Bipolarchick.net - Reflections of a Crazy Life Bipolarchick.net - Reflections of a Crazy Life Young woman blogging about her life, being bipolar, self-injury, recovery, triggers, fear, failure, past abuse, relationships, dating, sexcapades, current struggles & other issues, as well as advocating for others diagnosed with mental illness. Articles
What It's Like to Have a Mood Disorder
2007-09-14 11:30:00 Stop. Stand still for a minute and look deep within. See. Envision yourself in your mind's eye. When you have a firm visual memory - Observe. Play through a normal day, week, month, and year ? What happens? Watch how you behave. Contemplate. What was it like? Was stability present? Was your behavior consistent? Did your personality fluctuate? Feel. Pay attention to how you felt. Imagine. Your mood is unpredictable. Your ... More About: Lyrics , Thoughts , Mood , Diso
Scientists Make Bipolar Gene Find
2007-09-14 06:55:00 The findings, made as part of the largest study into the genetics of common diseases, also offers hope to depression and schizophrenia sufferers. The Cardiff University scientists analyzed DNA from thousands of people, including actor and writer Stephen Fry. Previously known as manic depression, bipolar sufferers are at a greatly increased risk of committing suicide. "This should be ... More About: Find , Bipolar , Make , Scientists , Gene
Community Service & Another Med Change
2007-09-13 06:49:00 Current Mood: Today was a busy day. I got up at the butt-crack of dawn this morning and started calling non-profit organizations because I didn’t want to have to finish my community service at the YMCA. After leaving over 13 messages, I got a call back from Community Action Project. I start there tomorrow and it’s clerical work… my forte. After I spoke with the executive director of CAP, I had to go see my probation officer to get the pre-approval since CAP isn’t on their list. My probation officer’s supervisor was bitching at me for not having more of my hours in, so I copped an attitude right back at her. I’m not going to kiss anyone’s ass, I don’t give a shit who they are or who they think they are. That bitch isn’t anything to me. She’s just on a power trip. I’m supposed to be finished by 9/14/07 at 10:30 a.m. That just isn’t possible so I’m going to have to go to court. I hope the judge isn’t an asshole about it. He only gave me thirteen busin... More About: Change , Service , Community Service , Chang
Jeff…
2007-09-12 04:12:00 Current Mood: Jeff just left. He came to pick up his belt. He 'forgot' it the other day when he was here. I love the way he looks at me. Desire burns in his eyes when he looks at me. He looks as me as if I am the sexiest woman in the world. It makes me feel incredible, beautiful, and sexy. I’m not afraid to be myself with him. I feel like I’ve known him for years. Usually, I am somewhat self-conscious in bed1 because I can’t stop thinking about how imperfect my body is - with its excess fat and bright pink scars leftover from self-injury. However, it barely crosses my mind when I’m with him. As soon as he got here, he kissed me deeply and said, ‘Hey beautiful, I’ve missed you. How have you been?’ He acted as if it had been a few weeks, instead of a few days, since we last saw each other. WARNING: It gets graphic from here. His belt was in my bedroom so I walked in there to get it for him. He followed me. Then he shut the door behind us. He was aware that i...
Jeff?
2007-09-12 04:12:00 Current Mood: Jeff just left. He came to pick up his belt. He 'forgot' it the other day when he was here. I love the way he looks at me. Desire burns in his eyes when he looks at me. He looks as me as if I am the sexiest woman in the world. ...
YMCA, Community Service, and Denver
2007-09-11 06:35:00 I started doing my community service today. I was assigned to the YMCA. The whole time I kept thinking about the damned Village People and I couldn't get 'YMCA' out of my head. That's why I'm sitting here listening to that song. Maybe if I hear it then it will get out of my head. There ... More About: Community , Service , Thoughts , Denver , Community Service
YMCA, Community Service, and Denver
2007-09-11 06:35:00 I started doing my community service today. I was assigned to the YMCA. The whole time I kept thinking about the damned Village People and I couldn't get 'YMCA' out of my head. That's why I'm sitting here listening to that song. Maybe if I hear it then it will get out of my head. There are some strange dudes that stay there. A few kept hitting on me. There was one in particular that was creepy. One of the employees told me to 'Steer clear of that guy. He's a nutty sonofabitch. A real live loony tunes.' Oh great, like I need another one of them in my life. I decided to keep my bipolar status to myself. I didn't want that employee saying the same thing about me. There was only one other person doing community service there today besides me. It was an Indian woman named Sue. She was working off fines for public intoxication. She only had 16 hours… I got 24 hours for a speeding ticket… WTF? After I was done for the day I went o... More About: Community , Service , Denver , Community Service , Unit
YMCA, Community Service, and Denver
2007-09-11 06:35:00 I started doing my community service today. I was assigned to the YMCA. The whole time I kept thinking about the damned Village People and I couldn't get 'YMCA' out of my head. That's why I'm sitting here listening to that song. Maybe if I hear it then it will get out of my head. There are some strange dudes that stay there. A few kept hitting on me. There was one in particular that was creepy. One of the employees told me to 'Steer clear of that guy. He's a nutty sonofabitch. A real live loony tunes.' Oh great, like I need another one of them in my life. I decided to keep my bipolar status to myself. I didn't want that employee saying the same thing about me. There was only one other person doing community service there today besides me. It was an Indian woman named Sue. She was working off fines for public intoxication. She only had 16 hours… I got 24 hours for a speeding ticket… WTF? After I was done for the day I went o... More About: Community , Service , Denver , Community Service , Unit
YMCA, Community Service, and Denver
2007-09-11 06:35:00 I started doing my community service today. I was assigned to the YMCA. The whole time I kept thinking about the damned Village People and I couldn't get 'YMCA' out of my head. That's why I'm sitting here listening to that song. Maybe if I hear it then it will get out of my head. There ... More About: Community , Service , Thoughts , Denver , Community Service
Letting Go
2007-09-10 06:47:00 I've been thinking a lot about forgiveness. About a month ago, my counselor asked me if I have considered forgiving those who have sexually abused me. I?m sure I looked at her as if she was smoking crack. I thought, ?forgive them?!? Pfft. Why the fuck would I want to do that? She must be the ... More About: Relationships , Recovery , Thoughts , Flashbacks , Letting
Letting Go
2007-09-10 06:47:00 I've been thinking a lot about forgiveness. About a month ago, my counselor asked me if I have considered forgiving those who have sexually abused me. I???m sure I looked at her as if she was smoking crack. I thought, ???forgive them?!? Pfft. Why the fuck would I want to do that? She must be the crazy one.??? She could tell I wasn???t ready to think about doing that quite yet. She added, ???It???s not something you have to do this minute, just think about it. Whom are you hurting by having all this anger and bitterness toward those men? You???re not hurting them. They probably don???t even think about what they did. Those feelings are holding you down just like invisible shackles.??? I knew I was only hurting myself by holding on to all those negative feelings, but I wasn???t quite ready to let them go yet. I equated forgiveness with excusing what they did and I sure as hell wasn???t going to do that. I felt like they ruined my life. In truth, they ruined my childhood and most... More About: Letting
Letting Go
2007-09-10 06:47:00 I've been thinking a lot about forgiveness. About a month ago, my counselor asked me if I have considered forgiving those who have sexually abused me. I?m sure I looked at her as if she was smoking crack. I thought, ?forgive them?!? Pffft. Why the fuck would I want to do that? She must be the ... More About: Relationships , Recovery , Thoughts , Flashbacks , Letting
Letting Go
2007-09-10 06:47:00 I've been thinking a lot about forgiveness. About a month ago, my counselor asked me if I have considered forgiving those who have sexually abused me. I???m sure I looked at her as if she was smoking crack. I thought, ???forgive them?!? Pfft. Why the fuck would I want to do that? She must be the crazy one.??? She could tell I wasn???t ready to think about doing that quite yet. She added, ???It???s not something you have to do this minute, just think about it. Whom are you hurting by having all this anger and bitterness toward those men? You???re not hurting them. They probably don???t even think about what they did. Those feelings are holding you down just like invisible shackles.??? I knew I was only hurting myself by holding on to all those negative feelings, but I wasn???t quite ready to let them go yet. I equated forgiveness with excusing what they did and I sure as hell wasn???t going to do that. I felt like they ruined my life. In truth, they ruined my childhood and most... More About: Letting
A New Kind of Sex Toy?
2007-09-08 16:13:00 A US mother-of-three has invented a sex toy that connects to a vacuum cleaner to give an orgasm in just ten seconds. The gadget, called Vortex Vibrations, works by concentrating the air flow to create a rapid and gentle vibration, reports the Sun. Inventor Joanne Drysdale claims it can give multiple, back-to-back orgasms lasting up to a minute a time - and it does not even touch the skin. The 49-year-old former toolmaker was cleaning her carpets when she came up with the idea for Vortex, which sells for ??35 through lovehoney.co.uk. She saw how a piece of rubber that had got caught in the nozzle was gently resonating in the air flow. She also felt a soft stimulation to her fingertips as she tried to remove the rubber. "After several hours, I came up with the prototype. The first time I tried it I reached an orgasm within 10 seconds. That was when I knew I was on to something that could potentially bring pleasure to all women."
A New Kind of Sex Toy?
2007-09-08 16:13:00 A US mother-of-three has invented a sex toy that connects to a vacuum cleaner to give an orgasm in just ten seconds. The gadget, called Vortex Vibrations, works by concentrating the air flow to create a rapid and gentle vibration, reports the Sun. Inventor Joanne Drysdale claims it can give multiple, back-to-back orgasms lasting up to a minute a time - and it does not even touch the skin. The 49-year-old former toolmaker was cleaning her carpets when she came up with the idea for Vortex, which sells for ??35 through lovehoney.co.uk. She saw how a piece of rubber that had got caught in the nozzle was gently resonating in the air flow. She also felt a soft stimulation to her fingertips as she tried to remove the rubber. "After several hours, I came up with the prototype. The first time I tried it I reached an orgasm within 10 seconds. That was when I knew I was on to something that could potentially bring pleasure to all women."
A New Kind of Sex Toy?
2007-09-08 16:13:00 A US mother-of-three has invented a sex toy that connects to a vacuum cleaner to give an orgasm in just ten seconds. The gadget, called Vortex Vibrations, works by concentrating the air flow to create a rapid and gentle vibration, reports the Sun. Inventor Joanne Drysdale claims it can give multiple, back-to-back orgasms lasting up to a ...
A New Kind of Sex Toy?
2007-09-08 16:13:00 A US mother-of-three has invented a sex toy that connects to a vacuum cleaner to give an orgasm in just ten seconds. The gadget, called Vortex Vibrations, works by concentrating the air flow to create a rapid and gentle vibration, reports the Sun. Inventor Joanne Drysdale claims it can give multiple, back-to-back orgasms lasting up to a ...
Vision for Change: A Campaign for Wellness in America
2007-09-07 21:40:00 IF??? parents had to give up custody of their children for them to receive treatment for cancer…If people with heart disease ended up on the streets or in prisons because they couldn't get help…If businesses lost billions of dollars due to avian flu…If 30,000 people died each year due to airplane accidents… This nation would demand action. When it comes to mental health disorders, there are no "ifs." Loss of child custody, homelessness, incarceration, lost productivity, and an epidemic of suicide are realities in communities across the country. Mental health is fundamental to overall health and research confirms the link between mind and body and demonstrates that mental illnesses are treatable when individuals have access to appropriate services. We call on Congress to embrace our Vision for Change and make mental health a national priority to ensure wellness for all America ns. Our Vision for Change: 1. Eliminate discrimination in access... More About: Campaign , Wellness
Vision for Change: A Campaign for Wellness in America
2007-09-07 21:40:00 IF? parents had to give up custody of their children for them to receive treatment for cancer…If people with heart disease ended up on the streets or in prisons because they couldn't get help…If businesses lost billions of dollars due to avian flu…If 30,000 people died each year due to airplane accidents… This nation would demand ... More About: America , Change , Campaign , Bipolar , Wellness
Vision for Change: A Campaign for Wellness in America
2007-09-07 21:40:00 IF??? parents had to give up custody of their children for them to receive treatment for cancer…If people with heart disease ended up on the streets or in prisons because they couldn't get help…If businesses lost billions of dollars due to avian flu…If 30,000 people died each year due to airplane accidents… This nation would demand action. When it comes to mental health disorders, there are no "ifs." Loss of child custody, homelessness, incarceration, lost productivity, and an epidemic of suicide are realities in communities across the country. Mental health is fundamental to overall health and research confirms the link between mind and body and demonstrates that mental illnesses are treatable when individuals have access to appropriate services. We call on Congress to embrace our Vision for Change and make mental health a national priority to ensure wellness for all America ns. Our Vision for Change: 1. Eliminate discrimination in access... More About: Campaign , Wellness
‘Movie’ date with Jeff
2007-09-07 11:22:00 Current Mood: Oh my God! I had incredibly awesome sex earlier. It was with this person named Jeff , whom I have been 'talking' to for a few months. He is the best lover I've had in awhile. He has the package, stamina, and technique. MMM damn. It started out innocent enough - it usually does. We were supposed to go out and have a drink, but I decided to stay in and just invite him over. When he got here, he gave me a big hug once I let him in the house. I was instantly comfortable with him, but that could have been due to the three Jager-bombs I had before he arrived. He brought a bottle of wine since we were staying in. We had three Jager-bombs together and he had a glass of wine (wine doesn't suit my taste). We started watching the Ring 2. We sat close together and he started holding my hand - aww, how cute. Then out of nowhere, he kissed me. Unfortunately, he could use some kissing lessons. I can fix that though… give me time. WARNING: it...
Vision for Change: A Campaign for Wellness in America
2007-09-06 21:40:00 IF??? parents had to give up custody of their children for them to receive treatment for cancer…If people with heart disease ended up on the streets or in prisons because they couldn't get help…If businesses lost billions of dollars due to avian flu…If 30,000 people died each year due to airplane accidents… This nation would demand action. When it comes to mental health disorders, there are no "ifs." Loss of child custody, homelessness, incarceration, lost productivity, and an epidemic of suicide are realities in communities across the country. Mental health is fundamental to overall health and research confirms the link between mind and body and demonstrates that mental illnesses are treatable when individuals have access to appropriate services. We call on Congress to embrace our Vision for Change and make mental health a national priority to ensure wellness for all America ns. Our Vision for Change: 1. Eliminate discrimination in access... More About: Campaign , Wellness
Vision for Change: A Campaign for Wellness in America
2007-09-06 21:40:00 IF? parents had to give up custody of their children for them to receive treatment for cancer…If people with heart disease ended up on the streets or in prisons because they couldn't get help…If businesses lost billions of dollars due to avian flu…If 30,000 people died each year due to airplane accidents… This nation would demand ... More About: America , Change , Campaign , Bipolar , Wellness
A Life for Deciding
2007-09-05 23:59:00 A Life for Deciding In people with chronic or terminal diseases, one talks about the quality of life. Everything is done by doctors, family, friends, the people themselves, for as high ... More About: Lyrics
Triptych: For My Sisters and Brothers
2007-09-04 23:57:00 I. Ascent In the middle of my head, a perfect pinwheel, shining with a million colors, spins all night. In the middle of my head, a surging thesaurus bounces off the walls like ten thousand ping-pong balls. Sleepless, body twitching, white-knuckled, I cling to reality. I wish I were home. II. Darkness descending The sun has set But it does not bring Respite. Now comes the Dark night of the Soul. Fear and trembling, The sickness Unto death. Slugs ... More About: Lyrics , Brothers , Sisters , Triptych
The Pendulum
2007-09-03 23:53:00 Pendulum, pendulum, why do you swing? You never warn me when you do your thing: sometimes a nightmare, sometimes a dream, I always laugh when I want to scream. Tick. Tock. I love my clock. I feel the rhthym and gently rock. I pretend not to see it coming this way; where can I hide from the pendulum's sway? LEIGH S. More About: Lyrics
Prison
2007-09-02 23:34:00 Nick???s dad, Bob, just called me to let me know that Nick is going back to prison. Holy shit, I can???t believe it. I???m in shock. A few weeks ago, he told me that he had a warrant and he was going to turn himself in but I didn???t really take him or the situation seriously. I partly thought he was just saying it to get me to start talking to him again. (He???s pulled similar tricks before.) When his family told me he was being honest, I was a little concerned, but not too much. I figured the judge would reinstate his sentence. However, I thought he would suspend it and the worst that would happen was an extension of his probation and a big fat fine. I was wrong. A few years ago, Nick was addicted to meth a.k.a. crank. He ended up in prison because of his addiction. The cops had pulled him over because he had an expired tag. He also didn???t have a license or insurance. They arrested him because he had a mobile meth lab in his car in addition to a large amount of the drug. He als... More About: Prison
Prison
2007-09-02 23:34:00 Nick?s dad, Bob, just called me to let me know that Nick is going back to prison. Holy shit, I can?t believe it. I?m in shock. A few weeks ago, he told me that he had a warrant and he was going to turn himself in but I didn?t really take him or the situation ... More About: Drama , Prison
Prison
2007-09-02 23:34:00 Nick???s dad, Bob, just called me to let me know that Nick is going back to prison. Holy shit, I can???t believe it. I???m in shock. A few weeks ago, he told me that he had a warrant and he was going to turn himself in but I didn???t really take him or the situation seriously. I partly thought he was just saying it to get me to start talking to him again. (He???s pulled similar tricks before.) When his family told me he was being honest, I was a little concerned, but not too much. I figured the judge would reinstate his sentence. However, I thought he would suspend it and the worst that would happen was an extension of his probation and a big fat fine. I was wrong. A few years ago, Nick was addicted to meth a.k.a. crank. He ended up in prison because of his addiction. The cops had pulled him over because he had an expired tag. He also didn???t have a license or insurance. They arrested him because he had a mobile meth lab in his car in addition to a large amount of the drug. He als... More About: Prison
Prison
More articles from this author:2007-09-02 23:34:00 Nick?s dad, Bob, just called me to let me know that Nick is going back to prison. Holy shit, I can?t believe it. I?m in shock. A few weeks ago, he told me that he had a warrant and he was going to turn himself in but I didn?t really take him or the situation ... More About: Drama , Prison 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 |
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