Pissed Off Housewife

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Flyin' High
2007-04-20 14:53:00
We're off to meet Hubby on his trip. It's a quick turnaround at it's just before 6 here so Adam and Eve will be woken up momentarily.Those two love a good plane ride.Sunday afternoon we're making a time capsule to put in the bottom of the pool.What goes in?Friends are coming over so a bunch of us are burying them.What should we bury them in?HELP!I mentioned that it would be a good idea but then i forgot all about the logistics of it.FYI I managed to scold the dog sitters and explain to them that every owner of a vagina should also be the owner of a gun. I forgot what a powerful word that is. I don't think they'll talk guns with me again...Also, 99.9% of American Women in their truest heart of hearts fall in between Leslie Bennetts and Dr. Laura. I do. The Mommy Wars keeps those two in business. So if you prefer Ms. B do Dr. L. remember that when you buy a Ms. B book you're stoking the fire for Dr. L to write one and vice versa.Also, for a FREE American Apparel WTF tee u...
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Bloggy Random Thoughts
2007-04-19 22:16:00
Not feelin' it today.Some other bloggers might be so give them a read. Dawn is a new find and she's ridiculously reasonable (unlike me).The homeschool Parents are irritated with me... again. I've been called a pig, and a rhino, one inferred that I'd had a nose job (wrong) and botox (right and I recommend it for all) and that I was so bored even my housekeeper was bored.Not bored at all, I just got done with a 3 hour stint in Adam's classroom where I am (once again) thrilled to not be a Kindergarten Teacher and planning like crazy for a great gift for his teacher. She's a miracle worker... little heads bouncing around, teeth falling out, hands in butts (their own but vile nonetheless), teasing, laughing, joking, spinning, falling, crying, laughing again, hand in butt again...Kindergarten Teachers work magic. I need a nap.But I did manage to run 3.5 miles and be home by 5:30 am so Hotty Hubby could dash out at 5:45 to catch his plane. We'll be joining him tomorrow on the ...
More About: Random Thoughts , Random , Thoughts , Blogg

Forgot to Trash Matt Lauer the Narcissist
2007-04-18 22:24:00
I'll have to go to the TIVO to get the exact verbiage but Matt Lauer was on Dateline Tuesday night proclaiming his own import.Yes, the nightly news delivered through the prism of your celebrity.Yes, thank you so very much, it all has meaning now. You are so terribly important.
More About: Matt Lauer , Trash , Narc

Someone's Child
2007-04-17 20:19:00
Because grief like this does not have words.Donating to a cause might help you feel better.Daniel Perez Cueva, 21Lauren McCain, age unknown, of Hampton, VaKevin Granata, 46Liviu Librescu, 76,G.V. Loganathan, 51Ross Abdallah Alameddine, 20, of Saugus, Mass. Austin Cloyd, age unknown, was a freshman Jamie Bishop, 36, an instructor in German and German literatureRyan Clark, 22, from Martinez, Ga.Jocelyne Couture-Nowak, age unknownDaniel Perez Cueva, 21, a student from Peru who was studying international relationsCaitlin Hammaren, 19, of Westtown, N.Y.Jeremy Herbstritt, 27 of Johnstown, PennEmily Hilscher, 19, from Woodville, Va.Matthew La Porte, age unknown, from Dumont, N.J.Jarrett Lane, age unknown, from Narrows, Va.Henry Lee, age unknown, from Roanoke, VaDaniel O'Neil, 22, of Lincoln, R.I.Juan Ortiz, 26Mary Karen Read, 19, of Annandale, Va.Reema Samaha, 18, from Centreville, Va.Leslie Sherman, age unknownMaxine Turner, age unknown, from Vienna, Va.Mary Read, 19, of Annandale, Va.Al...
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Agent Louis V
2007-04-12 18:53:00
During this most horrible year I met a guy.I think he's really cute in that email kinda way.And he wanted my fun bagSo I sent it to him.... Downtown where he lives... not Uptown where he works.And then he took my fun bag around the world a few times.Okay, Y'all have filthy minds so I'll tell you the story and then I'll quote you his email because the man writes beautifully but refuses to blog.I sell some stuff here and there on eBay and during the darkest time where Dean hovered between life and death I sold Agent Louis V. an enormous Louis Vuitton Suitcase. It's a fun and pretty bag but shipping it requires a trip to the box store, about 15 mintues of my day, typically not a big deal but when you're at the hospital all night long 15 minutes is sometimes just too much to ask for.So when I noticed that Agent Louis V wanted me to ship it to his home where his partner might be I realized I was dealing with someone who would understand why it might take a little longer than neces...
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Newsflash!
2007-04-10 19:19:00
Steven died of AIDS.You can read about it here and here and here and here and here and here and here and here and here and here and here and here and here and hereAnd finally he died.Finally his frail old-before-its-time body quit on us all and Steven became free and young and unencumbered once again.And I breathed a sigh of relief for him.So you can imagine that in my daily life the word AIDS rolled off my lips with great frequency.Here's the text message I got a moment ago:Hi Housewife,What number did you find Steven on? Tell me something...Steven, what was the cause of death?I never asked about the illness? Did Chloe figure out the probate? I hope so...When you have time....Love(an incredibly wonderful man)And because I'm me I texted back:AIDSProbate is a long process, I'm uninvolvedIf you need a martini with lunch please come over, I have a shaker.And it appears I will have a lunch guest today.I hope and pray he wasn't a lover of Steven's. I don't think I have it in me. T...

A Long Series of Non Sequitors
2007-04-10 18:20:00
Sometimes I feel like a good mother.Last night we talked about what you want to be when you grow up.Adam and Eve both think I should train Hippopotamuses when I grow up, Hubby should play center field for the New York Yankees, Adam will be a scientist and Eve will be the doctor that cures AIDS."A doctor that cures AIDS Eve? That's fabulous." I replied"No, The Doctor That Cures AIDS. But Adam can help me in his lab." She replied.Could you even imagine?Also, I have really great women around me. My neighbor Rosie (who is very much at peace with her decision to work) and I were chatting about that the other day and she said, "But you're so good, at least you have dinner together every night so that you can catch these things."How lucky am I to have a neighbor that can put a positive spin on everything? Her husband is staying home from work starting... NOW. I really like her and with him raising the kids I now hold her in much higher regard.I'm going to try to find the positive ...
More About: Series , Long , Serie , Erie

Rosie and Momma and the other Mrs. D.
2007-04-01 19:19:00
Momma wants a prom.Rosie thinks I'm scary. Actually I do believe she used the word terror on a comment.Bigg Confesses everything, and I mean everything. I am typically slack jawed at the end of his posts.So here goes.There was no prom.I went to reform school, where I met the Poker Queen Mrs. Davidson (not to be confused with the blogging Mrs. D.).So I'll get to the Frequently asked questions:Q: Why a Reform School?A: Think 1985 and there are parties with candy dishes full of Cocaine. By 1986 the folks were really tired of me disappearing for weeks at a time.Q: Oh, so you were a drug addict?A: Nope, just too dumb to actually get away with anything. I got easily distracted, I wandered.Q: Oh, poor you *cough* dumbshit. A: What was that? I heard that.Q: Oh shit. I said, Oh shit, how long were you there?A: 19 monthsQ: Was it awful?A: Nah, it wasn't scarring or anything and I met a few really great people there.Among the alumni are:One awe inspiring mother who happens t...
More About: The Other , The O , Momma

Riding on my Reader's Coat tails
2007-03-23 17:32:00
I got nothing.Today I'd ask you all to read A Citizen's entry because he's got something.As much as you all entertain me with your blogs A Citizen has changed moments in my life. He kinda reminds me of my parents with their TM and Yoga and backyard gardening. I like the sense of community he has and I adore the whore pasta recipe he was kind enough to email.Actually it's called Pasta Puttanesca but, being me, I delight in any opportunity to toss the word whore around.Whatever... y'all can get uppity if you want to but I'm doubtful that anyone's maturity would lead them to my blog.I digress.I printed today's post up and I'm leaving it in my purse. Some of you have noticed that my barely simmering rage is threatening to spill over. I've upped the running and all but eliminated the yoga and I think at some point next Tuesday I will sit down and cry my eyes out.But really I haven't had time.Because I'm still pretty pissed off and trying hard to behave like a lady but the ...
More About: Riding , Tails

Just a Rant - Let's see where it goes
2007-03-20 19:51:00
5 am wake up and do a hill run7 miles in 70 minutesI'm not as old as I thought I was7 am wake the rest of them Adam's cough is back and he says his ear hurtsHubby says to send him to school anyhow7:45 Adam puts his backpack on and the seam splits MotherFucker (I screech inside my brain) there's BLT with shaved lettuce everywhere. I sweep, the dog licks the mayo off the floors.8 am Adam and I are at the Doctor (ya know - the gun guy) I decide he'll go to school, just a little late.Adam has a sinus infectionKisses and hugs are very healing. I give him as many as he'll allow and then fill the prescription9:30 walk Adam into school 10 am at Target on the phone with Mrs. Davidson and she begs me to not blog about our phone conversation.It was long and (of course we said some things about some people....)But she did say:I feel like you're judging meAnd I am. I'm judging her and you and whoever I come into contact with at all times. I judge a lot because there are parts of you th...
More About: Rant , Here , Where , Goes

Weekend Update
2007-03-19 18:30:00
I'm reading Mrs. D's Blog and I'm not sure that I'm outraged. I still think people are basically good. Maybe I have my head up my ass, maybe not. I have a lot to learn from Mrs. D.There were protesters at the Fund raiser/Gala/Mommy Prom Saturday night.MIL is very ill.Hubby is very grumpy.Adam and Eve are carefree.I am confused. I have dreams about Steven and about Dachau.The Religious Right scares me more that anyone on Earth. I had a dream Nightmare that I was running from the Nazi's and that all of the trees had just been trimmed. I wanted to hide in a tree but there were no leaves to camouflage me. I hid in an air duct instead and woke shortly thereafter bathed in sweat.Steven's family has sent me into a tailspin. Living in Los Angeles it's easy to poo poo the Religious Right. They are people we talk about while waving our arms through the air, "Pfft... only fat people in Red States care" or "Who would be stupid enough to think that?"A lot of people. They also ha...
More About: Weekend , Update , Weekend Update

If you think that people are born good....
2007-03-01 21:30:00
Then this might surprise you.Check out Rosie having a Smokey Mountain Breakdown (you should be reading this every day anyhow).Scott tells me he attended this church a few weeks ago. The parishioners refused to allow the service to start until Scott left. His pastor/counselor had ask him to leave.I think that every so often people are born evil.I think that evil found it's way into a pastor's heart. He might as well have been the ignoramus that painted faggit on the house.I believe in America and Freedom and Apple Pie.I also believe in being armed.Heavily armed.This makes me a Pissed Off Housewife.
More About: People , Think , Good , That

Cancer and Mouring and Mothering
2007-02-28 20:01:00
I miss my husband. He's been gone for over a week now.He needs to visit his mother who is 7 days into her chemo now and likely feeling ill.He makes me feel safe and smart and needed and whole. I hope I do the same for him. This is a scary time and I'm still feeling the sting of Steven so I'm definitely over emotional.After I dropped Adam off at school today I pulled over the car and cried.Not a little cry.The kind of crying that gives your stomach a workout, the kind where you stop breathing for a moment and you think you might die but if you don't cry you won't know that you're alive.Today I cried a lot.Then I went home, washed my face and called Mrs. D because she always has something to say and she always makes me laugh.Last night I went to the trunk of Hubby's car and found a bag of Steven's clothing. It's not the right thing to do but I'm keeping it. It's mine.My father in scuba diving alone in Mexico. The risk he is taking is ridiculous but I guess he needs to...
More About: Cancer , Mothering , Erin

How can I forget a friend?????
2007-02-23 04:52:00
In the end of January 2003 Steven's partner succumbed to AIDS.His name was Frank and we were friends, we had been for 6 years but we weren't as close as Steven and I were.I'm trying not to sob and vomit because I can't remember Frank's last name.I know it's stupid but I can't remember and I'm furious that someone so decent and kind can't be remembered.I'm trying to contain my venom today but it's been precious few weeks and I'm feeling terribly abandoned.My father is on his way over to help with the kiddos. When Hubby is away I feel the loneliness of no more Steven even more intensely.I'm so glad my Dad is on the way.My mother in law started Chemo today.I hope G-d didn't forget about us.
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I Called Steven's Mom Today
2007-02-22 00:38:00
I wanted to hear that deep south swampy accent say, "I love you" and she didn't disappoint.We are inexorably bound.
More About: Today

The Funeral Was "Beautiful" - The Chemo Begins Today
2007-02-12 19:29:00
Apparently it was a beautiful funeral with a baby blue casket and a lot of flowers.Steven's entire graduating High School class showed up. It was 90 minutes long and the town virtually shut down.Like my cyber-rock Kenn I wonder if the small town that gave West Hollywood the gift of Steven celebrated the life of a man taken by AIDS or by Lymphoma.Since no mother should bury a child (did I mention that Steven was the second of her sons to succumb to AIDS?) I will reserve judgment.Some of the guys are very angry that Steven wasn't buried here. I don't share that rage, I wonder if it's just exhaustion.My mother in law is due to begin chemotherapy today. The doctors have given her a 50% chance of getting to remission.My children are frightened and there's nothing I can do to allay their fears. The fear that their Grandmother will die is a real and reasonable one. They are also saddened by Steven's death but they take it in stride.Adam and Eve want to know that Mom and Dad are ...
More About: Today , Beautiful , The Funeral , Chem , Funeral

Skiing Alone Flying through powder
2007-02-09 06:33:00
We ran away.We took the kids and we are literally on top of a mountain.Hubby's mother had a 5.5 hour emergency surgery yesterday. It's lymphoma and it's bad. I told him she could come live with us, that I would take care of her if it's what he wanted. I also promised to not repeat the conversation.He is my husband, any decision he makes will be fine with me. I love him and I'll do anything for him, including caring for his mother who gave me such a magnificent man.Adam and Eve have learned to snowboard. Hubby has learned too.Something wonderful happens to me on the mountain and I'm free.I find the steepest meanest trails I can, covered in powder to my knees and I ski so hard I fight for breath and every so often I'm so scared I cry.But I ski like I run. It's intense and it's solo and the physical challenge shuts my brain off for hours at a time.The teenage hotshots whip past me coming off the ski lifts but I glide past them, weaving through the trees, jumping small cl...
More About: Flying , Skiing

Why I hate Poetry and a Link to a VERY Funny home
2007-01-23 18:38:00
Be SURE to check this out. Here's a Dad who is using time lapse photography, his kids will be in motion. Dad... not so much.Also: Poetry blogs bug me.I don't like reading them.Poetry is that weird shit your 7th grade English teacher made you read and interpret.If you have something to say just tell me. Write the sentence and I'll read it.If you don't have all the words for it just wait until you do, don't make me fill in the blanks.Also, I'm not all that concerned with how you feel. I'm much more concerned with how you behave.Just a little rant for you today.*And as an aside, I was invited to a focus group. ME! Could you imagine. Bah hah!I, obviously, won't be going you know peasants under glass and all...
More About: Funny , Home , Hate , Link

Public v. Private School
2006-12-04 20:07:00
Public School 1. The parents are largely single2. The parents are too young to be parents3. Please stop showing up drunk to the PTA meetings4. Don't double park your Mercedes5. Teachers, retire when it's your time, stop sleeping!6. Kids steal because they have a sense of entitlement7. Kids don't cheat much, they're cool with 3 out of 48. Drugs? Not yet9. Clothing, the latest from the Limited Too10. Kids are basically good, their older siblings could use a little more supervision11. The playground is CHAOS but Eve has learned to hold her own, a very important skill12. Learning? Oh yeah, these kids are learning a lot!Private School1. The parents are largely married (don't know how happy but they're married)2. The parents are are the same age as my parents, seriously, wasn't it a little rough having your first kid at 43?3. Please stop showing up stoned on prescription meds to the PTA meetings4. Don't double park your Bentley5. Teachers... wow, I've never seen...
More About: Public , Riva