The Mom BombThe Mom BombThe Mom Bomb features humor, commentary, cartoons and artwork on modern parenting issues. Articles
Totally Cute or Totally Insufferable? You Be The Judge.
2007-11-12 16:24:00 I was reading yesterday's NY Post and found this bit on calling cards for your children. That's right: Professionally printed cards you hand out to potential playdate contacts, complete with your kid's name and phone number. As well as a snappy little line, like: "Your crib or mine?" And I found myself in a dilemma of opinion: Are the cards yet another depressing sign of the commercializing More About: Cute , Judge
To Do List: The Next Generation
2007-11-09 19:50:00 My OCD compulsion for -- ahem! I mean my organizational talent for making to-do lists has apparently genetically transmitted itself to my son: . Hmm. Gotta talk to him about item 3, there. New Jersey doesn't allow siblings to "mare" each other (or "marry", for that matter). Monday's list is short and sweet: . . . . . not necessarily in that order, I might add. And item 2 is obviously sorely More About: List , Generation , The Next Generation
The Lip: A Case Study
2007-11-08 16:19:00 The Subject presented a significant lip-thrusting reflex since early infancy. The lip-thrusting appeared especially prominent when Subject was frustrated or asked to take a nap: Said lip-thrusting reflex continued into the Subject's toddler years, where it grew more frequent and pronounced. It showed most readily when the TV was turned off or when Subject was asked to smile for a picture: . . More About: Study , Case
The Sensitive Male: 19th Century Edition
2007-11-07 15:59:00 I'm ditching Worst-Ever Wednesdays. Quite frankly, re-living my various and sundry worst-ever moments was causing me psychological distress. I prefer to stuff those moments into the little black box in the back of my brain, where I also store crushed hopes, rejection, and the memory of being jilted by my high school crush when I asked him to the Sadie Hawkins dance. How 'bout somethin' a little More About: Male , Edition , Century , Sensitive
Could Be Why We Don't Get Invited To Playdates
2007-11-06 15:27:00 At 6, Sarah and Zach still have an entourage of imaginary friends. There's Emily and Irvin, the Canadian brother-sister chemist team. There's Jennifer, who lives in Brazil. And there's Mordor, who owns a church in Florida (He could be a cult leader. I don't ask.). Together, the "friends" form the Know-Everything Club, because, well, they apparently know everything there is to know. Of
Sure, Kid. Whatever You Say.
2007-11-06 15:18:00 Sarah wound up in our bed last night. Sometime around 5 am, I woke up to find her elbow wedged against the side of my head. At that point, I thought, "What's two hours more?" When she woke up, she had her alibi locked and loaded. "I had a bad dream and I was scared," she said. "Oh. Okay," I said. "Mom? When you were little, did you ever tell Nana you had a bad dream just so you could sleep
Was It The Post About the Bratwurst?
2007-11-05 15:03:00 During my latest stint on Sitemeter, I noticed a preponderance of my visits coming from Europe. This was when I discovered that Sitemeter allows you to click on a visitor's Google search to learn how he stumbled upon your site. Based on their Google searches, my Polish visitors appear preoccupied with "Anne Hathaway" and "boobs". But then again, who isn't? My Italian visitors seem intent on More About: Post , Bratwurst , Wurst
Pretty Good. But Can They Blog?
2007-11-02 19:54:00 They have the physical stamina of Lance Armstrong and what's more, the little f-ers can chow down without gaining weight. I refer, of course, to the Supermice. Not to snark on our rodent friends, but they don't look all that super to me. In fact, that little guy in the corner looks like a downright wussie. . More About: Blog , Pretty , Good
First Grade: The Ultimate Irony
2007-11-02 15:11:00 I slogged through the pre-school/Kindergarten years with only one ray of hope: First Grade was coming. First Grade, with it's seven-hour school day, would make it all better. Then, I would have my own time. Then, I would become the supremely well-balanced, well-read, fit, and generally with-it mother I aspired to be. In First Grade, I would never snap at my kids or give them that witchy Margaret More About: Irony , Ultimate
Two Parties Down, One Major Sugar High to Go
2007-10-31 21:34:00 . . . and the sugar high I'm referring to is mine. Hubs had to break into the candy last night, and darn it all if those Oh Henry!s aren't addictive as crack. Especially in those cute fun sizes -- although the extra cottage cheese on my thighs will most certainly not be fun. Here's the scarecrow Z made at his school's harvest day. I find it unspeakably disturbing, especially the black-nylon-sock More About: Sugar , Parties , High , Major
The Carnage! Dear God, the Carnage!
2007-10-30 22:23:00 Meet the newest addition to our toy family, Stumpy the Shark. Stumpy is actually not a new toy. He's an old toy whose fins were chewed off by Killer, a/k/a Katy the Bunny. You see, house rabbits need to be let loose during the day for an hour or so for exercise. And while Sarah is great about remembering to let buns out of her cage, she's not so hot about remembering to get her back in. More About: The Car , Carnage
We Were Victims of a Caulk-and-Run
2007-10-30 00:09:00 Or, more precisely, a Mortar-and-Run. I had stuffed the experience into the compartment of my brain where I repress all unpleasant experiences, including a traumatic first-grade pants-wetting episode. But after reading this Sunday's Modern Love column in the Times, the floodgates were loosed, the demons were unleashed, and it all came back to me in hideous detail. A few years back, we lived in More About: Victims , Victim , Were
Stages of Development
2007-10-27 04:40:00 This just about sums it up for me . . . . . . not that I would ever yell at my kids to be quiet. More About: Development , Ages
Worst Ever School Picture
2007-10-24 22:19:00 Sarah and Zach's school portraits came home yesterday, and I was sorely disappointed. Sarah is always awkward before a camera and gave a tight-lipped smile that looks more like a smirk. It's the expression of a jaded 45-year-old attorney (my Hubs) on a sweet, six-year-old face. I was feeling down about it, until I remembered some of my less than photogenic moments from school. Such as this gem More About: Picture , School
Smokin' Steve
2007-10-24 18:46:00 I recently attended a wedding where the bride was a former Blue's Clue's staffer. She informed me that Steve attracted quite the following among oversexed mommies, just dying to explore those baggie khakis of his. Apparently Blue wasn't the only bitch wagging her tail for a treat. Steve, by the way, is launching a music career and now looks like this: Personally, I'm all over this look, but it
#1: Make List; #2: Revise List; #3: Get Prozac
2007-10-23 23:06:00 My name is Paula and I am a Compulsive List er. I'm not talking grocery lists, although I do make those. I'm talking about monthly, weekly and daily to-do lists, which I tend to revise on a daily basis. I'm talking about lists of holiday presents (by family member), yearly goals and books I want to read. I'm talking about lists of Necessary Wardrobe Items and Recipes I Really Should Try (an More About: Make
Physics for Parents
2007-10-22 16:51:00 So I'm slowly making my way through the Einstein biography. Good reading, and confirms my belief that all great geniuses have socio-pathic/narcissistic tendencies. The book also dispels the myth that Einstein was a bad student; at an early age, it was apparent to his teachers that he was a math prodigy. Thus vanishes the last shred of hope for every parent of every middling student (let's not More About: Physics , Parents , Parent , Pare
Subtext Much?
2007-10-22 16:29:00 This ad aired before I caught Steven Colbert's hilarious interview with Tim Russert. Now, I appreciate potty humor. I even appreciate how hard it must be to advertise products like laxatives and tampons in a remotely tasteful way.But a metaphorical steel beam sliding through a hole in the wall? Not with my morning coffee, thanks.
I Wanted To Be This Woman . . .
2007-10-19 15:46:00 . . . when I was five years old. I also wanted to marry Gene Kelly. Lest you scoff, just rent An American In Paris. Admit it, rolled-up shirtsleeves over tanned biceps is a good look. And the man had Buns. Of. Steel. Rest in Peace, Deborah. I'll be doing the polka in a giant hoopskirt today in your honor. At least, in my head I will. More About: Woman , Wanted
Next on the List? David Hasselhoff
2007-10-19 15:23:00 I was reading this delightfully snarky article by Simon Doonan, which led me to this delightfully snarky blog. Overall, I'd say the list is spot-on, with a few exceptions. Such as: Christopher Hitchens. I've seen the man in person and his face utterly lacks any of the requisite warpage of a man-lesbian. His inclusion is a crime. But who's going to argue with Patrick Swayze? Post-surgery, he More About: List , Hasselhoff , David Hasselhoff , David , The List
Pretty Things Make Life Better
2007-10-18 16:28:00 Rex Ray is a collage God. I could look at his stuff all day. Oh, how I covet . . . More About: Life , Make , Things , Pretty
What a Grind
2007-10-18 15:52:00 It seems like every week, I read another article about the angst-ridden, hyper-competitive college admissions process. Like this one from the NY Times. The author presides over admissions at Kenyon College and describes waffling over one applicant: While gulping down coffee and poring over statistics, we heard about a young woman from Kentucky we were not yet ready to admit outright. She was More About: Grind , T A G
Worst Ever Wednesday: the Vacation Edition
2007-10-18 00:07:00 As it happens, our worst ever traveling experience occurred during our honeymoon. It wasn't dire enough to ruin the trip . . . but it was a hellacious six hours nonetheless. After we got hitched by the fake rabbi, hubs and I headed south for Sanibel Island. All in all, we had a lovely week soaking up the sun in the Gulf Coast of Florida. We could have done without, however, the crashed rental More About: Vacation , Wednesday , Edition
How Low Can You Go?
2007-10-17 15:27:00 Ah, Fall. The crisp air, the leaves, those perfect apples. And the shocking realization that oil is now topping 80 a barrel and it's gettin' cold at night, dammit. I can't take it no more, people. It's bad enough that I drop 100 or more at the grocery store to buy . . . well . . . not a whole hell of a lot. But now we have to start paying exorbitant prices for a warm shower. Not this year. Not
Creative Types
2007-10-16 15:39:00 Another article examining the link between creativity and depression. I can easily see the bleakness in the Peanuts cartoons. But I still don't consider suffering essential to artistic success. Seems to me, Ms. Hampl has it right: Patricia Hampl, a memoirist and poet who grew up in St. Paul and teaches at the University of Minnesota, suggested that our desire to think of good artists as More About: Creative , Types
Tuesday Is Love Day
2007-10-16 15:31:00 My son was scribbling in the notebook I keep for my lists. "Whatcha doin', Zach?" "I'm writing the list of movies I'm going to make." "Really? Can I see?" Here they are, folks. Future blockbusters: (1) The Moo Parade (2) The Chicken Is It (3) Tuesday Is Love Day As for Tuesday, who knew? When I was growing up, it was "Special Guest Star" day on those Mickey Mouse Club reruns. But I
I Make My Children Cry
2007-10-15 20:36:00 Last Friday I tried to pack too much in before picking the spawn up at the afternoon bus stop. My fatal error: squeezing in a quick stop at the grocery store and then choosing the line with the cashier in training. The same line with the elderly woman with a bazillion coupons and an issue with how much she was charged for her toilet paper. I started to do the line-hopping dance: do I switch, do More About: Children , Make
Let Them Perish
2007-10-15 15:32:00 . . . not the kids, of course. The Webkinz. I'm fully aware that I sound like a judgmental and sanctimonious harpy. But these chicks are one can short of a six-pac. Let's examine what's so obviously wrong with this scenario: a grown woman has better things to do than tend to their children's online pets. These pets belong to the kiddies. Let the little cretins take care of their own Webkinz.
Martha Loves Etsy!!!!
2007-10-12 23:51:00 . . . and you KNOW what Martha I'm talkin' about. Love her or hate her, the woman has taste. So get online and shop handmade! More About: Etsy
Give Mrs. Seinfeld A Break
More articles from this author:2007-10-12 16:56:00 Kudos to Jessica Seinfeld for capitalizing on that time-honored strategy that moms the world over have used to get the kids to eat their veggies: camouflage. And a big hiss,boo to the Doctor who naysayed her strategy: "If squash is perfectly disguised, children are not learning anything. Well, they are learning something, but it’s not to like squash."Maybe. But the only way my kids are ingesting More About: Break , Give , Brea 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 |
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