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On the Throne for 2 Years???
2008-03-17 13:16:00
Two years. Did you see this? There are so many kinds of wrong with this tale I just don't know where to begin.WHO on this earth would allow a person to sit on the john for TWO YEARS? Two hours? Yeah, after a bad night or with a ripping-your-life-away good book, two hours is hardly noteworthy. I'm sure there are thousands of frat boys out there who clock in two hours on a bi-weekly basis. Two days? Well, if said night was REALLY bad or the ripping-your-life-away good book was three volumes long, two days can be explained. Two weeks? I think at this point we're getting into some questionable territory. Two months? Clearly, there are some issues here. Two years? Into the abyss.She was living with her "boyfriend." Her "boyfriend" allowed her to stay there for (and I know I'm beating a dead horse here) two years. Ok, yeah, he brought her food. And yeah, he brought her water. Oh, all right, he did call for some help. But her legs had atrophied. AND--admittedly I'm being ...
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I'm gonna throw this out there....
2008-03-14 23:34:00
So bear with me. I realize that my logic might be a bit shaky on this one. I am also aware that what I'm about to say may indicate that I'm not really in tune with the human psyche as a whole and it might be time for me to consider a different line of work.(Big, deep, cleansing breath.) Ok, here goes:Trying to commit suicide in order to win back the ex? Perhaps not the best course of action. It may even backfire.Just saying. ->
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Flight attendant? I need a beer.
2008-03-13 07:43:00
Honestly I think there are times when I feel my forehead is nothing short of a billboard: "I AM A SOCIAL WORKER. PLEASE TELL ME YOUR LIFE STORY. AGONIZING DETAIL PREFERRED."Context? On the plane to Manhattan I sat next to a lovely, somewhat provincial young girl. I'm talking 20-years-old-young. She was actually on the same plane out of my state, but ended up sitting next to me on the connecting flight to Laguardia. I happened to mention when she sat next to me that I noticed her on our previous flight. Open floodgates.She obviously had some health problems. The right side of her face was fallen a bit, almost like one would see in a stroke victim. She could talk just fine, but seemed to struggle a bit to get out all of her words. She had a pronounced limp and glaring scars on her neck and her chest. But her smile was like a slice of sunshine and her eyes were so blue you could dive right into the center of them. And she had just gotten engaged! (I got the WHOLE story there. F...
More About: Beer , Flight , Attendant

Go Home!
2008-03-12 14:22:00
Oh my Gawd. There's another one. Can I please, for one day, not have a BEGGAR in the subway station. Please? This one is in a wheelchair, which means he's taking up even more space. (Epic Sigh.) He probably got hit by a car when he was drunk or something. I'm sure it was totally his fault. Ew, he's blind too! EW. He's darker than me. There should totally be a law against this, ya know? Normal, hard-working people should NOT have to see this on their way to work or home. It's just WRONG. Ohmigod, I'm going to have to like, walk right by him. Ok, walk fast. Walk FAST people! I don't want to have to look at this guy. I'm sure he completely smells. I don't want him to rub off on me. He probably doesn't even have his own apartment. Why else would he be down here asking normal, hard-working Americans to dole out their money to him? I mean, really! They need to just go out and get a JOB. Is that so hard? So what if there are maybe 3.5 million people that are homeles...
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Are you Serious?
2008-03-10 01:21:00
So I was in Manhattan this weekend. The Husband was there working and I went up and met him for some fun in the rain, fog, cold and mist. He informed me not long after my arrival that he had my next blog entry nailed. Which is great--less thinking I have to do. Bonus!Before my arrival, he was heading up to Madison Square Garden one night and upon entering the subway he was inundated with what was obviously a balls-to-the-wall hiring campaign from NYC's child welfare division. (Actually they call it "Administration for Children's Services" or ACS.) The entire car was lined with only these adds, posted one after another, all different, all asking a different question. Naturally, I never saw them despite the fact that, at this point, they are plastered in 500 subway cars floating under the boroughs. I was fully prepared to bring out the camera in the car and take pictures of these adds so I could upload and share them with you in all their displayed glory. If I HAD done this, ...

Negotiating Thomas, Act II
2008-03-06 06:51:00
So yesterday I started to tell you about this bill I heard about on NPR when I got a bit side tracked. My apologizes. Thomas just got me all befuddled. Before I go any further, take 3 minutes and brush up on your basic civics:I LOVE that one. They just don't make edu-tainment like they used to, do they? Sigh.The mental health parity bill introduced originally by Senator Paul Wellstone, oh, twelve years ago, says that insurance companies have to provide the same amount of coverage for mental health as they do for physical health. To normal human beings, this would seem perfectly reasonable. You can imagine how the insurance companies reacted to this.Enter The Players: Senator Pete Domenici of New Mexico sponsors the current invocation. Him and 57 other senators (Edward Kennedy being one), the National Alliance on Mental Illness, businesses, and the insurance companies. Can you imagine? That right there is a motley crew, but apparently they all managed to come up with somet...

Negotiating Thomas
2008-03-06 04:35:00
It's a rhetorical question, but just hear me out. Does the U.S. Government EVER make things easy?I heard a story on NPR yesterday morning about a mental health bill being volleyed between the house and the senate. I've now listened to the story three times (I'm not lying...I've nothing but time on my hands on this end) and the reporter never offered the bill number. Small quibble with NPR, but I'll get over it. I'll just go Google the U.S. Congress and get my info there.Right. First of all, negotiating the bloody website takes a Ph.D. in Political Science. Oh, it looks easy enough, but it is nothing short black hole, I'm here to tell you. Did you know they named it? "IT" being the Library of Congress' website, for all intents and purposes. Yeah. Thomas . (As in Jefferson, like you couldn't figure that out.) If the powers that be--and that would be the 104th Congress--felt the need to name the site that would offer all this information (and there's a page or two there), ...

Quotes from the Field
2008-03-05 14:28:00
HIM: I only had one drink tonight.ME: Your blood alcohol level is .268HIM: What does that mean?ME: Well, it means you had more than one drink tonight.HIM: But I only had one! Wait, it was Everclear. Does that make a difference? ->
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Few Things Bug Me, But....
2008-03-04 18:04:00
Oh, the glamorous job of social work! I have to say that those fashion designers, movie starlets, artists in Greenwich Village, directors, and high powered business consultants have got nothing on us. Red carpet? Vera Wang gowns? Jetting to glamorous cities at regular intervals? Hell, that's nothing compared to knocking on doors out in the middle of nowhere with banjos playing in the background. Or getting bit by a Napoleonic dog. Or getting lost in the middle of nowhere and having an over zealous sheriff follow you for 15 minutes. I haven't shared that one with you, have I? Another day. But this following tale is the quintessential social worker glamor story that I've got in my vast repertoire. Read on.Once upon a time, a decade ago, I worked for a mental health center. I was a case manager for a spell, which means working with people who are pretty ill and most likely need some extra help with "daily living skills." Our agency rented some duplexes down the street from ...
More About: Things

Gas Pains
2008-03-03 03:16:00
So I went to fill up my car the other day and nearly required stitches on my chin when I took a good look at the pump. The price was well over $3 a gallon and it cost me $40 to fill my car. Yikes! I'm sorry, but there are just so many more pleasant things I can do with $40, ya know what I'm saying? Forty bucks is good for eight Burt's Bees lip shimmers (Watermelon. Love.), 40.40 songs on iTunes, a pair of jeans, 13 Whoopee Cushions, a nice dinner, an exceptional bottle of wine (at least for me), a couple of cases of really good beer, a sassy pair of heels on sale, 3 new books, or six slingshot monkeys.And then I started thinking about the price of gas and what that means for the less fortunate in our country. OK, so let's break it down. And let me just say this: The data on this topic is excruciating. It goes on for DAYS and can be cut a thousand different ways. Here's something else: I can't read graphs or tables very well. (Ok, that? About the tables and graphs? In social w...

Whoo hoo! Pharmaceuticals!
2008-02-29 05:32:00
Does that thing over there on the left do anything for you? Yeah, me either.OK, how about this: C22H8N2O Does THAT do anything for you? No?Ok, I got one more: N-(1-(2-phenylethyl)-4-piperidinyl)-N-phe nyl-propanamideSee? We non-chemist types miss out on all the fun, don't we? Don't even know a picture of Fentanyl when it's right THERE in black and white. In several different incarnations, I might add. Could it be spelled out any more clear up there? I think not.Fentanyl would be a schedule II drug. What's that? A reasonable inquiry. The wikipedia article on the Controlled Substance Act is a bit--tedious, so I'll give you the most interesting point. Fentanyl hangs out with some bad boys: Percocet, Oxycontin, Percodan, cocaine (topical), Dexedrine, Ritalin (yes, Ritalin--but that's for another day), Opium, Morphine, Seconal, Amphetamine, and PCP among others are all on the schedule II drug list. See anything note worthy about that particular roll call? I'll give you a ...
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Stupid Social Worker Tricks: Episode 2
2008-02-27 22:16:00
Washing your jeans with your cellphone in the front pocket 2 hours before you're supposed to be on call? I don't recommend it.
More About: Social , Episode , Tricks , Stupid , Episode 2

We Are All Connected
2008-02-27 17:50:00
So you may or may not be aware that much of my current job entails me going to hospitals and visiting with people who are in crisis. Many times it's a personal crisis and these people will have threatened to or made some attempt at suicide. Generally the attempts are not serious, otherwise I wouldn't be seeing them.Do I make light of the situations at times? Absolutely. It's a defense mechanism and if you don't learn to do this, you will quite literally go insane. Cops do the same thing, I know. I have a good friend who's an attorney. She and her cohorts refer to child molesters as "kiddy diddlers." Crude? Um, yeah. Funny? Damn straight. Hell, I think every profession has some black humor, especially if you're working close with humans. Because as a lot, let's face it, we're a strange breed.For the most part, after I see a stranger who is contemplating suicide, I am able to continue with my life with little problem (although I may have to "debrief" at some point a...
More About: Connected

Digression
2008-02-26 18:39:00
Life is nothing if not ironic. I have a gym membership to keep me (theoretically) in good physical health and I take pottery classes so I can stay in (theoretically) good mental health. So where, I ask you, did I sprain the HELL out of my ankle over the weekend? I'll give you a hint. It wasn't here:

Canine Woes
2008-02-25 16:19:00
I think the hardest thing one has to face as a social worker is The Knock. Many social workers have jobs that send them into "the field", meaning they have to go to private homes and knock. Knock to inquire if people are abusing their kids. Knock to inquire if people are abusing their little old grandmothers. Knock to inquire if the chronic mentally ill are taking their meds. Knock to provide therapy to one or many. Knock for the home study for adoption. Knock Knock. Who's there? Your shiny, happy Social Worker!! Go away.The first knock is always the hardest. It does get easier, but I'm always a bit queasy when I visit a family for the first time. You just never know what you're going to encounter. And many times you're seeing families under duress (theirs, not yours. Although it could be yours too) which makes the situation that much more stressful. What I did expect in the beginning (naively, I totally admit) was full cooperation from the pets.You know where this is...

So, I was at my local YMCA a few weeks ago....
2008-02-24 00:55:00
OK, I'm sorry, but I can't resist. I just can't. We all know the song, right? I mean, you can't help but GO THERE when you see those letters: "It's fun to stay at the Y M C A!!" (insert aerobic arm movements for full effect.) Well, take 2 minutes. At the very least, take 30 seconds. Because I've bet you've never gone here when you see (or hear) said letters:So, I'm in the middle of my workout and I happen to see a guy looking at me. And it was the kind of expectant look that says "I know you know me. Acknowledge this much." And upon further inspection, I did realize I know him. He used to be a client at the agency that hired me for my first professional gig, oh those long, Long, LONG years ago.God, what to do? I had my earbuds in, The Flaming Lips cranked...at least I hope it was the Flaming Lips. I really don't want to have to tell you it was ABBA or Andy Gibb. What an embarrassment. Anyway, these days it's OK to merely give a smile and a nod when your in...
More About: Local , Weeks

Let the Ranting Commence.....
2008-02-21 20:39:00
See that note card over there? It's nice, isn't it? Lovely shade of contemporary green. Complimentary chocolate brown ribbon and text. Simple yet elegant lining. When you order this card, you get a plethora of liner choices too, so you don't have to go with the Oyster White Taffeta liner option if Lavender Plum Falling Leaves is more your thing. Plus you have numerous choices on your text style and color. Monograms! Motifs! Customize away! I have just one tiny complaint. It's a minor thing really, but I feel the need to voice my opinion on the matter none-the-less. Are you sitting down? Is there a defibrillator handy? Sure? OK. Fifty of these suckers will set you back $581.00 (shipping not included.) Oh, no. I'm not kidding. I understand the lure of luxury items. I really do. I'm not immune to the occasional Coach purse purchase (on sale), and I freely admit that I covet Christian Louboutin shoes (although I don't own a pair. If I did, I would probably bronze t...

Quotes from the Field
2008-02-21 04:10:00
"I'll do anything you want me to do. If you want me to quit drinking, I'll quit drinking. I can just take my Valium instead." ->
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Stupid Social Worker Tricks: Episode 1
2008-02-20 14:55:00
Once upon a time, a LONG time ago, I worked for the state in the Child Welfare Division. I'm sure most of you know what Child Welfare (or Child Protective Services, as some states call it) is, but for those of you who don't, here's the cliff notes: It's a job straight from Hades. The River Styx runs through my town, and naturally I hopped on it for the last part of my commute.The job entails visiting families and telling them to clean up their homes, stop smoking pot in front of the kids, stop calling the kids derogatory names, stop cooking meth in the kitchen. Shaking a baby? Not really a good idea....you get the picture. And mom and dad inevitably get all Libertarian on you during the interview: "It's MY kid, I can treat him how I want." Uh, huh. Except that regardless of what you think, kids tend to not respond very well to industrial grade extension cords used as disciplinary devices. I'm just saying....After one particular interview I conducted with a coworker, I ...
More About: Social , Episode , Tricks , Stupid , Episode 1

WIC changes
2008-02-19 16:08:00
Otherwise known as Women, Infants, and Children. Heres the skinny on this program run by the feds:It began in 1972. Senator Hubert Humphrey introduced the bill. It's a federal program, but every state has their own way of implementing it. Pregnant women and families with children under the age of five are eligible. People considered at nutritional risk may apply (which I didn't know. Learn something new every day.)In FY 2004, approximately 7.9 million people received benefits. Guidelines for 2007-2008 fiscal year: Family of four has to make about 38K or less to qualify. Which is not a lot of money, just in case you were wondering. Paper vouchers are still the norm for most beneficiaries. (manifesto, page 68971)I've always thought it was one of the best programs out there. I heard on the radio this morning that there are now "new food packages to better meet the nutritional needs of WIC participants." This seemingly simplistic statement is naturally accompanied by a manifesto ...

Waiting....
2008-02-19 03:25:00
I can't deeply ponder my job on the nights I'm on call (or ever, honestly), because if I do for any length of time, I'll end up taking a lot of mind altering substances to escape my reality. Which is never good if you want to keep your job. And if you're trying to be an exemplary model of mental health for the people with whom you work (plus your children), generally ingesting mind altering substances at an excessive rate is not the way to go about it.* I work on call for hospitals which means that my employer** doesn't actually have to fork over any real money unless I get called out. And yes, I'm an employee, not a contractor.So what does this mean? It means that in order for me to actually make a decent salary (which is nice if I want to say, pay the electric bill) someone else has to round the bend of sanity. Or someone rounded the bend a LONG time ago and is too far gone to know what year it is, let alone provide me with a good personal history. Or someone must fall i...
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Too bad these didn't make the cut
2008-02-18 00:31:00
Whoo! Second post and I'm already off topic. Can we say ADD? But seriously, why get all mushy when you can go this route? ->
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