Sparks and Butterflies Sparks and Butterflies Caffeine from above ~ Coffee from below.... I'd sure like some dull! 
Articles
Why the Snark?
2008-09-05 04:30:00 I’m sitting here at my computer with CNN Live. Cindy McCain just finished, the video has finished, John McCain is up next. I had thought I wouldn’t get involved politically on my blog… Twitter… Blogs… There’s something I’m seeing that I find disturbing. The venom. The absolute venom shot at people of a different party than you. Venom at the the candidates of a different party than you. Venom shot at families. Attack their stance on the issues that matter to you… Challenge that. I think that’s necessary as a citizen, and also an exercise in articulating your own beliefs for the next time you’re asked to expound on your beliefs. Attacking the hair? Attacking pronunciations of a spouse? Creating drinking games? Making fun of people? All the way down to the music? It’s not just in the Net either… I’m afraid to add a bumper sticker to my car. My car would be keyed in the par...
Political Question
2008-09-04 16:00:00 I have not mentioned who I am backing in the current Presidential election. I don’t think I have ever even shared my party affiliation. Do I? I know my views. Am I willing to be put up for potential slamming? Because lets face it - there will be slamming - there always is, you know? Do I put that button over in my sidebar? Do I argue about political headlines? These are not rhetorical questions… I would like to know your views. I’ve tended to stay away from major theological discussions and politics, because it’s my feeling that I have my views, you have your views. I’m not changing your mind, you’re not changing mine. Why argue? But with politics saturating every bit of our media (and in this case, good reason, a new potential leader of the country we reside in) staying silent seems… weak. I’m looking for a different word, but it escapes me. Cowardly maybe? But then - is opening myself up for the potential hatred... More About: Question , Political
Weird Haze
2008-09-04 00:36:00 I’m still in this weird haze. Decisions made and acted upon - but I’m still in limbo. I have no replacement yet, so I’m still at work. Even though I know I’m going. I hate limbo. I don’t write much when I feel I’m in limbo. It’s as though my brain shuts down, and I’m writing in a fog. I only do the absolutely necessary. The creative in me - even the need for back and forth discorse - fails me. I don’t write, read, or comment. I close myself off. I’m sure it’s some kind of defese mechanism. Some short bursts of news in no order of importance… The kids started school yesterday. Much excitement. Logan just realized that the other kids he went to school with moved on to 1st grade, while he didn’t. He took it well. We had prepared him, but I don’t think it hit him until that moment. Joseph is thrilled because in 3rd grade? You have binders! With dividers! And an AGENDA... More About: Weird , Haze
Bullets
2008-08-28 23:03:00 The bad things that come when you decide you’re going to do somthing God wants you to do: Your husband loses his mind and buys unneeded game items. Your husband’s car loses it’s alternator. Still waiting to find out the cost on that one. Your potentional replacement employee (you know… The one that’ll let you get out of your notice earlier?) is in a major accident, totalling his car and sustaining head trauma. Thank God his daughter wasn’t in the car at the time. Your parents see all of this and think you’re DOOMED DOOMED DOOMED, and absolutely crazy to try it. And then I come home at night and know that I’ve got nothing left to give my children. So - I will not be defeated. I’m coming home. More About: Bullets
Gazundheit
2008-08-25 18:06:00 A very indignant Logan marches into the office. Logan: Joseph blessyou’d all over me! Me: What? Logan: JOSEPH BLESSYOU’D ALL OVER ME! Me: You mean he sneezed on you? Logan: That’s what I said! Poe: It happens.
Reason for the Quiet
2008-08-23 00:00:00 I know I’ve been quiet. Very very quiet. Why? I’ve been thinking. Debating. Arguing. Arguing with God. More debating. More thinking. It’s no secret that I want to come home, that I think my calling is in the home, and that I’ve really had a hard time not being able to fulfill what I think I should be doing. Today? I quit my job. Actually, I put in notice - my last day will be late November. My hopes are that we’ll be able to train someone to replace me in that time (the wheels of HR move very slowly.) I’m exhilarated and terrified and my head is pounding and I’m nervous, scared, anxious, what if… what if… what if… but know… The deep down know… that I’m doing what’s right for me and my family. I’ve told my boss. HR has been contacted. I will be doing freelance projects and stuff. From home (HA!), which will hopefully gear up in earnest in January. Wow. But th... More About: Reason , Quiet
All is Right with the World
2008-08-11 15:26:00 My husband is home. He spent this weekend on open ocean deep sea fishing with some friends at work and their family. The quid pro quo of BlogHer. We each got a trip - we don’t travel, funds low and the like, and we both really needed the treats. He just got home, this morning, unexpectedly, as the waters were too choppy to stay out. Suddenly, the axis shifted, and all was right in my world again. We’re always together other than work. He truly is my best friend, and we’re both a bit antisocial and homebodies. But this weekend, I had to do the “man” stuff. I had to take out the trash (his job.) Fine, I handled that. But he’s also the bug man. I had to clear ant manifestations in 4 rooms. I swear we were under attack, I think they’re looking for water. And then a gnarly looking spider that tried to get Joseph while he was peeing. Chunky, black, with a yellow stripe down it’s back. And I played WoW, without him n... More About: World , The World
Broken
2008-08-08 01:42:00 I was catching up on my feeds, and came upon an entry by Dooce. In it, she introduces a news story about a feral child. A feral child due to neglect… awful, awful, basic neglect. 7 years old and couldn’t speak. Roach bites. Only could suck a bottle. Diapers, just stacked around. Mattress on the floor. Covered in insects, mites, lice, and the like. I read the whole article: The Girl in the Window. Then I saw the videos/pictures/interviews. It has effected me. Deeply. I hurt for this little girl so very much. I had to go to the restroom at work because I was crying. A child not knowing that a hug is comfort? A 7 year old, without a medical issue (other than neglect) who sucks from a bottle and doesn’t know how to chew food? One who doesn’t cry or flinch in pain for IV’s? How much pain has this child had? There’s nothing I can do. The child has adoptive parents now who are doing everything possible for her. But ... More About: Broken
PMS?
2008-08-05 18:24:00 First off, thank you so much for your - er - nippular recommendations… Much appreciated, and I’m going to try some of the bras mentioned. No bandaids though - sensitive skin and I react to adhesive. There’s a joke in there somewhere. On to another topic altogether. I have PMS. This is no surprise to anyone that knows me. However, I’m finding that over time (years, really) it’s getting really bad. Now I have the standard crazy behavior, and it’s to the point where I have to make sure I’m not making Life Choices during that time, ’cause it really could just be the hormones. But I’m also finding there to be a lot of anxiety during that point in time as well. Morbid thoughts - plannings of funerals - etc. Not like suicidal or homicidal, more like, what if? What would I do if? It usually only happens in the quiet. I’m only in the quiet in my car to and from work, and then in bed going to sleep, so that&r...
Me too
2008-08-01 21:14:00 The world seems to be crashing down around our ears. Kristen says it so much better than I. Go take a look. I’m in. Are you?
I felt the earth move
2008-07-30 02:25:00 This is for my out of town friends who use the site to keep up with me, Poe, and the boys. Yes, I felt the earthquake - on the phone ordering lunch on hold at the time. Dude comes back on the line, “And what would you like?” Me, “You guys okay over there?” “Oh yes, it was just a particularly long order.” Me, “I kind of meant the earth moving, but ok.” All are well, accounted for, and just some broken stuff at home. The boys would like it to happen again, but alas, that was out of PaPa’s jurisdiction. And for posterity’s sake: 5.4 (originally thought to be 5.8) - Kid’s first quake, which they thought was the effing bomb. More About: Earth , Felt , Move
More than you ever wanted to know
2008-07-29 20:19:00 OK. So - men? You can leave now. Just us ladies? I’ve got a little problem and I need help from you. You see, I have this, well, nipple issue in my clothes. As in the highbeams are ALWAYS on. Today in the restroom, my shirt was folded up while I fastened my pants and I caught a glimpse in the mirror. Mind you I’m wearing a tank top under my shirt. Plus bra. Which means, while folded up over itself, I had 6 layers over them, and still Major Highbeams. WHAT DO I DO? I just manage to cross my arms over my chest most of the time. Is there a special kind of bra? Is that what a padded bra is for? I had never bought a padded bra before, as I have B+ cups, so I’ve never gone for more so to speak. HELP ME. This is embarrassing. I mean - after kids, I don’t need an actual ARROW pointing south, you know? More About: Wanted
Last of the BlogHer Posts… Promise
2008-07-28 18:36:00 ‘m feeling a bit blocked in writing lately. So, here’s the final roundup of my thoughts and doings and pictures from BlogHer… And then I think I’m done and moving on. ~ On Saturday, I finally got to meet Dooce. I almost didn’t. I walked by her, all the way to my tower elevator. I stopped, turned around, told myself I was an idiot, and went up to her. I introduced myself. We chatted about how long we’d been writing, and what it had been like prior to the tools we have today. And I thanked her. You see, whether you like her writing or not, the woman has blogged her way through harsh stuff. She kept writing through it. And so I thanked her, because sometimes I wanted to stop writing because the simple fact was it was painful. So painful. She encouraged me to never stop writing. As it took all my guts to go up to her, I didn’t take a picture. But I’m so glad to have met her. ~ I was expecting cliquish stuff a... More About: Posts , Promise
Stories from BlogHer08
2008-07-24 15:07:00 As I mentioned in my disclaimer, I smoke. Which means I go outside, yes? Homeless people have been asking me for money. And when I say that, I mean every.single.time. 3-4 a time. I don’t have it to give to them - so I would simply smile, say I’m sorry I don’t have any, and watch them move on. Some more pissed at me than others. One even trapped me in a corner, but I didn’t give up my space, so he eventually moved on. I decided early on I was a magnet. My BlogHer08 badge screamed tourist, I suppose (not to mention I was hanging out around a hotel.) Schmutzie came out with me. I don’t think she believed me, as we were on the other side of the hotel this time, and she hadn’t had any problems with it at all. Until 3-4 came up to us while she was with me. Told you - I’m magnet. More About: Stories
Mothering fail
2008-07-21 13:58:00 I’m home with the kids today - took an extra day off so I wouldn’t have to go right to work. Kids are outside. I see my oldest… Riding his bike, with no training wheels. Well. I’m a failure as a mother. My oldest can ride a two-wheeler. Nobody thought that I would like to know. This is what I miss coming home at 7pm every night. More About: Mothering
Hey! A Picture!
2008-07-21 11:44:00 If you wanna see a picture of me - go here. Schmutzie took it. More About: Picture
Checking in After BlogHer08
2008-07-21 09:32:00 I’m safely home, and exhausted. I have many stories to tell, but want pictures with them. Which are in the back of my husband’s car, and he’s at work. “Don’t worry, baby, I’ll get all your stuff out before I go.” So - gee darn - laundry has to wait, and bills, and driving (my wallet’s in there too.) But no pictures either.
Thursday
2008-07-19 13:15:00 It’s Friday morning… and it’s currently 6:23, so I’m not entirely coherent. I’m not going to give a blow by blow of the sessions themselves, but everything else, I want to record my thoughts on. No pictures, ’cause, well, I haven’t brought out my camera yet. Last night I went to the newbie mixer. I had a drink, and met two lovely ladies in line, Kelly and Jennifer. Unfortunately it was really loud, and we didn’t exchange cards, so I never caught their blogs to link them. While I saw Mocha Mama… I didn’t have the balls to talk to her. I was supposed to meetup with GeekMommy, and I kind of know what she looks like, but when scanning I couldn’t find her. I quickly grew overwhelmed with the loudness and the people I didn’t know, so I left and headed up to the People’s Party. When I got there, I got myself some swag, and got myself another drink. I was on a mission to meet Megan. I’m a reader of... More About: Thursday
People Watching
2008-07-17 18:06:00 I’m sitting at the airport, waiting for boarding. Next to me is a man with a braid, and real birkenstocks. I had forgotten about those. I recently saw a gentleman get off a plane who looked exactly like he came out of an 80’s hair band. Long hair, black clothes. He walked with a limp, and had the COOLEST silver tipped cane. Tired travelers. Tired kids. Parents dragging. I have to say though, this is the best, quickest time I’ve ever had. I was the only one in check in, baggage check, and security, so went right through. I love the Burbank Airport, I sincerely do. I wish I could always fly out of here. More About: People , Watching , People watching
My Pain in the Neck
2008-07-16 14:40:00 The evidence that Logan, is indeed, a pain in the neck. I took this yesterday morning, while it was still dark. The flash didn’t make him even stir. That, right there, is MY side of the bed. The pillow on the floor to the side is mine. It goes, you know, where his feet are. Clearly, at some point, this was preferable to his own bed. More About: Pain , Neck
Want to Reach Me?
2008-07-15 14:20:00 If you are going to BlogHer, and want to meetup at some point - or at least just meet - send me an email at sparksfley at gmail dot com. We’ll exchange numbers. And here’s just a roundup of the places you can see my updates while I’m at the conference. I do, indeed, plan on taking my laptop - but I’ve never taken my laptop outside of the house (Betsy is a virgin) so, we’ll see how this goes: Here of course Flickr Twitter email - sparksfley at gmail dot com I have various other addresses and social addictions - but those above are the ones I’ll probably be using. More About: Reach
Change.
2008-07-15 09:29:00 I hate it. Change . I’m terrible at it. At the same time, if a decision is made, I want it done. I don’t want little steps. I don’t want the transition. I just want it done. I’m lucky. I have this man, Poe, my husband… When I say I want to do something he always backs me up 100%. I know a lot of people don’t have that. But I also know that now is not the right time. I don’t have the necessary steps in place. To make the changes now would be incredibly immature, just because I want it done. Sucks to be a grownup. I feel as though I’m on this huge precipice. All around me is sky and horizon. All I have to do is jump. But I have to wait for the sign - the sign that says, “Now. Now you jump.” I just hope that I recognize the voice.
The Heavy
2008-07-10 10:49:00 I don’t really want to go all heavy right now, with BlogHer prep and anticipation at it’s peak. ‘Cause it is for me too! I’m excited, and anxious, and anticipatory - and quite frankly need to get away. But. But. I’m waiting. You see, in a few days we’ll find out what, if anything, is causing my mother to jerk uncontrollably. She had two tests, a cat scan/MRI, and an EEG. We’re waiting on those results. In the first, the tech asked her, while he was scanning her, “And does your doctor think you have a brain tumor?” And during the EEG, “I don’t like the looks of this.” And so we wait. I’ve talked to Poe. Whatever the results are, I’m going to BlogHer. Good? Great I’ll get the break I need. Bad? I’ll need the last harrah for myself. I realize it seems morbid. But when you’re part of the sandwich generation - you have to think morbid. My mother has almost d... More About: Heavy
Disclaimers are Powerful Tools
2008-07-09 13:23:00 So - I wrote a post, my BlogHer Disclaimer, telling you all about my “quirks.” So far, it’s my most popular post to date. I have never gotten so many comments on one post before. I don’t know if you all found me somewhere - not seeing a new link, nor am I seeing my post as featured on BlogHer - let me know? But, what’s happened is, people are posting their OWN disclaimers - and I just think that’s so cool. So I thought I’d point you back there, and tell you to read the comments. More About: Tools
BlogHer Prep
2008-07-08 14:32:00 OK… The preparations are underway. I’ve mentioned a haircut, and mani pedi. I bought a dress just in case I want to dress up for a party. I’ve got business cards. I’ve exchanged numbers with someone I might babysit for so she can actually speak in her panel (YAY Squoosh baby!) I still have to decide which panels I’ll actually be attending. And finally… If you want to meet up, meet me, etc… Please email me at sparksfley at gmail dot com so we can exchange cells. More About: Prep
The Block
2008-07-07 22:23:00 I have writer’s block. There. I said it. Nothing dramatic. I just can’t think of a thing to say. Prep is underway for BlogHer. There will be a haircut involved, and a manicure and pedicure - since I can’t seem to do those things without an excuse. Children are being raised, parents coddled, marriages stroked. And just… Life. Nothing to write home about. Heh. And I’m drained. Procrastinating on things that should be taken care of - I just pretend aren’t there. Perhaps an unintentional summer break? I don’t know. All I know is, I’m quiet right now. More About: Block
BlogHer Disclaimer
2008-07-01 13:28:00 So I’m going to BlogHer ‘08 (woot and yay!) in two - TWO - weeks. I have never met a blogger in person before. I’m especially nervous about this. I’m anxious about the social thing. (what if no one likes me waaaaah) So, figured the best way to attack this was to list my flaws so you won’t be shocked or surprised. heh. You probably wouldn’t have been anyway. But this is my way of attacking my anxiety head on. Here I am, take me or leave me, with all my flaws. If I’m drinking, I talk. If I’m nervous, I talk. Drinking and nervous? Oh dear. Also - when I’m nervous I start talking louder and louder. The problem is - I was (literally) dropped on my head too many times as a child and it effected my hearing. I actually cannot hear myself talk. So, while I may be talking louder, I still can’t hear a difference in my head. If I’m passionate or excited about something, I start repeating myself. I’... More About: Disclaimer
Toes are Useless
2008-06-27 19:22:00 I know I said I had a BlogHer disclaimer coming… Instead I’m going to tell you about my morning. ‘Cause where else am I going to complain? We’ve been having issues the last week with our water heater. As in it deciding not to heat water whenever it wants to. It’s a game now! Ohhhh Hot Water! Nope never mind. Add showers, baths, dishes, and laundry - and the points that the heater is making in this game is just nuts! So - Poe informed me this morning that there was no hot water, so I would need to shower at my parents house. Ugh. I love them, but somewhere along the line they turned into older folks, and they have lots of stuff. Everywhere. In the shower, out of the shower, on every surface. Anyway - I’m in the shower shampooing my hair, soapy and all that, and I bumped into something and it flew off the wall and onto the 4th toe of my left foot. My parents were still sleeping and so I did a very soapy silent scream. And that... More About: Useless
New Game in Town
More articles from this author:2008-06-27 13:27:00 First - while I went off the deep end a tad bit, my attitude is improved. Nothing’s changed, mind you, but my attitude has improved. Second - You still have until Monday night to get a free $50 to start your own SmartyPig account! Third - I’ve decided to turn my social anxiety in a post just for you. Look for my BlogHer 2008 disclaimer, coming soon, and find out about all my foibles and idiosyncrasies ahead of time. And finally Fourth - I have a new gig. You’ve probably seen it around the blogs lately, and for good reason. You’re looking at an editor at Blog Nosh Magazine. Megan Jordan had this crazy idea - and has taken it to great heights. What is Blog Nosh Magazine? We are an online magazine featuring the best archived content from primarily personal blogs, spotlighting a cross-section of topics and perspectives. New posts daily. For bloggers, if it has fallen off of your front page and you know it deserves more time and exposure, we are your ideal r... More About: Game , Town 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 |
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