Potpourri of InsanityPotpourri of InsanityVarious stuff ranging from cars to women to gadgets to jokes, etc... Articles
Something For My Fans at Diamler Chrysler...
2007-11-11 10:45:00 Britney Spears got herself a shiny new toy last night -- a brand new white Mercedes-Benz, y'all!One day after chandelier shopping in the Valley, Britz decided to upgrade from the Pumpkinmobile to a Mercedes SL65. It's a 604 horsepower V-12! Los Angelenos: Consider this a warning!It was chaos outside the dealership as paps tried to snap Brit's pic -- cops were even called in to help her test drive the vehicle! More About: Fans , Chrysler , Some
The Year's Best Headlines...
2007-11-11 10:27:00 These were supposedly actually printed in 2007. I can believe it.Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert SaysNo, really?Police Begin Campaign to Run Down JaywalkersNow that's taking things a bit far!Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes OverWhat a guy!Miners Refuse to Work after DeathNo-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-sos!Juvenile Court to Try Shooting DefendantSee if that works any better than a fair trial!War Dims Hope for PeaceI can see where it might have that effect!If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last AwhileYa think?!Cold Wave Linked to TemperaturesWho would have thought!Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect HomicideThey may be on to something!Red Tape Holds Up New BridgesYou mean there's something stronger than duct tape?!Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery ChargeHe probably IS the battery chargeNew Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test GroupWeren't they fat enough?!Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in SpacecraftThat's what he gets for eating those bean... More About: Headlines
Coal Miner...
2007-11-11 10:25:00 This is really scary. Imagine what his lungs are like.A coal miner takes a bath after finishing his shift at a mine in the north China province of Shanxi. China's coal industry is the world's most dangerous, as measured by the number of miners who are killed per year. In the first 10 months of 2007, there have been 3,069 deaths and on average since 2000, 6,000 miners have died in China every year. More About: Miner , Coal
Cool Halloween Special Effects...
2007-11-11 10:20:00 ?or maybe not. More About: Cool , Special , Halloween , Effects , Special Effects
Could This Be Heaven...?
2007-11-07 13:24:00 Plitvicka Jezera National Park in Croatia is one of Earth's jewels. This mountain valley holds many large emerald lakes, each of which drains into the next in spectacular series of waterfalls. The whole valley is heavily vegetated and is so inundated with water that it would be practically impassible if it weren't for the extensive network of wooden walkways built for the national park. More About: Heaven
Abu Dhabi - Ferrari Theme Park...
2007-11-07 10:18:00 Construction of the Ferrari theme park in Abu Dhabi has officially started. A ceremony, to celebrate the laying of the foundation stone of the eagerly awaited tourist destination, was held yesterday.Ferrari?s president Luca di Montezemolo was present for the event, along with Ahmed Ali Al Sayegh, Chairman, ALDAR Properties, as well as invited guests representing media, government and business organizations from around the world.During what Ferrari has imaginatively named the ?Foundation Stone Ceremony?, a special time capsule was buried, containing a con-rod and piston of the 2007 F1 World Champion Ferrari car, together with the first artist?s impression of the Ferrari theme park on Yas Island. The capsule will be then opened again at Ferrari?s 100th anniversary, in 2047.A joint project between Ferrari and ALDAR properties PJSC, the 250,000sqm park (80,000sqm overed) will be a host a series of attractions, including Ferrari automotive displays and participatory learning centres as w... More About: Park , Theme
Fiat CEO Crashes With Ferrari 599 GTB...
2007-11-05 10:37:00 Fiat Group?s chief executive officer, Sergio Marchionne was involved in a car accident after his Ferrari 599 GTB Fiorano collided with a Renault late Friday on the Swiss A1 highway near the city of Basel. Luckily, both Marchionne and the driver of the Renault managed to escape unhurt from the accident. Local Swiss newspapers quote the police as saying that Marchionne was travelling at about 100 km/h (62 miles) on the highway when the driver of the Renault suddenly slowed down. Despite emergency braking, Marchionne was not able to avoid the impact. As you can see in the pictures provided from Corriere Della Sera, Marchionne?s Ferrari ended up on the protective barriers. And yes, in case you?re wondering the 599 GTB is heading straight for the scrap yard. More About: Fiat , Crashes
The Ghost Story...
2007-10-31 06:32:00 A professor at the University of Johannesburg is giving a lecture on the supernatural.To get a feel for his audience, he asks: "How many people here believe in ghosts?"About 90 students raise their hands. "Well, that's a good start.Out of those of you who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you've seen a ghost.About 40 students raise their hands. "That's really good.I'm really glad you take this seriously.Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost? 15 students raise their hands.Has anyone here ever touched a ghost. 3 students raise their hands."That's fantastic. But let me ask you one question further... Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?"Rhyno, way in the back raises his hand.The professor takes off his glasses, and says, "Son, all the years I've been giving this lecture, no one has claimed to have made love to a ghost.You've got to come up here and tell us about your experience." The redneck student replied with a nod and a grin, and begins to make his way up to the ... More About: Story , Ghost , The Ghost , The G
Who Were You In Your Last Life...?
2007-10-31 06:21:00 Just type in your birtdate? and wallah! I?m sure it?s all scientifically true?.. My results:Who were you in your last life? More About: Life , Were
Body Painting Lessons...
2007-10-26 08:04:00 Click here for more... More About: Body , Painting , Lessons
Did You Know...
2007-10-26 07:56:00 To ?testify? was based on men in the Roman court swearing to astatement made by swearing on their testicles.A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.?Dreamt? is the only English word that ends in the letters?mt?.There is a seven letter word in the English language thatcontains ten words without rearranging any of its letters,?therein? the, there, he, in, rein, her, here, ere, therein, herein.Donald Duck?s middle name is Fauntleroy.Alfred Hitchcock didn?t have a belly button.It was eliminatedwhen he was sewn up after surgery.Telly Savalas and Louis Armstrong died on their birthdays.The dot over the letter ?i? is called a tittle.
The ULTIMATE Driving ///Machine...
2007-10-22 08:31:00 To start with the most important thing: we were 3 in the car: my wife, my 7month old daughter and me - nobody got hurt, not even a scratch. Thank God (and BMW safety...)Here's the story:Sunny saturday afternoon, 4 pm, 35 degrees celsius, 2 lane autobahn, medium traffic in both lanes, me going in the left lane. I was travelling easy at about 180 km/h (okay, okay, show me one member here who sticks to the limits), talking with my wife, when suddenly I heard a loud bang from the right side. I lifted my foot off the gas (do not like to drive using Cruise Control) and that's when it all immediately started. The car was thrown out to the left, started spinning anti-clockwise. My wife told me later she saw me trying to countersteer, apparently it was worthless. The car hit the armco and the front airbags were blown. No more vision (grey dust everywhere), temporary deafness (airbags blown), no more steering wheel - and the car still spinning uncontrollably at 140km/h sideways !!! We hit t... More About: Driving , Machine , Ultimate , Mach
Those Damn Stupid Kids...
2007-10-21 19:36:00 If you work in an office with lots of people, chances are that you work with a person who hangs pictures up that their kids have drawn. The pictures are always of some stupid flower or a tree with wheels. These pictures suck; I could draw pictures much better. In fact, I can spell, do math and run faster than your kids. So being that my skills are obviously superior to those of children, I've taken the liberty to judge art work done by other kids on the internet. I'll be assigning a grade A through to F for each piece:? First of all, I?ve ridden a lot of bikes in my time, but I?ve never, ever seen one with 874 spokes on it. I hope you never become an engineer.And what?s with the kid on the bike? Yeah, that one with the sword sticking out of his body. Is he riding to the hospital? And where the hell is his other leg? Did it just magically disappear? Maybe it got caught in one of those god-forsaken spokes and was ripped off. GRADE: FOK Rupert, I?m going to be easy on you, since you?... More About: Kids , Stupid , Damn
"Woofers"...
2007-10-21 19:30:00 Pun intended, the "Woofer" is a co-axial speaker system consisting of two dogs. The custom engineered electronic filters make for great sound, and the aesthetics - well, you've definitely got two new best friends.Size: 20"H x 11.5"W x 17"D (per speaker)Material: Polyester.Speaker: 60watt - 180 watt RMS, 4 ohm impedance.Only $999 here.
The Fancy New Supermarket...
2007-10-21 19:25:00 The new supermarket near our house has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh. Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.When you approach the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and you take in the scent of fresh hay.When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle, and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying.The veggie department features the smell of fresh buttered corn.I do not buy toilet paper there. More About: Supermarket , Fancy
Scientific Facts...
2007-10-15 19:58:00 Gravity was discovered by Sir Isaac Newton. It is chiefly noticeable in the autumn, when the apples are falling off the trees.You can listen to thunder after lightning and tell how close you came to getting hit. If you don't hear it, you got hit, so never mind.When people run around and around in circles, we say they are crazy. When planets do it, we say they are orbitting.The tides are a fight between the Earth and moon. All water tends towards the moon, because there is no water in the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum.The moon is more useful than the sun, because the moon shines at night when you want the light, whereas the sun shines during the day when you don't need it.To remove air from a flask, fill it with water, tip the water out, and put the cork in quick before the air can get back in.Isn't it meaningless to speak of a 45 degrees angle unless you specify Fahrenheit or Celcius?An object at rest will always be in the wrong place. An object in motion will always be headed... More About: Facts
Misleading Food Names...
2007-10-12 09:42:00 * Bear claw - A western USA pastry (contains no actual bear parts)* Bombay Duck - Is not duck at all, but dried fish. It is also known as Bummalo, which is a species of fish from Southern Asia, particularly abundant in the Ganges Delta and the Arabian Sea of western India.* Colonial Goose - Actually lamb coated with bread-crumbs and occasionally bacon. This originated in Australia in the 19th Century. Supplies were scarce and goose was difficult to acquire in Australia, so they had to improvise.* Cream crackers ? Contain no cream, and are pale brown in colour.* Hawaiian pizza - This version of pizza does not come from Hawaii at all. It is a pizza with toppings of pineapple and ham, and sometimes onions or peppers. The name probably came from the pineapples that grow in Hawaii, as well as the traditional place of pork in the native Hawaiian diet. See also Toast Hawaii.* Head cheese - contains no cheese but does contain pig head parts* Jerusalem artichoke is unrelated to Jerusalem. It... More About: Food , Names
Dog For Sale...
2007-10-12 09:41:00 Dog For Sale : (Or free to good home)Excellent guard dog.Owner cannot afford to feed him anymore, as there are no more thieves, murderers, rapists or child molesters left in the neighborhood for him to eat. Most of them knew him as " Holy Sh*t!! "
The World's Best Kept Auto Secret...
2007-10-10 11:06:00 If you look at your gas gauge, you will see a small icon of a gas pump. The handle of the gas pump will extend out on either the left or right side of the pump. If your tank is on the left, the handle will be on the left. If your tank is on the right, the handle will be on the right (see photo below). It is that simple! More About: Auto , Secret
Pearls Of Wisdom...
2007-10-10 09:08:00 Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be ?meetings.?There is a very fine line between ?hobby? and ?mental illness.?People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.You should not confuse your career with your life.Nobody cares if you can?t dance well. Just get up and dance.Never lick a steak knife.The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she?s pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age ... More About: Wisdom , Pearls , Earl
Arrive Alive...
2007-10-05 08:57:00 Next time you are too drunk to drive:Walk to the nearest pizza shop, place an order, and when they go to deliver it, catch a ride home. More About: Alive
Good Morning Jokers...
2007-10-04 06:51:00 Courtesy of Angelo... More About: Morning , Good , Good Morning
BMW Announce Upcoming X Models...
2007-10-03 20:03:00 BMW will be expanding their X-branded range from 2010, with the launch of the all-new X1. Setting its sights on upcoming pint-sized off-road offerings, the launch of the new car will take on Audi and Mercedes with their Q3 and BLK models as well as Ford's seemingly-upmarket Kuga. Existing four-wheel-drive vehicles such as Toyota's RAV4 and its market segment rivals will also be in the X1's eyeline.Using the four-wheel-drive system of its X family sibling the X3, the new X1 will inherit its engines from the 1-Series range it is packaged around. A line-up of four and six-cylinder petrol pots will be available, while a range of crucial diesel engines will also be on offer.Much like the forthcoming X6 model which BMW previewed at September's Frankfurt Motor Show, expect a concept car version of the X1 to surface before a production model.Further future models announcedAlso announced in the latest speech by the Chairman of the Board of Management at BMW AG, Dr. Norbert Reithofer, wer... More About: Models , Upcoming , Anno
The Last Supper Trick...
2007-10-03 19:53:00 Please accept our sincere apologies for the image that was previously posted here! More About: Trick , Last Supper , Supper , The Last Supper , The Last
Creation of Man...
More articles from this author:2007-10-02 20:59:00 Eve chats with God. "Lord, I have a problem.""What's the problem, Eve?""I know that you created me and provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, as well as that hilarious comedic snake, but I'm just not happy.""And why is that Eve?""Lord, I am lonely, and I'm sick to death of apples.""Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you.""Man? What is that Lord?""A flawed creature, with many bad traits. He'll lie, cheat and be vain; all in all, he'll give you a hard time. But he'll be bigger, faster and will like to hunt and kill things. I'll create him in such a way that he will satisfy your physical needs. He will be witless and will revel in childish things like fighting and hitting a ball about. He won't be as smart as you, so he will also need your advice to think properly.""Sounds great," says Eve, with ironically raised eyebrows, "but what's the catch Lord?""Well ...you can have him on one condition.""And what's that Lord... More About: Creation 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 |
|
 |
|
 |
