Mommy off the RecordMommy off the RecordA humorous look at new motherhood by a new mom trying to figure it all out. Join me for a virtual margherita, and let’s talk about the stuff we might not bring up at our little one’s playgroup for fear that the other moms might look at us weird. 
Articles
Cartoons. They Ain't All That Bad.
2009-02-05 19:38:00 Little Guy (out of nowhere): Trust is something you can't put back together again.Me: What?Little Guy: Trust is something you can't put back together again.Me (thinking): Holy crap. He heard Husband and I arguing last night! Great. He's scarred for life.Me: Where did you hear that?Little Guy: On Bernstein Bears.Oh, Phewwww. This is just further proof that the Bernstein Bears are better parents More About: Cartoons
This is hard
2009-02-05 01:24:00 Being a parent is officially hard. What? It's not all going to be easy? It's not going to be baby book, Picture People perfect? But that's what I want. That's what I signed up for. I didn't sign up for the hard stuff. No, correction. I signed up for it. I just didn't realize what I signed up for. And now I don't know if I can do it. I mean, I CAN do some things. I can do midnight feedings and More About: Hard
Encopresis Yahoo Group
2009-01-26 17:12:00 I have started a Yahoo Group for parents of children with encopresis, children who hold their poop. I am posting here in hopes that people will find this post in Google searches and join up for advice-sharing and support. Here is the link to the group: Encopresis Kids Yahoo Group More About: Yahoo!
A conversation
2009-01-19 00:02:00 A conversation between me and my three-year-old earlier today. Him: Bitch and fuck are not kind words. Me: No they're not. Him: No, because we should never say bitch or fuck. Because they are not kind. Me: That's right. We should never use those words. Him: Yeah. *sigh* We have this conversation on a weekly basis. He gets his chance to say bitch and fuck and there is nothing I can do More About: Conversation
My Three Year Old Has a Shrink. God Help Me.
2008-12-11 17:48:00 Reading back upon the post that kind of started it all for this blog in which as a new first-time mother, I wrote (off the record) that "if my kids don't end up in therapy, I shall celebrate", I find it ironic (and yes, I'm 99% sure I'm using this word wrong, but whatever)....I find it ironic that my child is now actually entering therapy (WTF??) at the young age of THREE (holy crap). Yes, his More About: Year
Reason #467 That I Don't Eat at Kentucky Fried Chicken
2008-12-11 07:45:00 KFC Workers Fired For Bathing In Sink http://www.kcra.com/news/18243415/detail. html Finger lickin' gooood. More About: Chicken , Reason , Kentucky , Fried , Fried Chicken
Encopresis Support Groups
2008-11-22 10:51:00 Since my last post, I have found some support groups online for parents with children suffering from encopresis. Since there are already groups formed, I won't be forming one of my own. If you need to locate a group, this is the most active one I found, with multiple postings daily: http://au.messages.yahoo.com/lifestyle/te enagers/481?p=1 Also, search "encopresis" under Yahoo Groups and you More About: Support
Does Your Child Hold His/Her Poop?
2008-11-18 00:25:00 *warning: this post is going to mention poop. a lot.* I would like to start a Yahoo Group to talk with other parents who have children who withhold their poop, also known as stool withholding or functional fecal retention. E-mail me at mommy605(at)hotmail(dot)com if you want to be contacted about the group. What is Stool Withholding? Is your child chronically constipated? Does your child go for More About: Poop , Child , Hold
WTF - Republican Candidates Edition
2008-10-21 06:08:00 This may be old news, but somehow I just read about it today: PENSACOLA, FL. Asked for a reaction to the news that he'd been endorsed by reality-soap bad girl Heidi Montag of "The Hills," John McCain told Swampland: "I’m honored to have Heidi’s support and I want to assure her that I never miss an episode of 'The Hills,' especially since the new season started." Seriously? Seriously. That More About: Republican , Republican Candidates , Candidates , Edition
p.s.
2008-10-06 08:59:00 p.s. Did I say my son is beautiful? I love him to the ends of the earth. I will figure this out for him. I will.
So maybe I'm not crazy
2008-10-06 08:40:00 Me here. Still talking about poop. Thinking about poop. Poop is my life. You know, I've been searching the far reaches of the Internet for about two months now trying to figure out how to get my son to poop. Here are some of the things I've learned: 1. He's not pooping because he is afraid to poop (we know he has no physical problems). 2. High doses of Miralax or other laxatives may make it More About: Crazy
Let's Call the Whole Thing Off
2008-10-03 23:20:00 I can't take it anymore. I can't take it. I don't know what to do. This withholding. It's driving me crazy. my day is at least 6 clean-ups. bad days are 10. It's not about potty training. Potty training is the least of the problems. Daycare has labeled him special needs. Because he won't poop. He can poop. He just won't poop. They said, "Maybe this isn't the daycare for you." Maybe not More About: Call , Thing
Is Palin Qualified to Be VP?
2008-09-25 05:40:00 PBS is running a poll that asks if Palin is qualified to be VP. The Reps wing has organized a massive "yes" campaign and, at the moment, "yes" is winning! Do you think Palin is Qualified to Be VP? Considering that the Republican Machine won't even let the press have access to her or even use audio in their coverage of her recent "foreign policy meetings with diplomats," I'd say that the
On Raising Children Green
2008-09-16 07:00:00 Driving home from grocery shopping with my three-year-old yesterday.... Me: We're here! Little Guy: We're home! Me: Are you happy to be coming home? Little Guy: Yeah....but I wish I had a bigger home. I want a bigger home. Me: Why do you want a bigger home? Little Guy: So I can get more toys and more toys and more toys. And then I will have space to put them in. Where does he come up with More About: Children , Green
Think Before You Pink
2008-09-06 05:32:00 Received via e-mail from a PR firm in New York... Hi Mommy Off The Record, Did you know that a woman will be diagnosed with breast cancer by the time you finish reading this email? A woman is diagnosed with breast cancer every 2 minutes – you can help a woman in your life by sending her the facts about breast health and an important reminder to get a check-up. This October, Folgers will More About: Pink
Poop
2008-09-05 05:10:00 My life revolves around poop. Little Guy has some major pooping problems. Basically, he holds his poop and won't go. For so long I thought he was just constipated. We changed diet. We tried exercise. We did supplements. But now I know that none of that really matters all that much because if he wants to hold it, he's gonna hold it. So yeah, poop (or shall I say lack of poop) is really More About: Poop
Goodbye for Now
2008-08-11 22:31:00 I won't be posting here for a while. I am finding life a wee bit overwhelming and need to concentrate on family and getting myself to feel normal again. Unfortunately, that means letting go of some of the things I have loved in the past, like my little blog here. I am going to keep it up just in case I have time to come back and resume posting again someday. Oh - and one last thing - if you More About: Goodbye
Liar Liar Pants on Fire
2008-07-14 20:10:00 At only three years and 2 weeks old Little Guy is already lying to me.Case in point. This morning, I was in the bedroom with the baby and I heard Little Guy in the kitchen pantry. Whatever he was touching was crinkly so I suspected he was eating some veggie chips. At 9am. Before breakfast. Me: What are you doing in there?LG: (no response)Me: What are you doing, LG?LG: I'm in the bathroom More About: Pants , Fire , Liar
Help a Sista Out
2008-06-30 10:31:00 Poor Izzy has broken her foot in a freak accident. She's looking for someone who would like to buy her BlogHer pass at a discount (she's asking $200, which is about $100 off - a great deal). If you are interested, go here to her site and leave her a comment or send her an email. And even if you don't need the pass, go over and leave a comment to cheer her up if you have a sec. I'm sure she would
New Community Forum for Green Moms!
2008-06-17 07:55:00 Today we launched a new community forum for parents who are interested in green living - the Green Mom Finds Community Network. I am really excited about the opportunity to chat with people and make connections with folks. Check it out if you have a couple secs - and if you like it, join up! We're giving away a $100 organic cotton baby carrier to celebrate our launch. Just enter a comment on this More About: Forum , Moms
The Hazards of Ironing Naked
2008-06-16 09:00:00 Husband: I finally did it today. Me: Did what? Husband: I finally burned my dick with the iron. Ouch. It was difficult for me to refrain from saying "I told you so." But I told him so. Dudes should just not iron naked. They're totally playing with fire. Possible Odd News Story Headline: Desperate Father of Two Young Children Tries to Sterilize Himself After Wife Refuses to Go Back on the More About: Ironing
I'm Too Tired to Think of a Title for This Post. Maybe It's My Adrenal Fati
2008-06-10 07:07:00 Thank you kind folks who left me comments of support on my last post. Today was a slightly better day in that I didn't throw anything or scream. Progress. I think I have adrenal fatigue. At least that is what my holistic doctor thinks. I went to see her today. Actually, I was there for the baby's follow up appointment for his excema. She asks me questions about myself though and I told her that More About: Post , Title , Tired
How You Know You're Not Having a Good Weekend
2008-06-09 03:13:00 1. The suppository that you administered to your toddler didn't work. He never pooped. It's been 8 days. 2. You threw a 2-lb plastic laugh and learn toy at your husband. 3. You later threw a bowl of guacamole on the ground after you opened up three avocados and realized they weren't ripe enough yet. 4.You screamed your head off in the shower for 3 minutes. And then you cried. 5. Your other More About: Weekend , Good
Review: Personalized Photo Cards - tiny*prints
2008-06-06 09:07:00 If you're looking for a really special invitation or announcement that can be tailored with your children's picture, then look no further than tiny*prints. I had the opportunity to review their invitations as part of the Parent Bloggers Network recently and my biggest problem was trying to figure out which invitation to choose for my son's third birthday party. Continue reading... More About: Photo , Review , Tiny , Cards , Prints
Reason #56 Why TV Isn't That Bad After All
2008-05-27 03:04:00 Scene: Me and Little Guy on the floor with his toy train. Little Guy: Mommy, can you put my train together for me? Me: Sure! Five minutes later I'm still fidgeting with the goddamn thing. Little Guy: Gee, this is exasperating! Me: What did you say? Little Guy: This is exasperating! Me (to hubby in the other room): Did you hear what he just said??! He used the word exasperating in a More About: Reason
The Diet from Hell
2008-05-18 04:33:00 I don't think I've blogged about this before, but my baby has eczema. He's had it since he was 4 months old. He's now 9 months old and it hasn't gotten any better. It's all over his back, but no where else. It looks like a chemical burn or something. It's bright red, and alternately either really flaky or really raised and rough. Oh, and it's REALLY itchy. I feel so bad. We have taken him to the More About: Diet , Hell
I am SO behind the times
2008-05-15 09:21:00 I finally had a few minutes to get onto Twitter and find out what it's all about. And holy shit, people. It's like crack for bloggers. Crack. It should be illegal, I tell you. I already have 5 email accounts and 4 blogs. I don't have time for this! And yet...I feel it calling... Are you following me yet? :) More About: Times , The Times
Johnson & Johnson Marketing Toxic Baby Perfume?
2008-05-12 09:07:00 The other day my friend told me that she has a friend that puts perfume on her baby. My immediate thought was: WTF? I questioned her about it and found out that this woman does indeed put perfume on her infant. Cuz, you know, she wants to make her baby smell good. Why anyone would want to mask the wonderful natural baby smell by putting synthetic fragrances on a baby is beyond me. But my next More About: Marketing , Baby , Perfume , Johnson , Toxic
Not Just a Pretty Face: Please Read This Book
2008-05-09 07:17:00 If you read anything this year, this is the book you should read. A friend recommended that I read this so I bought it and I have to tell you that it is one of the most important books I have ever read. Please go read it, share it, blog about it. Tell everyone you can. The name of the book is Not Just a Pretty Face : The Ugly Side of the Beauty Industry. It can be purchased for just $11 on More About: Book , Read
Runnin' to the Border
More articles from this author:2008-05-04 10:01:00 (Warning: do not eat while reading today's post.) I'm just going to cut right to the chase and say it: Little Guy has been having some trouble pooping lately. Actually, he's been having a LOT of trouble for the last three months. Without going into the gory details, it has been really troublesome and we have been trying EVERYTHING - prunes, prune juice, liquids, cutting out the sugar and 1, 2, 3, 4 |
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