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Role Models Or Individuals?
2007-05-10 09:12:00
When I saw the questions for this month, I honestly felt as if I had nothing to add for either one. After all, I have opinions about Rosie O'Donnell--few opinions, but opinions nontheless--and I've yet to have sex with a woman. Then I read Grumpy Granny's post and realized some people agree with me to a certain extent when it comes to Rosie.First off--who cares about Rosie? And let me back up by saying that, though visible, Rosie is neither a "celebrity" I think about often nor is she a lesbian celebrity, role model or enemy when I do think about her. She's Rosie O'Donnell. By being the way that she is--and, perhaps, by not being a big deal in Hollywood, at least not by my standards--she is an individual to me rather than a famous lesbian who has the ability to reflect well or badly on the gay community. If there's any famous gay person I associate with their sexual identity whenever I think about them, it's probably Ellen DeGeneres. Now there's somebody gay people care abou...
More About: Models , Individual , Role , Role Model , Dual

Enemy or Role Model?
2007-05-10 00:17:00
That's the question of the month, I guess, and I wonder if it must be so either/or. Is someone either an enemy of a cause, or a role model for said cause, with nothing in between? Rosie O'Donnell being the example here. Truthfully, I don't think much about Rosie. I never watched her show, because I was always at work. And, now that I work from home, I still don't watch "The View" because when it's on, I'm, well, at work. So, when I DID see some of the media stuff about the Rosie/Trump "controversy" I was like, whatever and who cares?Granted, Rosie is a very visible lesbian, married with children, etc. She's definitely a voice for lesbians in that way, simply by living her life. But, I wonder, is her voice too strident? The first thing that went through my mind when I saw the above-mentioned clips, was, "Oh, well, I guess ONE of them needs some publicity." Which totally turned me off to both of them. Maybe it's my age (50 on Saturday!!), or maybe it's my upbringin...
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You, Me & an STD
2007-05-06 00:49:00
Great topic. Safe sex that is. I remember when I came out 16 years ago HIV/AIDS was still a cause celeb and safe sex as a topic was as common among us queers as anything else we'd chat about. I remember many years ago watching a supposed lesbian sex sex porno. Though it was not that titillating of a film I felt like I was a part of a movement dedicated to healthy sexuality. At 17, a year after I came out I became a safe sex educator with the Red Cross and learned about all manner of STD's including seeing pictures of anal warts (yikes!) Did I actually ever practice what I preached & believed in? Sadly no. Because I still believed in the myth that lesbians really can't pass along VD to each other.One thing I did do was get tested regularly. In fact the last time I was tested recently my nurse practically discouraged me from getting certain tests, based on the history of my *ahem* activities. Well I got the works done anyway & am glad that my status is exactly what I want it to...
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Her Hands
2007-05-03 20:23:00
I watched her as a stranger would, just the other day. She sat watching a movie across from me. As I marveled at her beauty I was pleased to feel that same excitement that drew me to her so many years ago. Her hand gracefully rose from the position it had been resting in and gently ran through her hair. As she lowered it back onto her leg I remembered the first time I saw those delicate hands. She had come to my home after months of talking on line. I was to be her hostess for the weekend, along with other mailing list community members. I knew immediately that she would be someone I would never forget. That evening as we all loudly prepared a meal, I noticed her hands. It was beyond any hope I had that the flirting we had engaged in that afternoon would lead to any more than a weekend of pleasure. I found myself praying for more than the fleeting touch I had enjoyed earlier that day. She was a paramedic and a nurse. I felt below her league. Yet there she stood, smiling at my kit...
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Safe Sex Comes To Those Who Wait
2007-05-02 06:20:00
I?ve lived in several places in my life?including a far more sexually progressive Western Europe. Safe sex wasn?t new to me and since I?d had friends lost in the very early days of AIDS, I was quite aware that I needed to do what was necessary to keep my sexual partners and I safe. That being said, I then moved to Omaha. It was a different pace of life there and it seemed to be one rather small pool of dating incest. Access to toys and safe sex supplies was extremely limited. Nothing that the Internet couldn?t fix?if you had the Internet. I enjoyed my time there, made friends, and dated several fabulous women. Time came to go?I was in California on a house-hunting trip when I received a call that Ellen needed to move up the timing of the Lesbian Moving Crew who was scheduled to move my stuff from my place to temporary storage due to a scheduling conflict (there was a kegger at the park the weekend I originally planned to move, and half the crew wasn?t giving up that for m...
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Lesbians and Safe Sex - My View
2007-05-01 23:09:00
Over the past decade, since I've been out, I have almost constantly been involved in long term relationships. There was a short time when I was playing the field and slept with a few different women. I am guilty of never having safe sex with a woman, besides the one or two times I just wanted to know what the hell using a dental dam was like just for fun. Unless you really don't enjoy the taste of a woman, and love the taste of latex (or rubber or plastic or whatever the hell those things are made out of), lesbian safe sex would probably not be enjoyable for you. It surely wasn't for me. In my opinion, one of the best parts of making love to a woman is tasting her. not to mention the gloves, if somebody came at me wearing rubber gloves, I'd feel like I was at the Dr.'s office getting a routine check-up. Total turn-off. But that's just my opinion.I understand that there are folks out there who practice safe sex with their partners so as not to pass anything along to them...
More About: View , Lesbians , Safe

Safe Sex and what it means to me...
2007-05-01 18:14:00
I am married (aka civil unioned) since January 1st of this year.As such, I do not engage in safe sex with my wife. However, it's funny that this should be a topic this month... just yesterday I was in the chat room on butch-femme.com and they were discussing the fact that they won't sleep with anyone unless they get a clean bill of health from them (copy of the report included).And I remembered thinking, "Damn, what a mood killer."Don't get me wrong, I fully understand the need for it and all, it's just... wow, how/why did it all have to come to this?Granted, there are instances in my own life where I should've asked before-hand -- having had my own brushes with STDs of both the permanent and non-permanent kind... luckily, I was not affected by the more permanent kind ... but, I'll admit it, in my teenage years, I did catch two STDs that were, thankfully, treatable.So yes, I get it.I just wish that we didn't live in a world where a date had to end at Quest Laboratories.
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An open letter to those against homosexuality
2007-04-27 17:18:00
I've always wondered what I would say in a room full of people who "hated" me for who I love. It's sad to constantly watch the extreme left and right battle over this issue. To me it has never been about convincing someone their opinion is wrong, it's only ever been about getting them to see that theirs isn't the only opinion out there. It is not the people with extreme liberal views that will save this country from continued racism and will legalize gay marriage. Nor is it the extreme right that will gain prayer in every public school and make abortions illegal. It is those of us in the middle that need to stand up to truly make things happen. It is those of us who are able to listen and understand one anothers views that need to finally express our own. I know that I cannot convince a sane person that the sky is orange, but being a sane person I am able to see that sometimes even our beautiful blue sky turns gray.I am 29 years old. I grew up in the suburbs of Detroit, attended...
More About: Open , Letter , Homosexuality , Sexuality , Again

Relationships & Identity
2007-04-27 01:37:00
I read a recent interview with Lionel Shriver about her latest book The Post Birthday World. In this book the main character is a woman who tries to choose between two men. In the real world the author had a similar dilemma. The interviewer noted in the interview that when choosing between two different people you're also in ways choosing different versions of yourself. In the book the main character experiences things based on being with each man like grocery shopping or winning awards and how the protagonist reacts with each person.Soon after reading that interview I asked a co-worker if she felt that the way she is as a person changes based to a degree on who she's dating including if she single. She had to think then responded yes but needed to think more. So I've been doing my own thinking on this topic. The TTL topic this month is about the urge to merge & if we lose our identities. And with that question I also ask myself how do I change based on being single or dating cer...
More About: Relationships , Ships , Relations , Identity , Ship

My First Lesbian Wedding
2007-04-24 19:55:00
I've never been big on weddings. In my 29 years of life I have only been to a total of three. Maybe it's because I never have anything to wear. It could be because I tend to shy away from large groups of people. Or maybe it's just because I never really understood how much they could mean to me.This past Friday I stood up in my friends Jessica and Casey's wedding. The wedding was perfect. A total of 40 of their closest friends gathered at the Rooster Tail on the Detroit River. It never really occurred to me that it was a "lesbian wedding" until the straight people who were there started to talk about it. Casey's boss asked if any drag queens would be there. My brother said the guys at his work were asking him a bunch of questions in regards to what the wedding would be like. I assume it was close to the same line of questions that surround how two women can have sex. To me, it was just two people that I care about dearly sharing their love with their family and friends.A friend...
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You Know You're Middle Aged When...
2007-04-22 02:27:00
I had an idea?a brilliant idea to reduce my stress and shake up my routine?an event to anticipate with relish. I was going out. Really?outside of my actual house to a place that doesn?t have the name of the company I work for on the door. An establishment that serves adult beverages and only lets adults inside. Or if not actual adults, people who have an ID that states they are over 21. Where nubile young women would be dancing and enjoying some frivolity. Two of my dear friends, both slightly younger than myself, and I went to dinner Saturday night at a place that had a surprisingly good menu considering its outward appearance. We enjoyed watching the gay men gather at the bar, the transgendered folks out on a ?girl?s night out,? and various other hip and trendy habitués of mid town. The laughter built to a fever pitch before we headed first to the sex toy shop on K. We were casually perusing the product line when the young man at the counter asked if...
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"The Urge to Merge"
2007-04-21 07:45:00
I've never picked someone who looks like me, and trust me I have come across women who seems to either pick (a) someone who looks like themselves, or (b) someone who looks like their ex. My gf's/ex's have been more or less different from me or at least not completely the same. Sure we may have similar interests, like the same kind of music/movie/books, but if one of us preferred coffee to tea you'd be sure the other would be vice versa. I have had a few gf's/ex's who have been quite different from me, actually it seems to be a constant thing at the moment, even if I prefer someone who was more like me. A similarity however has occurred, different or not we were always inseparable, and at the same time enjoy our time alone. At the moment I have found myself in a new role, and that is one of a gf who isn't wanted by her gf 24/7. Some of you might laugh, but in actually fact I am finding this quite hard, as once upon a time (and several times after that) my gf's and I have want...
More About: The U , Merge , Urge

Get out the U-Haul, Here come the lesbians
2007-04-15 21:45:00
Partner and I are U-Haul lesbians.We met young, my 18 to her 19, in our first year of university. Since she had a roommate, and I did not (whew!) we pretty much lived in my room. Neither of us were ready to be out yet, we were both in the woohoo frosh stage, and frankly, weren't confident with our relationship yet. Surely you know when you're a lesbian right? We didn't feel like lesbians. We would definitely know.The time to group off and find roommates/housemates for the next year came, and it just made sense for us to live together. We had 2 other roommates in a 4 bedroom apartment, and that worked ok... By the end of that year we were ready and moved into a place of our own.Almost 5 years later, we're still living together, albeit in my parents' house while she finishes her teaching cert. and until she gets a job - we simply both can't live on my salary in the city. I'd be amazed if anyone could live on my salary in the city.We felt the urge to merge - neither of us was pa...
More About: Come , Here , Get Out , Lesbians

The Urge to Merge
2007-04-11 19:02:00
The urge to merge...my girlfriend and I have been considering this topic for a few weeks. We met in November and we're engaged and will be moving in together in August. We know we moved rather quickly. We're still in new relationship bliss because we don't see each other more often that every 2-3 weeks...sometimes longer. But I don't see us merging. We have distinct interests. I love to write stories, erotica and fantasy (vampires). I also am a member of a vampire based Role-Playing forum (she calls it "nerdy shit"). I prefer cats, she prefers dogs (but we both love all animals). I love fish--right now I have a 5 gallon aquarium with several small fish in it and hope to, in the near future to get a larger tank and a few more fish. I tend to roll with the flow, she likes to plan things, big things at least. I'm indecisive and she isn't.Like Grumpy Granny wrote, we were raised in two totally different environments. Cultural references I use aren't always funny to her because sh...
More About: The U , Merge , Urge

Keeping It Together, Keeping It Separate
2007-04-09 04:36:00
My wife and I have been together for five years, and often it seems that we have become almost telepathic with one another. Sometimes that can be really funny, and sometimes scary. I am a very private person, and for me, the way that she can "read" me is uncanny. I have to admit, there are times when I don't like it very much. Like, when it forces me to talk about things that I would rather just leave quiet. And yet, when I DO end up talking to her about it, whatever "IT" is, I always feel better. I feel accepted, heard, understood. Even if she doesn't agree with me, she always, always acknowledges that my point of view and my feelings are valid and important. I cannot tell you how wonderful that is.Despite this, we are completely and totally our own selves. While we do quite a few things together, we each have our own hobbies and fascinations that don't do much for the other. I am a total movie buff and sci/fi reader and fan. She was basically raised in a car by a sc...
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A Lesbian's Life, Inc
2007-04-06 22:10:00
A Lesbian's Life , Inc.Real Women, Real Stories ... Real Life! Women are Everywhere...They're Talking, Singing and Struttin' Their Hot, Hot Stuff! WOW! It's Women on Women? Everyone is talking to Donna these days and the fun has just begun! Women everywhere want to be heard and our WOW! Women on Women? show gives you that chance. We've planned some amazing episodes that will keep you wanting and coming back for more. There isn't anything quite as wonderful, provocative, extraordinary or compelling as...who we are! We'd like to talk to you about your life. We'd like to get YOU involved in what we're doing and hope you'll write us and tell your friends about this effort. We're searching for women who would like to share their rich life experiences - who they are, who they've loved or how their sexual preferences have evolved over the years. Email us if you'd like to explore getting involved at stories@inthedeepproductions.com. For more information, click here. ...

Interactive Lesbians
2007-04-05 05:12:00
I'm just dying to see what stunts people are going to suggest:Will you save the lesbians??
More About: Interactive , Interac , Lesbians , Active , Tera

Goldstar Review: Big Dreams In Little Hope
2007-04-03 02:07:00
Please note: BIG DREAMS IN LITTLE HOPE was previously titled MOM on the film festival circuit. Coming to DVD on May 29th, 2007 BIG DREAMS IN LITTLE HOPE is a smart new comedy in the form of a classic road movie with a lesbian twist. Kelly (Emily Burton, Out at the Wedding) is a market researcher with aspirations to be a television news reporter. She’s shipped off to Little Hope to gather data
More About: Dreams , Gold , Review , Star

Coming out or Coming to understand...
2007-04-01 05:45:00
I know I'm still young but none the less it seems like I came out a million and twelve years ago... I no longer remember what it was like to be "heterosexual", nor do I remember what my "type" of guy was... but I do remember being 16, and feeling like being a lesbian was life changing... I felt so lost and confused... I felt like the world was against me and who I loved. Its been almost 9 years
More About: Understand , Under , Stand , Ming

A Question
2007-03-24 03:47:00
This is a question I ask everyone I meet, especially those I plan to become romantically involved with. So I decided to ask all the readers and writers of this fine blogging establishment. If you were a stripper, what would be your signature song? My answer, "Lick" by Joi -- From the XXX Soundtrack. Picture four gorgeous Russian women pole dancing on a four-poster canopy bed, waiting for you.
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Look Out World, Here I Come! : A not so pleasant coming out story
2007-03-22 02:14:00
Every coming out story I've heard or read is the woman's first sexual encounter. Mine is not a story like that. I didn't come out voluntarily. It wasn't an easy process. It took 5 years. The process began when I was 15. I had met a girl, S, and because of all the time we spent on the phone together, my mom began to question the nature of our relationship. After a pretty lengthy argument, I told
More About: World , Story , Stor , Come , Here

Coming Late to the Party, But Still Here
2007-03-19 01:37:00
Ah, the coming out story. I probably have one of the most anti-climactic coming out stories of anyone I've ever met who was gay or lesbian. Of course, coming out "officially" when you're 45 is a lot simpler (at least it was for me), than when you're 15, or even 25. I had, however, been out to myself for much longer than that. I can't even say for sure when I "realized". I remember having a
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Short and sweet.
2007-03-18 04:08:00
I love it when she strokes my hair, I love it when she touches me there. There's nothing else I can do, baby, to show how much I love you. Everything, darling, that you do, just makes me wanna say "I do".
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16 YEARS OF ANTI-GAY DISCRIMINATION, BUT IRISH QUEERS FIGHT ON
2007-03-17 15:36:00
Protest at NYC St. Patrick’s Parade as Iris h LGBT people refuse to disappear Challenges to the exclusion of LGBT people from the NYC St. Patrick’s parade this year will come from both sides of the Atlantic Ocean. Once again, Irish Queers will assemble at 58th Street & Fifth Ave. at 10:30am to protest the exclusion of Irish & Irish American LGBT people from the parade. At the same time, in
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I read the article and was appalled. The most shoc...
2007-03-16 20:54:00
I read the article and was appalled. The most shocking thing I found in it was this: Mohler said he would strongly oppose any move to encourage abortion or genetic manipulation of fetuses on grounds of sexual orientation, but he would endorse prenatal hormonal treatment -- if such a technology were developed -- to reverse homosexuality. He said this would no different, in moral terms, to using
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Why It Sucks Not To Be Married
2007-03-16 03:28:00
Up until today, I was kind of a "fence sitter" when it came to gay marriage. See, before I met my wife, I was married twice to men, and trust me, I got no particular "benefit" out of either one of those doomed-from-the-start relationships. So, when I came out, and then later, when I met HER, and we talked about making that commitment, I thought, well, we'll just do everything via the legal
More About: Suck , Arri , Sucks , Married

Am I The Only One?
2007-03-06 17:54:00
It seems like everywhere I go, every time I meet one of us--be them gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered, etc--every time I read a blog or profile...I see, "Kristy and her partner Jane have been together for 13 years" or hear "My partner and I are coming up on our 9-year anniversary." Whoa. I've never even been in a relationship for a good three years, let alone some of these numbers I see. The
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National Self Injury Awareness Day
2007-03-04 23:58:00
Approximately 1% of the United States population uses physical self-injury as a way of dealing with overwhelming feelings or situations, often using it to speak when no words will come. Despite the fact that self-injury is far from rare, myths and misunderstanding surround this psychological ailment -- mistaken ideas that often result in self-harmers being treated badly by police, doctors,
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Meet the Parents
2007-03-04 21:51:00
In 5 days I will be meeting my fiance's parents. I am traveling with her to NC for her Spring break. For the past few days I have been having bad dreams about meeting them--yesterday in particular. First I dreamed that M and I got into our first fight and broke up. After waking up from that one, almost in tears, I went back to sleep. Then I had a horrible nightmare. I was at her parent's house.
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Marriage--Gay or Straight
2007-03-04 09:22:00
First of all, I'm new on the scene! :) I've been wondering what might be a good way to get my feet wet here, and I realized tonight while I was out that I had something. For some reason, oftentimes when something bothersome happens, I can't really put my finger on what it is or that I am actually bothered by it. That happened to me earlier this week while I was doing an interview for a summer
More About: Marriage , Stra , Arri , Straight , TRAI