Pass The ChocolatePass The ChocolateWOHM blogs about moments in her life that require chocolate. Mostly a mommyblog Articles
The Obsession Over My Boobs
2007-07-25 20:56:00 Apparently, you aren't the only ones who want to know about my boobs. Last night, I asked Nicholas to draw a picture of our family. He started by drawing me. Then he drew Elise "in Mommy's lap." And then he drew "Mommy's breasts because Elise is sucking on them." Lovely.I stopped him there. I had a feeling he'd draw his penis when he drew himself. To which Gavin said, "He can draw my penis. As long as he draws it big. You know, because it is." Nicholas replied, "Yeah Dad, your penis is HUGE!" Gavin was very proud. More About: Obsession , The O , Boob
Boy or Girl?
2007-07-22 01:14:00 I got an e-mail from a friend. She knows someone who has a friend or cousin or dogwalker (I don't remember the details) who has a baby; and said baby is always being confused as being the wrong gender.And this upsets the baby's mother. So this poor woman sent out pictures of her baby and asked all her friends whether the baby is a boy or a girl. But since my friend already knows the gender of the baby, she didn't think it was fair for her to say objectively whether the baby looks like the other sex. So she asked my opinion. I gave it to her and I asked whether I was right.Here's the baby. What do you think? Is this Patrick or Patricia?P.s. I'll tell you whether I guessed correctly - and the baby's gender - tomorrow. More About: Girl
Sour Skittles
2007-07-19 20:20:00 Apparently many of you come to my blog for my boob stories. (Gavin will be so proud.) But anyway, this isn't a story about my boobs, but it's a boob story nonetheless.I'm sure I'm not the only one who has seen the commercial for sour skittles. And I'm sure I'm behind the times on this, but since Gavin and I live and die by our TiVo, we never watch commercials. So, as we were fast-forwarding through commercials last night, Gavin said, "STOP! You have to go back. I want to see that commercial." And we watched it. Three times. Because Gavin couldn't stop laughing. He couldn't decide if he was laughing because he thought it was funny, laughing because he was horrified or laughing because he was uncomfortable. Being a breastfeeding mother, I was a little offended, although I couldn't really put my finger on why. I just was. What's your take?(Sorry, I couldn't get the video to load. Click here to view the commercial on You Tube.) More About: Skittles , Skit
NC-17
2007-07-17 20:31:00 No doubt because I talk about my boobs, my nephew's penis, car salesmen, and my non-existent sex-life.
It's Going To Be One Of Those Days
2007-07-16 21:42:00 Ever have one of those days where you wake up and you know it's going to be one of those days where the world shits on you? And when you think that there can't possibly get any worse, you get shit on again? Today is one of those days.It actually started last night. Elise came down with the runs. She had three nasty diapers in the hour before bed. She woke twice overnight with more nasty poopy diapers, and wanted to be held, comforted and nursed to sleep.Nicholas woke up at 5 AM (five! frickin'! o'clock!) this morning, climbed into bed with us and talked incessantly about the toy he wanted to buy with the gift card he was given for his birthday. He suddenly leapt out of bed only to have an pee accident. I cleaned him and the floor and climbed back to bed only to have the alarm go off 10 minutes later. On full blast. Apaprently, as he was chattering, Nicholas was playing with the volume knob on my alarm clock.Elise started screaming, a sure sign she had yet another nasty diaper fo... More About: Days , Going , Goin
Nicholas' Birthday
2007-07-12 03:39:00 Two weekends ago, we had a little birthday party for Nicholas , who turned 4. Matt, Dena and Luke show up 2.5 hours late. Before you get your panties in a bunch (sorry to the male readership), all was well because they did have the decency to call to tell us they would be late. Unfortunately, they were already two hours late when they called. (Resume panty bunching.)By the time they showed up, everyone had already eaten and the kids were back outside playing in the kiddie pool and running around the yard. Naturally, all Luke wanted to do was play. After all, he could see the kids running around, hear them screaming and laughing and he was stuck inside with Dena hovering over him making sure he ate every morsel of that damn fishstick. Gavin felt bad for Luke so he sat with them and told Luke funny stories to get him to eat. Once Luke had eaten enough (according to Dena's standards), Gavin took Luke to wash up and use the bathroom. As Luke sat on the toilet, he blurted out, "Nicholas ... More About: Birthday
How To Do Laundry The Shauna-Way or If My Mother-In-Law Knew, She Would
2007-06-08 09:43:00 METHOD #11. Carefully sort laundry according to like colors.2. Realize that you have so much damn laundry that you can create seven loads: blacks, jeans, pinks & purples (mostly Elise’s clothes), other colors, whites, sheets, towels.3. Spend all day doing laundry. As each load comes out of the dryer, throw it on top of the previous loads piled on the bed.4. Spend an hour folding laundry after putting the kids to bed.5. Curse yourself and swear you’ll throw a load in every day instead of let it pile up.METHOD #21. Sort laundry according to like colors.2. Place load #1 in washer.3. When the washer is done, place load #1 in dryer.4. After putting the kids to bed, leave load #1 in the dryer because you’re too tired to get it out and fold.5. (Preferably done the following day.) Place load #2 in washer.6. When the washer is done, realize that load #1 is still in the dryer. Probably very wrinkled. Place load #2 inside dryer with load #1 because then you can dry load #2 while taki... More About: Laundry , Mother , Would , To Do
13 Reasons To Say Yum!
2007-06-07 23:02:00 Thirteen Reasons To Say Yum!1. Brad Pitt2. Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson3. Harrison Ford4. Hugh Jackman5. James Denton6. Johnny Depp7. Josh Hollaway8. Kiefer Sutherland9. Matt Damon10. Michael Vartan11. Orlando Bloom12. Ryan Reynolds13. Sean Connery*Toni and I had the same idea this week!*Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!View More Thursday Thirteen Participants More About: Sons
Lesson Learned
2007-06-06 20:43:00 Yesterday, I got up from one of my many naps and had to use my breastpump. Elise was at the babysitter but Gavin and Nicholas were at home (Nicholas' school is on break for the week). So as I sat on the couch with my pump, Nicholas walked in. He started to giggle. Then he started to laugh. And then he yelled:“Mom! I see your breasts and they are going back and forth!”Note to self: Don’t let Nicholas see you using your breastpump anymore. More About: Learn , Less , Lesson , Esso , Learned
Baby Gate Help
2007-06-02 23:04:00 Quick question: I need help. I have a split-level house and need to get a baby gate to keep Elise from going on the stairs to the playroom by herself. But, the gate also needs to be easy for Nicholas to use so he can go up and down the stairs (there is no bathroom in the playroom). Any suggestions? Any products out there I should avoid and not bother spending my money on? Thanks! More About: Gate , Baby
Dena And The Maternity Pants
2007-06-01 09:51:00 Dena, my sister-in-law, is pregnant so I loaned her a bunch of maternity clothes.*phone rings* Shauna - Hello?Dena - Where are the black pants?S - Uh... Huh?D - Where are the black pants?S - Uh... Who is this?D - It's me. Do you have the black pants?S - Dena? Oh. Hi. I, uh..., didn't recognize your voice for a minute there. Sorry.D - Oh. Okay. Where are the black pants?S - Maternity pants? They're not in the bag?D - NO.S - Oh. Sorry. To be honest with you, I don't know what's in the bag because when my friend returned clothes to me, I just gave it all to you. I didn't bother looking through them.D - So you don't know where the black pants are?S - Um. No. Not if they aren't in the bag.D - The black pants. With the lace on the legs.S - I didn't have black pants with lace on them.(side note: I didn't need to see the contents of the bag. It just doesn't sound like my style.)D - Yes you do. You gave them to me last time I was pregnant.S - I did?D - Yeah.S - Hm. I guess those m... More About: Pants
Shauna's 13 Driving Rules
2007-05-31 20:21:00 Shauna's 13 Driving Rule s 1. Don't do your makeup in the car. Unless you want to look that good on the way to the hospital.2. Use your blinker.3. When you have a yellow light at an intersection and can't cross because there are too many cars, don't zoom ahead anyway and block the intersection. It just means that people going the other direction (you know, the people who are about to get a green light) can't go.4. Don't speed up to pass me, get in front of me and drive slower than you were before.5. The lines on the road are to tell us where the lanes are. Use them. They are not just suggestions.6. Don't read while driving your car.7. Don't take up more than one parking space just because you want extra room on the sides of your car.8. If you have to go back and forth to park your car because you're on your cellphone, say, "Wait a minute, I'm parking my car," put the phone down, park the car and then resume your call.9. #8 applies to anything you find challenging regarding d... More About: Ving
I'm A MILF!
2007-05-25 10:54:00 At the last minute, we didn't have childcare for Elise yesterday (her babysitter got sick and the grandparents weren't available). I took the morning off and Gavin watched her afterschool (he's a teacher). I got to Gavin's school a little early so I waited outside his classroom. When class was dismissed, Gavin took Elise and I went to work. When I got home, Gavin told me, "Elise really shook things up. The kids were talking about how cute Elise is... And you. I had four boys come up to me and say, 'Mr. __, your wife is HOT!' How's that? You're a MILF!"I guess I still got it. Ha ha ha! More About: Milf
13 Favorite 80’s Movies
2007-05-24 20:53:00 13 Favor ite 80’s Movies 1. Back To The Future2. A Christmas Story3. Dead Poet's Society4. Footloose5. A Fish Called Wanda6. Heathers7. Say Anything8. Sixteen Candles9. Spaceballs10. Stand By Me11. This Is Spinal Tap12. Weird Science13. When Harry Met SallyOther Thursday Thirteen Participants:
Would You Like Milk With That?
2007-05-23 20:40:00 Nicholas was particularly funny this morning at breakfast which made it difficult for me to nurse Elise (she just wanted to watch him and laugh). And after the umpteenth time of putting her back on the breast, she yelled and pushed away. In the process, she pushed on my boob and milk sprayed. This reduced Nicholas to tears of laughter. And this:"Do it again, Mom! Make your milk squirt out of your breast again! Dad! Mom's milk squirted on the table! It landed on your pancakes!"Yes, it did. No, Gavin didn't eat breakfast this morning. More About: Milk , That , Like , Would
Day Care Nightmare
2007-05-20 09:11:00 Toni2 said:I'm seriously deeply saddened that the childhood I knew is no longer realistically available to children. Daycare and increases in crimes committed against children make it virtually impossible for kids today to play outside all summer long. We had the entire neighborhood (and then some) to imagine in and explore. We were out until dark, getting tons of fresh air and physical excersize. We were so not bound by concrete walls, computers, television, or video games. What a wonderful time it was. And how quickly it died away for next generations.And unfortunately, here's proof she was right. More About: Nightmare , Care , Mare , Day Care
Gift Giving - Part Two
2007-05-20 02:11:00 Gavin and I have a deal with most of the people in his family: adults don't get gifts. (Kids do.) Most of us have young kids and mortgages, so we did it so everyone could save time and money. We've been doing this for a couple years now and it's been great!My sister-in-law, Dena, refuses to participate in this. She thinks it's "horrible." So, we continue to exchange gifts with Matt and Dena. And I always have trouble getting the perfect gift. You see, when we were helping Matt and Dena move and I found a pile of at least 20 gift cards, unused. I asked her if she planned on using them and she said no, because they were from places she didn't usually shop. So I offered to give her cash for some of the gift cards and she could use the money to get anything she wanted. She thought that was rude. And on another occasion, I opened her closet (she asked me to go into her closet for something) and it was full of unopened toys and baby clothes with the tags still on them - all things Lu... More About: Gift , Giving , Part , Ving
Every Parents' Nightmare
2007-05-18 23:29:00 I heard about this a couple of days ago and debated about whether I should post about it... Three year old Madeline McCann went missing while her family was on vacation. Madeline was left with her twin siblings (2 years old) in the hotel while her parents had dinner at a nearby restaurant and checked on the children every half an hour.I don't doubt the parents are suffering because their little girl is missing. I don't doubt they regret leaving their children alone. And I don't doubt they thought it was safe for them to leave their children alone and check on them. But...Well, I'm afraid if I continue this, it'll turn into a judgement on the parents by picking apart the details given. And of course we all say "that'll never happen to me" but we all know that it does indeed happen.I hope people will learn from the McCann's. And I hope they find that little girl alive.Ever yone, please give your kids an extra hug and kiss tonight. More About: Nightmare , Parents , Rent , Mare
Babies Galore!
2007-05-18 22:10:00 In my department, we had two women who were pregnant and due just 1 week apart. We always joked that they could be in the hospital at the same time. Just imagine our surprise when we came in today and found out that not only were they in the hospital at the same time, but they gave birth within 2 hours of each other! Congrats, ladies! More About: Babies , Galore , Babi
Today Is A Day...
2007-05-12 08:35:00 Today is a day I do not feel like SuperMom. Today is a day I deserve to feel like SuperMom. Today is a day the kids do not want me. Today is a day they want their father. Tonight is not the last night that their father will not be home. Today is a day Nicholas couldn't find the words to express his anger at his father for not being home so he bit me.Today is a day Nicholas and I said a prayer for his father because his father wasn't there to give him a kiss at bedtime.Today is a day I am furious at my husband for leaving me with two kids for 10 of the past 12 nights.Today is a day I am not sympathetic to my husband who has had a long two weeks of working days and nights.Today is a day I miss my husband. Today is a day I long for a hug from my husband.Today is a day I am so touched-out by carrying, hugging, kissing, nursing, feeding, bathing the kids that I don't want to be touched by anyone.Today is a day I deserve to feel like SuperMom.Today is a day I do not feel like Sup... More About: Today
Why Do You Blog?
2007-05-11 20:55:00 Having been tagged for a couple of memes, I'm feeling rather popular right now.HomeMom3 tagged me for this: 5 reasons why I blog...The rules are simple, give five reasons why you love blogging (not hard at all) and tag five other bloggers. No tag backs either but be sure to let them know who tagged you.Why do I love blogging?1. Because I've met so many neat people that I wouldn't otherwise have met. (And I expect to meet more!)2. Blog ging is an easy way to talk to people. You don't need to be available at the same time. I can read and write when it's convenient for me and you can read and write when it's convenient for you. This allows for people far away to be in touch, which leads to #1 again.3. Blogging is a way for me to 'get it out.' I started off as a way for me to clear my head and it's therapeutic - cathartic. I like it.4. Blogging is a good way to get good answers and advice.5. Blogging is fun. I love reading what other people have to say - it's good to have peopl...
Anna Quindlen
2007-05-11 03:03:00 Wanted to share this essay I found by Anna Quindlen, Newsweek Columnist and Author.All my babies are gone now. I say this not in sorrow but in disbelief. I take great satisfaction in what I have today: three almost-adults, two taller than I am, one closing in fast. Three people who read the same books I do and have learned not to be afraidof disagreeing with me in their opinion of them, who sometimes tell vulgar jokes that make me laugh until I choke and cry, who need razor blades and shower gel and privacy, who want to keep their doors closed more than I like. Who, miraculously, go to the bathroom, zip up their jackets and move food from plate to mouth all by themselves. Like the trick soap I bought for the bathroom with a rubber ducky at its center, the baby is buried deep within each, except through the unreliable haze of the past.Everything in all the books I once poured over is finished for me now. Penelope Leach., T. Berry Brazelton., Dr. Spock. The ones on sibling rivalry and... More About: Anna Quindlen
When I'm An Old Woman...
2007-05-11 00:43:00 Jenny at Absolutely Bananas tagged me for this. (Which was good timing because I was trying to figure out a good way to talk about these photos.)When I'm an old woman...I hope I don't deteriorate like Eddie Van Halen. I mean, he went from this.to thisLesson learned: Don't do drugs!'Nuff said.Now it's your turn. What will you be like when you're old?Dana from Life Turned Upside DownToni from Special K FamilyRobyn from One Tough MommaCathy from Arkie MamaCarla from Four by 40 You're it! More About: Woman
Part Two: Thirteen Things I Didn't Truly Appreciate Until After I Had Kids
2007-05-10 22:08:00 Thirteen More* Things I Didn't Truly Appreciate Until After I Had Kids 14. Swearing15. Small purses16. Listening to what I want on the radio17. Trying to win a prize on the radio without constant yammering from the backseat18. Laundry that didn’t pile up19. The washing machine20. Going out on dates21. A clean car (inside and out)22. Being able to quickly run into a store to pick up one item23. Wearing sexy underwear24. Uninterrupted adult conversation (preferably with swearing)25. Using the bathroom without someone else in there with you26. Having only one ass to wipe every day (my own)* When I made this list, I actually came up with 26 things. Last week's list here.Links to other Thursday Thirteens!1. Toni2. Dana3. Lene4. HomeMom35. (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you partici... More About: Thirteen , Part
I Blew Someone's Dress Up!
2007-05-08 22:21:00 Thanks to Shelley over at This Eclectic Life for awarding me 2nd place in her "This Blog Blows My Dress Up" Contest! I'm honored to win, and very honored to display the award on my blog - if nothing else, because I love the name of the contest!I recommend you check out all the entries - some pretty funny stuff. And I won't even try to say which was my favorite. More About: Some
Weekend Update
2007-05-07 23:08:00 Nicholas' May Day program on Friday was very cute - in the way that only parents with kids on stage think it's cute. On Friday night, as I was falling asleep (why the hell is it that you always remember stressful thoughts as you are falling asleep thereby preventing you from actually being able to fall asleep?), I realized we had a birthday party to attend on Sunday. And I needed to buy a gift. And there would be no time to recuperate from the week alone with the kids.So on Saturday (I was with the kids all day; Gavin worked from 9-9), I took the kids to the mall to get the gift and to the park so Nicholas could run around like a madman burn off steam and let me get a good nap.After I put the kids to bed, wrapped the gift, and climbed into bed at 9:15. Gavin came home and climbed into bed with me. He was feeling, let's say, amorous. I wasn't. Why, you ask? Didn't I miss Gavin? Sure I did. But the last thing I needed was another person begging for attention or to climb on me and... More About: Weekend , Update , Weekend Update
Makeover Monday #2
2007-05-07 20:32:00 MoodSwingMommy invited us to participate in Make over Monday s with her. My goal last week was to spend more time with Nicholas. My specific ideas on how to do this, and whether I was able to do each one, are below:1. Pick him up from school 30 minutes early. I was able to do this 4 of the 5 days last week. Not bad. The day I didn't pick him up early, I fully intended to do so, but got caught by someone who 'just needed a minute' before I left. And of course, 'a minute' is never really a minute.2. After putting Elise to bed, read 2 books to Nicholas before putting him to bed. This was very much a success. So much that one night I gave him the option of playing or reading (I was tired) and he shouted "Book time!"3. Have him help me make dinner. Nope, didn't do this one at all. Can you say take-out and take-out leftovers? Yeah, that's what we were eating all week. I don't think having him pour the water into a bowl and then mix in the cheese powder to his Easy Mac counts as havi... More About: Over , Makeover , Onda
Where's Shauna?
2007-05-04 20:14:00 Dana suggested we each find a blogger buddy so if we go offline (gasp!) for a couple of days (double gasp!) someone will know how to find us and make sure we're okay. I'm not using the blogger buddy system yet (triple gasp!) but will be offline for the weekend. No, nothing terribly exciting, just no time to blog (quadruple gasp!). Friday, I'm swamped at work but will skip out early to go to Nicholas' May Day program. Saturday, I'm alone with the kids all day; Gavin works from 9-9. Sunday, I'm recouperating from being alone with the kids on Saturday and from having to be a 'single parent' every night this week. My only hope in having an eventful weekend is for good blogging.Happy weekend, everyone! More About: Here , Where
13 Things I Didn't Truly Appreciate Until After I Had Kids
More articles from this author:2007-05-03 20:24:00 Thirteen* Thing s I Didn't Truly Appreciate Until After I Had Kids 1. Uninterrupted sleep2. Staying up late3. Sleeping in4. Skipping breakfast5. Having space in my pantry (baby food jars take up so much room!)6. A clean house7. Leaving something somewhere and later finding it exactly where I left it8. Cooking elaborate meals9. Going grocery shopping and carrying a basket, not pushing the wagon10. Leisurely window shopping (hell, window shopping at all!)11. The drive-thru window at fast food restaurants12. Digital cameras13. Silence* When I made this list, I actually came up with 26 things. Check back next week for the second 13!Links to other Thursday Thirteens!1. Lene from Families Are Like Fudge2. Toni from Special K Family3. Dana from Life Turned Upside Down4. (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is ... More About: Reci 1, 2, 3 |
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