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When men were men
2008-04-27 11:49:00
When observations take a toll on your mind, they make you frustrated and create an irresistible, inescapable urge to rant. Maybe this post is an example of the burden of silence. I call it the Fair-N-Handsome effect (no offense meant to the brand and the company). Let?s just say that the world has more women than men because there are a lot of men who are actually women, in disguise. These are some of the common symptoms of this infection that calls for immediate emasculation of such feminists:- 1. You?ll find them sticking in and around girls, looking to make an impression that would delight the girl and ?make her day?. 2. ?Guddi, tujhe kya chahiye? Pepsi. Abhi lekar aata hoon. Arey sun, tujhe My Can chahiye ya woh 500 ml ki bottle?? Help yourself. 3. The guy will try to make inky-pinky pansy-wansy Barbie doll impressions, act intentionally foolish (Or maybe is naturally foolish. I am yet to figure the logic out here.) and at loss with his sense of hu...
More About: India , Life , People , Youth , Popular Culture

Do what I tell you
2008-04-24 21:39:00
Return of the self-proclaimed king.US State Department: "We would hope that the India n government, or any government that was engaging with the Iranians, including with President Ahmadinejad, would call on him to meet the requirements that the Security Council and the international community has placed on him in terms of suspending their uranium enrichment activities and complying with other requirements regarding their nuclear programme".US would "encourage" India to ask Iran to end its "rather unhelpful activities with respect to Iraq, with respect to support for terrorism, including organisations like Hezbollah and Hamas, and to otherwise become a more responsible actor on the world stage".We all know how the US of A likes to interfere in the foreign policies of so many countries when it comes to preserving their own suspicions of other ones. And now they have once again tried to poke their noses into Iran President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad?s upcoming visit to India. This is what the ...
More About: Politics , United States , Government

Say hello to league cricket
2008-04-20 23:17:00
In what is set to turn cricket into a rabid, monstrous business, the India n Premier League kicked off in Bangalore amid the hype that is certainly here to stay. It?s cricket, cricket and more cricket than ever. The obsession just got worse. Fast-paced matches, inter-city rivalries, cheerleaders who make as much of an impression as the players and most importantly ? a format of the game that seems to be played on steroids and takes passion in the Gentleman?s game to a whole new level.Never before has India witnessed such an extravaganza in sport (although inter-city rivalries do exist in football?s I-League). Never before has an Indian crowd expressed an unnatural silence when Rahul Dravid hits a four, and followed it up with ecstasy at his dismissal. Never before have the corporates and film stars been so heavily involved with sport. This is a new era.But this is league sport just the way it should be. It has existed for years in other countries and people thrive on their local club...
More About: Cricket , Sports , Life , People

Vadodara catastrophe - An unfeeling from hell
2008-04-16 18:14:00
When 41 children die in a road mishap, then we can probably compare such a tragedy to any national calamity that has been a part of the past and our instant reaction would have to be OH-MY-GOD, even if you are an atheist. This particular tragedy took place today in the city of Vadodara in Gujarat when a bus carrying 44 people (41 among them children, most studying in standards 8th and 9th) fell into the 60-foot deep Narmada canal with reports stating that the driver lost control of the bus.The state government has announced a one lakh rupees compensation package for each of the victims, but there is truly no recovering from such damage. Sometimes life throws up situations that are beyond human control. And when our weaknesses (read children) are the ones affected, then every other thing seems very, very ordinary.Reality?s harshness was belligerently exposed in this mishap, but the root cause of such life-altering events is us, we the inexplicably ignorant people. I won?t say that th...
More About: India , Life , People , Youth , Hell

U, Me Aur Hum - A birdbrain's delight
2008-04-13 10:49:00
I always make an effort to watch the right movies when I do watch movies. And here?s one more case where I made a mistake I whole-heartedly regret. I saw U, Me Aur Hum with a group of friends. And I have to say ? it was an exhilarating experience.Ajay Devgan is actually a very talented actor who has produced spell-binding performances in the past, in all kinds of movies. But he definitely lost track of this one as his directorial debut featured everything that you don?t want to see from an actor of his excellence ? despicable SMS jokes included in the movie out of clear-cut lack of creativity in the script, unwarranted one-liners aimed at motivating us into sexual overdrive, unfitting romantic sequences and an Alzheimer?s with bonus days.Some of the scenes in this movie are so hopelessly envisaged and executed that you wonder what kind of lost logic Devgan was operating on while drawing up the framework. The movie is basically about Devgan and Kajol?s on-cruise love story followed u...
More About: Films , Delight

Of free colour TVs, a Supreme Court verdict and item numbers
2008-04-10 11:27:00
With the Congress hell bent on capturing Karnataka and the BJP equally pumped up in forming the new government, the upcoming state polls could be a prelude to the Assembly elections next year. Offering free colour televisions to families below the poverty line and ever-increasing-in-price rice at Rs. 2 per kg can be seen as moves to draw votes from the poor. ?We are running out of time, we needed to come out with something that will help us win back our traditional votes.? Words of a Congress worker. Enough said.Meanwhile, Arjun Singh emerges as the winner in the general India n youth vs. OBC Quotas saga. The HRD minister said he felt vindicated at the Supreme Court ?s decision to retain 27% reservations in educational institutions. The only reprieve for the much-mobilized youth is that the creamy layer in the OBCs becomes a part of the General quota. Now that you really can?t do anything about it let?s hope that the ones who do take advantage of the reservations come good.Another mov...
More About: Politics , Government , Films

Inflation, the UPA and 76 runs
2008-04-03 18:40:00
Facing heavy pressure from the Left and the BJP, the UPA government has finally taken steps to reduce a high-speed increase in prices of food products. Inflation touched 6.68% last week, but there is clearly a global food crisis. Bumper stocks have fallen and the UN has warned the world that 36 nations face an impending food shortage. Rice and wheat are the worst hit, with prices at an all-time high. The UPA is facing a critical phase in national politics, which will test its decision-making abilities and crisis management skills. Problems with the BJP regarding the Kandahar issue are surfacing and their Hisaab Maango campaign to get Uttar Pradesh chief minister Mayawati talking about corrupt activities in the state will add more pressure, if nothing else. This certainly won't help the Congress in their election bid for the upcoming Assembly polls, although evidently they are targetting exactly that.On par with such problems was a dreadful display by India on Day 1 of the second Te...
More About: Cricket , Politics , Sports , Government

Breaking News
2008-03-30 14:30:00
A day in the life of the aam aadmi would never be complete without a sinister appearance from the new age pavitra Bharatiya nari Rakhee Sawant, an update on the phenomenal transfer of Lord Shiva?s powers to WWE wrestler The Great Khali, a more recent unearthing of a female version of the Khali whose balloon-blowing act on her rooftop inspired me to monkey-jump on my seat with childlike joy and not to forget, brought a halt to life in the world?s second most populous country.If there is nothing to enlighten us with, then create something and let know. That is to say, serve something overcooked and utterly bitterly flavorless that finds its way into the everyday diet of the common man. This seems to be the modus operandi of the mainstream media in this path-breaking era of television journalism where there is hardly any difference between news and nonsense. The difference has been minimized to a negligible measure called ?choice?. We can only choose to see it or not to see it. But thi...
More About: News , Television , India , Humour , Breaking News

Indian English
2008-03-27 19:57:00
In an age where English has assumed astronomical importance in terms of getting a career and a life, we still find our own ways of getting the message across even if our vocabulary is limited or our ignorance needs to be pacified. And that involves manipulating the world?s business language in ways that suit us best.In fact, if the verbal India n curry hadn?t been garnished with desi English toppings, then it would hardly have turned out to be as delicious as it is today, no? Our fundas are clear. Our mugging works better than ever in schools and colleges. We are as enthu as ever. More despo than frantic desperation. So congo for that, friends.The West may feel that our English has gone for a toss. But I love this language of ours more than priceless Shakespearean writing. Our English is basically very very sexy. So what if their head starts paining or their brains go haywire? Arey people don?t mind the eve-teasing please. What we actually mean is ki we love being unique and differen...
More About: Humour , Indian , Popular Culture

Weak in the knees
2008-03-22 17:31:00
Nothing hurts as much as some of India ?s bend-to-your-knees policies regarding international issues. Tibet, Taslima Nasreen, and so many others will pay testimony to this fact while terrorists, China, the West and all other traditionally anti-Indian entities will enjoy a wicked laugh. If we chose to blame ourselves, we would be wiser.Because, it is certain that we cannot deal with sensitive issues as we would like and that governments needs to learn and improve from past mistakes like Mohammed Afzal and Kandahar. Pressure from the Left led to the nuclear deal?s progress coming to a disc-brake generated halt. Sometimes we are too sensitive, sometimes not smart enough. Sometimes, we don?t know what we are doing.Like Nasreen rightly said before exiting the subcontinent ? ?"A person who couldn't be scared by fundamentalists has been defeated by cold-blooded state terrorism inflicted by the Indian government. My terrible experience has shattered all my notions about a secular, democrati...
More About: Politics , Religion , Government , Democracy

Hockey?s untold story: What the media doesn?t tell YOU
2008-03-12 11:04:00
The headline of this post would indicate that I have some closed-circuit information to reveal to all. No please. There isn?t any controversy brewing. It?s just that you would have realized that what the media doesn?t tell us is actually covering hockey enough in their page spaces and TV timings.But just like the typical masala mind of us India ns everywhere, they are gleefully covering the defeat to Britain that ensures the players stay at home during the prestigious tournament this year. Tormenting the Indian Hockey Federation(which apparently hasn?t done any good to the sport), lambasting the coach, support staff and players and sparking cold reactions from past legends is all the media can do. The sports pages of the nation?s news delivery products were filled with stories fuming at the team and photos of downbeat Indian players in Santiago after the defeat. It has never happened in 80 years of Olympic hockey history. But does anyone really care? I don?t think so. Not least, ...
More About: Television , Media , Sports , The Media

Women and Microsoft
2008-03-09 11:49:00
Microsoft India held a special recruitment drive for women in the Indian IT industry. In celebration of Women 's Day on 8th March, a full-scale placement program was held in various cities across the country. Being in Infosys currently and nurturing dreams of joining companies like Microsoft, Oracle or Yahoo, I pondered over the logic of this endowing testament to women.So, why did they conduct such a walk-in? I have no clue really. Maybe, they are short of women employees. Maybe they want to balance the ratio of men and women in the company. Maybe, it's an International Women's Day tribute from the world's best software company.Interesting, isn't it?
More About: Microsoft , Information Technology

Plastic Theory
2008-03-05 17:53:00
When a man can give as stellar a performance as the one that Shahrukh Khan gave in Chak De India and produce that despicable, deplorable and appalling show at the Filmfare Awards 2008, then something just isn?t right. He is an example of how to create a positive image that is totally accredited to others (directors, script writers, dialogue writers and all the other noble men who have made Shahrukh ?King Khan?) and in the meantime be your dim-witted, futile self when you want to be so.Yes, this is Shahrukh Khan. The way we don?t know him actually. Given his God-gifted talent, you?d expect him to produce the kind of work he has done in Chak De & Swades and the other rare good films of his. But the guy is clearly blank from within and is more a plastic icon than a role model.Since there is God in India and after God there?s him, most of us will have enjoyed it like all the other dustbin fillers of the film industry did on the fateful night. But there is really no logic behind that aby...
More About: Television , Icons , Films , Theory

Hope's greatest icon
2008-03-02 22:14:00
If ever there was a part of my youth that I am truly proud of or feel rather gifted to have witnessed and be inspired by, then it is having lived through the zenith of Sachin Tendulkar?s illustrious cricketing career. The great man must have lit up the formative years of so many others like me, who were inspired by his magic, talent and most importantly, himself as a person.The un-complaining, never-whining, always calm Sachin taught us how to fight even when everything is seemingly conspired against you. He has been the victim of the harshest of umpiring errors and probably even a lot of abuse that we never notice on TV or while attending the matches. But he is still loved and cherished simply because Tendulkar is a lesson by himself in anger management, showcasing the right attitude and embracing greatness without a sense of self. He is a stand-out example of a theory that has never been given the kind of respect it deserves ? the talk less, do more supposition.There is immense pl...
More About: Cricket , Icon , India , Sports , Icons

Absurd Indian Thoughts & Implementations
2008-02-28 20:47:00
With nothing happening in the world to blog about as such (There is a lot happening actually, but like the gossip-stricken India n media, I?m more concerned about a spat on a reality TV show, Shahrukh Khan appearing in an item song and Kareena Kapoor inaugurating a jewellery store), I decided to hop back in time to pluck out some of India?s most embarrassing ideas and their even more delirious implementations. Regional pride and the ?Sons of the soil? concept are numero uno in the list. In what is an absolutely baseless, senseless, hopeless, half-mental and three fourth-detrimental school of thought, Raj Thackeray and the MNS have outdone all other embarrassing Indian ideas to actually create a North-South divide that is anti-constitutional, anti-national and all the other anti?s you could pick out from your understanding. God only knows what Thackeray had in mind when he decided to undertake some ?noble work? for his ?fellow populace?. Unleashed on the roads were wild Marathis who s...
More About: Cricket , Sports , Weird

Mannequins at work
2008-02-26 14:10:00
There would be numerous instances of how prime time TV comprising the baas, the saases, the bahus and four to five of their following generations (and counting), the privilege of which is beyond the understanding of any human being, affects the bona fide baas, saases and bahus of our world. Firstly, I?ve seen people hold up their hands in incredulous agony when a protagonist in the soap is killed off, albeit temporarily of course. Screeches of ?Nahiiiiiii? from the various make-up dolls surrounding the dead corpse on screen and the terror unleashed on people on this side of the TV set make the hackneyed dialogue ?Main lut gayi, barbaad ho gayi? sound refreshingly new. This junk is then followed up with ear drum-traumatizing musiiiiiiiiiic (The relay is as distorted and disturbing as the word ?music? written in this format and can give rock star-cum-nasal connoisseur Himesh Reshammiya a run for his money.) and split-second snapshots of bewildered support cast in a sequence generated ...
More About: Television , India , Work , Mannequins , Serials

Sons of the Godforsaken soil
2008-02-25 14:04:00
Even as young Indian bowler Ishant Sharma tries to vindicate national pride over regionism (I don?t think this word exists. But we may have just invented it), the parochial nature of us Indians will never cease. Sharma?s fearless (Many of us will again have a different view on his actions. I heard one guy tell another guy ?Look at Ishant overdoing it. One of these days, Symonds is going to beat this kid up.? Our first thought as usual is that the white-skinned are magically more powerful, blessed with brute force gifted from the Gods above that is just beyond our scope. They say we bowed down to them till August 17, 1947. But I?d say that somehow somewhere we still do so.) show of aggression is welcome, actually. The ICC chose to focus on the youngster and fine him 15% of his match fees. But if it inspired many of us one billion citizens to stand up to our adversaries, then it is a minor loss.So, the Aussies still haven?t got used to the cricket world waking up to sledging. It?s tru...
More About: Sons

Of teenage moms, mob fury and SRK vs. Darsheel
2008-02-23 10:56:00
It?s a weird world. No wait, it just got weirder.This ?weird? piece on DNA India ?s website reports about an Argentinean girl who is the mother of seven kids at the age of just, well yes, 16. She had given birth to a boy at the age of 14 and followed that up with two sets of triplets in consecutive years giving doctors something to brainstorm on. I?d written about my feelings on mob justice in modern India in a previous post. And now we have a second case to reflect on. Two students in Hajipur, Bihar engaged in a fight over a mobile phone which turned ugly when one of them stabbed the other, dragged him onto the streets and was ?assisted? in this self-endorsed act of justice by a mob. Our age-old habit of chickening out and turning into mere spectators came good once again. Not just the people, even the police.If anything improves in the country with time, it is the degree of controversy generated by a syndrome of ?we-hate-each-other-so-damn-much? actions complemented by an in-built ...
More About: Weird , Films , Aamir Khan , Moms

Mind-bogglers that you just can't answer.....
2008-02-21 20:59:00
Here's a quiz you'd rather not take.1) Why does Bollywood nobody Sajid Khan appear on Headlines Today's cricket special regarding the moolah set to be raked in by the Indian Premier League's pool of players?2) Why did Ashutosh Gowarikar select pretty boy Hrithik Roshan for King Akbar's role in the film Akbar-Jodha?3) Why are producers making films for Himesh Reshammiya? And more importantly, why are the names of his movies(Aap Ka Surroor, Karzz, A Love Iiisshtory) forcing us to stress our nasal capabilities, which he so expertises in?4) Why has Shahrukh Khan's interest in sports upscaled suddenly? (Hint: The IPL will be watched by millions of people around the country. SRK has a movie coming up soon. Pick up the pieces.)5) Why has so-godly regular-cleavage-popping damsel Mallika Sherawat been cast as a friend of Jesus Christ in an upcoming Hollywood movie?6) Why have such things forced me to become so retarded?
More About: Quiz , Films , Answer , Mind

Save Pakistan, Save Democracy
2008-02-17 17:06:00
The fate of our dear neighbors hangs in the balance. Pakistan goes to polls tomorrow with the entire world set to keenly observe the elections unfold in the democracy-turned-autocracy of South-east Asia. Pakistan, as a nation, has failed to hold itself together ever since Pervez Musharraf pioneered that extraordinary coup towards the end of last century.The same man has since gone on to establish himself as the supreme tyrant of the nation and democracy has been completely compromised. Terrorism has taken its toll, tensions have remained high and Musharraf remains the difference between their degeneration and regeneration as a nation. His resignation as Chief of Army Staff last year was by no means the end to problems in the country. A BBC World Service Poll has claimed that most Pakistanis believe that the country could take a step towards restoring themselves if Musharraf resigned. Something that hasn?t happened yet, and looks rather unlikely. The civilian president of Pakistan co...
More About: Democracy , Save

Cheating champions
2008-02-16 20:16:00
Some things never change. Some lessons are never learnt. Some Australia ns never stop cheating.Another dubious catch. Another pitiable umpiring decision. Another immoral Aussie win.Yes, it was an eventful day at the WACA in Perth. Firstly, Adam Gilchrist?s farewell at his home ground couldn?t have been scripted better. The guy deserves to be honored as the greatest wicketkeeper-batsman to have ever played the game. He will be missed of course. A final spectacle was what his home crowd sought and that is exactly what he gave them. What we witnessed was an extravaganza of runs from Gilly that accounted for half of the Aussies? total against the Sri Lankans. And in reality, was the reason for their win.The Lankans in reply exploded onto the scene, but you wonder whether that was the need of the hour. When you have 6 players on your team whose batting averages don?t even touch the 20-run mark, then you shouldn?t seek a run-rate of 6-plus when chasing 236. Even if you have three of the wo...
More About: Cricket , India , Cheating , Champions