day before to cart us, and the dogs to the venue where the Million Paws Walk was being held. Inevitably, we had a small chat with the guy who was handling our application. Actually, i think it kind of surpassed a small chat, because it went on for quite a bit. Also we were running late for our event, and i was trying not to be rude in telling him to multi-task. This was one person that i found out, could really not multi-task. He could either focus on our conversation at hand or fill in the condition report for the rental car. Not both. It was really excruciating, and comical at the same time. But his conversation more than made up for it."So what kind of car do you drive?" I asked casually."A Nissan, a sports car. I am actually going to sell it, and maybe use my dad's car.""Use your dad's car? That's kind of..." i trailed off."Haha, not really, i would really like to drive my dad's car. But he would not let me."I gave him a puzzled look."My da...
More About: Life , Talk , Bizzare

One more thing...
2007-05-18 18:23:00
And i know the reason why i am feeling so miserable is because of the many guilt trips i have pulled on myself.And unless you are born heartless; if you are placed in a situation like mine, you will forever be under the admonishment of your conscience. Not until you free up some time.And who are you kidding right? We are talking about med school here.Time is not something we can negotiate. Take it or leave it.Period.And i always thought that time is in your grasp. You control time, you create time. But honestly, certain circumstances are not as kind one thinks.I am thankful for good-hearted friends. But many times i feel like stabbing myself (figuratively of course, in case you think i am hell-bent on the path of self-mutilation, considering the wounds i have sustained) because i cannot express my gratitude, not unless i have more time to translate my appreciation into action. And since time is not a luxury i can afford, all these guilt gradually manifests itself as anger and frustr...
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I have issues.
2007-05-18 16:15:00
I have issues. There's no denying it. I can't shake them off, i can't pretend to ignore them and hope they blow away magically. I can't let them just sit quiescently at the back of my mind, because they grow like a fucking cancer. And i can't seem to find a solution either.I just want to cruise along in life, and let peoples' comments slip off my back like water off a glass. But i have amazingly lost that ability, that shield that used to encased me.And now, i am fucking exposed to the elements, bewildered and struggling.Why do i have these cyclic bouts of emotional episodes?Part of me understand why i need to let myself suffer through these agonizing tumultuous cycles. It's because i haven't yet found the answer i am been seeking for, and until i find it, there will be no rest for me.But it is incredibly frustrating when these age old questions keep getting thrown up again and again. And then i go through the same thought processes, from different angles, but yet hitting th...
More About: Friends , Issues , Have , Issue

Working without any reward
2007-05-16 16:07:00
Medicine is the only field of study where you can spend the whole day at your desk studying incredibly hard, and you get through a lot of material but at the end of it all, you are still as frustrated, or maybe more, and the anger just hits you in the head and the heart because there is a whole pile more of information waiting to be assimilated. And so it becomes a vicious cycle - trying to motivate oneself to study, but it is mostly in vain, because at the bottom of your heart, you know that it is just not possible to remember all the stuff they are trying to cram into us.What can we really say then?It's a couple of minutes past midnight. I am going to turn in for the night. I will get less than 8 hours' sleep tonight again, 7, if i am lucky. I need to rise early to get through 6 clinical examinations in preparation for my 10am tutorial. I was going to do it today, but my pile of tutorials took longer than i expected. Never mind the laments now, i am done with them.One weary step...
More About: Med school , Workload , King , Ward , Working

One chance too many
2007-05-16 02:19:00
Today i went for my first 8am lecture for the whole semester. It is the second last week of this semester; next week is the final 14th week. After that, i get one week of holidays study break (it is very important i call it a study break. I made the mistake of calling the one week a holiday during my tutorial, and had 10 medical students exclaiming loudly to me that it ain't a holiday. So much for my happy bubble. Med students are such pessimists!).I do not attend 8am lectures for a good reason - i never stay awake through them. And it would make be my concentration span really poor for subsequent lectures in the day. I saw greater benefit in sacrificing the earliest lecture to have moderate (or slightly less than moderate) focus in the later lectures. The faculty had the brilliance to schedule 4 lectures in a day, you see.I specifically woke up this morning for the lecture because it was a radiology lecture. I don't know about you guys, but x-rays, CT scans, MRI scans, Nuclear Me...
More About: Chance , Med school , Chan

Trying not to implode or explode
2007-05-14 09:09:00
I rode my bike home from Uni today. I dropped by the supermarket, wanting to get the softener that they were having on sale. And i discovered that my bunch of keys, consisting of my house key, my letter box key, and both my bike locks' keys, was gone. I searched futilely through my backpack.I didn't bother to head back the way i came from to try to search for the keys because i have been cruising along the roads. It is a logistical problem to cycle along the roads in the opposite direction just to search for my keys. Also this morning i was on the verge of a panic attack because i realized that i have no time left. The exams are coming, and i have too many materials to go through. I have slightly less than 3 weeks now, and already i feel there is no time. I think that's quite bad news.I am just very very very angry at the moment now. I have locked myself in my room with my 2 dogs and with loud music, and attempting to work on my backlog of notes. I will be meeting Donkey later wi...
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Why Men like to gaze on the female form
2007-05-13 12:57:00
I was using the Stumble function on my Firefox browser (which is really good in times of great boredom when one is supposed to be studying freaking hard because you know, the exams are a mere 3 weeks away) when i came upon this articleWhy Men like to gaze on the female form.It was a pretty interesting article, have a read if you are bored or just want something entertaining with some scientific value attached to it.In particular, certain statements caught my attention and amusement."According to the study men take the same pleasure out of looking at an attractive female form as they do from having a curry or making money whereas women do not take any significant reward from looking at pictures of men.""Men were significantly more patient than women when choosing to view attractive females than when choosing to view neutral or unattractive females."I bold the words myself. Too hilarious.P/S: Entry added to my Private Black Book. Click here to be re-directed.
More About: Female , Male , Form , Like

An ingenious way to test the Kings of Tennis
2007-05-13 12:51:00
I know this match has been held, talked and forgotten (maybe). I heard about the match, and then i forgot about it. This afternoon, for some obscure reason, it came back to mind. Whoever thought of this game, was not only a brilliant money-spinner, but one who knows how to have good fun too.It was a showdown between the 2 reigning champions of tennis, one of the clay courts (Rafael Nadal) and one of the grass cour, Roger Federer.Organizers spent more than a million bucks to construct the unique court, half made of grass, the other made of clay.Rafael Nadal won by the way.You can read the article here.
More About: Tennis , Ingenio , King , Test , Geni

Mother's Day Excitement
2007-05-13 01:06:00
It's Mother's Day today! I am not giving my mum a call. Nothing of that sort. Instead, for the first time, i decided i shall do something else...that is something other than nothing. Haha.Couple of days back, i went online and selected a bouquet of flowers and some dark chocolate Swiss Thins which my mum loves, and placed an order for them. They are going to be delivered this afternoon. I wanted to send roses, but my mom unfortunately does not share a similar appreciation (generation gap??) so i ordered carnations (i think? It came recommended anyhow). At least they were in my favourite colour - red.It was kind of difficult to select a delivery time because i realized i no longer know what time my parents attend mass on Sundays. It is usually either the morning ones or the evening ones. I am thinking that my dad and brother will be taking my mum out for dinner so they will be going for mass in the morning. Which would leave the afternoon free for my mom to do some of her work (she...
More About: S Day , Excitement , Temen , Excite