toxickmuse -- a mystic in an occultist's worldtoxickmuse -- a mystic in an occultist's worldusing what is denied, denigrated and despised to disrupt personal and cultural stagnation.
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::sigh:: and so it begins?
2007-04-18 19:21:00 The Supreme Court sure won’t volunteer to raise these babies. i want the high court out of my body, thank you very much. i wouldn’t f@ck samuel alito or john roberts no matter how much tequila i’d had…. Share This More About: Sigh
dead buddha in the middle of the road
2007-04-16 19:14:00 the weirdest thing about all this is that i don’t really have a personal god anymore. i haven’t been able to look at divine forces with a human (or even animal) face in years. the old zen koan says “if you meet the buddha on the road, kill him” and it holds true for every ... More About: Buddha , Middle , Dead , Road , The Road
a word from our sponsors?
2007-04-16 06:44:00 posted for WU’s birthday. at least if it’s here, i can be reasonably sure he’ll see it. now back to our regularly scheduled self-referential masochistic displays…. Share This More About: Word , Sponsors , Sponsor
meeting god in darkness
2007-04-12 19:08:00 sometime in the wee hours of the night. our older dog’s downstairs, whining to be let out. suddenly i’m awake, and cold. husband gets up to let kira out. i burrow under the covers, looking for warmth and the last remnants of my night’s sleep. no good. fragments of the phone conversation i’d had earlier with ... More About: God , Dark , Ness , Darkness , Meeting
the red pool
2007-04-10 19:15:00 dreaming… i was standing in a room or building structured completely of glass. light from the outside refracted from room to room so that the source of the illumination seemed to come from everywhere at once. even me. i lifted my hands, gazed at them wonderingly. they seemed to glow, just like the rest of my body, ... More About: Pool
another chat with fenriswolf
2007-04-10 18:20:00 FenrisWolf : It’s a reminder. t_muse: What’s a reminder? t_muse: Oh, the check? FenrisWolf: t_muse: You’re probably right. FenrisWolf: It’s not enough to do anything FenrisWolf: but its there. t_muse: I think I glimpse the lesson outline here. t_muse: He’s rubbing my nose in “failure” over and over again until I get over myself about it. FenrisWolf: I think the question ... More About: Chat , Hat , Another
today?s score: odin 1, muse 0
2007-04-10 06:19:00 in today’s mail was the first check i’ve ever received from my POD publisher. it wasn’t much of a check. a token, really, for the last two years of (almost non) sales. but still… it was a check, right there in my hands. i could almost hear odin’s laughter as i stared at it for several minutes, ... More About: Today , Core , Muse , Score , Odin
it?s the attitude, baby?.
2007-04-08 04:54:00 i think it was dion fortune who defined magic as “the art of changing consciousness at will.” great. that’s one way to put it. by studying magic(k) in any of its forms, you are by default learning the ins and outs of your own psyche. you’re learning to become aware of things you’d never noticed before. ... More About: Baby , Attitude , The A
on failure?
2007-04-07 00:59:00 the old dog’s learning: Try as hard as we may for perfection, the net result of our labors is an amazing variety of imperfectness. We are surprised at our own versatility in being able to fail in so many different ways. –Samuel McChord Crothers it was on my google homepage today. told you he was reading along. More About: Failure , Lure
danger: you?re boring me
2007-04-06 21:34:00 but i won’t bore any of us with last night’s dream. it was a reiteration of the same theme, this one featuring being trapped on an atoll in the pacific with the mother of all storms overwhelming that little sand patch –and me — with ridiculous ease. even though I woke up greatly disturbed and ... More About: Ring , Anger , Danger , Boring
my heart going ?boom boom boom??
2007-04-05 17:20:00 i was standing in a darkened room, the only light coming from the displays on consoles and screens all around me. tactical, i thought to myself, watching red dots and green dots swirl through madcap dances. i was wearing a form-fitting jumpsuit and boots. at my side was a soft-sider briefcase with a shoulderstrap. the tension ... More About: Hear , Heart , Boom , Boom Boom , Going
more than this
2007-04-04 17:58:00 i had spent most of yesterday feeling as if i were being pulled forward and to one side somehow, by something i couldn’t see or sense. an edgy, weird (wyrd) day, one where i actually slept for over an hour in the late afternoon. i never do this, have never been able to do this. ... More About: This , More
it can never be a completely bad week?
2007-04-02 18:53:00 Share This More About: Comp , Week , Ever , Never , Complete
chocolate jesus: he?ll melt in your mouth
2007-04-01 20:41:00 web-cruising this morning and ran across this news article from the LA Times’ Times Wire. it is very short, so i’ll quote it all here, and i’m sure it made the baby jesus cry. Outcry melts plans for chocolate Jesus A planned Holy Week exhibition of a nude, anatomically correct chocolate sculpture of Jesus was canceled after ... More About: Your , Chocolate , Cola , Mouth
www update
2007-03-30 21:12:00 on march 22nd i had written and posted an article (entitled words, wonderings and workings, to explain the title of this entry) which, almost as an afterthought, mentioned a working i’d done with a gentleman friend of mine. it involved ritual space, clear intention, sex magick, and one hell of a lot of energy. so ... More About: Update
Valuing Life
2007-03-30 03:50:00 this is something i wrote almost two years ago now, for another blog: On stem cells, roses, and the fallacies inherent in the “culture of life” philosophy. All life has intrinsic value. I was inspecting our new roses this weekend, removing pests, fertilizing the soil after this month’s nearly incessant rains, removing any weeds lest the beautiful, ... More About: Life
words, wonderings, and workings
2007-03-22 18:04:00 Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome. –Isaac Asimov “Everything we shut our eyes to, everything we run away from, everything we deny, denigrate, or despise, serves to defeat us in the end. What seems nasty, painful, evil, can become a source of beauty, joy, and strength, if faced with an open mind. Every moment ... More About: Word , Work , Words , Ring , Rings
a plea from somafm.com
2007-03-10 04:18:00 THIS is the true radio piracy: The Copyright Royalty Board has announced new copyright licensing fees for internet radio stations. The new fees are a staggering increase over our previous annual royalty rate of about $22,000 to over $600,000 for 2006. And the fees are even higher in 2007, based on our current listenership, they’ll be ... More About: Soma
my tattoo, finally!
2007-03-09 17:58:00 some of you may remember seeing this last year: if you did, you may also be interested to know that through the good offices of my son i managed to find a tattoo artist interested in doing the work. i turned the sketch over to him and he’s turning it into art as we speak (i ... More About: Tattoo , Final , Finally , Atto , Fina
weird wonders at the toxick temple
2007-03-08 05:55:02 we were awakened this morning to the lovely sound of hundreds of pounds of steel scraping the road in front of our house. not once, but 3 times. turns out all that yattering and clattering on the roof at some zero-hour this morning was sleet and hail — quite a bit of it. the ground this morning is white, almost completely covered with it. EDIT: forgot to add that one of our alder trees fell last night — looks like it slid down the bank into the ravine next to the house…. this is a very unusual occurence for right here on the coast. so was the thunder and lightning last night, in fact. it’s very strange to this midwestern girl, to experience storms in the middle of winter — but that’s when they have ‘em here. i am reading mistress of spices by chitra banerjee divakaruni. not that far into it yet, but i can see already that it’s a book i’m going to want to review — lush imagery, vivid prose, intriguing background story, a... More About: Weird , Temple , Wonders , Wonder , Toxic
crystal work/basic tune up
2007-03-08 05:55:02 i ventured out into a blustery storm to do a crystal session today. i haven’t gotten to work with my rocks for a long time. they’ve been sitting around my living room for a couple of months now, basically unemployed. kinda like me, actually. so, it was very cool to be called on to use this knowledge, these skills again. i had nearly forgotten what pleasure there is in working with the stones. k wasn’t hurting or out of whack or anything — she just wanted a “tune up,” what basically serves as a minor realignment of the energy field. as i pulled the stones together this morning, i found myself wondering if i remembered what each stone was, and its special properties. i was relieved to discover that, as i rinsed them, dried them, handled them, that i remembered a lot more than i thought i would. i’ve been building this collection for years and years now. a portable clear quartz generator, my cabochon chakra set, the tiny multi-colored tourmalin... More About: Work , Crystal , Basic , Tune
don?t say you weren?t warned
2007-03-08 05:55:02 on march 15th, botch is going to be closing down the submissions for the new Pirate Pages. for those of you who are procrastinating on submitting your material, let me offer you this incentive: during a brain seizure or some other equally hideous loss of normal consciousness, i submitted not one but TWO poems as potential content for the next issue. honestly, i don’t know what came over me. i am not a poet. i read this stuff in the aftermath and i’m thinking “vogon poetry.” i’m going to inflict this on my fellow freqs? or liberati, or whatever we’re calling ourselves now? please, people. submit something. anything! if there’s enough content he won’t use those hideous pieces of intellectual masturbation. save yourselves. save us all — get your stuff in asap! More About: War
?traveling the marshes?
2007-03-08 05:55:02 “Travel ing the marshes” = the newest (and probably one of the oldest) euphemisms for sexual intercourse. Archeologists appear to have excavated evidence amid the ruins of a Temple in Luxor of an annual rite that featured anonymous, orgiastic sex, drugs, barrels of booze, and what must have been the ancient Egyptian equivalent of rock and roll. This “festival of drunkenness” celebrated the salvation of humanity (a noble cause) with the ruins dating as far back as 1470 BCE. Betsy Bryan, an archeologist from John’s Hopkins University has been spearheading an excavation of the “Temple of Mut” since 2001 and presented her findings during the New Horizons in Science briefing, presented by the Council for the Advancement of Science Writing. “We are talking about a festival in which people come together in a community to get drunk. Not high, not socially fun, but drunk knee-walking, absolutely passed-out drunk.” According to this artic... More About: Mars , Rave , Traveling
this guy?s a pro
2007-03-08 05:55:02 i swear he is. he can’t IM me without making me smile… and rather wickedly at that. (10:40:38) humboldtgrowl: hey your pretty hot…wanna talk to me? (10:40:52) toxickmuse: i’d love to stroke your ego, baby. (10:40:58) humboldtgrowl: sweeeet (10:41:09) toxickmuse: how are you, honey? (10:41:24) humboldtgrowl: wanting your hands on me. (10:43:49) toxickmuse: so is it your shoulders and back that are stiff, or is it something else? (10:44:15) humboldtgrowl: good question most perceptive one (10:44:25) humboldtgrowl: both Id have to say (10:44:29) toxickmuse: good answer. he makes me wish i could rearrange my schedule today… i wouldn’t get anything done… except him, of course… More About: This
whammies
2007-03-08 05:55:02 as in, two from out of the blue this morning (well, three, but i’m only going to talk about two of them here) to shake up whatever passes for reality here at the toxick temple. these two came from rob brezsny’s FreeWill Astrology newsletter. the first was the opener: “If you desire to know where your spiritual work lies, look to your emotional pain.” –Alan Cohen, “Wisdom of The Heart” i suspect that’s probably pretty good advice. where was the man when i was asking this question ten years ago? next, the actual weekly forecast for sagittarius: SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): The phase you’re entering may prove to be ridiculously confounding — ridiculous both in the sense of absurdly extreme and very funny. Yet the immediate future also promises to provide you with unprecedented opportunities to outgrow limitations you may have imagined were permanent. To honor this synergistic blend of slapstick confusion and juicy potentia... More About: Wham
your politics are boring as fuck
2007-03-08 05:55:02 from one of my new favorite websites, crimethinc.com. no, i’m not going to reproduce the whole thing here — click your mouse and go read it, fer crissakes! but, a few excerpts…. You know it’s true. Otherwise, why does everyone cringe when you say the word? Why has attendance at your anarcho-communist theory discussion group meetings fallen to an all?time low? Why has the oppressed proletariat not come to its senses and joined you in your fight for world liberation? … When you make politics into a lifeless thing, a joyless thing, a dreadful responsibility, it becomes just another weight upon people, rather than a means to lift weight from people. And thus you ruin the idea of politics for the people to whom it should be most important. For everyone has a stake in considering their lives, in asking themselves what they want out of life and how they can get it. But you make politics look to them like a miserable, self-referential, pointless middle class/... More About: Politics , Your , Ring , Boring , Poli
nostalgia
2007-03-08 05:55:02 When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro. — Hunter S. Thompson i saw him speak in kentucky when i was at university. he sat there drinking (scotch? or was it gin? i can’t remember) liquor in a dry county and trashed kentucky thoroughly, along with the current administration (i’m not telling), religion, journalists and journalism; we laughed and he would excoriate us for laughing. god, we loved every minute of it. More About: Nostalgia
opening gambits
2007-03-08 05:55:02 you gotta admire this guy’s style… or at least, i do: (11:41:02) humboldtgrowl: did you say you wanted to stroke my ego today? (11:41:18) toxickmuse: =chuckle= i may have said that… (11:41:28) humboldtgrowl: oh wait that was a cucumber salad we were going to have (11:41:45) toxickmuse: before or after armageddon? (11:42:02) humboldtgrowl: both so we can decide which we like better friday the 13th is definitely my lucky day… More About: Open , Opening , Ambit
a healer?s magick
More articles from this author:2007-03-08 05:55:02 of what use is it, i wonder, to speak of mindfulness to a generation that grew up multitasking? can the quiet, subtle peace of complete surrender to the one task at hand possibly compete in allure with the bright, glittering, ubiquitous sideshows that divide attention, again and again, into minutiae? i don’t know. these are the old ways, the mysteries of an older time. perhaps they have no relevance for today, or tomorrow. they are my mysteries, and in the telling of them i’ve revealed nothing of them, but only mySelf… it begins with finding that moment of peace within. somewhere inside is a relic of the stillness from which we all come, to which we all someday must go. the challenge is to quiet the mind, to still its helter-skelter scatterings, to let go of the thoughts that intrude unwelcome into that growing peace. let go and let go and let go, circling in from the frenetic rim of careening carousel-circling and right in to where there is nothing at all… t... More About: Magic , Magick , Heal 1, 2 |
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