Mommy off the RecordMommy off the RecordA humorous look at new motherhood by a new mom trying to figure it all out. Join me for a virtual margherita, and let’s talk about the stuff we might not bring up at our little one’s playgroup for fear that the other moms might look at us weird. Articles
Reason #56 Why TV Isn't That Bad After All
2008-05-27 03:04:00 Scene: Me and Little Guy on the floor with his toy train. Little Guy: Mommy, can you put my train together for me? Me: Sure! Five minutes later I'm still fidgeting with the goddamn thing. Little Guy: Gee, this is exasperating! Me: What did you say? Little Guy: This is exasperating! Me (to hubby in the other room): Did you hear what he just said??! He used the word exasperating in a More About: Reason
The Diet from Hell
2008-05-18 04:33:00 I don't think I've blogged about this before, but my baby has eczema. He's had it since he was 4 months old. He's now 9 months old and it hasn't gotten any better. It's all over his back, but no where else. It looks like a chemical burn or something. It's bright red, and alternately either really flaky or really raised and rough. Oh, and it's REALLY itchy. I feel so bad. We have taken him to the More About: Diet , Hell
I am SO behind the times
2008-05-15 09:21:00 I finally had a few minutes to get onto Twitter and find out what it's all about. And holy shit, people. It's like crack for bloggers. Crack. It should be illegal, I tell you. I already have 5 email accounts and 4 blogs. I don't have time for this! And yet...I feel it calling... Are you following me yet? :) More About: Times , The Times
Johnson & Johnson Marketing Toxic Baby Perfume?
2008-05-12 09:07:00 The other day my friend told me that she has a friend that puts perfume on her baby. My immediate thought was: WTF? I questioned her about it and found out that this woman does indeed put perfume on her infant. Cuz, you know, she wants to make her baby smell good. Why anyone would want to mask the wonderful natural baby smell by putting synthetic fragrances on a baby is beyond me. But my next More About: Marketing , Baby , Perfume , Johnson , Toxic
Not Just a Pretty Face: Please Read This Book
2008-05-09 07:17:00 If you read anything this year, this is the book you should read. A friend recommended that I read this so I bought it and I have to tell you that it is one of the most important books I have ever read. Please go read it, share it, blog about it. Tell everyone you can. The name of the book is Not Just a Pretty Face : The Ugly Side of the Beauty Industry. It can be purchased for just $11 on More About: Book , Read
Runnin' to the Border
2008-05-04 10:01:00 (Warning: do not eat while reading today's post.) I'm just going to cut right to the chase and say it: Little Guy has been having some trouble pooping lately. Actually, he's been having a LOT of trouble for the last three months. Without going into the gory details, it has been really troublesome and we have been trying EVERYTHING - prunes, prune juice, liquids, cutting out the sugar and
Why People Visit Here: Sad But True
2008-04-28 09:08:00 I was checking my site meter for the first time in probably a year and I found that many (too many) people are coming here via Google after searching for "barny*rd p*rn." Ew. I have gone back to the offending post and removed the wording. I imagine my site hits are now going to plummet. Heh. But I really don't want perves looking at my mommy blog. That said, I have a feeling that said perves More About: People , True , Visit
Rockabye Book Review
2008-04-23 09:00:00 When I first started blogging over two years ago, I had a very short list of blogs that I read - mainly, because I was new at blogging so I only knew of a handful of blogs. One of the very first blogs I stumbled upon was Rebecca Woolf's blog, (This) Girl's Gone Child. I was captivated by her writing. It drew me in. So much so, that despite having since found gazillions of mommy blogs, her blog is More About: Book Review , Review , Book
Two Signs that My 2 1/2 Year Old Is Watching Too Much TV
2008-04-22 06:56:00 No, mommy, I don't want to! I'm going to make you go away from me with my Mickey Mouse Mouskatool!! WTF? If that's not bad enough, he will randomly and without warning shout out "P-B-S Kids DOT ORG!!" It's disturbing. But at least it's PBS, right? *sigh* More About: Signs , Watching , Year
Deep Thought for Wednesday
2008-04-09 09:00:00 Ah motherhood. I loooooove being a mom. Seriously. It's the best thing I've ever done in my life! However, it also makes me want to regularly throw back a few shots of tequila around 4pm. I know you know what I'm talkin about. Speaking of which, I find it ironic that the time in my life that I am most in need of an adult beverage is also the only time in my life that I cannot consume said More About: Thought , Deep , Wednesday
Shower
2008-04-05 22:02:00 My husband is always asking me, "What do you do in the shower for so long??" His showers take approximately 1.5 minutes. I know. It's not so green of me. But still, it really amazes me that he even has to ask. That he doesn't know what I'm doing. Standing still, amongst the soap slivers and half-empty bottles of shampoo, letting the water go from hot to warm to tepid. Hearing nothing. No More About: Shower
And the "Crappy Mother of the Year Award" Goes To...
2008-04-04 07:24:00 Don't bother entering the "Fucked-up Mother of the Year " Contest because I've totally got this one. I'm winning that contest. Hands down. I'm also going to win the "Bad Wifey" and "Sucky Homemaker" Award s as well. So don't even bother competing with me. Because based on my performance in these categories today, there is no way I won't win. First of all, I dislocated my 2-year-old's elbow. Yeah
WTF: Mother-In-Law Edition
2008-04-01 07:23:00 For my birthday recently, my mother-in-law handed me a small, wrapped present. When she handed it over she said, "I hope you don't take offense to this." Uh, hmmmm. OK. I opened it. Inside was a potty training book. "I think Little Guy is ready to potty train so I thought you could use this book." Honestly, my first reaction was "Great!" I totally do need to potty train him soon so the book More About: Mother , Edition
Dirty Little Secret
2008-03-26 05:47:00 Before I get to the dirty little secret, can I tell you that I totally almost welled up with tears to see that people are still reading and willing to comment here. I really don't deserve it, you guys. I feel so guilty for my blog suckiness, for not getting out there and visiting. I simply don't have the time right now between the job, the kids, life, etc. but I can't shut this site down. I just More About: Dirty , Secret
Target Debaucle
2008-03-25 01:42:00 So, I got into a little fender bender in the Target parking lot the other day. I backed into a car that was also backing out of their parking spot. He was further backed up than I was so I kinda thought it was mostly my fault but, to be honest, it was hard to know where he was when he started backing up. What I told the insurance agent was that I was out of the spot about 60% of the way and that
Hellooooo
2008-03-07 08:16:00 Just wanted to pop over here and say hi. Ever since I have gone back to work, I have had zero time to post anything over here. It is so sad. I started this blog with such excitement and now it is languishing. I actually have a really funny post to write about how Little Guy got stuck in the baby's exercaucer. I told him not go get in there and then did anyway and laughed at me in the face (like
Men Are Such Boobs - Part Deux
2008-02-25 09:00:00 While at the security desk again last week.... Me: I need to get a temporary badge today. Guard #1: OK, no problem. Guard #2: (comes up from behind me and starts hovering around) Me: (turning towards him) Guard #2: What's that?? (pointing to the black, non-descript breast pump case slung on my shoulder) Me: (looking down and realizing the bottom flap has come open exposing the pump) Oh, More About: Part
Men Are Such Boobs
2008-02-18 22:52:00 I went back to work this week and fortunately for me there is a great pumping room where I can pump breastmilk during the day so that I can continue exclusively breastfeeding the baby, even while I'm away from him. Unfortunately, I lacked the access code to get into the pumping room so I went up to the security desk to ask for help, where two male security guards were there to greet me. Me: Can
California in Winter
2008-02-11 23:05:00 (picture removed) We were wearing shorts today and playing outside with the hose. It was that warm. WTH? (Photo taken this afternoon. I swear.) More About: California , Winter
You Know It's Bad When....
2008-02-08 22:45:00 ...you're digging back (way back) into your pantry to find Halloween candy that you hid from your kid back in '07 and you're so, SO happy that you never threw it out because it's the only chocolate in your entire house and it is also the only thing saving you from going completely insane today. Mmmmm. Four-month-old bite-size snickers really aren't as bad as you would think. And neither are the
More Evidence Emerges About the Dangers of BPA Exposure to Humans. Pregnant
2008-02-07 17:56:00 *I want to get the word out as soon as possible about this important study but I have limited time to write something original today, so I have lifted most of this post directly from media releases about the study* Today, I participated in a media teleconference announcing the results of a new U.S. and Canadian study, "Baby's Toxic Bottle: Bisphenol A Leaching from Popular Baby Bottles". The More About: Evidence , Pregnant , Exposure , Humans
WTF???
2008-02-04 01:20:00 I cannot think of a more suitable title for this post. Just wait until you hear this. So, as I mentioned a little while ago, I was dismayed to find out recently that the prenatal vitamins I have been taking for the last three years contain artificial coloring in them. So I went to my local Natural Foods Co-Op to find a new brand. Now, before I go on, keep in mind that the Natural Foods Co-Op
In preparation for Valentine's Day, a post on love
2008-01-31 06:33:00 I found this wonderful book of bedtime blessings that I bought recently. Every night before I put Little Guy to bed, we read the first few blessings in the book. Tonight he was a little under the weather. He had a low-grade fever and a stuffy nose, but he still wanted to me to read him his blessings. "Mama, can we read the blessings?" "Sure we can, hon." I said and began the first one. Dear More About: Love , Post , Preparation
You Mess With My Sushi, You Mess With Me
2008-01-30 07:41:00 Want to find out what I'm so peeved about? Go check out my latest post at Moms Speak Up. More About: Sushi , Mess
Co-Sleeping Postscript
2008-01-28 23:09:00 Thank you all for your supportive comments on my last post. There was one comment questioning the safety of co-sleeping. I didn't intend to start a debate on it, but I personally feel that the manner in which families choose to sleep together is totally their own business. Also, I do not necessarily think that co-sleeping is dangerous, as long as some precautions are taken (like don't smoke in More About: Sleeping
Do Lead Testing Kits Work?
2007-12-06 22:02:00 Well, it depends on who you ask. Ask the Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC) and they'll say they're unreliable. Ask the Consumer Union and they'll say it depends on the brand. The CPSC tested two common types of home lead test kits and found that the kits registered false positives and false negatives. Therefore, the CPSC has said that "consumers should not use lead test kits to evaluate More About: Work , Testing , Kits , Lead
New Research Reveals Hidden Dangers In Formula Cans
2007-12-05 22:49:00 Please read this post if you or someone you know uses baby formula! This morning I participated in a conference call hosted by the Environmental Working Group (EWG) about their new report about the dangers of BPA exposure in formula-fed babies. You can read the full report for all the details, but here are some of the highlights: The Scary Stuff --Bisphenol A (BPA) is an industrial chemical. More About: Research , Formula , Hidden
This Is A Message From God. I Know It.
2007-12-04 21:55:00 I lost my wallet. With my ID, all of my credit cards, my Visa check card, and about 20 gift cards. See, I'm notorious for not using gift cards for like forever and now they're all gone. I had one to JCrew, one to Old Navy, one to the Mall, one to Starbucks...I would go on, but I don't want to cry. Fuck. I am so pissed. I have looked everywhere. In the cars, around the house, in my pockets. I've More About: Message , Mess
Oh Holy Night
2007-12-03 04:36:00 Tonight we hung up some of our Christmas decorations. After we put up the Nativity Scene, I picked Little Guy up so he could look at it. We took turns examining each figurine. I showed him Mary, Joseph and Baby Jesus. He took lots of interest in looking at the three wise men and the animals. Then, in a sweet voice, he asked, "Mama, can I talk to Baby Jesus?" "Sure," I said, and handed him the More About: Night , Holy
Little Guy's Daycare is Making Me Feel Like Crap
More articles from this author:2007-11-30 07:16:00 Today, we received the following letter from Little Guy's daycare teacher. I wanted to update you on Little Guy's week. This week Little Guy has had a difficult time following directions and completing routines and more often than not has needed a teacher's help to complete the direction/routine. Often Little Guy is looking right at a teacher and doing the opposite of what he has been told (for More About: Crap , Feel 1, 2, 3 |
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