Confessions of a College GraduateConfessions of a College GraduateI have to admit, the college degree is not all it is cracked up to be. I am proud of it, and don't regret it of course, but I still thought I would be making more money about now, and would be treated with a bit more respect. Oh well. Let's see where Articles
Mondays
2007-04-24 03:51:00 I feel like the more work I do, the more I am behind. Today I spent a ton of time on one client so that they would leave me alone for awhile. I think I made him think that he could use me more for more things.Drama has been going on at work recently, and it is mostly due to the fact that the more work I do, the more I am behind. People are complaining and trying to bypass the chain of command to be heard about the over abundance of work. Its a bunch of drama that I think is going to erupt. It might have already erupted, but who knows. I have learned that things get around fast, and you cannot trust anyone. Not that I am innocent. Almost kidding.I talked to a client today on the phone about how I still do not have a house. He tried to convince me that soon I will be able to. That I just need to move forward and get a town house. I have been considering this. Or I can move to Austin with Mike and afford a house. We shall see if that happens, but I think it is a serious option. This i... More About: Mondays
Big Brother Continues to Watch
2007-04-05 05:29:00 So I found out recently that at my work they monitor your keystrokes with some sort of software. I think it might be worse than Office Space, except my boss is pretty cool. Apparently they have access to all my passwords now, including my bank account and email account since I signed on there. I should change the password. How shady would that be if they looked though? Either way, why would you want to keep that?Also, I am not allowed to work anywhere on the side basically. We are not allowed to work for anyone company that competes with ours. You might think, well thats easy you should just work for anything but that topic. But really, the corporation owns a TON of companies, so practically anywhere I work would go against that agreement.On the plus side, I am going to SES New York on Monday. I canNOT wait for this. I was never a big fan of New York, but now I get to go for free and stay in a hotel right next to Central Park. Woo hoo! Also, I get to meet a bunch of SEO celebritie... More About: Watch , Big Brother , Brother
If I was mormon I would be going to hell....
2007-03-21 05:06:00 Tonight I was home alone with the pups when two little adorable 18 year old mormon boys came to the door. One of my dogs, Emily, is kinda nuts. We sorta rescued her (if you call it that) and she is kind of a little off when it comes to men. She likes to attack them at random times.When I opened the door to greet the cute little mormon boys Emily decided it would be a good time to attack. I grabbed her before she bit, but I did have to hold her on my hip after that. In the meantime, Ender had gotten out of the house, but was just trying to play with the boys. He loves people and is always up for some attention. I had to grab Ender too and hold him on the other side of my hip because he would get away otherwise. I could have actually put them inside and walked outside, but I really did not want to be cornered by these mormon boys. I dont know how to politely say that I think your religion is not anything I am interested in to see boys. In no way will I ever convert, but I don't kno... More About: Hell , Mormon
Side Projects vs. Crap Jobs
2007-03-14 00:56:00 So I am now in a place where I have to decide whether to look for side project jobs or have consistent paycheck from crappy jobs, like retail.I am broke beyond belief. With my last paycheck, I only got about $50 back after bills. How do I eat with that? I don't.Mike told me about this book his friend was reading the other day, called Generation Me: Why Today's Young Americans Are More Confident, Assertive, Entitled--and More Miserable Than Ever Before. This book talks about how "Generation Me," which is supposedly my generation, believes we deserve more than we do, and have higher self esteem then we do achievements. This idea has been bothering me a lot. I believe I do deserve a lot, not just because of my self esteem, but because my achievments. I believe a deserve more not only because I have a college degree, but because I have worked my ass off and have a lot of experience in my career objectives. I have work experience and an education. I have done everything I was told to... More About: Projects , Jobs , Crap , Side
I've been Spied On
2007-03-09 07:51:00 So big brother's eyes are on me I found out today. I am 99.999% sure that someone was spying on what I do on my computer at work. It was kind of annoying I have to admit, because, really, why me? I have a college degree, I have kicked ass, I get a LOT of work done (and do it well) and I am still being treated like I am 5 years old. Is it just the company, or are a lot of big corporate companies like this? I don't get it.
February 25, 2007
2007-03-09 07:50:00 I almost wanted to quit this blog because I didn't want to explain the situation over again. My nephew, my sister's baby, passed away last Tuesday. He officially died from excess blood hemmorages and lack of brain development due to being suffocated in the womb. They are pretty sure the hemmorage is from the birth, which was HORRIBLE. And they think he was being suffocated in the womb from fluid sacs in my sister's stomach that were caused by her getting gestational diabetes, which the doctor never cared to fix. It seems like a lot of this was all caused by doctors neglect.Even with someone to blame, it is still incredibly hard to take. I was able to go to Kansas City to visit the little boy, and be with my sister. He was the sweetest little boy I have ever seen, and was beyond adorable. Everything was perfect with him, except for his brain. I have explained the situation a million times it seems, as as well as covering it up while explaining it to myself a million times. I don'... More About: February
February 13, 2007
2007-03-09 07:50:00 My sister is having a baby tonight (or tomorrow). They think it might be a Valentines Day baby! aww. I will be an Aunt officially tonight. Wow!!In other news, I had a conversation with a pretty notable company yesterday about something of interest. It was a big enough company to spend a 30 minute phone call with. Turns out it is a company in Santa Monica, and no not Google (I wish). Not really an option for me.I got really excited about it, but blah. Told them no today because Santa Monica is not an option. At least I know I can be a match for someone else. Good confidence booster.I decided to wait for Google. Hahah. Or at least get more experience and then try for Google. Here's to hoping.Can't wait to see the new little one in the family. Not sure how I will be able to visit it. Hopefully I can soon. I think my mom is heading out in a few days. How cute, a baby on Valentines Day! aww!! More About: February
February 3, 2007
2007-03-09 07:50:00 When does the debt end? Some of its from stupid stuff that didnt need to happen. Like buying clothes I dont "need" or eating places that are too expensive, etc.It seems like a never ending black hole that I will never escape. Once I get rid of it, I will probably just start to have even more debt, what with a house and whatnot.Does debt ever end in America? Definitely not in California, it seems.I waste so much money on rent, that I could never afford to even save to buy a house here. But I am a true Californian, in the fact that I cannot ever imagine myself anywhere else in the world without regretting it.Right now, I am not even depressed about the debt, I am just wondering if it will ever end? If not, why am I stressing out so much about it right now? I mean, if I am just going to end up with the amount of debt a house leaves you with, my measely student loans are nothing.Do I have to wait until my 50s before my debt is even close to gone? Will it be worse then?I guess, the only ... More About: February
January 21, 2007
2007-03-09 07:49:00 I always want to be perfect, but I will never be able to be a perfectionist. Slighty tragic, I think.I hate when you have a great week, and you are starting to feel confident again in yourself and then in a span of 1 hour, you can lose every bit of confidence you gained, and probably have it go back to even worse than when you started the week.I cant live in this type of environment. So either I have to just suck it up for a 9.5 months, so I can move on, or I have to start being perferct every second. That expectation will never work out, of course, because no one can always be perfect, so, I guess you know which decision I have already made.You start to begin to think about maybe you chose the wrong option, the wrong course of life, when in actuality you just chose the wrong place to spend most of your waking hours. I feel locked in, because I cant just up and change now, after already doing that once. I figurre it always starts out slightly sucky at first for everyone. My brother ... More About: January , January 21
December 21, 2006
2007-03-09 07:49:00 Screw the corner office, I want my own bathroom. One of the biggest problems with working outside the home, or a tiny office, is that you have to share a bathroom. Sharing a bathroom is ALWAYS awkward. If you are not worried about what other people will think of you while you are in the bathroom, you have to smell the other people going the bathroom, and deal with their awkwardness and weirdness when they pretend that they do not go number 2. I just hate everything about it.Things here have been getting better, although today was ridiculous. People you do a lot for, more than other people, often complain and try to screw you. I will never go the extra mile for ANYONE unless I have proof that they are nice. I HATE when people treat me like dirt, when I am the one who is making them money, and LOTS of it. eff you.Also, as a person in a nerdy career, dominated in general by guys, I feel that my clients often think less of me because I am a woman. I feel that they quiz me more than they... More About: December
November 29, 2006
2007-03-09 07:48:00 I have a lot to say, but am not ready to say it. Mike knows it. He is really the only one who really knows about it. He has been such a big help with everything. He spent 3 hours last night coaching me on something I should have learned how to do when I was in elementary school; have a conversation without stumbling over my words and in the meantime not sounding like a jerk.I often feel like there is too much to do, and not enough time to do it. I feel like I am trying as hard as I can, but just like one of those bad dreams, I just can't run fast enough. I love what I am doing, I just wish I had more time to do it.The past few days I have been thinking about how Jeremy told me on my birthday, when I barely even knew him, that 22 was probably the hardest year of his life. Sometimes I feel like maybe it will also be mine too, like he forwarned. But then I look around at the positive things, like Mike, my friends, my family and the pups and how this year cannot possibly be the worst y... More About: November
November 19, 2006
2007-03-09 07:48:00 I am up for the challenge if you give me long enough to take it.This is one of the biggest challenges I have taken on, dealing with a mass amount of people and bsing them all day long.What I learned in high school, how to bs my way through the dumb classes and still get good grades, is what will help me here. I know how to do the job, but bsing the people is what has to happen. I will not lie to them but I will learn to placate with them to make the situations better. I will toughen up. I will act rude if I need to. I will not let them walk all over me. I will be strong. If they dont want to package I will send them to customer service to make note of it. I will not let them unload their stress onto me and waste 10 of my minutes yelling at me about dialing the wrong number. I have control of the situation. And, I will come up with an effective script to persuade them from ever thinking twice on questioning me. Not that they should anyway.So, please dont let a few screw ups ruin my c... More About: November
November 15, 2006
2007-03-09 07:48:00 Today I made my first payment to my student loans. I also spent money on paying on credit card debt and dealing with over 15 clients in one day. I have dogs now that depend on me, everyday, and what seems like every minute while I am at home. When I am on my computer they give me a guilt trip by barking at me every five seconds to get off and play with them. It is very hard to get things done sometimes. They even follow me into the bathroom when I shower or just need to pee. It is quite interesting how attached they have become. I love them a lot and don't mind, for the most part, but I feel more and more grown up everyday.I would like to now talk about my new job. I love the job for the most part, except talking on the phone. I am not sure I am allowed to talk about this on the whole world wide web, but basically, people start arguements about strange things. When I walk around stores and anywhere public and I see people that remind me of some of these people I am on the phone wit... More About: November
October 23 2006
2007-03-09 07:47:00 So my stomach has been all nasty feeling ever since I drank a "Well Being" Naked Juice. I love those, a lot, but I am definitely not a "well being" right now.Yuck.Ironic, when I want to be healthy and force myself to drink my fruit, that I actually get nasty feeling from it. Awesome.Other than that, today was definitely a Monday. I got 4 hours of sleep and kept fucking everything up at work. ie:Me: Ring... Ring... Miss, can you tell me your account number so I can charge you for this thing you never wanted in the first place but you are required to pay for?Client: Fine, here it is. click.Me: Shit... I forgot to ask for her address. Ring Ring, Hi, im annoying, I forgot your address.Client: Here it is. grr. ClickMe: Shit... I forgot the cvv2 code. Ring Ring, okay i know you hate me now, but.... Client: Okay... get it right next time... you freaking idiot (they mumble under their breath (not literally))Click.Me: Shit... I forgot to get her ID number. Fuck...Ring Ring... can i have your... More About: October
October 27, 2006
2007-03-09 07:47:00 So, I am not one of those people who especially likes Halloween. Okay, I don't like it (especially not especially). I don't hate it either, but nothing about it, aside from the mass amounts of candy, really gets me excited. One of the reasons that I do not like it very much is because I do not like to get dressed up as something else. I like who I am, and I don't like to make a spectacle over what I am wearing. Really, I would prefer to be the wallflower most of the time. At least when it comes to be trying to look silly on purpose. Another reason why I don't like Halloween and Halloween parties is because I am not one for parties, really, I don't like parties, well like college parties or whatever, where drinking is the main aspect of the party. I prefer parties where people are coherent or are at least entertaining to a funny point when they are incoherent. Hah.Everyone at work, and the rest of my friends, are all talking about Halloween plans and their costumes, etc. I am ju... More About: October
October 11 2006
2007-03-09 07:46:00 So, it has been a big week for me. The new start at a new job. I start a lot earlier than I have ever started at a job (7 am) but I get out at 330pm, which is amazing. Seriously.I like my boss, she seems pretty awesome so far. The people at work seem pretty neat too, although I have no real friends yet. But I know that takes time. I miss people from BP a lot, but I think overall this is a better move for me.I like the job I will be doing a lot, once I start that is. It is all SEO, which is what I want. Woo hoo!!I had a lot to say earlier, but I just had to email a bunch of people. I am not able to email during the day because I am getting trained by people all day so I have a lot of backlog email. It is nice to read. I just feel out of touch with the world when I cant email or read blogs. Soon enough.I dont have a desk yet at work, and I dont think I do all week. Monday I start for real, and I cannot wait. woo hoo.Also, I think I can start the gym next week. I found out its not comp... More About: October
October 18, 2006
2007-03-09 07:46:00 I have gone swimming for 45 mins for 3 days. I am sore. My body feels as heavy as lead.Work is getting better, although I might have offended one of my clients on accident. He is gay, which I could care less about (either way), and I said something that made it sound like I didn't think the gay crowd in SAN FRANCISCO was big. Of course it is big, who doesn't know that? I felt like such an idiot. I was on the phone for probably 2.5 hours, and it was pure stress. When I got done with it, after having to pee BADLY for the last 45 minutes of the conversation, I went to the bathroom and saw that my entire face and body was flushed with anxiety. I have to say it was a bit embarassing, both on the phone, and at work.I wanted to write because I felt I had something to say. But really, all I have to say is that either technology or a person is mad at me. I hope it is the technology. Hmmm.I watched America's Next Top Model tonight and now One Tree Hill is on. I have it on still because I h... More About: October
October 17, 2006
2007-03-09 07:46:00 First I want to start out with what has been on my mind since I started my new job: I think I am too polite.I feel like people see me as this goody two shoes, who is incredibly preppy because I am polite and showed up to work in "business casual" attire for the first week. But when I don't know people I am beyond polite because that is what I was taught to do as a little girl. Or, what I just felt was right.Would my boss like me more or less if I stopped saying thank you as frequently as I do? I don't know. At this place, it seems as if at times I seem too preppy, when in fact I am not very preppy, at all. But I dont want to appear exactly as I am as soon as I start off.Do I want to tell them that although I love the new job, I also would like to take breaks checking my e-mail? I don't think that would go over well. But as all my friends know, I have not been one to e-mail these past 2 weeks, so even there I am not my normal self. I think at this new job though that I will be too... More About: October
October 6 2006
2007-03-09 07:45:00 Today is my last day. I am beyond over it at this point. But, I am also getting nervous about the new company and my current finacials.You know your first day at work, how you feel incredibly awkward. You don't know who to trust, or what to expect. What are the rules? Do they freak out if you are a minute late (literally) like they do here? Do they expect you to work later than your scheduled time, or is that not even allowed. Where is the water? Where do I put my lunch? Do I go to lunch with people. I can't afford it, but might lose potential friends if I don't the first week.All I can focus on right now is that I am beyond excited about the gym. I really hope it is the gym I am hoping it will be.I need to do work here, but I dont see the strategic point. I need to shred some papers, but then I have the whole awkward situation by the boss. I also need to do work for KJ but want to fall asleep while I do it. I need to clean out my desk, and perhaps make everything seem easy to ge... More About: October
October 5 2006
2007-03-09 07:44:00 Do you ever have those days where you feel like no one is REALLY listening to you. I had that day yesterday. I am not sure if it is because I pretty much suck at talking often, or because they just don't care what I have to say.I have a problem with telling stories, and I go through phases when I am around people who don't make me feel confident, where I just stutter (not entirely literally) and stumble over everything I say. With certain people I can be me, where I am crazy, sometimes funny, and perhaps even entertaining. There are only a select few. Mike is one of them, my family is included, teddy, jeremy, carey, some of mike's friends, and sometimes Molly.I am not sure what is about these people that make me come out as who I really am, but they do. And it isn't like they ALWAYS do this, because I often have off days, like yesterday. I hate off days. Don't mistake that with days off, because I love those.I wonder why the other people make me act as if I have speech impedime... More About: October
Growing Up
2007-03-09 07:41:00 I have been writing in blogs since I was 14 years old. I am now 22, and still love it as an outlet.I graduated from San Diego State with a degree in Communication and a minor in Sociology in May 2006. I loved it there, and miss it. I had no idea I would miss school so much, but I have.It has been quite a few months now since I have been out, and have been experiencing the world as a grown up ever since.I always considered myself more grown up than the rest, because unlike most people I went to school with, I paid my own way through college and could barely pull $20 out of my parents. I had no idea I would be experiencing what I am now. Its not exactly like it is horrible or anything, but it is definitely not ideal.A day after graduate I started my first job after college. The job was not all it turned out to be. I ended up being everyone's bitch and doing things that did not require a college education. I was pissed about it. And to top it off, the boss was pretty crazy, and threw ... More About: Growing , Growing Up |
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