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Shutting Down
2008-01-22 19:07:00
Just wanted to post one last time... Life has gotten crazy. We've moved, but are in temp housing while we do some remodeling. Tiny Guy is doing great with all the changes, but mom is finding herself unable to keep up all the things she used to do. One of those things is the blog. I'm definitely going to create a new blog at some point, once we're settled... but it will probably look and feel quite different, and I'd like to offer something more useful than just a rundown on my own life. So until I'm settled and figure out what I'm going to blog about, I'm signing off.  Thanks to those who visited loyally (mom)...I have enjoyed the experience!Be well! 

Restoring Balance
2008-01-11 07:39:00
I'm back. Kind of. We're in the process of trying to buy a house... but we've left our east coast house. So my hubby is down in our new locale while I crash (with Tiny Guy) at my p arents' place. It's a bit fractured and disjointed... and isn't making it easier to restore any kind of normal...In fact, that's what I'm missing... when I do get to spend time with Hubby now, I don't feel like we're the same as we once were. Or rather, I dont' feel like I'm the same person I once was. I'm mommy now. I have a hard time finding myself feeling like "sexy young chick" or whatever the hell I was before my body became a human incubator, feeding system and full-time mobility device for a tiny person. I guess I'm having trouble defining myself within this new paradigm. It doesn't seem so hard for the hubby, and I think he's a little confused and disappointed by my less-than-hasty return to eager bedfellow and carefree spouse. I wish I could just flick a switch and get b...
More About: Balance

Absent but not forgotten
2007-12-16 03:15:00
I've been bad at writing, and I'm sorry. Now that I've been made aware that I have a few readers besides my mom (thanks, guys!), I feel that I should make a point of explaining (cuz my mom already knows why I haven't been posting much lately). My husband has finished the program that had us stationed here in MON, Maryland. So we are headed back to Cali, where we will live in...pretty much the middle of nowhere, California. But that's okay. The grandparents are all out there, and I'm not gonna complain about living near some kickass skiing and some good friends. I've missed that crazy messed up state if you wanna know the truth. There's a lot that sucks about California (the cost of living particularly), but it's home to me, so I can't help but be glad to be headed back. Anyway, we're heading home for the holidays to do some househunting and Christmasing, and then Tiny Guy and I will stay there. So things are kinda busy since we had in-laws here this weekend for hubby's g...
More About: Forgotten

Fatherhood...
2007-12-12 21:10:00
I was just starting to feel bitter. Bitter that it was MY body that had to go through all kinds of crazy transformations to make this small person; bitter that it was my most tender parts that had to actually produce the little guy and then slowly SLOWLY recover from that; bitter that it was MY body that still felt twisted and torn from trying so hard to feed the little dickens, only to learn that I wasn't doing a good job... I was starting to resent the husband. I resented that he got to go to work every day while my life ran on an endless three-hour loop. I resented that he did daddy duty when it seemed easy, but that it was always me that was up in the middle of the night and always me who was singing silly songs and pacing when I wanted to be doing almost anything else. I was just feeling drained. And tired. And angry... and totally unappreciated. I was feeling like we were going to have to sit down for an "LF talk" (as one of my good friends calls these husband-right...
More About: Marriage , Knocked Up , Breastfeeding , Fatherhood , Fath

Grand Finale
2007-12-07 20:40:00
Okay. I'm done. I have a virus on my left nipple and the doctor said that if my right doesn't hurt it's only because I've lost all sensation there -- she said there was scarring and bruising all around it and that it might just be time to wean. I thought about weaning on the "bad" side only. But I think I'm ready to give up the fight. Tiny Guy is 4 months on Monday. I wanted to get to 6, but I never imagined it'd be such a battle. There is a lot of guilt associated with this decision. There is a lot of propaganda out there directed at new moms that can make you feel terrible if breastfeeding is somehow not for you. I would have liked to continue... I feel like I really gave it my best shot. It's just taken over my life for months now, and not in a good way. I'll miss that specific kind of bonding with my son -- looking down at his tiny arms clutching onto me, feeling his cheek against my skin... but I think that we'll both benefit from the time we get back, time t...
More About: Breastfeeding , Finale , Grand

The Universe is Testing Me...
2007-12-06 20:53:00
Ugh, I don't even want to write this... the horrible boob is doing horrible things again. Woke up this morning knowing I was firmly on the road toward mastitis again... lots of plugged ducts, the whole thing hard and red. Poor Tiny Guy has a bad cold and isn't enjoying nursing -- when I need him most! I guess this was all caused by a milk blister, which was sitting next to the constantly oozing yeasty site on what was once my nipple... (I know, tmi). The lactation consultant suggested that I take to it with a sterilized needle, which I did...which seemed to help... but not completely. And the constant pumping and nursing to keep it all clear is just stimulating the milk supply and on and on. I'm seeing a doctor tomorrow to culture the wound, the words staph and MRSA have been mentioned, which terrify me. That will mean MORE antibiotics, which might mean MORE yeast, just when I'm getting it under control and am mostly not in pain and am back on eating whatever the hell I please. ...
More About: Universe , Testing , Breastfeeding , The Universe , Univers

Turdtastic
2007-12-04 01:00:00
When Tiny Guy first came to live with us, he pooped every time he ate. This was not as disgusting as one might have thought... the poops were oozy, but small and well-contained in his teeny little diapers. As he got bigger, he'd launch out an ocassionally more disgusting version of the same stuff -- once launching it all the way across the room. Er, actually, he did that twice. But now, now that Tiny Guy is almost 4 months old, he poops only once each day. You might think that this would be a relief - far fewer smelly diapers to change, right? In a way it is... but I think it's a tradeoff. When that one comes, it's almost always a BIG one. A BIG, very smelly one. And often, he manages to shoot it in a direction that severely challenges the design of modern diapers. He needs diapers that have longer legs -- like shorts. And that also have a taller waist, maybe something that loops around his shoulders. Almost every other day, his one big poop becomes a blowout. Up the back, out th...

The Magic Button?
2007-11-26 15:35:00
Okay, the boob issue is not resolved, but I'm sick of talking about it. I'm still on that irritating diet, and evidently I eat a lot of sugar regularly, because I've lost a couple pounds this past week by just not eating any. (Oh, that and not eating anything else that I normally eat... If you're interested in the stupid candida diet, look here.) The good news is that, in combination with ketoconozale (I asked for Diflucan, but I won't even go into the black hole that is military medicine...and no, generics are not actually the same as the name brand. but that's a different post), it seems to be working. Wish us luck.  SO...Tiny Guy takes naps. But not very well. He takes about 4 naps a day, and he pretty much settles right down to sleep. Weirdly, he sleeps for exactly 45 minutes almost every time. I mean EXACTLY. I have heard stories -- fairytales, perhaps -- of babies of his age sleeping for 1.5-2 hours at a stretch for at least one nap a day. I'm not saying I don't l...
More About: Magic , Button

Not Ready to Give Back the Baby...
2007-11-18 21:03:00
BUT... this breastfeeding thing is seriously bringing me down.It was so easy for the first two and a half months. No problems. No issues. Just feeding the baby, la dee da... And now, I cannot escape the torment that my left booby is putting me through. Thrush. Then Mastitis, and now MUCH worse thrush from the antibiotics. And yes, I am appreciative that my right boob hasn't decided to join the insurgence. But after using Nystatin, and now Gentian Violet, I'm forced to move on to drastic measures. I've boiled all my bras. My nipples are purple (the Gentian Violet), along with Tiny Guy's mouth. I am off dairy, sugar, complex carbs and anything else that yeast can live on (bye bye wine... so sad...) If I eat it, they eat it, so that means nothing but protein and simple carbs (veggies. Ick.) I guess at least I might lose those last few baby pounds this way... I'm taking probiotics. I'm using a vinegar wash after each feeding. I'm boiling everything that comes in contact with mout...
More About: Baby , Back , Give , Ready

Breast Betrayal!
2007-11-07 14:54:00
I would like to officially invite my left breast to secede from the union. (the union being the rest of my body). I hate this breast. HATE IT. I used to like my left breast. Or at least I was happily involved in a symbiotic relationship with it. We both existed peacefully together. Then I had a tiny person. And the left breast (and the right) became milk spigots. I bravely closed my eyes to the fact that the girls were now simply functional, no longer something to be propped up in attractive clothing or considered in any way sexual. Nope, these puppies were breakfast, lunch and dinner. That was it. And that was fine. And then in week 2, I got "thrush." All the books say this is no big deal. I treated it as advised with Nystatin for me and Tiny Guy, and it went away. All was well. I was a milk machine. I could feed my baby and didn't need any outside help to do so. (Unless you count that horrific pump.)Fast forward to week 11. The left breast must've been plotting that wh...
More About: Breast , Betrayal , Tray

Can't Tell Time
2007-11-02 13:42:00
Another example of how having a baby f*#ks with your mind... This conversation transpired this MONDAY...ME: Aren't we supposed to turn the clocks back soon? Wait, I think we missed it! I think we're supposed to do it now.HUBBY: I don't know, I always forget. ME: Crap! I think we just totally forgot. I suck. I'm so out of it!HUBBY: No, wait, I think we always do it on a Sunday.ME (exasperated at Hubby's lameness):  Today IS Sunday! Loser...HUBBY: It's not Sunday.ME (Very confidently, dripping with sarcasm): Oh, Isn't it?HUBBY: Uh, no. I went to work today. It's Monday. Loser. ME: Oh. So what about the clocks? Oh wait, here, it's on the Internet. It's THIS Sunday. Okay. Oops. HUBBY (in very irritating mimicky voice that makes me want to strangle him): Oh, Isn't it? Loser.Dammit.Don't forget to turn your clocks back this weekend. 
More About: Time

Dare to Wear a Sweater?
2007-10-29 14:52:00
Well, it's taken an entire month longer than expected, but finally the fall has fallen. Or so it seems. Today the high here in the Middle of Nowhere is predicted to reach a chilly 56 degrees Fahrenheit. And while I'm still struggling to take off these last ten baby pounds (though I don't expect that just dropping these will magically return my waist or boobs to their former locations...dammit), the cooler weather makes me want to be in the kitchen whipping up hearty Autumn-inspired dinners and desserts. I do use a lot of different cookbooks when I'm whipping something up, and also read Gourmet and Cooking Light like my own personal gospels, but often I find great recipes on the web. I thought I'd link to a few that I've used with success or am planning to try in the next week or two. 1. Risotto is my signature dish, so I'm always looking for new ingredient combinations. Here's one that sounded good to me: Butternut Squash Risotto in Pumpkin Bowls.  2. I love love love p...
More About: Sweater , Wear , Dare

Snowballs in Hell?
2007-10-24 15:35:00
Hell must've frozen over and no one informed me. Tiny Guy slept through the night last night. Maybe it's just because I'm a freakin' GENIUS... maybe it was just luck (pleasenopleasenopleaseno)... or maybe TG just wanted to give me a break. (Or more likely a false sense of security...all part of his evil plan). We've been following the plan laid out in Babywise since TG was about 2 weeks old. (There is a ton of controversy around this and other "sleep trainng" plans -- I'm aware of the negative opinions many people have about this... I think you gotta do what works for you.) ANYWAY, the cover of the book has the pleasant little line, "Giving Your Child the Gift of Nightime Sleep." When my mom was here from TG's week three through week five, we'd often joke around about TG's refusal to follow the plan -- "I'm TRYING to give you a GIFT, dammit! Why won't you accept the GIFT? Take the friggin' GIFT!!!" Anyway, keeping him on a 3 hour schedule mo...
More About: Hell , Snowballs

Throw Logic Out the Window
2007-10-23 16:06:00
Ahem. I apologize ahead of time for any errors in this post -- my Mad Scientist is at it again. Normally, Tiny Guy goes to bed around 7:30 and wakes up at 2:30am and again around 5am. This has been tolerable. So I'm not sure why I decided to listen when someone suggested that if I wanted to move that nice 6 hour block so that it would better coincide with my own sleeping time that I should wake him up to feed him again around 10. But I listened. And last night, I gave him a nice bottle (I pump first -- sometimes it's quicker this way and I'm lazy when I'm tired, dammit). 10pm. I figured I was golden until at least 4. How wrong I was. It seems that by giving Tiny Guy food at an hour when he doesn't usually get food, I alerted him to the fact that food is actually available at any hour of the day or night. It's like he woke up and suddenly realized he'd only been grazing the fruit station at a 24-hour all-you-can-eat buffet and he was pissed that he'd been missing out on the p...
More About: Throw , Window , Logic , Logi

Insanity Defined
2007-10-22 15:03:00
Don't they say that the definition of insanity is to keep doing something exactly the same way and expect different results? Then, by definition, it seems like raising children is sheer insanity. Here's what I mean: Every day I feed Tiny Guy and then we play for 20 minutes or so. After he's been up for an hour or an hour and a half, he's usually getting pretty grumpy and sleepy. I try to catch him just before he gets to that point and start getting ready for naptime. We change the dirty pants, swaddle him up and then we sit down to rock and sing for a few minutes. (Anyone who has heard me sing would know that this could qualify as child abuse, but he is pretty forgiving). Anyway, after singing the same two songs I sing every day, I put him in his crib and say the exact same words I say everytime we go down for a nap. The idea here is that consistency is supposed to help him adapt to the routine and feel safe and comfortable. The routine is also supposed to signal that it's...
More About: Insanity , Defined , Define

Let me count the ways...
2007-10-17 01:00:00
That I suck... Sorry I've been MIA. I don't have good excuses. And I signed up for Blog Action Day, even, and then totally forgot to post. Because I suck and stuff.I have not been busy. I have not been working too hard. I have not been too distracted with my new baby. I just kind of suck. So...uh...sorry. In other news, Tiny Guy slept through the night this weekend! (Which isn't very fair, considering that on the weekends, the hubby actually gets up in the middle of the night to give him a bottle. It'd be nicer if he'd sleep through the night on a weeknight when I am the one dragging my boobs out of bed to give him his middle-of-the-night snacks.) ANYWAY... I'd say it's a good sign that things might be getting closer to tolerable real soon. ohpleaseohpleaseohplease... See, I wasn't one of those pregnant chicks who complains because they can't sleep. I slept. I slept good (at least when I wasn't peeing.) On average, I slept 10 hours a night, plus naps during the day. W...
More About: Count

Mad Scientist
2007-10-10 15:29:00
My son is conducting a science experiment. My son is only 7 weeks old. He is fastidiously working to learn what the outcome will be of depriving grownup persons of more than 2 consecutive hours of sleep over the course of multiple nights.  I do not know what his hypothesis is because even though he is obviously the most advanced baby EVAH, he will not answer my repeated questions on this topic. ("What the hell do you want at 2am? I JUST fed you!!" "Why are you doing this to me???" "Why won't you let me sleep???")I anxiously await the conclusion of his research. 
More About: Scientist

Please Wear Red
2007-10-08 14:09:00
I'm not a big fan of chain email. (Though I actually used to think that chain mail was cool when I was a kid. I think I might have made like five bucks one time with one of those things... That was before I knew it was illegal...) ANYWAY, I'm posting something that I've received a couple times. Maybe you've seen this before. Maybe you don't care. As a Marine Corps spouse, I guess I'm a bit more vulnerable to having my heart strings plucked by this type of thing than other people might be. But I hope that reading it might make you think for a moment -- even if you don't support our President, even if you are "against the war," as so many are -- make sure you are clear that you DO support the men and women who have stood up to fight and risk their own lives. Maybe you don't know what they're fighting for. Maybe many of them aren't sure either, but they've pledged their very lives in service to our country, and many of them are dying for that country. That is a ple...
More About: Marriage , Wear

1+1=3
2007-10-05 00:44:00
When I was a little girl, I suggested to my dad that I was the most important thing in his life. He quickly corrected me, telling me that I was the SECOND most important thing, and that my mom was number one. He explained that he'd loved her first and that out of that love came me and my brother. He went on to point out that one day, I'd leave him and my mom would still be around, so that relationship needed to come first. It didn't make much sense when I was seven. Now I understand, and I have great respect for how difficult it actually is to prioritize a marriage when children appear. I thought it might be hard to connect with my child -- I've never been a googly "baby person." But I didn't expect that it would be hard to reconnect with my husband. And it is. I don't fully understand why it's been tough for me. Neither does he, unfortunately, but I'm lucky enough to be married to an extremely patient man. Part of it, I think, is that motherhood has been very phys...
More About: Marriage

Exposed
2007-09-27 14:58:00
Okay, a five week old cannot actually throw a tantrum or cry the second you put down dinner or begin a lovely nap simply to manipulate and infuriate you. Or so I'm told. However, Tiny Guy must've sensed yesterday that I had arrogantly agreed to take on a small assignment for an editor I used to work with and that I needed to speak with her regarding the work. I carefully planned this call for Tiny's most reliable naptime. When my phone rang at noon, the editor was greeted by my frazzled voice and echoes of piercing wailing in the background. I had a couple choices -- reschedule and attend to my furious baby (who, no doubt, would keep wailing regardless of my intervention) or go on with the call as if each shriek didn't send a tiny knifelike shock through my entire body. I chose the latter and am excited to be getting back to work. But as soon as I put down the phone, I was holding Tiny and contemplating my standing among the least talented mothers on Earth. As I stared into his ...
More About: Pose

My House at Night
2007-09-24 17:57:00
I used to be scared at night when I was alone. Our house makes big noises -- creaking, popping, artificial "someone coming up stairs" noises... (No, it isn't old. It is poorly constructed. It was built in 2004. I'm glad we are only renting...) ANYWAY, now my house makes even scarier noises at night -- the kind that fill my heart with dread and make me feel like my soul is sliding into my ankles as I groggily slip one leg after the other out of my warm bed. These noises are like screaming. Oh, wait, they are screaming. Okay, not always screaming. Sometimes wailing. Sometimes mewling in an escalating fashion that inevitably gives way to screaming. Last night these frightening nocturnal sounds occurred at 1:30, 2, 2:30, 4, 4:15, 5:30, 6:30 and 7... This, after Tiny Guy had previously been at a point where he woke me only once or twice a night for a week... What gives?
More About: House , Night

Tag, I'm IT!
2007-09-23 21:41:00
No one ever tags me for memes. Hell, I didn't know what a meme was until a few weeks ago. Plus I'm probably too busy to do them anyway. So my feelings aren't hurt. Not even a tiny bit. Plus, I don't need to be tagged. I'm an independent woman. I can tag myself. I'm not even sure how someone would tag me. Perhaps I've been tagged and don't even know about it. I bet I get tagged all the time. Anyway, there's a fun one at The Bloggess, and I am tagging myself, dammit. So THERE.SUPERHERO NAME: (”The” + 2nd favorite color, favorite drink) The Red Dirty Martini STRIPPER NAME: ( the name of your favorite perfume/cologne/scent, favorite candy) Light Blue Raisinet (wow, doesn't that one make ya wanna see me nekked??) SPY NAME/BOND GIRL: (your favorite season, holiday/ flower) Autumn Christmas CARTOON NAME: (favorite fruit, article of clothing you’re wearing right now + “ie” or “y”) Nectarine Jeanie (or Genie, I guess) HIPPY NAME: (What yo...

The Realm of Maybe
2007-09-23 17:43:00
Having never raised a person before, the only "normal" I understand is what I've read in books or been told about by friends. This concept of what's "normal" is difficult to apply on a minute-by-minute basis as a tiny and defenseless person depends on you for everything. While things have gotten a bit easier -- we're at 5 weeks now and my mom's still here for 2 more days -- Tiny Guy changes his being in the world strategy from day to day. It seems like what worked like a charm the previous five days is suddenly not working today. We spend a lot of time watching Tiny Guy and surmising, "maybe he has a tummy ache..." "Maybe I should avoid dairy..." "Maybe the Thai chili sauce I ate last night is bothering him..." "Maybe he's bored..." I will be relieved when Tiny Guy can effectively tell me what's bothering him, though I realize it may be a long wait. I've worked hard to memorize the Baby Whisperer catalog of cries and...
More About: Realm

Painfully Overdue
2007-09-18 15:26:00
The tiny boy sleeps. At night, during the day, sometimes on my shoulder... I think I made the mistake, early, of not realizing how much he needed to sleep. He isn't such a handful and he sure as hell doesn't have colic. He was just totally overtired. That totally happens to me, so I should have seen it earlier. But now, he sleeps. And when he's awake, he is happy and alert. Yesterday, he turned his head from one side to the other while we were having "tummy time." He can also hold his own head up when I'm holding him upright, and even lift it when I'm holding him laying down. He is the most advanced baby ever. EVAH... But I wanted to take a moment to apologize to no one in particular... I didn't acknowledge the passing of 9/11. At least not here... I'm sad to say that the date is growing somehow less poignant with the passing of time -- even though I lived in NYC during that time. I don't think I"ll ever forget the exact events or the painful aftermath of that...

Remedial Baby-Raising
2007-09-17 18:20:00
Perhaps you've noticed that I blog about nothing but Tiny Guy now. That is because he has taken over my life. I am assuming (and asserting confidently) that one day soon, I will regain control. For now, we follow Tiny Guy's 3-hour schedule, and we're both getting the hang of it.I am pleased to report that Tiny Guy now sleeps in his crib. Exclusively. (Except when we're in the car or on an outing). My mother is here and she helped me to maintain some of the consistency that I've been saying seems so important. We've both read the Baby Whisperer and Babywise, watched the Zombie Baby video and argued the finer points of each. We still can't figure out exactly what Tiny Guy is "saying" when he's yelling at us, but things do seem a little clearer. I now know when he's overtired (most of the time), and when he's hungry. I can also figure out when he has gas, mostly because he has no qualms about farting loudly and looking pleased with himself afterwards. I haven't yet...
More About: Dial

Zombie Baby
2007-09-13 22:19:00
Well, I'm not ready to begin gushing about how my baby is the cutest and best in the whole world quite yet. He is pretty darned cute when he isn't screaming, I'll give him that. We're almost a month into this... man, I can't even believe how fast this has gone (even though I think I've been awake most of that time!) My mom is here now for 2 weeks to help out with Tiny Guy, and it's great just having another adult around to talk to! It's also nice to have someone help figure out what I should be doing at any given point during the day. She's agreed that our 3 hour schedule makes sense, and we worked together to try to enforce the first official nap period where I wasn't supposed to give up as soon as Tiny Guy screamed. He screamed a lot. My heart hurt a bit listening and I wasn't able to let it continue more than 10 minutes or so at a stretch without going to make sure he was okay. I read some website that said that if you allow your baby to cry for longer than a few minut...
More About: Baby , Zombie

Teacher Becomes Student
2007-09-11 17:07:00
One of the first days that we had Tiny Guy home, hubby said something that has stuck with me. He said, "you know, I think that we had it wrong." "What's that?" I said, straining to hear over Tiny Guy's furious wails and dodging my head around to avoid being struck by petulant little flailing fists. "I think that we thought our job as parents was to teach Tiny Guy things. But really, I think he's here to teach us at least as much as we have to teach him." Hubby is right. And I am trying to remember that daily as I learn lessons in patience and attitude adjustment. I usually deny this, but I guess I'm mostly a "type-A" person, ifyou buy into those kinds of stereotypes. I'm pretty anal and rigid. I like to get things done in a certain order, a certain way. I make plans and lists, and I check off my goals as I achieve them. (Had a tiny person, check!) But I'm quickly learning that Tiny Guy does not care about my plans for the day. He doesn'...
More About: Student , Teacher

More DIY Parenting Tips
2007-09-10 00:27:00
Alright, I'm going to make an admission that no doubt falls into some parenting experts big list of no-no's (right up there with that "using the pacifier to go to sleep" thing). I'm sure I've committed many such crimes in my three long weeks of parenting. And there will undoubtedly be more. Today's entry:Using a car seat as a crib:  I'm not altogether sure how this evolved. Mostly, I think it was based on the pediatrician's advice that Tiny Guy sleep sitting up if possible, or on an incline, due to his little reflux problem (which makes him snorgle and choke all night). So we put him in the carseat since we were too sleep deprived at that point to think what else to do. Since then I've ordered incline pillow positioner things, propped the crib mattress up with a towel, etc. But if we want guaranteed sleep from the little guy, the car seat is magic. (Okay, there's no GUARANTEED sleep, but the odds are good here...) Sadly, hubby made a beautiful cradle and crib...
More About: Parenting , Tips , Parent , Pare

Pacify Me, People...
2007-09-09 02:32:00
So I said I'd never use a pacifier. But he really seems to like it. And he calms down sometimes when it's offered. When I know he isn't hungry and I can't figure out why he's crying. Am I "blocking" his real need by using it? Part of me thinks so. Another part of me wonders if it'd be wrong to use a little duct tape to keep it in his mouth since he tends to yell whenever it falls out... 
More About: People

Tiny Guy Gets a Job
2007-09-09 00:11:00
Okay, we haven't gotten him a job, so much as are attempting to put him on a schedule. He won't be toting an i-Phone anytime soon, but...This isn't what I'd planned for his infancy. Frankly, I don't think I planned well (if at all) for his infancy...I was so busy being pregnant. But given the sleepless nights, endless crying (me as much as him) and feeling completely out of control and clueless about 75% of the time, I figured it was time for a plan. ANY plan. And a friend stepped in right at about the moment that I was going to agree to let hubby put up a listing on eBay. (Tiny caucasian male, adept at projectile pooping and impromptu peeing on anyone attempting a diaper change. Comes with tiny outfits and a very cute smile.) ** NOT REALLY, PEOPLE... don't send me hate mail.**Anyway, she came in with the Baby Whisperer and Babywise and Happiest Baby on the Block information and helped me figure out that a 3 hour schedule would work for me and Tiny Guy. Maybe. It would at leas...