Mamabear and cubs...Mamabear and cubs...A SAHM, a keyboard and a whole LOTTA progesterone. Articles
I guess I'm a "no fun" mom
2008-03-06 05:09:00 There we are at the get together for Papa Ray. Tons of people, mostly old fogies, but a few kids other than mine. Family rules pertain no matter where we are or who we are with. No exceptions. The rules aren't mean. They are respectful and fair if you ask me. So, there are these two kids playing realllly rough. Pushing, screaming, not sharing. You name it, they were doing it. Ellen came up to me and says, "Mommy, the boy in the red shirt with the blue pants and brown hair is being mean and NOT playing nice." Hmmm she sounded like she was giving a description to the cops. It was cute, but I was ticked. I saw what the boy was doing. And it's not the boy that ticked me off. It was the adult watching him. I don't think it was his mom, maybe Grandma? Anyway, I said to her, "Gosh, they are really rough housing!" I was trying to be polite and express that she needed to get out there and have a little communication with the boy. She replied, "It looks like your girls ar... More About: Guess
Maybe I'm Weird
2008-03-05 17:49:00 I feel like I have so far to go in life. I got an email from Grandma Sue (Papa Ray's wife). She said this in part of her message, "I believe his body was exhausted and it was his time to let go and be at peace. Love you all. Sue"And I understand that. I think he was tired, too. But I feel totally selfish with my feelings. I'm sad that I don't get to see him again. I'm sad that I won't get one of his warm hugs as a greeting today when we go visit. I'm sad that there won't be a poker night with him cheating, someone calling him on it, and his denial/cover up. I'm going to think of him every time I eat apple or peach pie. And every time I see an Italian flag. Sue seems to be doing well. I'm happy for that. I know since his stroke a few years ago life was very challenging for them both. But I don't know if I will ever be at a point in my life where I would "accept" losing John. And today rather than attending a funeral, the family is having an open house to ce... More About: Weird
Full Moon
2008-03-05 00:11:00 I've been stumped on posting anything. It's been a weird week. The girls are out of sync. I think/hope John's absence is the culprit, and that after his return things will go back to normal. Sarah had two time outs at school (something that NEVER happens). Ellen has been sleeping for three hours, and she doesn't take naps.I've come back to edit this post three times. I can't seem to settle on what I'd like to write. Is there a full moon? Everything just seems off this week. More About: Full Moon , Moon , Full
No title comes to mind
2008-03-03 05:14:00 Not two minutes after I wrote the last post my phone rang.Papa Ray is gone.And tonight I'm thinking of his wife. They were best friends. After over almost 50 years together they were both still so much in love. I can't imagine my life without John, and I know tonight is so difficult for her.And the thing that gets me is that I know some people will say things like, "It's for the best.. he's better off.. etc." You know what? I don't think it matters if someone is 4 or 104. Any life is precious. Each person matters. Maybe it's easier to accept if the person is old, and has lived a long full life. But it's still sad. It's still hard to say goodbye.But I'm going to finish on a happy memory. Papa Ray was the first customer at Sarah and Ellen's first lemonade stand. More About: Mind , Title
What a day...
2008-03-03 02:09:00 John is safe and sound basking in the glory of Mt. Fuji. After 21 hours of traveling he finally arrived at his hotel. Ellen woke up throughout the night calling out for him. I just climbed in bed with her. I miss him, too. His voice sounded tired when he called. And he just sounded so far away. Too far away. Then I got a call today that one of our previous neighbors, whom the girls call Papa Ray, had a massive heart attack today. He's had heart problems for many years, so this isn't a huge shock. He had a major stroke a few years ago, too. Sigh. Just hoping he can pull through. He is an awesome man. He makes THE BEST APPLE PIE ON EARTH. He is smart and funny and, well, he's just a good person in general. He's in the hospital, and I'm just hoping for the best. He's a pretty tough ol' bird, but his body has really gone through the ringer (a few bi-pass/open heart surgeries plus diabetes). I'm expecting it to be an emotional week.I also think I may have picke...
Well, that sucked
2008-03-01 18:32:00 John left this morning for Japan. Sarah was excited. Ellen was in denial. Anna was busy spitting up, and I cried. I'm going to miss him so much. And I hate when he has to fly, which has been less often lately, but an 11 hour flight, ugh. I'll have to really distract myself today to avoid worrying. I know he'll be okay, but I'm never settled until I know his flights are back on the ground.Sigh.....
The Ol' Ball & Chain
2008-02-29 11:30:00 I remember last month Sarah asked me, "How long have you loved Daddy?"First of all, I LOVE the fact that she didn't ask how long we were married. Not that I really have anything against marriage. I just believe more in MY relationship with John than I do a piece of paper from the State of Oregon saying I have a relationship. And we really haven't been married all that long, just six years. (Yes, Sarah is legit ~ I got pregnant with her two weeks after the wedding. Go ahead and calculate it if you want.)Okay, so I had to count back to "that moment" when I began stalking John. Yes, I stalked him. Stalking is totally underrated. ;)17 years. HA! If that didn't make me feel old! I was 17 when I met him.And then I started thinking about the years. I remember back when we first moved to Oregon, and I felt so proud of the fact that we'd been together four years.I don't really feel pride about our relationship anymore. I just feel fortunate. I cannot imagine spending my li... More About: Ball , Chain
Where has the time gone?
2008-02-28 05:47:00 Now that we are starting to get more into a groove with everyday life I've been trying to work more on BabyLossandHealing.com. My goal has been to update it with more information and find some ways to improve the site.A friend had a fantastic idea to create a memorial blog. A place where families can go and post a specific memorial to the baby they lost. Awesome. So, today I started tinkering with it, and I have to say that whenever I really dig in and work on BabyLossandHealing.com it makes me feel like I'm really doing something right in the world. And it makes me feel like there is some reason for the deep horrendous pain of losing Max.And tonight as I was sitting here working on it I have been digging through my blog to find posts that pertained specifically to losing Max. And it dawned on me. I am starting this memorial on what would have been Max's due date. Granted due dates are never accurate for the birth of my children. Sarah was early, and Ellen and Anna decid... More About: Time , The Time
The Birth
2008-02-27 06:47:00 The girls do a LOT of role playing. I love to watch them come up with stories and characters. Today was quite entertaining. Ellen was "John". Sarah was me? She had a doll shoved up her dress, and was in active labor.The conversation went like this:Sarah groaning, "John, ugh. Ohhhhhh. It's coming right now! It's here! It's here! What is it??? What is it???"Ellen replied in her most excited voice, "It's a...(at least 3 second pause)....BABY!!!!"I cracked up. Sarah turned to Ellen and said, "John. I know it's a baby. Is it a boy or a girl!" More About: Birth
Slurrrrp
2008-02-27 00:04:00 How did the oyster cross the road? He didn't. Oysters live in the ocean.Okay, okay. Now we know why I don't have a career in comedy. Here's some serious information from BeOysterAware.com about eating Gulf oysters:The consumption of raw oysters by healthy individuals will not result in severe Vibrio vulnificus infection(1).Serious illness and death can result when at-risk individuals consume raw oysters. The health conditions that place individuals in the at-risk consumer category include(1):? Liver Disease (from hepatitis, cirrhosis, alcoholism, or cancer)? Iron overload disease (hemochromatosis)? Diabetes? Cancer (including lymphoma, leukemia, Hodgkin?s disease)? Stomach Disorders? Or any illness or medical condition that weakens the body?s immune system*If you are in an At-Risk category or are unsure about your risks, you can reduce the risk of illness by eating oysters that have been post-harvest processed or eliminate the risk of illness by eating oysters fully cooked.*I...
Yikes!
2008-02-26 11:46:00 A friend told me this weekend that a friend of hers weaned her wee baby of four months from nighttime feeding. I did a double take. At four months? She just stopped feeding her babe at night? Indeed that was the case. WOW! It blew my mind. Personally I would feel major guilt issues of not providing enough nourishment for such a young lil' one.And, yet, the part of the conversation that really got me was when I asked why. My friend said the mother's reason was, "Well, we gotta get some sleep at SOME point." UGHHHH. Yes, sleep deprivation can take its toll. Yes, babies are a LOT of work. But, oh I don't know what words to say! It just made me feel sick in the pit of my stomach to think of a lil' baby crying from hunger and the parents putting their wants ahead of their child's needs. I actually enjoy the nighttime feeding. I just finished feeding Anna. I think she's softer at night. It's so quiet. Just me and her. I love the drunk look on her face as she eats....
The Connection
2008-02-26 02:59:00 About a year ago a friend introduced me to the world of babywearing. At the time John and I were still trying to conceive our little Anna. At first I looked at babywearing as a great tool. A way to make life easier while shopping. Ellen was (and still is) small enough to have in a carrier, so I figured whether I got pregnant or not babywearing was still a great option.Well, fortunately I did get pregnant, and Anna is here to snuggle. I loved holding and snuggling with Sarah and Ellen when they were itty bittys, and even now I still smother them to the point of, "Moooooommmm stop it."But with Anna something is different. I don't know if it's the babywearing or the fact that after losing a baby I'm even more grateful to have her? Maybe it's recent reminders of how quickly those we love can be gone, and that life is just so precious. Maybe it's therapy for me on days that my hormones are out of whack? Or maybe it just feels good to snuggle with a sweet lil' one. (And An... More About: Connection
Slug Monday
2008-02-25 20:00:00 I used to dread Monday s when I was working because the weekends were my relaxing time. Now it's the opposite. I love Mondays. It's the one day of the week that we usually don't have any plans or need to go anywhere. No school for Sarah. No major house renovating (because John is at work). Every Monday the girls and I have a contest to see who can stay in their PJs the longest. Lately Anna has been winning.Ahhh nothing like just stayin' home and being a slug. Maybe I'll get working on my napkins...gotta get the dust off that sewing machine. Maybe I'll just do puzzles and read books with the girls. More About: Slug
Pay it Forward
2008-02-23 15:58:00 Simple concept. Okay, so the big thing yesterday??I bought tickets for a wrap raffle. Not just any wrap. THE wrap I've been drooling over for months. THE wrap that I have wanted for Sarah to have for her children (if/when yadda yadda). THE wrap that isn't available in stores/online at the time. THE wrap that costs and arm and a leg.THE WRAP. A Didymos Silk Millefiori. Mmmmmm scrumptious, beautiful.I lost the raffle. Boo hoo. I was bummed, but kinda figured I wouldn't win. So, I went about my day.Then a few hours later I received a message from the raffle winner saying she would send me the wrap. That she had read how I wanted the wrap as a legacy wrap for Sarah, and that she already had one. Needless to say I was absolutely floored. It literally took me about an hour to get my head on straight and focus on what I had to get done with the girls.So, my little plan was to sell the Stone Millefiori that I "settled" for if I happened to win the raffle. But now I didn'... More About: Forward , Pay It Forward
WRITER'S BLOCK IS OVER!
2008-02-22 23:04:00 We're having a busy day today, and I really don't have time to sit here pecking away at the keyboard, but something wonderful has happened. Someone has been more generous than I would ever expect. And it's someone I don't even know!I cannot believe it. I'm beside myself. I'm touched. It brought tears to my eyes and a big lump in my throat.I'll post details as soon as I get a chance. In the meantime I will be up on cloud nine. WOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOO!!!! More About: Block
Welcome Back Cotter
2008-02-21 07:29:00 He left for work early Monday morning. Just got back tonight. I think I actually woke up last night missing his snore? The girls flipped when he walked through the door. The cat has been giving him the squawks. I got all teary when I got my hug. I'm such a sap. I'm glad he's home. He smells kinda funny and doesn't move very quick in the mornings. But I'd rather have him here than not.I'm not looking forward to his Japan trip. Ellen and I will have to brace for that one. Sarah will be excited just saying he's in Japan, and proceed to describe where Japan is, how to get there and the history of Japanese culture. More About: Back
Earning my Chocolate
2008-02-21 00:02:00 Okay, I've never been much of a shopper. Even before the girls were born. But shopping with children is no fun plus much more work than being at home.It started after dropping Sarah off at school. Anna fussed the entire way to the store (20 minutes). She needed a dry diaper and food asap. I decide to take care of the details in the car because public bathrooms gross me out (especially changing tables) and I'd have somewhere to sit with Ellen contained while Anna ate. Less than 20 seconds after Anna latched on Ellen says, "I need to go potty." Of course you do. Okay, off to the loo. Standing in line nursing Anna, Ellen is dancing and repeating, "Mommmmmmy I gotta gooooo." None of the three people in front of us offered their spot in line. RUDE if you ask me. Come on, the sweet child needs to pee! Well, she finally got to go, and I was impressed she held it. And Anna must have been starving because she never unlatched. LOLI thought I was in the clear. I was wrong.S... More About: Chocolate , Earning
Top Ten Minus Five
2008-02-20 08:03:00 So, I'm in a mood. Let's see....top five things (other than people) my life would not be complete without:(Yes, only five because I'm tired and can't think of 10 without getting all sappy.)5. Alannah Miles,Black Velvet and Eurythmics, Sweet Dreams Best songs ever. John has teased me about these two songs since the day I met him. I stand my ground. They are possibly the two best songs ever written.4. Atlas Shrugged & The Fountainhead, by Ayn Rand I never did finish reading The Fountainhead. I love it so much I never wanted it to end.3. Ben & Jerry's Pistachio Pistachio2. Sunrise & coffee1. Mac OS X
What they said today....
2008-02-19 03:14:00 Sarah~Mommy, I just measured myself with my fingers and I'm 14 feet tall!Ellen, I can't come right now! I'm going poop. And potty. ..pause.. And gas.Charlie bit me. Mommy, look! We're making grass angels!!Ellen~Is it my birthday today? (She's asked me this every day since Sarah's birthday in early January.)Mommy, I'm going to be a trophier when I grow up. I will be the one that hands out trophys!!Mommy, I'm going to be a firefighter and a craner (aka crane operator) and a cowgirl when I grow up.Mommy, when will Daddy be home? (repeat 18 times)Sarah, I have a great idea! How about we play follow the leader? I'm the leader.Anna~Got Milk? (repeat 18 times) More About: Today
Happy Birthday, Mom
2008-02-18 18:31:00 Today my mom turns 60. So, as my daughterly duty I called to express my happy birthday wishes. I didn't expect to get emotional about it. I mean, I just spent six weeks living with her, and although we get along we definitely have different modes of communication.Anyway, she joked saying, "Now I'm old!" "No, you're not, Mom. You've got another 25 in ya..." But then my mind started thinking...only 25, and who's to say really how long we all get to stick around on this ol' rock. I told my mom I loved her. I usually do when I'm getting off the phone with her, but this time I think she could hear the tears in my voice. She knew I really meant it and felt it. And although we may conflict in our conversations, I know that she is always there for me when I need her. I know I can call her anytime, day or night, and she will answer.Happy Birthday , Mom. Thanks for doing what you do, even if it drives me nuts. Oh geez... got a HUGE lump in my throat writing this! Big breat... More About: Happy Birthday
Hey! Easy on the Fluffy!
2008-02-17 05:48:00 Okay, so I scoured the Internet this week and spent our hard earned pennies (i.e. our tax return) on a couple wraps. Okay three, but I sold some of the carriers I already had. So, I'm still in control of this newfound addiction. Sort of...our bank account is helping keep my addiction in check. Anyway, I want to invest in one wrap for each of the girls that we will save for when/if they have kiddos. Sometimes when I get going on something it's hard for me to stop until the task is complete. 80% is not my thing. All or nothing is more my style. Anyway, long story short I "settled" for the Stone Millefiori Didymos for Sarah. I say settled because what I reallllllly want is the Silk Millefiori, but fat chance that will happen. And I found the Stone Mille at a good price.Today it arrived. I grabbed the mail on our way to Car Seat School (short story on that - out of three kids only two mistakes! Woo hoo! And I feel much more at ease knowing I've had their seats checked by... More About: Easy , Fluffy
Charlie!
2008-02-15 05:48:00 I needed a good laugh. And apparently some years later Charlie never learned his lesson...
I'm a Mom
2008-02-14 07:17:00 Some days the girls will do something or say something, and it throws me back. I still can't believe I'm a mom.Today was one of those days. Sarah and I were preparing her valentines for a classroom party tomorrow. And she was SO excited. Granted it was 10 minutes after she scarfed down a scoop of ice cream with peaches, but still. She was jumping in her pants.And I stood there thinking, "I'm a mom. I'm standing here on a weeknight helping my kiddo get ready for school stuff." That's what moms do, right? My little baby is growing up so fast. So I squeezed a big hug out of her. She's delicious.Ellen is really going through some changes. With all that has transpired the past few months she seems to be effected the most. Today she told me she wanted to be a baby again, and yet she asks me every day, "Is it my birthday yet??" Red flag! My little baby Ellen needs more one-on-one time. I'm trying so hard to give the girls that special time, and it's proving to be ve...
Sarah's Quotes
2008-02-13 13:33:00 "I'm going to eat this food with my tastebumps." "Taste buds, Sarah?" "Right, Mom, tastebumps.""I know what an accordion is!! It's an instrument that is used on the Western Range.""I'm serious, Mom. Really, I am.""Sarah, please put your clean clothes back in your dresser and not in the laundry hamper." "Sure, Mom. I promise I'll never do that again. I really promise." (We had that conversation four times this week.)And when she was about two she made up a story that went, "Up upon a tiiime, little boy looooove peanut butter. The End." I just happened to have the video camera rolling, and came across it last week while looking for some old files. "Mom tell me about the day I was born, please." So I tell her and part of the story I say, "And then I screamed really loud. Ellen chimes in, "Mommy it's not okay to scream." "Yes, Ellen, when you are giving birth it's okay to scream." More About: Quotes
Sentimental
2008-02-12 05:27:00 My uncle was the person who gave me meaning to the song "Only the Good Die Young". He lived with me and my family during his high school years. He was more like another big brother. He was awesome. Fun, friendly, happy, patient, real. I was about 15 years younger than him and he still let me "hang out" with him and his friends. He was a pilot (and a damn good one, too, landings like butter). I'll never forget the night his plane crashed. He died. He was gone. Instantly. I still miss him 20 years later. I can still hear his laugh. A close friend of John's and good acquaintance of mine fought a tough battle with cancer and died in his early 20's. It totally sucked. He taught me what a Snake Bite was (best drink EVER). And then a boyfriend from my junior year, truck crashed and he drown in a lake in his early 20s. Another blow. And then, of course, Max. My sweet baby that just couldn't grow. No mother should lose a child. It's just too much.Now my friend is go... More About: Sentimental
WebbyPlanet
2008-02-11 13:55:00 Here you go! A site that has a database of merchantdiscount code that you can use when shopping online.Consumers search for deals at WebbyPlanet.com by product, company name or service. Once a company is chosen, discount details are listed in chronological order. The site also links each deal to the company's e-commerce site, so consumers can immediately take advantage of discounts and purchase products.WebbyPlanet.com is updated daily to provide visitors with the most recent information and discounts available for products as companies constantly change the terms of their discounts. Consumers can also sign up to receive newsletter updates via e-mail to learn about the most recent coupons posted by their favorite companies.Sounds good to me!
Good to Earth and Less Cluttered
2008-02-10 16:04:00 In the past year or so John and I have been working to simplify our home and lives. In doing so we want to make changes that benefit the Earth rather than clog it up.In making these changes I've found so many products that I LOVE! And, well, I wanted to share...Cloth Diapering - This change is probably the MOST earth friendly adjustment we made to our lives. And surprisingly enough, it's NOT as hard as you may think! Not to mention we calculated we are saving about $1,500 compared to disposables.Bummis Super Whisper Wrap - our fave daytime dipe coverFuzzi Bunz - Anna is so comfy at night thanks to these!Kissaluvs - Sooo soft and easy to use under Bummis carries the above items, but you can find them on and other sites, too.Snappis - makes using prefolds a breeze (no diaper pins!)Happy Tushies wet bag - I have a big one for the house and a Wonder Bag for on the go. I love these because I don't have to deal with a bucket or pail, and I can wash them right along with the diaper... More About: Good
College Tuition Sweepstakes
More articles from this author:2008-02-10 07:21:00 Go sign up for the PGP College Education Sweepstakes !I just saw this promotion for a college education contest, thought I?d share. You can win $50,000 towards a college education just by answering some simple questions. Its sponsered by As the World Turns and Guiding Light. Check it out here www.pgpcollegeeducation.com More About: Tuition 1, 2, 3 |
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