Mommy off the RecordMommy off the RecordA humorous look at new motherhood by a new mom trying to figure it all out. Join me for a virtual margherita, and let’s talk about the stuff we might not bring up at our little one’s playgroup for fear that the other moms might look at us weird. Articles
Where does he come up with this stuff?
2007-11-27 09:00:00 Little Guy peers over at me while breastfeeding the baby and goes... "Is that tasty, Little Brother?" More About: Stuff
My Heart is a Melting Puddle on the Floor
2007-11-21 16:22:00 Last night as I lay next next to Little Guy in his bed while he was falling asleep.... Me: I love you, honey. Little Guy: I love you too, mama. (That was the first time he's ever said it back.) Oh, so much to be thankful for this year. More About: Heart , Floor
An Open Letter
2007-11-20 09:00:00 Dear L.L. Bean, Solutions, Eddie Bauer, Lands End, Red Envelope, Crate and Barrel, Pottery Barn, Pottery Barn Kids, Pottery Barn Baby, Plow & Hearth, and Other Various Christmasy and/or Gadgety Magazines that I Will Never Buy Anything From: Pleeeease stop sending me your catalogues. Pleeease. You're wasting paper. I mean it. So just stop. My recycle bin can't take it anymore. Sincerely, MotR More About: Open , Letter , Open Letter
Music You'll Want to Listen To Too!
2007-11-16 16:30:00 Usually when I turn on a DVD for my toddler to watch, I want to leave the room as soon as possible. The music is generally annoying enough to get me running the other way. One of the exceptions to this is when we watch That Baby DVD and listen to That Baby CD. Continue reading review... More About: Music , Listen
Another Reason to Go Vegetarian
2007-11-15 20:21:00 I've been an on-again off-again vegetarian for the last few years. It's been hard to maintain my vegetarianism during my pregnancies - hence, the "off-again" part. But after reading the latest news on what the meat industry is doing, I'm seriously thinking of going vegetarian again. For years, meat manufacturers have been injecting meat with carbon monoxide to give it a fresh, pink look. The More About: Vegetarian , Reason
Excuse Me While I Vent For A Second
2007-11-15 09:00:00 Tonight I made dinner. We had pork chops with plum chutney, peas and carrots, and rice pilaf, with a home-baked persimmon bread for dessert. I admit that it wasn't gourmet, but it was edible and it had most of the food groups so I was happy with it. After supper I bathed Little Guy while Husband cleaned the kitchen. Upon briefly entering our bedroom to get something, I noticed that Husband had More About: Excuse , Vent
Potty Training Begins
2007-11-12 09:03:00 Ever since Little Guy came home from daycare and told me about Carson's penis, I've noticed that his fascination with the bathroom has greatly increased. Come to find out that his daycare is starting the beginnings of potty training. Hence the reason that he's seen Carson's penis. And hence the reason for his recent obsession with sitting on the potty. I've been dreading this whole potty More About: Training , Potty Training , TRAI , Raining
Someone Get Rid of This Candy Before I Eat Myself to Death
2007-11-07 05:31:00 That's three Snickers bars, one Crunch bar, one Starburst and a Baby Ruth. And that's just what you see pictured here. There were more wrappers in the garbage. On the bright side, it got me through a tough period in the afternoon yesterday between approximately 1:00pm and 2:00pm when Little Guy decided not to nap and to instead methodically try to drive me insane with annoying toddler-esque More About: Candy , Death , Some
Printakid's Personalized Books for Children
2007-11-05 09:42:00 When I think about the keepsakes that I really treasure from my childhood, the two personalized children's books that my parents bought me come close to the top of my list. To this day, I still like to take a peek at them from time to time and read the fantasy stories that were written just for me. So I was really excited to get a chance to review Printakid's personalized books for children. More About: Children , Books
People Who Smash Jack-o-Lanterns are the Lowest of the Low
2007-11-04 18:22:00 OK maybe not as low as pedophiles or anything, but people who smash jack-o-lanterns are some of the lowest forms of life. I don't care if they are just kids "having fun". Haven't their parents taught them any manners??! So to the person who smashed the jack-o-lantern sitting on our porch -- the first jack-o-lantern that Little Guy had ever carved from the first pumpkin that he had ever picked More About: People , Jack , Smash , Mash
What $700 a Month of Daycare Tuition Gets You
2007-10-30 06:50:00 Me: So, do you like going to daycare? Little Guy: Yeah! Me: Do you see all your friends at daycare? Little Guy: Yeah! Me: Who are your friends? Little Guy: Mia and Carson and Noah and Jake! Me: Wow, you have lots of friends! Little Guy (spreading his hands wide): Yeah, and Carson has a BIIIIIIGGG penis! WTF? Little Guy (in a whisper): And Little Guy has a little penis. In his diaper. More About: Tuition , Month , Mont
Can a Toddler Subsist on Yogurt Alone?
2007-10-26 09:00:00 Lately, this has been our dinner mealtime routine. Little Guy: I want yogurt. Me: Sorry, hon. It's time for dinner. Little Guy: No! I want YOGURT! Me: Yogurt is not a dinner food. I made a nice dinner for you. You're going to like it. Little Guy: NO! I no like dinner. I want YOGURT!! Me: NO, you can't have yogurt! It's dinnertime. Now go sit in your booster chair. Little Guy (flinging More About: Toddler , Subs
Just Shoot Me
2007-10-24 00:43:00 I am so frustrated. When Little Guy was born, I followed the standard immunization schedule and he got all of his shots on time (or at least most of them). When he was about a year and a half old, I read What Your Doctor May Not Tell You about Children's Vaccinations. The book opened my eyes a bit to the additives in various shots and some of the controversy regarding multiple dosing. Around More About: Shoot
Postscript
2007-10-23 03:16:00 Wow. So much great advice and encouragement in the comments of my last post. Thank you. If I could sum it up, the most common comment was: "It will get easier." I can't tell you how much it helps to be reminded of this. And by the way, I feel more than a little wimpish for even complaining. I am lucky to have two healthy children. I should probably shut my trap and just be thankful (though the
A Rant and a Question
2007-10-16 22:49:00 Now that the baby is two months old and I have had 60 whole days to experience the wonder and joy that is caring for two little children, I can officially tell you the following: This shit is hard. My marriage is suffering. My house is a mess. My toenails need clipping like you wouldn't believe. I haven't had a decent shower in days. And, uh, this shit is hard. (Oh, sorry I think I said that More About: Question , Rant
Showdown at the Hoedown
2007-10-14 07:31:00 To the angry dude who acted like a complete jerk-off at the pumpkin patch today: Do you really think it was necessary to talk shit to the hayride driver in front of approximately 20 people (including several children) who were sitting like civilized people and waiting patiently for the hayride to begin? I mean, I know you had to wait an extra 5 whole minutes because the driver (nice soul that
Live Breastfeeding: Beware of Nipple Flashing
2007-10-10 20:31:00 Today I'm bringing you live breastfeeding in support of the League of Maternal Justice's Breast Fest! I've been having trouble uploading the video to Blogger so you have to click here to view it on YouTube. Enjoy! Disclaimer: I think I flashed my nipple a couple times accidentally. It was a little difficult holding the video camera while breastfeeding. Plus, the baby has a little cold so he More About: Breastfeeding , Live , Beware , Flashing
Reality Check
2007-10-08 17:14:00 Last night while I was working out at the gym, I looked down at myself. I was toned, trim, and in overall great shape. I couldn't believe it! Just 7 weeks after having a baby and I had NO cellulite. None! I looked good. Damn good. And lemme tell you, it was such a great feeling. I felt young and healthy and in shape. ...And then I woke up, hauled my fat butt out of bed, and had myself a More About: Reality , Check , Ality
Why the News Sucks
2007-10-04 07:16:00 Anyone else think it's INSANE how much media coverage is being paid to the Britney Spears drama? It seems like it's been leading the news all week. My question is: Why is it even IN the news? Wait. Don't answer that. I know there are millions of people hanging on the details of her crazy life for some weird reason. But you know, I'd personally love it if the major news networks would actually More About: News , The News , Sucks
Heart Ache
2007-10-02 18:56:00 Dear M, It's not your birthday or a special occasion, but I still feel compelled to write to you. You are 27 months old - a toddler - officially in the "terrible two's." But you know what? Things aren't so terrible. In fact, they are quite wonderful. You are wonderful. And that is why I am writing you. So that you know how wonderful I think you are and how much I love you. Did you know that More About: Heart
Get out your nursing bras. It's time for a virtual sit in!
2007-09-26 17:02:00 By now you've probably heard that Facebook is requiring that women remove pictures of themselves breastfeeding because the pictures are "obscene". Grr. Even writing that sentence makes me want to squirt some booby milk in the face of a Facebook executive. Anyhoo, when I heard about this injustice the first thing I wanted to do was stage a huge mommyblogger boob-a-thon wherein people would More About: Time , Bras , Virtual , Nursing
Who says you need a daughter to have someone to do girlie things with....
2007-09-24 19:37:00 Mama, how does this shade look on me? Disclaimer: I did not put him up to this. He found my make-up all on his own and now he's addicted. Try to interrupt his morning make-up routine and pay. Pay dearly. More About: Things , Daughter , Some
Ah, the silly things women say to each other
2007-09-20 18:32:00 A woman toting two kids behind her walked past me as I sat on a bench breastfeeding the baby. As she passed me, she said: "Doesn't it just make you feel like a cow sometimes?"Uh. No, I really never thought of myself as a cow. Until you said that. Thanks a lot, beeyotch. The incident just kinda left me wanting to go open a Facebook account and post a picture of myself breastfeeding shirtless. More About: Women , Things , Silly
Moms Speak Up!
2007-09-18 01:53:00 The ever eco-conscious Izzy Mom has started a new website called Moms Speak Up. Moms Speak Up is collaborative blog of writers posting about the environment, dangerous imports, food safety, toy recalls, education, health care and many other topics of concern. When Izzy sent out a call for volunteers to write for the site, I couldn't say 'no'. I have written before on my own blog about
On Blogging: Just One Last Thing
2007-09-17 23:51:00 If the comments on my last post taught me anything it's that a) I have some kick-ass readers who are amazingly generous as to leave me a comment to reassure me and tell me to stop feeling guilty about the whole blogging thing... and b) that we are all, to some degree or another, in the exact same boat. We are all struggling to maintain the same balance as mothers and bloggers, and we are just More About: Blogging , Thing
How Can I Be a Good Blogger and a Good Mother?
2007-09-15 00:57:00 I have no time to blog. No time. Between the toddler and the 3-week-old, there's just NO TIME. As I write this post, both of my guys are miraculously napping at the same time. I should also be napping, but I'm not. I won't go into why because I don't have time to write about it and actually there are more pressing issues for this post. Here's the thing: I don't know how to be a good blogger More About: Blogger , Mother , Good
The Boo-Boo Kisser
2007-09-13 02:14:00 Now that we're into the second week of daycare with Little Guy, it appears that we have made some progress. He no longer clings desperately to Husband's leg letting out wild hyena-like shrieks and yelling "No Daddy! Noooooooo!" when Husband says good-bye in the morning. Yeah, that behavior is so last week. Now when Husband leaves, Little Guy cries but a little less fiercly. Husband "
Birth Story
2007-09-12 02:22:00 Skip this post if birth stories aren't your thing... This is the story of the birth of my second son on 8/20/07. It was written by the doula who assisted me during the birth. I went ahead and added my own inserts here and there in italics. I met Cristina and her husband in February of 2007, when they were looking for extra support for the birth of their second son. They asked me to be their More About: Story , Birth
Of Bad Men and Roller Coasters
2007-09-10 06:37:00 Severed body parts A roller coaster ride that goes out of control Men trying to get into my house to kill my family These are the types of dreams I've been having lately. WTF is going on? I never had weird dreams while I was pregnant and now all of a sudden I'm practically afraid to go to bed at night. I have psychoanalyzed myself and I think that I am having these dreams because I am afraid ( More About: Coasters , Roller , Aster
Little Guy Develops Manners
More articles from this author:2007-09-06 19:38:00 Ever since Little Guy's close brush with the f-word back in July, I've been ramping up my efforts to work on his manners. I routinely ask him to say "please" and "thank you" when we're at home with the hopes that these phrases will become automatic pretty soon. So last week when we were at the in-laws house, I was a bit disappointed to hear the following exchange between Little Guy and his aunt More About: Manners 1, 2, 3 |
|
 |
|
 |
