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Alex the Flying Finn
2008-04-03 01:10:00
No he is not a ski jumper.Meet Alex Stubb, the new Finnish Foreign Minister . He makes Alexander Downer and Stephen Smith look a little stogy.Alex got the job when his much more dour looking predecessor was a bit too free and easy with texting cute girls.Thanks Scottish Goss Master in Chief, Mr Eugenides
More About: Flying , Dorky

Coal Miners Rest Easy with Rudd Government Backing More Coal Power Stations
2008-04-02 23:22:00
The Rudd Government has backed coal as a major long term player in Australia's energy mix.New coal-fired power stations in Australia are inevitable and proposals to bury carbon dioxide emissions deep underground are essential if the country it is to tackle climate change, federal Resources and Energy Minister Martin Ferguson stated yesterday as he launched the world's first scientific demonstration of so-called carbon sequestration. This involves pumping near-liquid carbon dioxide underground for permanent storage in geological formations such as dry oil and gas reservoirs. The largely government-funded $40 million testing plant near Nirranda will pump carbon dioxide from a naturally occurring reservoir and then compress the gas and inject it 2km underground into an old oil and gas reservoir. The CO2 will then be monitored for two years to assess the risk of leakages and the potential for the gas to corrode the porous rock that would house it beneath a layer of impermeable rock...
More About: Power , Environment , Coal

Pet of the Day - Higgins the Pig
2008-04-02 22:47:00
Our friend Joanne has an interesting pet which she inherited from her son, who had a very serious car accident. She got the pig because she is a Buddhist and vegetarian and was the most likely not to roast it.Every day she prepares a meal like this for him. She has to go around bakers and vegetable shops and pick up supplies, cook up some past and lentils to keep in the style that he is accustomed. Two thirds of her very nice fridge is filled with his supplies.Personally that is way too much. We could probably feed our whole family for a week with most of this food.Spotty was extremely nervous when we went to visit last weekend. I am sure Higgins might have him for lunch. I am not sure how long I could share the love with a pig.My personal ambition is to get a kangaroo or a wallaby. Very impractical. Perhaps we could rent one for a few weeks. I recently watched the Spike Milligan documentary made with the cooperation of his family. I loved his Australian connection and his friend w...
More About: Pets

Can't say that I have ever considered this before
2008-04-02 12:23:00
43%I seriously doubt that I would do this. I hate the sight of blood and plucking chickens or deboning fish are beyond me. Besides I don't want to be known as Campbell the Cannibal.Thanks Nunyaa, who is less likely to eat her friends.

April Fools Wrap Up
2008-04-01 21:59:00
Chicken Yogurt had a classic for April Fools Day. Sufficiently credible to make you think, but with enough doubt to make you question it. I visited for the first time in a while, randomly yesterday. Very good. From the BBC (so it must be true), we have a list of 10 shoulda been coulda been April Fools stories (but they're not). I didn't even participate other than to offer my son some "yucky" soup for breakfast.It's here again, the day when jokers set out to make fools of the rest of us. But not every bizarre story is a hoax. Here is a round-up of some of the day's seemingly spoof news stories which are actually true (and one that isn't).1. A new pay-per-view funeral service scheme is being launched today. The Daily Mail says the scheme at Southampton Crematorium allows mourners to grieve from home by watching proceedings online.2. A turtle is addicted to nicotine. He became addicted after picking up the smouldering butts in his owner's garden, in Kouqian, China, and sulks if ...
More About: Wrap

Scottish Politicians Huff and Puff Patriotically
2008-03-31 23:53:00
Scottish politicians in Scotland have forced an enormous back down by their Scottish colleagues in Westminster.Public buildings in Scotland will be allowed to fly the Saltire year-round following a government climbdown in response to pressure from nationalists.UK ministers will this week announce the lifting of restrictions on flag flying that have been in force since 1924. The rules stipulate that the Union Jack must must take precedence over all national flags on 18 days each year.Scottish government buildings with only one flagpole must take down the Saltire and replace it with the Union Jack on specified national days including the Queen's birthday, Remembrance Day and Commonwealth Day. The decision to give the Saltire equal status has been welcomed by the Scottish National party. ?It's a recognition that we are in charge of our flag flying arrangements,? said a senior Scottish government source.Wow! Important stuff. The Scots are now in charge of flag flying. Now that they ha...
More About: Politicians , Huff , Puff , Scottish

My desk tells this story
2008-03-31 11:56:00
Your Thinking is Abstract and RandomYou are flexible, adaptable, and creative.There's many ways that you can learn - and you're up for any of them.You relate well to other people, and you do well working in groups.You can help people communicate together and work with each other's strengths.You don't work well with people who are competitive or adversarial.You prefer to work toward a common goal... not toward conflicting goals.What Kind of Thinker Are You?The lady who works next to me is exactly the opposite to me in the way she goes about projects. Orderly and neat and deadline orientated. I am disorderly, random, chaotic and intermittently deadline orientated. I amaze myself that I am still in consulting given this fatal flaw, given that deadlines are pretty important. I am very good at envisaging and framing a project and getting it kicked off. Also usually pretty hopeless at getting it completed on time or on budget. The other thing I hate to deal with is conflict and adver...
More About: Story , Desk , Tells

Now it all makes sense
2008-03-31 10:46:00
You Inner Gender is FemaleYou're sensitive, caring, and willing to connect with anyone who's open to you.You make friends easily, and you enjoy all sorts of conversations.You understand most people you meet - better than they understand themselves. You're totally a woman... or at the very least, your soul is female.What's Your Inner Gender?
More About: Sense

Liz's Diamond Do Cancelled Amongst Economic Doom and Gloom
2008-03-31 07:58:00
The Queen (God Bless her soul) has voted with her feet and called the state of the UK economy as it is.The Queen has cancelled a party to mark her diamond wedding anniversary because she felt it would be "inappropriate" to hold a lavish celebration with the country on the brink of recession.Guests at the party, which was due to be held at The Ritz this weekend, would have been served champagne from crystal-studded bottles and dined off tablecloths covered with sparkling jewels.But with her subjects facing rising bills and falling house prices, and the banking system paralysed by the so-called "credit crunch", the Queen has decided that the celebration would be regarded as insensitive.Her highlighting of the dire state of the economy will not be welcomed by the Prime Minister, who faces daily reminders from his advisers that the electorate has lost the "feel-good" factor ? and is punishing him for it in the opinion polls. Doesn't she look glamorous.Thanks The Daily Mail
More About: Economic , Doom , Diamond , The Queen

Max Mosely Likes Kinky Sex
2008-03-31 06:02:00
It seems that that upper class Brits like kinky sex and fast cars.Max Mosley, one of the most powerful men in world sport, was under pressure to resign as boss of Formula One ?s governing body last night after he was exposed enjoying a Nazi-style orgy with five prostitutes. Jewish groups condemned the behaviour of Mosley, 67, whose father, Sir Oswald, was the leader of the British Union of Fascists and a friend of Adolf Hitler. Mr Mosley was caught on video by the News of the World with five women in an underground ?torture chamber? in Chelsea, where he spent several hours allegedly indulging in sado-masochistic sex. The Oxford-educated former barrister, who is president of the Fédération Internationale de l?Automobile (FIA), reenacted a concentration camp scene in which he played the role of both guard and inmate. function pictureGalleryPopup(pubUrl,articleId) { var newWin = window.open(pubUrl+'template/2.0-0/elemen t/pictureGalleryPopup.jsp?id='+articleId+ '&&offset=0&§ion...
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Hamburger Helper II Marks Ten Years
2008-03-30 13:00:00
Another generation of Hamburger Helper is helping to save (or ruin) marriages all over the world.Impotence Australia's president, Brett McCann, says: "We can keep going on with researchers saying men shouldn't be so focused on their penis, but we just are ? that's the bottom line."Speaking of the real somewhat culinary stuff, which I have not seen for years, I wonder if it is served off the bone? I see from the article that it was in the top three for top food fads of the 1970s in America. Scots would have been proud to have been associated with such a dull food product.Pfizer claims around 1.8 billion erections have been stimulated at around $10 a pop since the blue bomber was introduced. And that does not include the gazillions of Viagra knock offs that clog up our email spam inboxes. I wonder if you can spice up spam with Hamburger Helper?Onward.
More About: Years , Marks

Catastrophic Cleanup Plans in China
2008-03-29 22:51:00
China is culling thousands of pets in a quest to present a clean and green image for their sporting visitors later in the year.Thousands of pet cats in Beijing are being abandoned by their owners and sent to die in secretive government pounds as China mounts an aggressive drive to clean up the capital in preparation for the Olympic Games. Hundreds of cats a day are being rounded and crammed into cages so small they cannot even turn around. Then they are trucked to what animal welfare groups describe as death camps on the edges of the city.
More About: China , Plans , Cleanup

Live Blogging Earth Hour
2008-03-29 10:02:00
7.40 Lights Out7.45 Lights Still OutOK I am just joking. I think that would defeat the purpose and intent of Earth Hour .That said, it is easy to be cynical about Earth Hour, but I am encouraged by the short conversation that I had with my kids, who thought it was a jolly good idea and could we do it every day.Increasing awareness, especially amongst young people has to make sense, especially since they are the generation who will really have to deal with it.Ten minutes to go in Adelaide and all the lights are still out. Sponge Bob and the Fridge are the major power movers. Cold beer and quiet kids are a small sacrifice in the quest for the greater good.7.55 Lights Still Off......Enjoy whatever you did or are going to do without your lights.*Switches Computer Off*10.14 Lights still out* Family sleeps*Seriously that was stressful, with candles and kids. I was burned badly when I was little and open flame and kids make me nervous.OK Power Producers, you can crank it up again. Let the c...
More About: Blogging , Live

South Australia Water Prognosis. Grimmer and Grimmmer
2008-03-29 01:46:00
In a week when we finally get some rain, it is depressing to see this and read this.234km upstream of its now mud- and sand-choked entrance to the South ern Ocean, the river flowed proud and strong. People would ski and fish in the lagoon at nearby Walker Flat, on one of the Murray's most picturesque reaches. Today, the waterhole is virtually dry. Lifeless gum trees stand like sun-scorched toothpicks on its banks, where the water used to be waist-deep. "I walked out the other day with waders into a metre of mud," said David le Brun, who operates night tours for visitors to Big Bend. "For the people on the river, who live on it, it is devastating." Nothing new, just the grim reality.Very like the Colorado River just as it enters Mexico. Everybody else gets their dibs. South Australia gets the dregs.South Australia , the water gringos of Australia.
More About: Water , Drought

Officer I have a Wombat up my bum!
2008-03-28 21:51:00
This reminds me of all the gay jokes about gerbils as sex aids, but a little more out there.Police prosecutor Sergeant Chris Stringer told the court that on the afternoon of February 11 Cradock called the police communications centre, threatening to "smash the filth" if they arrived at his home that night. When asked if he had an emergency, he replied "yes", Mr Stringer said. On a second subsequent call to the communications centre, Cradock told police he was being raped by a wombat at his Motueka address, and sought their immediate help. He called police again soon after, and gave his full name, saying he wanted to withdraw the complaint. "I'll retract the rape complaint from the wombat, because he's pulled out," Cradock told the operator at the communications centre, who had no idea what he was talking about, Mr Stringer said. "Apart from speaking Australian now, I'm pretty all right you know, I didn't hurt my bum at all," Cradock then told the operator.I mean wombats are pre...
More About: Officer

Ta Ta Shane
2008-03-28 21:17:00
Shane Warne has retired from First Class Cricket to pursue a life of gambling, smoking, celebrity cricket, drinking, galavanting, getting rich, commentating, whatever.I have only seen him once up close and personal. He was walking down North Terrace in Adelaide mobile phone glued to his ear. I wonder if he texted his resignation to Hampshire. Ths Shane Ta Ta CU in th barWhat a great competitor and good luck with whatever you do next.
More About: Shane

Photo Hunt: Higher
2008-03-28 13:06:00
Ever since she was very little Hannah has loved to swing high. "Higher Higher Higher Daddy!" What are dads for if not to push their kids on swings?photohunt
More About: Photo , Hunt

No Thanks Martin
2008-03-28 12:37:00
Martin Coopers vision of the sim card implanted at birth with everyone having their own telephone number for life has failed to live up to his vision for the future. When Martin Cooper invented the mobile phone 35 years ago, he envisioned a world with people so wedded to wireless connections that they would walk around with devices embedded in their bodies.Cooper said he was so enthused after his first mobile call that he liked to joke that phone numbers would become so important that "when you were born you would get a phone number and if you didn't answer it you would die.""The idea is that the phone number becomes part of you," said Cooper, who is also waiting for the day when he merely thinks about calling a particular person and the phone will automatically dial the number.Great vision Martin, but thank goodness this has not come to pass.When he made that first phone call in 1973, there were no commercial models. Now there are 3 billion. If only he had got a dollar a phone in ...
More About: Martin

Must Have List for Rednecks
2008-03-27 20:08:00
The memories of my my many years in America come flooding back. They certainly have them here in Australia, but they are just not quite as stereotypical as these. Thanks Crikey
More About: List

Call Me Back When You Have Some Money
2008-03-27 03:14:00
Dumb robber gives out mobile phone number to prospective robbery victims who didn't have any money. Too bad the cops were called first and were waiting when he came to rob a second time.Sometimes the truth is more unbelievable than fiction.
More About: Money , Back , Call

Abu the Maggot Mullah Crawls Out
2008-03-26 22:14:00
Indonesia today announced a new anti tourist strategy recently with the appointment of Abu Bakar Bashir as Minister for Abusing Westerners. In a talk given in October last year, Bashir urged his followers to ?beat up? western tourists, whom he called ?worms, snakes and maggots?, The Australian reported today.Why Australians would holiday in that country is a little beyond me. If ever there was a worm snake or maggot, it is him.
More About: Indonesia , Mullah

Did You See It?
2008-03-25 12:41:00
I wonder if this is just a low level peripheral vision issue.Thanks somebody.

Hypnoheister on the loose in Italy.
2008-03-25 07:29:00
A hypnotising thief is making off with large amounts of dough by hypnotising shop clerks and bank tellers and raiding the till. Either this is a massive con or this guy is pretty clever.Police in Italy have issued footage of a man who is suspected of hypnotising supermarket checkout staff to hand over money from their cash registers. In every case, the last thing staff reportedly remember is the thief leaning over and saying: ?Look into my eyes?, before finding the till empty.Now nice reader, follow this watch and click on all my advertising widgets and come back tomorrow and the next day and do the same........Thanks BogBrush

Origins of Sex in Outback South Australia
2008-03-24 20:53:00
Apparently it all began in the Flinders Ranges about 570 million years ago.Scientists believe they have discovered the earliest evidence of animal sex, between 30cm- long knobby tubular animals which lived on the then sea floor in the Ediacaran Hills within the Flinders Ranges. Beating the previous record by 30 million years, the earliest known animals to have sex are now Funisia Dorothea, their exploits revealed this week in the international magazine Science. Funisia Dorothea covered the seafloor of the region during the Neoproterozoic era, a 100-million-year period ending around 540 million years ago.So sex evolved from nobby tubular animals on the sea bed to involving nobby tubular appendages on the bed. And that took over 500 million years. I wonder where it will go next?
More About: Australia , South , South Australia , Outback

The Former Mrs McCartney Goes Shopping
2008-03-23 21:50:00
Heather Mills, the Imelda Marcos of the artificial limb gets going on spending her fortune.Thanks Mr Eugenides who has some great jokes in the comments.My biggest regret is that we can no longer tell the joke about Macca buying her a plane for Christmas, and a Ladyshave for the other leg.Mrs. Mills-McCartney is said to be distraught over the split. "He has been my crutch for so long"! She said in an earlier briefing, "I have no idea why this has happened, I'm really stumped""She's running around in circles", according to a close friend, "she will need all the support she can get. It's not like it's easy to walk out on a relationship like this"After his break up with Heather, Paul was asked if he would ever consider going down on one knee again. Paul said he would prefer it if we called her Heather.What's the difference between Heather Mills and Northern Rock?One has got 25 million quid, is a bit wobbly and fucks old people with lots of savings.The other ones a building society....
More About: Shopping

Seems it wasn't the Milkman
2008-03-23 21:20:00
MyHeritage: Look-alike Meter - Genelogy - Family historyIan Grey put me on to this. You can also do a vanity test and compare yourself to celebrities. One of mine was Arnold Schwarzenegger. You can autopost from their website to Blogger and I assumed that when it didn't work, that it was just a flaw. Turns out that I posted them to James's site where I have posting rights. It is the first one on the dashboard. I will remember that next time. Anyway thanks for the hospitality James.Our kids were definitely keen to arrive. Elizabeth only had to mention that maybe it was time to think about have children. We were in Singapore working and I was only just extricating myself from another marriage. I took her hormonal urge to mean that maybe at some point we would have children. Little did I know the power of that female instinct. It was probably about a month later that Elizabeth did a pregnancy test in my office bathroom, which gave an indication that Hannah would be coming into our l...

Top Sheep Shearers on Health Kick
2008-03-23 20:48:00
The image of one of Australias toughest jobs is changing.He occasionally wears a blue singlet and does one of the hardest jobs in the country, but the 32-year-old father of four has little else in common with the roistering, booze-swilling, bare-knuckle brawlers of outback legend such as Jack Foley, the shearer played by Jack Thompson in Sunday Too Far Away. Mr Ferguson, who has spent the past two weeks shearing at Habnarey station, near Lightning Ridge in northern NSW, belongs to a new breed of Australian shearers who are well-paid, professional in their attitude and more interested in keeping fit than tying one on every Friday and Saturday night. "The old generations have given the young generation a bad name in a way, because a lot of people think shearers are nothin' but alcoholics," the third-generation shearer from Surat in southern Queensland tells The Australian.Watching these guys at the country shows, I am full of admiration. Tough hot work.
More About: Health , Sheep , Kick

Photo Hunt: Metal
2008-03-21 21:52:00
This is our new fence that we had installed recently. All metal.photohunt
More About: Photo , Metal , Hunt

We've all had moments like this
2008-03-21 15:32:00
Perhaps not in such a public spotlight. May the ground swallow me up now.The look on the guys face is priceless. Public Humiliation Tour de Farce.Thanks Cellobella
More About: Moments

What do your eyes say
2008-03-21 03:47:00
Your eyes are the windows to your soul. What type of eyes do you have?CLOSED EYESYou have Closed Eyes !Positive Traits: Intelligent, Creative, Imaginative, Loyal, HonourableNegative Traits: Depressed, Withdrawn, Pessimistic, Fatalistic, AvoidantTake this quiz!Quizilla | I have tried iridology and my major traits are that I have a very robust constitution, which is true. I am very rarely sick. I am not sure it would pick up pyschological traits. I think that this result is fair.When I was in Primary School, I can remember this from bullying classmates. "Blue Eyes True Eyes Green Eyes Tell Lies"I have green eyes. Kids can be so cruel.Thanks JMB Hope your cruise is going well.