Mama Milton

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a day of rest
2008-05-01 20:05:00
I am the queen of denial. The hayfever I thought was raging yesterday, was really just a cold, in disguise.(My brain cells have been expelled, via my nose.)I'm going to try a mustard bath, and take a nap, and read a pile of magazines from the library.(I've got a full weekend ahead; I need to feel better lickety split. No pressure.)I'll come a knockin', soon. I promise.
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I said get dressed
2008-04-30 17:56:00
This is what happens when you disobey your mother with a blog; she is liable to snap pictures of you when you least expect it.(Yes, for heaven's sake, I cropped it. I love the horrified look on her face as I pulled out my camera, to punctuate my point. *We need to leave in 5 minutes.* Like I'd post the whole thing. Geez.)My parenting techniques are going to cost me someday - I'm thinking therapy - but we were on time. (Wordless Wednesday; I wanna play.)

the one where I wander aimlessly around a parking lot
2008-04-29 18:19:00
Parking my car takes great effort. (Don't even ask me to parallel park. I think Lisa, age 16, knew how to do things like that. I promptly forgot.)Parking takes deliberate effort because I am scatterbrained and prone to wandering. I park, deep in thought, and shop in my stupor, getting what's on my list but really, I'm working out plot points in my novel that would so like to be.I step out the door and come to. I have no idea where I parked, and I stumble about, my cart full of milk and bananas and graham crackers, old before my years.I justify my dementia, as I circle the lot, trying to land. Writers can be preoccupied; it's just an occupational hazard.And I catch a glimpse, a flash really, of Stephen King, from the corner of my eye. He shrugs, shaking his head, sitting in judgment.I glower and under my breath: "Yes, I know thinking about writing really doesn't count." He hears me, like only Stephen can, telepathically. He remains unconvinced, but I'm convicted.I find my car, ...
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blog me like I have one of those twitter things
2008-04-28 20:04:00
Messy house, happy heart - still no post. *racking brain* nowJazzercise instructor has 20 years on me, and STILL manages to bring me thisclose to death. Sweet - we're doing the Charleston - death. 2 hours agoReturning car seat to my sister and tickling nephews. Taking abuse. They call me Aunt 'Stinky' and I haven't even worked out yet. 3 hours agoI woke up sure I wrote the perfect sentence in my sleep. I can't remember it. Drat! about 5 hours agoStephanie and I are headed downtown, after she points out her crush at the grocery store. Then it's off to Powell's, a movie and early dinner. 1 day agoI'm took the kids out to Grandma Jean's estate sale. My family is there. Austin, Zack, Lexi and I walk down to the creek, where Lori and I used to play. I'm flooded with memories. 1 day agoWe're strapping on some shoes and make fools of ourselves, bowling of all things. Dignified, fun-loving fools. Go out for Chinese food. 2 days agoWalking to the new dog park. The kids throw Frisb...
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stellar parenting moments
2008-04-25 15:00:00
Greg is in Vegasbaby, all week. He calls me from casinos and dinner parties and down crowded hallways and we catch up for a few minutes before he is called away. It's his company's worldwide sales convention and it's quite a production.Everything here is the same: Bland, but not boring. The kids have broken the bickering barrier, in high pitch tones I'm certain only sea monkey ears can register.I have reasoned and Loved & Logicked and ignored certain behaviors and doled out consequences. Nothing seemed to take the edge off.Zack wants to sing 'Head & Shoulders' in French, again, and Lexi wants to play 'When the Saints Come Marching In' on her recorder, again, but if I am not facing them, simultaneously, thoroughly taking in this unholy round, then they begin growling, at each other. Reprimanding the other for interrupting. Growling, to get my attention.Real, true, I AM YETI growling.So, I did what every seasoned mother would do; I yelled.I yelled something ridiculous ...
More About: Parenting , Moments

*jazz hands*
2008-04-24 23:03:00
Once upon a time, in the not so distant past, Mama Milton liked Jazz ercise. Strike that: She loved Jazzercise. She had loved it since its inception, when Judi Sheppard Missett pranced around in bare feet to Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy.She took classes in high school. She took classes in college. She dragged invited friends and begged boyfriends to come to class. And they did, and tolerated her obsession.A couple of years back, while wearing sensible workout attire - this isn't a hoedown, Ms. Jessie - she injured her knee and had to quit. For a while. Then she was diagnosed with sjogren's syndrome and her doctor lowered the boom: No more dance, no more Jazzercise.And she grew, well, fluffy.At least she had a tiara. Thanks, Stephanie.She's been walking a lot lately, doing yoga and weaning off Prednisone and frankly, she hasn't seeing much change in her fluffihood.She started missing Jazzercise. Terribly. So she got the nod from her doctor, and found a new studio, minutes away.She came...
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cue the beastie boys
2008-04-23 15:43:00
I put the buttons on the table and passed out the gloves; the rest was crafty magic. I think I need to invite this kind of creativity, and mess, again. The kids are still talking about it. {It's Wordless Wednesday, yo.}
More About: Beastie Boys , Boys

I was poised to write something else, but then my eyes rolled out of my hea
2008-04-22 17:38:00
I woke up in a mighty good mood, that is, until I caught a segment on GMA, between my morning coffee and my morning monologues, delivered by two chatty offspring.(Today's topics: Bedroom Design for Girls Who Have Outgrown Princess Pink for Heaven's Sake and How Lego Star Wars Transformed my Life in Six Easy Steps.)Juju Chang, with her shiny hair and sweet 5 month old baby boy, introduced the LENA system. A system designed to send moms right over the edge and into a therapist's office to count how many words you say to your child, during the first three years of life. Yes, for a mere $400, you too can place a pager-like monitor on your baby, to track your wordcount on your PC every night.The makers of the LENA device claim that babies need to hear 17,000 words a day - any ol' talking will do - for you to CREATE YOUR VERY OWN PRODIGY their wee little brains to develop and as an added bonus feature, you can also track their babbling and create bar graphs to compare junior to his pe...
More About: Eyes , Write

why I stopped at two
2008-04-21 16:22:00
I don't care what Jack Johnson says. Three is CLEARLY not a magic number.By just adding one little noggin, the fighting increases exponentially.1 sister + 1 brother + 1 good family friend = Evil Tag Teaming and Bickering Galore.I'll admit: There were some sweet moments of quiet, a couple of peace agreements brokered along the way.(And I'm happy to help out when my friends were out of town, really I am.)But that bus can't roll up fast enough for me. Scrubbing toilets and folding clothes all by my lonesome sounds divine.

time for a meme
2008-04-21 03:23:00
Erika & Tara tagged me, so I'm playing along...You can too, if it suits your fancy.What was I doing, 10 years ago:Exactly ten years ago? I was returning from a trip to Portland, to visit family, with Cristi and a 3 week old Alexis. I lived in Southern Oregon at the time and I nearly had a panic attack, going on a 5 hour drive with a newborn. In the following weeks, I was dealt a double whammy: Postpartum depression - before it was the hip thing to have - and a colicky baby. Wait! Maybe the depression was brought on by the 5 hour crying jags...By summer, my depression lifted and Lexi stopped howling. We split our time between Lithia park and our air-conditioned house on what I remember to be a very hot summer.Five snacks I enjoy:Thai Kettle chipsEarl Grey Tea, with raw sugarStrawberriesGinger beerPicklesThings I would do if I was a billionaire:I really wouldn't live all that differently. Selfishly, I would travel more and go back to school. (I'm nerdy like that.) Beyond that, ...
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flurry
2008-04-20 05:06:00
A little snow outside...A little alternative medicine...(run, puppy, run)A little rough-housing...We are never bored.

Mamma Mia! It's a contest!
2008-04-18 16:41:00
Get out your bell bottoms and strike a pose. You and two friends could be headed to London for the Mamma Mia ! premiere.Need details? Of course you do. Head straight over this way, to learn more about Pond's Search for the Dynamos.
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chop chop
2008-04-17 19:50:00
Spring is here and it's time for some chh chh chhanges...A sophisticated layered look for my girl and a swing-y bob for her mama.Notice the polka dotted jammie bottoms. Getting completely dressed is hard...*****And Stephanie gave me something extra sparkly to go with my new look. You like?I'm passing my sceptor to some other fabulous ladies: My sister, Lori, has been known to like shiny things. This one's for you. Next up: Erika - she inspires me with her strength and humor while fighting JRA for her 2 year-old, Tottie. And for Melanie - that woman is talented; one of the best writers in blogland.*****One more thing: I updated Much to My Sjogren too. Poor neglected thing...

bittersweet
2008-04-16 16:48:00
I've been in a dour mood since we got back.I'm sure it's just the post-vacation blues.(At least I didn't cry the entire flight back like some people (Lexi) I know. That would have been awkward.)After a warm sunny weekend, the rain and hail returned and with it, a dead rabbit washed up in the ditch, next to our driveway. Oh the wailing.When the temperatures dived, the dirty heaters came on and set off the fire alarm at 3 am. Oh the shaking.So after I contacted the county to pick up the misidentified piglet/bunny - should I call the eye doctor too? - I cleaned all the heaters because they are calling for hail and snow this weekend.Blech.(Aren't you glad you stopped by?)But it's Greg's absence that weighs on my heart.Both kids spontaneously started sporting bandannas this week, to look like Daddy. Every moment seems to be followed with, "I can't wait to show/tell Daddy about this."Our vacation brought us closer together, and made the gap more painful now that we are back to...
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the beatings will continue until morale improves*
2008-04-14 20:40:00
1, 2, 3, testing. Testing. Is this thing on?It's been over a week since my last post and well, what do you know? I didn't even lapse into the fetal position, being away from my laptop.(Cue the choir. I had my doubts...)We are home and well and rested. I've got some stories to share, but for now it's enough to post some pictures and be glad that we got away, and we spent some downtime together. (And by downtime I mean sprinting through both parks, putting in some serious mileage.) Anything else I write is going to be sappy, because my kids? They haved missed their Dad something fierce this year, with all the time he has been away. That goes double for me.It was time well spent.*Back of Greg's new Pirates of the Carribbean shirt.
More About: Morale

bring on the mouse
2008-04-05 20:25:00
The last few weeks have worn me out. I think a change of scenery might be in order...We're off to Disneyland in the morning - a first as a family. Away from our cell phones (I'm looking at you Greg), blogs (what?), rabbits and video games.I can hardly wait.(I hope to be back by soon, refreshed. Or at least exhausted in a good way.)Caio
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spring break, supermom (yeah right)
2008-04-04 17:30:00
I got my comeuppance yesterday; me Ms. Smug 'I don't over schedule my kids Mom'. It's spring break and I've been feeling antsy. I'm finally feeling better and I've had it with washing sheets and scrubbing heads. I wanted to break freeeeee.(That makes me think of Scamp in Lady & the Tramp 2. Yes, I have seen it many times, back when Uncle Cam bought it for Lexi's second birthday. Scott Wolf plays the rascally little offspring, yapping about not wanting to be a kept dog 'cause he wants to be wild and free.... See also: Little Mermaid 2. Not a second generation Disney character appreciates what they have, the ingrates.)So, we've made day trips, and play dates, and went to the park, and watched movies late at night with popcorn with melted butter. I was rocking spring break.We came to Thursday and on the agenda: house chores, Borders, picnic lunch at Washington park and then touring the Japanese gardens.Now any one of these events would be lovely and I know my girl in part...
More About: Break , Spring , Yeah , Spring break

end of the trail
2008-04-02 17:30:00
We took a trip to Oregon City - where I was born - to see the Bound for Oregon exhibit at the End of the Oregon Trail historic site, where we learned about buffalo chips (not for munching).Those pioneer women were solid I tell you. One woman spent months, walking 2000 miles to an unknown land, feeding and caring for eight kids AND still found the time, while her party slept, to light a candle and write. That put a smile on my face.{Here's the rest of the set. And Wordless Wednesday for those who can hold their tongue.)

my kind of health care
2008-04-02 01:27:00
According to sources, Ms. Milton has a thing for grouchy doctors. Oh sure, she says she likes kind physicians with bedside manners, but her TV habits beg to differ.(First do no harm, Dr. House. I need you back on the air.) During the writer's strike, she took to a new set of doctors in syndication, a little something to amuse her while she throws together dinner.Those interns? Cute pack of pups. But we all know who she'd fall for... Grouchy. Snappy comebacks. Smart. Heart of gold. Just how she likes her imaginary MDs. (And Mama has decent taste. Johnny C. was the 2007 National Buddy Walk Spokesperson, supporting his son and showing some class.)
More About: Health , Health Care , Care

day of rest
2008-03-31 18:24:00
I heard the door brush open, before sunrise. I could feel little eyes peering in, watching me. And though I desperately wanted to stay put, I braced myself for the day, like any other morning.Then the door closed again and I woke up after eight.I came down the stairs and there they were, painting window catchers, laughing and carrying on. Those early morning hours were followed by the customary sibling dissension; it was short lived.But getting to sleep in, well, that was a treat - sweet, sweet Sabbath.
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how I became to be mama milton; one decade later
2008-03-29 23:16:00
You came into the world, tardy and a bit cantankerous. Those first few weeks were tough; you seemed misinformed. I kept waiting for you to sleep more, like the books said, but instead you focused your energies on your colicky endeavors, proving that you could too howl from 2 -7 pm, everyday.(Mama Milton was born and she was afraid for her sanity.)Then one day, you stopped screaming. There was a transformation. First art exhibit, Portland - 7I don't know how we lucked out; you are such a good kid. Yes, you are prone to tears over imaginary bunnies accidentally left on the bus. Yes, you are high octane emotional, but I know it's because you were born with such a big heart. I've watched you bend yourself into a pretzel, giving someone the benefit of the doubt. Not everyone in the world is so generous, so I worry about you; sometimes I wish you were a little grittier.But then I remember when you were six and you saw a feature on TV about Locks of Love and cried until I promised to co...

is it Friday yet?
2008-03-27 23:35:00
We are limping towards the weekend - it's been quite a week. This is Greg's year end which means he works late into the night, out of town and he's been preoccupied and stressed while I've been Sickypants/Ms. Nit Seeker.And now, he's coming down with something and he feels unable to leave work until he sees it all through; he's got families besides our own counting on him. (He has stellar work ethics...)So, I think I might not be by for a few days, until I catch my breath and then resuscitate the troops.My family's weary.
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right down to the real nitty gritty
2008-03-27 01:35:00
I was writing a post last night, with real words and no pictures of my kids when my daughter complained, again, that her head itches. She of the allergies, she of the eczema - I paid her no mind.She sat, making frumpy faces at me until I took her upstairs to my bathroom to inspect the rash.Oh. My. Louse. Was I in for a surprise. I cringed and fretted and felt like such a bum when I realized my sweet girl had lice. I'm still cringing.She was a trooper today, reassuring me that her body book explained what was happening, while I vacuumed, and washed mountains of laundry.(Paranoia, big destroyer.)I washed her new Pat the Bunny and sent the other 467 stuffed animals in her bed on a little vacation, by way of Hefty Hefty Hefty.I expected her to cry and carry on. (Oh, wait. That was me.) Instead she drank her tea, watched her Buffy and even did some homework while I spent four hours grooming her very thick hair.I'm still mortified, to be sure, and I thought about keeping this litt...
More About: Real

seven
2008-03-24 21:04:00
Seems like just yesterday, you wee little bitty.A two year-old, in the unexpected snow. You didn't talk much; well, you couldn't talk at all. But those eyes, and that smile - I always wondered what was going on in there...Tree pose. You loved doing yoga with me when you were in preschool. Zack's 4th birthday.Zack and Greg, last yearAnd now you are seven, bright and funny and well-liked by your classmates. Sweet with babies. Kind. Organized. Good with numbers. Quirky. Gentle. So happy birthday, Bubby. Thanks for making our lives so sweet. Love, Mama

happy easter
2008-03-24 02:41:00
See how tall she is? This was her first dry Easter egg hunt. No mud pit this time out. Hark! It's the sun.(I think she preferred the ferret.)
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little help from my friends
2008-03-22 23:14:00
Jen stopped by Thursday with Magic Soup - mercy how I love Pho - to cheer me back to good health, along with these:Aren't they cheery? (And don't forget a trash magazine because nothing makes me chuckle-cough better than those pictures of J Lo and Co, sporting heels and posed with her beautiful babies. They look like they are in some 1950s ad campaign.) Danke!
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speechless
2008-03-21 18:22:00
Good Friday is here, and my fever is gone. I am so thankful - congested, but thankful. Soon I'll be hurling my beleaguered self to IKEA for birthday goodies for two worthy kids and picking up groceries to whip up some carrot cake cupcakes. I'm jacked up on tea and hoping to catch up a little today.But my heart is heavy for two families at my church: One family lost their infant son, here too early and gone an hour later. Two other bitty kids lost their mother, dead in her sleep at 26. 26.I'm sitting here with stationary, not knowing what to say. I just don't know.And as I fret to get it right - on paper, for Easter, for their birthdays - my life feels so full. I get to raise my children, even when they make me nuts.Busy never felt so good.
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lenten update and six words
2008-03-20 14:15:00
I was feeling smug about my lack of yelling/screeching during lent - and considering taking on my smug attitude next - when I blew it Wednesday.So much for the thoughtful post about letting go of my anger.(I tried, Yoda, I tried.)I have noticed a change in myself, that losing my temper and raising my voice has become indulgent, a habit I could put down, with a little effort so it was worth working on.However. I pulled myself out of bed yesterday, dizzy and feverish to let my kids in after school and pounded the Motrin so I could manage until Greg returned from his trip when both kids launched into bickering over their Annie's Bernie Os. And then they started hitting each other.I said, quietly - not because of my peaceful, spiritual state, but because I have Flu Throat, sore beyond words - to please stop. To get along. To keep their hands to themselves.But my patience wavered and I gestured them to their rooms, laryngitis making my promise impossible to break. My attitude sucked, t...
More About: Words , Update

lucky
2008-03-19 17:02:00
I'm looking over her four-leaf clover.wordless wednesday
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it's all in my head, it's all in my head
2008-03-18 20:17:00
I woke up several times last night, with a sore throat I kept dismissing as allergies. Or dryness. Because I am all about denial.I'm teetering folks, about to take The Flu Plunge.My Mama brain is doing the math:We are T-minus 5 days to Easter at my place, and then Zack's birthday followed by Lexi's. Can I recover, just in time? Yes, I sure hope so. But WHAT IF Zack gets it. That boy's been counting down since the day after Christmas for the big day....Do I a) Lysol every surface, between drool-infused napping? or b) Lick Zack's face, when he walks through the door, and get it over with?I think this means I've lost my mind, calculating weird sickness math.Maybe it's the fever...And please remind me not to sign the kids up for activities with strict attendance rules, while Greg is on the road.I'm not up for hard core mothering today.
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