Problem GirlProblem GirlThe adventures of a SAHM who spends her time talking about baby poop, parenting a child with Asperger's, being a surrogate, trying to tame her dirty laundry and getting riled up over current events. All this and more! Articles
Multiple choice quiz for buttheads
2007-10-14 04:05:00 This is a simple quiz, just one question: You and your spouse are having a tough time getting the kids to bed one night. It's turning into an hour and half long process. There are tears, raised voices, kicks, and shrieks. And that's just from the seven year old. At one point you go to get yout two year old yet another healthy snack since she seems to be acting hungry. You heave a mighty sigh on your way out of the kitchen. You wife smiles at you and says "It'll be ok" in her best encoureging voice. The proper response is to:a) Say nothing. There's no time for small talk.b) Smile back on your way out of the room.c) Stop and say "Thanks, I needed to hear that. It's really been a rough night."d) Roll your eyes and (in a louder than nessecary voice) say "I can sigh if I want to!" then storm out of the room.Answer key: a, b or c would be acceptable. d is what Jesse did. Color me annoyed. More About: Quiz , Choice , Thea
I will not cry, I will not cry, I will not cry
2007-10-12 16:06:00 My babies are growing up. How does this happen? I remember the day Joseph came to our house like it was yesterday. And I remember the day Elle was born like it was .... this morning. And then I blinked and they grew up.Elle turned two yesterday. I can't even wrap my head around that. I can so clearly remember waking up the night before she was born and thinking "Is that a contraction? I think that's a contraction. A real contraction!" I was so excited that I was going to be able to meet my little girl and now she's here and she's more amazing than I ever would have dreamed she could be. She's soft and girly, feisty and rough n' tumble, sassy and sweet. My funny little monkey.Joseph is another one. Yikes. Sometimes I forget he's getting older because he always seems to stay the same size. Then he goes and does something that reminds me he's not a baby any more either.The other day we were in the car and Joseph started talking to us about some girls at school he likes. He told...
Did someone mention adoption?
2007-10-10 19:55:00 I don't like know-it-alls. Well, let me clarify that. I don't like certain kinds of know-it-alls. I don't mind people that really do know it all and have interesting things to say. I don't mind know-it-alls like myself who sit back and quietly think "I know more about this than anyone here but I also know enough to know that not everyone wants to hear every single thing that pops into my head". The know-it-alls I can't stand are the ones who think they know it all and when they sense that they're around someone who knows less than them it makes them feel all puffed up and important. I've found though that if you give this type of know-it-all enough rope they will almost always hang themselves.One of the dads in the parent/child class Elle and I go to is one of these obnoxious know-it-all types. He seems to consider himself the expert on all things relating to adoption. His daughter is adopted and that seems to be all he wants to talk about. I heard him bring it up 7 times in ... More About: Adoption , Some
The halfway mark
2007-10-08 23:42:00 I'm 20 weeks pregnant today. That's crazy. Part of me feels like I've been pregnant forever. I think it's because I've been involved with the process of trying to get this pregnancy going forever. Part of me feels like I just got pregnant yesterday. I'm only just now starting to feel pregnant. When I look down I can see a definite baby belly and now I can feel the baby move all the time. Every time I eat he starts moving all over the place. Elle always moved a lot. She stretched out, turned around and got the hiccups a lot. This kid kicks. Hard. It's a very different sensation than I ever felt with Elle. It's kind of neat but it does make me worry about how it's going to feel when he's got a little more weight on him.Here's a meal idea for those times when you find yourself having to feed a pregnant woman: Melt shredded cheese on a piece of bread in the microwave. Slather on ketchup. Add another piece of bread to complete the sandwich. Repeat those stepc ... More About: Mark
Does this fat make my butt look big?
2007-10-06 20:38:00 A story on the MSN homepage: "It's in the bag: Pick the perfect purse for your body type"Great, not only do I have to worry about my jeans making my butt look fat and my fat butt making my butt look fat but now I have to worry about my purse making my butt look fat. Don't we already have enough to worry about? Women (and by "women" I mean "women other than me" because I don't give a flip about any of this stuff) already have to be sure that their purse matches their shoes and their outfits and their hair and the season. When picking out my last purse I also had the added criteria of it being a) big enough to hold all my regular crap plus a diaper and a box of finsens and about 12 pounds of change b) reasonably cute c) on sale for less than $20. Do we really need to worry about making sure that we have the right purse for our body type? Does anyone really care about that? Really?Speaking of big butts ....... my derriere is growing larger by the day. Do you ever see those pregnant ... More About: Make , Butt
A very rude little girl
2007-10-05 19:41:00 My mom told me once that when I was at the age where I had started school and my brother had not he would always look forward to me coming home so that he could ask me what I had for lunch that day. Every day when I came home he would run to me and say "What did you have for lunch today?" and I, being the loving older sister would yell "Augh! Stop asking me that all the time!"God, what a little bitch. Why didn't I just tell him what I had for lunch? Was it really so much to ask?Ben, if you're reading this, and if it makes you feel any better (because I'm sure you're still wounded all these years later) I seem to remember eating a lot of pizza, mashed potatoes, soyburgers and corn with black flecks in it. More About: Girl , Rude , Little Girl , Litt
A fun tip for those looking for casual sex
2007-10-04 23:44:00 Here's a tip that's great for the whole family. Let's say you're a guy seeking a casual sexual encounter for you and your wife. Don't go posting an ad on Cragislist where everyone in the whole world can see it. Everyone. Everyone including your cousins wife who already thought you were sleazy and gross and nasty and now has a way of proving it to everyone. You may especially want to heed this advice if you look like a drowned rat on a three day meth binge.WARNING: This link is NSFW. Do not click it if there are children, elderly people, small pets, houseplants or tropical fish in the room. More About: Casual
Asperger's is not a bad word
2007-10-04 19:15:00 A while ago I found myself reading several blogs by parents who had children like Joseph. Extraordinary children who were facing some difficulties in school and social settings. Some of these parents readily embraced the fact that their children were living on the autism spectrum. Others did not. I found myself bouncing between the two schools of thought. Some days I was angry when I thought about being told that Joseph had Aspergers . I didn't want to accept that his differences were there and I didn't want to accept that those differences might put a lable on him. I didn't want him to have Aspergers and I didn't want everyone looking at him a certain way and expecting certain things out of him because he of it.Some days I was ok with the whole thing. Not most days though. Most days I still thought things like "There's nothing wrong with him at all! He's not out of order! The system is out of order! Who cares if he's different! Different is better and everyone on... More About: Word
Hi sweetie!
2007-10-04 01:55:00 Elle and I had our first day of parent/child school today. Every Wednesday for the next 19 weeks we'll go to "school" for 2 hours in the morning. Elle really seemed to enjoy herself. I think her favorite part was snack time. All the parents sat in a circle for discussion time and all the kids sat at a table and had crackers and watermelon. She really got a kick out of having snack with the other kids. She kept standing up and calling "Mama! I have snack! I eating! Fun! Mama! I have lunch!" It was very cute.Even cuter though was when she came running over after snack to check in with me. She hugged me and said "Hi sweetie!" Awwwwww. Couldn't you just eat her up.Of course classes like this do have their drawbacks. Everything like this that I've ever done with one of my kids seems to have at least one stupid parent in it. This appears that it will continue that streak. I had to bite my tounge a couple times during discussion when some of the other parents were aski...
Good times, good times
2007-10-03 04:00:00 You know what's fun? Spending the day watching 3 kids under the age of 3. You know what's even more fun than that? Being 2 minutes into your day of babysitting and finding yourself up to your elbows in a poopy diaper with a baby screaming at you in the background and a kind of urgent sounding message being left on your answering machine. You know what's even more fun than all that? Listening to that message (after you've gotten the kids cleaned up and calmed down) and hearing the voice of the school nurse telling you to come and take your kid into the ER because they got their head cut open during a freak accident on the playground.Thank goodness for mothers. I called mine up, she came over to watch the babies and I drove to the school to get Joseph . He had a small cut on his head that just wouldn't stop bleeding. I guess he was standing next to a little girl on the playground when she started to twirl a jumprope around. The handle swung around and hit Joseph right on ... More About: Times , Good , Good Times
Easy, Breezy, Beautiful Elle Girl
2007-09-29 23:06:00 Elle will be turning two soon. It seems that someone has clued her in to the fact that she's supposed to start being terrible now. She really is trying her best. She'll throw herself down on the floor and shriek "Noooooooooo!" for no reason at all. Then she'll lay there very quietly and watch to see what my reaction will be. Poor thing, she doesn't know what she's up against.She doesn't know that there is nothing she can throw at me that I haven't already seen 100 times over. She doesn't know that living with Joseph for the past 7 years has prepared me for tantrums, melt-downs, over-reactions and general moodiness of all kinds. I don't think she'll be able to phase me at all.You see, Elle is my refresher child. When I've had a really rough day with Joseph and he's got me ready to tear my hair out and scream "I can't do this anymore!" I just have to spend a little time with Elle to remind myself that hey, I can do this and I'm really not half bad at this mothering thi... More About: Beautiful , Girl , Elle , Easy
I love you all too much
2007-09-27 16:07:00 I was at a little get together last weekend and I was telling someone about something or other having to do with my blog. From across the room this woman I hardly even know yelled "You have a blog? You have way too much time on your hands!"Um. Ok. Offhanded slam from a near stranger aside, is having a blog really an indication that someone has too much free time? When did that happen?If you really want some evidence that I have too much time on my hands you ought to check out my reader. No, you shouldn't. I'm ashamed at how cluttered it is. It's way overfull and it's not even a very good indication of how many blogs I read. There's a good sized chunk that I read that I never got around to adding. There are several on there that I don't really like anymore that I never got around to deleting. The disarray in my reader mirrors the disarray in my life.What's really sad is that my bloated reader keeps me away from the blogs I love the most. Most of the time I spend reading blogs ... More About: Love , I Love You
What should I have said?
2007-09-25 18:10:00 Last week Jesse and I wend out to dinner with a co-worker of Jesse's and his wife. Um, the co-workers wife, not Jesse's. Anyway. They were very nice and we had a really good time with them. It's so rare that I get to go out with other adults so it was very nice for me. Mostly. Except for one part. At one point the topic of my surrogacy came up and they were curious about it, asking lots of questions. I'm pretty used to that and at this point I figure I've heard just about everything anyone is going to ask. I guess I haven't heard it all though because after I told them that I was carrying the baby for a gay couple they proceeded to ask me which one was the woman in the relationship.I'm ashamed to admit that my answer was not as good as it could have been. I blame this on the fact that I was so taken aback by the question that a good 50% of my brain had to be devoted to keeping my mouth from blurting out "Holy crap! There are still people out there that think like that!?!" I t...
Stickler
2007-09-21 19:17:00 A conversation with Jesse .Jesse: This has become a stickling point with us.Me: (trying not so smile) Stickling?Jesse: (frustrated) Ok, whatever. It's become a stickle point with us.How can I not laugh when he does stuff like that? More About: Tick
The best baba
2007-09-21 18:51:00 Yesterday the kids were just driving me nuts. It was one of those days where I wondered why I ever decided to have kids in the first place. They were both whiny and cranky and needy and by 4:00 I had had my fill. I set them about cleaning out Elle 's toybox in the living room. I told them to take everything out and sort out thing that didn't belong there, things that needed new batteries and things that were broken and needed to be tossed. You can imagine my suprise when they actually listened and dug right in.For a good 45 minutes they sat on the floor together and cleaned out that toybox. They found things that they had forgotten were in there and that seemed to keep them interested and involved in the task. I sat on the couch reading a book and marveling at my own genius.When they got to the bottom of the toybox they were still going strong. Each time Joseph would pull something out of the toybox Elle would squeal with delight. That is, utill he pulled out the Shrek pup...
Other than pickles
2007-09-20 05:44:00 Elle's new favorite snack is "finsens". I've got a shiny new quarter for anyone who can guess what that is. More About: Elle , Pickles , Pickle
Help me Dr Google!
2007-09-19 18:27:00 I know that no one cares about this but me but apparently my blog is the number one place to go if you think your ultrasound might be wrong. In the last 24 hours I've had nearly 100 hits from google searches like this:"if you see penis on baby sonogram could it be wrong" - If seeing a penis is wrong then I don't want to be right."told its a boy it turned out girl" - Maybe this isn't about an ultrasound. Maybe it was about a blind date gone terribly wrong."girl turned to boy ultrasound" - That sounds magical."baby boy or girl - how often are ultrasounds wrong?" - I don't think they're wrong very often but it seems like a lot of people out there are really wishing they would be.And then I've got the usual assortment of freaks and weirdos:"girl wear maxipad" - Fire bad. Maxipad good."video girl sitting cushion" - Hmmmm. Yes, I see."i feel like there is water stuck after using neti pot" - Welcome to my world."i'll take care of it myself joke" - This sounds like a fun person to be... More About: Google , Googl
Google is love
2007-09-18 17:34:00 Like many of my fellow bloggers out there I get a lot of odd google hits. Here are some of my recent favorites.if someone eats something and it is not good what should the girl do in school? - I admit that this one has me totally baffled. I cannot figure out what in thw world they could be asking about.can baby have adhd - My three month old is distracted by shiny things. Should I medicate him? Searches like this scare me.how to deal with a girl that doesnt like you and how to make her like you - Treat her bad and then don't call her for weeks at a time. That's what always seemed to get me to like a guy back in my younger days.if doctor said baby is good looking, he means boy or girl - It clearly means your doctor is attracted to babies. And whatever you do, don't ask the doctor what he means. Turn to google for help analyzing his cryptic comment.boob glorious boobs - I only find this interesting because I get so many of them. And they're almost always from somewhere in ... More About: Google , Love , Googl
How I became one of THOSE women
2007-09-17 20:12:00 Not long before Elle was born my brother mentioned that he and his then-fiance were wondering if I would be the type of woman to just nurse right out in the open. (Translation: His horrid wench of a fiance ran out of things to bitch about so she decided to try and bash me via speculation about how I would feed my future child. Sound like I'm reaching? I'm not. Trust me, you didn't know this chick.) For some reason the question really offended me. I mean, of course I wouldn't be one of THOSE women! I would nurse my baby but I would do it discreetly and out of everyone's sight. I would offend no one with the sight of my breasts.For a while after Elle was born I really stuck to that. I didn't want to leave the house when I knew that she would have to nurse soon. And since she had to nurse every one or two hours I didn't leave the house much at all. When I did leave the house and had to nurse I would go to extreme lengths to nurse in private. I would find nursing rooms, changing ... More About: Women
Why I should not be allowed to shop when I'm pregnant
2007-09-14 22:28:00 What I went to the store to buy:yogurtmilkWhat I ended up buying at the store:yogurtmilkOreo Cakesterscheddar cheese soupbroccoli cheese soupvegetable beef soup1 pound container of my favorite pasta salad from the delifrozen beef ravioli1 pound of boneless buffalo wings from the delichex mix (all chex!)tortilla chipsfrech onion dipbacon dippantyhoseShockers sour candy (in a sqeeze tube)I think I need help. More About: Pregnant , Shop , Allo
Joke's on me
2007-09-14 19:55:00 Well, ha ha. Don't I look the fool here? Turns out that the quad screen showed an elevated level of something-or-other-medical-sounding in my blood. The clinic called and said I needed to come in RIGHT NOW for a level II ultra-sound. Turns out the reason they were so urgent about it is because a high level of this particular whatever-it-is can indicate that the baby has died.J managed to get to the clinic right before the ultrasound started and I have to say that all things considered he handled it all really, really well. As soon as the ultrasound wand was placed on my stomach we got to see the baby kicking wildly around. I was pleasantly surprised when I saw those kicks because they matched up with the little fluttering that I've been having in my tummy that I've been attributing to gas. The ultrasound tech said that the baby's placenta is all right up front so it's acting as kind of a cushion and that's why I might not be feeling the movement very strongly. Now that I know ...
It always gets me
2007-09-13 20:42:00 I cry every time I watch this. Every single time. (You might need to be familiar with the show to enjoy this clip.) More About: Futurama , Always
9/11
2007-09-12 00:42:00 I can remember it like it was yesterday. That's saying something for me because I can't even remember yesterday like it was yesterday.Joseph had woken up very early that morning wanting something to eat. I fed him and then put him back to bed so that he could get a little more sleep. I kissed Jesse goodbye as he headed out for his insane 2 hour commute, turned on the tv, took of my glasses and laid down on the couch to catch a few more moments of sleep.I don't know how much later it was but I was woken up by the phone ringing. Still half asleep I stumbled over and answered the phone."Ello?""Oh Jenny, are you watching tv? It's so terrible!"It's my mom. Why is she crying like that? Did something happen to someone in my family? And are they talking about it on tv? Wait, what is that on the tv? Smokestacks? Is that some sort of factory? Why is there a factory on tv and why is my mom crying about it?I go back over to the couch and put my glasses on. I still see smokestacks on the sc... More About: 9/11
I'm dying over here
2007-09-11 22:31:00 J is killing me. Killing me I tell you. He came with my to my 16 week checkup with my obgyn. I knew it was going to be interesting. What I did not know what that J was going to spend a good 40 minutes asking questions like "Jen mentioned she's been really tired. Could that mean she has gestational diabetes?" Yes, he really said that. Even the doctor was like "Wha? Um, no. She's tired because she's pregnant. That's pretty normal."I also had to get blood drawn so that we could have a quad screen done. Ok, now that in itself might not sound like a big deal. However I think it's 100% unnecessary because we've already had a level II ultrasound done that pretty much ruled out any chance of the baby having Downs. The doctor agreed and said that the test was pretty redundant at this point since Downs had already been ruled out. J decided that it had not been ruled out enough! Yes, he wants a test that is less accurate to confirm what he has already been told by a more accurate test.Th... More About: Dying
The medication question
2007-09-10 18:13:00 Joseph is on medication. That's not something I say very often because the fact is that I'm not totally comfortable with it. Back when I was young and had no kids (and therefor knew everything there was to know about parenting) I felt very strongly that kids in this country are way over-medicated. In fact, I still feel that way. I think that a lot of time people want to use a pill to solve behavior problems that could have been handled other ways. That's not to say that I don't think medication is a valid option, it's just that I think some parents are looking for a quick fix and some doctors are all too happy to oblige.I try to tell myself that I am not one of those quick fix parents. I know that we have explored other options with Joseph and that none of them have worked. I know that I have put a ton of thought and research and questioning into deciding to medicate him. I still struggle all the time, asking myself if he's on the right medication, the right dosage, if he shou... More About: Question , Medication
The big winner!
2007-09-06 15:52:00 I have choosen the winner of my M&M giveaway. I wish I had enough chocolate to give to everyone who entered because it warmed my shrivled little heart to see so many people talking about being proud of their loved ones. But I had to chose just one and this is how I did it:1. Wrote down each persons name on the back of a mini post it note and folded the note up.2. Put all the slips into a bowl.3. Mixed up the slips.4. Had Elle draw one out.5. Opened the slip and found out who the winner was.6. Realized that I had an entry stuck to my left boob.7. Wondered if said entry got stuck there before or after the drawing.8. Considered throwing entry in the bowl and starting over.9. Realized that the entry stuck to my boob was AJ and that the honor of spending that long stuck to my rack should be enough of a reward for him. Also, he lives in Canada, even it he's not happy about it, what can he do? Throw whale blubber at me? (Canadians are Eskimos right?)After all that, I am pleased to an... More About: Winner
For the record
2007-09-06 15:18:00 Is there anything as lame as leaving a rude comment on someone's blog? Yes! It's doing it while hiding behind the little "Anonymous" label. Yes,use that and you're not only an asshole, your a chicken shit asshole. Let's examine the little nugget that someone left in response to my "Shattered" post shall we?"Behaving this way in front of a five year old? I hope you weren't as desperate as you portrayed. For the record, I've sent four children to kindergarten."1. He's seven, not five.2. He was going to 1st grade, not kindergarten.3. This is a blog. I use it to express how I'm feeling. Sometimes that includes using creative license and writing about what I felt like doing instead of what I did.4. Yes, I was feeling that desperate as I sent my autistic child off to school and writing about it was the way I chose to express it.5. If you don't like the way I write my blog or parent my child you're certainly welcomed to not spend over an hour reading about my life. You're also w... More About: Record , Cord , The Record
All the better to stalk you with my dear
2007-09-05 16:47:00 Do you Twitter? If you do, let me know so that I can add you to my list of those I'm following. You can also feel free to follow me so that I'll have more than three followers. And I'm pretty sure they're just pity followers since I started following them first and they probably just wanted to be kind. So look me up (problemgirl) and help me to help you stalk me more efficiently. Follow starts to sound really weird if you say it too many times.
Shattered
2007-09-05 14:30:00 My heart is in 1 million pieces right now. I was clutching onto Joseph telling him that I didn't want him to leave this morning and was so grown up about it all. "Mommy" he said "It's ok! I'll be back this afternoon. You'll still get to see me later today! I'll come home and then we'll do something together*. Now I'm going to go and make some new friends! Mommy! Stop grabbing me and let me put my backpack on! Mommy!"He was so calm and cool and I was a wreck. Elle and I stood on the porch waving as he and Jesse drove away. Joseph had a big smile on his face and I yelled every last minute instruction I could think of. "Be a good listener! Try at least one bite of everything on your tray at lunch time! Don't pick at your fingernails! Leave your bandaid on your owie! Remember to ask the teacher if you have to go potty! Remember to sign up for white milk for snack time! Unless you want chocolate!" On and on and on until the car was out of sight and I was just standing there yelli...
School days
More articles from this author:2007-09-04 15:48:00 Joseph has his first day of school tomorrow. Real school. Big boy school. First grade.How is this even possible? I know it's cliche but it really seems like just yesterday that he was a baby. I can still so clearly picture the first time I met him. He was so fuzzy and funny looking. When we were left alone I stared at him and he stared at me with his serious brown eyes. He was so scrawny that I was almost afraid to pick him up. I looked at him and I promised myself that I would do my very, very best to take care of this tiny little baby. As soon as I worked up the nerve to pick him up.And now? He's not a baby anymore.I don't know why first grade feels so different for me than kindergarten did. It's the same building he was in last year. He'll eat in the same lunchroom, play on the same playground, check books out of the same library. But somehow, this all seems so real. Almost like last year he was just playing school but this year there's no more practice. Jose... More About: School , Joseph , Days , School Days 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 |
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