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Sweet Memories
2008-03-13 21:05:00
The other day was the 10th anniversary of Gavin's grandmother's passing. Gavin was very close to Grandma and I've always joked that Grandma was his first love. He was wildly protective of her and would always buy her flowers on Valentine's Day. (For the record, he bought me flowers, too.) But, I digress...On the day of the anniversary, we took the kids to the cemetery to place flowers for Grandma. Then we took them home and pointed to all the pictures of her that we have hanging in our house.Last night, as I was drifting off to sleep, I started laughing. Gavin thought I lost my mind. But, I didn't. I just had a memory flash of Grandma - one of my fondest. This morning, I woke in the best mood and I like to think it's because Grandma was with me while I was in such a peaceful state.Here's the memory... (Maybe you'll find it as cute as I do.)Years before she died, when we adopted a cat for Grandma. We also had the cat fixed. And this is the conversation Gavin had wi...
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My Life Is A Joke
2008-02-04 19:45:00
Gavin's cousin got married this weekend and Gavin's jazz combo played at the reception. And let me tell you... the singer of the jazz combo is gorgeous - by this I mean she is the most beautiful person I've ever seen in real life.But anyway... at one point in the evening, the combo took a break and Gavin was chatting with Matt (his brother). In the meantime, Jenn (the singer) and I chatted - she wanted to know about Gavin's family and I pointed out Gavin's parents, Matt and Dena (Matt's wife).Jenn noticed Matt was carrying his daughter, Jolie. I saw the look in her eyes and knew she wanted to carry Jolie (Jenn loves babies and especially lurves to carry them), so I asked her if she wanted to carry Jolie. Jenn said she would love to carry Jolie, if it was okay with Matt and Dena. Since Matt and Dena have always allowed Jolie to be carried by anyone (even as a newborn in the hospital, they insisted everyone carry her when they visited), I knew it wouldn't be a problem.I s...
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Shauna's Guide To Job Interviews (or "Why My Job Blows")
2007-11-28 19:52:00
1. Use a normal email address. Don't use anything cutesy or annoying, like MyButtStinks@gmail.com (not a real address of an applicant). If you do, you're automatically put on the bottom of my list. Your e-mail address says a lot about who you think you are and I'm not hiring you if your butt stinks so badly that you want the whole world to know it.2. Follow instructions. When I ask you to bring your resume with references to the interview, bring your resume. With references. Don't show up without your resume. You will not get the job.3. Spell check your resume. If I see words like "experence," "wrok," or "universaty" on your resume, you will not get the job. (I'm guessing you didn't read the part of the ad that said "Attention to detail required.")4. Use common sense. If you don't follow instructions (see #2) and thus drive into the wrong parking lot, don't call me from your cell phone and say, "You said I need to drive over the teeth, but that means I need to drive on the w...
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Reflection On Life - Two Lists
2007-11-21 20:07:00
What Drives Me Crazy* Gavin* Nicholas* Elise* my family* my in-laws (especially Dena)* my job* balancing the family budget* children with the flu* puppies* melted ice cream* melted chocolate* lifeWhat I Am Thankful For* Gavin* Nicholas* Elise* my family* my in-laws (even Dena)* my job* financial stability* children without chronic or life-threatening illness* puppies* ice cream* chocolate* lifeHappy Thanksgiving, everyone!
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Eye Opening Moment
2007-11-16 22:00:00
Nicholas has been driving me crazy lately. I know I've been short with him.But it dawned on me - how unfair I've been to him - when I heard myself say, "Nico, thanks for a good day. When you behave, Mommy is happy."Because how unfair is it that I make him responsible for my happiness?Obviously, the current stress in my life (that's for another post) has got to be dealt with in a healthier manner.
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God Help My Niece And Nephew
2007-11-05 19:49:00
Matt and Dena (Gavin's brother and his wife) had their baby! It's a girl! They named her Jolie. (In my opinion, better than Regan (REE-gan), but not much)Dena was overdue, so she was induced on Friday. Dena's doctor wanted to wait until Monday (today) to induce her (probably because he didn't want to possibly deliver this baby late on a Friday night or sometime on a Sataurday), but she insisted on being induced on Friday so Matt wouldn't have to take as much vacation to be with her.But no thought was given to where Luke (their 3 year old) would be as she labored. In fact, when Gavin called on Thursday night to wish them well, we found out Matt was planning on picking up Luke from preschool on Friday. (Yeah, like selfish Dena will really let Matt leave her while she's in labor, even if it is to pick up their flesh and blood. And then what would Luke do? Would Matt take him to the hospital while Dena was in labor? Would Matt not be there at the birth of the baby?) Obviously, the...

Hell-o-ween
2007-11-01 19:40:00
Yesterday morning, I woke up looking forward to the day ahead of me: the kids being able to dress up at school/daycare and a fun evening trick-or-treating and passing out candy at my in-laws' house.But, it was not to be. Elise woke up tired and cranky and didn't want to wear her costume. I packed her costume in her bag, hoping she would feel more like wearing her kitty outfit when she got to daycare. Not only did she not want to wear her costume, but the children and teachers wearing costumes freaked her out and she had a meltdown when I left.Because Elise didn't wear her costume to daycare, Nicholas decided he didn't want to wear his costume to school. So I packed his costume in his bag, hoping he would change his mind when he got to school. He didn't, but he was fine being the only one not in costume. (There are up-sides and down-sides to having an independent-minded child.)The work party - that I was conned in to planning - was a small bust because a lot of people show...
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The Early Toddler
2007-10-26 22:40:00
Elise is at one of my favorite stages: the early toddler. Walking, but not running. Steady on her feet so she can navigate the playroom on her own. Careful enough to lie down and back down the stairs. Talking, but not talking back. Not yet saying "no" to everything. Her extreme curiosity about her newfound freedom and the things she can now reach by standing and walking entices her to play independently. But she still wants to cuddle with mommy and daddy. Her delight in the simplest items - items I don't even notice lying around my house - is refreshing. Yesterday, she found an old cassette case and walked around with it - proudly holding it out to each of us (including the cat). She showed each of us how to open it and delighted in the squeak it made as she did so.As she flashes me a proud smile and shows me that she discovered a 'new' item (like a plastic Easter egg) or mastered a skill I take for granted (like standing on her tippy toes to get something just out o...
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Bad Baby Names
2007-10-25 00:26:00
Matt and Dena (Gavin's brother and his wife) are expecting their second child soon and they revealed the name of the baby: Regan (pronounced REE-gun).Blech.Before you tell me that it's not my child and I should shut up, let me tell you why I don't like this name.1. I don't like the pronunciation. Or rather, the pronunciation with that spelling. I'm betting $1,000 that the child will be called "Ray-gen" constantly.2. They don't know if it's a boy or a girl so the name will be used regardless of the baby's gender. This isn't a reason to not like the name, but it's more the 'oh, we won't bother looking for another name' attitude that bugs me.3. But the main reason why it annoys me is they don't have a girl's name because it was stolen. By Dena's best friend. See, ever since she was a little girl, Dena wanted to name her daughter Megan. But when Dena's 'best friend,' Jan, was expecting before Dena was married, Jan asked Dena if she could use the name Megan because Jan...
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The PTA Saga Continues
2007-10-19 20:36:00
The PTA at Nicholas' school had a meeting was on Wednesday night, but I couldn't make it for reasons I've already mentioned.On Thursday, as I walked Nicholas to his classroom, we passed the-most-outspoken-GapMom-who-is-NOT-the- PTA-President and she said snottily, "We missed you last night."What is with this woman?I ignored her.When I got back to my car, the PTA President and the-most-outspoken-GapMom-who-is-NOT-the- PTA-President were standing nearby chatting.The PTA President smiled and waved so I smiled and waved back. The-most-outspoken-GapMom leaned in to the PTA President and said something snotty (I didn't hear the words, but heard the tone). PTA President said something to the-most-outspoken-GapMom and the-most-outspoken-GapMom had a look of surprise on her face.By this time, I was in my car and driving away. I waved a goodbye as I tried not to hit them drove past them.This morning, as I was loading Elise into my car after dropping Nicholas off at his classroom, I heard so...
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Sick Baby
2007-10-16 00:45:00
Elise gets sick more often than I wish. I don't know if it's because she brings home germs from her daycare, if it's because Nicholas brings home germs from preschool and 'shares' them with her, or if it just a part of being Elise.Last week was more than a little trying. Elise had a high fever for days. We couldn’t bring the fever down with Tylenol and Motrin, so her doctor ordered blood work to rule out a serious infection.Have you ever had to take an infant in for blood work? I’m not talking about a finger sticks. I’m talking about holding your baby while they draw blood from a tiny vein in her tiny arm.The woman who drew Elise’s blood couldn’t find the vein. Elise screamed. The woman was relentless. She kept digging at the tiny arm, looking for the tiny vein. The screams turned blood-curdling and I told the woman to stop. Stop. Stop. STOP! NOW. You obviously cannot find the vein. Goodbye. Send someone else in. But not now. Give me time to hold her. To comfort h...
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Memo To My Husband
2007-10-04 20:13:00
I would have expected you to figure certain things out by now. (I mean, we've been married for eight years and together for 18.) But, alas, you haven't. So I'll just spell it out for you.* I hate morning sex. (And you know what? I'm not the only one.)* If you're going to try to entice me with morning sex, turn off the damn sports radio show you have on your clock radio alarm. Listening to those guys whine (yes, whine!) is not exactly alluring.* You fall asleep on the couch at 9:00. I surf the 'net or watch tv and get in bed at 10:30. You wake up at 11, crawl into bed, wake me up, and expect me to be horny? Ain't happening, buddy boy.* Saying "sex is exercise and exercise gives you endorphins which will make you less tired" isn't a good argument when you fall asleep on the couch, wake at 11 and then stay up until 2 in the morning.*"What happened to your boobs? They used to be sooo hot," is not a way to get me 'going.' Sorry, but I breastfed your two kids each for a year. Th...
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AWOL
2007-10-03 21:26:00
I know I've been AWOL lately. Life has been kah-ray-zee lately. But, I have to admit, part of it is my own doing. I joined a health club and have been exercising at least twice a week after the kids go to bed. Works out nicely because I get my alone time, I get some exercise and I don't have to feel guilty about doing something for myself (mother guilt - that's for another post). But, it means waaaaay less computer time and has resulted in 562 items in my google reader. Yes. 562. Five hundred sixty-two. Damn. Needless to say, I'm still reading, just commenting waaaay less so that I can keep up. And after I tell you how much I haven't been reading your blogs, I'm asking you to tell me if you're reading my blog (This is part of my feeble attempt to put me before others...) because today is The Great Mofo Delurk Day 2007.So, please, drop me a line and let me know if you're out there. If you have a blog, link to it (hopefully you'll get new readers out of it!). And...

"I Don't Have A Good Title For This Bullet-y Post" or "Random Thoughts"
2007-09-29 00:51:00
* We're all recovered from the stomach flu.* My hormones are starting to mellow out.* Gavin is in full swing at school so he's been working late and having a lot of meetings which leaves me with the kids many nights a week.* Nicholas is giving up his nap. (Lordy lordy, please help me on weekends when Gavin is teaching piano lessons all day!)* I broke out in hives earlier this week and I can't figure out why because I didn't eat anything I'm allergic to... But it could be...* We're switching Elise to a new sitter and that's causing me stress.* I deleted my Facebook and MySpace accounts because of the whole "they don't allow pictures of breastfeeding women but will allow provacative pictures of teenagers" controversy.
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Blogga Blogga Bling Bling
2007-09-21 15:11:00
Please don't mistaken me for an ingrate. I really do appreciate the awards from my friends. I don't know how I managed to neglect these for so long. I blame it on reverse menopause which can make a girl go crazy.But really, that's just no excuse, is it?Jennifer and Nicole said I'm a nice blogger, and I hope they haven't changed their minds about that or I'll have to turn in my awards - and that's not going to happen. :)It also looks like I need plant a big wet on Jessica for the Big Fat Kiss Award. And one on Jenny for the "This Blog Kicks Donkey Butt" Award, which is really much better than the "this blog is written by a donkey butt" award which I think I totally deserve by being late in thanking everyone... You girls sure know how to make a girl proud. Because every girl loves her some blogga blogga bling bling.Mmmm-wah!
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I'm Not A GapMom, But I Play One On TV
2007-09-13 22:05:00
Last night was the first PTA meeting for Nicholas' school. And make no mistake: it's run by GapMoms.GapMoms without the sense to banish the catalog fundraiser.GapMoms who say they want people's opinions and when people give their opinions, don't listen.GapMoms who asked if anyone had suggestions on how to get more families involved. So I mentioned that it would be good to alternate the day of the meeting so that parents who are unable to attend on Wednesdays might be able to attend on another day. Of course, there would be no day where all families are able to attend, but by alternating the day, potentially more parents can participate some of the time rather than leaving some parents unable to participate at all - and thus leaving the GapMoms do it all (one of their complaints).They liked this idea.But when it came time to schedule the next meeting, the GapMoms decided that since everyone there (except me) said Wednesdays are a good day to meet, they would have the next meeting...
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No More Kids For Me
2007-09-12 20:55:00
I'm in the process of weaning Elise. It is no fun. While she doesn't miss it too much (which is sad in and of itself), I have the physical aspect to deal with. Mostly the usual stuff like engorged boobs, leaking, etc.But I have the wonderful pleasure of also going through "reverse menopause" when I wean my children. "Reverse menopause? What the...," you ask. It's just like going through menopause. But instead of leaving your fertile state, I'm re-entering my fertile state. And it comes with all the wonderful symptoms of real menopause.That's right. I have mood swings, irritability, forgetfulness, bloating and oh so much more.... But by far the worse symptoms are the hot flashes and night sweats.Yes. Hot flashes and night sweats.Fun, huh?Not so much.And my OB/GYN says that while she has never seen another woman go through this before, it makes biologic sense. And since it's happening again (it happened when I weaned Nicholas), I guess this is just the way my body re...
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Busted!
2007-09-04 21:24:00
When I started blogging, I gave Gavin the URL and told him he could give it out to friends and family.After awhile, he came to me and said he didn't give out the URL to anyone. He said I should use the blog as 'girl time' because it would be good for me to have a private place since I don't go out with my girlfriends much... After all, he said, when I go out with my girlfriends, we piss and moan about our husbands and he's not there to hear it or defend himself and I always come back a happier person.So he said he wouldn't check the blog and I could write about anything as long as I didn't post pictures of us or the kids.Sounds like a good deal, right? I think so too.Out came the Dena stories. And the outlaw in-law stories. And this one about Gavin's inability to dress Elise in something non-hideous. (He didn't know I took a picture of her in that outfit.)And life moved on.As I was doing laundry this weekend, Gavin said, "Can you do me a favor? Can you put all of Elise's m...
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Dear Neighbor
2007-08-21 04:30:00
I've got a proposition for you... You can sit in your garage, drink beer and sing karaoke to all hours of the night. I'll even stop complaining about you peeing in your yard. If you never ever say this to your kids ever again: Why is your hand dirty? What the fuck? Fuckin' shit. Fuckin' asshole. Get into the fuckin' house and wash your fuckin' hands. Shit. Deal?

The Day In Which I Wondered If My Husband Was Gay
2007-08-16 21:59:00
Gavin and I have been together for 18 years. So you’d think I know him pretty well by now and wouldn’t be surprised by much. After all, you get into a rut after awhile. (Right, Heather?) But when I got home today, I had an entirely new experience.When I walked into the house, I noticed Gavin had vacuumed. The house looked great!I walked past the laundry room and the washer was going. And there was a bottle of Tide Simple Pleasures "Rose and Violet" on the floor.Shauna: Hey, Gav. Who gave us the laundry detergent?Gavin: No one. I bought it.S: You bought it? That one?G: Yeah.S: Why?G: I thought it would be nice to use on our sheets. Help us sleep better.S: Oh. (pause) You went to the store?G: Yeah. I needed a couple of things.S: And you saw the detergent when you were there.G: Yeah.S: And you bought it?G: Yeah. Your shampoo was on sale so I got you some.S: My shampoo?G: Yeah.S: You know what shampoo I use? Really?G: Yeah.S: And you bought some? Since when do you buy stuff for me w...
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In How Many Languages Can You Say "Holy Shit"?
2007-08-15 21:30:00
Remember the pre-owned used car I bought despite the crappy service? Well, the hits just keep on coming...Yesterday was the birthday for one of my staff, so we went to lunch. While at lunch, my car was hit while in the parking lot. This wasn't a fender bender. This was a "you must have been going too fucking fast in a parking lot" bender. And one wheel was hit hard, bending the axle and rendering the car undrivable. Thank goodness no one was hurt (as far as I know since the person who wrecked the car didn't leave a note).My insurance company towed the car and I just found out the car is considered "totalled." Which means they are paying me off for the car.Obviously, this was not meant to be the car for me. So, I'm back in the market for a car. At least the car insurance company is paying for a rental.I think I need to crawl into a cave for a couple of weeks.
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If My Husband Had A Blog...
2007-08-15 00:49:00
If Gavin had a blog, surely this would be one of his posts:I have the best wife. I don't know where I'd be without her.If it weren't for her, I would have had food poisoning multiple times. She throws everything out of the fridge before it goes bad. And even though I think she's overreacting (you can eat around the fuzz, right?), she means well and I love her. If it weren't for her, I would get the shits and cry like a baby not feel well and I wouldn't want her to have to take care of me.My beloved Shauna, she's so organized. If I can’t find something, all I have to do is ask here where anything is. It's a good thing I don't bother to put anything away because I'd just put it away in the wrong place. This way, she puts it away for me and I don't even need to think.My beloved Shauna, she wakes my lazy ass when I fall asleep on the couch. She says it's because I'm snoring too loud but I know it's really because she wants me to sleep in a comfortable bed and get a good ...
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Another F*cking Recall!
2007-08-14 08:31:00
They sure make it hard for us to keep our kids from ingesting lead paint, don't they? I can't believe another recall will be announced... tomorrow. I think I'm going to lock my kids in a bubble now.
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Chinese Executive Kills Self Amid Recall
2007-08-13 21:36:00
BEIJING (AP) - The head of a Chinese manufacturer whose lead-tainted Sesame Street toys were the center of a massive U.S. recall has killed himself, a state-run newspaper said Monday.Cheung Shu-hung, who co-owned Lee Der Industrial Co., committed suicide at a warehouse over the weekend, apparently by hanging himself, the Southern Metropolis Daily reported."When I rushed there around 5 p.m., police had already sealed off the area," the newspaper quoted a manager surnamed Liu as saying. "I saw that our boss had two deep marks in his neck."Though the report did not give a reason for Cheung's apparent suicide _ and the company declined to discuss the matter _ Lee Der was under pressure in a global controversy over the safety of Chinese made products.This month, Mattel Inc., one of the largest U.S. toy companies, was forced to recall 967,000 plastic preschool toys made by Lee Der because they were decorated with paint found to have excessive amounts of lead. The toys, sold in the U.S. u...
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My Little Shitling
2007-08-13 21:00:00
This weekend, Nicholas was a little shit. I don't know what his deal was, but he didn't listen, he acted out, he threw tantrums. He disobeyed me and broke a glass jewelry box I had on my dresser while climbing on my dresser to get a toy I had confiscated from him. All around, he was just a little shit. All weekend long.Today, I'm happy to be at work.
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The Deleted Post
2007-08-12 02:21:00
Some of you might be looking for a post I deleted.It actually wasn't supposed to be published.... At least not yet.I was working on a bunch of posts/ideas. Brainstorming, polishing some of them up/uploading pictures and then the cat (the damn cat!) jumped on my laptop and the computer fell on the floor and dammit the thing got published. (It also looks like the door to my CD drive is now broken.)Looks like I need to come up with some new ideas for blog posts. :( Argh!
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The Beautiful People
2007-08-12 01:57:00
Last night, Gavin and I went on a date – a real date! We left the kids with a sitter and went out for dinner. It made our day when we were carded after ordering a bottle of wine. We proudly showed our IDs. Yes, we’re over 21, but not much (snort!). And then the waiter stopped. He examined the IDs. He took them to the bar. Then he came back. “I’m so sorry, I had to take these to my manager because I didn’t think you were in your 30s.” Gavin and I beamed with pride. Gavin told him, “Would you believe we’ve got 2 kids?” The waiter said he didn’t. To which Gavin said, “Yes, and we feel much younger when we’re not with them!” Later, the manager stopped by our table to check on our meals and commented on our IDs. “This is the table of the beautiful people!” he said. Shauna likey that restaurant. Waiter likey the big fat tip.
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Garage Doors, Car Doors. Oh My!
2007-08-06 20:37:00
I haven't been having a lot of luck around doors lately. It started last week when our garage door went kaput. As I was leaving in the morning (with the kids - Gavin was gone already), the garage door wouldn't open. After some investigation, I figured out I couldn't fix the problem myself.But, since I needed to get my car out of the garage, I needed to manually open the garage door. Yes, I needed to lift the fucker sucker by myself. Now I'm not a tall woman; I'm shorter than your grandmother with osteoporosis petite. I got the damn thing open. I thought I was going to bust an atery or give myself a hernia, but I got it open.I left the garage door open and drove away. (You've got to be kidding if you think I was going to close the damn thing after that. After all, I wanted to be able to put my car back in the garage when I came home.) And I called the garage door company and asked when they could send someone out to take a look at it.We've had a lot of problems with our garage...
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I’m Not Sure If I Should Be Proud Or Insulted
2007-08-01 23:47:00
Gavin - It’s so cute how you snore. Shauna - What? Gavin - Yeah. When either of the kids stirs at night, you stop snoring. And when the kid goes back to sleep, you start snoring away again.
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Because You Need Another Car Story From Me
2007-07-30 22:46:00
As you know, I bought a pre-owned used car last month.(If you remember the story, you can skip this paragraph.) Since the car was still under warranty, I had them look at it. It had some minor work to be done and so they worked on it before I brought it home. And because they would never give me a straight answer about the status of my car, I got frustrated and went to the dealership owner and complained. He upgraded my loaner and gave me a gift certificate for a nice restaurant.Very soon after that, my car was ready (no, we didn't take the loaner to the beach and get sand in it). When I picked it up, I asked to see the dealership owner, Allen. I explained I didn't want anything from them. I just wanted the level of service to change - and it did - so I returned the gift certificate. Because I cannot be bought. They were dumbfounded. So I left it on Allen's desk and drove away in my car. (Yay!)The next day, I received flowers at my office from the dealership. A really gorgeous a...
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