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This Blog Blows My Dress Up Contest
2007-05-02 22:25:00
I've entered the following three posts into the "This Blog Blows My Dress Up" Contes t at This Eclectic Life (Enter by midnight on May 3rd, if you're interested) because I can now laugh about it all.Dear Coffee DrinkerThe Ass, The Bitch And The RefrigeratorI've Got Balls?!
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T-A-C-K-Y
2007-05-02 20:21:00
Jennifer posted a picture a sculpture in her neighbor's yard that is truly hideous. Dana posted a picture of a tacky yard. I haven't found very many tacky yards lately (but I know there will be many around when Halloween is around the corner). But I did see this house awhile ago and only recently had the chance to go back with my camera.... Don't get me wrong, I love mint chocolate chip ice cream, but I don't want my house looking like it.

April Showers...
2007-05-01 20:37:00
At the beginning of April , I returned to full-time work (I was part-time for awhile after I returned from maternity leave). But since then, I spilled breastmilk on my desk, there was a power outage at work which resulted in me deciding to throw out the breastmilk which was in the freezer, someone stole my breastmilk from the fridge at work, I received a nasty e-mail message and was called in to the director's office.I can't help but wonder if this is an omen, or rather, a bunch of omens... Maybe I shouldn't have increased my hours. Or maybe April was a bad month.... April showers bring May flowers, right? Let's hope!Thanks to everyone for their supportive, encouraging, and hilarious comments about my stolen breastmilk. I still can't believe it happened to me. And in re-reading my posts, I can actually laugh about it now. It would make a good episode of a sitcom (remember, I get royalties if any of you sell the story!).
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Real Moms: Don’t F*ck With Us
2007-05-01 09:30:00
Dear Coffee Drinker: Did you try the new creamer that was in the fridge yesterday? It was my special blend. I made it myself. You must have enjoyed it because it was all gone when I left at the end of the day so I don't have any to share with my daughter. She was so disappointed. I just brewed a nice hot pot of coffee. Please help yourself. But don't use all the breastmilk this time; try to save a little for my daughter. She'll be so happy. Thanks. Shauna----------------------------------- --When a Real Mom goes to the fridge to get her breastmilk at the end of a work day and the breastmilk isn’t there. But, the empty bottle was in the sink next to the dirty coffee pot, she will leave notes like that.------------------------------------ -And when a Real Mom gets an e-mail like this:Shauna, First of all, that was a horrible rude note that you left. No one needed to know about your "creamer". Second, if you leave your breast milk in a public refridgerater, don't expect it to be th...
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Makeover Monday #1
2007-04-30 22:09:00
MoodSwingMommy invited us to participate with her in "Make over Monday s" where you pick a goal, post about it and update your status every Monday (see below). Here's mine:Goal: Be more patient with and spend more one-on-one time with Nicholas.I know it seems like two goals, but they are tied together so they are more like one. See, I've noticed that when Nicholas feels I haven't spent enough one-on-one time with him, he gets needy. Needy = whinyWhiny = annoying Annoying child = impatient momImpatient mom = less time with NicholasLess time with Nicholas = even more whining... I think you can see how this spirals downward ...So, I guess the real goal is to spend more one-on-one time with Nicholas. But, I also need to be more patient with him, especially when he's tired or annoyed with Elise for touching (which usually results in sucking on) his stuff.And, since Gavin is working nights every day this week (including Saturday), my patience and time management will truly be teste...
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Chinese Freeze Tag
2007-04-29 09:30:00
Angela from A Moment In My Life tagged me for a game of "Chinese Freeze Tag." Here's how to play:- I'll write 10 (hopefully) interesting facts about me and/or habits of mine.- I'll tag 10 people.- If you've been tagged, you do your own list and tag 10 more people. ("No tag backs.")Here goes...1. I don't like eggs, but I like egg nog. I just don't like the texture of eggs, but loooove the taste of egg nog.2. I really like the show "Gilmore Girls." I TiVo the reruns on ABC Family so I always have something to watch when there's nothing else on tv.3. I gave birth to both of my kids without an epidural or any pain medication. When I was in labor with Nicholas and was in a lot of pain, my nurse said, "okay, let's get the epidural" and I gave Gavin this look or horror. He had to explain to my nurse that I didn't want an epidural. She asked him why and he said, "Because she's nuts." (By the way, I hear that when you get the epidural, there's a lot less screaming.)4...

I've Got Balls?!
2007-04-28 21:40:00
At work I've had a lot of people stop me and say, "you've got balls" because of the note I left. And you know what? I don't like that expression. Obviously thought up by a man.I've got balls, huh? Well, I don’t want balls. Ball s get itchy. They have to be shifted - and always at an inopportune time. If they get hit the wrong way, they cause whining, whimpering, and crying. Who needs that?If you ask me, women are tougher than men.. Women can go months (in some cases, years) on end of not sleeping through the night. Women get sick and still take care of the sick children. Women will hold a sick child as long as necessary without washing off whatever bodily fluid or function happens to ail the child. Women withstand menstrual cramps, pregnancy, morning sickness, and child labor.So until men are able to push something the size of a watermelon out of their body through a hole the size of a grape, I’ll be saying “She’s got some boobs.”

A Kiss Is Just A Kiss, But Chocolate Is Something Special
2007-04-20 10:33:00
It's no secret that I love chocolate. But this might explain why there's been little, er, action at my house lately... (full text below)----------------------------------- ---------Chocolate boosts brain activity and increases heart rate more effectively than kissing, according to British researchers.The study, led by neurophysiologist Dr David Lewis, tested a group of six couples in their twenties and discovered volunteers reacted more strongly to chocolate than their partner's kiss.Heartbeats per minute more than doubled in some cases - increasing from a resting rate of 60 to 140. In addition, the buzz from the taste of chocolate produced a more sustained reaction with volunteers feeling the effects up to four times longer than those generated by a kiss.Participants tasted a piece of dark chocolate>, provided by confectionery giant Cadbury, and the surprising response was noted equally in men and women.Chocolate's feel good factor is widely recognised by consumers and the prod...
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The Creepy Father-In-Law-In-Law
2007-04-11 00:11:00
My sister-in-law has the creepiest father. Every time he sees me, he has to hug me. And it's not an innocent hug, it's a 'come here little girl' kind of a hug. And it grosses me out. And Gavin. So whenever I see him, I try to duck getting too close to him and the obligatory hug.But yesterday I ran into them at the grocery store. I saw him coming and quickly picked up Nicholas (in hopes of the "sorry, I'm carrying the kid right now can't give you a hug"). He waved at me. I waved back. And we passed each other. And about 3 minutes later, after I put Nicholas down, he came back with his wife. "Look, it's Shauna!" leered creepy father-in-law-in-law (we're related through 2 marriages), as if he hadn't seen me 3 minutes before. "Hi, Shauna!" oblivious mother-in-law-in-law said. She chatted with me and Nicholas a little while and I tried to keep my cart between us and them. I told them we needed to get going and turned the cart to go in the other direction when creepy father-in-la...
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Three Things Meme
2007-04-10 08:25:00
Swistle tagged me for this Three Thing s meme.Three Things That Scare Me:1. serious illness or injury to my kids or husband2. giving my kids psychological issues3. bad food handling practicesThree People Who Make Me Laugh:1. Nicholas, Elise, Gavin (this one seems like a cop-out, so I included all of them on one line)2. Adam Sandler3. the people in Stars Hollow (from Gilmore Girls)Three Things I Love:1. laughter2. children3. roller coastersThree Things I Hate:1. mayonnaise2. traffic3. rudenessThree Things I Don't Understand:1. why people block the intersection when driving2. appliance manuals3. how to do our taxesThree Things On My Desk:1. glass of water2. bottle of multivitamins3. chocolateThree Things I'm Doing Right Now:1. taking a break from work2. using my breastpump3. eating chocolateThree Things I Want To Do Before I Die:1. see my children grow to be well-adjusted adults2. hopefully have grandchildren3. get a tattooThree Things I Can Do:1. a back flip2. reverse my car into ju...
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Grandparents Who Spoil
2007-04-10 05:19:00
The other day, my mother-in-law bought Nicholas a toy after I told her not to buy any new toys until his birthday. Nicholas is aware of this rule and told her about it when they were at the store (when I confronted her about it, she verified he did tell her this).This annoyed me. Not because she bought him a new toy. Not because she bought him a new toy after I asked her not to. But because she bought him a new toy after he told her he wasn't allowed to have a new toy. She blatantly undermined me. And in doing so, she taught him that my rules don't matter, at least when he's with her.So I spoke to her and she apologized. Reluctantly. She felt that she could buy him "an Easter present" and it didn't fall under the rule. So we worked out a deal with Nicholas and he opened the toy on Easter.
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The End Of Lent
2007-04-09 02:26:00
Today is Easter. The end of Lent . I didn't give up anything this year. As a rule, I don't give up anything for Lent while pregnant or breastfeeding. I figure I've already given up enough and really can't handle giving up anything else. Besides, if I said I was giving up things for Lent (like caffeine or alcohol) when I'm really giving them up for Elise, that would just be a lie and I don't need any more help on my path to eternal damnation.At the beginning of Lent, I tried to get Elise to give up waking at night. "C'mon, sweetie. You can give it up for just 40 days. You can go back to waking at night on Easter. Just try it for Lent, okay?" But she didn't buy it. So for the past 40 days (and for the 7 months before that), she continues her night waking. Oh well. It was worth a try, wasn't it?

The Outlaws and the Cake
2007-04-07 20:31:00
Gavin's brother, Matt, celebrated his birthday last night. Matt's wife, Dena threw him a party. The top of the cake box was a little smashed and some of the frosting was stuck to the box top. So the cake said, "HAP BIRT MA." This is apparently a carnal sin in Dena's family. Dena's mom took a knife and scraped the frosting off the box top and tried to put it back on the cake (which is always better in theory than in practice). It took her 20 minutes. The kids hovered over her, pushing and shoving like hungry animals. 20 minutes.And because they couldn't stand hearing anymore about how the cake said "HAP BIRT MA," the kitchen staff scared up some chocolate sauce and put it in a ketchup bottle so Dena's mom could use it to write "PY HDAY TT." (I was impressed; it was a pub, not a family restaurant.) And when she was done the cake said "HAPPY BIRTHDAY MATT." Oh so much better.So the candles were lit, we sang and right before he blew out the candles, Matt lifted their ...
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Power Outage - Decision Made
2007-04-07 04:26:00
Yesterday, I got to work and found the power had gone out overnight while I had frozen breastmilk in the freezer.Through internet research, I found out that USDA, The Red Cross and the Louisiana Agriculture Center say a full freezer will hold the temperature for approximately 48 hours (24 hours if it is half full) if the door remains closed. Also, the former Healthy Mothers, Healthy Babies Coalition of Washington State said if frozen breastmilk is slushy or has ice crystals, it can be considered frozen and can be kept in the freezer.Since I am the only one with access to the freezer, I know no one opened it while the power was out. And when I opened it (4 hours after the power went back on), the milk was frozen. But, I can't help but wonder... did the milk melt while the power was out? Probably not. If the milk did melt, could the freezer have dropped in temperature fast enough then to refreeze the milk? Most likely not. But the refrigerator is at least 10 years old... Cha...
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Power Outage!!
2007-04-05 20:32:00
Before I was a mother I didn't think too much about power outages. I mean, they were an inconvenience because we couldn't watch tv or use our computers and all that. And if the outage lasted a long time, I'd toss everything in the fridge and freezer and go to the store (not near where we live - one that didn't suffer the same outage) and restock. (I've got food safety issues like you wouldn't believe!)But now that I'm a mother, I think about stuff like this all the time. Especially as a breastfeeding mother. Especially as a working breastfeeding mother. Who uses her pump all the time.So when I got to work this morning and found this email:Our electricity went off at 5:30 pm yesterday and just came back on at 6:00 am. Please check all your stored food in the ice box to see if it is still edible.and realized I had a 2 weeks worth (!!) of pumped breastmilk in the freezer, you can imagine how much I freaked out. And then I cried. Yes, I cried.Thank goodness I have more milk at ho...
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Crying Over Spilled Milk
2007-04-04 18:00:00
Work is hard sometimes. Not just because I miss the kids. Not just because I'm tired because Elise still isn't sleeping through the night. Not just because Nicholas didn't make it to the bathroom on time at 3 am and I needed to clean him - and the floor - and thank God he didn't have the accident in bed which would mean I'd need to change the sheets. At 3 am. Not just because I really don't want to be at work because I'm so tired. But mostly because I just finished using my lovely breastpump and in my rush and fatigue, spilled my milk all over my desk. All over the floor. All over the report I was supposed to turn in this afternoon. Milk all over the carpet (yeah, the maintenence guys are gonna love this. "Uh, guys? I spilled some milk on my carpet. Can I get some carpet cleaner?") Milk that won't be given to Elise. I'm ready for bed and it's only 9am. Give me some chocolate!!
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No New Toys
2007-04-03 20:39:00
You might call them your in-laws, but I call them my outlaws...My mother-in-law bought Nicholas a new toy. After I specifically told her not to get him anything new until his birthday. But, she took him to the toy store anyway. And as they were looking at toys, she asked him which one he wanted. Nicholas told her he wasn't allowed to have any new toys until his birthday. But somehow (the details are still unclear - hard to come by when you're talking with a 3 year old) they bought a new toy anyway. When Nicholas came home, he told me about his new toy. I reminded him that he wasn't supposed to get new toys until his birthday. He said he knew that but Grandma bought him a new truck anyway. Gavin - Are you supposed to be telling us this?Nicholas - NoGavin - Did someone tell you not to tell us?Nicholas - Yeah.Gavin - Who?Nicholas - GRANDMA!BUSTED, Grandma! Which part of "no toys until his birthday" did you not understand? And the next time you come over, I don't want to ...
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