The Mom BombThe Mom BombThe Mom Bomb features humor, commentary, cartoons and artwork on modern parenting issues. Articles
Don't Blame Me
2008-02-08 16:08:00 My husband and I have worked hard at maintaining an honest and trusting relationship. And we have one, pretty much. Except in this respect: we routinely use each other to weasel out of unwanted social obligations. To illustrate: Dave, on the phone with friend: Oh yeah, I'd love to come over, buddy. But let me check with Paula. You know how it is -- the wife sets the agenda around here. I More About: Blame
Cherry Trees vs. Wolves: The Smackdown
2008-02-07 16:48:00 Quick! Which is more effective in teaching kids the value of honesty: the tale of George Washington and the Cherry Tree? . Or the tale of the Boy Who Cried Wolf? . . Got a few minutes? Then take this parenting assumptions quiz for the answer -- and as an added benefit, you'll help Po Bronson compile data for his book. A lot of the results were predictable, but there were a few surprises: More About: Wolves , Trees , Smackdown
I Bug
2008-02-07 16:31:00 The school guidance counselor stopped by the daughter's class to talk about "feelings" for the upteenth time (as Zach puts it: "Will they ever stop talking about feelings?"). Each child was instructed to write down a behavior that "bugged" them. So you'd think Sarah would pick "teasing" or "hitting" or "bossing around". But no. Of course not! Of course it's my behavior that's the "buggiest":
I'll Take a Double Mocha Skim Latte, But Without The Stripsearch, Please
2008-02-07 01:21:00 You probably already knew this, but when in Saudi Arabia, it's best not to sit by a member of the opposite gender at your local Starbucks. Especially if the opposite gender is male. Totally mind-boggling. Also totally mind-boggling? Last year Starbucks opened a new store almost every three hours. Soon, the Amish will have a Starbucks. The Tibetans will get one, too -- and then let's see how More About: Double , Mocha , Latte
Keeping Up With The Joneses . . . The Poop Version
2008-02-06 16:13:00 In our neck of New Jersey, you can pay anyone to do just about any menial job that detracts from your stone massage therapy/private tennis lesson/bitch session with the shrink. You can pay someone to clean your house. You can pay someone to mow your lawn and blow your leaves into nice big piles. You can pay someone to cook your meals, look after your kids and organize your clutter. You can pay More About: Poop , Version
Look! I Started My New Low-Carb Diet!
2008-02-05 19:03:00 .What better way to kick it off than with a chocolate-covered Belgian waffle? But it's from Whole Foods, so you know it's got healthy stuff in it that will in no way add to the cottage cheese on my thighs. More About: Diet , Low carb , Low-carb , Carb
In Mottos We Trust
2008-02-05 14:31:00 Just read that fun piece in the NY Times about the Times of London running a British motto contest for its readers (the winner: "No motto, please. We're British."). It got me thinking about about the French motto: "Liberty! Equality! Fraternity!" Beautiful, although in light of recent events, it should perhaps read: "Liberty! Infidelity! Paternity!". . Then there's the Scottish motto: "No one More About: Trust
The Mom Bomb's Guide to Existentialism: The Domestic Version
2008-02-04 16:01:00 Allo, mes amies. Ze Mom Bomb, she refuses to blog ziss morning, because she is in a state of existentialist despair. What? You do not know what existentialism is? Sacre Bleu! Zen allow me to be of assistance. My name is Jean-Paul Croissant, existentialism expert extraordinaire! .. Oui, oui. I know. I look remarkably like ze Mom Bomb in drag. And oui, I am aware that my surname is ze same as ze More About: Domestic , Guide , Version
What We Don't Know: Is It Hurting Us?
2008-02-03 21:49:00 Just caught the Frontline special on medicating kids diagnosed with bi-polar disorder. You can catch the entire special online, right here. And then you can be as frightened as I am. Here's what I gleaned: In 1996, a Dr. Biederman at Massachusetts General Hospital published a report arguing that a sizable percentage of children diagnosed as ADHD are actually bi-polar. And since then, the
Fuzzy Wuzzy Was A Math Book
2008-02-01 15:51:00 My kids's public school uses the Everyday Math curriculum. "Everyday Math" is sometimes known as "Fuzzy Math", in a shameless bid to make numbers seem cute and cuddly to the kiddies. "Everyday Math" is also sometimes known as "Chicago Math" -- apparently because it was developed by experts at the University of Chicago. Which is good to know, as I was under the impression that "Chicago Math" went More About: Book
Eye-Opener
2008-01-31 15:16:00 I just finished reading this memoir, by John Elder Robison. You probably know that Robison has Asperger's; you might not know, however, that he's the brother of Augusten Burroughs, of Running With Scissors fame. The combination of Asperger's and his twisted family history made for fascinating -- and often funny -- reading. I found the book to be an affirmation of humanity and our ability (
Sign-Reading By The Mom Bomb
2008-01-30 16:37:00 It's a sign that you're getting older when . . . . . This chick keeps showing up in every mail order catalog you receive. Not that she doesn't look amazing, or that models shouldn't include older women. But still. It's a sign that you're sleep deprived . . . When you fall asleep during someone's speech. And the speech is very rousing and loud. And you're sitting only three feet away from More About: Reading , Sign , Bomb
Rhymes With Dream. Also With Scream.
2008-01-29 18:45:00 . . . Why yes! It's a meme! Courtesy Motherwise, here are six inconsequential things about me. I had to soul-search to come up with these, as everything about me is serious and substantial and absolutely brimming with consequence. Ahem. 1. My first pet was a cat given to me when I was four years old. I wanted to name it "Here Kitty-Kitty-Come-Here-Kitty-Kitty-Come-Ho me-To-Paula." My parents More About: Scream , Dream , Rhymes
The Ol' Snip-Snip
2008-01-29 18:13:00 One of our finest journalists, Michael Lewis, gives us an intimate and laugh-out-loud funny look at what it's like to undergo a vasectomy: What the hell am I doing here? In theory, the answer was at hand. My wife wanted me to be here, and it seemed too transparently selfish to refuse. She'd endured three pregnancies, suffered the pain and indignity of three childbirths, changed most of the
The Mom Bomb's Guide to Miami Beach
2008-01-28 15:16:00 . Yes, we were indeed in Miami Beach . And yes, now that I'm home and staring at a suitcase full of dirty laundry, reality does indeed bite. . Oh, just smack me, ungrateful wench that I am. We got some much needed sunshine, warmth, and R&R. And the best part? Our lodgings were paid for. The in-laws are impossibly hip and bought in Miami Beach years ago, saving us the inconvenience of selling our More About: Guide
Hubs and I Ran Away . . .
2008-01-25 18:51:00 . . . we ditched, we fled, we absconded. We left the spawn with the grandparents in overcast, cold New Jersey and headed someplace where it's also overcast -- but warm. And hopefully, after enough pina coladas, snoozing, general do-nothingness, and perhaps a mojito or two, hubs and I will get some much-needed perspective and get our heads screwed back on straight. Here was the view out our
The Day My Brain Vaporized
2008-01-23 15:51:00 Yesterday my brain vaporized. Luckily, I still managed to slog through an entire 13 waking hours without it. You can too! Here's how: 7:15 AM: Wake up to alarm. 8:30 AM: Wake up to theme song of Sponge Bob Squarepants, which children are watching downstairs. Curse self for falling asleep and missing schoolbus. 8:35 AM: Fill dog's water bowl. Then promptly dump packet of dog food -- into water More About: Brain
Those Magic Moments
2008-01-22 17:25:00 A pregnant friend recently asked me: "When you first held your child, did you feel that instant bond? You know -- that flood of love and attachment?" I smiled and sighed and relived the first moment I held my darling children in my arms. "No," I said. "I didn't get that. That came later. The first time, it was mostly surreal." In fact, all of the moments that were supposed to be "life-altering" More About: Magic , Moments
Hair Loss: A Dialogue
2008-01-21 15:58:00 The Mom Bomb (mumbling to herself): Maybe it's stress, maybe it's an auto-immune disorder, maybe it's just living in New Jersey, next to all those landfills. Whatever the reason, I seem to be shedding hair at an alarming rate these days. The shower floor and the bathroom sink are littered with my over-processed, highlighted strands. My God, what's happening to me? My hair's thin to begin with -- More About: Hair , Loss , Dialogue , Dial
Bubble, Bubble, Toil and Trouble
2008-01-18 15:24:00 I suspect most readers of The Mom Bomb have, like myself, lived through three major financial downturns -- also known by the cute, benign-sounding euphemism, "bubbles". Let's re-live the magic, shall we? First, there was the S&L Bubble of the 1980's, which involved fat cats like this guy:. . It also had something to do with junk bonds and . . . um . . . arbitrage? . . . Okay: I have no idea what
Retainers I Have Known
2008-01-16 15:13:00 Warning: This post is not for the faint at heart. Last summer, when we visited my folks in California, I was appalled to find that my mother still had my Frankel appliance. I reached into a cabinet for some sugar, and there it was, tucked away beside some Pepto-Bismol. ."Well, I can't just throw it away!" said Mom. You can, Mom. Custom-made orthodontic appliances designed for buck-toothed
Not to Make You DEPRESSED or ANXIOUS or Anything . . .
2008-01-15 15:32:00 I usually like to keep it light and breezy around here, but I'm fascinated by some info I've just digested and would love to get your feedback. I'm currently reading Generation Me by Jean Twenge: an examination of the narcissistic tendencies of those born between 1970 and 2000. And here's what really alarmed me. Studies confirm an astronomical rise in the depression rate for those born in the More About: Make , Depressed
The Mom Bomb's Guide to Seasonal Affective Disorder
2008-01-14 15:36:00 This time of year really sticks it to me where it hurts. The lack of sunlight and post-holiday exhaustion make for sluggish energy and emotional malaise. But I will not succumb to the Blahs! No, I will plough through the next months, using nothing but my own special brand of positive self-talk! (And a daily dose of Paxil. Shh. Don't tell anyone.).. What is this "positive self-talk", you ask? More About: Seasonal , Guide , Seasonal Affective Disorder
Just a Quick Plug . . .
2008-01-11 18:02:00 . . . for a fellow blogger and Etsy seller. Visit The Rocking Pony for some really fun, cute kids wear that you just can't find off the rack at the big box stores. My favorite is the alien shirt: . Rocking Pony, we're already fully stocked on winterwear, but I'm going to pay you a visit this Spring for some short-sleeved shirts! More About: Quick , Plug
Spankings, Drugs, Guns
2008-01-11 17:18:00 Another bright spot on the World Wide Waste of Time: The Vintage Ads Blog. There, you can find all sorts of gems, such as: I'd hate to see what he does to her when she burns the pot-roast. Not all fifties housewives were so inept, however. The following gal absolutely gets off on slave labor: . "Vitamins", huh? My guess, she's popping uppers. And here's my all-time fave: . . And why aren't More About: Guns , Drugs
That's All I Can Stands! And I Can't Stands No More!
2008-01-11 01:05:00 What the Daughter's Shrink Said: I see a potential for auditory processing disorder. When she asked to play with the toy barn, I said, "Yes, you can play with it in the corner." But she rushed in and started playing with it as if she didn't get that last part of my instruction. Some impulsivity. What I Said: (nodding earnestly) Uh-huh. What I Should Have Said: So you've picked up that six year
The Mom Bomb's Guide to Sexy Lingerie
2008-01-08 16:36:00 I was watching a repeat of Tim Gunn's Guide to Style the other night, and was appalled to hear Tim and Veronica chastise a woman for wearing bras "as old and tired" as she was. Obviously, Tim didn't get the memo on Middle-Aged Mom Chic. Tim, allow me to educate you: When you spend your days hauling around barely-civilized hell-piglets from activity to activity in a giant tank, pretty underthings More About: Lingerie , Sexy
How To Stuff Culture Down Your Child's Throat, or, An Exercise in Futility
2008-01-07 03:40:00 Sunday, I felt my mucous-clogged lungs beginning to clear. What better way to celebrate than to drag husband and kiddies to the Princeton University Art Museum for some much-needed exposure to highbrow culture? It's truly a wonderful museum. And the best part is? It's free, free, free! Which is a fabulous stroke of luck, because my two uncultured hell-piglets didn't last long there. The More About: Culture , Exercise , Stuff
The Xmas Grandpa Was Messed Up
2008-01-04 16:17:00 This is how my Dad looked when he arrived from California for the holidays: Actually, that's not quite right. When he arrived, those bruises were much larger and coal-black. Here, they've faded to the color of eggplant. Combined with the Burgess Meredith a la Rocky cap, one might think my Dad is a retired boxer who survived a recent drunken, barroom brawl. Nope. Dad is merely old and More About: Xmas , Mess
Why Couldn't He Just Pay My Heating Bill For Me? I'd Put It In My Blog.
More articles from this author:2008-01-03 19:37:00 Some people are born to greatness. Some people have greatness thrust upon them. And some people take a desperate stab at greatness by trading oil up to 100 a barrel. It amazes me that this guy woke up in the morning thinking: "Yeah, I'm going to blow 600 bucks. But it'll be worth it just to see oil hit 100. And to see that crazy mommy blogger in Jersey run around shrieking and putting More About: Blog , Bill , Heating 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 |
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