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Bored
2007-03-21 02:00:00
I think I'm at the point in my life where I'm absolutely bored of everything and I'm dying for some sort of change. Everything I do seems to be for the purpose of completing a task or living up to a commitment. Nothing seems fun and shocking. I need to go out and see the world; meet some new weirdos that I have yet to get used to their weirdness and away from people who already have expecations of who I am. I want to hear music from another land, inspire new people and in turn, be inspired by their differences. I need to get away from this similarity in my life that seems to blend one day into the next. For once, I want to wake up in the morning and not know what's going to happen throughout the day.Argh, I need a vacation or a drink.Maybe both would be nice.
More About: Bored

From Me To You
2007-03-19 01:23:00
Me.I stand with my white jacket stained,School bag on my back.I am muddled, confused, and lost.I tell you, I need an excuse to arrive late.You promise to stay.You, a crown of forbidden glory on your head,Heart humble on your sleeve.Voice deep like a man's,Laughs coming easily like a boy's.I call out and you reply.Words flow out like a stream,We turn a block from school.I laugh and you smile,Another corner in the path.I whisper goodbye,You smile and wave.As I walk away;Away from your scent,Away from your voice,Away from your heart.I find myself melting,Melting into,You.

Unbelievably Lost and Confused
2007-03-16 02:02:00
I have no idea what I'm doing with my life right now, I feel so confused and lost. It seems like lately, I've been changing my life in a decisive and dramatic fashion. I've had my eyes set on such impossible and bizzare goals. At the same time, I question whether or not I'm making the right decision. Am I screwing things up rather than changing my life for better? I quit the Ultimate Frisbee team because it took me two years to realize that I never liked the sport in the first place. What I liked about it was the feeling of togetherness when I played side by side with my team members and the feeling that I belonged. I only joined in the first place because my friends joined and I didn't want to feel left out. I remembered in grade eight when they all joined the Library Club and it seemed too boring for me so I didn't join. I ended up sitting alone by my locker whenever they had meetings; I didn't want a repeat of the same events with Ultimate. So for two years, I spent ev...
More About: Lost

Theatre Company Woes
2007-03-14 01:49:00
I've never really quite understood why the world of celebrities always seemed to be filled with assorted scandals until recently. I was a drama student ever since I entered high school. Even before that, I always enjoyed giving oral presentations and being on stage for a few moments in an assembly or a small scale play. I love acting, it gives me a chance to be someone else for a period of time on stage. The first time I was in a large scale school play, I felt like I was the one tht held the audience's attention, in the spotlight, they only had eyes for me. It was a feeling of triumph, ecstasy, and power like no other. Afterwards, people came up to me and told me I did a good job and that it felt cool to see someone they knew on stage. I auditioned for the Thea tre Compa ny at my school, the drama class that produces the large production plays and is made up of the best actors in the entire school. I got in and for most of the year, it was a good experience. I had the chance to me...

Siege
2007-03-13 02:42:00
I've been hacked, both my computer and msn account was hacked yesterday. I feel like I'm in one of those historical fiction novels where the city is sieged and the enemy has finally broken though. A year and a half ago, I wouldn't have cared too much if anybody hacked into my msn account or computer, but now I've got fanfic. As much as I would like to just walk into school tommorow and tell everyone what I do in my spare time, to be honest, I don't have the guts to do it. There are people like my friends who I know will support me, and by friends, I mean the actual friends that I've known for years who've stuck by me, not the casual accquaintance "friends". I know there will be people who will whisper and hate me just simply for being who I am. I admit that I'm a coward and I will never have the strength to speak my mind in front of a crowd. I used to have a blog on Xanga but I stopped going on. I had to censor everything I put on it because I knew that people would read it ...

A Whole Bunch Of Things That Make No Sense
2006-10-09 02:55:00
When everything seems to swirl and you're absolutely sure you haven't taken drugs or consumed any alcohol, you know that something's wrong. Just what is the foothold that you stand on when you climb the big mountain of life? No matter which way you step, no niche in the rocks will ever feel comfortable for your feet. No matter how strong the rocks look, its always crumbled by what people seem to see as the weakest elements; water, wind, sand. I suppose over the years I've learned that pleasing people isn't going to make me happy. As humans, its impossible to become satisfied and you'll always demand more. I guess I always hold back just a little so there's always space to back out of relationships, don't get too attatched. But sometimes, it seems like there are some threads that are impossible to sever. What I've wanted all along still hasn't changed no matter what I tell myself.I love to hate desire.No, that doesn't make sense, does it?No, I don't give a damn.Yes, that...
More About: Sense , Make , Things , That , Ense

My Adventure in the Self Help Section
2006-08-10 02:40:00
So the other day I was in Chapters and I walked past the Self Help book section, I was pissed off and felt slightly depressed for no apparent reason other than I couldn't sleep very much for the entire week and was really tired, so I figured, maybe I should read some books "that will help me help myself."I found the book titles really weird, almost no creativity needed. It was good in a way that everything was simple, the book is what the title says it is. Its not like books in any other genre where they have weird titles that have you wondering what they're about. I mean there's all these "How to be Happy," "Ten Steps To a More Successful Life," as I read these titles, I wondered if the authors actually used their own advice. I mean, would they really go and talk to people they hated and resolve the conflict? Its like those advice columns in magazines, the only advice they usually give is for you to talk to the person, but the thing is if the person who needed advice could actu...
More About: Adventure , Self help , Section , Vent

Bumblebee
2006-07-24 20:16:00
I know that bees are good insects (or is it bugs? I can't remember how to tell the difference), they spread pollen to help plants reproduce and they produce honey (well some types do), but last night, I was forced to kill one. Yes, I know I'm a murderer, I'm cruel, I'm coldblooded, etc. But I have a good excuse. Last night, at about eleven o'clock at night, I just finished watching one of my DVDs and was about to go to sleep when I heard a buzzing noise coming from near the window. I turned and saw a huge bee on the wall next to the window. It was about 3.5 cm long and I could clearly see the parts of its body with the head, the stripes, etc. And it was just buzzing like crazy, flying around my room, and finally deciding to attatch itself to my curtains. (my curtains have a flower print on them) My parents already went to sleep, I considered waking them up for help, but I knew that they would keep saying how cowardly I am and how I should be more independant and saying how woul...
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Heat and Insomnia
2006-07-24 00:11:00
For the past few days, the temperature has been around thirty degrees celsius. For me, that is total hell. Cold is easy to face, just put on some extra clothes or get an extra blanket at night, but there is only so much you can do to face the heat. I mean, I'm melting even if I sleep naked and I can't even do that because I live with my parents and I don't think its a great idea if my dad suddenly decides to check on me while I'm sleeping just for the heck of it and I'm lying there with no clothes on. Too add to the misery, I sleep on a pillow top mattress, which feels great during the winter, but just not that great during the summer. Oh oops, I forgot to mention, I have no air conditioning in my apartment. I have two fans, but the wind is warm...so not much help. Actually one is right next to me right now and is currently scattering papers across my desk with the wind as I'm typing this. I haven't been able to sleep for more than four to five hours since the temperature sta...
More About: Heat , Insomnia , Omni

Pirates of the Caribbean 2
2006-07-23 01:51:00
I finally watched the movie today, Pirates of the Caribbean : Dead Man's Chest. I waited for awhile and today, on impulse, I decided to go alone, something that I've never done before. Anyways, back to the movie...I must say that Johnny Depp was brilliant as Jack Sparrow, he had the charm and the humour to bring out the character. Almost all the humour came from his character and his acting is great. He managed to make Jack humorous, cowardly, but a captain at the same time. Keira Knightly and Orlando Bloom were kind of bland. I mean, their acting was alright but it was just overshadowed by Johnny Depp. The story itself wasn't as good as the first one but the special effects were much better.But I think I'll still watch the third one when it comes out. (yes, I admit, Orlando Bloom is one of the reasons)
More About: Pirates of the Caribbean , Rates , Rate

Leather Wallets
2006-07-21 20:06:00
For some reason, I have a sudden desire to buy a tan-coloured leather wallet. I have a couple of wallets at home and all of them are in good condition and everything but I suddenly feel like I need a 'grown-up' wallet. Not one of those 'trendy' wallets, but the ones that, in my imagination, a successful, beautiful woman would take out of her bag to pay for a coffee at Starbucks in the morning before heading to work. It will be a high quality wallet, genuine leather. I know it sounds disgusting that I'm using animal skin as an accessory, but leather comes from bulls, which are killed for their meat anyways, so making use of the animal and using their skin wouldn't be cruel like using fur, because with fur, the animal is killed for the sole purpose of its skin.I've always wondered one thing about guys. Whereas girls have lots and lots of wallets, guys buy one wallet, always black leather, and that's the only one they'll ever get. My dad uses a black leather wallet and all the...
More About: Wall , Leather , Wallet

Fanfiction Confusion
2006-07-20 19:28:00
I don't normally discuss fanfiction outside the forums on the site, simply because I think I obsess about it enough normally that I don't need to obsess anymore on my blog, but today, its not about my obsession, its more about what I want to do with writing.When I first discovered fanfiction last year, it felt like there was this whole new world of people and stories out there. It was new, refreshing, different. In the beginning, I was just reading and I thought: I want to be like these fanfiction authors, I want to get reviews, I want to write a great story. So I finally got an idea and the guts to write my first chapter and I sent it in at the end of August. It was my first submission, I felt that if it got validated, I would be happy. It got validated, I felt that if I got hits, I would be happy. I got thirty hits on the first day, which I felt was alright, it was my first chapter with only about 800 words and no banner. Then I wanted reviews, I got two reviews in the first wee...
More About: Confusion , Sion , Fanfic

Spelling Problems
2006-07-18 22:47:00
You know what's really sad? School's been out for about two weeks and I'm already losing my ability to spell. The other day, I couldn't remember how to spell 'blonde'. Is that sad or what? I kept on thinking, "is it 'blond' or 'blonde'?" I'm getting the French and English spellings all mixed up. This is what happens when you take a second language that has similar English words.Thank God for spell check.
More About: Problems , Problem , Spelling , Spell

Emotional Eating
2006-07-17 21:50:00
Last night, when I was watching The Sixth Sense on TV, I discovered that I have an emotional eating problem. The movie wasn't about food or eating disorders so I have to explain myself a little bit here. First of all, I was a little bit freaked out when I was watching it about half way through, since it was at night and I was the only one up. I know it isn't a scary movie, but I'm not that great with horror films and the part of the movie where you start seeing it through the little boy's eyes and these dead people were hanging over the doorframe, I just started getting freaked out. So I got some cashews and started eating and watching. For some reason, when I was eating, I didn't feel as freaked out. The music, the mood just didn't seem as creepy. But when I stopped, the movie started creeping me out again.So as you can see, I discovered that I eat when I'm scared and it makes me feel better.By the way, I kept on watching the movie even after I stopped eating the cashews and...
More About: Motion , Eating , Emotion , Emotional

Careers...
2006-07-16 23:45:00
I finally found out what an epidemiologist is. Apparently, its someone that researches on health risks and how to prevent them and investigates the roots of epidemics. It sounds like an extremely stressful and scienceish job that I'm not that interested in. I don't really know why, its not that I suck really bad at science or I really hate the subject but to me, science always seems cold, icy, I like history better. I like learning about how people used to live and how society evolved from prehistoric times to our modern society. Its just the type of thing that interests me more. Yet, my top choice after answering over a hundred questions is a science based career....Anyways, I've listed below all the careers I have ever considered taking from the time in kindergarten up until present day:Author- I've always loved reading and I like to write. It seems nice to be able to get paid just to write stories and I want to see a book written by me sitting on my bookshelf. Ahhh that would...
More About: Careers

What I Wanna Be When I Grow Up
2006-07-16 03:41:00
This seems like one of those topics that have been talked to death from the moment you enter kindergarten to when you graduate from university. Anyways, I went to this website that I got from CAPP and after doing this very lengthy quiz (more like a test), I got these results:1. Epidemiologist2. Historian3. Researcher4. Criminologist5. Market Research Analyst6. Economist7. Announcer8. Public Policy Analyst 9. Genetic Counsellor10. Writer11. Activist12. Lobbyist13. Translator14. Director of Photography15. Arts Administrator16. Website Designer17. Interpreter18. Art Director19. Anthropologist20. Political Aide21. Print Journalist22. Comedian23. Actor24. Technical Writer25. Public Relations Specialist26. Television and Radio Reporter27. Sign Language Interpreter28.Communications Specialist29.Mediator30.Critic31.Biologis t32.Motivational Speaker33.Special Effects Technician34.Artist35. Photographer36.Inventor37.Marketing Specialist38.Politician39.Corporate Trainer40.Professor Also, appare...
More About: Anna , When , Grow

World Cup 2006 Finals
2006-07-10 00:32:00
This is my last World Cup post, I promise.Italian Victory! 5-3 on Penalty Shots!!!Ah, World Cup 2006 has finally come to an end with the Italians bringing home the cup for the fourth time. The match today wasn't that spectacular, there was so much stoppage and after about eighty minutes, all the players looked really wiped out. First two minutes in and Henry already gets a head injury by colliding with some Italian player and that stopped the game for like three minutes. A few minutes later, a foul to a French player occurs in the penalty area and France gets a penalty shot with a leading goal seven minutes into the game. Then at about nineteen minutes, Materazzi scores for Italy, bringing the game to a tie. During second half, its mostly a lot of 'almost' shots, but nothing in the goal. Extra time had to be played and at about 111 minutes Zidaine suddenly butts Materazzi in the chest and was sent off by the referee with a red card. When I saw that I was like "WTF?" what just hap...
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Faking Open Mindedness
2006-07-08 23:49:00
You know, here in North America, we're supposed to be embracing differences and all opened minded and everything, but I can tell you that we're just faking it. If we're so open minded then why did a movie like Brokeback Mountain generate more publicity than all the other Academy Award Nominees combined? Why would a movie like that get banned in several states in the US? Supposingly the leader in the Free World countries? Why is it accepted for a woman to stay at home and take care of her family after she's married but not for a man? Why would a woman be considered irresponsible if she decides to choose career over family but if a man did the same he would be considered amibitious? Even Canada, its in the consitution that you can do anything as long as it doesn't hurt anyone. Yet, churches are banning gay marriages and polygamy is still being practiced certain parts of British Columbia. The most ironic thing about the polygamy is its practiced by a Christain community. Doesn't ...
More About: Open , King , Ness

Wash Away
2006-07-02 23:05:00
Scarlet, crimson;ivory, onyx;thunder, heartbeat;river, ripple;ice, fire;caress, devour;feel my breath on your neck,your soul on my skin,let it all wash away...
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Favourite Soccer Player
2006-06-30 20:28:00
Yes, this is another World Cup post. My new favourite soccer player is not Beckam, Ronaldo, or Figo, its Michael Ballack, Captain of the German World Cup Soccer team. He has good endurance, leadership skills, strategy, and of course, the fact that he's cute is one of the positive attributes. Has anyone noticed that he kind of looks like Brad Pitt?
More About: Player , Layer

Just For Laughs
2006-06-27 20:20:00
After all those depressing posts, I've decided to cheer up a bit and post some funny things I've discovered. By the way, I didn't make any of these up, I'm just posting them.OscarsJoan Rivers: (at the red carpet) I haven't seen so many breasts in one place since Kentucky Fried Chicken!The SimpsonsBart: Fine, lets climb down, but don't touch my hand, you're gay.Todd: What does gay mean?Bart: Uh...It means that you used to be scared but you're not scared anymore.Todd: Daddy, daddy! Look! I'm gay! I'm gay! Mrs. Simpson made me gay!How to tell your parents about your report cardDear Mom, I'm really sorry that you're reading this right now and I have to tell you that I ran away from home. I'm with my boyfriend, Rob, who is absolutely gorgeous and covered from head to toe with tatoos and body piercings. I'm pregnant with his child, but don't worry about me! Rob's got a trailer in the outskirts of the city and we're living there together. We have some great neighbours...
More About: Laugh

World Cup 2006
2006-06-23 21:18:00
Those of you who don't watch World Cup can skip this post.Anyways, I'm one of those people who don't watch soccer unless its World Cup and pretty much know nothing about the rules, but once every four years, I am, like all the sweaty jersey-wearing, face-painting, cheering soccer fans that can't afford to go to the hosting country; parked in front of the TV for the games when they come on. I know what you must be thinking, that as a girl, I only watch World Cup to check out cute soccer players and ogle at their chests when they take off their jerseys at the end of the match to trade. Okay, I admit it, that is partially true, but what I like most about watching the games is seeing the excitement of the fans and watching the strategy of gameplay used by the players. There's also something about watching the ball go into the goal, the sudden increase of your heartbeat, you hold your breath, you watch Ronaldo (or Beckam, Ronaldhino, Figo, etc.) focus on the goal, lift his leg up an...
More About: World Cup 2006

Yes, I am a nerd.
2006-06-21 02:21:00
Yes, I am a nerd. I will admit it right now, right here. Yes, I chain-read the way smokers chain-smoke. My favourite class isn't P.E. or art, its Social Studies. I read the newspaper every morning as I ride the bus to school. I know what the gas prices are today. And yes, I'd rather spend more time reading than coordinating my outfits. But of course, in the world of high school, only beautiful people are respected. Yes, teen movie chick flicks are lying. I can pretty much tell you that at least 75% of the male population in high school go for skinny girls with big boobs and pretty faces. The remaining 25% go for the athletic type or the extremely smart type and most of us do not fulfill either category. Which I think is a reason why chick flicks always make so much money, every ordinary girl wants to be the leading actress in the movie. But one thing's for sure, in fifteen years, all us 'nerds' and 'normlies' will be the ones walking in downtown with Gucci and Prada bought wi...
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Victim of Advertisment
2006-06-20 00:00:00
Okay, I will now tell you something I did the other day that leaves me feeling incredibly stupid. So the other day, I went shopping for conditioner since I ran out and I was browsing through all the shelves and looking at all the prices. Nothing was on sale but one particular bottle caught my eye (left). Now it wasn't on sale or anything, in fact, I paid seven dollars for this when I could have bought Pantene Pro-V conditioner for half the price. So what made me change my mind? This article floating around the back of my mind that I must have read at least a year ago:You can't really see it in the picture but its Jessica Simpson saying that "Paves has restored her hair and it contains the same stuff as the expensive products, but its cheap. (by the way, to us normal consumers, that is not cheap). Conciously, I can tell you that in no way do I admire Jessica Simpson or want to be like her. I mean, come on, I'm not saying that having morals isn't good, but you don't have to go ar...
More About: Smen , Advert , Advertisment , Victim , Vert