A Smeddling Kiss

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Is This Thing On? (70/365)
2007-04-12 23:11:00
Amazing how fast a week goes by when you aren't having fun, right?We had tons 'o dental fun, including 2 more tooth extractions (Pepper) combined with my continued surgical recovery. We then had fever and upper respiratory gooeyness (Pepper), followed by sore throat and fever (me), followed by yet more upper respiratory goo (Peanut). I even stayed home from the family get-together on Easter, having woken with such a sore throat that even chocolate bunnies couldn't tempt me out of my pajamas.By Tuesday night, my darling husband was moping around sounding congested, so we've had our first official 4-in-1 cold of the year. It's pretty rare that all of us pass the same thing around within a week, but when it does happen, we are a miserable bunch to behold.We are all on the mend, though. In fact, I am practically crapping rainbows and unicorns today, having gotten my stitches out this morning. Do you know why I am so happy about this? It's not that the stitches were bugging me or...
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Fresh Out Of The Funny (69/365)
2007-04-05 15:39:00
It's been kind of a strange week. I'm still tweaking my anti-depressant, which takes a few weeks of decreasing one and building up to full dosage on the other, and I just feel... off.When I pause to re-read that, it sounds so wrong. "Off" is such a weak word to describe how many fits and starts I've gone through mentally, how much second guessing and double thinking I've been doing. More important, and the reason I decided to make a change in my meds, it how heavy the disinclination to do much of anything or think about it all hangs on me like a blanket. My thinking switch has been pushed to the "Off" position, and I'm waiting for another week to see if the new anti-depressant can jiggle the switch and get it working again.Words are not coming easily to me, which is painful for someone who delights in finding the exact precise description of well, everything. My lack of focus is astounding - days go by before I realize that some crucial deadline has slipped by. What I want more...
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Tonight's Easter Conversation (68/365)
2007-04-03 05:14:00
Peanut: (hopping around kitchen) HOP! HOPPITY! HOP HOP HOP HOP HOP!Dr. V.: He's hopping again.Me: Don't complain, at least he's not leaving rabbit pellets around anymore.Peanut: (Hopping, then miming pulling something out of his rear end and holding it up for inspection) WHAT'S DIS IN MY BUM? AN EASTER EGG?!?!Dr. V.:....Me:.....Peanut: What is inside dis egg? What could it be??? (Pretends to crack egg...)Dr. V. and I, simultaneously: NOT IT!
More About: Easter , Tonight , Sati , Conversation , Toni

The Wind in the Willowzzzzzzzzzz. (67/365)
2007-04-02 05:21:00
I believe I may have found the solution to our never-ending bedtime routine. Pepper brought home a beautifully illustrated copy of "The Wind in the Will ows" as her library book choice for the week, and we have been faithfully plowing through it each evening. The first few nights, I found myself gasping like a novice singer, trying to get the pacing and the breathing correct for the paragraph-long sentences. I've hit my stride in the last few readings, however, and am really enjoying rolling my tongue around the language. I was just getting into the rhythm tonight, when I realized that Pepper was totally out for the count...again. Each night, she's been falling asleep within 10 minutes of my starting to read to her, which is a blessed miracle. Usually, I read a chapter or two of whatever book we are in the middle of, and then she complains when I warn her we will be done at the end of the chapter, and then I say we are done, and then she complains some more and phlumphs around in h...
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Harry Potter and the Shiny Clean House. (66/365)
2007-03-31 16:07:00
Pepper and I watched the edited-for-tv first "Harry Potter " movie a few weekends ago. She did pretty well, although a few of the special effects were too intense for her. We got around that by doing our version of the "earmuffs" trick Vince Vaughn uses on his son in the movie "Old School."If you don't know what the hell I'm talking about, you can watch the clip here:In our house, I say, "SCARY PART!" and she claps her hands over her eyes until I tell her it's safe to look. Most kids, this probably wouldn't work, but she's such a rule follower that she is rarely tempted to peek. I love that we have finally reached the age where she knows that if she does peek and gets scared, I don't want to hear her moan about it.The Family Channel obviously nailed their demographic and figured out that a lot of moms would be watching the movie with their kids to monitor the fright factor. It was a little odd, though, because there were no commercials for kids, no fruit snacks or gum or surfin...
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Gimme The Good Drugs, Please! (65/365)
2007-03-29 21:21:00
I took a second Vicodin about 30 minutes ago, and it is beginning to kick in. Before I drift off to sleep, I thought I'd share my delightful morning with y'all.The dentist gave me Novocaine, and we waited for me to get numb. As usual, my freakish nervous system/metabolism/whatever required about 3 separate attempts before I was truly numb. We've all agreed that I will have to come 30 minutes early for future dental appointments just to get the Novocaine to work. Then the dentist cut away my gums from the teeth I am having crowns put on, and removed some of my jawbone. He needed to remove enough bone to expose a little more of the root of the tooth to allow space for the gum in between the bone and the bottom of the new crown to stay healthy. Then he stitched everything up and replaced the temporary crowns. I am going nighty-night now.
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Obligatory Bershon Post (64/365)
2007-03-26 20:29:00
When my father retired the first time, he promptly got to work on a project of stunning magnitude. He began scanning in all of the family photos and papers left by the various branches of the family. Thanks to my dad, I have digital copies of everything from telegrams sent by my great uncle during World War II to the program from my starring gig in my high school musical.Up until this weekend, though, the CDs were packed away in the basement from our move almost 2 years ago. I was working on organizing the office and I went down to the basement to see if I could find some office supply stuff we'd packed away. The first box I opened had all the CDs my dad made, and I spent some happy time going through all the pictures on my laptop, making the kids play "Guess That Baby!"I read this piece reminding me of the joys of bershon on BlogHer over the weekend, so the coincidence of finding the old photo CDs was perfect timing. I have browsed through the Flickr pool now and again, and while ...
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Ouch! (63/365)
2007-03-25 20:54:00
I was going to write a longer, more thoughtful post today, but after my latest bonehead move, I'm giving myself the day off from thinking. Dr. V. took the kids up to Boston again, and I'm such an idiot, I bought them tickets for the WRONG stage show performance. Instead of 2 p.m., I accidentally bought them for the 5 p.m. show. This is a problem, because it is still a long haul back to our house after they are all done up there. If they go and stay for the whole show, they won't get home until after 9 p.m., so I've ruined their big day out. This was the final blow to my fragile ego today. Dr. V. and I went out last night, and it was not one of our better evenings. It culminated with a trip to a pub to hear some music where I - no shit - got beaned on the head by a hefty wooden plaque honoring the pub's participation in some charity work. It hurt, yeah, but then it was just embarrassing, because they immediately cleared a table for us and kept coming over to check and see if I w...
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The Stars? They Were Aligned! (62/365)
2007-03-23 20:21:00
Apparently, the Universe totally approves of my Evil Plan to scare off any incompatible neighbors!Pepper stayed home from school today, even though she is feeling much better. She watched TV and played by herself while I did the typical morning stuff. Coffee, shower, Bloglines - all the basics. At one point, I noticed another car parked out in front of the empty lot next door. Quickly, I called up to Pepper to run out and grab the paper from the driveway. Whaaaaaaat?!? It's a perfectly normal thing for her to do, and remember - I want to impress on potential purchasers their proximity to small children should they choose to build next door to us. Imagine my delight when Pepper tromped down the stairs clad in her Halloween costume from last year! I had to laugh at the perfect timing of it all, and I watched happily from inside as Pepper made her way back with the paper clutched in 2 of her 8 arms. I wasn't convinced that the universe was winking at me, however, until a few ...
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So. Much. Fun. (61/365)
2007-03-23 05:37:00
Just so you know, I'm being all crazy and sarcastic and ironical like when I say I'm having a fun week. Because - just so we are clear on this - I'm not. Today's little made-up humming-in-my-head theme song was sung to the tune of "Zippity Doo Dah," only replace "zippity" with "suckity." While you are at it, you might as well replace "what a wonderful day" with "what a shitty bad day" and I can stop writing this post right now.Yesterday was tons o' fun, too, so let's start there. Pepper had to have 2 teeth extracted, due to the massive overcrowding in her mouth. She actually did pretty well, thanks to another one of my patented Not-So-Evil Plans. In our house, getting teeth pulled means a trip to the nearest Build-A-Bear Workshop store. Not only does it give her something fun to anticipate after the procedure, it also effectively eliminates all requests to go there for anything less traumatic than teeth pulling. The extraction was pretty easy, and she was almost calm about the...
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Good Thing I Checked Her Backpack! (60/365)
2007-03-23 04:15:00
As extra-credit on the work her class is doing on 3-dimensional shapes, Pepper went around the house the other night collecting objects to bring into school. A Rectangular Prism:A Sphere:A Cube(We don't usually have Tiffany's boxes strewn around the house, really! This was from my big anniversary gift last summer. Pepper claimed it as her own as soon as she laid eyes on it.) It wasn't until the last item was dug out that I discovered her choice for a cylinder:After a short and pointed conversation, I convinced her to swap it out for a soup can. Uhm, no. Mommy doesn't think it would be a good idea for you to bring in her (empty) bottle of anti-depressants to share with the class.
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Quickie Post: Time Suck (59/365)
2007-03-22 01:01:00
Thanks to Karyn, for helping me waste a chunk of time this past week by featuring this on her blog: Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™
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Fair Warning (58/365)
2007-03-19 15:45:00
Our house is right next to the last empty lot on our street, and we have grown accustomed to the privacy and sense of space from not having a house next door. I like the relief of not having to constantly shush the kids from their caterwauling, knowing that the neighbors are just far enough away that they are probably not overly concerned by the screaming. There is little doubt in my mind that we are going to have neighbors soon, though, since the builders are now listing the lot for a full $100K less than they've had it listed for the last 18 months. Despite being resigned to the situation, I have a hard time trying to restrain myself from scaring away any potential buyers.We've seen some traffic out there the past few weeks, and last weekend, when it was beautiful outside, I noticed two cars parked at the street. I couldn't figure out where the people were, however, since it's a razed muddy field now that they cut down all the trees, but each time I looked out there, the cars ...
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Resistance Is Futile (57/365)
2007-03-17 19:26:00
Can you friggin' believe these socks? I have put off learning to knit socks because I know it could easily become an obsession, but I think I may have just been wooed to the dark side by the utter gorgeousness of this woman's work. Her name is Eunny Jang, and her designs are amazing, and I despair of ever being skilled enough to knit any of them. Every time I cruise through her site, I see more and more beautiful knitting. Maybe I'll start with some simpler socks, though!
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Comedy On The Road (56/365)
2007-03-17 04:20:00
Because our neighborhood is the last bus stop on the route, Pepper gets to spend some quality time riding the bus each afternoon. There are assigned seats on her bus, and for a while we had a lot of talk about how "mean" one of the girls she sat with was. Seat assignments recently changed, and she now sits near a boy who is apparently the funniest 3rd grader on the planet. Each day this week, she has come skipping off the bus singing a little song or chortling at a joke. Today's offerings were two songs and a joke. Here are the songs:1. "Yankee Doodle went to town, riding on a heater, accidently flipped a switch and burned his little weiner!"(HAAAHHAAAAHAHAHHA!!!)2. "Yankee Doodle went to town, riding on a baby, hit the ground and turned around and saw a naked lady!"(AAAHHHHAHAHHAHHHAHHHAAAAA!!)On to the joke. The joke involved so much helpless burbling laughter that she could barely even tell it to me, but I managed to get her to repeat it to me this evening while I taped ...
More About: Comedy , Come , Road , On The Road , The Road

Diggin' On It (03.14.07) and [55/365]
2007-03-14 22:10:00
I am diggin' on the new Boden catalog. Because of my egg-shaped torso waistly abundance, I don't usually buy from catalogs unless I have physically tried on an item and know it works for me. My inner thin person was quite tempted by this and this, but every time I splurge and buy something colorful that I love the look of, I end up not wearing it. I see it, I love it, I buy it, and then as I am getting dressed in it, I look in the mirror and think, "All I need to complete this outfit is a spongy red nose! Also? Some big floppy shoes and a bicycle horn!"This is why I have a closet full black clothes, none of which go together very well. It wasn't too difficult to restrain myself until I saw these: These shoes spoke to me. They said, "We are red, and while adding height to your stumpy frame, will not butcher your feet! You need to bring us home, because we will add zing to all of your boring black clothing! No one will notice that all your blacks don't match with us on your tootsi...
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Butt Mount! (54/365)
2007-03-12 13:54:00
God only knows what kind of hits I'm gonna get from that one, but honestly - how could I resist posting the tail end (ba dum chick!) of the Gangster Squirrel auction?Even better? The comment from one of the hundreds of satisfied customers who have purchased a fine specimen from - wait for it - "Rick's Custom Squirrels." I can't link to the individual comment that had me in hysterics, so I'll just post the photo from this particular auction and the buyer's comment:Buyer's comment:"Absolutely beautiful. 3 year old son loves our new member of the family, Rocky."
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Sandbagged? Check! (53/365)
2007-03-12 04:35:00
Last Thursday night, after a difficult session getting Peanut to bed, I went in to Pepper's room to tuck her in and read to her. After we finished, I turned down the light, and as she was settling in, she suddenly gasped and burst into tears."Aaaaaaaaahhhh! Ohnoooooo! I forgot to make my costume for the play tomorrow!""Wha..?""Waaaaaahhhh! I'm the Raccoon! I need to wear a sweater!""OK, we can pick out which one you want to wear tomorrow morning...""And a chrysalis! I need to make a chrysalis! And a maaaaaaaask!"More atonal moaning, but I talked her down from the ledge by agreeing to wake her up early the next morning and drive her to school so she could have more time to pull this stuff together.Cut to Friday morning, where I woke up thinking, "I better get out of bed now, because I need to wake up early." Then I went out to the kitchen, poured some coffee, and proceeded to read the paper for half an hour, until it was the normal time to wake the kids up. Which is when I remember...
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Odoriferous (52/365)
2007-03-10 00:26:00
I've always been overly-sensitive to smells. Ever since I was a kid, my smell associations have been remarkably strong. Chlorine, I'm sure, brings back pool memories for everyone. For me, though, it is the specific smell of the pool at my grandparents' house in Florida, circa 1978.Not just the pool, either, but the whole experience - waking up in the early morning darkness in frigid Pennsylvania, climbing into my grandpa's little 6-seat company plane, the saran-wrapped tray of little triangle tea sandwiches that always awaited us, the noise of the engines, the chance to sit in the cockpit with the pilot, Ed. My sisters and I would have our little travel desks with us, with coloring and books tucked inside, and the flight went on and on forever.Then we'd touch down at the desolate landing strip on Key Largo, the one my uncle once had to round up all his friends and train the headlights of their cars on because we'd arrived after the automatic lights had shut down for the night....

Boggling (51/365)
2007-03-09 15:16:00
While working on a post about the steps we are taking to green our home, I stumbled across this product, but I'll warn you right now that I threw up a little in my mouth when I clicked over the the website:BlingH20Look! Only $480 for a case of bottled water from Tennessee! Limited Edition water!

Crafty! (50/365)
2007-03-07 15:55:00
When winter sets in, I pick up the yarn.I've been working on this afghan for our living room. I'm winging it, if you couldn't tell by the utter randomness, just kind of juggling the stitch patterns and colors. I'm actually using this as a sort of learning sampler, since I've never ventured much beyond your basic stockinette stitch. I went to A.C. Moore last month and picked up a bunch of 25% off basic acrylic yarns in the colors of our furniture and FLOR tiles*, and there you have it. The nice thing about knitting an afghan, I'm discovering, is that once you get a foot or two on the needles, it's very cozy to knit with it stretched across your lap. Especially when it's 15 bloody degrees outside. In other "Craft y!" news, I am finally almost finished with this scarf. From what I can tell, it took me 17 months to knit. Working on that schedule, I should have all the ends woven in and the scarf blocked by July. * I am truly in love with the FLOR tiles. You pick them up, scrub th...

"I'm funny how? Funny like a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh?" (49/36
2007-03-06 20:05:00
Yes, little guy, you DO make me laugh. In fact, you are the best laugh I've had all day.It's really lucky I wasn't drunk when I stumbled across this listing, because my drunk self would TOTALLY pay $50 bucks for that!(Here's a hint: one of my favorite searches on eBay is "taxidermy.")
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Where's The Damn "OFF" Button? (48/365)
2007-03-05 17:59:00
Peanut's imagination has really taken off recently. Up until last fall, he wasn't verbalizing most of the stuff going on in his head, although we would hear bits and pieces of it, but his pronunciation was so poor that we couldn't even understand a lot of what he said. Unfortunately, that has all changed now. Don't get me wrong - I'm thrilled that his speech therapy is working and that his communication has improved 1000%. It's just a little overwhelming, is all I'm saying. A little LOUD, is all. A tad incessant, perhaps.Here is how my Sunday morning began: I roused when I heard the tap tap patter of little feet coming down the stairs. Peanut has lately taken to waking up early, so he climbed up to snuggle with me, and we lay there for a few minutes, him urgently whispering something about his ongoing dreams about "the number zero." I eventually told him to shush and drifted off again for a few minutes. Suddenly, I felt him jump out of bed, followed by this (high-volume) mono...
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Right Down The Turlet! (47/365)
2007-03-05 15:27:00
Lemme see, what's been going on around here other than my impulse purchases?Weeeeeeeeel, remember in "Airplane," where the Lloyd Bridges character keeps saying, "Looks like I picked a bad week to (insert vice here)?"Guess what we did 2 weeks ago? After much procrastination, and research, and discussion, we opened up an investment account! We sunk a chunk of money into the stock market! YAY US! Since we opened this up with long term goals (college) and are comfortable with market fluctuation and all that, we aren't all panicky and befuddled, but we *do* enjoy saying to each other, "Look like we picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue!" Dr. V. is calmly refusing to pay much attention to the latest market news, whereas I take perverse enjoyment in logging into the investment account so I can cheerfully yodel, "Another hundred dollars down the turlet, honey!"What can I say? We are fun people. Fun people with very bad timing. We couldn't have procrastinated another week, right? ...
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Yeah, He Wants Me. (46/365)
2007-03-03 18:25:00
I saw him staring at me from across the store. I was looking for the ATM, and I glanced past him, vaguely registering his interest. My nearsightedness, combined with years of city living, has left me with a habit of avoiding eye contact. If I become aware that someone is looking at me, I actively ignore it, so when I realized he really was looking directly at me, I didn't pause as I swept past him.Once I'd used the ATM, I turned and was struck by his gaze once more. I was taken aback by the directness in his eyes, and flustered, I felt he knew the cause of my own distraction. In fact, it seemed to amuse him. I'm usually intensely monogamous, but I couldn't deny my attraction. What can I say? I'm only human. I have my weaknesses. He came home with me that day, and I've had to hide him around the house several times to prevent discovery. I'll share his presence when I am good and ready, but for now he is all mine. In fact, we are alone in the house right now, and he's ...
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Back In The Groove (45/365)
2007-03-02 17:55:00
Actually, I'm not in the groove yet - I'm still skipping a little. (Ooooh, looky! A scratched record joke! Now I'm officially old.) I'm trying, but my brain just isn't cooperating. It doesn't feel like switching itself back on, the lazy thing. It kind of misses the narcotic cough syrup haze of last week, and the skipping analogy is pretty close, since I find myself doing a lot of repetitive "What was I doing?" and "Where did I put that?" behaviors.Yesterday was my first full-strength activity day, however. Dentist appointment, ran errands, signed Pepper up for swim lessons, volunteered in Pepper's class, had a haircut and color, the cleaners came, the works. It was exhausting!I ended up having a latte in the afternoon, which is probably the reason I didn't go to bed until 1 a.m., which is definitely the reason I'm still feeling out of it today. We are having quite a storm outside, with a couple large branches and small trees looking a little too horizontal not to be badly d...
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Problematic Hair Update (44/365)
2007-02-28 17:49:00
About a month ago, we got the little notice from the school that it was school picture time for Peanut. I wasn't sure how he would do, but I did ask our babysitter (a former hairstylist) to give him a haircut the week before. Having her cut his hair at home has been the only way we have been able to get him calm enough to avoid bloodshed, so when she forgot her scissors, I really wasn't up for traumatizing some other poor unsuspecting salon cutter. Frankly, I figured he'd refuse to sit still for his picture anyway.It turns out that he did great! He totally cooperated, and his teacher assured me that they got a really cute shot of him, which came home in his backpack today:It actually captures him perfectly. The big brown eyes, the engaging smile, the psychotic hair.I call this one "A Flock of Seagulls:"Here's the best one. It made me laugh and laugh when I saw it. This is a self-portrait he did at school. Like the hair? I fully expect this child to show up here, in the 2020 awa...
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Bogged Down (43/365)
2007-02-26 23:19:00
It's amazing how fast the days at the end of school vacation sped by. I keep sitting down to write a longer post, hoping to compose something worthy of reading. Instead, I find myself getting bogged down in old photos as I try to pull together a post about Pepper's birthday and the fact that my fabulous child is now 7.I don't seem to have all my stamina back after this recent illness, and so instead of posting about the end of the week and the books I've been reading and the birthday party, I'll post these few baby pictures and call it a night. Hopefully my act will pull itself together tomorrow.Can you believe this face?
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Sometimes They Get It Right. Or Not. (43/365)
2007-02-23 15:00:00
I'm terza rima, and I talk and smile.Where others lock their rhymes and thoughts awayI let mine out, and chatter all the while.I'm rarely on my own - a wasted dayIs any day that's spent without a friend,With nothing much to do or hear or say.I like to be with people, and dependOn company for being entertained;Which seems a good solution, in the end. What Poetry Form Are You?I would have to agree that the chattering part is dead on. It's hard to believe, given the volume of my output, but I do a LOT of self-editing on this blog. In person, I tend to be that person who never knows when to shut up. Except it's totally wrong about depending on other people for being entertained. I depend on other people for distraction from my own internal yammering.But wait! The quiz tells me that if I wasn't a terza rima, I'd be a sonnet:I am the sonnet, never quickly thrilled;Not prone to overstated gushing praiseNor yet to seething rants and anger, filledWith overstretched opinions to re...
More About: Time , They , Times , Right , Some

A Dream, Not My Own (42/365)
2007-02-23 00:41:00
My lovely husband was looking slightly bemused one morning, kind of shaking his head slightly as he made coffee. When I asked, he told me that he had a dream the night before that he had to treat the lead singer of the Arctic Monkeys. The singer had bone mets and was in so much pain he couldn't perform, so Dr. V. treated him so he could do the show.My interpretation is that the dream was triggered by all the cigarette imagery on the CD art, or this song:As far as Dr. V's dream, apparently it's not enough that he actually does that shit all day. He's got to dream about it, too. Fucking overachiever.
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