The Mom BombThe Mom BombThe Mom Bomb features humor, commentary, cartoons and artwork on modern parenting issues. Articles
Just Put Me In the Freak Show
2007-10-12 16:38:00 Being a dark-haired she-wolf, I've always had a problem with facial hair. Not so much the upper lip as the chin. Those nasty thick guys that you have to dig out with tweezers are the bane of my existence. But nothing compares with the crop of whiskers I've sprouted in the last three weeks. Sweet Jesus! Have I been exposed to some mysterious form of space radiation? Am I periomenopausal? More About: Show , Freak , Freak Show
My Budding (or is that "Butting") Photojournalist
2007-10-11 20:28:00 So I finally decided to transfer the photos from my digital camera, and discovered that Sarah has been playing Diane Arbus. I found this: And this: And finally, this (please don't look if you have a heart condition): I have no recollection of her snapping my backsides, but oh, how I wish she hadn't. Although I admire her nimble camera work in making my buttcheeks look as GINORMOUS
An Informal Poll
2007-10-11 15:35:00 My parents both worked in the public school system, my Dad as a teacher and administrator. So Lord knows, I'm all for supporting our schools. But lately I've been feeling a mite, shall we say, fatigued by all the requests from our school/PTO for dough. I'm trying to get a handle on whether my fatigue is justified, so I want to do a little comparison with you, my reader(s). Our PTO asks for an More About: Poll , Formal
Worst Ever "To Hell With It" Moment
2007-10-10 16:42:00 You know you've been there. The kids haven't bathed for two days, but it's late and you're tired and seriously, having to haul them in and out of that tub would qualify as a human rights abuse. So you skip baths and let them go to school greasy and stinky the next day. Or . . . your kid brings home another inane assignment, requiring him to cut out little pre-drawn shapes and then glue the More About: Moment , Hell
Warning: Downer Post. Please Bypass To Keep Your Cheery Mood Intact
2007-10-09 15:23:00 So here's the interview that made me swear off Diet Coke and all aspartame sweetened products for eternity. I'm also freaked out about my husband's incessant cell phone use. Take a good listen and you, too, can chew your fingernails to shreds. I'm usually skeptical about health warnings, since the same experts tend to reverse themselves every five years or so (coffee, bad! . . . no, wait: good More About: Post , Warning , Intact , Mood
Put A Little "Hate" In Your Heart . . . Or At Least Your Vocabulary
2007-10-08 16:10:00 Last summer I escorted the spawn to a children's birthday party, wherein a four-year-old boy was heard to remark: "I hate broccoli." Me too, kid. Just don't let your mother hear it. As soon as the dreaded word "hate" left his mouth, his mom was on him like he had just dropped the F-bomb. "Hate is a very strong emotion, don't you think? Maybe you don't care for broccoli. But you can't hate it. More About: Vocabulary , Heart , Litt , Bula
Can I Get a Collective "Eeewwwwww!"? . . .
2007-10-08 02:56:00 I'm not one for getting all riled up over various agendas, but even I was a little appalled by what I learned at Sarah's last riding lesson. There was a new horse at the stable, a beautiful saddlebred that the owner bought from a rescue association affiliated with the Lancaster Amish. The association places horses that are scheduled to be auctioned off to slaughterhouses. "And the More About: Collective , Coll
Tag Virgin
2007-10-07 21:10:00 This is the first time I've ever been "tagged" by another blogger. Thanks, 24crayons. You'll always be my first. My 7 random facts are: (1) I have an irrational fear of being struck by lightning. Also of centipedes. (2) I am a serious hoarder. I collect antique buttons and I've got a drawerful. I'll probably be the kind of elderly woman with stacks of yellowed newspapers in the house. (3) My More About: Virgin
Worst Ever Wednesday: The Pregnancy Edition
2007-10-03 16:50:00 Say what you will about me, I'm nothing if not secure. Only a woman with a rock-solid ego would dare post a picture of herself looking like this: Either that, or a bat-s*** crazy woman. But I do it for you, the reader(s). This is my official Worst Pregnancy Moment Ever, captured for posterity on Kodak Premium Gold Paper. My mom took this photo two days before I delivered my twins, when she More About: Wednesday , Edition
I'm Ready To Live In A Van Down By The River
2007-10-02 15:42:00 Let me start by emphasizing how much I love our home. It's lovely, really, and compared to the crackerbox I grew up in, palatial to boot. And we were fortunate enough to buy years ago, before housing prices went wackadoo. Our house is also 30+ years old and things are beginning to . . . well . . . disintegrate. Literally. Along with our savings. It started this summer, when we bit the bullet More About: River , Live , Ready
Bus Stop Etiquette
2007-10-02 15:11:00 Fellow stay at home ladies (and yes, gents, too), can we agree not to show up at the bus stop looking freshly showered and pressed? And for the love of God, please, no makeup at 8 AM. Oh yeah: and if you're going on a run straight from the bus stop, can you do me a wee favor and not wear your Athleta/Title 9 ensemble with the bare midriff that shows your flat-as-a-board abs? Or the lycra More About: Etiquette , Stop
An Open Letter to Publishers
2007-10-02 02:01:00 Dear Publisher/Editorial Intern With Large Trust Fund: Thank you for your recent correspondence. Unfortunately, I am not able to accept your rejection at this time. Please be assured that I gave your rejection serious and personal attention. Unfortunately, I concluded that your rejection is just not appropriate for my present needs. Best of luck getting me out of your slush pile, mofos. I'm More About: Publishers , Open , Letter , Open Letter
Hell's Bells! This is Funny Stuff
2007-10-02 01:25:00 . . . ah, Mondays. Laundry catch-up. Dishes catch-up. Sometimes my life seems caught in an endless cycle of load, unload. Brain-numbing, soul-eating, cyborg repetition. Which is why it's SO important that I spend my precious child-free hours reading meaningful, enriching content on sites like this. To hell with it: the laundry can decompose, the cornflakes can encrust themselves to the cereal More About: Funny , Stuff
Allow Me To Be Shallow . . .
2007-09-26 15:39:00 So I recently received my 15-year college reunion book in the mail, wherein everyone from the Class of '92 submits a life update. And I can't help but think: OMG! How come I'm not an equity partner at a major law firm? How come I don't have my own consulting practice? How come I'm not in South America helping impoverished women start their own agri-businesses? Do I want to practice law? Do I More About: Allo
Worst Ever Wednesday!
2007-09-26 14:44:00 To all you with-it, competent, and endlessly helpful mommy bloggers out there: go ahead. Keep offering readers your "Works For Me Wednesday s". You are just chock-a-block full of all sorts of nifty organizing/homemaking tips and tricks. I, however, am not with-it, competent, or helpful in the least. And I have but one organizing/homemaking tip: when all else fails, stuff it in a drawer and
Raising the Sensitive Male
2007-09-25 16:47:00 So many times I've heard parents of boys state the truisims: "He's all boy", "He's got that boy energy", "Boys will be boys." They usually say this as Junior is slugging away with a ball and bat, jumping off a ten-foot precipice or strangling his playmate in a headlock. The parents will be shrugging and shaking their heads, but their voices are unmistakably proud and delighted. My son is not More About: Male , Sensitive
A Window Into the Male Mind
2007-09-24 18:18:00 I am not proud of the fact that my husband loves this website. Please don't click on this link if you're easily offended by thong-wearing, bleached-blond, surgically-enhanced bimbos. Although the site isn't really about bimbos. It's about the ridiculous-looking men that hang out with the bimbos. And the point is to humiliate these men, mainly by bestowing them with creatives monikers deriving More About: Mind , Male , Window
Prepare to Gag . . . in a Good Way
2007-09-20 04:12:00 Even as a child, I was never one for unicorns, rainbows and posters of puppies. But Cute Overload is just the site for parents who need to coax their spawn out of an irritable mood. Our favorite is the amazing obstacle-course squirrel. All right, I admit it! Screw the kids, I love this site just for ME! Give me more baby bunnies piled on top of kitties! More dog-cat snuggling! I even love the More About: Good , Pare , Prep
Big Box Fatigue
2007-09-20 03:12:00 I buy my throw pillows at Pier 1, shop for chachkas at Pottery Barn, and love Target as much as the next person. And it's not as if I'm against the global economy. It's just that lately I'm finding it kind of depressing that we all seem to be able to identify the source of each others' clothing, accessories and home decor. For example: a friend stopped by to checkout our newly remodeled bathroom
Help
2007-09-19 15:32:00 Zach has announced that he wants to be the SOLAR SYSTEM for Halloween. Any ideas? I'm thinking buy a cheap solar system mobile and rig it up to him somehow.
Meet The Monster I Have Created
2007-09-18 19:07:00 Yes, that's right. It's Katy the Bunny, my daughter's sixth birthday gift. Also known as "Killer" and "Fangs Mahoney." That rabbit has to be one of my top 10 parenting mistakes of all time, narrowly beating out the time I enrolled the kids in a sports camp in which they had absolutely no interest, because it would be "good for them" (it wasn't. Half the time they sat out the sports, telling More About: Meet , Monster , Mons
More Humor From the Son
2007-09-13 15:19:00 I have turned into one of those mothers I've always deplored . . . the type who posts verbatim quotes from her kids. But I can't help myself, my little guy makes me laugh. Take this exchange: Zach: Why are babies born in hospitals? Me: It's easier for the doctors and nurses to deliver them there. Zach: I didn't know you could mail a baby. Does it come in a box? He then proceeded to laugh More About: Humor
New Jersey is Pretty
2007-09-13 14:58:00 It's true! I came here from Chicago ten years ago and dreaded the move. I had the impression the entire state was a toxic waste dump -- and my fears were decidedly not put to rest by the drive out of Newark Airport (cue the opening credits of the Sopranos). But after settling down in the central part of the state, I have to say I love all the rolling farmland (another reason to support open More About: New Jersey , Pretty , Jersey
Trampy Girls Clothing, Revisited
2007-09-10 01:05:00 I had to laugh when I saw this message board post on Slate. It is in response to an article by Emily Yoffe, lamenting the abundance of trashy and hypersexualized girls clothing: Doesn't ANYONE remember? Satin hot pants and a satin jacket worn with Candie's slides? Tight, pegged jeans. Tight, girl-cut t-shirts with shiny glitter mottos on them? I remember one girl in the 7th grade who had a More About: Girls , Clothing , Cloth
Hovering and Spoiling Check
2007-09-06 19:46:00 I find that if I don't watch myself, I easily fall into two of the biggest "bad parenting" traps: (1) trying to shield my kids from any slight or hurt, whether real or perceived, and (2) giving them stuff they don't need. An article like this one from Philly Mag is a much-needed reality check, and one that I'll return to as my kids start to rail against me for assigning them more chores. Lots More About: Check , Erin , Hove
Woo-hoo!
2007-09-06 19:29:00 I am so much happier than these women (also much older, wrinkled, and flatter). Yeah, being crowned Miss America is great . . . but it pales in comparison to dropping your kids off at the bus stop on the first day of school..I am officially free!!!.To those of you who have likewise survived the summer months with the spawn, I salute you! Go grab a lawn chair, a margarita, and the trashiest
Mamma mia! I think he's onto something . . .
2007-09-03 17:10:00 The following is culled from Ciao, America! by Beppe Severgnini, an Italian's observations on American culture: "British children tend to be thrown into the world like parachutists from an airplane -- they're on their own -- but their American equivalents are prepared with the care that professional mechanics lavish on racing cars. Every detail is crucial, and subjected to scrupulous attention, More About: Some , Mamma Mia
Oh, no I DIDN'T!
2007-08-31 16:18:00 My mother is hell-bent on clearing out her little California ranch of all the paraphenalia I've stored there since childhood. So, unasked, she mailed me a ginormous box of about every paper I've ever written, every letter I've ever received, every note I ever passed in class. And of course, on top of it all, was the ubiquitous "poetry notebook" that I carried with me everywhere from about age 13-
Found It!!!
2007-08-30 15:44:00 A shout-out goes to 24 Crayons, who not only maintains a fun blog, but linked to PostSecret, one of my new obsessions. I love this site, where people anonymously confess their dirty -- and joyful, liberating -- little secrets. If I were to post a confession, it would be: I let the sheets go way, way too long before changing them. To add to the fun, this morning the Post ran an article about
The Perils of Rent-A-Rabbi
More articles from this author:2007-08-28 17:45:00 Ever google people who have come in and out of your life? Yesterday I googled the name of the guy who married us, "Rabbi " Jerry Heller, and came across this older blog entry indicating that he was finally sentenced for fraud. What sort of fraud, you ask? Forging rabbinical documents. Yes, we were married by a fake rabbi. A rabbi impersonator, not to be confused with an Elvis impersonator or drag More About: Rent , Peri 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 |
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