Potpourri of InsanityPotpourri of InsanityVarious stuff ranging from cars to women to gadgets to jokes, etc... Articles
It Could Have Been Worse...
2007-06-12 22:31:00 Three friends had a good friend named Joe and he was, naturally, an eternal optimist. At every bad situation he would always say ''It could have been worse.'' His friends hated that quality about him, so they came up with a story so horrible that not even Joe could come up with a bright side.So the next day, only two of his friends showed up for a golf date. Joe asked, ''Where's Gary?''And one of his friends said, ''Didn't you hear? Yesterday, Gary found his wife in bed with another man, shot them both, and then turned the gun on himself.''Joe says,''Well it could have been worse.''Both his friends said, ''How in hell could it be worse?Your best friend just killed himself!''Joe says, ''If it had happened two days ago, I'd be dead now!'' More About: Been
Having a Bad Day...?
2007-06-11 22:35:00 The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez Oil spill in Alaska was $80,000.00. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were being released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later, in full view, a killer whale ate them both.Still think you are having a Bad Day ???? A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current, she whacked him with a handy plank of wood, breaking his arm in two places. Up to that moment, he had been happily listening to his Walkman.STILL think you're having Bad Day???? Two animal rights defenders were protesting the cruelty of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn, Germany. Suddenly, all two thousand pigs broke loose and escaped through a broken fence, stampeding madly. The two helpless protesters were tr... More About: Ving
What Men Mean...
2007-06-11 06:33:00 "I'M GOING FISHING" = "I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid,and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety."IT'S A GUY THING" = "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical"."CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?" = "Why isn't it already on the table?""UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR..." = mEANS Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response."IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN" = "I have no idea how it works.""I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND." = "I was wondering if that redhead over there is wearing a bra.""TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD". = "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner.""THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR." = "Are you still talking?""YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS." = "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday.""I WAS JUST ...
Four-Door Convertibles Coming in 2011...
2007-06-10 14:09:00 Mercedes-Benz has approved the S600-based Ocean Drive for production in the 2011 model year. But it won't be the only four-door convertible on the market. An Audi A7 cabriolet will hit the European market in early 2011, not 2009 as reported elsewhere.The two cars will not be direct competitors. The Ocean Drive concept, unveiled at the North American International Auto Show at Detroit last January, is based on the Mercedes S600, a sedan with a 510-horsepower, 5.5-liter V-12 and a price tag starting in the $120,000s.The A7 sedan will arrive before the convertible in the 2009 model year as a CLS-Class competitor, a so-called "four-door sport coupe." It should sticker for much less than the S-Class. The A7 will be built on Audi's transmission-forward layout introduced in the A5 and S5.The last four-door convertible of any volume sold in the United States was the 1961-1967 Lincoln Continental. It weighed about three tons and suffered significant body flex. The Ocean Drive and A7 cabrio... More About: Convertibles , Door , Convertible , Ming , Vert
Satan's Viper Burns Down...
2007-06-10 13:50:00 This was a Dodge Viper in Russian city Kostroma. And it carried plates with ?666? number. Some may not liked it too much considering it to be devil?s breed. More About: Burns , Burn
First Porsche Phone Sighted...
2007-06-10 13:31:00 Porsche Design?s world renowned for its stunning creations, and now they?ve crafted a mobile phone!Milled from a solid aluminium block the precision mobile packs a double hinge so the screen can be rotated through 180 degrees, as well as a fingerprint scanner to both secure the phone and provide shortcuts to functions.Each of your fingers can be assigned to a speed dial number or phone function. Swipe a pinkie across the scanner and the phone will be locked or a phone number dialled.There?s substance behind Porsche?s style too. Dubbed the Porsche P?9521, the phone packs a 3.2-megapixel video and still camera with auto-focus lens. The screen is an OLED one, boasting vibrant colours and low power use.There are also three speakers for clear, loud ringtones and music playback. The phone uses EDGE for fast data downloads and, unusually, the UK?s one of the few countries getting its hands on the mobile ? it won?t be released in the US, Japan or Korea!We hear it'll be on sale in very excl... More About: Phone , Porsche , Sigh , Sight
Girls Will Be Girls...
2007-06-07 11:44:00 I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.FOR EXAMPLE:One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department s... More About: Girls
Tonight is the Night...
2007-06-07 06:15:00 "If I drink any more, I will drown..." More About: Night , Tonight , Toni
Useless Body Parts...
2007-06-07 05:55:00 VOMERONASAL ORGANA tiny pit on each side of the septum is lined with nonfunctioning chemoreceptors. They may be all that remains of a once extensive pheromone-detecting ability.EXTRINSIC EAR MUSCLESThis trio of muscles most likely made it possible for prehominids to move their ears independently of their heads, as rabbits and dogs do. We still have them, which is why most people can learn to wiggle their ears.WISDOM TEETHEarly humans had to chew a lot of plants to get enough calories to survive, making another row of molars helpful. Only about 5 percent of the population has a healthy set of these third molars.NECK RIBA set of cervical ribs?possibly leftovers from the age of reptiles?still appear in less than 1 percent of the population. They often cause nerve and artery problems.THIRD EYELIDA common ancestor of birds and mammals may have had a membrane for protecting the eye and sweeping out debris. Humans retain only a tiny fold in the inner corner of the eye.SUBCLAVIUS MUSCLEThis... More About: Body , Useless , Parts , Less , Body Parts
Endangered Ugly Things...
2007-06-07 05:49:00 The Pink Dolphin lives in the Amazon Rainforest. It is usually found in the tributaries and main rivers of the Orinoco River systems in South America. This animal can stay summerged up to fifteen minutes in the rivers. Males sleep just below the surface and they come up to breathe as the reflex. The Pink Dolphin's body has adapted to the rivers of the Amazon. The Pink Dolphin looks almost like the gray dolphin, but they have differences. It measures 2.5 to 3 meters long. Although males are generally larger. The color of its body is pale pink. Instead of having a dorsal fin like the gray dolphin, it has a hump on its back. The Pink Dolphin's tale is bigger and it has 2 flippers that look like big leaves. The Pink Dolphin's neck is kind of long and his head has a little hump in the forehead. His beak is long and has tiny hairs on top. This animal has tiny eyes. The Pink Dolphin can turn its head 180 degrees, all the way around since it has an unfused vertebrae. It weighs approximat... More About: Things , Ugly , Endangered , Thing , Gere
Scientists Find 24 Species In Suriname...
2007-06-06 22:00:00 A frog with fluorescent purple markings and 12 kinds of dung beetles were among two dozen new species discovered in the remote plateaus of eastern Surinam e, scientists said Monday.The expedition was sponsored by two mining companies hoping to excavate the area for bauxite, the raw material used to make aluminum, and it was unknown how the findings would affect their plans.Scientists discovered the species during a 2005 expedition led by the U.S.-based nonprofit Conservation International in rainforests and swamps about 80 miles southeast of Paramaribo, the capital of the South American country, organization spokesman Tom Cohen said. More About: Find
Mike Tyson Wants To Do Bollywood Movies...
2007-06-06 21:57:00 Mike Tyson wants to try something new - acting in Bollywood movies. Tyson said the energy on the sets of a music video he recently shot for a new comedy got him thinking about trying to do more Bollywood work, The Times of India reported Monday. The former heavyweight boxing champion said in an interview that Firoz Nadiadwala, producer of "Fool n Final," had approached him with a script. "Firoz has discussed a movie with me," the newspaper quoted Tyson as saying. "We seriously intend to work toward it," he said, without disclosing any details.. More About: Movies , Mike Tyson , Mike
World's Greatest Driving Road...
2007-06-06 21:25:00 Just have a look What they have created in a desert... The Jebel Hafeet Mountain Road in the United Arab Emirates (UAE) is the greatest driving road in the world. Stretching for 7.3 miles and climbing nearly 4,000 feet, it boasts 60 corners and a surface so smooth that it would flatter a racetrack. It could easily be described as the eighth wonder of the world, but almost nothing is known about its creation. The road is cut into the Jebel Hafeet mountain, the highest peak in the United Arab Emirates , the oil-rich Persian Gulf state. The mountain spans the border with Oman and lies about 90 minutes' drive southeast of the thriving city of Dubai . It looks down upon a dusty, desert landscape that belies a nation of astonishing wealth. More About: Driving , Ving , Greatest
APOLOGIES...
2007-06-05 12:32:00 Sorry guys, the update is taking longer than expected.... More About: Logies , Polo , Logi
10 Signs That Your Child is Too Old to Breastfeed
2007-06-05 09:44:00 10. He can open your blouse by himself, with one hand.9. While suckling at one breast, he caresses the other.8. He has developed a bad habit of flicking his tongue.7. He keeps slipping dollar bills in your belt.6. He uses your milk as creamer for his coffee.5. Your birth control pills interfere with his acne medicine.4. After each feeding, he has a smoke.3. He frequently invites his friends over for dinner.2. You feel an uncontrollable urge to listen to "Dueling Banjos."And the number one sign your child is too old to breastfeed:1. Beard abrasions on areola. More About: Signs , Child , That , Brea
Good News and Bad News...
2007-06-05 07:56:00 Doctor : I have some good news and some bad news for you, Mr. Smith. Mr. Smith : Oh, I see. (Hesitating) Tell me the good news first.Doctor : You have 24 hours to live.Mr. Smith: 24 hours to live! That's your idea of good news?! What can the bad news possibly be that's worse??!!Doctor : Apologies, I forgot to call you yesterday. More About: News , Good News , Bad News , Good
CONSTRUCTION...
2007-06-04 12:45:00 Please note that you may have trouble viewing this site later today as it will be under construction... More About: Construction , Const , Cons
Girls of Age...
2007-06-03 16:54:00 What is the difference between girls aged:8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58, 68?At 8 - You take her to bedand tell her a story.At 18 - You tell her a storyand take her to bed.At 28 - You don't need to tell her a storyto take her to bed.At 38 - She tells you a storyand takes you to bed.At 48 - You tell her a storyto avoid going to bed.At 58 - You stay in bedto avoid her story.At 68 - If you take her to bed,that'll be a story!! More About: Girls
Application for Employment...
2007-06-03 16:47:00 NAME: BLANE CAULDERDESIRED POSITION: Reclining. Ha ha. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.EDUCATION: Yes.LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle-management hostility.SALARY: Less than I'm worth.MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that r... More About: Employment , Application
22 Worst Named Places in the World...
2007-06-03 16:44:00 22. Cockburn, Western Australia21. Twatt, Orkney, Shetland Islands, Scotland20. Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateapokai whenuakitanatahu, New Zealand19. Muff, Ireland18. Looneyville, Texas, United States17. Titty Hill, Sussex, England 16. Thong, Kent, England15. Gravesend, Kent, England14. Wetwang, Yorkshire... yep! England again!13. Spread Eagle, Wisconsin12. Bald Knob, Arkansas, United States11. Cockup, Cumbria, England10. Whiskey Dick Mountain, Washington State, United States9. Hookersville, West Virginia8. Hell, Michigan, United States7. Toad Suck, Arkansas, United States6. Middelfart, Denmark5. Horneytown, North Carolina, United States4. Shitterton, Dorset, England3. Disappointment, Kentucky, United States2. Fucking, Austria1. Whakapapa ? Why is this the worst place name in the world? In Maori, the native language of New Zealand, the "wh" sound is pronounced "f". Say it aloud in your office and see what happens. More About: World , Places , The World , Lace
M3 to get DSG-Style Manual Gearbox...
2007-06-01 13:07:00 The new BMW M3 will get a seven-speed double-clutch gearbox as an alternative to the standard six-speed manual.Official confirmation of the long-rumoured transmission came via a document issued to BMW dealers confirming the car?s specification.The new gearbox, called M DCT, will be available from March 2008. Made by BMW?s long-standing transmission partner Getrag, it will provide rapid and nearly imperceptible shifts.The speed of a double-clutch transmission is likely to improve the M3?s 4.8sec 0-62mph time by a couple of tenths of a second. The system should offer significantly smoother shifts than BMW?s SMG transmission in the M5 and M6.The transmission will be controlled by a combination of a shift lever, likely to be similar to the M5 and X5?s joystick control, and steering wheel paddles.The 'box has been exclusively developed for BMW, and different versions are destined for the 3-series and the 5-series.Other options for the M3 (on sale in September) include 19in alloy wheels ... More About: Style , Manu , Gearbox , Manual
RC Car VS Mini Cooper S...
2007-06-01 12:58:00 Click Here for more great videos and pictures! More About: Mini , Cooper , Coop
Mercedes To Build Super-Sports Car Without McLaren...
2007-06-01 12:56:00 Mercedes-Benz will team up with its official DTM partner, HWA AG, to co-develop and build its new super-sports car as well as several other high-end performance models. The luxury brand is reportedly disappointed by the performance of its SLR McLaren when compared against its main rivals, and this is said to be a key reason why it sought a new partner to develop its latest sports car, reports Automotive News Europe.In steps HWA. The motorsports company was formed by Hans-Werner Aufrecht in 1967, one of the founders of AMG, and is best known for its HWA Racing team, which competes in the German touring car series with the CLK-DTM.The new model will be a race car built for the road and is likely to be powered by a higher performance version of the hand-built 6.2L V8 engine from AMG. To make it road-legal, the car will be officially sold under the Mercedes AMG label, but it will remain a genuine HWA race-developed product. Expect to see a concept version at next year?s Geneva Motor Sho... More About: Sports , Mercedes , Super , Build , Spor
Nelly Furtado Has An Interesting Expression...
2007-06-01 10:53:00 What?s up with Nelly Furtado ?s face? It?s like she?s sucking on a lemon while doing the bitter beer face. I hope this isn?t her come hither look. Because it?s not working. If this thing started talking to me at a party, I?d punch it in the face and run away screaming like a little girl. I might pee my pants a little too. Although, that hasn?t happened to me since last week. More About: Interesting , Sion , Xpress
Guess What? You're HDTV Is Already Obsolete...!
2007-06-01 10:38:00 If you just spent a lot of money on that pretty, flat panel 1920x1080 pixel HDTV then we have some bad news for you. It's already out of date.Yep. That's right. Straight from Japan comes Super Hi-Vision TV with an insane resolution of 7680x4320. That's like 16 HD TV's put into one screen. The good news is that it'll be awhile before it hits the shelves of Target. Seems the bandwidth is 24 Gbps and there's really no camera out right now to take advantage of the Hi-Vision requirements. However, the future of porn has a new hurdle. Some things you just don't want to see in 7680x4320 resolution.[ ...more ] More About: Obsolete , Guess , Hdtv , Ready , Sole
The New Microsoft Surface...
2007-06-01 10:28:00 The Micro soft Surface (Official Website here) is a new interactive, touch-screen device introduced last night. The Surface is a coffee table with an interactive top that allows for the user to manipulate the screen using their hands. No more keyboards or mice.What the Surface brings "to the table" is recognition of items like PDA's, digital cameras, and credit cards. The wireless capability of the Surface is what really makes it different and great. The units are priced between $5,000-10,000 and will be initially geared toward businesses but will appear in retail stores by the end of the year.In typical fashion, Microsoft has taken an idea that's been bouncing around the industry and tried to mainstream it. TouchTable and Mitsubishi have been playing with this idea for years in the mapping world and it is really cool. More About: Microsoft Surface
NEW Google Maps...
2007-05-31 10:45:00 Now you can get a view from a street in many major city. Watch a demo.I smell a lot of controversy here.The worst possible time to be coming out of a strip club.Googl e Maps is spying on my cat. More About: Google Maps
Directions...
More articles from this author:2007-05-30 10:54:00 A little boy, waiting for his mother to come out of a store, is approached by a man asking directions: "Son, can you tell me where the post office is?""Sure," says the kid, "just go straight down the street a couple of blocks and turn right."The man thanks the boy kindly and adds, "I am the new preacher in town, and if you come to the church on Sunday, I will show you how to get to heaven."The boy grins, in that way kids have a way of grinning when they know something you don't: "Aw, c'mon, you don't even know the way to the post office!" More About: Directions , Dire , Rect 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 |
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