Potpourri of Insanity

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Ebook of the Week: Essential Business Process Modeling...
2007-08-07 20:11:00
Essential Business Process Modeling :Ten years ago, groupware bundled with email and calendar applications helped track the flow of work from person to person within an organization. Workflow in today's enterprise means more monitoring and orchestrating massive systems. A new technology called Business Process Management, or BPM, helps software architects and developers design, code, run, administer, and monitor complex network-based business processes BPM replaces those sketchy flowchart diagrams that business analysts draw on whiteboards with a precise model that uses standard graphical and XML representations, and an architecture that allows it converse with other services, systems, and users.Sound complicated? It is. But it's downright frustrating when you have to search the Web for every little piece of information vital to the process. Essential Business Process Modeling gathers all the concepts, design, architecture, and standard specifications of BPM into one concise book, ...
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Ancient Fortress on an Island...
2007-08-07 17:18:00
Deep inside Siberia there is a lake, one of thousands others. And in the middle of this lake there is a small island. And on this island people have found an ancient fortress, which is dated more than 1500 years old. Excavations are needed in order to reveal all its view for visitors, but even now from the air its a nice site in different times of the year.
More About: Island , Fortress , Ancient , Tres

Cops Force Thief to Eat 40 Bananas...
2007-08-06 19:49:00
Indian police forced a thief to gobble down 40 bananas in a few hours, hoping they would force him to excrete a gold necklace he had snatched and swallowed.Sheikh Mohsin, 35, grabbed the 45,000-rupee ($1300) necklace from a woman in the eastern city of Kolkata yesterday and popped it into his mouth when police and local residents caught him.?He denied swallowing it at all, but an X-ray conducted in a hospital revealed the necklace was very much in his stomach,? Ajay Kumar, a leading city detective, told Reuters.
More About: Force , Cops , Nana , Thief

A Must Have...
2007-08-06 19:35:00
As seen on TV...
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Top 10 Blonde Inventions...
2007-08-06 19:18:00
1. The waterproof towel2. Solar powered flashlight3. Submarine screen door.4. A book on How to read5. An inflatable dart board.6. A dictionary index.7. Ejector seat in a helicopter8. Powdered water9. Pedal- powered wheel chair.10. Water proof tea-bag.
More About: Inventions , Blonde , Vent

9 Year-Old Soccer Prodigy Signs with Man United...
2007-08-06 05:21:00
A nine-year-old?s grandfather sent in the above video clip of his grandsom Rhain Davis to soccer powerhouse Manchester United . The team was so impressed that the offered the kid a contract to be a part of their training team.Manchester United have signed a gifted nine-year-old after his grandfather sent the Premier League champions a DVD showcasing the boy?s talents which has become a YouTube sensation.Rhain Davis, who was born in England but has lived in Australia since the age of four, was hailed by the British press on Thursday as the next Wayne Rooney after the United striker.Pretty amazing skill set by the kid. Even more remarkable is his understanding of positioning on the field to juke out his opponents. He has great control of his body because he is thinking about four steps ahead of what is actually happening.
More About: Soccer , Signs , Prod , Year

Children's Notes to God...
2007-08-05 19:49:00
A nun asked her class to write notes to God. Here are some of them.Dear God,I didn't think orange went with purple until I saw the sunset you made on Tuesday. That was cool.Dear God,Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don't you just keep the ones you have?Dear God,Maybe Cain and Abel would not have killed each other so much if they had their own rooms. That's what my Mom did for me and my brother.Dear God,If you watch me in church on Sunday, I'll show you my new shoes.Dear God,I bet it is hard for you to love everybody in the whole world. There are only 4 people in our family and I'm having a hard time loving all them.Dear God,In school they told us what you do. Who does it when you're on vacation?Dear God,Are you really invisible or is it just a trick?Dear God,Is it true my father won't go to Heaven if he uses his bowling words in the house?Dear God,Did you mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it an accident?Dear God,Who draws the lines ar...
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Whatever Happened To Those Disney Characters?
2007-08-03 07:39:00
We have all grown up knowing and loving the characters produced by Walt Disney and his successors at the Disney company. From Mickey Mouse to Aladdin, Disney has always given us something to laugh at, someone to cry for, something to hope for and a star to wish upon.Now, however, is has been revealed that the stars of these memorable cartoons may not have been the paragons of hope and happiness we always thought they were. Here, for the first time ever, are the fates to have befallen many of your favorite Disney characters.MICKEY MOUSE - died of venereal disease after visiting multiple prostitutes because Minnie said ?No? for 50 years.DONALD DUCK - served as a main course at Epcot?s China Pavilion.PLUTO - caught by dogcatchers, put to sleep after he was never claimed.GOOFY - assassinated during first term as President of the United States.SCROOGE MCDUCK - died in extreme poverty after being audited by the IRS.HUEY, DEWEY & LOUIE - involved in an underground child pornography ring.SN...
More About: Characters , Pene , Char , Hara

Durban's Finest...
2007-08-02 13:11:00
And I thought he went to Durban for a CONFERENCE on Monday morning...
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Nobody Likes a Smart Ass Kid...
2007-07-31 19:47:00
Little Johnny's father noticed that Johnny was spending way too much time playing computer games. In an effort to motivate Little Johnny into focusing more attention on his schoolwork, his father said, "When Abe Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the light of the fireplace."Little Johnny replied, "When Abe Lincoln was your age, he was The President of the United States."
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90 Year Old Man and the Umbrella...
2007-07-31 19:29:00
A 90-year old man said to his doctor, "I've never felt better. I have a 22-year old bride who is pregnant with my child. What do you think of that?"The doctor replied, "I have an elderly friend who is a hunter and never misses a season. One day he was in a hurry and picked up his umbrella instead of his gun by mistake. When he got to the creek, he saw a beaver. He raised his umbrella and went "bang, bang, bang", and the beaver fell dead. What do you think of that?"The 90-year old said, "I'd say somebody else shot the beaver."The doctor said, "My point exactly."
More About: Umbrella , Year , The U

Right Before The Shit Hits The Fan...
2007-07-31 06:25:00
...Or Should I Rather Say The Road!
More About: Shit , Hits , Fore

Difference Of Opinion...
2007-07-31 05:56:00
A young son asked his mother the following question:"Mom, why are wedding dresses white?"The mother looks at her son and replies, "This shows your friends and relatives that your bride is pure."The son thanks his Mom and goes off to double-check this with his father."Dad why are wedding dresses white?"The father looks at his son in surprise and says, "Son, ALL household appliances come in white."
More About: Opinion , Difference , Ferenc , Diff

NEW: EBook of the Week...
2007-07-30 12:28:00
Beginning today, I have added a new feature where I will be making two ebooks available for download every week. The categories of these books will be ranging from business, careers, economics, engineering, english, finance, health, management, marketing, networking and programming.78 Important QuestionsApproaching leadership with a questioning mindset may be easier than changing the embedded belief that a leader must be quick with an answer into the belief that a leader needs to be quick with a question. If the concept of questions has caught your fancy, and if you believe that you need to try something new because your old leadership behaviors just don?t seem to have the same impact, you and I are going to have some long hours and fun together. After you finish this section, you may want to go back to the Table of Contents and browse. There may be a question that catches your attention. It?s okay - read that one first. I strongly suggest that you read the entire book (in any order...
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BMW X5 M...
2007-07-30 09:20:00
BMW currently offers their X5 SAV with two engines, a 3.0 liter straight 6-cylinder making 272 hp and a 4.8 liter V8 making 355 hp. But these latest photos indicate that a new, even higher-performance X5 is on the way which is likely to be called an M model, in accordance with the usual BMW nomenclature of its high performance models. Engine is unconfirmed, but the next logical choice would be the big 6.0 liter V12 from the 760i sedan which produces 438 horsepower.One indicator that this X5 has a more powerful engine can be seen in the huge exhaust pipe tips. They are noticeably larger in diameter than the exhausts on the 4.8 liter X5. Plus the front bumper is completely redesigned with larger air intake openings to allow better airflow to an extra-large radiator. The front bumper also appears to extend lower, making it more of an air dam, helping to prevent turbulent air from going under the vehicle, thus reducing drag, especially at high speeds.The X5 is no stranger to a V12 power...

2009 Audi A5 Sportback...
2007-07-30 09:08:00
It appears the new Audi A5 Coupe may not be a single model line for long as rumors of a new A5 Spor tback begin to mount. Though the vehicle shares some obvious similarities with the A4 Avant, the roomier cabin, taller profile and sloping hatchback style rear-door means the A5 Sportback could form its own niche.These renderings reveal that the new A5 variant could pick up two rear doors. Base models will feature common rail diesel engines ranging from 140 to 200hp, with the rest of the lineup featuring petrol powered TFSI engines and a range topping 4.2L FSI V8 for the RS5.The base model will remain FWD but AWD variants will feature the latest quattro torque vectoring systems, which distribute drive individually between each axle and between the rear wheels for improved traction and stability.Though it seems odd that Audi would build the A5 Sportback with five doors considering part of the A5?s appeal is its coupe bodystyle, Audi exec Rupert Stadler?s boast that up to 18 new models w...

Interesting Thoughts...
2007-07-30 08:40:00
I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy."--Tom Clancy"You know "that look" women get when they want sex? Me neither."--Steve Martin"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand." --Woody Allen"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."--Rodney Dangerfield"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Lamborghini Gallardo."--Lynn Lavner"Leaving sex to the feminists is like letting your dog vacation at the taxidermist."--Matt Barry"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope."--George Burns"Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant."--George Burns"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships."--Sharon Stone"My girlfriend always laughs during sex ---no matter what she's reading."--Steve Jobs (...
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A Vibrator For Your iPod...
2007-07-30 08:36:00
A whole new way to plug 'n play!Simply plug OhMiBod into your iPod® or any music player and it automatically vibrates to the rhythm and intensity of the music. Let your body feel the vibrations as you get down with your favorite tunes.Hey, it?s only $69 Get it here
More About: Ipod , Vibrator , Brat

WITS vs UJ...
2007-07-30 08:31:00
A Wits man and a UJ man are at the urinal. They finish and zip up. The Wits man proceeds to the sink to wash his hands, while the UJ man immediately makes for the exit.The Wits man says, "At Wits they teach us to wash our hands after we urinate."The UJ man replies, "At UJ they teach us not to piss on our hands."

I Know My Butts...
2007-07-30 08:27:00
Lets face it, we all like looking at a nice ass every once in a while, butt do you think you can identify whether or not the owner of certain butt's are male or female? We've put together a collection of butts to test your skills. Some are easy, some are not so easy, butt a true expert should get all of them right.I took the quiz and got 9 out of 15 butts correct. How well do you know butts? Take the Butt Quiz
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Stranded on a Deserted Island...
2007-07-30 08:18:00
A young single guy finds himself stranded on a deserted island. As he washes ashore, he sees a women passed out in the sand. Able to perform CPR on her, he saves her life. Suddenly, he realizes that the woman is Cindy Crawford. Immediately,Cindy falls in love with the man.Days and weeks go by, and they're making passionate love morning, noon and night. True Heaven on earth in the man's eyes. Alas, one day she notices he's looking kind of glum."What's the matter, sweetheart?" she asks. "We have a wonderful life together and I'm in love with you. Is there something wrong? Is there anything I can do?"He says, "Actually, Cindy, there is. Would you mind, putting on my shirt and pants?""Sure," she says, "if it'll help." He takes off his shirt and pants and she puts it on."Okay, would you put on my hat now, and draw a little mustache on your face?" he asks."Whatever you want, sweetie," she says, and does so.Then he says, "Now, would you start walking around the edge of the island?" S...
More About: Island , Deserted , Desert , Strand , Tran

We WILL Be Back...
2007-07-22 21:01:00
Dear Lovers and Haters,Thanks for your plentiful mail! To allay your fears, we haven't gotten hitched, arrested, knocked-up or kidnapped - we are still very much alive and licking.Stay tuned for further updates, we've got tons to share with you..We'll be back with daily updates some time in August!
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Gasoline Consumption...
2007-07-13 14:29:00
Not sure how up to date this is (it has a 2003 tag on it), but it?s a very interesting chart.
More About: Gasoline , Cons , Consumption , Soli

Bugatti Increases Veyron Production...
2007-07-13 14:21:00
Bugatti is increasing the production of their million dollar super car the Bugatti Veyron . Prod uction numbers will increase from the original "60" cars produced in the first year of the Veyron to a total of "75" annually. A spokesperson for Bugatti stated, "We want to shorten the waiting time from just over a year." One has to think, it will still be arduous to acquire one of these vehicles or even see one on the road with just small increase of 15 cars in the production line, but Bugatti in fact wants to keep the car as exclusive as possible.While the production numbers for the Veyron have increased, there are currently no plans to ?change? the performance of the vehicle. With an incredible 1,000 horsepower one has to wonder if this is enough horsepower to keep the Veyron at the top of the super-car food chain in the twentieth century.Will the Bugatti Veyron?s clientele want more out of their super car as the production continues to its speculated production run of ?300?? For a mil...
More About: Bugatti , Ease

Ferrari Test Mule on Dyno...
2007-07-13 14:08:00
Despite constant denials about the existence of a new small Ferr ari from officials, images of a prototype being tested on a dyno have emerged. Rumored to be the successor to the original Dino, early reports suggest it will be launched by 2010, and to solve the problem of limited capacity at the Maranello plant, Ferrari will likely outsource production of the car to Maserati.Camouflaged by the shell of a Maserati Gran Tursimo, the new small Ferrari is expected to share much in common with the car from Modena including a new folding metal roof. The engine, however, will share its design with the 4.7L V8 that will power the Alfa Romeo 8C according to the guys at Autoblog, but power will be boosted to differentiate the two cars.One major factor against the introduction of a new Dino is the fact that Ferrari isn?t even meeting demand for its high-end models. A distinct attribute of the original Dino was that it was never badged as a Ferrari so, like the original, the new version may also...
More About: Mule , Test , Dyno

Facial Expressions of Women...
2007-07-11 09:15:00
At last some light on the abyssal soul of women ...
More About: Women , Expressions , Facial , Express , Expression

Well...
2007-07-11 08:28:00
As with many funerals, it was a cloudy, rainy day.The deceased was a little old lady who had devoted her entire married life to fussing at her poor husband.When the graveside service had no more than terminated, there was a tremendous burst of thunder accompanied bya distant lightning bolt and more rumbling thunder.The little old man looked at the pastor and calmly said, "Well , she's there."

It's a Poppy...
2007-07-11 08:26:00
Get your mind out of the gutter.

I Don't Want To Be A Honey Bee...
2007-07-11 08:26:00
The honey bee has exploding testicles.The reproductive cycle of bees is fascinating - and complex. But here?s the short story: a queen is selectively bred in a special "queen cell" in the hive and fed royal jelly by worker bees to induce her to become sexually mature.A virgin queen that survives to adulthood without being killed by her rivals will take a mating flight with a dozen or so male drones (out of tens of thousands eligible bachelors in the colony). But don?t call these drones lucky because during mating, their genitals explode and snap off inside the queen!Strange as it is, this actually makes evolutionary sense: the snapped-off penis acts as a genital plug to prevent other drones from fertilizing the queen. But tell that to the dead drone whose penis just exploded.
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Men and Women Don't Always Speak the Same Language...
2007-07-11 08:24:00
1. THINGY (thing-ee)...For the Female: Any part under a car hood....For the Male: The strap fastener on a woman's bra.2. VULNERABLE (vul-NE-Ra-bel)...For the Female: Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another....For the Male: Playing football without a cup.3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-in-Kay-shon)...For the Female: The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner....For the Male: Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment)...For the Female: A desire to get married and raise a family....For the Male: Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment)...For the Female: A good movie, concert, play or book....For the Male: Anything that can be done while drinking beer.6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens)...For the Female: An Embarrassing byproduct of digestion....For the Male: A source of entertainment, self-expression, and male bonding.7. MAKING LOVE (may-king luv)...For the Female: T...
More About: Women , Language , Speak , Same , Peak