Potpourri of InsanityPotpourri of InsanityVarious stuff ranging from cars to women to gadgets to jokes, etc... Articles
Our New Home...
2007-11-30 16:24:00 http://alpham3.blogspot.com has moved to a new home..Please visit http://raspx.blogspot.com in future More About: Home
*** Alpham3 is Moving...
2007-11-29 13:52:00 Please note that we'll be moving this site to a new url within the next few days - I hope... This means that www.alpham3.blogspot.com will not be available in future as the archived posts will also be transferred over to the new address. We're still looking for a suitable url but you will be informed once it has been confirmed. Sorry for any inconvenience caused..... If you are comin' back to visit us, we thank you! Hope you have liked what you seen and will come back again real soon. More About: Moving
TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED...
2007-11-29 11:41:00 TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED the 1930's, 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's!! First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant. They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes. Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies i n baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-based paints. We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking. As infants & children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, booster seats, seat belts or air bags. Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat. We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle. We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this. We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank Kool-aid made with sugar, but we w... More About: Kids , The Kids
Daniela Pe?tová...
2007-11-29 11:17:00 And the Wiki says? Dani ela Pe?tová (born October 14, 1970) is a Czech supermodel. She was born in Teplice, Czechoslovakia, and was discovered by the Madison Modeling Agency?s Dominique Caffin. She had plans to attend college but after winning a modelling contest she moved to Paris to sign with Madison Modeling Agency. She later on moved to New York and from there her career took off. [Wiki]
Stranger In The Restroom...
2007-11-29 11:07:00 This morning I was standing next to a very fat fellow at a urinal when suddenly, for no discernible reason, he confided in me that he "Hadn't seen his 'thing' in 15 years."Not knowing why he suddenly decided to confide such personal information to a complete stranger, and not knowing what to say and wanting to be helpful, I said,"Why don't you diet?"Giving me a surprised sideways stare, he said, "Dye it? WHAT COLOR IS IT NOW?" More About: Tran , Ranger
And So The Christmas Season Begins...
2007-11-29 10:56:00 Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates."In honor of this holy season" Saint Peter said,"You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven."The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. "It represents a candle", he said."You may pass through the pearly gates" Saint Peter said.The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, "They're bells."Saint Peter said "You may pass through the pearly gates".The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, "And just what do those symbolize?"The man replied, "These are Carols." More About: Season , Christmas season
Lamborghini Reventon vs Tornado Jet Fighter...
2007-11-25 21:34:00 The Ghedi military airport in Brescia, Italy was chosen by Lamborghini to stage a mind blowing acceleration race between a Tornado jet aircraft (A200-A) provided by the airbase, and the Reventón, Lambo?s ultra limited supercar who?s design was inspired by the very latest aeronautics. The event was made to present the Lamborghini super car to international TV networks. -Continued after the jump The fighter pilot and the Lamborghini test driver challenged each other on a 3km-long (approx 1.9 miles) runway. Although the 650 Hp strong Reventon managed to take the lead in the first leg of the race, the Tornado caught up in the last few feet, taking off and flying over Lamborghini?s $1.5 million supercar that was going at a speed of over 340 km/h -212 mph. More About: Lamborghini Reventon , Fighter , Jet Fighter
3 Things to Ponder...
2007-11-25 21:30:00 1. Cows2. The Constitution3. The Ten Commandments Cows -Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that government can track a single cow born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she sleeps in the state of Washington? And they track her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around the country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow. The Constitution -They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq. Why don't they just give them USA's one? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it has worked for over 200 years, and they're not using it anymore. The Ten Commandments -The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments posted in a courthouse is this: Youcannot post "Thou Shalt Not Steal," "Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery", and "Thou Shalt Not Lie" in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment That's all. I don't like to ponder too l... More About: Things
Oxymorons...
2007-11-25 21:15:00 An oxymoron is a figure of speech that combines two usually contradictory terms in a compressed paradox, as in the word 'bittersweet' or the phrase 'living death.'Here are a few more: * Free credit * anxious patient * awfully good * barely dressed * butthead * clean dirt * disposable products with a lifetime guarantee * even odds * fresh frozen * freezer burn * going nowhere * hopelessly optimistic * kosher ham * larger half * Light-Heavyweight * long shorts * loose tights * lower inflation * maxi-thins * mild jalapenos * new improved * numbing sensation * ocean shore * old news * original reproduction * pretty ugly * pretty disgusting * removeable sticker * relative stranger * second best * short distance * strippers dressing room * terribly nice * Thinking out loud * true lies * uninvited guest * wireless cable * predictably unpredictable
Taking Up Space....
2007-11-25 21:06:00 Amount of space required to transport the same number of passengers by car, bus or bicycle... More About: Space , Taking
Upcoming Beauties...
2007-11-23 10:52:00 Rolls-Royce CoupeMercedes CLS - C Sportcoupe to be renamedFirst Sighting of New Maybach More About: Upcoming
Victoria?s Secret Fashion Show 2007...
2007-11-23 10:43:00 Well, here?s the event you?ve all been waiting for: the 2007 Victoria ?s Secret Fashion Show . Savor these pictures of Adriana Lima, Heidi Klum, Alessandra Ambrosia, Miranda Kerr, Selita Banks, Marisa Miller and Karolina Kurkova all together in one room, because it only comes once a year. Enjoy! More About: Fashion Show
The Most Dangerous Drug in the World...
2007-11-23 07:49:00 Scopolamine: Scopolamine is a colorless, tasteless, odorless drug. It is also known as hyoscine and is classified as a tropane alkaloid. The drug can be obtained from plants in the Solanacea (nightshade) family. Most scopolamine comes from jimsome weed, or as in Columbia, borrachero trees. The plants it can be derived from are many, and abundantly available. This makes its use widespread, and exceedingly dangerous. It is, surprisingly, one of the most feared substances in what is arguably the drug capital of the world, Columbia. More About: World , The World , Drug , Dangerous
Mike Tyson Wears Pink Prison Underwear...
2007-11-23 07:20:00 The prison uniform has become all too familiar to Mike Tyson . But not, perhaps, the pink handcuffs and socks. The final humiliation for the one-time "baddest man on the planet" came yesterday courtesy of Joe Arpaio, the self-styled toughest sheriff in America who believes pink has a psychological calming effect. Mr Arpaio, who has vowed to make an example of law-breakers in Phoenix, Arizona, also obliged the former heavyweight boxing champion to wear pink underwear under his prison stripes. Unsurprisingly, 41-year-old Tyson - who had been jailed for a day after admitting charges of possessing cocaine and driving under the influence - looked anything but amused when he reported to Tent City, an infamous open-air jail near a dog pound and a rubbish dump. The sentence, on top of 360 hours of community service, followed the fallen fighter's arrest in his BMW after leaving a nightclub last Christmas. But it could have been worse. Had Tyson, who has served prison terms for rape an... More About: Pink , Prison , Underwear
Things You Can Only Get Away with Saying on Thanksgiving Day...
2007-11-23 06:46:00 1. Talk about a huge breast!2. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.3. It's Cool Whip time!4. If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst!5. That's one terrific spread!6. I'm in the mood for a little dark meat.7. Are you ready for seconds yet?8. Its a little dry, do you still want to eat it?9. Just wait your turn, you'll get some!10. Don't play with your meat.11. Just spread the legs open & stuff it in.12. Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?13. I didn't expect everyone to come at once!14. You still have a little bit on your chin.15. How long will it take after you stick it in?16. You'll know it's ready when it pops up.17. Wow, I didn't think I could handle all of that!18. That's the biggest one I've ever seen! More About: Thanksgiving , Things , Thanksgiving Day , Hank
The Game...
2007-11-22 06:29:00 A lawyer and a blonde woman are sitting next to each other on a long flight. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde is tired and just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and tries to catch a few winks.The lawyer persists, that the game is a lot of fun. "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me only $5. You ask me one, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500."This catches the blonde's attention; and, to keep him quiet, she agrees to play the game. The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches in to her purse, pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer. Now, it's the blonde's turn. She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?" The lawyer uses his laptop, searches all references. He uses the Airphone; he searches the Net and even the Library of Congress. He sends e-mail's t... More About: Game , The Game , The G
Doctor's Ethics...
2007-11-22 06:18:00 Doctor Jim had slept with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he couldn't. The guilt and sense of betrayal were overwhelming. But every now and then he'd hear an internal reassuring voice in his head that said:"Jim, don't worry about it. You aren't the first medical practitioner to sleep with one of their patients and you won't be the last. And you're single. Just let it go." But invariably another voice in his head would bring him backto reality. Whispering: "Jim....Jim....Jim....you're a vet" More About: Ethics
Rover The Top...
2007-11-20 13:33:00 New Range Rover 'Coupe' Has 500 bhp And Diamond DialsHopefully Wayne Rooney has got room in his garage for one more car because this will be right up his street. If your average Range Rover with big wheels, bling, gold, mink interior, etc, etc isn?t showy enough then how about a three-door Range Rover Sport ?Coupe?. We?ve got our hands on a sneak preview of what the car will look like, but put away your credit cards because the finished article won?t be ready until late spring 2008. It will be limited to 100 cars worldwide and is likely to cost over £100,000. Every panel will be new and made of carbon fibre, there will be a panoramic glass roof and LED lights all round. Still not bling enough? Diamonds can be put into the dials at every ten mph if you like. The engine can be made to produce over 500bhp and the cars will be supplied via select Land Rover Dealerships, said its creators at LSE design. Coming soon to a high street near you?
Size Matters...
2007-11-19 18:31:00 A man walks into a bar with a monkey he had just bought at the pet store. He sits down at the bar and orders a beer. The monkey jumps down off his shoulder and runs over to the pool table and ate the cue-ball.The bartender says ?Your monkey just ate the cue-ball!!! GET OUT NOW!!? so the man picks up the monkey and leaves.Two months later the same man comes back with the monkey on a leash. The monkey jumps off his shoulder and grabs a peanut, shoves it up his ass, pulls it out then eats it.The bartender says ? Did your monkey just shove a peanut up his ass then eat it??The man says ?Yeah ever since the cue-ball incident he checks everything for size?. More About: Size , Matters
Love At First Site...
2007-11-16 08:20:00 I saw her from across a crowded room and knew at once?. She?s the one! More About: Love , Site
Hehehe...
2007-11-16 08:19:00 A ventriloquist walked up to an Indian and said ?I?ll bet I can make your horse talk.?Indian: ?Horse no talk?Ventriloquist: ?Sure watch this. Hi horse. How does you master treat you??Horse: ?Oh, he is good to me. He gives me food, water and he keeps me out of the sun.?Ventriloquist: ?I?ll bet I can make you dog talk.?Indian: ?Dog no talk.?Ventriloquist: ?Sure watch this. Dog, how are you? Does your master treat you good??Dog: ?Oh! He treats me good. He gives me food, water and he plays ball with me.?Ventriloquist: ?I?ll bet I can make your sheep talk.?Indian: ?Sheep Lie! Sheep Lie!?
Some Humour for the Ladies...
2007-11-16 08:09:00 Q. What should you do if you see your ex-husband rolling around in painon the ground?A. Shoot him again.Q. Why do little boys whine?A. Because they?re practicing to be men.Q. How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?A. One - he just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolvearound him. Or, Three - one to screw in the bulb, and two to listen tohim brag about the screwing part.Q. What do you call a handcuffed man?A. Trustworthy.Q. What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?A. You didn?t hold the pillow down long enough.Q. Why does it take 100,000,000 sperm to fertilize one egg?A. Because not one will stop and ask directions.Q. Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after mating?A. To stop the snoring before it starts.Q: Why do men whistle when they?re sitting on the toilet?A: Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.Q: What is the difference between men and women?A: A woman wants one man to sat... More About: Humour , Ladies , Some , Adie
Dear Alcohol... (Old Post)
2007-11-16 08:06:00 Dear Alcohol ... First and foremost, let me tell you that I'm a huge fan of yours. As my friend, you always seem to be there when needed. The perfect gift, post-work cocktail, a beer at the game, and you're even around at the holidays (hidden inside chocolates as you warm us when we're stuck in the midst of endless family gatherings). However, lately I've been wondering about your intentions. While I want to believe that you have my best interests at heart, I feel that your influence has led to some unwise consequences: 1. Phone Calls: While I agree with you that communication is important. I question the suggestion that any conversation after 2 a.m. can have much substance or necessity. Why would you make me call my ex's? Especially when I know, for a fact , they DO NOT want to hear from me during the day, let alone all hours of the night. 2. Eating: Now, you know I love a good meal. But, why do you suggest that I eat a taco with chili sauce along with a big Italia... More About: Post
Showin' Some Respect...
2007-11-16 07:54:00 Two deer hunters were standing on a ridge near a highway in rural south Mississippi on the opening day of deer season. They both saw a trophy-class buck meandering towards them. As the one hunter raised his gun to shoot, a funeral procession came slowly by.The hunter lowered his gun, took off his hat, and stood with his head bowed until the procession was past. Of course by then, the deer was long gone.The other hunter exclaimed ?Wow! That was the most sportsmanlike act I?ve ever seen! You allowed this trophy buck to escape while showing such compassion and kindness toward someone?s dearly departed. You are a great humanitarian and a shining example to sportsmen through out the world!?The first hunter nodded and said; ?Well, we were married for 42 years.? More About: Respect , Some
Please Tell Us What You Think...
2007-11-12 21:01:00 Dear Visitors,We'd love to know what you think of this site - please tell us what you like to see and we'll make it happen. Kindly take a few seconds to complete the following.How would you rate site in terms of appearance?How would you rate the site in terms of quality of content? How would you rate the site overall?What do you like best about the site?What don't you like?What would you like to see more of on the site?Please tell us any other comments you have.Name (Optional)Email address (optional)Please forward all responses to the above email address or if you'd like to remain anonymous, you could post your response as a comment under this post.
Be Very Afraid...
2007-11-12 20:40:00 MY 08' M3 Sedan- Build: Dec 07'- Launch: March 08'MY 08' M3 coupe- Build: Dec 07'- Launch: March 08'MY 08' M3 Vert- March- May 24thMY 08' 128/135 coupes and 128 vert- Build: Dec 08'- Launch: March 22'ndMY 08' 135 vert- March- May 30thMY 08' X6 3.5 TT >>>>>>>>Yes a twin turbo X6!- Build: January 08'- Launch: April 19thMY 08' X6 4.8is- May- July launchMY 09' 335d Sedan- Sept 08' build- October launchMY 09' 3 series sedan faceliftX5 3.0 diesel- October 08'-NovemberNew 7 series- November 08' build- January 09' launch More About: Raid
AC Schnitzer works its magic on the E92 M3...
More articles from this author:2007-11-11 10:49:00 The BMW M3 already has a lot going for it, both in terms of looks and performance. So much, in fact, that it?s a hard to imagine a better balance between raw track-bound performance and street-going civility. But that hasn?t stopped the German tuners at AC Schnitzer from trying their hand at customizing the M3. We can?t tell yet if it?s actually better than the M3, but one thing is certain: it looks hot.New body panels all around the lower edge of the car, custom alloy wheels and special badging identify the car as a Schnitzer. The suspension has been tuned as well, although they haven?t given the gory details on exactly what they?ve done to it - but they assure us it?s ?enhanced.? If the striking visual modifications are any indication of what?s gone on under the skin, though, you can expect tasteful adjustments that add to the essential character of the M3 and give a unique feel without going overboard.The new AC Schnitzer M3 will show its face in public for the first time at the ... More About: Magic , Works 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 |
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