Brain Clouds Brain Clouds Hi, I’m Kelly. I’m an almost thirty something single lesbian living back home with my parents in Michigan. I smoke, I’m overweight, and I hate vegetables. I never finished college, don’t own much of anything, and can’t save money for shit. Articles
She and I
2006-08-07 19:15:02 “I feel like I’m drowning.” Her eyes were bright green from crying. It was one of the first moments my mom and I have had alone since all of this has happened. She is in the anger stage of grief. She told me she just wanted to hit something. She also said she wished it was her and not my father that had the cancer. “I would be able to take it better.” She said. Yesterday I found out the cancer has spread to his bones. He will start taking chemo next Wednesday. It may slow down the growth, but it is not a cure. Everyone continues to be as positive as possible. The Realist in me has a different approach than most. I don’t want to lose my dad to this. I don’t want him to have to go through what lies ahead. He told me in the beginning of all of this that everyone has to go sometime. I feel fortunate, and will not take a moment for granted any longer. Many people pass away in an instant without knowing it. They don’t get a chance to say the...
One of those phone calls you never want to receive
2006-08-07 19:15:02 It’s Adenocarcinoma Stage IV. I don’t think I can handle anymore bad news. My mind wants to shut down. All I want to do is sleep and not think about what all of this means. I came home to my dad eating a giant bowl of ice cream. It’s been so long since I’ve seen him eat anything unhealthy. My dad is a type 2 diabetic. He was able to go off of his insulin over a year ago due to eating right and exercise. Now it’s not too worried about his sugar and I can understand why. I have been doing research on line. Not much is positive, especially now that we know he’s stage IV. I’ve never felt so distant from the world and my friends. Not even when I have my months where I don’t leave the house. The lessons all of this has taught me are tremendous. I’m sure there are more to come and honestly I’d been fine if I could stop learning. I’m not sure I have enough hope. I’m not sure I have enough strength to get through this. More About: Phone , Calls , Those , Ever , Call
Protected: Making it Easier
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My Pastey White Red Hot Ass (And Face Apparently)
2006-08-07 19:15:02 The past month or so I have been going to a friends house for good company, a pool, and a hot tub. With my brother’s wedding less than two weeks away I have been wanting to get a bit of sun. Being of the large variety I haven’t dared to go to a tanning salon. Screw the booths and the stand ups! Well today ladies and gentlemen, this fat bitch got some S-U-N! Maybe it was while playing catch with the football in the pool. Perhaps it was while three of us decided to get a whirl pool going. Then again it could have been when my unsunscreened ass just sat there with my eyes closed starring at the giant orb of fire. I have freckles where I didn’t know I had freckle. I could fry an egg to perfection on my fucking cheeks. The greatest thing about all of this is the white trash farmers tan on my arms that I will be showing to family, friends, and strangers in my pink brides maid dress on the 18th. It’s so not good to be me at the moment. More About: White , Face , Past , Rent , Paste
Protected: Dreams
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Summer Breeze, Makes Me Feel Fine
2006-08-07 19:15:02 It’s Sunday, and as of right now that means poolside at my friends house. It’s going to be a hot one today and I’m excited. My goal is to sweat out all the worry I have had the past two weeks. I’m tired this morning. Tired of thinking about all that has been on my mind. I have learned a lot in the past few days. I have rekindled the notion of how important family can be. My Aunt and Uncle have been in town from Florida for the weekend. We sat around the table last night and spoke of memories. We laughed and cried. Nothing much seems to matter to me lately other than being with those who I love. I need to thank those that have made an effort to be there for me and my family through all of this. The phone calls and your presence have been a beautiful distraction. Today I will forget, if only for a moment, what we are going through as a family. Today I will pretend, if only for a few hours, that everything is going to be okay. I won’t worry that I’m ... More About: Summer , Breeze , Make , Fine , Feel
Remember When
More articles from this author:2006-08-07 19:15:02 Sitting on my front porch, which is really my parent’s porch, I watched a little boy driving around in one of those kid cars. His grandparents, the couple across the street, own two of those cars. One’s a Hummer and the other is some sort of Barbie Jeep. It seems that on this day the little boy chose the Barbie Jeep opposed to the Hummer. I heard his Grandfather tell him he could only ride from the drive way to the left of their house, and to the one on the right. He turned around in the driveway to the right and then made a B-line down the street passed the safe driveway on the left. Grandpa had to get up from his white plastic drug store chair and yell at him to come back once he finally stopped four houses down. It made me remember how far away the other side of the street always seemed to me as a kid. I can remember my mom telling me that I couldn’t go around the block when the training wheels of my bike finally came off. I’m pretty sure that going around... More About: When 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 |
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