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Docs and digression
2008-04-28 09:27:00
We all have our demons. Our stuff. Our skeletons. Our secrets. Our issues.Even medical doctors.Having a career that offers you high societal status, high societal respect, and pays you exceedingly well does not preclude you from making monumentally disturbing decisions.Surgeons are not above having blowouts with their wives and downing an entire bottle of pills.Anesthesiologists are not above stealing meds from their hospital, making a lethal cocktail for the express purpose of offing themselves, and getting the cocktail wrong, thus surviving.Psychiatrists are not above having serious money problems, committing financial fraud, and getting thrown in the pokey.And let me just go off on psychiatrists for a moment. As a breed, on the whole? Whacked. They're a whole entry unto themselves, but we'll take the abridged approach: Look here, here, here, here, here, and here. Here's one with herpes--he likes to spread the love. There's even a blog about them and their antics. And ...

Complete Fluff
2008-04-26 03:00:00
I really I don't think this needs further comment: ->
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BAC for beginners
2008-04-24 15:14:00
So, you know about blood alcohol content, right? People drink, blood alcohol level goes up. The more you drink, higher the content. Simple enough.All U.S. states say if one has a blood alcohol level of .08 g/mL or more, one is legally intoxicated. As an aside, bear in mind that as a social worker, it's my job to set you up with resources. Resource of the day: If you have access to a computer at your local watering hole, you can go here to calculate your BAC before you drive home from those beers after work. Or, you can just be safe and walk, take a cab, take mass transit, pass out in your car....Look! There's even a handy, dandy chart that tells us how we should be feeling when our blood level gets to various points:Blood AlcoholConcentration Changes in Feelingsand Personality Physical and MentalImpairments 0.01 - 0.06 Relaxation Sense of Well-being Loss of Inhibition Lowered Alertness Joyous Thought Judgment Coordination Concentration ...

Join the ranks of the beloved elite!
2008-04-23 05:42:00
So, in some sugar induced madness, I decided a good way to spend my time this evening would be to type "social worker" into You Tube's search engine and see what appeared.I should have drank some wine first.There are some pretty angry people out there. And apparently some really BAD social workers. One woman has a series of videos entitled "My Evil Social Worker" which go on longer than your average sit-com.And I didn't stop with the viewing. Oh, no! I had to go and read the responses too. Some of the more favorable:"Social workers and CPS are evil." (Right, I think we established that up there.)"I love the way, you've caught the condenscending tone of voice that Social Workers use!" (Ok, we're condescending. I'm sure we've all had our moments...)"Social workers are the dumbest of the dumb in the American educational system." (Now that just smarts.)"Social workers are often more disturbed and insane than any of the people they 'help' " (I statement agree necessarily su...
More About: Join , Elite , Ranks , The Beloved , Beloved

There Are Days I Don't Have to Think
2008-04-22 05:26:00
I'm sure the three of you reading have caught on by now that part of my job involves sending people to a psychiatric facility (The "loony bin" in crass, "civilian" parlance.) Sometimes against their will, I might add. I get the call, go to the ER, get the medical story, get the personal story, and then....decide what to do. It's not always fun. I don't generally make people happy. I will own that, ultimately, it's a judgment call when I'm in the trenches. Some calls are bit easier to make than others, however.To wit:When you intentionally cut your wrist--with a box knife, no less--to the point that it needs 20 some-odd stitches (or sutures, in medical parlance), I'm pretty much going to send you packing. You can tell me you were "really drunk at the time." You can sick your father on me. You can threaten to sue me. Bring on the flock of lawyers! I'm not afraid of making my case when you were millimeters from the main artery in your arm (I don't know the medical parlance f...
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Good News!
2008-04-21 05:42:00
Remember my acquaintance who attempted suicide a while back? (You can click on the title to get to my original post on the matter.)I saw him today at the studio and he's back to old form. I asked him how he was doing and he responded he was doing a lot better then he was a few weeks ago. I told him I thought about him quite a bit and was glad he was OK and back at work with his art. I even told him he could talk to me if he ever wanted to: "Remember, I'm a licensed professional in these matters!"HIM: I bet you see a lot of kids like me, huh?Me: Yeah, I do.And then came my advice. The thoughtful, sage advice I was able to offer after 15 years of doing what I do:Me: Don't ever pull this shit again, all right?I'm sure he'll take it to heart. ->
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Pharmaceuticals, the sequel
2008-04-18 05:49:00
Let's discuss acetaminophen, shall we? (And before we go a step further, let me just say this: I BUTCHER that word every. single. time. If you held a gun to my head, I couldn't begin to spell it correctly. When I go to write my diagnosis on my paperwork when this particular drug is involved, I generally just say "Tylenol". Everyone knows what that means, and I can spell that without having to sneak over to a computer to consult dictionary.com.)Alrighty, class. Here we go:Acetaminophen is one of those seemingly innocuous little wonders that you can buy at The Mart of Darkness for pennies right? Get that 2,000 tab bucket for $8.99 and you're set for the rest of your life. It reduces pain! It reduces fever! It's cheap! It can be lethal!Seriously.Too much of stuff starts circulating in your system and boom! Bye-bye liver. This takes a while, too. Nothing quick about going with an acetaminophen overdose.And the thing that's really disturbing about it is that EVERYONE has a...
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Quotes from the Field
2008-04-16 23:52:00
Him: Look, I don't think I need to go the hospitalMe: You tried to hang yourself from the rafters in your attic todayHim: Yeah, but I'm OK now! ->
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Stupid Social Worker Tricks: Episode 6
2008-04-15 20:08:00
When you're lecturing a teenager who is hell bent on abusing alcohol and drugs, it's quite helpful to actually know your facts (and your drugs) so you don't sound like a complete idiot during said lecture.Me: Lortab is a combination of OxyContin and acetaminophen....Her: Actually, it's a combination of hydrocodone and acetaminophen.I had to get the one in 2,013 teens that reads the PDR in her spare time. Little punk. She was right. ->
More About: Social , Episode , Tricks , Stupid , Worker

Hello? Sir?
2008-04-14 04:28:00
I got called to the ICU recently to evaluate an elderly gentleman who was there for heart complications but obviously had some mental health issues as well.When I walked in to the unit and gave his name, the unit clerk's response was:"Oh, him? You're going to have LOADS of fun with him."And then from the nurse:"Oh, Lord. Good luck with that one."And then from the tech:"Have fun!"And then from a random nurse:"Are you here for bed 12? You know he's in four-point restraints, right?"Um, actually, no. Little red flag there.Come to find out, my guy was a bit challenging. In that he liked to curse people out, tried to run away several times, insulted all those involved with him when he was speaking, ignored everyone completely when so inclined, and took aimless punches at people kind of challenging. His face was a disaster from a scuffle with a cop. I never did get that story, which could have gone one of two ways, either of which would have been fascinating:Behind curtain A: What...

Bovine Intervention
2008-04-12 00:39:00
Damn. I wish I had a cow to bring with me to the E.R. ->

I'll take an Egg McMuffin
2008-04-11 15:11:00
Here's something to consider: Even if you're a white collar, highly educated man (read: attorney), and your wife is an educated woman, if the two of you use too much cocaine (read: become addicted), and your wife happens to lose her job (read: arrested for possession), and you happen to let your business go down the toilet (read: way too much Charlie during the day), then someone will likely become quite concerned about your children (read: call child welfare on you). Despite living on the right side of town (read: upper middle class neighborhood) you ARE going to have a representative from child welfare come rap, rap, rapping at your door.And should, during the interview, you leave to "go to the bathroom" (read: go snort a line) then said child welfare official is going to feel that much more inclined to take some serious action (read: remove your children from your care.)Obviously this couple never saw, or at least never internalized the Best. PSA. Ever. Take a ten second walk ...

Parents Shocked! Teen Listened to Their Conversations
2008-04-10 00:49:00
Pleasantville--A local couple in the city were dismayed to discover that information they thought was private is in fact, not. It would appear that despite all beliefs to the contrary, their teenager actually eavesdropped on their conversations, even those held in the middle of the night."Oh, it's a real problem" says Reas Kroicowl, social worker for 15 years in the tri-county area. "Moms and dads believe they're having a closed discussion and low-and-behold, junior is listening in the next room.""She was so sneaky about it!" laments Jane, the mother (last name witheld for the protection of the family.) "All I wanted to do was psychologically blackmail her father who was threatening to leave me and take Dolly with him. I told her father I would tell Dolly that Dolly wasn't his if he left. And then to my astonishment she walked in the room! We didn't even hear her come down the stairs.""Yeah, that was a blow" replied Sam, Dolly's adoptive father of 15 years, when asked about...
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Stupid Social Worker Tricks: Episode 5
2008-04-08 05:18:00
Before you read my confession here, please take note of two important factors which completely affected my judgment when this incident occurred. Number one: I had a bun in the oven. Number two: I was in my twenties.Really, that explains it all, methinks.Here we go:Just because a woman has a rounded, extended belly doesn't mean she's actually pregnant. Thinking it? That's OK. Using it has a conversation starter when you've never actually met before?Right. Not the best way to get your foot in the door with mental health patients. ->
More About: Social , Episode , Tricks , Stupid , Episode 5

Log under: Are you KIDDING me?
2008-04-07 05:20:00
I usually don't rant and rave and carry on like a mad woman at things I read on Post Secret. I love the site and read it religiously every Sunday--it's part of my morning routine. I start looking forward to it on Saturday evening. Generally, when I read disturbing secrets,my heart goes out to the person that wrote it. What can I say? I am a social worker after all. Except for this one, which is there this week. You really need to click the image to fully understand the source of my absolute incredulousness:Window click for full sized imageSent from BlueOrganizerDid you catch that? This (presumably) woman is whining because her father didn't sexually abuse her.What. The. Hell.I'm sorry, but as someone who has seen, and continues to see a lot of sexual abuse survivors, I'm here to tell you unequivocally that the long term prospects for survivors aren't pretty. In fact, 15 years of amassed anecdotal evidence has led me to conclude that it's a down-right ugly way to live yo...
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Caffeine is Underrated
2008-04-04 05:14:00
When the phone rings at 2:23 a.m. it means only one thing for me and my skeelz: time to rally the troops cuz people with their problems await.Normal human beings would trod to the kitchen and immediately get the jo a'brewing in order to help rev the engines. Or just stop at a Starbucks en route. It is the #1 thing that white people like, after all. Except I'm not a very good representative of my Euro-American background, because truth be known, I don't like coffee. Oh, I guess I like it OK if it's loaded with tons of sugar, milk, whipped cream, chocolate chips, cream de Coaco and/or Bailey's Irish Cream, Hershey's syrup and caramel. Or add ice cream instead of milk with all of the above and serve it up like a shake. But just plain 'ole coffee? I'll pass.And for reasons I've yet to decipher, I took it upon myself to give up Diet Coke at the beginning of the year. It was a moment of weakness, making that public declaration, and now I can't go back because I would loo...
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Quotes from the Field
2008-04-03 05:31:00
"It used to be that I would go to work to escape home and go home to escape work. Now work is awful because my boss hates me and when I go home, I'm stuck in my own head." ->
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Damn Code of Ethics
2008-04-02 15:31:00
The title will link you to said ethics of my profession if you care all that much. But I'm here to tell you they can really get in the way. Especially at 3 in the morning.It doesn't happen often that I see someone who I feel doesn't need to go to the hospital yet they themselves feel they do. (People just aren't begging to go to the psych ward--it's not exactly a kegger. Oh, all right. Hurly from Lost was begging to go in the opener this season, but since he's a fictional character, he doesn't count.) However, this very situation recently occurred.A college kid who had mucked up his life in short order felt hospitalization was the answer. I discovered late in the evening he had been making phone calls to other facilities before his arrival at my hospital. That I thought he was using it to escape, didn't really meet criteria for inpatient (based on the information he gave me at the time), and obviously had some hidden agenda for the hospitalization was beside the point...
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Who Am I?
2008-04-01 12:06:00
Ready for a visual metaphor? This, in a nutshell, is my job some nights:

Stupid Social Worker Tricks: Episode 4
2008-03-29 18:54:00
See that chair over there? Looks fairly innocent, right? Right. I strongly recommend that you don't ever underestimate the power of an inantimate object that is designed to possibly take on a life of its own. It could leave your feeling, well, humble and small.You know where this is going, I'm sure, yet I'll continue on with my self disclosure as all hope of you thinking that I'm the pinnacle of dignity and poise while on the job is now utterly lost.I went into a hospital room to talk to someone who attempted suicide one evening a year or so ago. The patient's mother was occupying the regular chair and the only option left to me was the stool with wheels. I could have gone and looked for another chair, but they're a bit heavy and I was ready to get the show on the road. So I grabbed the stool, rolled it over to the bed, sat down and.....this is the part where there was a bit of disconnect between the stool and me....the bastard kept on rolling. I guess the stool felt my t...
More About: Social , Episode , Tricks , Stupid , Episode 4

Miss Manners Says....
2008-03-27 16:16:00
I would like to point out that if you're feeling suicidal and end up in an emergency room, professionals there do expect a modicum of decorum from you. That is to say, you are actually in a hospital and not, for instance, a strip bar. Therefore keeping your undergarments on and the sheet pulled up is not only preferred but expected. Certainly walking around outside of your room and into the ER itself without said coverage is not expected and ill preferred. Just something to keep in mind. ->
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FYI
2008-03-26 17:37:00
My "real" post for the day is entitled "Splitting Hairs." However, I found it lurking under "This is more pressing than OCD". I think because I started writing it on Monday (actually late Sunday night). This is my one complaint (thus far) with Blogger. The date they list on entries is the day you begin writing, not the day you actually post. I take issue with this.In this particular case, it doesn't even make sense, because my war post was supposed to be BEFORE my follow-up post to Friday's, thus the heading: "This is more pressing than OCD." And it was at the time. More pressing, I mean. Yet on the blog, the war post appears after my follow-up, which is a complete affront to all my anal tendencies. And there's nothing I can do about it. I feel compelled to re-name it, but it's OUT there now. I can't do that. And now I've gone on so long with my bitching, you probably won't even scroll down and read what I intended you to read all along.To which you reply:Fine. FI...

Playing with Fire
2008-03-25 08:12:00
I'm going to ask what seems to me a completely rhetorical question. If you don't agree, please forgive my obtuseness. Why, for the love of all that is holy in this world, would someone keep a loaded pistol in their home when they share said home with a drunk? WHY?Let me walk you through a possible case scenario:The drunk is going to drink, perhaps even to excess, one evening (I know, I know. It floored me too. But they really do that). The non-drunk, not realizing how far gone the drunk is because it's before dinner, is going to come home from work and say some random, seemingly innocuous thing to the drunk. And the drunk (being a drunk and all) is going to get upset--maybe even become belligerent. And then drunk is going to start following the non-drunk around and become angrier by the second. And then what's the drunk going to do? Picture the following in a thought bubble over drunk's head:Hey! There's a gun. That's loaded. In the house.And then the drunk, being in t...
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This is more pressing than OCD
2008-03-24 14:03:00
4,000 US soldiers dead since the Iraq war began. And that doesn't count the countless number of Iraqis dead.4 thousand. In five years. Take a moment to ponder that number. Is it really worth it? ->

Splitting Hairs
2008-03-24 12:55:00
Vocabulary time:Impulsive: 1: having the power of or actually driving or impelling 2 a: arising from an impulse impulsive decision> b: prone to act on impulse impulsive young man>3: acting momentarilycompulsive: 1 : having power to compel 2 : of, relating to, caused by, or suggestive of psychological compulsion or obsession compulsive actions> compulsive gambler>addiction: 1: the quality or state of being addicted addiction to reading>2: compulsive need for and use of a habit-forming substance (as heroin, nicotine, or alcohol) characterized by tolerance and by well-defined physiological symptoms upon withdrawal; broadly : persistent compulsive use of a substance known by the user to be harmfulOk, you know what? This post is turning into a convoluted mess in the edit section and, more importantly, in my head. Don't pay any attention to those definitions up there because I don't think they're helpful. This is why consulting the dictionary feels like an act of ...

What's Your Poison?
2008-03-21 20:09:00
I've never heard of them, have you? Apparently they're pretty tasty, though I've yet to try them. People on the junk food blog rave about them. I came to hear about them via my job when I saw a man that wasn't in such a great spot.He's older, but not ancient by any stretch, and has suffered a series of losses in the last five years that would render most people pretty grumpy: health crisis forced him into early retirement, car insurance dropped him after a series of accidents so he can no longer drive, parents dead, only sibling died in a freak accident two years ago, no biological children. The wife works because she has to (they enjoy having such luxuries as electricity, running water and food). He's at home alone during the day and this has taken a tole on his mental health in recent months.And we all have ways of coping, right? The wife tells me he can be a bit compulsive and I probe for more details: Alcohol? No. Drugs? No. Gambling? No. Sex? No. Shopping? Yes.Ah hah...
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Stupid Social Worker Tricks: Episode 3
2008-03-20 18:35:00
It's a really, REALLY good idea to actually communicate with a family BEFORE you spend 90 minutes of your time, 90 minutes of the social worker's time on the other end of the transfer, (token republican statement forthcoming, I apologize....)and 90 minutes of your company's time(I'm SO sorry)making arrangements for a person to be transferred to a particular hospital when, in reality, if that hospital were completely free of charge, had rooms that were not unlike Elvis suites in The Bellagio, Elvis was actually their physician (or at the very least provided the nightly entertainment), and the only hospital available to them within a 500 mile radius, they still wouldn't want to go there:"I don't want want to have ANY thing to do with them! My mother-in-law DIED in that place last year because they were so incompetent." Whoops.Of course, come to think of it, I wouldn't really be all that jazzed up about Elvis suites either. ->
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Quotes from the Field
2008-03-19 14:42:00
"I just want my life to look like the pages of a GQ magazine." ->
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Supreme Logic
2008-03-19 00:39:00
So I don't know if you're aware of this or not, but the Supreme Court heard a case on the second amendment today. Basically, Washington DC outlawed handguns. A lower court said "Oh no you dih--ent" and struck down the decision. DC appealed to the higher court.One lawyer was trying to make his case for having "reasonable restrictions" on types of guns (ie, handguns) and Justice Roberts counters with this little nugget:"So if you have a law that prohibits the possession of books, it's all right if you allow the possession of newspapers?" HUH?Sorry, but the last I heard people don't DIE from concealed books. If you know differently, please, by all means, send me a link. ->
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The R Word
2008-03-18 02:46:00
Unless you've been on the throne for two years, and I know of at least one woman in our fine country who has been, you're well aware that America's economy IS the throne at this point. Let's tick off the highlights, shall we?The subprime mortgage market crashed in late 2006The "housing bubble" burstWall Street soon followedThe loonie on par with the buck. Last time that happened was 1976Credit card industry tightens up. Because they need their $30 billionBear Stearns, the Gordon Gekko of investment banks, got sold in a garage sale to JP Morgan over the weekend. Uncle Sam helped foot the bill. (I know, I KNOW. What were the feds supposed to do?)On Jobs and money: Let's start with the glaringly obvious. Who knows how many of the 14,000 employees from Bear Stearns will end up on the chopping block, but they owned a third of the company. Yeah, those stock options are going to fund their retirement. But it's most certainly beyond just those guys. (And honestly, it's a littl...
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