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13 Work-Related Confessions
2007-05-17 20:40:00
Thirteen Work Related Confessions 1. I’ve taken things from the supply closet for personal use.2. I went to a conference in Orlando, Florida and skipped out one day to go to Disney World3. When my boss is out of town, I have her permission to forge her signature on legal documents.4. When other bosses heard about this, they asked me to forge their signatures too. I can only do 2 other signatures well enough to forge.5. I went to a party at my boss’ house and walked in on her husband using the bathroom. The next day, I apologized to her and her husband hadn’t mentioned it to her.6. When my co-workers throw me baby showers, I go into labor. (I went into labor 6 hours after my first shower. My water broke at my second baby shower.)7. One of the custodians once asked me out on a date. I was just about to get married. He was married (still is, actually). He told me it was a good chance for me to ‘get it out of my system.’ I don’t even want to think about what that meant.8. I s...
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Gift Giving
2007-05-16 11:42:00
For Mother's Day, I didn't get a gift. When Gavin asked what I wanted I told him I didn't want anything so he didn't get me anything. Gavin and I are the "ask your spouse what they want and get them what they requested" or the "let's not get gifts for each other but instead buy something nice that we can both use" type of people (we got a massage chair one year). And I know people who think that's weird. I know people who think that's horrifying. Like my sister-in-law. But that's for another post....I'm curious. How does gift giving work in your house? Select all that apply.1. My spouse/significant other:a. always knows what to get me without me saying or dropping hints.b. asks me what I want.c. doesn't remember to get me a gift.d. just gets me a card.e. remembers the morning of the special occasion and runs to the drug store to get me something crappy.f. takes me out for dinner.g. gives me a gift certificate so I can buy what I want because s/he always gets...
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C.L.A.S.S.Y.
2007-05-15 21:11:00
I think we all have at least one annoying neighbor. I certainly do. The guy has a huge tv in his garage that he uses to watch whatever is the sporting event of the day. One night, he and his friends were singing karaoke. I really didn't need to hear "Achy Breaky Heart" at 12:30am. Really, I didn't.And the guy pees in his yard. Yes, it's too hard for him to walk into his house to pee so he pees in his yard. Lovely.Everyone all together now: C.L.A.S.S.Y.!!

Apologies
2007-05-15 00:13:00
By the way, I wanted to let you all know that since I've been in a crappy mood since this weekend, I haven't been commenting on your blogs. Mostly because I don't want to spread this mood around. But I have been reading and it's been therapeutic. I'll start commenting again tomorrow!
More About: Logies , Polo , Logi

Makeover Monday #3
2007-05-14 23:56:00
Makeover Monday is just about over and I'm only now getting to my post...MoodSwingMommy invited us to participate in Makeover Mondays with her. My goal (again) last week was to spend more time with Nicholas. My specific ideas on how to do this, and whether I was able to do each one, are below:1. Pick him up from school 30 minutes early.Yes, I was able to pick him up early 4 of the 5 days. Most days, we just went home and played. On Friday, I decided to take him to a park to run around and get him really tired so he would go to sleep quickly to play. That was a lot of fun. Until it was time to go. And here's how it went:Me - Okay, time to go!Nicholas - No! I want to play!Me - We don't have time. Your grandparents are bringing Elise home in 5 minutes.Nicholas - No! I want to play!Me - You can pick one more thing to do: run one lap, go down the slide once, or jump off that over there.Nicholas - No! I don't want to do one more thing! I want to do lots more things!I won't go into th...
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Job Description
2007-05-14 02:23:00
Happy Mother's Day! Hope you enjoy this!-------------------POSITION:Mother, Mom, Mama, MommyJOB DESCRIPTION:Long term, team players needed for challenging permanent work in an often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities. Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.RESPONSIBILITIES:The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimu...
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The Big Kahuna Speaks
2007-04-27 17:18:00
The saga continues...Remember the note I left for the person who stole my breastmilk? It's still the talk of the town and when the big boss (a.k.a., the Big Kahuna) got wind of the note, he wasn't too pleased. Yes, I got called to the prinicipal's director's office. He understood how upset I was but said I shouldn't have left the note. I agreed.But, I pointed out that the issue goes beyond my missing breastmilk. It's about prinicples and that someone stole food, regardless of what kind of food. While someone's stolen sandwich might not have evoked the same emotion as my stolen breastmilk, it's still upseting to have something taken from you. He agreed. After my meeting with him, he sent out this e-mail:I was greatly disappointed to find out that earlier this week, someone's breastmilk went missing from the refrigerator in the lounge. I have also heard complaints that it was inappropriate for the mother to have stored her breastmilk in the refrigerator because it is a bodily...
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The Ass, The Bitch & The Refrigerator
2007-04-26 20:25:00
The other day, I left a nasty note for the person who stole my breastmilk from the community fridge at work. And as a result, I'm the topic of 'water cooler' talk: people stop to ask me what happened and I've gotten a lot of e-mails from people: from "Oh my gosh" to "Ewwwww" to "You go, girl!"And then there was this one...Shauna,First of all, that was a horrible rude note that you left. No one needed to know about your "creamer".Second, if you leave your breast milk in a public refridgerater, don't expect it to be there when you come back. Don't you know it is a bodily fluid! How would you feel if I left my urine right next to your lunch! Disgusted, I'm sure.Do not leave your breast milk in the public refridgerator. Get your own refridgerater!JT---------------Yeah, thanks a lot. And since I'm still annoyed with this e-mail and it's Thursday, I thought I'd put together a Thursday Thirteen...1. You are a pompous ass.2. It's spelled refrigerator. Not refridgerater.3. Take so...
More About: Bitch , The A , Gera

Dear Coffee Drinker
2007-04-24 17:35:00
Dear Coffee Drinker:Did you try the new creamer that was in the fridge yesterday? It was my special blend. I made it myself. You must have enjoyed it because it was all gone when I left at the end of the day so I don't have any to share with my daughter. She was so disappointed.I just brewed a nice hot pot of coffee. Please help yourself. But don't use all the breastmilk this time; try to save a little for my daughter. She'll be so happy.Thanks.Shauna---------------------- ---------------Yesterday, I got to work and found out the floor is being ripped out in the room where my refrigerator is - the refrigerator where I keep my breastmilk. And since I didn't have a warning of said work, I was unprepared and didn't have a cooler. So I needed to store my milk in the refrigerator in the lounge - the refrigerator that everyone else uses. No big deal, right? Well, at the end of the day, I went to the fridge to get my milk and it wasn't there. It. Wasn't. There. But, the empty...

Roses Are Red...
2007-04-24 03:35:00
Eliza Jean at Dreams To Come True tagged me for this poetry meme.... to finish a "Rose s are red" poem and then tag 3 people.Roses are redViolets are blueI got tagged for a memeAnd now I'm tagging you!So, consider yourself tagged!If you leave your link in the comments, I'll include it here.

Alone Time
2007-04-22 08:28:00
Lately, I've been jonesin' for some alone time. Just me alone doing what I want. Hard to come by when you've got 2 kids (one still a baby who doesn't sleep through the night), a husband and a cubicle in an office you share with 4 other people.When I told this to Gavin earlier tonight, he was very sweet and told me I could have some alone time and he'd go to another room and do his thing. Sounds great, right? Well, alone time isn't really alone time when you're not alone. Every 20 minutes he was back, getting something he forgot (that didn't bother me), looking over my shoulder, asking what I was doing, giving me a kiss. Let me tell you... You know what's more annoying than not having alone time? Thinking you'll have alone time and then not having it.
More About: Time , Lone , Alone

10+ Things You Didn't Know About Women
2007-04-22 02:01:00
Esquire magazine asked some female celebrities to share "10 things you didn't know about women." Here are some of my faves:Sela Ward- Sometimes we think we really understand men. Then we regain consciousness.- Superskinny women really irritate us. We hate when they say, "Sometimes I just forget to eat." Now, I've forgotten my anniversary and where I parked my car. But I've never forgotten to eat.- We do like to have sex, just not at midnight when we have to get up at the crack of dawn to feed two kids, three dogs, and a pair of fat goldfish.- We'll gladly agree to stop complaining about our "time of the month" if men will kindly take over the little chores of childbearing, morning sickness, and postpartum emotional swings. Deal?- Men are free to think they're the boss, as long as they know we're the chairman of the board.Julia Louis-Dreyfus- When we say we "almost tried that in college," it means we did. At least twice.- When we start getting undressed in front of you with the...
More About: Women , About , Know , Things , Thing

Undies
2007-04-21 03:08:00
Seems like underwear is the hot topic right now. Since I am posting on the topic, I must be cool too! hahaha.Anyway, I had the tv on last night and on comes a Hanes commercial with Jennifer Love Hewitt fussing over her bras until she finally puts on the new Hanes bra and voila! no more bra problems. The rest of the photo shoot goes well and she tosses out all the other bras. It was a cute commercial, but I couldn’t help but scoff a little at Jennifer Love with her perky pre-baby boobs and think, “Yeah, you think you have it bad now. Just wait until you’ve got two kids, your boobs sag and nothing is quite so pert again.”But it got me thinking about women and their bras. Every woman has at least one bra horror story. Here's one of mine...When I was in high school, I did gymnastics. One day, I wore a sports bra to school under my clothes (don’t ask me why, I don’t remember). That afternoon, I had a gym meet but i forgot a bra. My coach wouldn’t let me wear my sports bra ...
More About: Undies , Dies

Thursday Thirteen
2007-04-19 21:05:00
Thirteen Famous People I've Met1. Marcia Cross2. Greg Louganis3. Danny Ponce (from Valerie’s Family)4. Rick Springfield5. Kofi Anan6. Tom Selleck7. Cedric Ceballos (former basketball player with the Phoenix Suns and the Los Angeles Lakers)8. Jim McMahon (former quarterback with the Chicago Bears), at the peak of his career9. Daniel Dae Kim (“Jin” from Lost)10. Steve Perry (former lead singer of Journey)11. David Copperfield12. Jim Nabors13. Penn JiletteLinks to other Thursday Thirteens!1. Dana at Life Turned Upside Down2. Toni at Special K Family(leave your link in the comments and I’ll add you here!)Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who ...
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Sheltering Our Children
2007-04-18 09:54:00
Yesterday, I purposely avoided posting about the recent tragedy in Virginia. Everyone is already talking about it and others have said things better than I could.But, thoughts of the event are never far from my mind. Last night, I watched Nicholas build a tower of blocks and knock it down with a triumphant exclamation. He knows nothing of the events of Monday's shootings or of the events of September 11. And I intend to keep it that way. For awhile.But I wonder… When will he be old enough where I cannot shelter him from the turmoil of our world? And while I wish I could always shelter him from such aching, I know I cannot. And more importantly, I should not. No matter how difficult it is for me to discuss such things with him (and Elise, when she's older), it would be far worse for them to hear of such events from peers.This is the world I was raised in: where my parents, intending to shield me from all the hate and pain in the world, raised me in a home devoid of TRUE emotion....
More About: Children , Ring , Child , Teri , Shelter

I Think Therefore I Blog...
2007-04-17 21:42:00
.Lene over at Families Are Like Fudge presented me with the Think ing Blog gers Award. Thanks, Lene!And now, I must pay it forward and hand out five more awards. The problem is, Lene and I must think alike because some of her nominees would have been mine. But, never fear, there are many other great bloggers out there. And here are five. Please check them out. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do!1. Janet a.k.a. WonderMom at Dancing Through. Janet is open, honest and hilarious. Her analogy of life as a dance is a fun view of life. (Update: I need to change the title of this post to "I Blog There fore I Steal." Apologies to Janet aka WonderMom for stealing the title of her blogpost when she was first nominated for this award. Yes, she's that good. )2. Cris at June Cleaver After A Six-Pack. The blog title about says it all. Cris will tell it like it is. She doesn't sugar-coat anything and bares it all. Love it!3. In The Trenches Of Mommyhood. She has a nice mix of mommy anecdotes and ...
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Karma
2007-04-16 23:18:00
My evening last night:- Dinner at a chinese restaurant.- Dinner at a chinese restaurant which has small tables.- Dinner at a chinese restaurant which has small tables. Tables so small that everything is within reach of the baby who is grabbing at everything.- Dinner at a chinese restaurant which has small tables. Tables so small that everything is within reach of the baby who is grabbing at everything which are also on carpeting.- Dinner at a chinese restaurant that has no bathroom.- Dinner at a chinese restaurant that has no bathroom but a nice tree in the parking lot.- Dinner at a chinese restaurant that has no bathroom but a nice tree in the parking lot that Nicholas peed on.- Dinner at a chinese restaurant that has no bathroom but a nice tree in the parking lot that Nicholas peed on and in the process peed on his own foot.- Bathtime for Nicholas.- Bathtime for Nicholas who was allowed to play in the tub before his bath.- Bathtime for Nicholas who was allowed to play (unsupervise...
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Birthday Party
2007-04-15 23:15:00
My nephew Luke turns 3 this coming week. His birthday party was last night. His parents, Matt and Dena, had the party at their house. Their 1100 square foot house. They invited 50 people. 12 of which were under 10 years old. Yes, it was crowded. No, there was no room. Yes, creepy father-in-law-in-law was there. I managed to avoid him for the first hour. But he got me later - when I was holding Elise. And he offered to carry her. Uh. NO. And then oblivious mother-in-law-in-law told me about their granddaughter will only let creepy father-in-law-in-law carry her. Nope, didn't make me want to let him carry her.And you know what? Luke drooled on the cake again! That's the fourth time he's done it, each happening the same way: Matt picks Luke up and leans him over the cake and Luke drools on the cake.The best part? Matt told Gavin (in confidence) that Dena got a picture of Luke drooling on the cake, but deleted it. (Damn!) Hopefully this means no more drool on the cake!
More About: Party , Birthday Party , Birthday , Birth , Part

Grouchy
2007-04-15 01:06:00
Today, I am grouchy. Grouchy because after the kids woke up, I let them both climb in bed with us so I could lie down for a little longer and Gavin said to me: "Why do your kids have to be in bed with us so early?"My response? "It's not my fault that you're tired because you stayed up until 2 am watching your stupid basketball game when you knew the kids would get up at 7am because they always get up at 7 am. You chose to stay up late. I didn't choose to get up at 3 am to feed a crying baby. You weren't the one who got up at 4:30 am to take the kid to the bathroom. Don't tell me you're tired. I'm tired too. Okay, kids. Let's let your Dad sleep for a little longer."But trust me, I won't be grouchy later when I hand the kids to Gavin at naptime and tell him, "You put the kids down for their nap. I'm taking my nap now."
More About: Ouch

Sleep Training
2007-04-14 00:44:00
Elise is 8 months old. With the exception of a handful of nights, she wakes at night and insists on nursing. If Gavin goes in to soothe her, she looks at the door. If I don't come in after awhile, she starts screaming. And now that she's beginning to "talk," she will yell "mama!" (her ONLY word) incessantly until I appear. And if I don't appear, she ends up screaming her fool head off. The up side is that she will often go 7 hours without waking. But since I put her down at 8pm, this means she's waking at 3am. Waking every night at 3am = cranky mama. And there are the few nights when she wakes between 10pm and 11pm, which means she'll sleep 7 hours after I nurse her and she and I will both sleep until morning. Heavenly. Gavin's idea is to wake Elise up at 10pm every night. I don't want to do that - don't want to teach her to wake up every night. I know I'm not the only woman to ever have a baby who night wakes. But I can't help but think about "sleep training...
More About: Training , Rain , Train , Sleep , TRAI

Jimmy
2007-04-12 20:30:00
There's a kid in Nicholas' class named Jimmy . Jimmy, for lack of a more tactful way of saying it, is the 'problem child' of the class - he's the one who is always acting out, always being redirected, and always getting in trouble. He's a nice kid but lacks self-control. Over the year that we've known Jimmy he's gotten better, but he's still the 'problem child' in the class.For the past two months, Jimmy and Nicholas have been 'best friends.' I don't mind this, but I don't like some of he behaviors Nicholas learns from Jimmy and brings home. He's obviously trying to figure out if a forbidden behavior at school is also a forbidden behavior at home (and it is).We've talked with Nick's teacher about this and she agreed that he's likely learning it from Jimmy and trying it out at hime, BUT Nick rarely exhibits any of those behaviors at school. That was good to know. She also told me that they've been trying to tell Nick that if he hangs out with Jimmy, he'll u...

Haircuts
2007-04-12 10:27:00
I'm not one to change my hairstyle often. Or ever. In fact, I can't remember the last time I changed my hairstyle drastically. It might have been when I was 8 and my mother decided she wanted to cut my hair short for the summer and she cut off 6 inches (I was mad at her for weeks). So I'm always surprised when someone comments on my hair. We were at the store and ran into a friend who I hadn't seen in awhile. "Hey, I like your hair!" she said. As we parted ways with my friend Gavin said to me, "Why is it that no one ever asks me about my hair?" "Hon. It's because you're bald."
More About: Hair , Haircuts , Cuts , Haircut

Meerkat Manor
2007-04-11 21:01:00
Last night, Gavin put on the tv and said, "I think you can relate to this." The show was "Meer kat Manor ," a documentary following a gang of meerkats. The episode was called "No place like home."The narrator said:It’s late afternoon and the rest of the Whiskers are still out foraging. Flower’s pregnancy is probably the reason she evicted her daughter Mozart. This will be her second litter of the year. With the impeding birth, she’s hungry and in an uncompromising mood. And Mozart isn’t going to be the only one to feel Flower’s wrath. The pups from Flower’s first litter are more than two months old and are starting to sharpen their hunting skills. Mango has found a giant millipede. But for hungry Flower, her young pups are an easy target for an effort free meal. Poor Mango doesn’t have a chance of keeping her prized millipede. With Flower in this kind of mood, no one’s safe. Even dominant male zaphod heeds her warning growls. He knows not to come between a pregnant fem...

Real Moms Give Their Babies Booby Bottles
2007-04-03 03:15:00
About 2 weeks ago, Kristen over at The Mom Trap asked mothers to complete this sentence and provide a picture. Real Moms ... (whose babies won't take a bottle) give their babies booby bottles!(I couldn't figure out how to take a picture of my baby using her booby bottle since I'm never around when she takes it. Photos taken from ebay.)
More About: Babies , Give , Bottle

Dear Neighbor
2007-03-30 20:31:00
Dear Neighbor:I hate it when you sit in your garage watching your drive-in sized television with the volume on full-blast. I don't need to know the score of the football game and I don't need to hear the play-by-play of the ultimate fighting match you are watching. I'm guessing the best reason you weigh more than 300 pounds is because you sit in your garage constantly and drink beer. Seems like the only time you get up is to get another beer, put your empty beer can or bottle on the tower of empty beer cans and bottles you're erecting, or to pee in your yard. Yes. In your yard. Where your kids play. (I suppose I should be thankful you aren't peeing in my yard, but that would require you to cross the street.) You can't tell me you don't have a bathroom in your house. In fact, I know you have a bathroom in your house because no one else in your family pees in the yard.And when your kids cry? Get up and do something about it. Yelling at your wife, "Take care of her! ...

Triaminic
2007-03-25 20:33:00
The good people over at Tria minic have developed a way to administer medication to my kids who hate anything medicine-y tasting. A thin strip with medicine on it. Difficult to spit out, tastes okay, and mess free! Thanks!
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Smoking Father-To-Be
2007-03-23 19:33:00
My friend's one pet peeve is smoking and she's married to a smoker. She's currently pregnant with her first child. And she's convinced her husband will quit smoking once the baby is born. I'm wagering he won't. She said she'll make him change all the baby's dirty diapers if he doesn't quit smoking. But she won't. This is not a new song and dance for her. She told him she wouldn't move in with him unless he stopped smoking. He didn't stop smoking but she moved in. She told him she wouldn't marry him unless he stopped smoking. He didn't stop smoking but she married him. She told him they wouldn't have kids unless he stopped smoking. He didn't stop smoking but she stopped taking her birth control so they could get pregnant. I'm guessing she'll abandon the "you change the baby's diaper if you are still smoking" after one day. The baby will have a large poopy diaper for an hour, tops, and then she'll have to change the baby's diaper because her husband ...
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The Mothers' Room
2007-03-21 02:14:00
I was at a conference today. In the middle of the conference I excused myself to use my breastpump. I went into the room they designated as a mothers' room and there was another woman in there using her breastpump. She finished before me and as she was putting her things away, she seemed upset. I couldn't help but notice but tried to be discreet (after all, it is a pretty personal act) and not look at her. Then she let out a big sigh and said to me, "This is my first time pumping outside of the house." She told me her baby was 8 weeks old and she was still on maternity leave. Then she said, "I don't know how I'm going to do this when I go back to work." I smiled at her and told her that it takes getting used to, but it gets easier with time. I told her to just take her time, make sure she doesn't rush and everything will get easier. She relaxed and asked me about me - how old my baby is and whether this was my first or not. When I told her my baby was 7 months old and she was m...
More About: Other , Others , Mother , Mothers , Hers

Breastpump Farts
2007-03-17 19:31:00
I'm a WOHM. I like being a WOHM. But I don't like my breastpump. Ugh. At least twice a day, I put a curtain up around my cubicle, undress, attach the parts to my breasts and turn on the pump. Whoosh. Whoosh. Whoosh. Yeah, like my coworkers need to hear that. But, I'm not about to go to the bathroom to do it. That would be worse - not only is it unclean but subject to many more people walking in to hear the whoosh whoosh of my lovely breastpump. The worst part? Not the whoosh whoosh-ing. It's when I happen to move the wrong way and my pump farts. Those of you who've used a breastpump know what I'm talking about. It sounds just like a loud fratboy fart. Nicholas heard it once when I was pumping at home (Elise was with Gavin for the day.) and he couldn't stop laughing. "Make that sound again, Mom!" But I digress. My poor coworkers not only need to put up with the whoosh whoosing, having to tell people to come and see me, "Oh sorry. Shauna's using her pump," ...
More About: East , Breast , Fart , Brea , Pump

Good Call?
2007-03-14 02:15:00
The women's basketball coach at the University of Nebraska-Kearney was late for the NCAA Division II regional championship game. One could argue she had a good reason to be late - she had given birth just hours before tip-off - but others could argue she should have stayed with her newborn rather than be on the court. (She did return to the hospital after the game.)Personally, I don't think she should have left. Yes, she was cleared by the doctor, but what message does that send to your child? Granted, the child won't remember that his mother wasn't there, but the story will be told time and time again as the child grows up so there's no way he won't know about it. (Set aside some money for therapy bills, Coach!) And yes, I was the one who went to work while in labor, went to the hospital after lunch and delivered three hours later.
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