Mama MiltonMama MiltonMinistry major turned bartender marries, has babies, makes peace with her Maker and rides off in the suburban sunset. Movie to follow. Did I mention there will be laughter? 
Articles
still my favorite spooky pic: the cat and the bat
2007-10-31 16:46:00 The ghouls took all my words. {Wednesday, Wordless.} More About: Favorite , Spooky , Favor
it's the great letdown, charlie brown
2007-10-30 20:31:00 The kids hopped off the bus yesterday and slapped on their costume apparel.We were headed to Sauvieland, a pumpkin patch, sure to be the hit it was last year. Right? RIGHT? Enter the ominous music; it was a bummer.Sure we had a good time. The kids looked great and went on a ride around the property, pulled by a tractor.And I snapped their picture with the pumpkins, something I do every year.But it just didn't live up to the expectations of our cast and crew.{Personal disappointment + hungry crying boy + preteen drama queen crying girl = Wavering Sanity.}Finally I pulled the ripcord - I directed the sobbing children to the car, tromping through the mud, having those icky Motherhood feelings that made me come thisclose to shouting: (Not so pretty or proud.) But instead, I turned up the radio, some White Stripes to drown out the disappointed throng. Once I realized, 10 miles later, that Lexi may be somewhat sane again, I turned down the radio and she told me it had been so fabulous la... More About: Great , Brown , Charlie , Char , Charlie Brown
paint and the pullman controversy
2007-10-29 19:11:00 It is Monday morning and I have nowhere to be - I think my heart jumped in my chest. I went on a walk, while Greg continued painting the house the happiest shade of mustard yellow, though I can tell he is worried. Something about school bus yellow. I'll leave him to his fretting. I see Tuscan flair, once the shutters and door are no longer country blue and I plant red flowers in terra cotta pots this spring. I'm forecasting lavender - the herb, not paint. I can picture it now while I sit in my robe, with a mask on my face. I'm sorta mummified, can't answer the phone. Yes, it is Monday morning and he is working very hard. I am not.Yet I am troubled. I don't even want to write about The Golden Compass controversy a brewing but it's on my mind. So here it goes: this unfit Christian wants to weigh in on this email campaign about Philip Pull man.I read the books a couple of years ago, before I started going to church again. I wasn't looking for an agenda in the trilogy; I didn't k... More About: Controversy , Paint
last litter
2007-10-29 02:26:00 We swung by my Grandma's place today, to snap some pictures for her Christmas card. She usually sends out about 200 cards, at the very last possible moment, and gets hundreds of pictures of dogs back every year. It's a little crazy, and I don't like the kennel, but it's strange to think this is the last litter.
bad mom made me do it
2007-10-28 00:40:00 Bad Mom went on her merry way, seeking her celebrity heritage, so I thought I'd play along. Because it is very meaningful, finding my long lost relatives.Who do you look like? More About: Made
call me grizzly adams
2007-10-26 20:31:00 I grew up before stranger danger was hip; I lived in the woods and did what I pleased. Nobody worried much back then. I spent my summers on the back half of our acres, with a brown bag for snacks and a vivid imagination. I thought the clouds obeyed my whim. I chased bunnies and picked blackberries, huckleberries. And when it was time for my Dad to come home, I'd tear down the path, through the wild christmas trees, to the corner, so he could pick me up and drive me the 300 yards home.I grew up loving solitude, wishing I had the guts to hide away in a tree on Mt. Hood, like the kid from my favorite book at the time, My Side of the Mountain.We were poor. It's popular to make that claim, to downplay your upbringing, but it's true. My parents narrowly escaped the drunken chaos of their childhoods, fleeing southern California and leaving the rat race behind. They bought some property, and propped our home up on blocks because they couldn't afford a foundation. We didn't have running... More About: Adams , Call
the horror of ponies and a God that laughs
2007-10-25 15:00:00 After two strenuous days of school, the kids are slacking the rest of the week, doing the half day thing. They raced off the bus yesterday, flooding me with big plans for the day. But alas, I was in the the bad stretch pants - the bad sweats' pitiful cousin - sipping tea. We were grounded.The rain came back and we had a quiet afternoon, well, except for the kids in my house part. We popped popcorn, and watched Evan Almighty, cackling at bird poopy jokes, dancing like fools with Steve Carell and Morgan Freeman at the end of the show. Yes, the fictional freckled God added an 11th commandment to dance, and I believe in that kind of God. I do.We all climbed on my bed, books in tow. Zack read a few on his own and then asked me to read a couple more to him. We read some classics: Frog and Toad, Edwina by Mo Willems, the brilliant. Then he raced to the shelf and found one of Lexi's book fair castoffs and begged me to play along. HE MADE ME READ MY LITTLE PONY - PONY PARTY. I thought I'd... More About: Horror , Ponies , Laugh
cupcakes for a cause
2007-10-25 04:27:00 Send a virtual cupcake to your pals and donate a buck to a worthy cause: CancerCare for Kids.No fuss, no calories, just helping sick kids. Count me in.
"now let's make sure Ms. Milton is comfortable..." (Fade to black.)
2007-10-24 00:46:00 Look at me! Sitting up! Well, I guess you'll have to take my word for it. I'm back in my chair and overusing exclamation marks.I came through my procedure - which makes it sound like I had a facelift - just fine. I'm considering getting a cheery tattoo on my forearm, like good luck, to bolster the nursing staff charged with starting an IV on my puny veins - it really is a challenge. They work the needle like parking a SUV in a small parking lot, in out, in out, in out, apologizing under their breath. Nothing like giving them a quest, I guess. But thankfully, that was the worst of it because the drugs were just that good. I can hardly remember any of it.Greg brought me home and went to fetch me jello and soup while I rested. I swore I felt OK until I passed out, barely finishing my phone call. I woke up in a fright, certain I heard the kids' bus and I flung myself down the stairs, sliding in my socks and nearly breaking my neck for kids that were still at school. I think this is ... More About: Black , Fade , Make , Milton , Comfort
much like a drowned rat
2007-10-22 03:41:00 Did I mention it was supposed to rain on our glorious mom and me horse camp trip? I think I did. And I'm here to report that mother nature kept her promise - it poured.It poured when we loaded up, it poured when we unpacked. It poured during our meals, the rain woke me up in the night. It poured, it poured, it poured. But we had a great time.I survived staying in a cabin with eleven 9-13 year old girls with another beleaguered mom. (Our leader 'mysteriously' volunteered to take the 2 extra girls to another nearly empty cabin. She's brilliant folks.)We took an archery lesson.But the best part was riding. It's been years since I've been on a horse; I have to admit I was pretty nervous climbing up on Alex. We tromped through the mud, deep into the woods covered in a blanket of moss. The fog hadn't completely lifted, and for the first time all weekend, a hush came over the troop. I longed for my camera, but settled for staying in that moment, in the silence and the quiet rain.It ...
birthday wishes from Mr. Ed
2007-10-19 15:16:00 Today is packed: I'm working out, attending a baby shower and then I'm hauling a bunch of girl scouts out to the woods for horseback camp. Overnight. In the rain. I'm digging out every piece of fleece I own because the weather is dreadful, at least for a trail ride. Lexi is packing lots of thin layers as the scouts wear matching bright shirts over everything, to make them identifiable, if they were to get lost in the woods. I'm thinking if I happened upon a lone, crying girl deep in the woods, I would figure it out. But I'm not the director so we obey.I'm overlooking the cold and focusing on the time spent with my girl. I better be making it awesome because this trip came at a price. I am taking off on one of the holiest of all holy days in my family - my sister's birthday. You think I jest. I worried a wee bit when the star lined up against me, pitting the beloved horse camp vs. Lori. Lori loves her birthday in a way I just don't understand. There's a lot of plotting invol... More About: Birthday , Wishes , Birthday Wish
I can't type; I killed my hands by way of pumpkin
2007-10-18 17:13:00 We finished up our pumpkins last night.The kids even wielded a blade. Am I crazy?(I'm off to help out on picture day. It's raining with 40 mph winds in the forecast. I can't wait to see what this does to the precious's hair.)___________Technorati Tags:pumpkins, halloween, jack-o-lanternsAdd to: Technorati Digg del.icio.us Yahoo BlinkList Spurl reddit Furl More About: Pumpkin , Hands , Type , Killed , Pump
this one time at band camp
2007-10-16 02:09:00 Some mornings I am overwhelmed by the sheer volume of words my daughter fires at me. Words imbued with exclamation! exhilaration! And don't forget the sing-song quality that feels like verbal bludgeoning before I have met my caffeine quota or taken a shower.But then I look at her. I fear Guileless Lexi has a short shelf-life, that in the coming years the world may not be as bright and full of wonder like it is now so I don't interrupt or let myself grow irritated. These days are short; someday soon she will keep her thoughts to herself, leaving me behind.Please excuse me while I grab a cup of joe, and settle in for a bit. I've got some attention to pay.____________Technorati Tags:chatty, American Pie, motherhood, tweensAdd to: Technorati Digg del.icio.us Yahoo BlinkList Spurl reddit Furl More About: Band , Time , Camp
pumpkin guts suddenly sound appealing
2007-10-15 15:00:00 Greg gutted our pumpkins yesterday so I decided to reward him with some inane football watching/Xbox joy free time, while I took Zack to his swimming lessons.I settled in to read Grace (Eventually), plopped in a chair behind the glass observation wall. A young lifeguard somehow managed to escape between our worlds and approached the couple sitting in front of me. I thought, Oh how nice. He's probably telling them that their kiddo is excelling, needs to be moved up. Or maybe the poor darling is scared. What can I say? I was feeling generous.Then I heard, in painful slo-mo, the words no mother wants to hear at the pool: Open sores.Yes. Young Master Joey McOozenton* came to the pool, and hopped on in with the unsuspecting youngsters, all with his grandparents' blessing. Good gravy folks, what were you thinking? And, um, ew.Better yet, they managed to say something to dismiss the concerns, something that made the sores somehow alright-y with the lifeguard. I resisted the urge to plung... More About: Sound , Pumpkin , Pump , Appeal
see you tomorrow
2007-10-14 15:40:00 I started a post yesterday - after my class, in the yard while some neighborhood friends were here playing with the kids. The sun made an appearance and I sat outside, equal parts supervisor and writer.And then my laptop konked out.And I saw last week's Sunday paper, still untouched. (Correction: I think Lexi pulled out some ads.)And I don't want to talk about the laundry.So, my post will have to wait. I'll be back tomorrow. I'm in search of the perfect pumpkin today, before the forecast calls for heavy rain and domestic chores. More About: Tomorrow , Morrow , Tomo
in all their splendor
2007-10-13 05:25:00 If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, "thank you," that would suffice. Meister Eckhart
(d)our (m)inions co(v)ey
2007-10-11 16:46:00 I'm sorry to announce that I am crabby. I wanted to throw a party; I have now written 300 posts. I wanted to write about baking cookies with my kids last night, life lessons with flour and eggs. (The kids learn fractions, I learn p a t i e n c e.) Instead I was a good citizen, good wifey and took my car for a vehicle emissions test.I pulled up to the booth and immediately the young woman started asking me questions. I'm not even going to pretend I speak car. My husband speaks car to me all the time. I 'listen' but don't retain squat. Heck, I listen and it sounds like:car car car, car car car, blahblahblah, what's for dinner? blahblahblah car car car, you are pretty and the best wife ever, carcarcarblahblahblah, blah blah, Buffy. (Okay, he never talks about Buffy which makes me weep.)You get the picture. I only perk up when it pertains to me. So when Ms. Inspection asked me a reasonable question I didn't know the answer to, I sighed and made a guess. In a grander moment, I wou...
the suburban artiste; taking this show on the road, or trying anyway
2007-10-10 21:02:00 Now is the time when the battle begin: My bloggy brain says 'stay awhile, in this comfy chair and drown in blog-reading heaven' while the rest of me knows I have things to do. Tangible things. Things that demand getting dressed and going to the school and creating waterpaper apple die-cuts because I said I would for Art Discovery. My mouth said yes and so I am following through. Stupid mouth.But my mouth has said other things too. (I'm chatty.) Like, I am going to work on my short story and there is a novel I've been dragging my feet on. Here it is October, and I am avoiding writing fiction because I have no idea where to start. It's new and difficult so I took action: God help me, I've signed up for a writing seminar.I just finished the required reading this morning and the anxiety is setting in. Portland is teeming with hip hipster-type people that write and I can't help but imagine they are going to sniff out my PTA status and scowl. Or maybe that's my burgeoning inferior... More About: Show , Road , On The Road , Suburban , Taking
over the river and through the woods
2007-10-10 16:19:00 Applegates' Beagle KennelIt must be Wednesday. Get wordless.__________Technorati Tags:fall, foliage, autumn, wagon, wordless wednesdayAdd to: Technorati Digg del.icio.us Yahoo BlinkList Spurl reddit Furl More About: River , Woods
hibernating
2007-10-09 23:50:00 all done Originally uploaded by mama.milton My sister, Lori, and her husband went out to dinner for their anniversary on Sunday while I watched their boys. Caden cried for a while after they left, finally collapsed in a heap on the floor.I scooped him up and he faintly smiled before going back to sleep.I hear you, CC Bear. Sometimes a nap is called for.
motion sickness
2007-10-08 16:54:00 We wound our way to my Grandma's house, by the Clackamas River. I am dizzy, taking in the leaves. I don't want them to fall off; autumn is too short.I sit with Grandma while my Mom greets boarders, picking up their dogs. She is delivering bad news, the business is closing. Lexi and Zack run around with the final litter of puppies, chase a cat. I spent my childhood, on that same grass.Grandma talks about going through papers. I read something Papa wrote for church, years ago. There's an old scholarship application, and my sister's high school transcript. She keeps everything.She is adamant she needs her Jeep and nods off, mid-sentence. She is helpless, and somehow still obstinate. I can't figure it out. She doesn't want to let go, move to my parents' property in a place of her own. She asks me how would I like it if I had to move?And I quietly remind her that Greg and I are considering it right now. He is working in another town more and more. I talk to him on the phone and he... More About: Sickness , Motion
deep thoughts, on a sunday evening
2007-10-08 03:34:00 Bio-putty in the hands of an amateur (me) + 15 two year-olds + Sunday best = biohazard. What ever happened to a day of rest? More About: Thoughts , Deep Thoughts , Deep , Evening
bug, sharp objects and other dark things
2007-10-06 19:21:00 I have a rather sunny, upbeat personality (just go with it) but I like me some creepy, dark movies and books. I've got two thought provoking recommendations for fall, if you like to be unnerved, just a little.Here we go: First up: Sharp Objects . I know Powell's Books was pushing this book hard last year, and Stephen King wrote a blurb for the cover, so this may be old news. But I am slow. (Did I mention I am finally reading Eat, Pray, Love? I am clearly behind the curve.) Flynn has crafted a sticky tale that goes to the heart of motherhood, when things go wrong. Not only did I enjoy watching the storyline and characters unwind, but I found myself rereading her beautiful, sparse sentences. It was a joy to read, so I might be a sick woman.Next: Bug. Now you need a creepy flick too. This movie was adapted from a play, and it has that feel. The cast and set is limited, claustrophobic. If you can make it through the first half hour, which I found slow, I think it is amazing. Nihilistic... More About: Dark , Things
and so it begins
2007-10-05 19:03:00 Morning doesn't agree with Lexi. They are sworn enemies; it's a drag whenever they get together.(If you do the math, the sun rises each day and the epic struggle continues.)Zack bounces out of bed each day, races around, like he's secretly trading Lord of the Rings action figures for lattes out of his bedroom window. Like he's a closet coffee drinker.My girl is sidetracked Suzy, flitting about, dreamy. The words from my lips, a figment.She forgets to turn down the burner and her oatmeal sloshes on the stove top. I keep my cool; I am a Zen master. Still she panics.I gently remind her what time it is. I strongly suggest she go outside.The bus is long gone.I dry my hair, brush my teeth and drive them to school. I calmly explain that we will be restructuring our morning routine next week. And all seems well.As we step on the curb, Zack asks, "Where did Lexi go?" I look around and she has vanished. Is she picking clovers? Did she wander to the swings? Is she telling another Mom about...
let's talk about something lighter, tv perhaps
2007-10-04 15:35:00 The past few weeks have been heavy. Too heavy. I think I need to tread somewhere lighter today, something I find much easier now that Greg is home. Rumor has it (shhh) that he will be here all week. Like a comedian.{I am leaping about, with my laptop, which is harder than you might think.}School let out early yesterday, so the kids camped out upstairs all afternoon, playing uno and zoo. I am guessing about the zoo thing. It's the only way I can explain the bleating and squeals. Zack helped me do the dishes, teetering on his tippy toes. Lexi spoke in exclamation marks about MAKING PILLOWS FROM OLD JEANS! BEING HANNAH MONTANA FOR HALLOWEEN! AND HER HAIR! HER HAIR!(And I must ask, when will she stop talking about it? I suffered through a haircut Saturday, actively ignoring her frowny face, forcing her to tell the nice lady what the heck she wants. Which was bangs. Bangs = tween panacea, for about 347 minutes. Oh, they were glorious hours.)We hustled to finish our chores before Greg pu... More About: Talk , Lighter , Some
amends
2007-10-03 23:07:00 I considered taking the kids over to my Grandma's today, to give my Mom a hand while the kids play. There's always something fun to do at a dog kennel - chase puppies, run in the mud. But Zack is coughing and congested. It is better I stay away.Grandma is spending a lot of time sleeping now, or watching TV. It's hard for me to picture her sitting down. In my mind, she is never still, always in motion. Telling us what to do.She is bossy. Or is it 'she was bossy'? I don't know anymore. It just seems that she always gets her way, even now.I close my eyes and imagine my Mom feeding the dogs she is trying to place now, taking on the chores we all swore we didn't want to do. I see her sleeping there and it starts to sink in. I may grouse about my hurt feelings or revisit better times, but really, I grieve for my Mom. I wish she could have heard the words she needed to hear, some sort of apology. I wish my Grandma could have done it, stopped talking about her show dogs, and paid mor... More About: Amen
get in line
2007-10-03 05:08:00 Sorry it's dark. When I 'painted' over our address, the picture became murky. Oops.Everybody wants a little of his time...(Wordless Wednesday! Now with exclamation points!) More About: Line
shadows
More articles from this author:2007-10-03 00:21:00 Another storm is coming in - the wind is rattling the windows while I fold clothes. The sky is dark. My Mom is between households, one foot at home, the other at my Grandma's place. It's hard for me to talk about the past few days. It's hard because my Grandma was a flawed, neglectful parent; she was critical of me, impossible to please. And we have her with us still, but under my Mom's care. Like a child.Things are different now. She may not improve, return to her old self. I can't help but feel sad that she was too busy to make time for her family while she could. I won't lie: Beneath the quiet grief is a flicker of anger. There is so much to do and the burden feels heavy and our small extended family will be extended further. (My Grandma runs a business from home. I promise I will do a better job explaining the situation down the line.)So. I look out the window and I reach for my kids. We talk about their day at school, fix snacks, admire the itty bitty pumpkin I picked up ... More About: Shadows 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 |
|
 |
|
 |
