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Opposites Attract?
2007-10-20 04:09:00
I could write a whole book about my parents and my relationship with them. Actually, I could write three or four books. One about my dad, one about my mom, one about them, and one about them and me. At least. That doesn't even count my two brothers and one sister, and how they fit into this family picture. But for now, I will try to condense just a little bit of the essence of my relationships with my parents into this small space.First of all, there was love. Before I say anything else, I will state unequivocably that my parents loved me, and I loved them. They are both gone now, my dad from pancreatic cancer in 1990, and my mom just last July (2006), her body and spirit just flat worn out with the ravages of type 2 diabetes. I miss them both every day, but also continually feel their presence in my life. How such two totally different people ever got together--and stayed together--continues to be a mystery to me. I suppose you can attribute it to the 50's, to small town life, to...
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No More
2007-10-19 17:58:00
© 2003 Sandra Jean-PierreIt was like it always is: seething agony touched with desire. The faces changed or the perfume was familiar, besides that, it was the same. Except this time, this time there was no giving in, not really. Not until it was the right time or the right place, if ever the right person.Ashes fell in swirls, covering her eyelashes in gray soot and I kissed them, transferring darkish splotches on my lips. She only laughs like she does and I am taken. The soot is gritty between my teeth but I am slow to grind it further into dust, now mud as it mixes with my saliva." Carolyn... Carolyn..."" Yes, I am sorry. "And I give her my far away look; the one that always makes her ask me where have I been and all I can tell her is no where. But all she ever manages to do is come closer and kiss my lips, like kissing me is going to make it all go away.I stir the beans on the side range and turn the ribs over on the grill. I wait until she goes to see about the desert before I sq...

Introducing "Queer Love"
2007-10-16 18:42:00
Speaking of letters...I would like to introduce you all to a new blog that a friend of mine has started. It's a submission based blog, much like TLL, but she is looking for love letters. Here's a bit from her first post.There is nothing more intimate or soul exposing than a love letter. For many, the written word is the best way to express their true feelings. It is the way by which we open ourselves up to the one person in the world we care the most about. It seems that the "love letter? is a dying breed by postal mail standards. Modern technology has given us email, cell phones, and the like that have gladly replaced the need for pen to paper. This blog is not taking a stand towards the downfall of technology. It is working to bring the love letter back through it!Queer Love was created to share love letters, written by queer people, with the world. It?s mission is to share the love and show others just how ?undifferent? our love, as gay individuals, truly is. Did he leave you a...

An apology
2007-10-16 04:20:00
My relationship with my parents has had its good moments and its bad ones. This is a work in progress...a letter to my dad. I doubt it'll ever get sent to him because he won't understand it. Here's hoping someone does...Dad,I hate it when we argue. I didn't write this to hurt you or to make you feel guilty. I'm writing it to try to help you understand how I feel. Please listen. Please try to see where I'm coming from.I love you with all my heart. I love you unconditionally. Every night I pray that you could love me half as much. I used to think you hung the moon. You were my Superman...my "big daddy." No one has shown me the kindness and love that you showed me when you adopted me and chose to be my dad. Not many kids get to say that. 14 years later you tore my whole world apart the day you decided you didn't want a family and left. I didn't understand then and now, 6 years later, I still don't understand. I'm still mad at you. I'm 23 and it still hurts just as bad as it ...
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Telling
2007-10-15 18:53:00
© 2007 Sandra Jean-PierreWhitish-grey smoke curled around the tar-black shards of wood. The heat was just beginning to cool enough to allow anyone near the rubble. She squat down near the seething mass. Maybe trying to inhale the last living bits of what was, maybe trying to make sure it was all done. Being there in either case.It was then that she knew it was time for her to give up Voice. For what would it serve now? The people around busied themselves, tamping out flare ups, dousing drenched mounds of smoking burn, anything to keep from looking at her. Maybe they were afraid of looking into her eyes, of asking what would be next because they didn't know, they couldn't imagine what she would say or think. She caught someone's eye - they looked down. She said nothing. Reaching her hand into a cooled pile, she brushed aside the soot, ash, debris. Beneath, a char-edged picture lingered; bright gap-tooth smiles emerged: an impromptu picture of when they all moved into the house. Br...

The Highway
2007-10-14 08:51:00
This sunlight that has chased me since I stepped out into it this afternoon is warming my face as I drift into dreams. It?s a constant I can feel as I am whisked down the highway. In the background, I can hear Bob Marley whaling out his earthly tones and tunes. The slight burning I can feel on my right cheek is so welcome. It is May and it has been a long winter. This warmth is reassuring to me.The window is open part way and as we drive further west, the air which is slightly cool begins to change. Everything is good when you are lightly snoozing through these transitions. I awake gently as the car slows. We are leaving the main highway and entering a two-lane road. Even though I am not sleeping I keep my eyes closed now, hoping for the sleep to return, but it does not. Soon, and by slow degrees I open my eyes. We have just passed a garden centre and just after that turn left onto a familiar road, which is also a highway. This area, which had been farmland exclusively until very re...
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National Coming Out Day
2007-10-12 19:40:00
Grab a cocktail, this is a long one! When I was growing up in a small city in Iowa, I knew I was different. It was indefinable, because no one ever said the word ?Gay? or ?Lesbian? and no one I knew was gay, or at least that?s what I thought then. I didn?t know what ?it? was or what it meant. I struggled through my various phases of adolescence and experimentation and came out on the side of ?normal;? a normal that was never really who I was. Things were different then?and even more different for the generations of Gays and Lesbians who had their own struggles before mine. One day, I knew in my heart of hearts if I didn?t come out, I would surely explode into a million pieces. Every facet of my life was crumbling around me because of my own fears of being who I was. The process was painful. Painful for me and painful for some of the people in my life whose range of reactions was anything from: I was duplicitous and my entire life to that point had been som...
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Happy National Coming Out Day 2007
2007-10-11 16:47:00
It's been 11 years for me since coming out to my family and friends. 11 years sounds like a long time, but I can still remember what it felt like to hide. I still remember the frustration I had in high school when I couldn't hold my girlfriend's hand walking down the hall. The worst part was how alone I felt when she left me. In honor of National Coming Out Day I thought I would share a few links of interest. Feel free to share some of your own in comments. National Coming Out Dat WikiWatch HRC?s Coming Out Day Video on YouTubeAbout.com's: National Coming Out DayT.R. Knight Records National Coming Out Day Message
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Admire is not a strong enough a word...
2007-10-10 16:41:00
As soon as I read what this month?s topic was I immediately thought of my step-mother JoJo and why I admire her. On February 8, 2007, at age 51, she lost her 6 year battle with breast cancer. To say that event changed so many lives would be an understatement.When I was 3 years old my parents divorced. They we probably headed for a split from the beginning. They were 17 when they got married and didn?t really know each other the way a couple should when they make that life time commitment. After 10 years of marriage my father had an affair. My mother had him followed by a PI and found out that way.My Dad stayed with his mistress (JoJo) for the next 25 years. It took me until I became pregnant (at 19) to even allow myself to get close to her. JoJo never treated me any different then her daughter, who at the time she met my Dad was about 7 (and is now one of my best friends). I put my Dad and JoJo through so much. I guess I was just acting out at the time. No matter what I did ...
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Aging and Gay, and Facing Prejudice in Twilight
2007-10-09 15:05:00
I found this to be a very interesting article via The New York Times. Please feel free to comment your thoughts, post, or email them to me to post on TLL.Even now, at 81 and with her memory beginning to fade, Gloria Donadello recalls her painful brush with bigotry at an assisted-living center in Santa Fe, N.M. Sitting with those she considered friends, ?people were laughing and making certain kinds of comments, and I told them, ?Please don?t do that, because I?m gay.??The result of her outspokenness, Ms. Donadello said, was swift and merciless. ?Everyone looked horrified,? she said. No longer included in conversation or welcome at meals, she plunged into depression. Medication did not help. With her emotional health deteriorating, Ms. Donadello moved into an adult community nearby that caters to gay men and lesbians.?I felt like I was a pariah,? she said, settled in her new home. ?For me, it was a choice between life and death.?Elderly gay people like Ms. Donadello, living in nursin...
More About: Aging , Prejudice , Twilight , Facing

The Sleeping Giant
2007-10-07 05:42:00
The sleeping giant had been slumbering for such a time that when she awoke there was much to see and do. It had been so long since her senses were alive that everything seemed new and fresh and the flowers were so fragrant, that she inhaled greedily of this. She took great gulps of the air and blinked into the dawning new day. Slowly she arose, yawning and stretching.The sleeping spell she had been under could still be felt deep in the muscle tissue that surrounded her strong frame. She clamored about the forest seeking a clearing and while she was looking around, she found a pool of water that shimmered in the new daylight and she gasped at its beauty. Never before had she seen such a sight.As she drew nearer to it, she heard the gentle current breaking over the sharp rocks and could smell the way the earth was damper in this area. It was so beautiful to the giant that she wished not to destroy anything around it and she stepped carefully over the trees. She was thirsty from sleepi...
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Someone I admire
2007-10-04 22:45:00
Instead of citing once more why I admire the Dalai Lama I think I will say why I admire my friend Petra.I know her since 20 years. Before starting university I took a one year course in foreign language correspondence ? a language focused secretary training basically that my Mum insisted upon before I started studying literature - not exactly a subject that promises a job afterwards?So I went. An all girls class. Sounds nice? I can assure you in reality it was not at all what one might imagine. Anyway. I came to sit next to a plump blonde with glasses. We started talking casually immediately, but nothing special. Then, a few hours into the first day, our Spanish teacher, Senor Gonzalez, started cracking jokes, clearly enjoying his all-female audience. Petra started laughing ? and didn?t stop for about 10 minutes. In the end everybody was laughing just because she was.This is how I got to know her: a truly devastating sense of humour, a laughter like a 9.5 Richter earthquake. Always...
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Guest Post From: Margo Moon
2007-09-21 15:54:00
Would you call it kismet? Synchronicity? Weird as all get out? I call it all three. Since Starr Ann is sleeping late this morning, I thought I'd talk about how I ended up stranded on a deserted island with the three things I would have chosen to bring if I were going to get stranded on a deserted island and with a person way up there on my list of women to get stranded with.It started early this summer when my friend Lori, from Hahn at Home, won a free Olivia cruise. Well, Lori needed to be at home, as her blog?s name implies, so she gave her cruise to me. God, I love cyber friends.Everything happened in such a whirlwind, that right up to boarding time I still didn?t know where the ship was headed or who the celebrity entertainment was. Still don?t know our intended destination, but I lucked out regarding the celebrity. It was the delectable Tina Fey. Yeah, I know she?s married. But still.The last tiny speck of land had disappeared on the rear horizon at least a day before the i...
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A summer story or how girlfriend developed the "is the door locked ?" traum
2007-09-14 21:22:00
As autumn already strikes in the north of Germany let me share one of my favorite summer stories. In June 2005 girlfriend and I went on holidays to Agistri. A tiny Greek island, just about one hour by boat from Athens. This tiny island had its 15 minutes of fame when in 2003 a wanted Greek terrorist surrendered himself after three months' hiding on the island. My personal opinion is that probably he was just bored stiff and his hideaway close to a muddy lagoon smelled hideously.What made Agistri (means "hook" in Greek) a perfect holiday resort for us was the total absence of sights to see. We found a cute, cheap hotel and gave in to total relax. One day we rented a Vespa took a look at the smelly lagoon and one day we made a boat trip to the neighboring island of Aegina to visit the shrine of Saint Nectarios.At that time girlfriend and I were still conductiong a nerve-wrecking long-distance relationship (me: Germany, she: Greece) and saw each other only every three months for a few...
More About: Story , Summer , Girlfriend , Locked , Door

GUEST POST: From Deborah
2007-09-14 02:44:00
If I were stranded on a deserted island?what three things would I bring and what one person would I want there with me and why? I'm taking the liberty in presuming that I wouldn't be stranded forever (in reruns) ala Gilligan and the crew. That said I would like to have: first, a photo of my son and daughter. Looking at them never fails to bring a smile to my face, warmth to my soul. Secondly I'd like a musical instrument. A piano would be fantastic but I wouldn't want one of those tinny sounding kiddie units or one of those electronic keyboards. Batteries, even if I had an endless supply, do not appeal. I wouldn't want to be compelled to think about storage solutions. So, I think a guitar would fit the bill nicely. And finally a very large music book would be in order as I would want to learn to play actual songs. The person I would have with me, my girlfriend. She's the one person I'd want to explore other ways to spend time with once we were spent reminiscing or st...
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Sharon Underwood?s letter
2007-09-13 18:25:00
Once again I have come across something online that many of you may or may not have seen before. I would like to republish it here because I think it conveys a message with the grace and dignity that we all wish we possessed at one time or another. Words like this should be shared over and over again.This editorial is from Sunday's Concord Monitor. Sunday, April 30, 2000By SHARON UNDERWOODAs the mother of a gay son, I've seen firsthand how cruel and misguided people can be. Many letters have been sent to the Valley News concerning the homosexual menace in Vermont. I am the mother of a gay son and I've taken enough from you good people. I'm tired of your foolish rhetoric about the "homosexual agenda" and your allegations that accepting homosexuality is the same thing as advocating sex with children. You are cruel and ignorant. You have been robbing me of the joys of motherhood ever since my children were tiny.My firstborn son started suffering at the hands of the moral little thu...
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Wave the Magic Wand
2007-09-12 04:28:00
I was chatting with my pals Margo Moon and Ask A Lesbian and suddenly, I felt the urge to thank those responsible for relief of all the tension in my life as full time mom, full time wage slave, and part time blogger. They agreed, it needed to be said.Etsuhiko Shoyamacom Hitachi, Ltd. 4-6, Kanda-Surugadai, Chiyoda-kuTokyo, 101-8010, Japan Dear Mr. Shoyama: I have not felt compelled to write to a company regarding a product since I got into that little skirmish with T-Fal 15 years ago over the non-sticklessness of the pan they sold me. I know they appreciated the fact I sent the pan back to them, scrambled eggs melded to the sides and all, so their representative could understand when she argued the impossibility of such an event. It was a successful contact, however, having received a check, once I suggested where she could stick the non-stick pan, but, I digress. Some little time ago, after being told by several friends that I seemed a bit tense due to my unanticipat...
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I wouldn't need much since I'm sure I would be insane by week 4
2007-09-11 20:51:00
I've been asked the "what would you bring on a deserted island?" question before, but being a realist never gave it much thought. (Just a note here that the dreamer in me CANNOT believe I just admittedly called myself a realist) So with a little more time to think on thing this is what I've come up with. I am taking some poetic freedom with the strictness of the number 3 however.An endless supply of pen and paper. I can't imagine going crazy and talking to a volleyball, but I can go insane on paper with peace of mind. And there will always be the hope that being stranded was all for not. Perhaps down the road and after I have long been gone my writings will be found and they will make up a religion in my honor. (I'm going to Hell for that one!)A few thousand cartons of cigarrettes and tons of matches. At that point... why the heck not really!A solar powered Ipod (specially made of course) full of all the songs that make me cry. I'll need inspiration for the paper and pen!After ...
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3 Little Things
2007-09-09 16:52:00
1. A solar powered telephone so I could order from REI and have stuff delivered. 2. One of those radios like the Professor had in Gilligan?s Island that can be cannabilized to make an iPod or a Hitachi Magic Wand. Are there coconuts there I can turn into batteries? 3. A fully loaded, multi-purpose tool belt. Person: Sela Ward. Reason: I think we have some chapters to finish. Visit Lori at Hahn at Home
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Stranded
2007-09-04 02:33:00
It's hard to pick just three things and just one person to have with me on a desert island. The first thing that pops into my head is my iPod, but after the battery is dead, what would I do with it? Make a battery out of coconuts? Use it as a weight for a fishing line? So, after thinking more about it, my list of things is as follows:A pen (with refills--do they count as "things"?)A big notebook/journalMy teddy bearAnd the person is...obviously, my lovely wife, Meredith. We could spend our days basking in the sun and teaching our snow white skin to tan, swimming in the ocean, and other things (wink wink). And my pen and journal would serve to keep me sane because without some sort of outlet, I would be a complete nutcase.I can sit all day and rethink my list of things. They change as often as my mood changes. The only constant in this "what if" game is Meredith. She's the most important person in the world to me. I could not possibly live without her. She's the only person I can ...
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GUEST POST: "the straight one"
2007-08-30 04:31:00
She's my girlfriend-non-girlfriend. She likes it when I call her that. I actually met her a year ago but I knew she'd end up being "the straight one" in my life. By April, knowing she'd be moving soon, I figured it was time for me to track her down since she'd been on my mind for 9 months. If I wanted a mate who was an equal in every way, it would be her. Drop dead gorgeous. This woman knows how to carry a room like none other. She asks me why I insist on wearing jeans and button downs. Why not grow out my hair? Do I have a self-esteem problem? No, I insist, I'm just doing me - the only way I know how. She gives me a hard time, but now that she's moved away, I'm sure she misses me. She knows I'm the type to do anything to make sure she can be everything. And she will be. With or without me - I have no doubts about that. I'm going to visit her next month. Patience is my strategy. I'll take her to Girl Bar and give her a taste of my world. I hope that she'll let me hold her...
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Sela & Me
2007-08-25 08:31:00
I've been doing this "pick the topic week" on my blog, where readers determine the subject. This one is from Margo Moon, a cool new blogger I hope you'll check out. She wanted me to write about what would happen if I ended up stuck in an elevator with my favorite celebrity. In the fine tradition of bad lesbian erotica, without the actual erotica, I give you Sela & Me?and though this story leaves the story unfinished, trust that in my mind, the entire thing played out to the very best kind of conclusion.The doors opened and I stepped cautiously into the nearly empty elevator. Never did a ride go by that I didn?t give at least passing thought to what I?d do if it started spiraling down, out of control. Would I be able to jump up in the air at the right moment and save myself? I went to the back of the elevator and turned around so I was facing forward as people on an elevator, for some strange reason, do. I glanced briefly out of the corner of my eye and noticed that there were two ...

An Unexpectedly Pleasant Experience
2007-08-17 03:00:00
So, today, my wife decides she needs to go look at new beds. We have been discussing the possibility of a new bed for a while, but she has impending knee surgery in October. Normally, she almost always sleeps on the floor because of a back injury incurred the in military, and she will need a VERY firm bed to help her be able to sleep after surgery, when she will not be able to get down on the floor.So, we head out to the local mattress store (Okay, I'll plug it, Denver Mattress Company). We have breakfast first, and get there right at opening. I think, great, they are going to pounce on us like mice on peanut butter. If there's one thing I HATE, it's pushy salesfolk. But, we take the plunge and walk in anyway. As expected, we are immediately greeted by a young, fresh faced salesman, can he help us. I cut right to the chase and tell him we need to see the firmest mattress he has. Immediately, he points to a particular brand, and also says that the floor model is on sale,...
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The Lack there of My Big Fat Lesbian Wedding
2007-08-16 22:40:00
I'll be turning 30 in January. It's a rather interesting milestone for me. I sit here at 29 and think of all that I had hoped to accomplish by the magical age of 30. There is nay a success story I fear. I thought I would be in a relationship. One of those long term ones were she and I meet at some random place when we're 21 and never leave one anothers side from that point on. One that would lead to a marriage at the age of 25 and a child by 27. There would be a dog, she would make me get a cat, and money would be a constant issue.I had hoped to be out of the office. Out of the confined walls of the cube I work in for a company that considers me a number. A small number at that. My pay scale too is not where I had hoped it to by by 30. However, my lack of pay is probably one of the top factors as I slipped past a few layoffs. I had fantasized about being a writer. The goal was to be carefree and not worrying about keeping up with the Jones. I was to carve out my own path since ne...
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11 Reasons Gay People Should Not Be Allowed To Marry
2007-08-14 19:36:00
Thought I would share this wonderful post from The House of Bone:1. Homosexuality is not natural, much like eyeglasses, polyester, and birth control.2. Heterosexual marriages are valid because they produce children. Infertile couples and old people can't legally get married because the world needs more children.3. Obviously, gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.4. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage is allowed, since Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage was meaningful.5. Heterosexual marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are property, blacks can't marry whites, and divorce is illegal.6. Gay marriage should be decided by people, not the courts, because the majority-elected legislatures, not courts, have historically protected the rights of the minorities.7. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on ...
More About: People , Gay Marriage , Reasons , Marry , Lowe

August Outcome Column
2007-08-14 18:30:00
The August column for Outcome is up and ready for reading. You can view it here.
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LOGO LAUNCHES VISIBLEVOTE08.COM
2007-08-08 15:52:00
I normally don't post the many press releases I get in my in box, but this site is a great start for researching your 2008 canidates. Check it out, speak your mind, and for the love of all of us... VOTE!!!!!NEW YORK, NY ? AUGUST 7, 2007 ? Logo , a division of Viacom Inc.?s (NYSE: VIA and VIA.B) MTV Networks, today announced the launch of Visible Vote08.com. The newest addition to Logo?s federation of websites will be the premiere online destination for Logo?s coverage of the 2008 presidential election.Visitors to VisibleVote08.com will be able to watch live streaming coverage of The Visible Vote ?08: A Presidential Forum on August 9, 2007 at 6:00 PM PT/9:00 PM ET. The forum, in which top candidates for the Democratic nomination for President discuss issues important to the LGBT community, is being co-presented by Logo and The Human Rights Campaign Foundation. Logo is inviting viewers to submit questions for the candidates on VisibleVote08.com - several viewer-submitted questions will...

Straight as an Arrow???
2007-08-07 18:03:00
To this day I can not necessarily tell you if my first ?lesbian? long term relationship was with a ?straight? woman. I was in my early 20?s and her in her late 20?s. She was married (I came to find out later) and had a baby. I had a 2 year old. We met online. I had just come to realize my attraction to women and was too shy to meet someone face to face at a bar club or any where. The only experience I had was a 2 year sexual affair with one of my closest friend (definitely straight)so I turned to the internet personal ads.We met and it was an electric attrcation at that first kiss. She led me to believe in the beginning that she was co-parenting with her ex in the same house so she could stay home. Here I find out, after I was already in love with her and her son, that she was married already for 2 years. I should have wallked away, but I didn't as I was in love. He worked for a major league baseball team and was away 3 weeks out of the month (from March until October). Dur...
More About: Straight , TRAI

GUEST POST: I didn't fall in love with a straight woman. I WAS the straight
2007-08-06 20:59:00
I didn't fall in love with a straight woman. I WAS the straight woman! I was 49, four years after a divorce from a 20 year marriage.We had been friends for four years when 9/11 and my brother's death made me lose my footing. She offered me regular massages to help with the grieving process.Something I didn't understand was happening in my body during those massages. The only thing I could point to was this amazing feeling that the bottoms of my feet kept opening and opening during the massage. We hugged and said I love you as friends....until......I couldn't wait for Christmas Day to pass because she was calling the next day. I hadn't identified what was bubbling up inside of me, but something was. The call came and as we spoke, she said "There's something I need to tell you. I have feelings for you." Did I slam down the phone or run away? No! because I had feelings for her too.And so we began. Because never in my life had I felt I was gay/lesbian, I told myself and my friends...
More About: Love , Post , Woman , Guest , Straight

Forbidden Fruit
2007-08-05 23:59:00
The straight woman. Has she ever appealed to my senses? Has she ever stirred my desires? Has she ever made me dream of her on lonely nights? No. Not once in my 16 years of being out.Many of my pals & ex-lovers have been interested in straight women & some have even dated or "converted" a few hetero's. I however have never seen the appeal. Never had the crush. I love lesbians! Not every single lesbian in the world. Just look at my post on Rosie O'Donnell. But generally speaking I'm attracted to lesbian energy, if there is such a thing. The energy of women who enjoy & love other women. It makes my ache in certain places. It's an energy that I want to bathe in & roll around in like a joy-filled puppy!To be honest my guess why I've never been interested in straight ladies is in part because I only like to chase what is actually attainable. Married folks, straight women, movie stars and anyone else not in my reach is a waste of time. Life is hard enough without tr...
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