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Semantics of cancer
2007-12-05 20:31:00
Whymommy linked to this post by Punk Rock Mommy yesterday. It isn't someone I have read before, but as far as reading a first post goes, this one will be sticking with me for quite some time.Momma and I have talked about her chemo some. It doesn't dominate our conversations. It doesn't dominate her life.There will be a time that she has to decide though, if the quality of life the chemo leaves her with is worth fighting for. She has assured me that now is not that time. I believe her.The truth of the matter though is that Momma has cancer. She has cancer that will eventually lead to her death. We know this. What we don't know is how soon that will be. Of course we hope and pray it will be very far off. And maybe it will. We certainly have great hope and faith in that.And so today, I found so much comfort in these words from Andrea, Punk Rock Mommy:I am not ?dying?. I am living with a terminal illness that eventually I will die from.Andrea, Susan, my momma, are all people living ...
More About: Friends , Cancer

Puppy Chow is even better than puppy love
2007-12-05 02:12:00
My apologies for the ranting yesterday. I'm better. I sent a polite email explaining my position and canceled my other gigs at that facility. The email ended complementing their facility and the parties they hosted, and I told them that I hoped they would begin to treat the musicians with the same respect they treat their other vendors. So there.************Whymommy and I were talking about old boyfriends this weekend. Not reminiscing, just remembering. I had a great high school boyfriend really. He was a total cutie, had great taste in music, was laid back, respectful, and just plain fun. He was a terrific guy.Unfortunately, he went to college a year before me, rushed some fraternity, broke up with me over the phone, and then got involved in RUF. The getting involved in RUF was the worst of it. Dang right winged conservative jerks. He and another guy from our youth group wrote a letter to the Session of our church telling them how wrong it was that we had a woman preach and women ...
More About: Holidays , Friends , Love , Puppy , Chow

Aren't I lucky to do what I love?
2007-12-03 21:11:00
Girl posted this video a few weeks ago. It riled me up, because it is so true. Today, I'm finally adding my two cents.I used to think that it was musicians who were just taken advantage of as a profession. I know better now. There are so many people out there who want to get it for free. While I've discovered that it isn't an issue unique to musicians, I do think though, that it is a more prominent issue in arts based professions.I'm here to tell you though, that just because my profession had to start of with some raw talent, doesn't mean that I didn't work my ass off to become good enough to earn my keep this way.Music is one of those majors that you can't just walk into your freshman year of college. There has had to be years of training prior to making that decision. Training that you didn't get in school. Private training that cost your parents extra money, and that you had to make a conscious effort to continue every year. Training that requires expensive equipment and...
More About: Love , Lucky

A very good day
2007-12-02 04:18:00
Guy and I are blogging on the end of our date tonight. Sweet, but strange. Dueling laptops, sitting side by side on our skyscraper bed. We both hate it when we look over each other's shoulders, and neither one of us can keep from doing it. (Hi, you. Look away now.)We had another childbirth class today. I am really enjoying them, and Guy is being a trooper. It is helpful though, because even though he has been through this before, it's nowhere near the same. I feel like this is helping to center us, and not just have it be him with experience. Although, I am really glad that he has experience. Especially on the bringing home the baby who will be completely and totally dependent on us for everything in order to survive.No pressure there.After the class, we were both starving, so we went to eat at a Greek restaurant. On the way home, I asked if we could go by a high school bazaar. A "shopping spree" weekend. He asked why and what was there, and I said that I didn't know. I had just ...
More About: Gratitude , Good

Haiku what was I saying again?
2007-12-01 05:48:00
Writing a birth planGuy's easily distractedWe need to finish.Little Bird likes toKick along with the typingGiving his input.We are bad studentsNot doing our birth homeworkUntil the last night.Got the names of twoGuy's easily distractedDoulas to check on.When the day gets hereI know that he will be soVery focused then.Because that's just the way he is. Saving his energy for the real deal.Sigh.Less whiny haiku can be found here. And yes, I notice that it is 11:55 PM. No, I cannot possibly do this any later next week.
More About: Haiku

It's been a long time since my last confession
2007-11-30 15:56:00
I have a been a bad blogger. I have not been reading and commenting like I normally would. My apologies are probably empty, but I'm offering them anyway. I try to keep up. It's just so busy. I'm sure you all understand, and you are shaking your heads because here you are reading my little words . . . I'll catch up, I swear.Speaking of behind, there are lots of links to go up on the Team Whymommy page. I have been slack. Susan has done such a good job of keeping them linked up on her blog, and once again, I am the slack friend. Let's just say that I have chosen to offer her some consistency in her life. I'm still here, and I'm still flaky.And as if I haven't laid enough of my current flaws out on the table, here's something else stupid I did.I was getting into our incredibly tall bed last night (with the humph and splat method I learned from Paige), and I actually injured myself on a pillow. Yes. I cut my elbow wide open on my pillow. Blood, bandaids, and everything.Apparent...
More About: Time , Confession , Long , Fess

Baby Bongo
2007-11-29 16:15:00
There's a new review of the Baby Plus prenatal education system over at Props and Pans. I've been wearing this little baby bongo for a few weeks now, and I'm planning on continuing through the rest of the pregnancy.Yes, I feel a little silly with it on. Considering the president of the company admitted to me that she felt a little silly too when she first started wearing it, I guess that's alright.So if you call me and hear something that sounds like a Linn drum from the early 80's going on in the background, just know that Little Bird is having a little prenatal schooling.A contest will be added a little later in the day to win your own BabyPlus (a $150 value). Just head over to Props and Pans and check it out.
More About: Bongo

Trees please
2007-11-28 02:10:00
Getting the trees is one of my favorite holiday tradition. After a run to Starbucks for hot chocolate, we headed to our favorite spot to buy a Christmas tree.We aren't looking for big trees. We aren't looking for perfect trees. We were looking for our trees.Here is Lovely, pointing out a spot where this tree needs some love. Both of our trees needed some serious love and had a definite side that is now hidden by the wall. We like them that way. Little Charlie Brown trees.The Commander is good for more than hauling keyboards and music gear. I was delighted to discover that you could haul not one, but two Christmas trees home on top of it.Guy frees one of the trees from the roof rack.And here is the tree in the living room. The blue and silver tree. The side in the corner is facing that way for a reason. It's missing several branches back there. But you would never know. It's a beautiful tree, and I love it.We'll have to take a picture of the tree in the dining room as well. It'...
More About: Holidays , Family , Trees

Traditions adjusted
2007-11-26 04:41:00
Thanksgiving weekend was wonderful. We had two dinners; one with Papa, Boo, and Pilot, and one with Lovely . Duplicated right down to the sparkling punch, appetizers, and the table setting. It's important to us that she knows she is missed when she isn't here. It's also important to us that she never feel guilty for having a good time spending holidays with her mother's family too. Having a replay of Thanksgiving day is just a small way of letting her know.One reason I love Thanksgiving so much is because after Thanksgiving, I can officially start celebrating Christmas. We decorated our trees today. One in the living room and one in the dining room. The living room one is the silver and blue tree. The tree I get anal about and move around decorations to be just right. The tree where even the presents have to match.The dining room tree has multi-colored lights and all of the random ornaments. There are ornaments from my childhood, and ones from Guy's childhood. Some of his mother...
More About: Family , Traditions

Little Bird is kicking and I'm counting
2007-11-24 18:31:00
I seriously think that bruises are going to appear around my ribs soon. Little Bird has decided that it is way fun to kick his momma as hard as he can right up under her ribs. It's beginning to smart.Deep down, I like the kicking though. I like knowing that he is still comfortably nestled in my growing womb. I like having his movements remind me that he is doing alright.I've been doing my kick counts. Thanks to Props and Pans and a little technology, I've been doing them with a kickTrak. It's a really cool little device that times how long it takes to reach 10 fetal movements and then stores up to 10 sessions so that you can look back and compare. It's nifty.You can win one for yourself if you like. You have to pop on over to Props and Pans and leave a comment after the kickTrak post.Meanwhile, I'm going to try some cats and cows to see if I can get this kid to reposition to the left ribs for awhile. Ow.
More About: Counting , Kicking

Haiku Friday, by 35 minutes to go
2007-11-24 05:25:00
Gratuitous shotOf turkey stock on the stoveWill freeze twenty cups.My boys in new chairsReady to eat all they canAnd sleep through football.More haiku, and a sloppy fun Thanksgiving here.
More About: Haiku , Friday , Minutes , Utes

The pie
2007-11-21 18:38:00
I hope this is worth the wait. I forgot that the pie wouldn't actually be finished until Thanksgiving day, so I couldn't finish this post on Wednesday. Photos are included after the recipe. Enjoy!Black Bottom Banana Cream Pie 1 9 inch pie crust3 tablespoons cornstarch, divided2 tablespoons sugar2 tablespoons unsweetened cocoaDash of salt1 1/3 cups 1% low-fat milk, divided1 ounce semisweet chocolate, chopped1/2 cup sugar1/4 teaspoon salt2 large eggs1 tablespoon stick margarine or butter2 teaspoons vanilla extract2 ounces block-style fat-free cream cheese, softened2 cups sliced ripe banana (about 2 large bananas)1 1/2 cups frozen fat-free whipped topping, thawedChocolate curls (optional, and I prefer it without for taste, but they are very pretty) Prepare and bake Pastry Crust in a 9-inch pie plate unless you are my mother, in which case, you have made your pie crust from scratch. Either way, it should be baked and then cool completely on...

Have one for me, will ya?
2007-11-21 16:27:00
Today is another prep day. There is more cooking and cleaning to be done, and recipes to share.The first recipe I want to share is for Cajun Bloody Marys. Of course, I won't be making these this year, but usually, we make a big pitcher and sip on them throughout the week. Yum. Warms my heart thinking about it. They will also warm your throat. This recipe comes from the kitchen of Emeril. I took the liberty of augmenting it though because a 2 1/2 cup yield is just sad.Cajun Bloody Mary6 cups tomato juice 3 cups vodka 6 tablespoons fresh lemon juice 6 tablespoons fresh lime juice 4 tablespoon prepared horseradish 6 teaspoons Worcestershire sauce 8 teaspoons hot sauce 4 teaspoons Emeril's Original Essence 2 teaspoon salt 2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper 2 teaspoon cayenne Pickled green beans or okra, for garnish Cocktail onions, for garnish Combine all ingredients (excep...

THANKSgivin' prep day
2007-11-20 20:38:00
The cornbread is made. It is sitting out with the white bread, getting good and stale to go into the dressing.The onions and celery are chopped.The biscuits are made and cooked just until risen. Thursday, they will be ready to just pop in the over for a few more minutes.A preview pumpkin pie is in the fridge for Guy. It's his favorite, so why not start a little early? Besides, Boo is bringing her pumpkin pie on Thursday, and trust me, you don't want to serve your pumpkin pie after Boo has served hers. It's killer.I'm picking up the turkeys from The Fresh Market this afternoon. Yes, I said turkeys. I got two smaller ones this year so that one could sit on the table during the start of the meal and look pretty. The other one will be carved in the kitchen and served. I'm busy stocking the freezer for when Bird arrives, so I figured I could use any extra in casseroles anyway.There is at least one more trip to the store to make for milk, eggs, and even more butter, but other than th...
More About: Family , Friends , Gratitude , Hank , Prep

More Wisdom of Double D
2007-11-20 18:53:00
Double D, my youngest nephew, has an idea. He has lots of ideas, but maybe this one is marketable.Upon listening in on a conversation between his parents about the high cost of milk, he offered this suggestion,"You could always try donkey's milk. That would be cheaper."Why? Because he has noticed there are more donkeys than cows.Where he noticed this is beyond me. They don't live in the country. They don't go to farms.But for some reason, Double D has decided that donkeys' milk would definitely help the economic situation in this case.
More About: Double , Wisdom

So incredibly boring to everyone but me
2007-11-20 03:41:00
I lamented passing on my little house to a new owner. My house. My first house that I loved so very much even though it looked much like a booger someone else would just wipe on their jeans.Once it was sold, it was a relief to not have 2 mortgages, to say the least. Knowing that we sold it to a developer that would soon want to tear it down and build a McMansion wasn't a relief, but it was reality. Bringing us back to the booger reference.Today, the reassessed property taxes were announced. Guy and I just looked up the new taxes for our house and what used to be my house. Once again, I was so proud of my little booger house. And so glad that I don't have to pay the new taxes.The land alone is now valued at just less than what I paid for the house. The taxes will be doubling. We will not be paying them. Yay. We sold at just the right time too, because city council is poised to put the kabash on McMansions going up after teardowns. Leaving the new owner of my little booger in a prec...
More About: Boring

Grown ups moved in
2007-11-18 17:51:00
Our bedroom now has furniture. We looked for over a year for something that we both liked that didn't cost 80 million dollars, and of course we ended up back at one of the first places we looked.It isn't fancy, but it is handmade. It wasn't expensive, but it does look nice. Very simple and plain. Very functional. We love it. I won't be sad to see my Rubbermaid dressers go.And, it is one more thing in my house that looks like what my mother has. It's getting a little creepy really. Every time I have a hand in picking out something, it ends up looking a lot like my mother's things. Thank goodness she has good taste.The only thing I don't like about it is that the bed is incredibly tall. As I type this, perched like some sort of princess perched up high, Pupstar is whining by the side of the bed. She cannot in any way, shape, or form, begin to jump on this bed.I'm thinking we might have to invest in some doggie steps. As seen on TV.
More About: My Life , Grown , Momma , Renovations

Haiku Friday, counting it down
2007-11-17 05:03:00
30 weeks todayLights a fire under our buttsGetting floors done now.Bamboo all downstairsExcept for tile in foyerI want baseboards back.Family from beforeHad peeing Border CollieNasty carpet pads.Crib still in the boxGuitars in every cornerBird will need a room.10 more weeks to goWaiting 'til the last minuteMaybe not so smart.More haiku, less stress here.
More About: Haiku , Friday , Counting , Renovations

Welcome to the World
2007-11-15 13:29:00
Amy and Chris are welcoming their little Turkey into the world this morning. I'm so happy for them I could just pop.Me, my Sil, and Amy all lost babies around the same time last year. Then Sil gave birth to El on November 2, and now Amy has had Carter Dale this morning. Now, I guess we just wait for Bird. He might be a little behind, but that's okay.So congratulations, Amy. I'm happy to have had the honor of following you through your journey to becoming a mom.
More About: Friends , World , Gratitude , The World

Rationalization
2007-11-14 20:05:00
We don't typically keep candy in the house. Or store bought cookies. Or little powdered donuts. If it is in the house, then it gets eaten. If not by one of us, then by the setter-goat, who helped Lovely polish off some of her Halloween candy. A gummy crabby patty to be exact. Weirdo.None of us need the snacking though. It's not healthy and promotes bad habits. Weight gain, eating for comfort, eating for boredom, you name it. Prepackaged snacks are a big no-no around here.However, when I was tooling around in Target today, I spied a lone bag of orange and black MnM's. Everything else Halloween was gone. Cleared out. But someone had missed this one bag.I knew it had to be cheap.38 cents, people. That bag of MnM's was 38 cents.And it was so lonely with all of the Christmas stuff. It just had to come home with me.
More About: Random Thoughts

Wisdom of Double D
2007-11-13 14:38:00
If you need a reason to get a flu shot, my youngest nephew, Double D, has one for you."Shots make you have muscles."Amen, brother. He was helping talk his older brother and sister into getting their flu shots without being scared. He wasn't scared, because he's tough, he said.Double D has a lot of wisdom to share. Enough for my Sil to start her own blog. Just for stories about him.For now though, just remember that shots will give you muscles. Later, we might can talk about his love of Walker Texas Ranger.
More About: Family , Random Thoughts , Wisdom

Stitch in time
2007-11-12 13:42:00
My friends here where I live are an odd hodgepodge of various types of people and ages too. One of my favorite people is a woman in her 70's who lives in a little town just north of here. Her home is in the historic district just a block off of a traditional small town downtown. Her little Sheltie guards the front yard with her fierce yips.This past Friday, we spent the day together at her home. She was teaching me how to sew. It was incredible loads of fun spending time with her, learning from her, and eating her cream cheese and olive sandwiches.When Momma was here, she went with me to buy a sewing machine and then helped me learn to thread it. She made a list of essentials and braved Joann's with me to stock my sewing box. We ran out of time though, before we got to have a full blown sewing lesson.My grandmother Honey was a seamstress. An artist really. The clothes she made were perfect. My mother's wardrobe was the envy of her college friends, and all of it was made by Honey....
More About: Friends , Time , My Life , Stitch

Haiku Friday and I hate cancer, but who doesn't?
2007-11-10 01:36:00
Not in the mood forWriting good haiku tonightChemo next Friday .Find more and better haiku here.*********We are not foolish enough to think that Momma wouldn't have to go back on chemo at some point. Her cancer is a chronic condition. We know that.So when she called today, and I could hear the news in the tone of her voice before her words were spoken, I didn't crumble. It didn't feel like a crisis. I didn't immediately run through all of the things I needed to cancel in order to catch a plane.Now that they have moved, thank God, they are near my brother. Bro and Sil are great with them, and the grandchildren bring joy into their lives. There will be help. There will not be Daddy taking Momma a piece of bread folded in half and calling it a sandwich. Bless his heart. This is so huge. I'm so grateful that they are near family now.I think she will be okay. I think they will zap it back again this time. I think that she will live long enough to know Little Bird and for Little Bird ...
More About: Cancer , Hate , Haiku

How to torture me
2007-11-08 17:30:00
Take away my Diet Coke and internet service. Welcome to today.The Diet Coke is a personal matter I suppose. Who am I kidding? Bird has decided there isn't enough room for him and any amount of gas in my abdomen. Major ow. So I'm cutting out the carbonation and adjusting a few things in my diet so that maybe I won't be doubled over in pain today.The internet though? Is a mystery. Just stopped working. Guy hasn't had a chance to work on it yet, so I just have to wait it out. Thank goodness for free internet at Panera Bread.What's been going on then? Most importantly, Andria had her baby. A little boy. Makes me want to jump on a plane right this very second. I am thinking a trip to her neck of the woods is definitely in order for next summer. It's somewhere Guy and I have talked about going for awhile now, and I just found out another friend of mine has moved there. Tempting. Very very tempting.I spent a lovely day with my friend T yesterday. Her little boy is really turning into...
More About: Random Thoughts , Torture

The last one
2007-11-08 17:25:00
My newest niece joined our family this past weekend. I was waiting on a picture, and now that I have one, I forgot to ask if I could post it. So you will have to take my word that she is beautiful. She really is.That makes five. Five wonderful kiddos. I'm a lucky aunt. I know that five is a lot of kids, and that it makes sense for them to be "done" now, but in a way, I'm a little sad. The oldest is 11. That is a long time to have baby excitement coming over and over. Plus, my sister-in-law is the best pregnant woman. She is one that really does glow. She's just good at it. And she's an awesome mom too. So, there is a little sadness at the end of this part of their lives.But there is even more happiness at this little one who has completed their family. I can't wait to meet her in person.Happy Birthday, little one. Welcome to the world!
More About: Family , Gratitude , The Last

Poor limpy Guy
2007-11-06 03:53:00
Poor Guy. He is sitting next to me with an icepack on his ankle. Before that, it was heat. And before that, ice.Before that, it was tumbling down the stairs on his way to his car. Poor thing. I hate seeing him hurt. He is a good patient, but it makes me so sad.He is all cripple and limpy now. His poor ankle looks like a softball.Actually, God pushed him down the stairs to punish him for being incredibly antagonistic today.Kidding.Now back to the nursing. Time to switch back to heat.
More About: Poor

Floored
2007-11-03 21:34:00
I am hoping that what I was not able to express with my face and mouth today will come through with my fingers.There is a group of women who are my friends. From California to Colorado to Chicago. From Texas to South Carolina to West Virginia to D.C and more. We share a common ground. We share support, stories, and pictures. Who am I kidding? We share just about everything.I spend a little time with them almost everyday. The days I don't get to check in on them, I find that I think about them and wonder how they are. What their little ones are doing. How their house or job hunting is going. If that cold has moved on. If that baby has come yet.There is a certain part of a friendship that you miss out on when you are long distance. I don't think though, that it means it is any less of a friendship. I don't usually distinguish in conversation between my "in real life" friends and my "long distance" friends anymore. Friends hip is based in communication, and that is what this group of...
More About: Gratitude

Haiku Friday for the girl
2007-11-02 18:26:00
Lovely and her dogDressed up for trick-or-treatingHoney's kimono.Grandmother's old frock,Crazy dog in a tutu,Not man's. Girl 's best friend.Award day at schoolSocial studies shining starOn honor roll too.Happy Haiku Friday . More here.
More About: Lovely , Pups

Remembrance
2007-11-01 18:53:00
Today, my friend Amy reminded me that we were all finding out we were pregnant this time last year. She and I dropped out of the July babies group, but are both expecting again. Her little Turkey is almost done baking, and should be here by Thanksgiving. We are both having boys, and have excellent taste in names, in my opinion (just a little teaser for her).Yesterday, as I sat in the waiting room during one stage of the glucose test, for some reason, my mind wandered back to the day I had to have my follow up appointment after the miscarriage.And as I sat there, hyped up on sugar, holding a bag of free formula, and grooving to the latest riverdance in my belly, I cried.I realized though, that it isn't the desperate, heart breaking, I-will-never-get-over-this, kind of pain any longer.It is just the pain of missing someone I loved that is gone. Tears over remembering how completely devastated I was to be empty. To have lost that little life. Tears of remembrance.These next couple of ...
More About: Friends , Remembrance , Grief

Things I learned today at the doctor
2007-11-01 03:19:00
If you have gained 24 pounds and then gain 13 more pounds, you will have gained 37 pounds.If you eat sushi for dinner, you will have sugar in your urine the next morning.If you eat sushi for dinner the night before your appointment, your genius nurse practitioner will assume you eat piles of rice all the time.If you just say "Okay, I will," a lot, the genius nurse practitioner will let you go home a lot sooner. If you zone out during the long boring DVD about the third trimester they play you while you wait for your blood draw, you will miss the doctor saying that there are many kinds of "IV birth control" from which to choose in the hospital.I'm pretty sure she meant "IV pain control" since the whole birth control thing would be a moot point by then.
More About: Today , Things , Doctor , Learned