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Little do men perceive what solitude is, and how far it extendeth. For a cr
2007-02-05 16:25:01
I realized tonight when I filled my pill case that the housekeeper’s niece has been stealing from me. It didn’t help that it was the second time that there was no SAM-e left in my meds tote (I use an art supplies container I picked up at Target). And when I opened the bottle of Remeron it was empty. I’ve also been missing a diamond necklace since they started working here, but I kept rationalizing that I put that somewhere I couldn’t remember. I searched again tonight and must face the fact that it’s gone. And…it’s the second necklace like that I’ve had stolen by a housekeeper. The first one broke my heart - it was the diamond that was in my mother-in-law’s ring when they got married. That was also a young and stupid housekeeper. My mother told me that the trick hers used was to bring her the necklace with the diamond missing, saying it had been accidentally sucked up in the vacuum cleaner. Her mistake was doing it twice....
More About: Men , What , Hat , Tend , Little

Feels like Friday
2007-02-01 10:20:01
Had my review yesterday - was very good. Surprised me somewhat because it was so good. Still can’t guarantee that will translate into money, but I almost don’t care about that. I care a lot more that what goes into my personnel record is that I’m doing a great job. He hardly had anything negative to say - and it was all about (this won’t shock you) my need to work less. He told me point blank that I can’t continue to carry the team. They’re very aware what I risk because of that - and I have taken steps to amend that in the past couple of months by keeping my hours to under 50 a week. If I’m productive for all of that time, I still get a tremendous amount done. Probably feels like Frida y because I’ll be working from home tomorrow. We’re expecting snow - and will be lucky if that’s the worst of it. Here in the middle latitudes we get some impressive ice storms. Tomorrow shouldn’t be bad (I hope) but still not...
More About: Like , Feel , Eels

Fountain of Sorrow
2007-01-28 22:18:02
Looking through some photographs I found inside a drawer I was taken by a photograph of you There were one or two I know that you would have liked a little more But they didn’t show your spirit quite as true You were turning ’round to see who was behind you And I took your childish laughter by surprise And at the moment that my camera happened to find you There was just a trace of sorrow in your eyes Now the things that I remember seem so distant and so small Though it hasn’t really been that long a time What I was seeing wasn’t what was happening at all Although for a while, our path did seem to climb But when you see through love’s illusions, there lies the danger And your perfect lover just looks like a perfect fool So you go running off in search of a perfect stranger While the loneliness seems to spring from your life Like a fountain from a pool Fountain of sorrow, fountain of light You’ve known that hollow sound of your own steps in flight Y...
More About: Sorrow

Revelations
2007-01-28 22:18:02
As I was checking my mail on Yahoo! I happened to notice yet another In the News item about the results of a head-scratching exhaustive (and expensive) study. The head-scratching part is why they ever set out to study it to begin with. You know the ones I mean - Putting hand in fire increases chance of being burned and the like. So I set out to find some of the more entertaining ones. In the paper this week - Lower intelligence increases risk of being injured (tractor pull, anyone?) From Stupid Studies in The Lantern (Ohio State student newspaper) - Caffeine, sleeplessness linked in teenagers, People on low-carb diets are more irritable, and Heavy social drinkers exhibit the same amount of brain damage as alcoholics Lack of sleep linked to poor academic performance Link found between bake sales and obesity From Newsweek - the results of a groundbreaking study on Why teenagers do stupid things (this must have been conducted by people who have no children, as the answer is obvious...
More About: Revelations , Vela , Revelation

Humor is mankind?s greatest blessing ? Mark Twain
2007-01-28 22:18:02
The cats and I have many chores to do today - these are necessary to distract us from the fact that none of us is getting any sex. The house is in pretty decent shape - will have to employ some work activities to round out the time. As expected, the relationship with my correspondent is going nowhere. Work and my overall mental health improved dramatically the latter part of the week. The manager rolled out the new organizational structure that I helped him devise; I found out he is planning to bring on board the guy we interviewed a few months ago (we liked him for my manager’s job but the higher ups rejected him for reasons that kind of do make sense and with which I won’t bore you); and it seems pretty clear that he and I will become the new supervisors in the group within the next year. LL is planning to retire this year and though I like him I won’t mourn his leaving; RL will end up somewhere else one way or another. The hardest part is that he’s no...
More About: Humor , Great , Mankind , Sing , Test

A progressive woman who doesn?t support Hillary Clinton
2007-01-28 22:18:02
I need to work today, so I can’t write at length about the topic - too bad, since I think I could skewer it reasonably well. Would also love to populate a new Stuff to read just on this topic - might do that later if I get some other things done. Suffice it to say, only Republicans and most of the population west of the San Gabriel mountains are excited about her entering the presidential race. I held out hope she would wait - now I can only hope that she gets thumped in the primaries. I have nothing against her personally and she certainly is an intelligent and savvy individual. I also have no quarrel with the fact that she is female - about time we put something other than a stuffed white shirt in the White House. But damn it, we need someone who doesn’t polarize the country any more than it already is. And while I’m sure she’s grown a fair bit since, her utter failure with health care reform is an embarrassment. So, Mrs. Clint on - drop out quickly....
More About: Progressive , Hillary Clinton , Port , Support

Stuff to read (February)
2007-01-28 22:18:02
01/23/07 - General Wesley Clark on Hannity & ColmesWesPAC
More About: Stuff , Read , February

Pressing my luck
2007-01-25 10:16:01
I am a superstitious person - not obsessively so, but some. This not only informs my actions; it also affects my thought processes. The thing that is currently making me crazy (er) is a man. He’s a very nice man - perhaps nicer than I deserve. I’ve not written about him here because our relationship is still in its infancy - in fact, less so. We met a couple of months ago - online of course - and we have not yet met in person. It has been hard on me because it is so reminiscent of other events in my life. Even as I sit writing this I doubt that I will post it. As things go with me, if I yearn for it, I can’t have it. If I admit to myself that I care for this person, thus ends the possibility that I will ever know him. I wrote that last night. This morning - well, it’s afternoon now - I have to face the fact that I’m in the ditch and won’t be able to climb out of it by sheer will. That often works - I’m a tough old bird - but I...
More About: Press , Sing , Luck

Though I’ve written about this before, it was on one o
2007-01-15 04:06:02
Though I’ve written about this before, it was on one of the blogs that I lost. No, I don’t back up what I write here - when I become famous (that’s a joke, son) perhaps my minions will take care of that. For now I have solved the issue by using a paid hosting provider and crossing my fingers. It’s just too much like work - and I have work to do today anyway. Working on a presentation to revive the project that I did a year ago that the dimwits at work have finally realized needs to be implemented. Read 400 pages of documentation on Friday, which I will compile into a few pages of PowerPoint today so the geniuses that run the company can absorb it. This is what I do - make the complex simple for simple minds. Doesn’t bother me - just wish I were getting laid to reward me for the effort (no, not by them - ick). Back to today’s topic. I asked my family doctor once how the medical profession views abortion - he confirmed that most consider it a n...
More About: About , Fore , Written

Yes, I?m awake
2007-01-11 16:03:02
The perils of napping during the day when I am not really in a sleep debt. Will be tomorrow . No matter - it keeps me from being late to my workshop and I’ll just ingest lots of caffeine (probably won’t go to bed at all). Despite my best efforts, still managed to see a snippet of the address from GW - or at least a summary of it. I had hoped in my heart of hearts that someone would talk some sense into him. But apparently what he has decided is that doing what we’ve been doing all along is good enough. Another 100,000 troops are not going to stabilize the region. Twice that number might, but I don’t even know if we have twice that number anymore. And who are they going to send? The National Guardsmen and reservists who have already done more than their share? Suit up, Mr. President - Uncle Sam wants you. The problem with this situation is that it doesn’t cause enough pain to us or our leaders. The debt we’re incurring will be enjoyed by...
More About: Wake , Awake

2007-01-11 16:03:02
Watching Mrs. Doubtfire to avoid the politics - resting to get over the cold. Hasn’t (knock wood) developed into anything more than a slight fever, which appears to be abating. Doing the Vitamin C thing (about 2000 mg a day) and didn’t go into work today - took a long nap in the afternoon as well. Have pneumonia too often to screw around with even the most minor virus. Have the drugs just in case but I hope that works to forestall it in some mystic way. Girlcat is resting between my legs, licking the leather recliner. Have no idea what prompts her to do that and my fussing at her about it does no good whatsoever. Boycat is doubtless asleep on the futon where the boy sleeps. He does that often, especially after the boy has been here recently. He adores him - sleeps with him when he’s here and follows him around like a dog. I told him that I forgive him for giving me his cold (which was far worse in him). He doesn’t believe he did but it surely was fr...

Current comment blacklist
2007-01-11 16:03:02
If you use Wordpress and want to update your comment blacklist, feel free to borrow. I’ve omitted the more colorful phrases this time. They can be found here. Oh yeah, the boy gave me his cold but I’m fighting it bravely. pfizer bankersite comeget mojeforum webglobal model xoomer levitra alprazolam hoodia amoxicillin viaggi anyboard.net tramadol informazionicentro virtualeinformazioni superioreinformazioni pianetanotizia notiziapianeta mionotizia mioinformazioni informazionigratis informazionidiretto dandone go2click picknews calling-cards-online 1interestra datavoip italyfun mobilephones thegeminiweb www_3_1.gmail bloggen.be scjyzb acetaminophen meninpain cartoon69 camcrushcams teens tranny hydrocodone menover30 blackgangwhitebang pinkvisualdvds maturexrotica fantasylatinablog repubblica forospace zopeuk crazystuff informazioniterra volny cialis nationallotery antiquariato disegno bkzb frankthesaint solisearch aciphex prevacid bingogoldenpalace zyrtec allegra blogsp...
More About: Men , Current , Black , List , Comment

Pardon my whining
2007-01-11 16:03:02
Had an attack of the monster munchies when I got home from work. Was a relatively peaceful, ordered day. G stopped by late in the day to tell me his troubles. Nothing wrong with our interaction, but he relayed something to me that started to eat a large hole inside me (thus the need to fill it). G was very pleasant to me (he’s really a good guy, just has occasional difficulty with impulse control and doesn’t like new things) but he told me of yet another comment made by the other senior person who gives me the most trouble. Henceforth I shall refer to him as PaW - you can substitute whatever suits you, but I’m sure you know what I mean. The tool that we wrote (G and I plus another person at the remote site) is rolling around to PaW’s turn to manage for the month. He’s G’s backup this month and will move into the hot seat soon. And G has been reporting (with admirable equanimity) the various pronouncements that have spewed forth from the wis...
More About: Pardon

I am not your demographic
2007-01-11 16:03:02
Gosh I wish spammer bots could read. But then, the advertisers on television don’t realize that their ads have no effect on me, either. We are, for the most part, anti-consumers. The cats almost never shop - I do occasionally but in only two places - online and the supermarket. This year I stopped at Pendleton to buy a sweater for my son. He’s a junior this year and is already well into the application process for an internship this summer. The competition is fierce - he started the process before the Thanksgiving break. He buys his own clothes, once a year before the new school year begins (I do pay for much of that but only by writing a check to his Visa). He’s remarkably responsible for a college student. He carries that Visa year-round but only his plane tickets and agreed-upon expenses generally appear on it. Every now and then he slips in a meal but I pay no mind. He dresses conservatively because that’s how I dressed him during his formative ...
More About: Your , Demo , Graphic , Graph , Demographic

No one ever said they were smart
2007-01-11 16:03:02
Had a spam comment today in which the link wasn’t entered properly - in fact, it was done so stupidly that I imagine that this particular professional spammer is not making a great deal of money at his work. Was chairing a meeting once at IBM in which one of the support folks asked about how to do a particular thing. Wasn’t hard - just needed to allocate a data set to the TSO session and run that way. After I explained - and told him that I would send a note with instructions so he was sure he knew what I meant - one of the perpetual whiners of the group spoke up. He implored that our customers would not want to bother to allocate a data set to their TSO session to accomplish this task. I replied, “Then they should seek other work.” My son’s grandmother passed away on New Year’s Day. We went to the service yesterday. Was nice. We were all grateful that she didn’t linger; ALS is a terrible illness. I was careful to stay out of the fam...
More About: Smart , Mart , They , Ever , Said

Stop reading this blog!
2007-01-11 16:03:02
I’m seriously considering removing the ability to comment here. I’m relentless about blocking spammers but it’s still a painstaking process. And for some reason I refuse to implement one of the plugins that are available to handle them. Do you remember the Stephen Wright joke in which he says he bought a humidifier and a dehumidifier, put them in the same room and let them fight it out? It’s just too weird to me to implement a bot to kill their bot. Or perhaps it’s my paranoia that the machines will take over the world someday…. The only alternative to lower the page rank by driving away readers - thus the admonition above. Or maybe it’s just that spam makes me feel loved . Speaking of feeling loved, there are some changes in store for 2007. Have quit smoking - still new at it and could right now bite the heads off of chickens, but getting there. Didn’t help that one of the senior folks at work arrived this morning demonstrati...
More About: Reading , Blog , Read , This , Stop

A pedestal is as much a prison as any small, confined space.
2006-12-31 22:00:08
My negotiated discount for standard cable was about to expire so I called to drop to basic. I hate paying for just about anything - particularly things I don’t get much use out of (be afraid, housekeeper; be very afraid). So it’s become even more difficult to keep the background noise on the TV pointed at something that doesn’t drive me straight up the wall. Case in point, The Real Housewives of Orange County. Oh no, not the show - that would be madness - the ads for it on Bravo (one of the few “extras” that come with basic cable). Admittedly the quick soundbites that occur in the ads are a shallow representation of who these people are; nevertheless, one is left with the impression that shallow is sufficient. Why do women still trade on their looks? Do they calculate what they will take away from the marriage beforehand when their charms inevitably fade? Perhaps it’s like being an actress - you bank what you can while you’re still ban...
More About: Space , Small , Prison , Much , Mall

2006-12-27 21:56:01
Doing much better today. Started the GNC supplement last night and had a really good day. Picked this particular one because it contains this herb which I read good things about (on the internet, of course). It’s unlikely to actually get the cycle started, but if it keeps me from offing myself that’s something. Getting that going will likely entail the drug I picked up today (sigh). And then there are the potential consequences of that drug. Can cause depression, among other things. Not a whole lot of fun to take in any case. Had a hot flash the last time I took a similar drug at the full dose. Frankly, I don’t care what does or doesn’t happen - at least I didn’t wake up today gripped by the desire to kill myself. Nothing else matters.

As I rejected amnesty, so I reject revenge. I ask all Americ
2006-12-27 21:56:01
So long, Jerry. We were honored to know you.
More About: Amnesty , Rejected , Nest , Revenge

Ho Ho Ho
2006-12-26 21:55:01
Finally figured out what is wrong - hormones. Been dealing with the menopause thing for a while now and this is the latest manifestation. Have been premenstrual for a month and it’s (literally) driving me insane. Simply put, too much estrogen, no progesterone. Will fix that tomorrow. I hope.

2006-12-26 21:55:01
Install a new version of the operating system Drag two obnoxious coworkers through a major development project that lasts for months Make sure it stresses their meager skills Carry a pager 24×7 Take crap from one of your peers about that because he is threatened by it Get involved in several major outages, many involving conference calls that last until dawn Begin to notice that you are tired all the time Take enormous amount of abuse from coworker - report same repeatedly to your “management” and have them do nothing Quit your job Get talked into coming back because the company is terrified of a lawsuit Begin working with new manager; have hours of conversation with him about what is really happening there; spend several late nights doing same Take more crap from one of your peers, this time for having been on a call that he thought he was handling - try to explain that you were covering until midnight when the call came in - have him ignore you Be told you must ...

Faith is reason grown courageous. ? Sherwood Eddy
2006-12-23 21:54:14
I’m watching Jay Leno interview Dustin Hoffman, which is delightful. The mere lack of reference to Rosie O’Donnell or The Donald is refreshing. I’ve seen people show their asses before of course, but the two of them should be shut in a room to shield us from both of them. I have tried to warm up to The Donald over the years, allowing as how he might just be human. Well, he might be human but apparently he’s also a jackass. She has never been my favorite person but her behavior has been disappointing nonetheless. Mind you, I have no idea what started their feud (nor am I interested). But at least the feud between The Dixie Chicks and Toby Keith was entertaining. I can scarcely skip from channel to channel fast enough to get away from another odious retelling of this ridiculosity. It reached its nadir when I was not swift enough with the remote to get away from The Donald describing Rosie’s repulsiveness inside and out. Now, I never imagined that...
More About: Faith , Wood , Sherwood , Rage , Reason

2006-12-20 03:50:04
I’ve been away for a while - running pretty hard with all that’s going on. My mother-in-law is lingering but since she is no longer getting any food, she won’t be here much longer. She has taught me a lot about life and death. Her poise during all of this has been inspiring. Last weekend’s visit also involved getting a gas leak fixed at their house. Long story - he suddenly was doing worse after his surgery and I finally noticed that the house smelled funny (they are having some construction done and the crew caused the leak). After it was repaired and he was away from the carbon monoxide for several hours, he was doing a lot better. Still, it was two very long days over the weekend and I could feel the effects yesterday and today. Not that you care to hear about such things, but I’ve been waiting for the monthly cycle to start for nearly three weeks. Read - PMSing for nearly three weeks. Just swell. Today my head exploded again at work. Even ...

2006-12-13 03:44:01
My mother-in-law is not doing well. He is up and around but still tired after his surgery. She is getting weaker. I spent some time with both of them today and she has deteriorated since my last visit. I spoke to her nurse because she’s eating poorly. They might have to put in a feeding tube. Actually, it’s a near certainty. Have been watching old movies this weekend and not working. Hormonal storm is raging. Much going on in my personal life but not ready to talk about it. Two baskets of clean laundry stare at me in defiance. I did get food in the house this weekend. That was something. Back to the madhouse tomorrow.

2006-12-09 15:41:01
Sleeping much better. Should have my meds on board by now but was working tonight. I’ll sleep in tomorrow. Wish I had something pithy to say but not so much. Had to move the other blog again - finally gave in and went to a paid hosting service. Getting a note saying that the thing is going to disappear the next day is not fun. Spent last night making the move - fortunately it was easier than the first time since the paid provider has more features. Going to see the ex-laws this weekend and do some work on the prototype work management system I’m building. And sleep. Lots of sleep.

2006-12-08 03:39:01
I should forget my pills more often. Didn’t fall asleep until 3 AM but I slept straight through until noon. Must have turned off the alarm but have no recollection of same. Feel MUCH better. The falling asleep at the right time is problematic, but staying asleep is more important. Happy day.

Tuesday - Adventures in profanity
2006-12-06 15:37:02
Forgot to take my meds today. Opened my pillcase tonight and there they were. In the middle of struggling with this sleeping issue and I forget my fucking meds. Swell. I took them. Will have to wait a bit before taking the nighttime antidepressant. Guess I should go do some work.
More About: Venture , Adventure , Prof , Profanity , Adventures

2006-12-05 03:35:02
What? You expected me to be asleep? I did ensure that no stimulants were consumed today but no improvement yet in the sleeping difficulty. I really like the new blog - it’s prettier than this one and it’s on a domain that I know is restricted. Much harder for the youngsters to get there. If you’re not running blocking software on your computer, yours are probably reading it now. Was thinking about how the worthless of the world make things so much harder for the rest of us. And about work. I need to find some way to get along there. Asked my manager to find something for me to bury myself in. Finally smacked down the guy at the remote site on Friday. He’d done something incorrectly the night before (related to the problem we worked all week). I checked on him, corrected his error and sent him a note. He responded with a flame - before he figured out what I was doing. He then wrote to say he had done the reverse. I wrote back to explain my action...

2006-12-03 15:33:03
It is now about 2:30 AM - got up to make sure nighttimes meds were taken properly. Sadly they were, thus leading us to the conclusion that we are in trouble. It will take a few months for this to deteriorate to the point that intervention is required but it won’t be a fun few months. You might wonder why I don’t take an additional sleeping pill. Answer is, they don’t work. Tried Ambien a few times back in the day - doesn’t touch this. No warm-milk remedies for this - sleep cycle is permanently disrupted. I could, say, ask that I be taken off of the on-call rotation. I could request that I not spend a couple of nights a month on calls until dawn. I could request that I no longer have to pull all-nighters to cover implementations. I could also request that I be elected Queen and that a sack of money be left under my desk on alternate Tuesdays. Perhaps we can get that woman who left the snotty comment about how I’m “taking advantage” ...

Twenty-Four
2006-12-01 10:30:09
The number of spam comments left by the latest entrepreneur. Some time ago I started using the host address to block comments - works well until a new hopeful stumbles upon the site. Mildly curious as to how they find me. But I suppose the fact that the site is here is enough. I’m tired. Been working an issue for several days and today was the joyous experience of getting snapped at by the person who’s actually on call. He missed the page the first night but it’s just as well - they were driving back to the remote site the next day and I was on the call until dawn. Oh, did I mention that it’s the guy who’s always a prick to me? Or did you guess? My current favorite commercial is the T-Mobile one where the boy comes home to find a new grandmother in the living room (she’s in our network, Grandma Faye wasn’t). Truly inspired lunacy. Brutally disappointing meeting with the team on Tuesday. Everyone was here but one from the remote site...
More About: Twenty , Four , Went