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Home Again
2007-06-02 01:47:00
It seems like every time I come back from a trip, the weather in SF is foggy and COLD, which makes it a million times harder to readjust. Last time I had to buy a space heater of questionable quality--this time it was Uggs (confession: fake Uggs, also of questionable quality).Luckily, my friend Marisa convinced me yet again to head up to Yosemite over Memorial Day weekend for the Strawberry Music Festival . For 4 days, we laid around in the sun wearing tank tops and skirts listening to bluegrass while hippie parents pulled their hemp-clad children around in wooden wagons. What could be better? Well, I guess something could have made it better, like if Eddie Izzard and Sarah Silverman had been there and wanted to pal around with us....and we were rich...and while we were gone congress passed a law making it illegal to put raisins in all baked goods.
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A Text Message to God
2007-05-25 21:00:00
With our backpacks stuffed full of dirty laundry, bazaar purchases and as much baklava as possible, we sat in the terminal reflecting on our time in Turkey. I knew everyone at home would ask me what it was actually like?more Western or still quite Eastern, a question that had been on my mind since I first arrived in Istanbul yet every time I decided on one answer, I?d see something that would sway me the opposite way.Yes, a lot of women covered their heads with a scarf but many of them coordinated their scarves with cute, stylie outfits. And while cities and towns blasted the call to prayer five times a day, not everyone actually prayed during those times. Some people were too busy watching Eurovision and hanging out with baklava obsessed girls and boys.Many people had professional jobs, new technology was everywhere and modern conveniences weren?t hard to find?yet conservative values certainly permeated the culture. Secular yet Islamic, European but not yet a part of the EU, up to ...
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Shake It Up, Shake It In
2007-05-25 09:13:00
On our final day in Istanbul, Mickers and I hit the Grand Bazaar which was teaming with tourists and Turks alike. Just as the guide book promised, it was HUGE and VERY busy. And you could buy just about anything there. Leather, lanterns, baklava, spices, carpets (see above photo), jewelery, more baklava, hand bags, books, kebabs, you name it?it was there. After a long day of shopping and eating, Mickers and I had our last baklava snack, cleaned up after our day in the trenches and headed out for our final night on the town. Upon the recommendation a NYT article that my aunt had sent me, we decided to check out a restaurant called 360. Known for its 360 degree views of the city, it would be the perfect spot for us to view all the neighborhoods that we had explored. The place turned out to be quite the scene with a beautiful, young performer walking around in a head-turning dress and white fur coat, singing a saucy jazz number. The host, who appeared to be a hot dj on the Istanbul par...

Moms at Hamams
2007-05-25 08:58:00
Soon enough, I was back in Istanbul where I met up with Mickey. He was thrilled to have been reunited with his luggage and had been palling around with two girls he met on a Bosporus River cruise, one English and one Aussie. While we were separated, he had developed a new theory: that the call to prayer that blares five times a day, every day from microphones stationed in the mosque towers across Turkey (called minorettes) is really just a voice recording that?s played over and over again. ?You know, like the operator recording that you hear when you dial 411,? he explained. ?I bet the mosques just play the same audio prayers so people will think that someone?s up there in the tower belting out a new one each time.?Since a trip to Turkey would not be complete without a visit to a Turkish bath (called a hamam), I read up on the local favorites and selected one of the fancier ones. If I was going to do this, I was going big. The package I selected included a massage, shampoo and total...
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Taking Trapped to New Heights
2007-05-25 07:58:00
The next morning, Mickey took off to explore Istanbul, leaving me on my own in Fethiye. After learning that I had missed the last boat to Butterfly Valley, I must have looked deflated which attracted the sympathy of a paragliding guide (above) who was standing within earshot. One hour later, I was running off a cliff, strapped to the professional paraglider as we launched into air and sailed above none other than Butterfly Valley!My only complaint, other than not being able to see any butterflies from that distance, was that this "friendly" guide propositioned a romantic interlude for later that evening while we were still in the air, strapped to one another. This approach gave ?trapped? a whole new meaning, especially considering my life was literally in this guy?s hands. Luckily, he accepted my polite decline and sailed us safely to the beach where passers by waved to us from below and snapped our photo as we landed.
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Posh in Kas
2007-05-24 08:40:00
Next we visited the Kas (pronounced ?kosh?), a picturesque coastal town with a beautiful harbor and fresh seafood. We celebrated by staying in our first real hotel with a balcony overlooking the water. Rising to the occasion, I washed Mickey?s entire wardrobe in our sink, which at this point consisted of a T-shirt, a new linen tunic (pictured above) and one pair of pants (so much for the orange cashmere).Dressed in clean clothes (hooray!) and feeling quite pleased with ourselves, we strolled into town and sat down to a beautiful dinner on the rooftop of a family owned restaurant. Drinking local wine as the moon sparkled over at the harbor, we thought it couldn?t get any better until our server surprised us with a plate of olives picked from his grandmother?s tree earlier that day. (Yes, I absolutely hate olives but pretend I don?t for the sake of the charming scenario.) So then we surprised him by out-drinking him and his friends later that night at the restaurant bar. The following...
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Eternal Flame
2007-05-24 08:30:00
For the next couple of days, Mickey and I cruised up the coast in our ?Ah-viz? rental car (we discovered that if you pronounced it "Avis" no one understood what you meant). Heading the warning of the Ah-viz rep, we waited ?at least 5 seconds? at every green light before hitting the gas. He informed us Turkish drivers operate with a liberal interpretation of when a red light officially means stop, so it?s best to wait a little while before entering each intersection. No bother?more time for us to work out meters to miles conversations, which turned out to be way harder than expected.The first stop on our coastal drive was Olympus, the site of 7th Century Lycian ruins now known as paradise for travelers who are drawn to its spectacular setting, party vibe and tree house accomodations. It was here that I hiked up a cliff in my high heeled sandals to check out a well preserved acropolis with a gorgeous view (see photo to left). Why hadn?t I opted for the dirty red sneakers that day? ?Wh...
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Zeros
2007-05-24 08:00:00
After parting ways with Rob who was headed further East, Mickers and I boarded the bus, stashing the oranges at our feet. Ten hours later, we arrived in Antalya, sweating, exhausted and hungry for anything but oranges. In a bleary eyed stupor, we stumbled upon a fancy hotel that just happened to serve a sophisticated breakfast buffet on a beautiful terrace with a sea view. Mickey offered to pay, desperate for a nice place to hang out until the rental car place opened right next door. I agreed to stay.Half way into our meal of fresh honeycomb, a selection of local cheeses and delicious curried eggs, I realized that we?d implanted ourselves into a Turkish version of The Four Seasons. Surrounding us were women clad in fabulous Miami-wear, looking like they had been personally outfitted by "Uli" from Project Runway. And there I was, my hairstyle courtesy of the bus headrest, my red sneakers caked in dirt from Cappadocia and my fingernails died an unmistakable shade of orange. Meanwhile,...
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Bizarre
2007-05-24 07:58:00
Our final encounter in Cappadocia was our outing to an outdoor bizaar in Nevsehir, a small, socially conservative city. Mickey was hoping to find a replacement towel, Rob wanted to shoot some pics and I was hoping to find some fabric to bring back home. Immediately upon arriving, it was clear that this was NOT a common stop of the tourist circuit?hardly anyone spoke English and all eyes seemed to follow us as we walked around, despite my best attempt to fit in (an endless source of amusement--see above).The market was tremendously colorful and completely hectic. Hundreds of vendors were selling everything from pocket knives to cloves of garlic still attached to the root. They yelled out to potential customers as children chased one another through the crowded walkways and shoppers chatting with one another as they walked arm and arm through the seemingly endless vegetable section. Despite all the action, we couldn?t seem to blend in. Visual: Britney, Justin and K-Fed hunted by the T...
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Cappa-dope-ia
2007-05-24 07:57:00
On Day 4 in Istanbul, Mickey showed up to our hostel carrying nothing but a small shoulder bag. He explained that his luggage hadn?t made the connection at Frankfurt and that the airline would deliver it to him sometime tomorrow. In turn, I explained that I had booked us all on a flight the next morning to the middle of the country and that we?d have to leave the hostel at 5 AM. ?Ok then. Looks like I?ll need to get myself a Turkish toothbrush?and some beers.? Love that boy?The next several days were spent in Cappadocia, checking out a collection of intriguing rock formations. According to Rob, ?that shit is dope? and I?d have to agree. The way the layers of sediment settled and eroded resulted in towering rock formations known as The Fairy Chimneys. However, they may soon be known by another name once our pictures get around the Castro crew of San Francisco.We also checked out incredible mountainside cave dwellings and underground cities carved out of rock. Appa rently, the people o...
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Tea, Sugar and a Dream
2007-05-24 07:55:00
Deep in thought, I lost Rob in a sea of enthusiastic Turkish middle schoolers who were on a field trip to the Palace that day (unfortunately, I?m not much taller than them which made me hard to find in the crowd). Headed sola to another mosque, I wound up walking around with this Turkish guy who looked to be about my age. It turned out that he was a school teacher, who specialized in historical architecture, and he agreed to show me around.Following his surprisingly kickass tour, we hung out at a café where I had a coffee and he ordered Turkish apple tea. (For those of you in SF, I brought some home. You MUST try it!!)Sipping my grainy drink, I apologized for having forgotten how to say thank you in Turkish. ?Oh that?s easy,? he explained. ?It?s tesekkür ederim, which sounds like ?tea, sugar and a dream? to you English speakers. And if I were up on my fortune telling techniques, I?d look at the leftover grounds of your coffee and tell you which of your dreams will come true.? I thou...
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Real World Constantinople
2007-05-24 07:54:00
In case you?re wondering, The Blue Mosque (left) and the Hagia Sofia are just as breathtaking in person as they are in photos. And they?re particularly stunning at night when they?re lit up, attracting mosquitoes that attract birds that circle above (Mickey?s theory re: the birds).I continue to have difficulty accepting that buildings like this were conceived and erected before AutoCad and jackhammers were part of the construction process. No wonder all the statues of Greeks and Turks feature such nicely defined muscles?that marble must have weighed a ton (or whatever measuring system they used back then). Note to self: find some marble to lift.The building that got me to think the most, however, was Topkapi Palace. Home of multiple Turkish sultans and supporting ?staff,? this place struck me as the 17th Century?s equivalent of The Playboy Mansion with a twist of dysfunctional orphanage?kind of like if Hugh Heffner rather than Daddy Warbucks had adopted Orphan Annie?but in Turkey an...
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Exercise
2007-05-23 08:51:00
Rob and I spent the next three days strolling through the windy streets of Istanbul from mosque to café?to mosque?to palace?to mosque. We saw snappy Turks and happy Turks, girly Turks and whirly Turks. We walked for hours and hours, so much that it's possible I got enough exercise to cancel out the baklava spree I had launched.I was slightly relieved to learn that even if it had been warm enough to wear sandals, I wouldn?t have been able to manage them due to the uneven cobblestones that line the city?s streets. Clearly the ancient Turks didn?t have this season?s wedge espadrilles in mind when selecting their charming pavers. While enjoying my apple hookah, I told myself that practicing form over fashion would be a good exercise.
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C u in Turkey
2007-05-23 08:50:00
Twelve hours later I landed in Istanbul where I was to find Rob at our designated airport meeting location. Having grown accustomed to the use of cell phones to finesse most meet ups, I was ashamed to find myself a little panicky about locating him, knowing he had left his phone at home. I realized how I now expected confirmation text messages every step of the way when meeting up with a friend. Successive messaging indicating ?Leaving now,? ?ignored xbf on train,? ?B there in 5? were in inextricable part of the process. Somehow, a text from Rob indicating ?Just landed!? seemed wholly necessary and way more effective than the simple act of checking the arrivals board for his flight number and noting when the space next to it blinked with the words ?flight has landed.?While trying to determine when exactly I had developed this technology-reliant anxiety, I thought about the way my friend and I met up back in ?97 before traveling through Europe for the summer. The master plan consiste...
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RE: Who Wants to Come to Turkey Next Week?
2007-05-23 08:48:00
The following post begins my chronicles of the trip to Turk ey . Not so blogposty, but more like a story, so sit down with a glass of wine and learn all about our adventures in the land of carpets and cumin. Maybe Pretend you're Fred Savage's character in The Princess Bride and that this is the story that your nice grandpa is reading to you. Once upon a time....?I?m in? read the body of Mickey?s email, followed by flight details from San Francisco to Istanbul--I was pleasantly shocked. Who decides to go on a trip, books a ticket and leaves the country all within a week? Well, Rob does, but he?s a self employed artist whose most recent Halloween costume was simply ?French,? consisting of a black sweater, tight black pants of a polyester blend, a flowing black scarf, a baguette in hand and Camus? The Stranger peaking out from his back pocket. For him, a last minute trip to Turkey is par for the course. Mickers, on the other hand, maintains a frenetic corporate job and a relentless soc...
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Turkish Delight
2007-05-01 17:29:00
The final bit of catch up information is that I've been in NJ for a little while, visiting my parents, the hometown crew and some friends in the city. My time here has included things like discussing potential names for hypothetical babies (why no one will back me up on Elliot is beyond me), eating fantastic bagels and buying overpriced new job clothes at the Short Hills Mall.The highlight of this trip home was visiting the theatre where A Chorus Line is now playing, which just happens to be my all time favorite Broadway musical. My friend Kyle (the one who thought my Aussie crocodile photo was taken in the wild) works as a dresser for the show and gave me a backstage tour of the theatre when no one was there. I got to put on one of the Singular Sensation hats and stand on the stage, looking out the sea of empty seats. I'm sort of regretting not performing a smashing rendition of "Tits and Ass" for Kyle, but something tells me he wouldn't have fully appreciated it.For the next 2 ...
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Notice
2007-04-30 06:51:00
Another reason for the delay in blog posts is that I gave two weeks notice at my current job and have been busy tying up loose ends before my last day, which will be May 1st. (More to come on plans for time off between current job and new job).One good thing about leaving my job is that I won't be working across the street from the ball park anymore, which means the music from the occasional Christian rock concert will no longer drift into my office, disturbing both my spirit and my focus. One bad thing about leaving my job is that I'll have to stop responding to the "So, where do you work?" question with the answer "Oh, this think tank near the ball park."I find it humorous that this response somehow suggests that I sit around philosophizing and strategizing about complex geopolitical issues all day. And as much as I love the idea of me hanging out in a high security building, solving never-before-solved equations on a white board with a purple dry erase marker while important vi...
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From Trapper Keepers to Taffeta
2007-04-21 04:31:00
Another thing that happened while I was gone is that I visited my little sister, Ali, in Atlanta.--------Side note: It's starting to feel sort of silly to call Ali my "little" sister, considering she's 3 inches taller than me (which makes her immense for our family) and way ahead on the maturity front. In fact, the reason for my visit was to check out the new condo she bought a few months ago. She even has her own car and, to top it off a pet cat who's consistently fed and cared for. Meanwhile, Ali's "big" sister's crowning achievement in the adult department is a 2005 purchase of a never-before-used sofa and chair for her San Francisco rental apartment upon which her friends pass out.--------An interesting realization that I had while in Atlanta was that accessories can be just a powerful as smells for me when it comes to the occurrence of overpowering flashbacks. Well, maybe not all accessories, but rugs specifically, and in this case, an Oriental rug. Upon walking into my si...
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Farm Fresh
2007-04-19 08:53:00
It's been a couple weeks since last I wrote. Much has happened in that time, which I'll convey in a few different posts. This post will be solely dedicated to Easter weekend when I accompanied my friend to his uncles' farm up in Santa Rosa. Why is the apostrophe AFTER the s in uncles, you wonder? Because my friend's uncle has a husband and they live together on the farm. Now this isn't just any farm--leave it to gay men to turn a farm into the most fabulous retreat ever. Seriously--this place is a cross between Charlotte's Web and The Great Gatsby. Think Lassie meets Jackie O!Yes, on this farm there are chickens who live in a coop and lay eggs and there's also a big red barn, and, yes, there's even a weathervane...and a wooden swing under a picturesque tree. But, the barn has been converted into a gambling room with all sorts of fun slot machines and a makeshift bar that you can frequent while playing ping pong with fancy ping pong gloves. There's also a big lawn in front o...
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Completing My Look
2007-04-03 07:09:00
When thieves steal wallets, the first and sometimes only thing they do is go to a gas station. The reason I know this is that my wallet was stolen on the 38 Geary on Wednesday, right out of my bag. I didn't realize it until I was off the bus and seated at a restaurant where my stylie friend Leah was giving me a makeup lesson over red veggie curry informally entitled "Completing Your Look ."By the time I called my credit card company, the perpetrator had run up all sorts of gas station charges. The oddly empathetic guy working the "report your card lost or stolen" line at B of A explained that gas stations are the number one destination for thieves to use hot cards, which seems so lackluster to me. The way I see it, if you're going to go so far as to steal someone's card, at least buy something really expensive or at least mildly impressive. Once a thief's tank is full, the most exciting thing he could get at a gas station is pretty much teriyaki beef jerky or maybe a couple bags ...

Old Friends
2007-03-27 05:37:00
They knew you during your 7th grade Sun-in and Silver City lipstick phase. You snuck out late at night to play Truth or Dare with them in the cul de sac even though you had to babysit early the next morning. You ransacked the liquor cabinets of one another's parents, made mix tapes for them to bring to college, made out with each other's freshman roommates and stayed up with them till sunrise at multiple weddings. They are your old friends.You lose touch for months on end, you're not sure you like their new friends from work...they know exactly what to say to infuriate you. They are your old friends.You know their parents' first names. They can tell when "I'm OK" isn't the truth. They remember your birthday. You know when they're in love. They are your old friends.
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Ya, you. You Lookin' at Somethin' Hippie Boy?
2007-03-19 03:29:00
In just 5 days my friends from my home town will be arriving here in San Francisco. They come out to visit me every year in one combination or another, but this is the largest group that's ever come at once...and, to be honest, I'm a little scared. You see, we're not the kind of friends who get together for dinner to catch up and compliment one another's new hair styles. Oh no--this crew is from Jersey which means we communicate our love for one another via sarcastic comments and personal insults. It always takes me an hour or two to slip back into my native tounge and I'm praying my Jersey vernacular is currently intact.For example, a friend from home recently commented to me, "That piece of metal is ruining your face" which translates here in California to "I care about you and want you to know that I prefer the way you look without your eyebrow piercing." Another example came in the form of a group email this week where one friend wrote to another, "Dude, quit your whining, ...
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Mile-stone
2007-03-13 04:06:00
I'm trying to control my road rage. I refuse to pay outlandish gas and insurance prices. I'm a responsible inhabitant of Mother Earth and want to do my part to combat global warming. Those are all pretty good reasons that I could offer up when asked why it is that I don't drive. The only problem is that none of them are true. The real reason I don't drive is that I am simply terrified. At least I was until this past weekend.Ever since I started learning how to drive in high school, the idea of manning a vehicle has given me a knot in my stomach. With an October birthday, I was one of the first people in my grade to take the license test. I alone would bear the responsibility of freeing my circle of friends from the suffocating confines of parental transportation. We were anxiously awaiting our new-found freedoms, and I was prepared to lead my people out of oppression to the promise land, otherwise known as The Jersey Shore. Never mind that winter was on it's way, we had parties...
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Post Neo Urban Chic--SF Livin'
2007-03-08 18:33:00
It's good to be back in SF. My friend Michael, a fellow pizza bagel (half Jewish, half Italian), creates cartoons that posses an endearing Woody Allen quality as comforting as a meat sauce marinara that's been simmering on your grandma's stovetop all day.
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Glitz, Glamour and Gridlock
2007-03-07 06:35:00
My friend Molly was on a business school "field trip" to LA last week with her classmates from Singapore. Not to miss an opportunity to visit with our favorite X-Pat, Molly's friend Matty and I flew down from SF for a "glitz and glam" weekend in LA (according to our planning emails).The trip wound up to be less an episode of Laguna Beach than it was a scene out of National Lampoon's Vacation. "Look kids, Big Ben, the Parliament" is one thing, but "Look guys, taco stand, the parking garage" is another, especially since we were in our home country where all the traffic rules theoretically should have made sense. Despite our best effort, we just couldn't figure out how to get in the right lane, or on the right highway for that matter.Exhibit A (above): Picture of Day 1. Is Pasadena close to Hollywood?So much for my vision of us walking around in over sized sunglasses, sipping soy lattes while people looked at us, trying to figure out if we were famous. I think we might have given ou...
More About: Grid , Glam , Amour , Glamour , Lock

G'Out Sick
2007-02-28 06:34:00
Almost as ridiculous as resigning via blackberry from a Barry Manilow show in Vegas, another friend of mine informed me today that he told his boss he couldn't make it into the office one day last week because he had "the gout." Unaware of the fact that gout patients suffer "sudden, severe attacks of pain and tenderness, redness, warmth, and swelling, usually in the big toe," he thought it sounded serious enough to warrant a day at home, but casual enough that he could blow it off and return to work the following day with some vague comments about feeling under the weather.Apparently, news of his "illness" spread quickly around his DC firm and he was barraged with questions upon his return. "Are you OK?" "How odd for someone so young to be affected by gout!" "How are you treating it?" Luckily one of the major risk factors is "Excessive alcohol consumption" which bolsters his case.
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Letters of Resignation Are So 1990
2007-02-27 02:10:00
My friend, who I'll refer to as Whitney's Biggest Fan from here on in, just managed to top his previously untoppable dramatic encounters. In the world of ridiculous stories, he's like the rare Olympian who competes with himself alone to break the standing record--no other athlete stands a chance. So if anyone was going to top his antics, it would be have be my friend himself.Whitney's biggest fan has been a very successful mortgage broker for the past couple of years. Throughout his short tenure at an unnamed big bank, he's been able to purchase two homes, a BMW and, I'm sure, a considerable amount of fabulous Whitney paraphernalia. However, his success came at the expense of his free time as he found himself working around the clock to keep up with growing client demands.I hadn't heard from him for a little while and decided to give him a call to get his sought after impressions on Academy Award outfit selections--the boy doesn't miss a trick. Side note: I was once at a bac...
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The Substitute Teacher Effect
2007-02-22 07:06:00
A tremendous sociological phenomenon occurred today on the 8:30 AM Pittsburg/Bay Point BART train. Crowded and uncomfortable, we passengers were irritable and seemingly devoid of all sympathy for our fellow riders. People were pushing, no one was moving over so that the small people could hold on to the vertical bars (since they can't reach the ones on the ceiling, a hardship I know all too well) and the prevailing attitude was one of general disdain.Suddenly, the BART conductor announced over the loud speaker in an angry female voice: "If you DON'T move away from the DOORS, this train is going out of SERVICE!" This conductor didn't care to warm us up with even one "Please stand clear of the doors, thank you"--she meant business. The train remained stopped at the Mission/16th station where I had boarded. About 30 seconds later another admonishing notice belted out from the load speakers dripping in venom, "If you want to be late for work, just keep standing near those doors." And...
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TV Character You're Most Like?
2007-02-20 05:11:00
Now I know how to answer that question next time it comes up as an icebreaker at a mandatory business retreat or in a time sucking online personality quiz that one of my friends sends me and I can't help but complete. After all, one might glean something important, a genuine breakthrough, from the results of "What Color Are You?" or "Are You in Love?"I bet hundreds of people who thought they were in love, really in love, were shocked to discover the truth--they were actually involved in an "average" relationship which could very well be the result of them being Orange and their husband being Green. The news may have been hard to swallow at first, but the truth will set you free, right? Well, I'm now going to get that much closer to finding out my real color and giving my professional colleagues an accurate picture of who I am now that I know which TV character I'm the most like. The news was delivered to me on Friday night at a bar by the 22 year old cousin of my friend Rob. The ...
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Some Reasons I Love San Francisco
2007-02-17 00:21:00
1. While my east coast friends and family were forced to bundle up and endure the bitter cold this week, I’ve been running around in boots with bare legs and meeting up with friends at outdoor cafes. Meanwhile, my scarves, gloves and hats remain safely in my scarves/gloves/hats drawer.2. On Valentine’s Day, I walked down the block to see an SF Indie Film Festival film about two men who steal and abuse a corpse. The theatre was packed.3. One of my gay friends told a bunch of us over a dim sum brunch that he’s been dating an Episcopalian priest. The only response was “So what happened to the prison warden?� 4. I got an ice cream cone recently at the new Bi-Rite Creamery and a glamorous woman who appeared to be in her late 70’s stopped me on my walk home to find out what flavor it was. “Chai Spiced Chocolate� I told her. She responded, “Between Tartin’s addictive bread pudding and the killer flavors at this new ice cream shop, I’ll bust right out of my yoga pants....
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