Mama Milton

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a season
2010-02-05 17:25:00
Maybe I am over blogging. Sure, it's a worn out subject, but I've noticed many of my favorite writers have stopped updating their blogs or do so occasionally. I used to think - back when I posted daily; I was bubbling over with ideas - how ludicrous and sad it was, this giving up or in or whatever had crossed my mind at the time.I could write about the copious amounts of rum I drank to unclench my aching jaw after watching my friend sign divorce papers or couple skating with my husband last weekend, my heart full of gratitude, but when words come to mind these days, I spill them in short spurts on facebook; I let them brew, fiction fermenting.Sure, I'll still be here from time to time. I'll still stop by your place sometimes.But I'm letting myself off the hook, the guilt I feel when days, weeks pass and my blog collects dust.It feels good.
More About: Season

my court
2010-01-28 17:13:00
So the gym and I are giving it another go, and as a bonus, I am crazy sore.I know. I give up my time and energy and am rewarded with pain. Go figure.I run myself a hot bath this morning, curlers in hair and oatmeal in hand, feeling like Queen Time Manager, with a little side of Multitask - getting ready for work while assuaging all my achy parts.A few moments alone. It's nearly an Oprah-approved "ah!" moment or "me time" or what have you, when the dogs barge in, the one with the bulldozer head making way for the one with the bionic nose.They sit, tub side, while I try to eat my breakfast, surrounded by Bionicles, Jack Sparrow - Action Figure! - and several dinosaurs from Lexi's 2000 paleontologist phase, grateful for this messy life of mine, royalty in the rubble.

the road to December is paved with good intentions
2010-01-24 16:08:00
The prophetess Sheryl Crow speaks to me in my car. Before you meter out the measure of mockery such a silly sentence brings, hear me out.She might be on to something when she says: It's not having what you want, it's wanting whatcha got.It may not be said eloquently, but this embracing what we have seems to be the secret to contentment.(I wrote 'contempt' while telling the startled dog to stop barking. That may be another post.)Still I find myself irritable all week, loving most bits of my hectic schedule but frantic that I can't get to other things I want: writing, reading, making jewelry, having tea with friends.I'm reassessing my expectations and taking a long look at how to bring balance back into my world. Today, I feel calm, and able.I let you know how long that lasts.cool balancing rocks courtesy of Google images
More About: Good , Road

puppy love
2010-01-14 15:00:00
I never fancied myself to be a dog person. I live near Portland; I know of dog people. Dogs litter the streets, hitched up to tables. Dogs come to bars. Dogs are this way and that, and after being around my Show Dog/Breeder/Boarder Grandma, and I didn't have much use for the crazy.I dismissed it as such. Phooey.Until my husband weaseled his way through the deep recesses of my dark, dark heart, playing on my one weakness: Squishy faced dogs. Soon, we adopted Miss Courtney.Life was good with our shy little girl, and during the summer I started to love my trips to the dog park with my family. Me. The hesitant one. And when I suggested she would be happier with another dog in the mix, Greg - the unhesitating one - ran with it, and we adopted young Jake in August.Jake is a sweet boy, a Dug among dogs. He is ever present, ready to play, attentive.I find it funny that these two dogs have changed me so dramatically, when I thought I knew myself better. I guess I just didn't know what I wa...
More About: Love , Puppy

focus
2010-01-11 15:00:00
I promptly came down with something in the new year. It figures. It feels like a little joke, from the universe to me and My Big Plans.2010 and I feel passionate, motivated, excited. It is quite a gift, this momentum on the heels of a soul sucking bout of depression last fall.But being sick and needing sleep more than anything made it clear to me: I must write tangible goals down, on paper, and map out a plan while the spirit still moves me. Between naps, and neti pot and needles, administered by a skillful new friend.*What about you? I'm not talking about resolutions, though they are nice and all, but goals are what I yapping about. What do you hope to accomplish? This week, this month, this year?*More on my adventures in acupuncture soon.
More About: Focus

little something
2010-01-08 02:34:00
Did I ever tell you, Dear Diary, that I got a temporary job through the school district, as a Health Screening Assistant? Well I most surely did. I work with a team of funny, hard-working women, moving furniture and setting up screening stations, and training volunteers at a different school nearly every week.There are some bumps along the way, and some personality 'things' you run into when you are working with the public, but generally it's a great gig.I love it.Best of all, most days I work one-on-one with kids. Lots of kids.We screen hundreds of little eyes and ears each day, thousands a week, but when a child steps up and I look him in the eye and smile, it's really about that one set of eyes; that one child.One young girl walked up today, hair disheveled from recess and a warm spray of freckles and sweet smile. When I looked at her paperwork, I learned she was called Daisy; how apt. I mentioned how I liked her bright, shiny name and she lit up, lived up to all that bright ...

coming down
2010-01-05 14:43:00
coming downOriginally uploaded by mama.miltonOur big maple has been coming apart in chucks, taking out fences and making sleep hard to come by when the wind howls.We figure it's only a matter of time before the whole thing goes, and the arborist we consulted agrees.She's coming down today.I hate to see a tree go; I love the shade, the squirrels, the leaves.Our hamster is buried beneath it. The sky will look scarred when I step out in the evenings with my dogs.I tell myself the peace of mind is worth it, but when I leave for work this morning, I plan to linger for just a moment, just one more moment.

party
2010-01-04 17:02:00
January 2nd? It is not known for being a prime party day. Everyone is: Tired, Broke, Hungover/Dieting, Locked in a Padded Cell.Post-Holidays, and most people want to take to their bed.But not these hearty souls. They showed up - and believe me when I say that means more to me than I can say, especially when some people did not - and gave Greg quite a wingding.So happy birthday, a few days late, to my sweet hubby.Get the flash player here: http://www.adobe.com/flashplayer(PictoBro wser is too big for this template. Oops.)
More About: Party

happy birthday
2010-01-02 15:58:00
beachcomberOriginally uploaded by mama.miltonLet the festivities continue. Onward, onward.Happy birthday to my best guy, on the heels of many late work nights.We love you, Greg. May this next year be sweet to you.
More About: Birthday

rolling into the new year
2010-01-01 17:22:00
Donning the skates with the Glorious Cox ladies (Happy birthday, Erika! ox)My date for the afternoon at Oaks Park.Donning, always with the donning, berets for the So I Married an Axe Murderer party.My date for the evening, because Greg worked late into the evening. (Cue the utter-bummed-outness. In 2010, I continue to make up words.)Greg made it just before midnight, so neither of us turned into a pumpkin. I only wish I'd taken more pictures of Jen's great party. I was too pouty/chatty to do so. It was a great start to what I hope is a fine year.(I woke up far too early this morning, to see Greg off to work again - I know, lame - and Jake has chewed the strap off one of my Danskos. That's how he parties. Silly dog.)HAPPY NEW YEAR!
More About: New Year

yesterday, goodbye
2009-12-31 16:25:00
Of course that is not the lyrics to a Chorus Line's What I Did for Love but that's how I remember this song. It's one of the downfalls of public education, I suppose. Mrs. Potter taught me a repertoire of songs in the 70s, sappy ballads that I didn't understand but who can really resist belting out: Goodbye Michelle, it's hard to die. When all the bird are singing in. the. sky? I certainly can't.Look! I brought you some jazz hands. You're welcome.2009 was sweet and joyful; heartbreaking and disappointing. If you'll bear with me - and feel free to gag at the sweet sentiments - I've come to the place of knowing that if I was sad for a time this year, it's because I opened myself up and cared deeply for other people. I was engaged. And as painful as it was, I would do it again. I won't shut down. I won't let it shrink my world.So, farewell to 2009. I'm ready to put her to bed and flirt with new opportunities.Happy New Year, dear friends.
More About: Yesterday

post
2009-12-28 19:49:00
That thud overhead? Don't be alarmed. I'm pretty sure it is the boys - Zack and his cousin, Austin - playing in my room and I am pretty sure because if not, I have to entertain notions about vampires playing baseball upstairs or, Scary Thought #2: there's an intruder. I pick little rambunctious boys for the win, but I am unwilling to verify said theory because that would require rising up out of this chair.And the chair is a nice place to be.The sun is shining through my window and the mutts are huddled together, snoozing the first of many snoozes today.If I had a cup of tea, I could probably justify staying here all day.Yet remarkably, no one is buying this nonsense. I need to take the tree down, and plod my way forward; no more milking 'I'm sore from yoga' today.And it feels good - this calm - on the last week of the year, counting down to something juicy and sweet, around the corner.Tired, and hopeful, Monday just might be my favorite after all.
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Christmas Eve ramblings, the Insomniac Edition
2009-12-24 13:41:00
Well hello there. Dawn has not broken yet my brain just might be for I cannot sleep. This happens with some regularity; three a.m. rolls around and some switch in my brain gets flipped on and my mind races, typically with PLANS for the day or alternately, I think of zombies and Stephen King movies and run-on sentences.(It's foggy here. I'm shutting the blinds.)And because it is Christmas Eve, aka my Mom's birthday in these parts, my to-do list coupled with a sinus headache made the coaxing back to sleep thing impossible.So here I am, packaging rum cakes and sharing my incoherent thoughts with you, dear reader.I like the new Monica Gellar show. I find it funny. Don't judgeI am still searching for the perfect rum cake pan. I will know it when I see it.I miss last year's snow. I just do.I inherited my Mom's making-crafts-until-the-last-minute-for-C hristmas gene. It makes me feel mentally ill and yet, I can't stop myself.I am brewing up a Deep Moments with Stuart Smalley sort of ...

best dad ever (a little love from Zack)
2009-12-13 03:53:00
Zack crouched at the end of the table, stealing glances at Greg while he unwittingly posed, watching football.Zack worships Greg. It is something to behold.(It makes me ache when Greg is working long hours, and is far away. It makes me glad Christmas is nearly here.)
More About: Love

visitors
2009-12-09 17:42:00
And just like that, the month rolls on.My in-laws came to visit, and then we all went to visit a certain bearded fellow, much sought after this time of year.I didn't expect my kids to really sit with him, but they did. They talked him up, poor guy.I wish these days were longer, so I could get through work each day, keep the house clean-ish, do what I need to do to stay healthy and sane AND write, but I make no promises on this 24 hour plan.Y tu? How are you holding up this December?
More About: Visitors

I guess that makes me the angry elf
2009-11-30 21:08:00
I thought maybe we could make ginger bread houses, and eat cookie dough, and go ice skating, and maybe even hold hands. Buddy the ElfI live with Elf. We call him Bubby, for copyrighting purposes, but you get the idea. He is Smiles and Urgency and Squeals. Overly fond of syrup. He is wearing me out.Now, don't get me wrong: Living with a perky elf has its advantages. He will get up early with a spring in his step, ready to take on the day. He loves people. He loves smiles. He has more energy and exuberance than he knows what to do with and I thank God for giving me such a cheerful little guy.But at 6 am, sans coffee, I find myself shushing. When I am overwhelmed by laundry and dirty floors, I find myself growing irritable, which I am pretty sure makes me the angry elf in this scenario. (My apologies to Will Ferrell and the greater Elf population.)So I am forcibly letting go (try that oxymoron on for size) of some of my neurotic 'I have to do Christmas this way' notions, for this li...
More About: Angry

I don't do Black Friday
2009-11-27 17:20:00
The lines. The fighting. No, thanks.I'm taking advantage of this week off and my ever better tootsie and heading to the gym here in a bit.This is not to say I won't be venturing into stores here soon; I'm just putting off the inevitable and more trips to the craft store, which makes me shudder.I took the kids to Michaels last Sunday, prepped and ready. I warned them that I would be there for a while. I warned them that crafty people, post-Halloween, can be surly and insane. I said there will be long lines, and I could very well be named Line Leader again. Still, they insisted they wanted to go.Soon there was whining over little stuffed animals - please, no more! my house is littered with little stuffies - and why can't I buy this and how much longer and I thought we were going to Craft Warehouse and can't we go there now and Christmas is too far away. And I found it's hard to be creative when you want to gnaw on your children.I grabbed some 'necessities' and took my place in...
More About: Black , Friday

smart girls' club
2009-11-26 03:20:00
I am lucky enough to be part of the self-proclaimed Smart Girls ' Club . (I don't remember how we came up with this name, but let's just say it's better than the inappropriate moniker we tried on for size before settling on one slightly less offensive, despite its elitist undertones.)Truth is, I've always surrounded myself with smart girls. Witty women. Smart, sassy sisters. It's just how I roll.Christine, Alisa & SheilaThe blond on the left? Supersmart and celebrating her birthday today. If you can look past our bad taste in perms and the sad sprout growing overhead, you can see it in her eyes: Her future was bright.Sheila, me & ChristineSo, here's to you, Mrs. Parker. Thank you for everything I took from our time together, and the way you continue to inspire me to be more.Happy birthday, Christine!PS: I looked high and low and tore apart my craft room this morning, searching for our Hans & Franz pictures from camp. (Mentally ill, who?) No luck today, but soon I wi...

on (not) writing and other miscellany
2009-11-25 05:10:00
If you don't have the time to read, you don't have the time or the tools to write.Stephen King, On Writing It's true. I took a job, and two dogs and my days were no longer all my own. There were new demands on my time and body and the first thing to go was the reading. Soon, I lost interest in writing, and although it bothered me when I'd fall into bed each night, I also didn't see any way to do it any better.So, I let it go.And waited for a new season to unfold.***Want to stir the pot and watch fur fly? Decide you don't want to be Facebook friends with your best friend's ex after all. Never mind that it is an New Media relationship of little consequence. Just announce that you aren't comfortable reading his status updates and he'll get real offended like. Because you are mean. It would be funny if it wasn't sad, the anger so frightening.***I went to an acupuncturist for the first time on Sunday evening. On paper, I'm a wreck. On paper, I am pathetic or so it seems to me. ...
More About: Miscellany

of skates and blood
2009-11-12 16:30:00
I have a new itch.Well, at least I have been entertaining insane fantasies about joining a roller derby team ever since Whip it!(Would that be a Roller Derbier? Roller Derby-ist? As you can tell, the learning curve is steep: I'm not even sure what the girls in the helmets are properly called. All I know is that they looked like they were having way too much fun, spinning around the track and taking out some aggression in cute little outfits. What's not to love?)I'm not quite ready for rolling just yet, as I wait for my foot to heal so I'm stuck on the sidelines. (Quick update from the delinquent blogger: Stress fracture, left foot. Big drag.)Holly, Stephanie and I chitchatted while a gaggle of our own skated their little legs off at Oaks Park before we made a pit stop for November 11th, part two: Dinner and Augusten Burroughs.You know I had to pick the one with the bulldogs. Aren't they darling?Now Shana will try to claim that she's his soulmate, as did half of the audience ...
More About: Blood

post-parade
2009-11-10 17:36:00
The rain? Made an appearance. (I forgot my goggles.)The boy? Donned his wear, and marched, and made it through. (He was miserable; I won't lie.)The brave men and women that serve our country? We enjoy our freedoms, because of you. Thank you.
More About: Post

moody much
2008-06-10 01:11:00
Mrs. G hit it on the head: A lot of us fatigued. Tired. On the edge. This was supposed to represent my current mood, which rolls up and down like a hot summer day at Magic Mountain. It's hard to read - too small - but I guess you get the idea.I'll be humming along fine, packing and undoing my near hoarding ways, and then Bam! Boohoo! Or I'm having a delightful time in the rain with my kids at their school carnival and then Shazam! I'm in the shower at 10:04 pm, sobbing because I am going to miss my friends tre-mend-ously when I go.I'm fine during dinner on the town; exhausted the next day.I guess this is just life, right now. Emotional and tired and writing lame posts, while I wait for school to get out.I'm so ready.
More About: Moody

atta boy
2008-06-06 17:35:00
Greg has worked hard all year. Gets up at 4 am. Doesn't complain.(You know I would. I always feel guilty when he kisses me goodbye and I tumble back to sleep.)Now, a treat:He made the Achievers club - an annual company vacation - and we are headed to Bermuda this August.So, congratulations honey. Well done. And thank you.
More About: Atta

hobbit feet
2008-06-05 17:30:00
I came across these last night, while I was cleaning out my closet. This was my meager attempt at constructing furry feet for Halloween years ago, when Zack was Frodo.(I see you judging our utter geekitude.)I'm better today. I'm giving a) snuggling on the couch with both kids after school while watching a rotten (my take) movie they loved and b) writing yesterday's post, credit.
More About: Hobbit , Feet

rough day
2008-06-05 02:35:00
He studies the calendar and adores the clock.There is no 'around' or 'about' in his world. He has been needling me, interrogating me over our plans as the school year rounds out.I swear I can hear his mind going through the paces, forming a circle that makes him feel whole and secure.And I want him to be safe and sound in his body and his soul, but these questions wear me down. I answer and write things on the calendar, to ease his anxiety, but he doesn't let up.I don't know how to parent him through these quirks, these obsessions. (I have plenty of neurotic behaviors, but this need to control an itinerary is not one of them.)So, he begins the day, hounding me. Greg is long gone, motoring down the road at 4:30 and I feel like I did when they were just babies. Like such an amateur. Why can't I fix this incessant need to discuss times, dates, plans? I have a sneaking suspicion that if moving has got me a little unhinged - Ms. Spontaneous - the blank canvas next month must ...

oh for goodness sake
2008-06-03 19:48:00
Now that I've taken down the man, I'm ready to hip hop over into a happier place, where bunnies frolic. Or at least I'm ready to point out a few things this week that have made my wee little cup runneth over:The elderly gentleman, wearing a dapper hat and mossy green sweater, carrying a humongous bouquet out of Trader Joe's. Wonder who he gave them to...Lexi's first attempt at the javelin, which was less than stellar. Yet, she chuckled about it. What a gift it is, to laugh at yourself when you try something new. Blogs. Bloggers. Don't like the word itself - it's dopey - but knowing this community will be here no matter where I go makes me feel brave and adventurous. (You will be here, right? I'm fragile.)Standing in the 'is it November?' rain this morning, waiting for the library to open with some pudgy little preschoolers in raincoats and their proud Grandmas. (Does that pink and brown number come in my size, half-pint?)Meeting Greg at a locally owned pizza joint last nig...
More About: Goodness

I'm really not in such a bad mood, but...
2008-06-02 20:15:00
I will have to be brief. Rant and run. But I can't stop thinking about an interaction I had this morning at the school.I was just finishing up the task at hand when a staff member needed help doing some rather easy, but administrative type of stuff for the track meet today. The stuff nobody wants to do, but must be done for things to run smoothly.At first it looked like another parent had it covered and I was ready to jet. Then I heard him explain that he frankly isn't very good with details and someone else should do it. No really. Please, take it away from me.Ok, he didn't say that, but this is what I heard in his tone:Now, I don't mind doing mind-numbing work sometimes. I don't mind lending a hand. I appreciate seeing working parents volunteering, because I know firsthand how difficult it can be.But please, drop the complimentary 'I bet you are good at this' crap next time. Drop that grin. (Good thing you didn't pat my head too.) I'm not buying it.I know a lame excuse wh...
More About: Mood , Bad Mood

parenting mistake #76
2008-05-31 19:04:00
Dear readers,Yes, you! With the cute little tyke wrapped around your ankle. It's confession time.I've been successfully and singlehandedly doing some minor renovations in our bathroom, between tea with friends (read: therapy), school obligations and a return to jazzercise.My house looks like I have abandoned it to raccoons.So, as per my usual, I made up some chore lists for my kids this morning. Simple things they can do while Greg and I tackle improvements designed to sell this house.Zack is more tidy in nature; lists make his heart sing. He is plowing through his. Happy is he and his organized brain, which I may never fully comphrehend.Lexi is creating alternative lists to my list; still helpful, but not what I need right now. She thinks this is a democracy. She thinks the lists should be equal in difficulty, that I should ignore the three year age difference. She thinks baking me shortbread for strawberries is in order. (She may be on to something.)I've created a chore monster...
More About: Parenting

the boys
2008-05-30 16:57:00
Austin, 5Caden, 2I watched my nephews while my sister went and got all pretty, with a cut and color.They are rascals, and sweet and quick, quick, quick.(Their Aunt Sissy thinks they're real cool cats.)
More About: Boys , The Boys

pork chops over politics
2008-05-30 00:04:00
So I emerged from my painting pit, to some strange news. I guess Rachael Ray was under fire yesterday over a scarf she was wearing in a recent Dunkin' Donuts ad.Conservative pundit Michelle Malkin claimed the scarf resembles a keffiyeh, and symbolizes support for Muslim extremism and terrorism. Stranger still: She seemed to imply that unless you are 'clueless', you would have known better than to wear 'distinctive hate couture'.I'll be honest. I don't know if keffiyehs are bold political statements. I don't know if they are offensive. I don't know much about them at all, sweeping me into the clueless department.But I know a little about Ms. Ray: She may be loud. She may have saturated the airwaves with too much Yum-o. She may have found a way to foist canned tomatoes on planet Earth, sneaking them in 93.78397% of her recipes.But covert terrorist supporter? Big political player? Pah-leese.I'm filing this one under 'I have bigger fish to fry, frankly' category.(I did googl...
More About: Politics , Pork , Chops