Sparks and Butterflies Sparks and Butterflies Caffeine from above ~ Coffee from below.... I'd sure like some dull! Articles
With Humility and Thanksgiving
2010-10-13 00:06:00 Dear “A. Friend,” I think I know who you are. But I won’t call you out – both because I’m not sure, and I don’t want to embarrass you by ruining your intended anonymity. Thank you. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. I’ve always wanted one of those foot scraper thingies. I love to read. The kids will dig the straws and Silly Bandz. And frankly? We have three days til payday with no money for food because one of my clients didn’t pay me on time. So that money you sent? Literally puts food in my kids’ mouths. It was completely unexpected, made me cry (the good kind), and say a prayer of thanks. And the chocolate won’t go to waste, let me assure you. My friend, today you helped me immeasurably. I’m grateful. I thank you. Love, Michele More About: Thanksgiving
Tens
2010-10-10 19:10:00 It’s 10/10/10 at 10:10am. 10:10:10:10:10 Yes I’m actually posting ahead so that this happens. It makes my little baby geek inside happy. If I could have gotten it to the second I would have been happier.
I’m just the mom
2010-10-08 01:31:00 If you’ve been arou d the block with me, you know that one of my kids is on medication for mental health issues. That medication is not a cure, but in his words, “it makes my head calm.” It makes it so he can concentrate easier, think more clearly, and allows him to pause and make choices. He has therapy twice a week plus psychiatric care since he’s on medication. We came to the medication decision after literally years of discussion, research, and prayer. He has a growing body and growing brain. We take his medication rather seriously. We expect others to do the same – especially his medical providers. Last week I ran out of meds. There weren’t any refills. I called the psychiatrist. I got his nurse. His voicemail etc goes through her since he has patients most of the time in his office. I told her the problem. “But I see here he has an appointment next week. ” “Well, yes he does. But he doesn’t have enough pills to mak...
I don’t have a point
2010-10-05 19:12:00 There was a perfect job I found and applied for. Yes, I’m building a business, but we’re struggling now. It was for a church, in the youth ministry, as the assistant to the department. I’ve been in administration for two decades, have professional experience in church and parachurch organizations, have a decade in motherhood, have children that age, and wouldn’t have to put my kids in child care. It was perfect. After a week, I called to follow up and was stonewalled by the receptionist. Tried to email but the listing was closed. It was like God closed the door that He opened. I don’t understand. And we’re still struggling. More About: Point
This is Why We Call Them Crazy
2010-10-04 19:51:00 Below the fold, you’ll find a video (if it hasn’t yet been pulled.) First things first: It is really bloody, really gory, disgusting, and should absolutely not be watched if children are in the room. I’m really not kidding about that – it’s very disturbing. This was a “funny” commercial in the UK. People were so disturbed by it that it’s been pulled off the air – but alas – it lives on in the internet. It’s about consequences for not reducing your carbon emissions – specifically the 10:10 project it’s advertising. It was supposed to be humor. I don’t see the humor. And I’ll probably be freaked out forever by the words, “No pressure.” This right here is why we say there’s an agenda. This right here is an example of some of our deep down fears. This right here is in your face. If you have any inkling of advertising, marketing, and publicity, you know this w... More About: Crazy , Call
Chuck Ward, 1962-2010
2010-09-15 17:38:00 I was a band geek. From 1989-1993 I was in color guard, winter guard, field band, parade band, concert band, and drum circuit. I started in color guard, however, I blew out my knees my freshman year, and from then on my participation was sporadically based on whether my knees could handle turns, jumps, and “jazz” runs. Through it all, Chuck was our coach. He smiled, laughed, yelled, got frustrated, but was always respectful, caring, and pushed us to do our best. He showed us how. My tribute at his obituary site: Chuck was my coach on and off for 4 years. He arrived for his first year at La Canada High School my freshman year. When I blew out my knees and could participate in Color Guard anymore, he was kind and caring. He pushed me when he felt I wasn’t giving my best. He was patient when I didn’t understand something. And when I faked a particular move for the *entire* season because I just didn’t get it – he didn’t say...
A Request
2009-12-07 21:28:00 My readers run the gamut. PR people read it, friends read it, online friends (read: we haven’t met in person yet) read it, strangers read it. I don’t think any family actually reads here, but I know some family know about it. I hold certain views, that I haven’t fully fleshed out here on the blog. But due to those views, I’m making some preparations around my household. I have a request of you all – my readers. Because much of our correspondence happens online, the resources that uses – at least on my end – consist of a computer, electricity/battery combo, dsl/wireless combo, blog platform usage, email usage, and comment and/or networking site usage. What if that all goes away? What if we lose the internet? What if we lose electricity? What if we lose the phones? Here’s where my request comes in… If you wish to stay connected to me, offline, please get me your contact information. How much info you give me is, ... More About: Request
Limbo of Life
2009-12-03 19:21:00 We’re in this completely strange state of limbo. Each day, I’m in limbo as I wait for jobs that come in through one of my clients. My son is in limbo as we wait for his potential school tour. His being home, without his brother, who’s at school, is weird. We’re in limbo as we send the resumes and tend to Poe’s joblessness. We’re in limbo as we have now lost our medical insurance. We had Cobra, on the government subsidy. The nine months allowed is up, and we cannot afford $777/mo on unemployment. Thus, we wait with prayer and bated breath that no one needs emergency medical attention. I feel like we’re in this bubble. Floating along, never landing. We just don’t know how far up we’ll be when the bubble bursts. More About: Life
Sunday and Beyond
2009-11-30 20:44:00 As time has gone by, and Thanksgiving prepared and served and celebrated… I don’t have the patience to update on the rest of the blow by blow. So here’s the general gist… On Sunday , I called and wanted an update on Joseph. He was doing great behaviorally, ate and slept, and was in general good spirits. That’s good. I asked if we were still on track for release that day at 2:25pm. The 72 hour hold time. No. Apparently he was on a tentative release date of Monday. Unacceptable. I asked for more information, but it wasn’t noted in the chart. She said that she’d get the doctor to call me. I waited on tinterhooks, but never got a call. I called again to see if I could pick him up. No, they would not release him. So I called again at 4pm, and went through the whole thing again. This time I talked to the charge nurse. He told me that no, he was not going to be released on Sunday, or Monday. He had been put on a...
Friday and Saturday
2009-11-25 23:55:00 As I work and try to prep for Thanksgiving at the same time… the events of those 5 days are getting farther from concrete memories to impressions. On Friday , Poe took care of Logan’s getting to school, and let me sleep in. I was up so late the night before, and the emotional toll was great. When I got up and had some coffee, I had my parents come over to the house so we could tell them the whole story of what had happened the day and night before. They had been out of town and started the trek back when we called them. They had gotten home about 6:30am. While we were talking to them, the hospital called. It was a doctor, but not the one on Joseph’s chart/identification bracelet. We went through Joseph’s mental history, medical history, school history, as well as familial medical and mental histories. I can do all that in my sleep. I made it clear, again, that we did not agree with his hold. She confirmed for me that his hold, should nothi... More About: Saturday
Thursday
2009-11-20 20:09:00 I’m going to try to explain what happened in small doses, because I am short on time, and because I’m short on spirit. For those who might not read regularly, Joseph has mental and emotional/behavioral issues, as well as specific learning disabilities. As a result, he is on medication to help regulate his emotional control (a very mild form, as we recognized the need, but needed to balance it with our genuine concern for long term effect data shortage.) He is on an IEP at school which includes special education, regular class, and counseling. He has outside mental health care as well. He’s been having serious trouble with another child at the school who has known him for years, and know all his buttons and triggers, and has no compunction in using this knowledge. The school is aware of everything – including this other child. On Thursday , we got a call around 1pm. The school was asking us to come down, as they couldn’t find Joseph, and felt th...
It’s not pretty around here
2009-11-18 22:48:00 I’m working on the entry about our son’s saga. Because it entails 5 days worth of hell, it’s going to take me a bit. But I need to get it out, and I also want it to refer to – before I forget certain details. I hesitated in posting anything at all. But Joseph’s issues are no stranger here. And frankly, this is my story. Our stories are completely intertwined at his age, and this is my place to journal what’s going on. To further the nightmare, I started creeping back into my online world to discover that a person I consider to be a friend had a stroke and is in the ICU. I’m not linking because this is about me, and not her – and I’d hate for her family to check her links and find this here whining. If I write a post about her in more specifics (family needs etc.) it will be all about her – THAT I’ll link her to. And finally, today is my first day back to client work. And a client rather abruptly canc... More About: Pretty
Living Nightmares
2009-11-16 04:38:00 I’m stuck in a living nightmare with one of my children. I’m not able to process it completely yet here. One – it’s not over yet, and I’m hoping to have a conclusion to the story tomorrow. Two – I’m in a limbo of thought and action… I can’t seem to accomplish anything. It’s sort of like all my thoughts are reserved for this situation. I’m not trying to be mysterious. It’s just a really long story, and I’ll need to tell it in a manner that goes down the timetable of what has happened. Here’s the really short version – while in the school’s care, my son made a really bad decision in which he could have been killed. Because of that, my son is in a mental institution against our will. Further to that, we were unable to get him out on time because the doctor can’t be bothered to work on the weekends. And due to that fact, my son was almost killed tonight by another m... More About: Living
A Reader question
2009-11-12 21:58:00 Prior to bumming out on Nablopomo, I asked if any readers had any questions I could answer here. Only one of you answered. Headless Mom asks: I’d be curious to know what denomination church you attend? And why have you chosen it? Is it different than the one you grew up in? What tips would you give to someone/a family searching for a new church home? Hmmm. Complicated. If I were attending a home church, which we’re not for a multitude of reasons, but if we were, our first choice would be Calvary Chapel. Not technically a denomination – but a Bible-believing church. I was saved at a Calvary Chapel for one – but I like their philosophy of Bible study. You’re not left to study on your own, and then come to church for topical applications… No, you study chapter by chapter, verse by verse, and then make topical applications to what you studied. There’s a difference. It seems to me that if you’re a Christian who believes tha... More About: Question , Reader
Major Oops
2009-11-09 20:02:00 So – I managed to completely forget about NaBloPoMo this weekend. That’s impressive. Does this mean I have failed? In other news, we have friends coming over for Monday Night Football. This is big news – since we don’t allow people into our cave-like existence. Still other news… I am matron of honor in a wedding in January. This is taking entirely more brainpower than I had anticipated. What? We eloped!
You Can’t Make This Stuff Up
2009-09-16 20:06:00 I could talk about how my school district wants to bus my kid out to another district ’cause they can’t handle him. Too frustrating, raw, and in flux. Could talk about Poe’s continued unemployment. But really? Haven’t you heard that one before? Could talk about certain theories about 2012, Israel peace treaties, 7 horses, and survival… But you’d think I was a true nutcase. Could tell you about how my father drunkdialed me last night. Instead, I’ll tell you this. I’m 34 years old and I’m going to be adopted. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I’m going to be legitimate. Back when I was 4, and Jeannette abandoned me, my parents couldn’t adopt me because of a combo of Jeannette saying no, and my mother’s health. All this time, I’ve been legally their great-niece. They (and I) treat me as, and consider me as their daughter. All the good and bad that entails. My children are their grandkids. They are, &ldquo... More About: Stuff , Make
The 10 month interlude has begun
2009-09-04 22:19:00 School has started. This is where I get 10 months of daytime solitude. You know… When Poe gets a job that is. School started two days late due to the Station Fire. The air quality around our little town is much better today – although this morning the smoke smell was still rich. But the sky is blue. It’s been a long time since we’ve seen blue. So far the fire is 150,000+ acres. The perimeter is 50 miles. About the size of Chicago. As of 9am this morning we were at 42% containment. They expect containment by 9/15. It is the largest Los Angeles County or Angeles National Forest fire ever in their histories. It is suspected arson. Homicide charges are also being investigated, due to the two firefighters, Captain Ted Hall and Fire Fighter Specialist Arnie Quinones, who lost their lives. While neither worked here anymore – both of them used to work in our town. So very sad. Despite the good news of higher humidity and the containment percent... More About: Month
Local Media Failed Me in the Station Fire
2009-08-30 18:13:00 For those that know me, a short personal update. We’re OK. My mother is holding her own in terms of the smoke, although it’s really really bad today and this might be the day that takes her to the hospital. We’re out of danger of embers now. We’ll have a massive cleanup of our property to undertake, but not only can we not work outside in these conditions, the fire’s been so unpredictable, I’m hesitating on doing the work until we know it’s out ashes are falling like snow again. I’ll know by 3pm if the school district will start school tomorrow as previously scheduled. Now. This fire is the Station Fire . It started above La Canada on Wednesday, around 3:30pm. That means that we’re into day 5 of this thing. In fact, the kid’s were in their pool on Wednesday, as I wasn’t sure if air quality from the Azuza fire would hamper it for the rest of the week. As we were sitting there a rather large helicopter buzzed u... More About: Media , Local
More information on the Station Fire
2009-08-29 03:56:00 Now I’m starting to be the eyes and ears of friends and family who are living away from our town, and their parents, etc. still live here. Here are photos I took on Thursday. Here are photos I took on Friday (today.) I’m going to hit up the hospital and drive a bit and get some more pictures before the sun goes down. Last I heard at 6pm from the chamber, we’re at 5% contained, and it was getting pretty close to Greenridge, although ground crews are standing by. Evacuations are still voluntary. More About: Information , Fire , Station
Break interupted by flames
2009-08-28 10:00:00 So – I’m on an internet break til the kids start school next week. Except that my area had a fire start yesterday, and now it’s kind of scary. So. Yes, we’re ok. Our home is safe. I’m not sure I can say the same for some friends and parents of friends, but they’re safe for now. It’s called the Station Fire. Anyway – here are some pics. I thought I would get this up now, ’cause we just lost our internet connection (I’m on my wireless laptop card now) and we could also lose power at any moment, we’ve been warned. My home is getting hit hard by ash. And it’s surreal. There’s ash, yes, but most of it is the size of my thumbnail, and a lot of them are leaves. You can see the veins and everything. Anyway – yes, we’re OK. Unless it starts getting windy and embers start to fly, or the the other mountain parallel goes up (that’s the one we’re by) we’re ok. Here are some pict... More About: Break
A Parenting Mistake?
2009-08-20 15:00:00 I have this little nightlight in the bathroom Poe gave me as a little Mother’s Day Gift. It’s a silver sun with a little blue drop crystal over the light. Pretty. Sparkly. Very me – hence the gift. I was cleaning up today, and noticed that the crystal was just sort of there – leaning on the light instead of hanging. I took it, figuring maybe a cat brushed too hard against it and broke the metal groove it hung on. It was sitting on the table and Logan saw it, he said, “I don’t want to be sneaky anymore. I know how that broke. Joseph did it.” In other words, we’ve been on him about being sneaky, and he figured he’d get brownie points by ratting out his brother. I called in Joseph and asked if he knew how it broke. Tears ensue, but he didn’t lie. He wanted to crystal for a necklace. He’s a bit of a horder and collector. Frankly, Logan’s room looks like a monastery room, whereas Joseph’s room look... More About: Parenting
State of Michele
2009-08-19 22:45:00 I really don’t have a lot of time to write in my OWN blog, as I have other commitments, school starting, my business, my father, and home renovations going on. I am hear though. I’m reading your blogs, I’m reading your tweets… I’m just not talking back right now. As for dad… They tried to take out his cancer locally, and they couldn’t. It’s too deep. They are going to put him under general and take out a portion of his arm. They’re trying to work out the OR schedule. I still don’t know what kind of cancer it is… And I think my parents are confused. So, I asked them to have the doctor PRINT it out for me. They don’t seem to care what kind – but I CARE. RESEARCH people! It’s good for you and keeps you from being taken, keeps you informed and involved in your own care rather than the therapy happening TO you. Luckilly they have a pushy daughter, and I will get to the bottom of it. They... More About: State , Michele
Elsewhere
2009-08-14 21:15:00 Quick update on my business elsewhere: Blissfully Domestic: A Word on the Bias You’ll Face Aiming Low: Not a bad mom… Just aiming low Butterviews: Rock of Ages (giveaway ends Sunday) & CookieKids Contest Needed to tell you before I completely forgot. Thanks, and please feel free to move about the cabin.
Quick Shout Out
2009-08-11 18:49:00 I completely thought that I published this – and just saw that it was a draft. I just published (or they just published me?) a post on Aiming Low. Heh. More About: Quick , Shout
Cancer Strikes
2009-08-11 18:45:00 A while ago, my father had a bad fall in his garage. He went to pick something up from the ground, and lost his balance and toppled. My father is a big man. 6′ and a good 250. And yes, he was a linebacker in high school. In trying to break his fall he dislocated his shoulder, cut his arm, and bashed his head. Cat scans and x-rays later, his shoulder was set, his head cleaned up, and his arm bandaged. It was more of a terrible scrap, so it couldn’t be stitched. He healed for the most part. Had to have some physical therapy for his shoulder. His arm healed for the most part. When his arm healed over, it had a bit of a bump. It looked like scar tissue. But then the bump grew. It was almost like the cut underneath was infected, so he played with it, but there was nothing in it. So he left it alone. The bump became larger and larger, and eventually, a middle sort of pitted and scabbed over. It was the size of a half dollar. A circle of scar tissue with a scab... More About: Cancer
House Renovation (or what i’ve been doing instead of writing)
2009-08-11 03:40:00 I’m having a hard time – you can tell. Just look at the tone of the last several months of posts! And I have really nothing to note except for the same. And since nothing has actually happened, I don’t write. And I don’t write. Because I get tired, too, of the same conversation. I realize it’s my journal, but man. A little variety would be great. No, really. I’ve run out of ways to say the same thing. The lack of writing has made me retreat a bit in the other online things of my life too. And in it’s place I’ve been doing some home renovations. Long needed… We’ve lived here 3 years now. Nothing too drastic. We don’t have the skills or money to do it ourselves, and we certainly don’t have the money to hire it out for the bigger stuff. So, we’re just doing what we can paint and such wise. And writing down the things that cost money, so that when our situation does turn around, we can prioriti... More About: House , Writing , Renovation
A Break?
2009-07-30 19:41:00 There’s got to be a break in here somewhere, right? We just found out from Poe’s friend that the grocery store job fell through. The one he’s terribly overqualified for, but he needs a job? Yeah, not hiring. That was sort of our ace in the hole. He could work nights and still look for a job in his actual career. Not gonna happen. Which means we’ve got nothing with 6 weeks to go on unemployment. There is another choice, which we’re fighting against tooth and nail. My closing my business and going to work full time while he stays home and manages the kids. This is not the right choice for us for a whole host of reasons. On the other hand, there’s no money left. And we’ve paid enough ahead to maybe have Cobra through September. And then – nothing. I don’t WANT to close my business. I don’t have a bunch of clients, but the ones I’ve had are very very happy with my work! I can do this!! I’m so frustrated. ... More About: Break
Internet, We Have to Talk
More articles from this author:2009-07-27 22:36:00 The Blogathon is over… I’m rested… And I’m ready to talk. I slept on this. Twice. I’m not sure how to word what I want to say, but I’ll make an attempt. Where were you? I couldn’t attend BlogHer this year due to our lack of financial resources. I was bummed about it because I wouldn’t get to see my friends. I was starting to feel really morose about it, and decided to do something good to offset the bad, because that helps my mental state. That’s why I decided to do Blogathon this year. I could do good, and have something to occupy my mind. I wrote about it on my blog, Facebook, Twitter, every social network I have, and emailed everyone I know (except for my husband’s family.) I reached out several times. Supposedly, this is my community. Had all the people that I’m friendly with, worked with, worked for, and are actual friends with given just one dollar each, I would have had a hell of a lot more money to... More About: Internet , Talk 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 |
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