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Adoption, Gay or Straight?
2007-08-05 18:53:00
Taking a quick break from my work to comment on this topic-of-the month. I worked for 5 years in a law office where the attorneys were Guardians ad Litem, appointed by the courts in cases of child neglect and abuse. Additionally, the office also did adoptions. Mainly, the adoptions were the stepparent type, where a biological parent remarried and the non-bio parent wanted to adopt, but we also did grandparent adoptions, 2 non-bio parent adoptions, but, I have to say, no gay adoptions. Most of them went very smoothly, and it was easy to see that the adoptive parents and children were extremely happy with becoming "legal" families. Still, not all adoptions turn out so well. Speaking from this point of view, as well as from my own experience as a parent, I certainly believe that gay couples can make wonderful parents, and certainly should have the same rights as straight couples when it comes to adopting a child. That said, I must also issue a warning. PARENTHOOD IS FOREVER!!!! Whethe...
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Go Forward, Never Straight
2007-08-04 19:21:00
Fallen for a straight girl? Me? That would be the height of insanity, wouldn?t it? But, of course I did! Back when way more people didn?t have Internet than did, before high speed anything, I joined near-fledgling AOL. I spent hours in the evening exploring the new world laid before me. It started as news and information gathering. One day, I tried this new thing called MSN. They had these chat rooms for Lesbians and Bi-Sexuals. To join, you had to call a phone number to verify your authenticity. Wild, huh? I got in. I went to the chat room. There was this woman causing a ruckus with her more than rebellious poking of fellow chatters.I private messaged her after a few days of watching her stir things up (in a respectful, yet obviously philosophically divergent way). She answered back. We started discussing things like poetry and feminism. We started to get to know one another. Over the course of several months of chatting sometimes until 3 am, we spoke on the phone. This was a time ...
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Getting on my feet
2007-08-03 19:14:00
I probably shouldn't post here. I mean, I no longer identify as a lesbian. I now simply identify as queer.I don't think I even identify as female, even though I am still physically female.I'm a boi. I've been a boi for as long as I can remember.I think this might be my goodbye post. I haven't posted here in a very, very long time. Why? Because so much has happened in my life over the past year and a half. It is because of all of this that I just haven't known what to say.As far as the "topics" go here are my thoughts:1) I think gays should be legally allowed to adopt. Do I think all gays should adopt? Nope. Why? Because it's just like straight people: Not all people, in general, make good parents.My parents are straight, but they should never have had kids.My friends parents are gay, and they should never have had kids.Adopting children is the same as having children, is the same as making the choice to conceive a child and raise that child: some people make excellent parents...
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A Post from Brain Clouds
2007-07-27 04:26:00
My Bohemian DreamSo I have this crazy imagination. I see things, or create things all the time in my mind. For the most part the visions are disasters. Death, macabre, all those things that make up a great old school horror movie. It is both my curse and my gift. But beneath that surface lives a dream I have had since I can remember. The dream of a Bohemian Community.For those that aren?t sure what in the Hell Bohemian means let me share a few facts with you. Feel free to skim through the facts? The Dictionary defines Bohemian as: * A native or inhabitant of Bohemia. * The group of Czech language dialects used in Bohemia. * An artisan, usually gifted in literature or the creative arts; one who defies social conventions; a gypsy. While these definitions are technically correct, they don?t seem to do justice to describing the Bohemian lifestyle. Being Bohemian is all about living in an alternative space. Bohemians express themselves without regard for social convention. They at...
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A Recent Post: 1220 at 5
2007-07-19 15:54:00
Jester reminded me when discussing the same place (small world) on his blog, of my first trip to 1220, the local gay beverage establishment in Walnut Creek, CA. 1220 also played a part in the Great Ballerina Debacle of 2000. My first foray into meeting people online came right after I moved to California. I had just broken up with my girlfriend who decided not to move to California with me after all. That?s now been 7-1/2 years ago, not that I?m counting. Yahoo! Personals was free, which was all I needed to hear. Beat the heck out of going to the bar and hanging out until someone interesting walked by. I knew that would never happen because they were all out hiking Mt. Tamalpais or Mt. Diablo or at hanging out Whole Foods or attending women?s music festivals. I crafted a carefully worded profile and sat back and waited. Eventually, I happened upon a woman who lived very close by. We exchanged emails, spoke on the phone and agreed to meet. She: How about we meet...
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Goldstar Review: The Gymnast
2007-07-16 20:07:00
Who knows how, why, when, or where we will fall in love. I like to think of true love as the last great mystery. I'm all for those famous quotes like, "Love conquers all!" and "Love will find you when you least expect it." I'm a hopeless romantic to a fault, and The Gymnast played right into my some times painful hopeless romantic tendencies.Talented Jane Hawkins (Dreya Weber, Lovely & Amazing) was an impressive gymnast at the top of her game until a devastating injury ended her career. Years later, a chance meeting sets Jane on a new path ? performing a cirque style aerial act with a mysterious dancer named Serena (Addie Yungmee). As the stunning pair prepares for a Las Vegas show, the pull between them becomes increasingly unavoidable...This film was delightfully short on lesbian film cliches'. It had a very good storyline in regards to following your dreams and not letting go of who you are on the inside for anyone. No one dies or gets breast cancer. There is no off the wa...
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Amazing and Incredible Women
2007-07-15 17:03:00
Women are astounding creatures, yes? Please watch this incredible representation of women in painting throughout history. You won't be sorry.Women in ArtAdd to My Profile
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An Unlikely Midwest Lesbian
2007-07-14 13:16:00
I've read this blog for awhile now and I always find it fascinating. The internet is a wonderful, powerful thing to bring people together that would have otherwise never met. It also brings home the fact that there is a bigger world out there...especially the whole glbt community that I am sheltered from.I am a different sort of lesbian. I'm not from NYC, LA or even Chicago. I live in Iowa and I know there are many of us here. I know this because I've met a few. I don't want to go clubbing, tell or even show every person I know that I am here, queer and they better get used to it. I think that is a dangerous thing. I chose carefully the people I am out to. I am out to my boss and coworkers but not the clients and families I work with. I don't like going back into the closet but I also know it is reality. The world has spent too long of a time in a wrong and hateful state of mind and I am not sure it can ever go where we all want it to go. Oh there is a difference, for sure. It ...
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Wedded Bliss (a post from my blog)
2007-07-10 15:56:00
On June 22, 2007 at 8:00pm in Atlanta's Magnolia Hall at Piedmont Park I married my best friend, my heart and soul...my whole world. It was a mass ceremony with all kinds of couples from pierced and tattooed kids to older, wiser women and men. There were deaf people, loud and obnoxious people, people holding each other, continuous kissing, huge smiles and lots of love in the room. Though it was short and sweet, I can't imagine it any other way. Her roommate and parents came and took a thousand pictures (I still can't decide which one is my favorite). Afterwards, we ate at Mick's downtown...then there was the honeymoon :DShe worked for a week and a half to orchestrate a surprise for me. I had an idea what it was but I was shocked when it actually came down to it. She blindfolded me and drove me downtown from her dorm room. She walked me through the lobby and up to our room at the Glenn Hotel. Inside, she'd lit tea light candles and spread rose petals in a trail from the door to ...
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Changing my Focus
2007-07-09 14:53:00
Ok, this is a post from one of my blogs "CO Grumpy Granny" posted just before Memorial Day. It also pretty much addresses where I currently stand on the Bush impeachment issue, so I'm accompishing 2 topics with 1 post. I know the views stated below will be either unpopular or incomprehensible to many, so comments are welcome.A Quiet EpiphanyTonight, the eve of Memorial Day, I lay on my yoga mat, trying to twist my tired body into shapes that it just did not want to form. As usual, when I am doing this intricate physical stuff, my mind wanders off on its own tangents. And, tonight, I realized, with a rather large shock to my system (to say the least), that I love George W. Bush. Yes, I love him! Somewhere in between Bridge Pose and Downward Dog, I realized that George W. Bush, Goddess bless him, is absolutely the PERFECT president for our country as it is right at this moment. And perhaps Goddess DID want him to be president. After all, aren't people waking up all over the place?...
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A Tina-cious Life
2007-07-01 17:58:00
Chapter 32:The boi who brought the squishee-ness back into my life.
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My Life in a Picture
2007-06-29 20:46:00
It could have been a snap of one of the places I?ve been?I mean, I?ve lived in Europe and all over the US, and mingled with some pretty damned interesting people and seen some incredibly beautiful things. It could have been the things I?ve experienced?like the fall of the Berlin Wall and the exodus of thousand score from East to West. Or possibly even the things I?ve eaten, because man, do I love a gastronomic delight. Now, if I could just find a woman who loved to prepare them for me. But, it?s none of those things.This is my family?cobbled together with love. They needed me, but I needed them too?to be my center, my joy, the creators of patience and understanding beyond myself, the bringers of laughter and tears, the sharers of triumphs and defeats, the conduits of compassion and kindness, the teachers of lessons big and small. My family?and by extension, all the friends, relatives, and people I meet to whom my heart is open because of them.This is my life in a picture. visit Lori...
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East Coast Lesbians of Color Sentenced for Self Defense
2007-06-28 22:41:00
This a call to action!This much I know on a day like today. In some places in our supposed "free country" being a queer woman of color can be a crime.Last year on August 16th a group of seven young lesbian African-American friends from New Jersey we're hanging out in the West Village of New York. As they walked by Dwayne Buckle a NY resident, he began to proposition and harass the women including saying homophobic insults and grabbing his own genitals.One of the women had enough and confronted Buckle. Soon a physical fight occurred between him & some of the women. After Buckle pulled out chunks of hair from one woman & chocked another, one of the lesbians, Patreese Johnson pulled a small knife out of her purse & aimed for his arm to stop the attack. A surveillance camera shows the struggle between Buckle & 4 of the 7 women involved.Two men came to stop the attack on the women. By the time the police showed up the women were across the street. Buckle wound up in the hospital...
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My Life in Picture(s)
2007-06-28 19:59:00
I really couldn't sum up my life with just one picture. There are 3. One is of my wife Lauren and I on our wedding day. It will be 4 years together in July and I still fall madly in love with her over and over again. Around July 21 we will be expecting out first child together. Its a boy and his name is Jamesen. He represents the love between the two of us and the hope for a better future. Last but NEVER least is a picture of my incredible 8 year old daughter. She is the reason I breathe, exist and just have love in my heart at all times. This is my life. They are my life.
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Venus Envy?
2007-06-26 18:09:00
And so the lesbians finally have our own reality dating show. I'm not sure how I feel about it, but I know I'll watch. And at least they aren't trying to trick us with straight women thrown in the mix. Well, that's if you believe the Maxim model is a tried and true dyke. Up for the challenge? Check out the site and fill out an application.What are your thoughts?
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GLBT Blogger Weenie Roast
2007-06-18 17:38:00
Curly, over at Ham & Cheese on Wry is hosting the first ever GLBT Ween ie Roast . Check out her post and get more info below.Whatcha doing on Sunday, July 8? Join me and a few of my fellow GLBT bloggers for a laid-back evening of blog talk, burgers and booze at Cattyshack here in beautiful Brooklyn, NY.I'm totally taking a page from (aka biting off) the venerable Joe.My.God.'s wildly successful Blarg Hop here. Joe has proven on several occasions that bloggers + alchohol = good times, good times. I have first-hand knowledge of this as I attended the Blarg Hop in February. 'Twas a hoot. In fact, there is photographic evidence of me making a dirty, filthy gesture and if my mama ever saw it, she'd say, "What's that you're doing with your hand? Shazbot?" And then when informed of the actual non-Mork and Mindy meaning, she would disown me tout de suite.And no, you cannot see it.Because I said so, that's why. Now drop it.But I digress, the get-together was so much fun and it provided ...
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Goldstar Review: Bam Bam & Celeste
2007-06-12 21:00:00
Every fags favorite hag has made an amazing movie with an even more amazing soundtrack! For a little under two hours you can forget how fucked up America is. You can eat ice cream, block out your personal self pity, and laugh your ass off.The ensemble cast is huge. It seems like Margret Cho got all her lesbian, gay, and otherwise stereo types together to make a wonderfully campy film that will go down in history with films like "But I'm a Cheerleader"In Bam Bam & Celeste, Celeste (Margaret Cho) and Bam Bam (Bruce Daniels) are best friends still stuck in the white bread Midwest hometown where they grew up. Celeste lives at home with her out of touch Mommy (also played by Cho) and has retained her outcast status since high school. She and Bam Bam are free-spirited rejects in a town where looking or dressing differently is perpetually uncool.With lines like "High Ho Dildo!" you can't go wrong! Get a group of friends together, pop some rainbow colored pop corn and get ready for a visu...
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Why Marriage Equality is Important to Me
2007-06-12 07:31:00
Originally posted at QWOCI'm not going to sugarcoat this. I never wanted to get legally married. Not until now. Not until I found the love I had waited so very long for. And now I see the importance of marriage & why civil unions/domestic partnerships are not enough. For many years I ran around saying "screw legal marriage, everyone should just do domestic partnerships." I believed it with all my heart & still very much feel it's a great way to go. It is not necessary to get legally married. Lawyers can draw up papers so that most things in a marriage can apply to a union. So why have I changed my mind for myself?I suddenly understand what deep love means & how important it is to protect it to the fullest extent possible. Legal marriage makes this possible. To want your partner & family to have as many provisions as possible to keep the family sustained & healthy is an appropriate response to such strong feelings. Don't get me wrong, legal marriage in and of itself can't...
More About: Marriage , Marriage Equality , Arri , Equality , Quality

I can?t say I?ve ever used the g-card to my advant...
2007-06-08 20:52:00
I can?t say I?ve ever used the g-card to my advantage as opportunities to do so are rare indeed?I just feel it is an immense advantage in life, generally speaking, to have a slightly different perspective than the vast majority, it offers a chance for personal growth. Seeing life from a minority perspective but distinctly refusing to be pushed to the margins or even out of society and public life, is a very enriching way of living. To confront people who cultivate prejudice and live with different sets of values than my own is something very challenging, sometimes it?s annoying but it?s always interesting. To do so with congeniality, a good sense of humour and self-irony makes it even more exciting for the huge variety of reactions one may receive.When I meet new people I never play the pronoun game when it comes to speaking about partners ? people hear but they very often do not listen. Sometimes I think I could be covered in rainbow stickers and people still wouldn?t realize. My p...
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My Life in a Snap
2007-06-07 23:06:00
I take a lot of pics around the house, and trying to find one that would "sum up" my life was pretty difficult. Do I put one of just me and my partner together? Do I find one of my daughter and grandsons, etc., etc. Then I found this one and that was it. This is my partner, G., in the white shirt, and our down the street neighbor, Anita, who recently turned 81. She is an amazing woman, who was raised an atheist Jew in a Catholic neighborhood on Long Beach, NY. She is wise beyond imagining, but until 2 summers ago (when this picture was taken), she did not know where green beans came from. I mean, obviously she knew they didn't just come frozen or out of a can, but had never seen them actually GROWING. So, we, having a garding that was quitle literally OVERFLOWING with green beans, took it upon ourselves to show her! She was thrilled, and as a vegetarian for well onto 40 years, happy to take home some of the bounty.So, that's my life these days: my love, my community, and...
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My Life is about Equality, Truth & Love
2007-06-07 22:57:00
My friends & family know me to be a person who "says it like it is." This pic is me at a recent anti-war rally. I could have said "USA out of Iraq" or "Impeach" but the truth is this country has a painful history of going around killing brown people whenever it suits us. So here I am saying it like it is: to stop killing brown people. To stop killing anyone one we feel gets in our way. To stop killing. I'm sure there may be folks reading or writing on this blog who have different views than myself & I just want to say as a disclaimer that these are my views & I don't expect anyone else to agree. I reserve the right to be wrong, right or utterly confused at any given time. This is just how I feel and this picture shows that in my life I'm willing to stand up for justice. It's who I am & what I'm about. The right to love equally and not fear for our lives because of our skin color, sexuality, gender and individuality. Peace!~FQWOC: Queer Woman of Color
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The gay card: priceless?
2007-06-07 16:11:00
There's so much room for jokes with that title that I'm going to try to leave them up to everyone else to post their own in the comments. I have to say that I have not in fact used my sexuality to my advantage, at least not to my own knowledge. The frightful truth, at least from behind my eyes is that in the current social climate of our country, if a person isn't straight then their sexuality is made into a handicap, not an advantage. We are a minority, a blindly misunderstood minority for the most part. Until we are accepted as a naturally occuring part of the population, not a lifestlyle choice, I'm very much afraid that is not going to change. Oh, I've just thought of one time I used my sexuality to my advantage! Well, it was associated with my parents' lifestlye but still I suppose it counts. My step-dad is a transvestite and my parents are also active in the B/D/S/M community. Because of that, my step-dad "Tina" was in the gay pride parade in chicago a couple years ago...
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My favorite person in the world
2007-06-06 22:28:00
No matter how shitty life is. No matter how many times Paris Hilton goes to jail or how many times Lindsey goes back into rehab. No matter how many more days we have that idiot running our country, or how many times I eat ice cream as opposed to something of the green vegtable variety. No matter how much I don't give a shit anymore or wish I had a different sort of life. No matter how many times it seems like nothing's going right and everything is doomed. None of the BS of this messed up world matters when I see my little niece smile. The pics a few months old, but she's still just as cute. As for me... I'm still eating ice cream!!!
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My Life in a Picture: Looking the wrong way in traffic
2007-06-04 14:10:00
Looking left before you cross the street... Only to find that traffic is coming from the other way.
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Rosie: Not My Ideal by a Long Shot
2007-05-23 18:44:00
Do you remember the Ching chong incident? If not let this refresh your memory. After she made her ching chong mockery she remained wholly indignant on the matter until she watched a video by Beau Sia. Only then did she get it but still needed to plead victim & compare with her own issues around others being cacomorphobic towards her. In my book apologies mean you only talk about the issue at hand & do not compare your own struggles. Race & size are two different things & even for her mostly sincere apology she showed a lack to deep exploration into her own racism. Anyone who is going to be a role model to me personally needs to be able to grasp the pain and power of racism. Rosie has been anything but influential in this area.To me she appeals to middle age & upper middle class lesbians & housewives. Yes she's out, loud & proud. But that does not equal role model. Octavia Butler would be more of a role model to me. She was herself, humble & real. She thrived in a fi...
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Rosie O'Bloody Hell (a Tina-cious rebuttal)
2007-05-23 18:40:00
This post is written mostly in response to: Rosie , a paradigm of Ellen?s legacy (the entry before mine) - why? Because this was too damn long to be a comment.Why else? I was bored.Anyway, here are my thoughts on Ellen:I don't believe that her show was cancelled (at least not entirely) because she came out as a lesbian. I think it was cancelled because from "that kiss" forward the show began to SUCK. Big time.What was once a really hysterical show became "gay this" and "gay that"... every. single. episode was about Ellen and her lesbianism.Hell , I'm a lesbian and I was sick of hearing about it. Where was the balance?? I think that the leap that Ellen took threw her off-balance from that point forward on that show and we all felt it. Though we wanted to support our out celebrity "family" members, let's not kid ourselves that that show had the same punch "pre-kiss".She has, however, found her balance again and is wicked funny on her talk show and I'm glad to see the old Ellen back....
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Rosie, a paradigm of Ellen?s legacy
2007-05-22 20:55:00
Once upon a time, oh say, way back in 1997, there was a lesbian, some of you may have heard of her, named Ellen . Now, Ellen, who is the heroine of this tale, was small, petite, blond, and had a quirky little smile that would melt the hearts of an entire audience. She had a way of endearing herself to everyone, until that is, she decided to do the unthinkable and come out as a lesbian. The nation, nay, the world, drew a collective gasp of horror that someone would mention the ?G? word on TV and claim it as their own. Soon this media darling had daggers of harsh words thrown at her then her show was cancelled. Tucking her tale between her legs, she slinked off to Ojai, the lesbian capital of Southern California, to lick her emotional wounds. Then one day, the dark clouds lifted, and Ellen came out from under the rain to a beautiful colored rainbow waiting to whisk her away to a wonderful new and diverse accepting audience who reveled in her gayness and accepted her as ...
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Guest post sent in by Sonoresse
2007-05-18 13:47:00
Lesbian Role ModelsInteresting question. Rosie O'What? I am not much into the idea of role models in general. The idea of lesbian role models I find as bizarre as thinking about chain saw killer role models. Identification with ideals, mindsets etc. is certainly something that can be helpful, but I never felt I needed or wanted lesbian role models. I know several people that I admire for the one or other reason, people who have something special. Either in their character, or they have achieved something that will last beyond their own little lives that is useful for others. Sometimes we are lucky enough that those peoples' lives touch our own, sometimes we just witness from afar, via the media how someone is doing something that we identify with. But I never paid particular attention if that person is homosexual or not. In Germany we have also a couple of people in public life who are openly gay. Some of them are loud, obtrusive people like Mrs O'Donnell, some are brilliant com...
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Jerry Falwell, RIP
2007-05-16 08:27:00
Thank you, dear Lord, for taking our earthly brother, Reverend Dr. Jerry Falwell to his just reward. I know he worked hard for it. Of course, I?m not quite sure that your idea and his about what climate he?ll find at that reward is the same, but thanks anyway. And, Lord, thank you for taking one who was so careful to evenly distribute his bigotry and prejudice and wishes for eternal damnation across the spectrum of those created in Your image?the Gay, the Muslim, the Democrat, well, hell..er, I mean, heck?Lord, just about anyone who wasn?t a white, male, Republican, and Southern Baptist. It will be hard to fill his shoes here, Lord, but there are many waiting in the wings ready to grab his mantle. I don?t think he got the memo about you loving all your creatures, but no man is perfect, so we hope you will forgive him if he left anyone out of his diatribe of intolerance in Your name. Maybe to make amends we can suggest that Disneyland give those gays an ext...
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TLL featured on BloggerView!
2007-05-10 13:18:00
Hi all,I did an interview a while back with Pete, from Blogg erView about TLL. It's up on the blog, and can be found here. Take a peek at it and the other interviews Pete has up on the site. I found it to be a really cool idea to find out the origin of blogs and to learn more about the people behind them.
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